Louisiana Rubber Down Magazine November Vol. 12

RUBBERDOWNMAGAZINE.COM November 2013 PUBLISHED FOR BIKERS; BY BIKERS WHERE THERE IS HOT RUBBER THERE IS A HOT BIKE

inside NOVEMBER < Photo by Dave. S “Harley-Davidson Softail Slim 1994 Style” 8 ABATE Benefit 34 Armadillo Automotive Company, LLC 3 Staff 37 B.A.C.A. Poker Run 4 Editorial 19 Blanchard’s Trailer Unlimited of LA. LLC 5 Bike Night 32 Bobby D’s Boomerangs 38 6 Pet Adoption 32 Cajun Country Lounge 9 On the Cover 17 Cenla Lubricants, LLC 14 Biker Life & Culture 18 Chere’s II 15 Recipe of the Month 6 Crescent City Choppers 16 Hog Humor 26 Fat Cat Saloon 19 Geezer Column 36 Fleet 162 Inc. 5th Annual Charity Poker Run 20 Calendar 34 Flirty Lee’s Friends Tavern 15 22 Tribute to Lady Bikers 27 GeraGear Leather 23 Riding on a Wing and a Prayer 38 Handyman Kirk Gros 27 Veterans Column 7 Harley-Davidson New Orleans 33 Biker Bands 28 Just One More 35 LA Motorcycle Clubs and Organizations 34 John Bennette Benefit 36 Military MC’s 38 Kirk Gros 11 Little Caillou Bar 30 Mike Cat’s Cycle Works 10 Boo Benefit 2013 13 Mike’s Motorcycle Detailing 31 Moe’s and Big D’s Stumble In 12 The Purple Queen 24 Paul Miller’s Motorcycle Specialties Performance Custom Interiors 9 25 Veterans Day 34 Plaisance’s Bar Precision Ink 39 29 Ram Rod’s Saloon 28 The Adventures of Biker Billy Part 1 22 Screwie Louie Tattoos 23 Smitty’s Cycles 4 Steel Anchor Bar 33 The Swamp Inn Lounge 24 T.T.T.’s 10 Whiskey Heaven

STAFF UNCLE JERRY EDITOR-IN-CHIEF [email protected] (504)231-0266 BRADLEY MEDINA GRAPHIC DESIGNER [email protected] JOY SCHILLING SALES REP Algiers, Placquemine Parish, St. Bernard Parish [email protected] (504)912-3614 KIRK GROS SALES REP Cover Photo(s) Jefferson Parish (Top) [email protected] Cover Photo by Mark Engelbrecht “USA Flag 1” (504)382-1203 You can fnd more of his photos at MELANIE SALES REP http://www.fickr.com/people/93751689@N04/ Lafayette and Surrounding Areas (Edge) foletta-stock “Autumn Leaf 32” [email protected] (Bottom) (337)277-4474 Cover Photo by Michael Arrighi “BMW circa WW2, National Geographic Expedition, 65th D-Day Anniver- L. PATTERSON INTERNET SALES say Tour, at Arromanches” Modren replica BMW You can fnd more of his photos at [email protected] http://www.fickr.com/people/arrighi/ KAREN “SLOWROLL” WILLIAMS SALES REP Sales Reps Needed Houma and Surrounding Areas Get Paid to be a biker and do [email protected] (504)401-0932 something you love. Rubber Down Magazine is hiring Sales Staff BRUCE Le BLANC OFFICIAL F/T or P/ T for the following areas. PHOTOGRAPHER Orleans Parish Alexandria & Surrounding Areas Baton Rouge & Surrounding Areas Hammond & Ponchatoula Rubber Down Magazine ® is Trade Marked and may not be St. Johns, St. James, St. Charles Parishes used in any way, shape, or form without the written consent from Rubber Down Publishing. Rubber Down LLC of Loui- Houma/Thibodeaux & Surrounding Areas siana and its publishers reserve all rights. No part of its con- If you have a tent may be reproduced without written permission. Publisher Cell Phone and owner assumes no responsibility and is not to be held Decent Camera(cell phone ok) liable for errors beyond the cost of the space occupied by the Basic Computer Skills error: slander of any individual, group, failure to produce any Biker Enthusiast (Bike Not Needed) issue as scheduled due to reasons beyond our control, any and all suits for liable, plagiarism, copyright infringement and Sales Experience Preferred, but will train. unauthorized use of a person’s name or photograph. Opinions If you checked YES to all of the above call me and claims made by advertisers and authors are their own today or email me. and do not necessarily represent the policy of Rubber Down magazine, its publishers, owners or its printers. Publisher, “Uncle Jerry” and owner of Rubber Down Magazine does not promote the Editor-in-Charge abuse of alcohol or any and all drugs. “Keep the shiny side (504)231-0266 up and the rubber down”. Thank-you, Rubber Down, and Louisiana Rubber Down Magazine. [email protected] RUBBER DOWN MAGAZINE NOVEMBER 2013 PAGE 3

