Supporter Newsletter 04 - March 2023

The People of Life Supporter Newsletter The Mum Edition The challenges and rewards of motherhood International Women's Day Celebrating Mother's Day MARCH / 23

CONTENTS Staff spotlight 4 Volunteer spotlight 6 What does motherhood mean to you? 7 Industry news 8 Opportunities with Life 10 Life highlights - Overcoming the odds 12 Fundraising spotlight 16 Save & Support 18 2

WELCOME As I sit in my friend’s kitchen writing, I stop to take in what motherhood is and how it looks so incredibly different for all of us. I’m one of five other mums in the room. We're all busy working mums who are juggling meetings on our laptops with motherhood in our hearts and heads, as the chaos unfolds around us. A preschooler dashes from her seat at the table to the couch, scattering crumbs as she runs to watch Peppa Pig. A 17-year-old teenager the size of a grown man then appears and raids the fridge, whilst his younger 14-year-old sister scrolls through social media on her phone. Another friend asks me my opinion on how to fit in work hours around her grown-up kids with university, jobs, and family life. I have no idea; I’m not there yet! My three children are, thankfully, still at school and, for this brief moment, aren’t asking me for a lift to the cinema, requesting craft activities, or pawing me with sticky fingers! Being a mother can look different for us all. We can give birth to our children, adopt them, or have lost them, but we are mothers. Our children are little for so short a time, as are our grandchildren, and the memories of the ones we have or have lost stay with us. Forever. No matter what motherhood looks like for you or someone you love, I hope that this week and Mother's Day give you an opportunity to reflect on what motherhood means and to do something special. Maybe check out our new Save & Support feature on page 18? This will give you some ideas from our online shop for how to spoil a special mother in your life! Being a mother is a hard job, and that's what makes it so rewarding. And, just in case no one has told you this week … you’re doing great! Have a wonderful Mother’s Day on 19 March! Hannah Batten x Supporter Engagement Officer 3

STAFF SPOTLIGHT Meet Karen Proudlock (Life’s Director of Housing), a working mum and nanny who manages Life’s supported housing. What kind of mother would your friends describe you as?  I asked my boys and my grandchildren this question and received the following feedback:  Grandchildren: They said I was a good nanny because I let them do what they want and give them food.  Boys: Said I was a good mum because I am loving and caring. Although sometimes I can be over-friendly with people I have just met, which can be embarrassing, and I ask a lot of questions.  What is your best memory of being a mother?  Having five boys there are too many memories and many more to come. However, I love nothing more than when any of my boys talk to me about what is going on in their lives and choose to share their thoughts, feelings, and experiences with me. It makes me smile inside to know I have a relationship of mutual trust, respect, and love.  What is your most treasured possession? (You don't have to say your kids!)  I'm not really attached to possessions, but what I most value in my life are my family and friends. They're the best and the worst at times! But I couldn't get by without them.   If you could have any mum super-power, what would you have?  Invisibility so when the boys are asking for lifts, money, or anything else they desire at that particular moment in time they go and ask their dad!  4

What's the most disgusting thing you've seen or experienced as a mum?   The time my middle child was around two (now 20) was potty training. His two older brothers were playing a game called Operation Brain Surgery where you have to pull out items from the head before the buzzer goes off. They were having the best time until one of them pulled out a big poo, screamed, and dropped it on the floor. The dog swiftly came up behind him and ate it. The boys still remind their brother of this story with great delight now!  Who would play you in the film of your life?  It would have to be Zooey Deschanel. I think she’s a great actress. The characters she plays, and her style, is how I'd like to be portrayed. I love the fact she supports scripts and producers that she likes and is passionate about, and doesn’t just chase the money and the big names (although she is very rich!).  How do you relax?  Relax? What is that!? I'm not sure any mums truly get to relax. However, it's easier, now the boys are a bit older, to do things I enjoy that don't involve the children, such as watching trashy TV, spending time with friends, or spending longer in bed in the mornings at a weekend. Which animal would your kids describe you as? This question was interesting and was debated well when I asked them. Some suggestions were made, such as elephant (due to my memory not size ... although this was laden with sarcasm as my memory isn't great), a cat (just because we have cats), or a bird (because they are cute). But the winning one was a hyena because they are sociable and work together with others to solve problems. They put their children first and they are persistent. I have to say this made me smile and rethink the whole favourites debate!   5

