December 2022 Newsletter

December 2022 Volume 25 Issue 1 Learn Laugh Live Crewe & Nantwich u3a Newsletter Contents Page 2 Chair’s Message Page 17 Shakespeare Page 3 Quiz Page 19 Group Spotlight Page 4 Georgian Entertain. Page 20 SAT group Page 8 Poet’s Corner Page 21 Old Hill Billy Wisdom Page 12 Copse Garden Page 22 Quiz Answers Page 14 Schooldays (3) Page 23 Nominations The 28th Annual General Meeting -Wednesday 8th March 2023 at 10.00am. Venue: New Life Church, Fuller Drive, Crewe, CW2 6TH Please make every effort to attend. It’s your members’ meeting to influence the development and pro- gress of your U3A There is no Speaker this year. AGENDA 1 Minutes of the 27th AGM held online on 9th March 2022 2 Matters Arising 3 Chairman's Report 4 Treasurer's Report 5 Election of Officers and Committee members 7 Appointment of Examiner of Accounts 8 Any Other Business 9 Date of the next AGM - Wednesday 6th March 2024 at the New Life Church, Fuller Drive, Crewe, CW2 6TH Tea and coffee will be served prior to the meeting at 9.30 a.m. please join us. See Inside Back page for nominations form.

Chair’s Christmas Message 2 Dear Members, This will be my last Christmas Newsletter message, as my three year term as Chair comes to an end in March. Also this will be the first Christmas since 2019 that we have not been con- strained by the restrictions and fears around the spread of Covid 19 and its variations. We all have unhappy memories of having to meet close family members in cold car parks to exchange Christmas presents and stocking up on lateral flow tests (remember them?) before going out to any social gath- ering. On the u3a front, most groups are meeting face to face again, and although a small number of our members remain cautious about attending larger gatherings, the majority are back in business, enjoying the resumption of group activities. The outlook for Crewe and Nantwich u3a is good. Our finances are sound; the increase in the levy rate has allowed us to cover our outgoings and show a small surplus, although we still do not know the extent of the likely increase in venue hire charges in the new year as energy costs burgeon. Our membership numbers now exceed 1400, which is above 2019 levels. On Wednesday November 23rd we held a welcome meeting for 30 new members, who have joined our u3a since September 2022. We want to en- courage our new members to join groups and generally engage with all our u3a activities – many will serve as the next generation of Group Leaders and Committee Members, which will be to the benefit of all of us. I hope that you will all have a happier and more sociable Christmas season this year than in the previous two years, and also that many of you will sign up for the u3a Christmas Tea with Music that is planned for December 16th at the Memorial Hall (as detailed in my email to members on Monday De- cember 21st and on the u3a website). Thank you all, for continuing to support Crewe and Nantwich u3a with such enthusiasm and loyalty. All of us on the u3a Committee would like to wish you a very happy Christmas and a peaceful, healthy and fulfilling 2023. Regards, Judith Ross A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my fa- ther hadn't left me a fortune?' 'Darling,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, no matter who left you a fortune!' George Jones

Winter Quiz (Answers on Page 22) 3 1. What is the three letter Japanese word for a sash or belt used to se- cure traditional garments? 2. Which famous 19th century woman was nicknamed the 'Lady of the lamp'? 3. Which US state is also the name of a traditional Province in Northern France? 4. The name of which metal, also known as wolfram, means \"heavy stone\"? 5. Translated, the name of which distilled beverage means \"little water\"? 6. Which famous artist was often photographed with his pet ocelot? 7. Which two months are named after Roman Emperors? 8. Which device is used to measure atmospheric pressure? 9. What is the largest number of five digits? 10. What is the name of the secretion that surrounds the larvae of develop- ing queen bees? 11. Which French word can be a sheer fabric or a light cake? 12. The King Protea is the national flower of which African country? 13. What is both a French wine region and an American automobile? 14. Who was the longest serving royal consort in history? 15. Hippo is the ancient Greek word for which animal? Barrie & Ann-Marie Lloyd U3A Quiz Group A lady was looking over her fence and saw the little girl next door filling in a hole in her lawn, which made her curious. Sheila, what are you doing? The little girl replied that she was burying her goldfish, which had died. The lady was a little perplexed and stated that it seemed a rather large hole for a gold- fish? The reply was ‘That's because it’s inside your cat’. Paddy went Into a pub, with a skinny little African by his side, and the bar- man said to Paddy ‘Is this guy with you?’ Oh yes sir, I went to the doctor’s last week and he told me I had to have a pacemaker so I’ve got this Ethiopi- an. George Jones