A WORD FROM THE EDITOR Hello to all my friends! ell I’m back!! I am very happy to be part of this magazine. As you know, Kent Hunter and I started Wthis rag back in Oct 2012. We wanted to give bikers a chance to read a real biker magazine. Well, things shifted in Nov. of 2012 when Kent and I disappeared from the magazine. Some other guy took it over and he didn’t last very long. The last Editor started out doing well but, through the months of her leadership, the magazine was brought down to a level that some people called “sleazy”. That was said to me by many of our current and prospective advertisers. I do not have a problem in putting Bikini clad gals in the rag, but too much is too much. In the coming months we will have our calendar gal 124 North Hollywood Rd. graceing our INFORMATION calendar (why have a calendar Houma, LA with no events posted DUH?) New events, new columns and lots of bikes will be added. This is a biker rag, not a girlie COME SHARE IN OUR SPECIAL magazine. This next change will be for lady riders, HOT DUDES on a bike. Ladies, I hope you will like this addition. MILITARY TRIBUTE EVERY FRIDAY Guys, turn your head! AT MIDNIGHT Some of the other changes will be, a free 1/4 page color ad for any biker related 501.C3 organization or a worthy cause for BILLIARDS - DARTS a downed biker family. This will be frst come, frst served KARAOKE ON FRIDAYS on a availability basis subject to approval. Photos of pets up for adoption from local animal shelters, up to date jokes (not DRINK SPECIALS - 2 for 1 Well til 10 PM canned like other rags) from some of my sick friends, a “bitch “column where I want to hear from you, good or bad. A Biker Owners: Benjamin & Sherry Badon Beard contest is also in the planning stages. If you have any more ideas, please email me with your suggestions. A Veterans Corner with up to date info for our vets. Remember I am a 25 Free 1/4 Ad for a 501. c3 year US Navy veteran. I am proud to have served and I want to help our brothers and sisters. Safety tips from one of the Organization or Benefit for a best instructors with HDNO. Lots of other articles that will come up in the near future. I want to make this rag #1 in the downed biker. Subject to area. As of now, we will distribute about 150 miles out from approval and availiability. New Orleans. But in the very near future I plan to branch out all over the state and then to the entire USA. Yes, I have big ONLY 1 AD PER MONTH, dreams, but it will take a team (TEAM STANDS FOR T. to- 1st Come 1st Served gether E. everyone A. accomplishes M. more). Rubber Down prides itself on operating with honesty, fair prices and great Articles, Bikes, Events, Stories, Ads, representatives. I will not stand for incompetence. Mistakes Questions, Letters, and Comments can all be happen, that is why erasers and white out were invented, but making them over and over will not happen on my watch. emailed at So let me know what you think. Send me an email or call. I [email protected] want all our riders to be a part of this magazine. Always remember, “KEEP THE RUBBER SIDE DOWN & for submissions in the magazine. THE SHINY SIDE UP” by: Uncle Jerry Editor-in-Chief Got an Event or Story to tell...? Contact Uncle Jerry at (504)231-0266 In an effort to keep the calendar and all local event information available to our readers and you, the riders, please email Rubber Down magazine with all your events and rides. We will publish your events as long as it comes in a timely manner. All events received after the 23/24 of the month, will be published the next month. https://www. facebook.com/louisianarubberdown RUBBER DOWN MAGAZINE NOVEMBER 2013 PAGE 4

BIKE NIGHT TUESDAY CYCLE WORLD OF HOUMA PLAISANCE’S BAR 5509 W Park Ave, Houma, LA. 985-876-6104. 3rd 1920 Pratt St. Gretna, LA. Smallest Bike Night on Thursday. the Westbank. Happy Hour and Bike Night. TWIN PEAKS HOOTERS OF DENHAM SPRINGS 6990 Siegen Lane, Baton Rouge, LA. Spon- 254 Range 12 Boulevard Denham Springs LA. sored by Baton Rouge Harley-Davidson. (225)243-7962 Bike Night every Tuesday. First www.twinpeaksrestaurant.com Tuesday of the month is Hooter’s Bike Bash with Baton Rouge Harley-Davidson, vendors and a DJ. TRASHY BIKER BAR JUST ONE MORE 23942 Hwy 22 East, Ponchatoula, LA. 6545 W. Main Street, Houma, LA. 985-873-9923. $8.00 beer buckets. All shots $2.00. Bike Night & Steak Night with DJ. Inside overnight bike parking. WEDNESDAY FRIDAY SHOVELHEAD’S SALOON 140 I-310 Service Road, St. Rose, LA. Behind Race- FLIRTY LEE’S Trac. 504-468-9007. $2.00 domestic longnecks. 8657 West Main Street, Houma, LA. 985-360-3827. THE KAMP $1.50 longnecks, $4.00 Jägerbombs. 2317 Hickory Ave. Harahan, LA. Live music from local bands for most bike nights and food next door STEEL ANCHOR at the ever so delicious Hillbilly Barbeque. 6441 W. Main St. Houma, LA (985)850-0070 ANOTHONY’S OUTRIGGER 7 Pm Bike Night - Free Food for Bikers $1.50 Do- 113 Hampton St. Houma, LA. 985-876-4911. mestic, $2.50 Import WICKED SPIRITS SATURDAY 1115 Washington St. West, Monroe, LA. 318-322-3939. DAGO’S ALLEY PRESENTS HOT ROD & BIKE NIGHT COSCINO’S PIZZA & ITALIAN RESTAURANT 1201 Lakeshore Dr, Lake Charles, LA. 337-433- 1817 N. Causeway Blvd, Mandeville, LA, Beer & 3033. 2nd Saturday. Food Specials, Live Music. www.coscinospizza.com RENE’S BLUE MOON for more information. 100 North Willow St, Lockport, LA. 985-532-5533. Cajun Country Lounge Karaoke. 8448 Main St. Houma, LA Acoustic and Open Mic Night TRIPLE T’S 6271 West Main Street, Houma. 985-223-0031 1st Saturday, 7 to Midnight. THURSDAY SANTA FE CATTLE COMPANY SUNDAY BOBBY D’S SPORTS BAR 2035 Hammond Square Dr, Hammond, LA. 985- 6909 Westbank Expressway, Marrero, LA. 504-302- 345-9919. 3rd Thursday. Sponsored by Hammond 1450. All day, all night Bike Night. Free food. Harley-Davidson. BAYOU SCOUNDREL DAIQUIRIS Six Packs 8837 Florida Blvd, Suite B, Walker, LA. 225-271- 5155 West Park Ave. Houma, La. Every Thursday 7PM - till’ 4438. www.facebook.com/BayouScoundrelDaiquiris (985)876-0009 - Drink Specials and Free Food RUBBER DOWN MAGAZINE NOVEMBER 2013 PAGE 5