VOLUNTEER SPOTLIGHT Vicki Doherty Life has two charity shops felt she needed something she said, “One day a lady in the Derby Intu Shopping to do that got her out of came into our superstore Centre, right next to each the house and kept her asking for children’s items. other. One sells children's occupied. Vicki saw that I informed her that our clothing; the other is the Life Shop needed Children’s Shop was next a superstore selling volunteers, spoke to the door. The lady walked everything else. Shop Manager Lorraine, out of the Shop through and was invited into the one door, only to come We couldn't keep our shop for an induction. back in through the other stores open without the door, thinking it was a vital work that our 126 Vicki enjoys her different shop!” (The charity retail volunteers volunteering so much Derby superstore has two do. They become part she does three mornings entrances). of a family in the Life per week. She often gets Shops, ensuring they called in to do extra hours. Vicki got her own flat in are well-stocked, well- In fact, recently has been 2014. Prior to that, she merchandised, and that covering in Life's Derby lived with her auntie, our customers get great Children’s Shop so it can uncle, and cousins. When customer service. Some extend its opening hours. Vicki is not volunteering of our volunteers have for us she enjoys listening expertise in merchandising Vicki spends most of to music, visiting family, and window displays, her time with us serving and going out with her testing electrical items for customers (customer friends. us to sell, and scanning service), putting items books and media for our out onto the shop floor We would like to say a online shop. (merchandising), and huge \"thank you!\" to Vicki sorting and steaming and all our wonderful Vicki has been items (stock selection and volunteers in Life. Without volunteering for our Derby presentation). you, we would not be able Shop for an incredible 11 to deliver support and years. Her journey with Life When I asked Vicki if she services to thousands began in 2012. Vicki had had any funny stories from of women and their just finished college and her time volunteering, children each year. Your work really does make a difference! 6

WHAT DOES MOTHERHOOD MEAN TO YOU? Life's Support Workers are Janice Impey Emma Freebairn some of our passionate Being a mum and nanny Being a mother starts frontline staff who provide is the best feeling ever. with a heartbeat deep in practical, emotional, and Seeing my children mature your belly and a longing wellbeing support to the into adults and achieving to see and hold and smell mums and babies in our 18 so many good things in your baby, but from the Life Houses. We asked our life, seeing their children moment the cord is cut, Support Workers, \"What learn and grow is amazing. mothering is like trying does motherhood mean My youngest grandson (20 to stop a runaway train. to you?\" months) is so cute I could The love grows deeper eat him; he just melts my every day, while the space Hayley Eastwood heart! between you gets bigger Being a mum means and bigger. A tangible everything and more – Nicola Short sense of sadness at the seeing him smile lights Being a mum is the most time gone starts to creep up the world like nothing incredible gift you could in. Until one day you have else! Watching him learn ask for. It can be rewarding to stand right back and is amazing and sometimes as well as challenging at give your greatest treasure, the feeling of love is times. You don't always this gift that you have overwhelming! know if you're doing the loved and nurtured, to the right thing, but in the end world. Motherhood takes a Fiona Sanderson you always work it out. megaphone to each of your For me, being a mum is Watching them learn and emotions ringing out with an incredible gift. You get grow and be the most a rawness you didn’t know to watch the little people amazing person they can you could feel. Sadness, you created and love more be is the best feeling ever! fear, loneliness, grief, than anything in this world boredom all sideline you develop into loving, kind, \"Sometimes when you least expect it, beautiful human beings. but the joy, the pure sweet the feeling joy, and the love is what keeps mothers going.   of love is Rio Waldock overwhelming!\" To me, being a mum means everything. My daughter is my world and pushes me to be a better version of myself. The love you feel for your child or children cannot be matched. The best thing to ever happen to me was motherhood.   7

INDUSTRY can be, are also rewarding NEWS beyond measure because of how challenging they are. INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY This International Women’s Day, we think of equity INTERNATIONAL hot-topic issues and have in terms of parenthood WOMENS DAY attracted strong opinions, and adoption. We want to particularly about the topic make sure that, for every Wednesday 8 March is of social justice. pregnancy, parenthood International Women’s Day or adoption are at least which celebrates women all However, at Life, we see as viable an option as an over the world! a different perspective: abortion is. When we create equality and equity applied that equitable world – which This year’s theme to women’s decisions about requires journeying with is #EmbraceEquity. their pregnancy. women, in radical solidarity International Women’s Day – we’ll find that the demand says that, while equality When pregnant, a woman for abortion reduces and means each person or has three options: more women will freely group of people is given parenthood, adoption, or choose motherhood or the same opportunities, abortion. She can only adoption. equity recognises that we’re choose one, and she has all different and allocates a limited amount of time And that’s a world worth the right resources and to make her decision. striving for. opportunities to ensure So these three options equal opportunities. are always considered We want to make compared to each other. Equity and equality are A decision for abortion is sure that, for saying that parenthood 8 or adoption aren’t viable every pregnancy, options, and so the only choice left is to have an parenthood or abortion. adoption are at No one ‘likes’ abortion; most people recognise it as least as viable a form of pregnancy loss and that it can be one of the an option as an most upsetting experiences anyone has to go through. abortion is. On the other hand, most people recognise that parenthood and adoption, challenging though they