Georgian Entertainment (1760 - 1820) 4 During the Georgian period a host of entertainments were available to those seeking relief from their everyday routines. Theatre The eighteenth century was the great age of the theatre. In London and the provinces, large purpose-built auditoriums were built to house the huge crowds that flocked nightly to see plays and musical performances. A variety of enter- tainments were on offer, from plays and ballets to rope-walkers and acrobats. London's Drury Lane, Covent Garden and the Hay- market theatres all prospered during this period, which by the 1760s could now seat several thou- sand people each. This was also the age of the first 'celebrity' actors: David Garrick, for example, who was mobbed by fans wherever he travelled in Lon- don. Theatre-going was a very different experience from that of today. Theatre audiences could be rude, noisy and dangerous. Alcohol and food was consumed in great quantities, while people frequently arrived late and left early throughout the duration of the performance. Audiences chatted amongst themselves, and sometimes pelted actors with rotten fruit and vegetables. Others demanded that popular tunes be played over and over again. James Boswell described how he “mooed’ like a cow during one particularly bad play, to the great amusement of his companions. Rioting at theatres was also not uncommon. The Drury Lane theatre in London, for example, was destroyed by rioting on six occa- sions during the period. Audiences were a mixture of both rich and poor, and sat in different parts of the theatre depending on whether they could afford cheap, or expensive tickets. 'Persons of quality' were seated in boxes placed alongside the stage, while work- ing men and women were squeezed into hot and dirty galleries. At the front of the stage, young men would drink together, eat nuts and mingle with prostitutes down below in the notorious 'pit'. (Cont)

5 Pleasure Gardens Like the theatre, pleasure gardens were the great melting pots of 18th- century society. In London pleasure gardens in particular, were incredibly successful. The first opened in 1746, Ranelagh pleasure gardens in Chelsea boasted acres of formal gardens with long sweeping avenues, which pedes- trians strolled together on balmy summer evenings. Other visitors came to admire the Chinese Pa- vilion, or to watch the fountain of mirrors, or to attend musical concerts held in the great 200- foot wide Rotunda. Novelist Tobias Smollett described how the nightly illuminations and magic lanterns at Ranelagh 'made me almost think I was in some enchanted castle or fairy palace'. Originally designed to appeal to wealthier tastes, pleasure gardens soon became visited by rich and poor alike: both aristocrats and tradesmen enjoyed the entertainments side by side. The en- trance price to Vauxhall gardens was just one shilling throughout the century and therefore remained affordable to most people. On one occasion in 1769, 12,000 people arrived at Vauxhall gardens to watch Handel rehearse his Fireworks Music. Elsewhere in London, people drank tea, or just strolled to- gether to smaller private venues, of which there were over sixty by the sec- ond half of the century. Most provincial towns also boasted their own pleas- ure gardens that were often modelled on the most fashionable London attrac- tions. Fairs In most towns across the country, fairs and traditional holidays remained im- portant parts of the yearly calendar. Wakes were traditional fairs linked to lo- cal saints' or feast days, while other fairs accompanied markets and civic cel- ebrations. Many fairs lasted for a week or more, and were attended by thou- sands of people, who hurried to attend them from across the surrounding ar- ea. Most fairs were more than simple markets. Bar- tholomew Fair was by far the largest and most spectacular event of its kind, and was the scene of much public excitement. Held in London every September for four days, the thousands of visi- tors who went there could witness dozens of en- tertainments and spectacles: tumbling, acrobat- ics and tightrope walking, for example, or exhibi- tions of exotic animals, boxing competitions, puppet shows and displays of human strength. (Cont)

Fairs were also the scene of much eating and drinking. There were dozens o6f 'booths' selling a vast array of foods, such as gingerbread, nuts, puddings, sausages and hot pies to the huge crowds. Vast quantities of alcohol were consumed there, which was a great cause concern at times, when the situa- tion got out of hand. Curiosities, exhibitions and crazes Exhibitions of curiosities regularly drew large crowds of fascinated sightseers. Up and down the Strand in London, exhibitions of imported exotic animals could be seen in taverns and assembly rooms: birds and monkeys from Afri- ca. Other animals were trained to perform tricks for the amusement of the general public. At the end of the century, the famous 'performing pig' became famous across the country for its apparent ability to spell, while elsewhere one could watch trained bees or birds obey human commands. Human curiosities proved just as exciting to the public. For decades, Lon- don's hospital for the insane - Bethlehem, or Bedlam - attracted queues of gawping sightseers, who were eager to watch the behaviour of inmates af- flicted with mental illnesses. But other human curiosities were also available. Giants, midgets, the obese, natives of foreign countries, and a host of suffer- ers of various medical conditions were all put on display to the public, who were willing to pay a few pennies to see the latest offerings. Scientific spectacles also attracted wide- spread public interest. In 1784 the first manned hot air balloon flight was made in England by an Italian aviator, Vincenzo Lunardi, whose appearance over the roof- tops of London caused a sensation. From that point on, regular balloon flights brought crowds of several thousand on- lookers whenever take-offs were ex- pected, and 'balloonomania' swept right across the country. Blood sports Animal baiting and organised blood sports remained extremely popular dur- ing the eighteenth century. Bull baiting was one such example, in which an animal was tied to a stake as dogs were sent in to attack, while a cheering and expectant crowd watched from the sidelines. Many provincial towns had specific bull-rings built for this purpose, and baitings often took place in busy market places or town squares. Badgers and bears were also occasionally used in this manner. (Cont)