Plaquemines Animal Welfare Society (PAWS), a no-kill animal shelter located in Belle Chasse, LA, is dedicated to the humane and lov- ing treatment of stray and homeless animals. PAWS mission is to rescue, shelter and adopt healthy dogs and cats and provide educational and charitable services to pet owners in Plaquemines Parish. As a part of that mission, PAWS educates com- munity members on responsible pet ownership including the benefts of spaying/ neutering pets as well as providing information on pet care, training and mainte- nance. As a non-proft organization, PAWS relies solely on donations from caring indi- viduals, businesses, friends, adoptions and fundraisers. Donations pay for surgery, spaying/neutering, vet care, immunizations worming and medicines. Donations also help pay for dog/cat food, and special diets for kittens/puppies, and sick animals. PAWS insures that each animal adopted is healthy and protected against diseases. A Email us a Photo and any other relevant infor- complete record is maintained on all animals and every effort is made to match the mation to [email protected] pet and owner for a lifetime of incredible companionship. ROGER TRUDEAU 504-368-8147 We are the only Crescent City Choppers motorcycle shop in the can convert their area with a complete current ride or build a machine shop for trike from any donor custom motorcycle bike to suit their needs. work. 3936 Peters Road Harley-Davidson Harvey, LA 70058 V-Twin Distributor From this... To THIS!! [email protected] www.cycleocity.com RUBBER DOWN MAGAZINE NOVEMBER 2013 PAGE 6



32nd Annual ABATE of Louisiana, Inc. Magnolia School Toy Run A Project of Love from ABATE of Louisiana, Inc “NEW ORLEANS MOST IMPORTANT MOTORCYCLE EVENT” SUNDAY, DECEMBER 8, 2013 Line-up starts at 10:00am Leaving Avondale Truck Stop, 3110 Highway 90, Avondale, LA At noon sharp For further information call: able for Men & Women sizes M - XXXL. Terri Nicely Key 504.628.4626 David Key 504.628.4625 Feel free to donate a wrapped gift or clothing suit- Harry Delaune 985.415.3468 Please label outside if gender or age specific. Toy Run Pins & Rockers will be availiable All gifts and donations are to benefit the school and the clients. This is a free events offered to the motorcycling community to show support for Magnolia School during the Christmas holidays. Please bring all wrapped gifts to one of the, drop off points listed below LAST DAY GIFTS WILL BE ACCEPTED AT THESE POINTS IS NOVEMBER 24, 2013 EASTBANK Pit Stop, 4117 Jefferson Hwy, Jefferson 504.828.2928 N.O. Harley Davidson, 6015 Airline Hwy 504.736.9600 WESTBANK GeraGear, 1000 West Dr, Westwego 504.348.7928 NORTHSHORE (Ya Ya’s) Daiquiri Depot, 1001 Hwy 190, Covington 985.893.7305 ALL DONATIONS TO ABATE OF LOUISIANA, INC ARE NOT TAX DEDUCTABLE. I AGREE TO NOT HOLD ABATE OF LOUISIANA, INC OR ANY ORGANIZATION OR PROPERTY OWNERS RESPONSIBLE FOR LOSS?INJURY TO SELF OR PROPERTY WHILE PARTICIPATING IN THIS EVENT.

On the Cover: Although it is not an WW2 Replica of a BMW R71, bears close resemblance to the BMW R75 American made bike, it heavily infunced the production of similar bikes for American troops, such as Harley-Davidson’s XA. Photo by Jean-Pol GRANDMONT “ BMW R75 motorcycle with sidecar of the 116. Pz. Div.” Harley-Davidson’s XA. Marshall Museum - Liberty The Netherlands OPEN 9 to 5 Six Days Sewing on Hard to do Leather - Custom Leather Seats - Custom Bike Seats - Custom Saddle Bags - Carpets, Head Liners - Vinyl Tops - Convertible Tops - Custom Embroidery - Leather Vests 6245 Westbank Expwy. 504-347-2840 Building-D Suite 64 Marrero, LA 70072 [email protected] RUBBER DOWN MAGAZINE NOVEMBER 2013 PAGE 9