PRINCESS EUGENIE PREGNANT WITH SECOND CHILD Princess Eugenie The baby will be born announced she is expecting 13th in line to the British her second child with throne and will be the husband Jack Brooksbank first of the Queen’s great- by sharing a family grandchildren to be born photograph of her son since her death, and August kissing her belly in will arrive in the King’s January. Prince Andrew and coronation year. Sarah Ferguson’s daughter is expecting the new arrival “The family are delighted in the summer which has and August is very much brought delight throughout looking forward to being Buckingham Palace, who a big brother.” have issued a statement sharing their delight at the news: “The family are delighted and August is very much looking forward to being a big brother.” Eugenie wrote: “We are excited to share that there will be a new addition to our family this summer.” MOTHER’S DAY Sunday 19 March is Mothering Sunday, or what many refer to simply as “Mother’s Day.” It’s a celebration honouring the mothers as well as motherhood, maternal bonds, and the influence of mothers within society. 9

OPPORTUNITIES WITH LIFE Your opportunity to join the team creating a world where no one faces pregnancy or pregnancy loss alone. (And, if you know someone who wants to be on the team, let them know about these roles!) HR MANAGER • £35,000 per year from National Office. • 35 hours per week. • Closes 17 March 2023. Main purposes of the job Develop, implement and monitor HR strategies and initiatives aligned with both the Central Services and overall business strategy. Provide HR advisory support and advice for all Life employees. Support and advise on all matters relating to HR policy, procedure, required standards, and legal obligations. Bridge management and employee relations by addressing departmental demand and need. Manage onboarding and offboarding of all Life employees. Support current and future business needs through development, engagement, motivation, and preservation of people investment. Oversee and manage both performance and absence management systems, processes, and caseloads. Key skills • CIPD Level 5 • Extensive employment knowledge • Experience of HR policy implementation • Excellent attention to detail • Previous experience of dealing with complex employee cases • Demonstrate competency in managing heavy case loads • Self-motivated, enthusiastic and an ability to prioritise • Excellent written and verbal skills For more information and to apply, go to lifecharity.org.uk/jobs 10

LIFE TRUSTEE • Voluntary position. • Closes 31 March 2023. If you're passionate about Life’s work, you may be interested in joining Life as a Trustee. It is an exciting time for Life, having just emerged from a transformational change programme. Last year we served 45,000 people who were facing pregnancy or pregnancy loss. This is only the beginning: we are looking to significantly increase our impact over the next few years. As part of this ambition, we are recruiting new Trustees to help lead Life through this period of growth. We are especially keen to recruit new Trustees with experience in: • Finance • Fundraising • HR and training • Income generation • IT and systems • Service users • Marketing If you would like to apply, please submit your CV (including names and contact details of two referees) and a covering letter of no more than two pages explaining why you are interested in this role and the contribution you think you could make to Life as a Trustee. Please submit your application either: (1) By post marked ‘Confidential’ for the attention of Kerry Smart, Chief Executive Officer, Life, Unit 4, Tancred Close, Leamington Spa, Warwickshire, CV31 3RZ or; (2) By email to [email protected]. uk If you would like further information about becoming a charity trustee, this can be found on the Charity Commission website. Further information about Life can be found on our website at: lifecharity.org.uk 11

OVERCOMING THE ODDS Today, we shine a light on mums who have overcome the odds and chosen life. Cassie* shares her experience of finding Life and the difference we made to her and her child. I became pregnant through Only a couple of months in adding to my increasing a short-lived abusive, and my life and pregnancy problems. I knew I didn’t coercive, and non- had become too much. I want to be pregnant and consensual relationship. had been asked to leave that I didn’t have the the home I was living in. stability to bring a child My outlook on life back This meant packing up and into this world … but then I then was bleak. On top moving halfway across couldn’t even bring myself of this, I was in spiralling the country to live with my to commit to terminating debt, staying with a family mum; it also left my job the pregnancy. friend without a permanent hanging in the balance. address, and struck down I was terrified as I knew After receiving that by my poor mental health. that I would no longer be counselling, I searched receiving wages or entitled high and low online \"I thought the to maternity pay and yet for the answers to my only way out was I had increasing debt conflicting questions, to terminate the defaults. which led me to Life. I felt pregnancy.\" dread and hopelessness With my head in a spin, at every avenue but I decided that the only decided to give them a call way out for me was to regardless. terminate my pregnancy. I called the clinic and This one call changed received their 'counselling'. everything for me. I But this only ended up spoke with one of the Life 12 *Client name changed to protect identity.