7 Alternatively, bull-running was often organ- ised in towns. Angry bulls were sometimes set free in the streets, and pursued from place to place by crowds of excited specta- tors. Cock-fighting was also popular amongst all the social classes. Large crowds gathered at custom-built cockpits in order to watch spe- cially reared birds fight one another to the death. Two birds were fitted with sharpened spurs on each leg while huge bets were placed on them. These spectacles could be particularly vicious. After attending a cockfight in 1762, James Boswell noted how the birds fought with 'amazing bitterness and resolution' to the very end. The popularity of many blood-sports began to disappear by the end of the century. They became less frequent, due to changing attitudes to animal rights. Animal baiting was eventually made illegal by Parliament early in the 1800s. David Cooke Father Murphy looked uneasy as he attempted to greet the wedding guests at the entrance to St Bernadette’s Church. He doesn’t say much and he looks uncomfortable but the congregation know him to be a bit shy. As the bride arrives, Father Murphy makes his way to the altar and, as the couple approach, he gives the best speech anyone has ever heard. Not only is it an excellent speech, full of wisdom and insight but he appears to be confident and he has everyone rolling on the floor laughing. After the couple have made their vows and everyone is leaving, Father Murphy steps down from the altar and once again he becomes tongue-tied and shy and barely manages to say a word to anyone. Feeling a little sorry for him, the groom says, “I hope you don’t mind me ask- ing Father, but why are you so shy now? You seemed like a different person when you were up there giving that speech earlier.“ “I know“, Father Murphy responded, “but that was just my altar ego.” Barrie LLoyd

Poet’s Corner 8 My Poem for St Bernadette by Maureen Sawtell Go and see your Lady, St Bernadette Keeping your promise, fifteen visits to go. Where the river flows. Go and see your Lady, St Bernadette Remembering her message so the world will never forget Where the river flows. Many thousands of pilgrims will visit the Grotto Kneeling at Our Lady’s feet in supplication. Overflowing hearts will implore her help Desperate for peace and her protection. It was not always such a beautiful plot Rocky caves and the riverbank made a desolate spot Where Bernadette and her siblings gathered their wood Never imagining her future and the immeasurable good. Often sick, this small, shy and unassuming girl Missed school as needed at home, the eldest of nine. And yet Our Lady chose her to give her message to the world To be the founder of this most beloved shrine. At sixteen, Bernadette entered the convent at Nevers And spent the rest of her short life tending the poor and the sick. But the spirit and inspiration of this poor miller’s daughter Live on through the power of prayer and the healing spring water. Go and see your Lady, St Bernadette Keeping your promise, fifteen visits to go. Where the river flows. Go and see your Lady, St Bernadette Remembering her message so the world will never forget Where the river flows. St Bernadette pray for us, pray for me. Written for the pilgrimage to Lourdes from Our Lady of the Immaculate Con- ception Roman Catholic Church, Crewe. 29 July - 4 August 2022,

CONFLICT Should you hold on to the grudge 9 It starts to vegetate, You are wrong and I am right It grows and grows inside you, There’s nothing more to say. And in time turns to hate. Black is black and white is white, “But what about the grey?” I’ve heard it said “I hate someone.” You have to give some leeway Now that I very much doubt, And not be so outspoken, As even to begin to hate We have to find a compromise You must know them inside out. So the impasse can be broken. You’re not known for backing down, But we all have our prejudice And what you say is trite, That’s no revelation, There’s only one way this can go But it can easily turn to hate It’ll end up in a fight. By active discrimination. We must come to a conclusion, We’ve one of two to choose Not to agree with a way of life, The better one’s a win-win, In that there is no shame. But you want win and lose. But we must respect each other So if and when you compromise, Because we’re all the same. But didn’t want to budge, Don’t let it lie and fester Strip away our clothes and skin, ‘Til it turns into a grudge. Tell me what you find. Let’s keep talking to each other, And open up our mind. Tim Lloyd Writing For Pleasure. Pleasurable Writing Leisurely Reveals Entertaining Innermost Authoritative Thoughts. Stories It United Needs Remarkable Guts Entertaining. Fanciful Martin Bourne Optimistic (W4P Group Leader) Rewarding