Boo Beneft began in October of 1998 after Boo (Charles “Boo” Chaler) was burned over 95% of his body in a weld- ing accident in May 1998. It is an an- nual rally that aids Camp I’m Still Me (formally Louisiana Burn Camp) in providing opportunities for children who are burn survivors. 2013 You can fnd more information about Boo Beneft at www.boobeneft.org 719 Hwy. 182 Bayou Vista, LA 70380 (985)395-3193 RUBBER DOWN MAGAZINE NOVEMBER 2013 PAGE 10

Bikes at the Boo Benefit 102 Doctor Hugh St. Martin Rd. Chauvin, LA Monday Night - Beer Pong Tournament, $3.00 shots all day. Tuesday - Ladies Night with frst free drink, All night specials. Wednesday - Karaoke 7 till’ 11 Thursday - Bike Night All day $1.50 long necks. Donations in the form of cash, check, or Friday - D.J. supplies are gladly accepted. Donations can Saturday/Sunday - Open Bar be left in the Burn Unit or mailed to: (985)466-3488 Biker Friendly/All Welcome Percy R. Johnson Burn Foundation “Come pass a good time on da bayou” 1501 Kings Highway P.O. Box 610-618 Shreveport, LA 71130-3932 RUBBER DOWN MAGAZINE NOVEMBER 2013 PAGE 11



and welded to the battery box, bracket for the new rear fender was made. Brackets for solo saddle was welded after that the frame was powder satin black. The wheels I tore down, hubs powder coated satin black, then I built up the wheels with twisted spokes i! My name is Peter and I live in Sweden and brass nipples and old style tires were mounted. I am 49 years old, and live in a suburb of The fork I tore down and all the brackets were cut HStockholm called Södertälje. I have always away from the triple trees, then I sent all the parts changed and rebuilt bicycles, mopeds, boats, cars and from the fork and all engine covers to Andrea in Italy motorcycles. It has been diffcult to have something for engraving and polishing. The engine is almost un- that no one else has, I have to put my own style on it. touched, what’s done is engraving on all covers, cyl- We have three Harley Davidson in the family now inders are powder coated, special bracket in polished that I have built, the frst one is a FXR Trike to my stainless steel with integrated speedometer to the wife, she has a muscle disease, so she can not run a upper engine mount, and all bolts have brass covers. standard motorcycle. Then I built my Sportster chop- Brass point cover from Indian Larry. The handlebar is per that has been published by many magazines in Biltwells frisco I welded risers for a cleaner look. the United States, England, Germany, Spain, France, I installed an internal throttle and electricity was Austria and Sweden. Last year my wife’s daughter drawn to two mini switches, one in the side of the grip wanted to ride with us, so I built her a Sportster to for high /low light and horn and the brass mount from this season, the only thing she wanted was purple and Kustom Tech Italy a mini switch for turn lights. that there would be a crown somewhere. So that’s All electricity is newly drawn, mini turn signals in how the name “Purple Queen” became about. front and Kellermann Micro 1000 for the rear Reg Her name is Janine Nikula and she is 22 years old. plate was moved down to the left side with a new She is studying music, singing, drama and dance. bracket from powder coated steel and brass. She started to ride a bike late last summer and she All parts were left to Daniel on Air brush studio in got her driving license this summer (2012). She has Stockholm who painted mini fake paint and text. always liked to ride with us and now with her own I have tried to fnd as much brass parts as possible, license and bike, she has been joining us on the roads I think it has been a good combination. The exhaust and bike shows a lot. Janine appreciates her bike and system is made by my friend Kent, Ace Performance thinks it is nice and smooth to drive. “It’s really a and I have rebuilt the muffers with brass trumpets. nice sidekick from the daily life.” Peter Ström My ideas started when I saw Moons Sportster and Stockholm / Sweden thought the style was awesome. I had met on the internet Andrea Gallinaro from Italy who engraves. I like the 70s style engrav- ing, fake paint and gold. So I made a mix from Sportster bobber and 70s chopper. I started with an original Sportster that I tore down completely. I cut away the rear brack- et for the stock fenders and welded new mounts for turn signals, raised the mounting 165 Saint Bridget Drive point for gas tank, cut out and reinforced Schriever, LA the frame in front to make a cleaner look. Home: (985)446-7300 Bracket for the ignition switch was moved Cell: (985)637-3069 RUBBER DOWN MAGAZINE NOVEMBER 2013 PAGE 13