listeners for as long as I experience that life \"One call needed. She listened, she sometimes throws changed let me cry, and she let me us these unexpected everything discuss every dark corner curveballs, where we for me ... of my mind. In return I don’t think we can cope. Support received empowerment, But once we’re through is there to encouragement and to the other side, we find help you.\" warmth from her. I felt out that these curveballs understood from every actually contain the most 13 angle and she gave me beautiful surprises. things to do to tackle my overwhelming fears. I would urge anyone who is struggling, feeling After this call, I was able confused, or worried to to rationalise my thoughts please give Life a call and better. As sessions went just like me, receive a on, the scary thoughts warm and friendly listening of \"what if?\", \"I won’t ear, without any judgment. be able to give this child a good life\", and Please don’t let fear of the \"I can’t do this\" started unknown fuel your future to slowly break away and just know that you and I could finally see don’t have to go through a more harmonious this alone - support is way forwards with my there to help you. pregnancy.  The obstacles throughout my pregnancy weren’t always easy but Life were constantly on hand to offer me further support and to ease my situational worries, even down to helping me with nursery items. Three years later and I am now a mother to the most beautiful little boy. Our lives are positive and bright. He is by far the greatest gift I could have ever been given and he has definitely aided my healing journey in every way. The unborn child who I once feared has now grown in to my most precious treasure. I’ve learnt from my

Can you give hope to life? Leaving a gift in your Will is a wonderful way to support our pregnancy support services in the future We are therefore launching our legacy campaign this year. This opportunity provides a unique and personal moment for you to consider how to help secure the long-term sustainability of our charity. By leaving a restricted gift, you can choose to support an aspect of Life’s vital work that really matters to you – offering support to pregnant women, new mothers and their families. Unrestricted legacies are equally valuable to us. You are not expected to provide the details of your plans, but it would just be helpful to know that you intend to make a pledge or this is something that you have done already. A new brochure is now available giving a step by step guide on Will writing and what you need to think about. Please provide the Fundraising Team with your contact details and we will send you a copy via PDF or post. They can be contacted at [email protected] Alternatively, you can speak direct to Matt Feeley, our new National Fundraising Officer. He would be happy to talk through all the options with you – please write to him at [email protected] to make an appointment. Help us to always be there for anyone facing pregnancy or pregnancy loss 14

New products, discounted prices! 15 Shop online to support Life! store.lifecharity.org.uk

FUNDRAISING SPOTLIGHT Afternoon Tea by Derby Friends of Life As spring approaches, why not celebrate new life with a delicious afternoon tea, just like our Derby Friends of Life did? On Sunday 4 December, the Derby Friends of Life hosted a Christmas Afternoon Tea at Our Lady of Lourdes Parish Centre in Mickleover to raise funds for Life. Over 130 people enjoyed homemade sandwiches, scones, mince pies, and a wide variety of cakes. A fantastic amount of over £1,700 was raised from ticket sales, donations, and a raffle.  Many thanks go to Barbara Gadsby and all who made the event such a success, including Fr. Jonathan for the use of the centre, all who donated food and raffle prizes, and all friends and volunteers from the Derby shop who helped serve and wash up. Our Friends of Life network continues to support the women and children we help. Every donation helps us create a world where no one faces pregnancy or pregnancy loss alone. If you would like to host an afternoon tea for Life, please email us to request a fundraising pack at: [email protected] 16

Did you know that: You can gain a nationally recognised and accredited counselling qualification with Life! Life is a centre of excellence delivering NCFE Level 2 Counselling Skills Qualification, with Level 3 coming soon. Benefits for you include: » Boosting your CV » Honing your listening skills » Accelerating your career development All while raising much needed funds for our services Scan here to find out more and enrol learn.lifecharity.org.uk 17

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SAVmoEney & SUPPORLiTfe's work Save your pennies by finding a bargain and support our mission by shopping in Life's onine store Iur store is flled with great brands at bargain prices, perfect for treating mum! 19

Made by everyone at Life lifecharity.org.uk Life, Unit 4, Tancred Close, Leamington Spa, CV31 3RZ. Registered Charity No (England and Wales): 1128355, (Scotland): SC041329. Registered Limited Company No: 06786752.