OUR HOLIDAY 10 We finally got to the station We always had smoked ham on the Excited and full of good cheer, train, We were going on holiday to Black- Whether we were coming or going pool In a way it was the highlight of the Like we’d done for the last four year. week Regardless of what we’d been doing. It was packed with people all doing We eventually got to Blackpool, the same, Some kids asked to carry our cases. And the noise level was driving us Dad agreed, and gave them some mad money, There was whistles blowing, doors And that put a smile on their faces. banging, And the P.A. was really bad, Somehow I ended up stood on my own But there stood this massive steam Not knowing if they’d gone on ahead. engine When at last my dad found me, He gave me a smack round the All gleaming and ready to go. I went running up as close as I dare head. And ower kid came running up too. That was a good start to the holiday, But it picked up from there on in. It suddenly gave out an almighty Every day on the beach, whatever whoof! And the cloud of steam and smoke the weather, Nearly blew us off our feet. The driver said “It was only a joke.” We was froze but took it on the chin, The sand got in every where as well; On the train we got into a compart- Nose, ears, every cranny and nook, ment, Then back to the digs for our tea, Me and ower kid sat near a window. Soup, roast chicken and veg with a We cheered as we pulled out of the bit of luck. station While I rid my eye of a cinder. It seemed like we’d been there ages, As we managed to do loads of stuff. Then I stuck my head out of a door We’d only been there a week As the wind blew in my face and hair. It just wasn’t long enough. Mom called us back to have our lunch, Two days was spent just travelling, Sandwiches, crisps, and a pear. Yes, the train was great when we came. But when we were on it going back I opened the grease proof paper, And sure my dreams had come true. home, The sandwiches were filled with It just didn’t seem the same. smoked ham, Tim Lloyd With a thin sliced tomato on too.

The Friday Morning Club 11 The dancing always lifts my heart. 2 weeks ago I was very bold Quizzes are fun and test my brain. I said that poetry left me cold They stop grey cells going down the I told my daughter what I’d said drain. It was clear to me that she’d seen Craft sessions require a certain skill. red I don’t think I always fit that bill. You can’t say that she said to me A group of friends, I have found It’s like saying that books should Where happiness and laughter does never be. abound With poems, it’s obvious you’ve not At coffee time we have a chat read enough You must admit we all like that. Change your mind and read differ- So this poem is a small attempt ent stuff. To right a wrong which wasn’t So maybe I’d better look around meant. And poems I like could be found. And for all of you, here’s a warning I could say this in my defence Watch what you say on Friday I’ll try a bit harder from this day morning. hence. And let’s be glad this group is here The Friday Morning Club’s a treat And May it last for many a year. The activities are hard to beat. Pat Davies I love the games, the talks and art. Two Glaswegians, Archie and Jimmy, are sitting in the pub discussing Jim- my's forthcoming wedding. ‘Och, it's all goin' pure brilliant,’ says Jimmy. ‘A've got everythin' organised awready, the fluers, the church, the caurs, the re- ception, the rings, the minister, even ma stag night’. Archie nods approvingly. ‘I've even bought a kilt to be married in!’ continues Jimmy. ‘A kilt?’ exclaims Archie, ‘That's magic, you'll look pure smart in that. Whit's the tartan?’ ‘Och,’ says Jimmy, ‘A'd imagine she'll be in white’ Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.' Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.' Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't married yet.' George Jones

Renovating an Ancient Copse Garden 12 I belong to Crewe and Nantwich Environment and Wildlife Conservation Group [EWC from Groups button on the web site—ed]. This is an active group formed last year but already has nearly 50 members. with still space for more! We have talks, from, for example The Woodland Trust, and on-site visits to interesting sites such as Whixall Moss a National Nature Reserve. Plans for next year already include a visit to ‘The Lovell Quinta Arboretum’. Our meetings encourage members to bring along windfall apples and surplus seeds to distribute freely, we collect used tablet blister packs for a local charity and much more. It is a much needed and enthusiastic group run by Gill, Ro and Carole who find the most interesting links for us to read and are super enthusiastic about the need for us all to be Eco aware. As for myself, it was in late 2018 that I decided to take the initiative and sort out an area of land attached to our local Church, St Michael’s church in Crewe Green, which is 19c and Grade ii* listed. The area is about half an acre which hugs a bend in the road. It contains several ancient trees and was in the past completely fenced by Cheshire Railing. However over the years it had become an unfenced dumping ground for anyone passing. Old doors, barbed wire, bricks, black refuse bags were all languishing in the overgrowth. The fenc- ing had vanished or been flattened in several places. The garden belongs to the Church and sits at the cen- tre of our Parish which is mainly within Duchy of Lan- caster estate of properties and farms. I knew the Church was unable to fund the project and the Congregation is not large, so I decided to write to the Duchy and ask for advice and help. They were im- mediately helpful. Luckily a meeting was just about to take place by the committee for the allocation of mon- ies from the Queens Benevolent Fund. Within days I was told that my application had been successful and the project was awarded £5,000, and work could begin immediately. I found a small local company (Branching Out) that would do all the ground work starting with 3 skip loads of rubbish. (Cont)