BIKER LIFE Culture and “WHAT IS THE DEFINITION OF BROTHERHOOD” by: Pat “Road Hog” Patterson here are help that day, and I came away righteous, much less bikers. As many view- from what could have been a very I set about cleaning the fuel fl- Tpoints and bad experience with a good feel- ter on my old hog and accepting varying defni- ing and several new friends. These all these friendly waves, an old tions of Brother- guys didn’t need to take time away beat up rat bike pulled up and hood, and most of their weekend of fun to help a stopped. Its rider looked like he them although sounding somewhat biker they didn’t even know, but had been on the road for months different are still on the mark. they were true bikers in the every and the bike looked as though it I have come to a conclusion in my respect and the feeling of Brother- hadn’t ever been cleaned but the many years of being involved in hood just kicked in. Ok while ragged looking biker was the “ this lifestyle that frst and only one it’s kind of like love Its rider looked like he had been on the road for months and the bike to stop and see if and ethics, when looked as though it hadn’t ever been cleaned, but the ragged looking biker he could be of any you truly have it was the frst and only one to stop and see if he could be of any help. ” help. Well I ex- in your life, you’ll we’re on this subject of Brother- plained that it was know it. Kind of like the saying hood and how we have seen some only a clogged fuel flter and I you see on some bike shirts, “If great examples of it, let’s explore was almost done with the job, I have to explain, you wouldn’t the other side of the coin or the this guy said, “Well the side of understand.” I have over the years negative side. I’ll give you one of the road is no place for a biker experienced many examples of my experiences as an example, I to be without at least some mor- true Brotherhood and the very best was on my way to a major bike al support.” So me and the old that the biker lifestyle has to offer. event when the inevitable hap- rugged looking biker fnished One such example stands out in pened, and yes I broke down. Now up my minor repair and rode the my mind and although it happened although a very simple problem rest of the way together, Broth- back in 1993, it remains as vivid of a clogged fuel flter, it could ers in the wind. as if it happened yesterday. I was have been a major malfunction. As I may never see this biker again at a large four day biker event that I sat on the side of the very busy in my lifetime, but you don’t is held yearly and my bike broke interstate highway, multitudes of forget these gifts of Brother- down, well I asked one guy who happy bike riders on their way to hood from true bikers for as happened to be a member of a the very same bike event as myself long as you live. Try passing very large M/C if he had a tool passed by me and offered me on the “Old Ways” by stopping that I had mistakenly left at home. what they probably thought was to help the next biker you see Well it wasn’t long before I had very friendly biker wave and the stopped no the side of the road, enough guys to form a class A pit real biker thing to do. (WRONG) you just might make a friend for crew and one actually loaned me Now I’m sure that some of these life… money to make up for my lack riders that I have just described Until next time “KEEP THE of funds for parts that I needed. that passed me by with a friendly RUBBER DOWN” These guys checked with me often wave, probably consider them- OSB-RoadHog to make sure that I had everything selves as real righteous bikers. Founder under control or if I needed any But the old guys that taught and Brotherhood of Old School Bikers help. I only knew two of the more molded me as a biker would not Loyalty-Honor-Respect then fve or six guys that offered have considered them to be very http://brotherhood-osb.tripod.com RUBBER DOWN MAGAZINE NOVEMBER 2013 PAGE 14

Easy Cheesy Biscuits by Chef Papa Hoo Voo Preheat oven to 400 deg. F In a large bowl combine butter and sour cream till well blended. Next add four and cheese and mix till all is Ingredients combined. It may look like it’s to dry, but trust me, it’s 1cp. Sour Cream not!!! In fact unless you want fat bread, lightly grease a muffn pan and fll with mixture. 1cp. Cheddar cheese (grated) Bake for about 20 minutes or until golden. They will come out so lite and fuffy you won’t believe your taste 2 sticks unsalted Butter softened buds. Until next month, listen to Papa Hoo Doo and eat well, 2cps. Self rising flour. love long, and laugh often ;^{D “WHE RE GOOD FRIE N DS COME TO ME E T” Daily Drink Specials BIKER FRIENDLY, BIKER OWNED Every Sunday (Bike Day) Free Food w/ $2 Domestic & $2.25 Imports 6701 Highway 182-East Morgan City, (985)384-3925 RUBBER DOWN MAGAZINE NOVEMBER 2013 PAGE 15

12. Call fre department to retrieve the damn cat from across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap. 13. Tie the little *&#%^’s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, fnd heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed.. Push pill into mouth followed by How to give a Cat a Pill large piece of flet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down. 1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if 14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to holding a baby. Position right forefnger and thumb on either the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fngers and side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into shop on way home to order new table. mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow. 15. Arrange for RSPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call 2. Retrieve pill from foor and cat from behind sofa. local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process. How to give a Dog a Pill 3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away. 4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding 1. Wrap it in bacon. rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill 2. Toss it in the air. to back of mouth with right forefnger. ___________________________________________ Hold mouth shut for a count of ten. 5. Retrieve pill from goldfsh bowl and cat from top of ward- The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur David- robe. Call spouse from garden. son , died and went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur. 6. Kneel on foor with cat wedged frmly between knees, hold “Since you’ve been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with any- front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get one you want to in heaven.” Arthur thought about it for a minute spouse to hold head frmly with one hand while forcing wooden and then said, “I want to hang out with God.” ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat’s throat vigor- ously. St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him 7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. to God. God recognized Arthur and commented, “Okay, so you Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep were the one who invented the Harley-Davidson motorcycle?” shattered fgurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for Arthur said, “Yeah, that’s me...” God commented, “Well, what’s gluing later. the big deal in inventing something that’s pretty unstable, makes 8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head noise and pollution and can’t run without a road?” Arthur was a just visible from below armpit. bit embarrassed, but fnally spoke, “Excuse me, but aren’t you Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil the inventor of woman?” God said, “Ah, yes.” “Well,” said Ar- and blow down drinking straw. thur, professional to professional, you have some major design 9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 faws in your invention: beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse’s forearm and 1. There’s too much inconsistency in the front-end suspension. remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap. 2... It chatters constantly at high speeds. 10. Retrieve cat from neighbor’s shed. Get another pill. Open 3. Most rear ends are too soft and wobble about too much. another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door onto neck, to 4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust. leave head showing. 5. The maintenance costs are outrageous!!!! Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band. “Hmmmmm, you may have some good points there,” replied 11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back God, “hold on.” God went to his Celestial supercomputer, typed on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. in a few words and waited for the results. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it. tetanus shot. “Well, it may be true that my invention is fawed,” God said to Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back anoth- Arthur, “but according to these numbers, more men are riding er shot. Throw tee shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom. my invention than yours.” RUBBER DOWN MAGAZINE NOVEMBER 2013 PAGE 16

Please, take care of yourself this Holiday Season. A recent joint study conducted by the Department of Health and the Department of Motor Vehicles indicates that 23% of traffc accidents are alcohol related. This means that the remain- ing 77% are caused by assholes who just drink coffee, carbonated drinks, juices, milk, water, and shit like that. There- fore, beware of those who do not drink alcohol. They cause three times as many accidents. This message is sent by someone who cares about your well being. Square Testicles tomorrow morning with my lawyer as a witness.” “No problem”, said This is a joke that is supposed to bring you luck. the president of the Bank confdently. An elderly woman walked into the Royal Bank of Canada one morning That night, the president became very nervous about the bet and spent with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and a long time in front of the mirror examining his testicles, turning them insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she this way and that, checking them over again and again until he was had a lot of money. positive that no one could consider his testicles as square and reassuring After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an himself that there was no way he could lose the bet. employee took the elderly woman to the president’s offce. The next morning at exactly 10 O’clock the elderly woman arrived at The president of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit. the president’s offce with her lawyer and acknowledged the $25,000 She placed her purse on his desk and replied, ‘$165,000’. The presi- bet made the day before that the president’s testicles were square. dent was curious and asked her how she had been able to save so much The president confrmed that the bet was the same as the one made the money . The elderly woman replied that she made bets. day before. Then the elderly woman asked him to drop his pants etc. so The president was surprised and asked, “What kind of bets?” that she and her lawyer could see clearly. The elderly woman replied, “Well, I bet you $25,000 that your testicles The president was happy to oblige. are square.” The elderly woman came closer so she could see better and asked the The president started to laugh and told the woman that it was impos- president if she could touch them. “Of course”, said the president. sible to win a bet like that. “Given the amount of money involved, you should be 100% sure.” The woman never batted an eye. She just looked at the president and The elderly woman did so with a little smile. Suddenly the president said, “Would you like to take my bet?” noticed that the lawyer was banging his head against the wall. He “Certainly”, replied the president. “I bet you $25,000 that my testicles asked the elderly woman why he was doing that and she replied, “Oh, are not square.” it’s probably because I bet him $100,000 that around 10 o’clock in the “Done”, the elderly woman answered. “But given the amount of money morning I would be holding the balls of the President of the Royal Bank involved, if you don’t mind I would like to come back at 10 O’clock of Canada !” 318-969-9130 www.cenlalubricants.com [email protected] We now carry a complete line of motorcycle lubricants. RUBBER DOWN MAGAZINE NOVEMBER 2013 PAGE 17

Continued from page 17 Helga’s Diary on a Cruise Ship DEAR DIARY - DAY 1 All packed for the cruise ship -- all my nicest dresses, swim- suits, short sets. Really, really exciting. Chere’s II Our local Red Hat chapter - The Late Bloomers decided on this “all-girls” trip. It will be my frst one, - and I can’t wait! DEAR DIARY - DAY 2 Entire day at sea, beautiful. Saw whales and dolphins. Met the NOT JUST ANY GENTLEMAN’S CLUB Captain today -- seems like a very nice man. DEAR DIARY - DAY 3 At the pool today. Did some shuffeboard, hit golf balls off the HOME OF THE HONEST SHOT deck. Captain invited me to join him at his table for dinner. Felt honored and had a wonderful time. He is very attractive and 9699 Hwy 182 E attentive. Amelia DEAR DIARY - DAY 4 Won $800.00 in the ship’s casino. Captain asked me to have Monday - Friday 11am till 2 am dinner with him in his own cabin. Had a scrumptious meal complete with caviar and champagne. He asked me to stay the Tuesday Steak Night night, but I declined. Told him I could not be unfaithful to my husband. Thursday Boiled Crawfish DEAR DIARY - DAY 5 Pool again today. Got sunburned, and I went inside to drink at piano-bar, stayed there for rest of day. Captain saw me, bought me several large drinks.Really is quite charming. Again asked 985-631-1000 me to visit his cabin for the night. Again I declined. He told me, if I did not let him have his way with me, he would sink the ship... I was shocked. DEAR DIARY - DAY 6 Today I saved 2600 lives. Twice. Y ou mi ght b e a Bumper-Stickers Seen On Military Bases. “Except For Ending Slavery, Fascism, Nazism and Communism, WAR BIKER if... has Never Solved Anything.” “ U.S. Marines - Certifed Counselors to the 72 Virgins Dating Club.” “ U.S. Air Force - Travel Agents To Allah” 1. YOUR BEST FRIENDS ARE NAMED AFTER “Stop Global Whining” ANIMALS. “When In Doubt, Empty The Magazine” 2. YOUR BEST SHOES HAVE STEEL TOES. “Naval Corollary: Dead Men Don’t Testify.” “The Marine Corps - When It Absolutely, Positively Has To Be De- 3. YOU HAVE MOTORCYCLE PARTS IN YOUR stroyed Overnight” DISHWASHER. “Death Smiles At Everyone - Marines Smile Back” 4. YOUR IDEA OF JEWELRY IS CHAINS AND “Marine Sniper - You can run, but you’ll just die tired!” BARBED WIRE. “What Do I Feel When I Kill A Terrorist? A Little Recoil” “Marines - Providing Enemies of America an Opportunity To Die For 5. YOU CAN TELL WHAT KIND OF BUGS THE ARE BY their Country Since 1775” THE TASTE. “Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Anyone Who Threatens It” 6. YOU’RE ONLY SUNBURNED ON THE BACK OF “Happiness Is A Belt-Fed Weapon” YOUR HANDS AND NECK. “It’s God’s Job to Forgive Bin Laden - It’s Our Job To Arrange The Meeting” 7. YOU KNOW WHERE STURGIS IS. “Artillery Brings Dignity to What Would Otherwise Be Just A Vulgar Brawl” Department of Public safety Motorcycle Operators “One Shot, Twelve Kills - U.S. Naval Gun Fire Support” Training Courses held at various locations statewide. “My Kid Fought In Iraq So Your Kid Can Party In College” Basic course unless otherwise noted. “Machine Gunners - Accuracy By Volume” “A Dead Enemy Is A Peaceful Enemy - Blessed Be The Peacemakers” “If You Can Read This, Thank A Teacher.. If You Can Read It In Eng- FMI Larry Ourso 225-925-6113 Ext 224 lish, Thank A Veteran” Call Larry for the class schedule in your area for applica- “Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a dif- tion. For courses go to ference in the world. But the U.S. ARMED FORCES don’t have that http://www.lsp.org/ problem-”Ronald Reagan RUBBER DOWN MAGAZINE NOVEMBER 2013 PAGE 18