I liaised with the Church committee and we de- 13 cided that a pathway around the 400yr old Oak, located at the centre and now revealed in all its glory, would encourage visitors, especially if I could get some benches. So I wrote to Aldi su- permarket and they kindly donated £1,250 for two oak benches to be handmade. Replace- ment Cheshire Rail fencing was donated by Graham Construction. It needed welding and painting but family and friends came to the res- cue. I also contacted the Woodland Trust who donated sapling mixed hedging. The whole area was seeded with wild flowers and grass. We have had many ‘ups’ and a few ‘downs’ not least two separate car crashes into the fencing which caused serious damage, torrential rain just after seed sowing result- ing in all the seed gushing into the road and of course COVID. However the ‘ups’ are many and our local community now meets once a year for Bulb Planting Days. The area is visited regularly by human and wildlife visitors and the 400 year old Oak now looks resplendent at the cen- tre as well as providing me with Oak Galls with which I experimented and created Calligraphy Ink. I have learned much about Copse planting not least that wild garlic, bluebell, campion, snowdrop, wood anemone thrive better than the ma- jority of seeds which need many hours of sunshine. We have already replanted many cuttings from our own gardens but will continue to add to the Copse whenever possible. The Copse Garden is now very much part of the community and is regular- ly visited for contemplation. I for one, hope it will continue and grow. Lynn Halliburton

The Happiest Days of your Life? 14 My Schooldays in the 1950s and 1960s – Part 3 Martin Jones This is the third and final part of my article detailing some memories of my schooldays in the 1950s and 1960s. In the August U3A newsletter, I noted that my time at the RAF primary school at Changi in Singapore came to an end in September 1960 when we returned home to Surrey after three years in the Far East. When I arrived back, I faced an immediate problem in that – strangely - I had passed the 11+ in Singapore at age 10 years and 6 months and was now faced with the prospect of returning to primary school and taking my 11+ again the following year. Cue Dr Harold Birchall, the renowned Headmaster of the local Purley Grammar School for Boys who offered me a place at his school, with the proviso that I could repeat my first year there if necessary. Prophetic words as it turned out. And so it was on the bus that I travelled the following Monday for my first day at a school which was to become my sec- ond home for the next eight years. Here am I, minus my glasses for some reason, in my first year at the school. I think it is fair to say that Purley Grammar School was a traditional grammar school, with compulsory wearing of maroon blazers, ties and caps and shoes that had to be polished daily. It was located in the village of Old Coulsdon, having moved there from Purley in the early 1930s. The Girls school was sit- uated down the road and was strictly out of bounds to all boys! Gowns were worn by the teach- ers and even the odd mortar board. There was a prefect sys- tem in operation, of which I be- came one in my final year, and a strangely chilling fact was that the prefects were allowed to beat boys up until shortly before I started at the school. Here is the school (and Old Coulsdon vil- lage) as I remember it in the 1960s. Dr Birchall, or ‘Basher’ as he was known, was a gruff, authoritarian pipe-smoking Headmaster who reg- ularly wielded the cane for offences such as smoking or visiting pubs in school hours. He added and took away school holidays at whim and regularly wrote to parents asking for money, something which my parents deplored. Like Douglas Bader, Birchall had lost a leg in a flying accident and his une- ven step on the stone floors, resulting from his wooden replacement, was leg- (Cont) endary throughout the school.