When you get older, words to live by: 1. NEVER pass up a bathroom 2. NEVER pass up an erection. 3. NEVER hold in a fart. I never really liked the term “Old Person” or tip his cap to a lady. Old People trust strangers and are courtly to but this makes me feel better about it. And, if women. you ain’t one, I’ll bet you know one! I got this from an “Old - Old People hold the door for the next person and always, Personal friend of mine”! when walking, make certain the lady is on the inside for protection. - Old People get embarrassed if someone curses in front of women OLD PERSON PRIDE and children and they don’t like any flth or dirty language on TV or in movies. - Old People are easy to spot at sporting events; during the - Old People have moral courage and personal integrity. They sel- playing of the National Anthem. Old People remove their caps dom brag unless it’s about their children or grandchildren. and stand at attention and sing without embarrassment. They - It’s the Old People who know our great country is protected, not know the words and believe in them. by politicians, but by the young men and women in the military serv- - Old People remember World War II, Pearl Harbor , Guadal- ing their country. canal , Normandy and Hitler. They remember the Atomic Age, This country needs Old People with their work ethic, sense of re- the Korean War, The Cold War, the Jet Age and the Moon sponsibility, pride in their country, love of God and decent values. Landing. They remember the 50 plus Peacekeeping Missions We need them now more than ever. from 1945 to 2005, not to mention Vietnam . Thank God for Old People - If you bump into an Old People on the sidewalk he will I was taught to respect my elders. It’s just getting harder to fnd apologize. If you pass an Old Person on the street, he will nod them. Trailer Unlimited of L A . LL C 50006 Hwy. 311 Houma, LA (985)868-0800 For Sales: James Nelton For Rentals: Sarah Vankirk RUBBER DOWN MAGAZINE NOVEMBER 2013 PAGE 19



saturday Nov. 2 & 3 - Military Advocacy Project of LA Salute to the Military. Big Al’s Saloon 1440 WestB.Exp. Harvey LA 8 Bands, Vendors, Kid Friendly 504-231-0266 9 Vets for Vets Biker Event 5th Annual Charity poker Run to Beneft Wounded Warrior Project Fleet Reserve 162 in Gretna 9am. Win Jet Ski, TV, Laptop Call Terry Holland 504-366-4724 16 Green Knights CH 105 Toys 4 Tots An- nual Poker Run in Slidell 23 30 Ram Rods 1 Year Anniversary Party in Houma friday 1 Nov. 1-4 Galveston Lone Star Rally www.lonestarrally.com 8 Nov. 8,9,10 18th An- nual Westwego Cypress Beneft in Shreveport. Swamp Fest. Westwego Farmers Maket 484 Sala Ave., Westwego 504-341-9083 15 22 29 thursday Thanksgiving MARCH 2015 Ride of the Brotherhood www.rideofthebrother- hood.com Ed “Cow- 7 14 21 28 boy” Lewis wednesday 6 13 20 27 MARCH 21-22 2014 11th Annual Ride for Autism Lafay- ette La to Galveston Island Tex. MODEL: Kera Charpentier AGE 48(and proud) BIKE: 2009 Undresser OWNER:Dan Melford PHOTOGRAPHER: Uncle Jerry tuesday Veterans Day Nov. 9 B.A.C.A. Beneft Poker Run Houma LA. (See add in 5 12 19 26 magazine) MONDAY Nov. 2 Carol Blanchard Beneft Poker Run 337-258-1195 in St. Martinville Blue Knights II Poker RunSteve Hux 504-416- 0702 in Metairie 4 11 18 25 sunday 10 My Hearts Desire and Vietnam War Dogs Memorial Honor Viet- nam Vets Diane Baker 985-856-7234 Houma, Nov. 2 Baton Rouge Harley-Davidson Swap Meet 5853 Seigan Lane 9am to 4 pm Free/ Must bring own table. Used 225-292-9632 3 LA 17 24 parts only

TRIBUTE To Lady Bikers athryn, a Regis- tered Nurse, never Kthought she would be a motorcyclist at the age of 58. She thought back to when she was a young teenager. She had ridden with some crazy friends throwing caution to the wind. As she matured she realized how fragile life was and preferred less adventurous means of travel. Kathryn explained how she had spent some time with some old friends and they had taken her for rides. She re- ally enjoyed the freedom of riding. It wasn’t long before she had the desire to ride her own bike. She enrolled in a Riders Edge course for Motorcycles. The instructors were excellent and was a skilled rider before long. She is a Harley girl and loves her purple and black Photos by Bruce LeBlanc 2011 Harley Softail Deluxe. Its a magnifcent piece of machinery that she named “BLING” . Kathryn smiles as she explains how she is always looking for new shinny Harley accessories to add to her bike. Kathryn admits she has become somewhat of a Chrome-a-holic (if there is such a thing). Kathryn has noticed lots of other women who have moved from the back seat to the controls of there own bike. She has met so many wonderful people who share the same passions of motorcycling. Kathryn is an active member of M.AC. (Motorcycle Awareness Campaign) whose mission is to remind all motorists to look for Motorcycles. Kathryn turned 60 recently, she spoke of a future trip 4305 Westbank Expy. Marrero with friends to Arkansas. which will be her longest distance on a bike. Kathryn is looking forward to set- (504)341-6781 ting more milestones on her great adventures riding her Harley.We wish Kathryn Safe travels for many -Hours- years to come. 3 to 10 Mon. to Thurs. If you would like to be featured in our lady biker column, please send us a photo of yourself wih your bike and a short 100-150 3 to Midnight Fri & Sat. word write up and we will consider it for insertion. Please no vulgar poses or lack of clothing, this is a family magazine that all [email protected] ages can enjoy. RUBBER DOWN MAGAZINE NOVEMBER 2013 PAGE 22

PASTOR RODOLFO RODRIGUEZ Tou sal have no gods befor me. Exodus 20 The Bible Vs. Cellphones Ever wonder what would happen if we treated our Bible like we treat our cell phone? What if we carried it around in our purses or pockets? What if we fipped through it several times a day? What if we turned back to go get it if we forgot it? What if we used it to receive messages from the text? What if we treated it like we couldn’t live without it? What if we gave it to Kids as gifts? What if we used it when we traveled? What if we used it in case of emergency? This is something to make you go....hmm...where is my Bible? Oh, and one more thing. Unlike our cell phone, we don’t have to worry about our Bible being disconnected because Jesus already paid the bill. Makes you stop and think ‘where are my priorities? And no dropped calls! When Jesus died on the cross, he was thinking of you! A.S.A.P. means “Always Say A Prayer” Please do not break. Just 32 words, “God our Father, If it is your will, walk through my house and take away all my worries and ill- nesses and please watch over and heal my family in Jesus name, Amen.” RUBBER DOWN MAGAZINE NOVEMBER 2013 PAGE 23

Continued from page 23 Hmmmm, I don’t like to gossip, but I heard the Father telling the Son to tell the Holy Spirit to tell the Angels to protect you today, tonight and always! It’s in the Word. Ssshhh...Just say AMEN ! Parts ATV’s Accessories Cruisers GOOD GOSSIP FROM ABOVE IS THE GREATEST WORD OF ALL. Service Work Sportbikes Look back and thank God. 153 N. Hollywood Rd. Look forward and trust God. Houma, LA 70364 Look around and serve God. Look within and fnd God!” Paul Miller Owner PH (985)879-4364 [email protected] Who wouldn’t forward it!!! God closes doors no man can open and FAX (985)879-4153 motorcyclespecialties.net God opens doors no man can close. We stock over 120 tires and our prices are Without God our week would be: discounted every day. Sinday, Mournday, We stock over 30 tires specifically for Tearsday, Harley Davidsons. Wasteday, Thirstday, Fightday and Shatterday. Have a Blessed Day, my friend. Monday - Sunday Happy Hour 5PM-7PM Monday-Sunday Happy Hour 5PM-7PM Domestic Long Necks $1.50 Monday Night Men’s Night $1.50 Domestic Beer Free Pool Tuesday: Military Appreciation Day 50% Discount for all who Visit us on Facebook: serve or have served in the Military Biker Owned and Operated Friday Night DJ Karaoke 9PM-Till’ Bubba & Tammy Smith 6271 West Main Street Houma, la 70359 (985)-223-0031 RUBBER DOWN MAGAZINE NOVEMBER 2013 PAGE 24

On the battlefeld, the military pledges to leave no soldier behind. As a nation, let it be our pledge that when they return home, we leave no veteran behind. -Dan Lipinski www.va.org Benefts: 1-800-827-1000 Health Care: 1-877-222-8387 VA Inspector General: 1-800-488-8244 Veterans Crisis Line: 1-800-273-8255 Press 1