15 Birchall’s deputy was Arthur Jewitt and ‘chalk and cheese’ come to mind, with Arthur exercising a calm, authoritative and slightly unworldly style of management. The combination seemed to work well though and I was pleased when Arthur was deservedly appointed Acting Head for two years in 1966 following Birchall’s retirement. Being at a secondary school, I encountered many teachers at Purley, some good, others not-so-good and a few who would certainly not be seen in the teaching profession now. My first form teacher was Len Kneller, a very good maths teacher but a strange man who regularly waved a wooden samurai sword around the classroom when asking questions of boys. For the first time, I studied Latin and here I encountered a diminutive Polish man Ed Stachak. ‘Stack’ as he was known was renowned for his volatile temper and his lessons were not always comfortable places to be. Only recently did I discover what Stack went through as a Polish POW in the War and I have to say my views of the Pole have changed as a result. Arthur Loveland was another former POW and he was in Stalag Luft III at the time of the ‘Great Escape’ although, perhaps fortunately for him, he was well down the list of escapees and survived to teach maths at Purley. One other personality comes to mind and that was Vic Gilbert, a French teacher and inveterate pipe-smoker who was famed for being easily side-tracked on to his favourite subjects - cricket, Crystal Palace football club and steam engines! The tale is told of the occasion when Vic had to hurriedly stuff his pipe into his coat pocket as management came a-visiting and of his dismay when the coat went up in smoke a few minutes later! I had been used to playing football at school in Singapore, but one look at the rugby pitches on the playing fields suggested that this was going to be difficult to continue at Purley, and indeed Dr Birchall hated football so much that he banned footballs from anywhere on the school premises. This might have been a problem, but we resolved it by going to the local park for our lunchtime fix with the round ball and, later on, we even got to the stage of forming our own football team, at first playing friendlies but later joining a local league. I cannot say I ever liked rugby and was pleased when I was able to drop it in favour of cross-country running which I quite enjoyed. Another first for me at Purley was school dinners. Meat was a staple part of the diet – no vegetarian options in those days – with roasts enjoyed by most but liver largely untouched. My wife has always loved liver but I never touch it, something to do with the texture of the school liver I believe. Spam fritters were a favourite of the kitchens although not necessarily of the boys, and fish was often served on Fridays. Vegetables were normally available, for example cabbage - always wet through - plus mashed potato. Puddings were always served and custard (invariably with skin on top) available in separate jugs. (Cont)

16 A while ago, I watched a TV series in which some modern teenagers were taken back to former school times and, amongst the meals they were required to eat were liver and tapioca pudding. I imagine I was not alone in roaring with laughter when the teenagers flatly refused to eat either. And what did we (or rather our parents) pay for the school dinners? Well, when I started at Purley, it was 1/- (5p) a day and when I left, it was still the same price. Very good value I have to say. Those of our vintage will no doubt remember the free school milk which ap- peared daily at all state schools. I have to say I did not partake of the milk which often curdled outside on hot summer days and froze on the cold winter days which blighted the 1960s. However, I did take my turn as milk monitor. I could go on, for example about school assemblies, medical inspec- tions, BCG ‘jabs’, use of the cane and slipper and so on, but I have probably said enough. I am pictured below with the prefects and Arthur Jewitt and his deputy in my final term and I am in the back row on the left. My time at the school came to a tearful end in July 1968, ironically with a last dinner of spam fritters. In days of old, the leavers’ assembly apparently included advice from the Headmaster on the ‘wiles of wom- en’ in the adult world, but fortunately this had been dropped by the time I left the school! Later the same evening, many of us went to the Old Boys’ headquarters where yards of ale were consumed and school uni- forms were nowhere to be seen. After fourteen years at three schools, my schooldays were at an end! Martin Jones

Hello from the Sharing Shakespeare group, 17 We are a small, newly formed group of friendly, individuals, none of whom are Shakespeare spe- cialists or experts, Rather we are a group of peo- ple who are interested in remembering bits we might have liked ages ago, and taking another look at bits we probably ignored back then, when other things were more easily understood and probably more interesting! When we first met up, Joyce (leader), asked us what we were interested in doing or getting out of the sessions. Two things struck her as being im- portant to several of us, and they were, quiz- zes and theatre visits............so here goes, firstly a quiz, and secondly a chance to join us on a lo- cal visit to see some Shakespeare. Please try to answer the quiz questions without the aid of 'Google' or 'Alexa', if you are going to enter a simple competition, that is.( Details at the end} 1. Portia's house has been identified by scholars near to which city and on the banks of which river? 2.Which of Shakespeare's plays is the shortest? 3.What is the name of the place near to Stratford whence came his wife, the daughter of a farmer? 4.How many sonnets are attributed to Shakespeare? 5. Name the play by Shakespeare which features one of the greatest English victories in battle on 25th October? 6.Did Shakespeare have an ear ring? 7. Which play is set in the Forest of Arden? 8.How old was Shakespeare when he died and where is he buried? 9. Who called whom an 'upstart crow' and why, in 1592? 10. Before Eastenders, Bianca was a character in which of Shakespeare's plays? Answers please to [email protected] before December 20th if you are entering the competition. The judges' decision will be final, (Joyce and Jen- ny), and prizes awarded to the 2 first correct answers Want to know what they are, the prizes? Well, there's a free half an hour snooker tutorial session from a local player, and a box of chocolates. In case we need a tie break, please complete the beginning of this famous quotation, referring this time to the benefits of be- longing to our U3A, in no more than 15 words (Cont) ''If music be the food of love.........'

So that's the quiz, next the trip to see some live theatre....here's an open inv1i8- tation to all of you to join us at the Crewe Odeon on February 23rd next year, to see a live screening of 'Othello' from The National Theatre, Watch out for more information on that, and for the answers to the quiz, and the best tie break quotation, which will be posted in the next newsletter. Bet you can't wait! Best wishes for the festive season , Joyce West and Jenny Jinkinson Food and Country Yesterday I was so Hungary, I decided to Czech if there was any food. I was Russian to the fridge, but found only a Turkey full of Greece. Iran to the store to get some salt, pepper, Chile and Korea-nder, because I was in the mood for some Sweden sour. I found Iraq of pork chops but there was Norway I could eat them all. The Romanian ingredients where some Belize pepper and a Canada best soup I could ever find. Can you Bolivia it? I Cyprus the urge of buying some Fiji Water. I Haiti the fact that bottled water leaves a Denmark in the environment. My friend, the Seargent Tina, decided to join me in my quest for the ultimate food fest. She suggested cooking some Japan-seared Tuna, but that Kuwait for a moment. Our friend Chad also came. I told him to bring his acoustic Qatar. We Singapore song after other while we Polish the silverware and clean the China. We prepared some Cuba libres, as well as a drink consisting of Jamaica flower and Malta Whiskey. I think is our best Cro- atian yet! My friends Sudan-ly had Togo. Once I was Finnish with my cook- ing, I enjoyed thoroughly my meal. It was so Yemen! I'm Ghana repeat this meal some time in the future. To be honest, I Benin ignoring quality food for some time. I'm Thai-red of eating only Seoul Food, but those days are Ga- bon! I've been Peru-sing my choices lately, so Angola look for better recipes. Israel hard to find good food in my city. I Congo for days and days looking, Bhutan no avail. Kenya'll understand what am I saying? Syria'sly I'm running out of puns, although I'm sure there are a Brazil-lion of them. I hope this has been India-ring to all of you. I hope it hasn't been a Spain to read. Probably I'll try later to find Samoa phrases! George Jones What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? (ed) They have the same middle name.

Groups spotlight 19 A regular new feature has been launched on the website to celebrate our groups and their wonderful leaders. We have such a wide variety of groups, with so much going on to interest other U3A members and maybe encour- age people to join more groups. We’d love as many groups as possible to get involved, it’s a fantastic opportunity to share your activities with other members. So how does your group get involved? Development officer Sue Steele will be contacting group leaders initially to arrange a visit from members Eileen Churchman and Liz Page who will come along to take pictures and chat to the group leaders. Early visits are underway, the first being to the Arts4 group which you can read about on their group section of the website. As a taster, here’s an extract: ‘The sun streams through the windows, bathing the room in a warm glow as the Arts 4 class quietly concentrates on painting seasonal ‘still lives.’ It’s the sec- ond week of the topic to be tackled by the watercolours group and offerings range from autumnal fruit and vegeta- bles to leaves and seed pods. As the end of the session approaches, a low hum of chatter begins as members chat to each other about their creations. It’s clear there’s a social element to this group along with periods of quiet con- centration. It's clear that Di is a warm, enthusiastic group leader and it’s easy to see why the group is so popular.’ Sue Steele (Development) Groups seeking New Members (as at 26/11/22) Gardening(GRD), Spanish Improvers(SPN1), Poetry(PTY), Music Apprecia- tion(MA1), Flower Arranging(FLA), Choir(CHRT & CHRW) and Shake- speare(SHA).

Social Activity Team (SAT) 20 As a new group set up to organise social events for all members of the Crewe and Nantwich U3A we have 62 members registered and went ahead with our first event on the 24th October. We managed to get 23 people to brave the Pie, Pint and Parley event at the Red Cow in Nantwich which opened on a Monday evening especially for our group. A pub meal and quiz was chosen to try to include as many people as possible who had joined the team and allow some mixing and min- gling. Dax, the chef/landlord, makes a great pie and to get people talking we had a pirate themed quiz. Do you know the English privateer who died of dysen- tery in 1596 or the name of Captain Pug- wash’s ship? As our first event we have had some very positive feedback. We are now looking at events for the New Year. An- yone can join the SAT group [via Groups button on the Web site] and will be able to join future events. If you have any ideas or want to give us sugges- tions and help organise future events please join us. Jackie and Karen What is the definition of a ‘Mistress?’ Someone who comes between the Mis- ter and the Mattress! An Older Couple is lying in bed one morning. They had just awakened from a good night's sleep. He takes her hand and she responds, 'Don't touch me.' 'Why not?' he asked. She answered, 'Because I'm dead.' The husband asked...'What are you talking about? We're both lying here in bed together and talking to one another!' She said, 'No, I'm definitely dead.' He insisted, 'You are not dead. What in the world makes you think you're dead?' 'Because I woke up this morning and nothing hurts. George Jones There are four stages of old age: You forget names. Then you forget faces. Next, you forget to zip up. And finally, you forget to zip down. Where can single men over the age of 70 find younger women who are inter- ested in them? Try a bookstore under fiction. Ed

Old Hill Billy Wisdom 21 Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong. Keep skunks, bankers, and politicians at a distance. Life is simpler when you plow around the stump. A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor. Words that soak into your ears are whis- pered, not yelled. The best sermons are lived, not preached. If you don't take the time to do it right, you'll find the time to do it twice. Don't corner something that is meaner than you. Don’t pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he’ll just kill you. It don’t take a very big person to carry a grudge. You cannot unsay a cruel word. Every path has a few puddles. When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty. Don't be banging your shin on a stool that's not in the way. Borrowing trouble from the future doesn't deplete the supply. Most of the stuff people worry about ain’t never gonna happen anyway. Don’t judge folks by their relatives. Silence is sometimes the best answer. Don‘t interfere with somethin’ that ain’t botherin' you none. Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance. If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin’. Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got. The biggest troublemaker you’ll ever have to deal with watches you from the mirror every mornin’. Always drink upstream from the herd. Good judgment comes from experience, and most of that comes from bad judgment. Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin’ it back in. If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ some- body else’s dog around. Gill Weston (EWC)

Winter Quiz Answers 22 1. Obi 9. 99,999 2. Florence Nightingale 10. Royal jelly 3. Maine 11. Chiffon 4. Tungsten 12. South Africa 5. Vodka 13. Cadillac 6. Salvador Dali 14. Prince Philip (Duke of Edinburgh) 7. July and August (Julius and Au- 15. Horse gustus Caesar) 8. Barometer In your last news letter you printed about my grandson James Benson King who is cycling solo for charity from the most northern tip of Alaska to the most southern tip of Patagonia \"The Ice to Ice Challenge\" from the Arctic to the Antarctic a journey of 18,000 miles. For those who might be interested you can follow all his adventure on bensonthebikingviking.co.uk on you tube, facebook & other social me- dia. He actually has a drone that he flies & charges it up together with his mobile phone with a dynamo on his bike. He spends the evening in his tent editing the videos & photos he takes, & some of them are amazing & feel sure they will be of interest to some of your readers Brian Rushbooke C&N U3A . After ten years of marriage, my wife started to think our child looked kind of strange with no characteristics of either parent so she arranged a DNA test to find out if the child was theirs or not. On getting the negative result back she told her husband. The husband replied, ‘You don’t remember do you? Just before we came home from the hospital the baby filled its nappy, and you told me to go and change him, so I went into the nursery and got a clean one and left the dirty one there. George Jones

Committee Appeal 23 After this year’s AGM there will be a new Chair and Treasurer. Several Committee members will leave or move around (including The Newsletter Editor). So now is a really good time for those of you who want to contrib- ute to the running of this U3a to step forward and join the cause. Please bear in mind that No Committee = No U3a (Editor) CREWE & NANTWICH U3A - Committee Nomination Form 2022 (for 2023 AGM) Nominations are required for all the officers and committee mem- bers. In addition to the officers, up to 10 members can be commit- tee members. Nominations must be made using the form below and posted or handed to the Secretary, Mrs M Simmons, 47 The Beeches, Nantwich, CW5 5YP by Tues.14.2.23 Position Nominee Proposer Seconder Print Name Signature and Signature and Chair print name print name Vice Chair 1 Vice Chair 2 Treasurer Secretary Committee Member Committee Member Please Note: For the purpose of our charitable status, all committee members are also made trustees of our U3A. However, some people are disqualified by law from acting as charity trustees e.g. if declared bankrupt; disqualified company director etc. Further information can be obtained from the secretary.

Committee Roles & Contacts 24 Judith Ross [email protected] Bryan Roe [email protected] Marian Simmons [email protected] Peter Brook [email protected] Lynne Jones [email protected] Vacant [email protected] Neil Crossley [email protected] Irene Dixon [email protected] Ann-Marie Lloyd [email protected] Susan Steele [email protected] Adrian Finney [email protected] Nigel Bharani [email protected] Vacant [email protected] Editor’s Notices Ends 31st March Winter Term : Starts 9th January Ends 30th June Spring Term : Starts 3rd April Renewal To renew your membership of the C&N U3a the cost is £15.00 via Direct Debit, Card or Cheque (payable to “Crewe and Nantwich U3a” ) to the Membership Secretary, 23 Queen Street, Crewe, CW1 4AF Levy All members of groups, which use a paid venue, are required to pay the full levy, irrespective of how many meetings they attend. There are 12 weeks in the Winter Term. So if your group meets weekly for the full term, the levy will be £18.00. If your group is fortnightly it is £9.00. If your group is month- ly it is an annual fee of £18.00 (if you meet every month). Group leaders— please ensure your dates on your group page are correct and that you in- form the bookings secretary if you have to vary them mid term. Visit our Website— http://www.candnu3a.org.uk u3a National Website – www.u3a.org.uk March Newsletter : Articles to [email protected] by 22nd February 2023.