Captain Cutlass and the Tourists

C a pt a i na nCdthuetlTaosusr ists by Augie Walsh and Brendan Walsh



A pirate by the name of Captain Cutlass once setsail with his crew on their ship the Good Prawn.They arrived at a deserted island that looked sobeautiful they decided to live there.They called it Secret Pirate Island.Captain Cutlass, his first mate Squid, and the restof the crew loved building. They used stones andmortar to build an amazing pirate fortress. It hadcanons and spyglasses and cutlasses and barrels anda pirate flag.And they parked their ship in front. They were allvery happy on Secret Pirate Island and spent theirdays looking after the fortress and doing pirateythings.



Then one day first mate Squid came to CaptainCutlass and said:“Captain, there’s a problem!”“Arrgh, what is it first mate?” the captain asked.“Somebody has built a tourist hotel on the otherside of the island,” said first mate Squid.“But don’t they know this our island?” said CaptainCutlass, “Come on, we better go talk to them!”



So, the captain and first mate Squid crossed theisland to find the newly built Jolly Buccaneer Resortand Spa. They tried to explain that this was theirisland.“Your island?” said the manager, Mr Drummond,looking puzzled. “But we have a lease for this landand a permit for a tourist business. May I see yourpaperwork?”“Ahh.. Paperwork…” said Captain Cutlass, “wedon’t have actual paperwork, but we’ve been here inour pirate fortress a long time. This is our home.”“So you are actual pirates… with an actual piratefortress?” said Mr Drummond looking veryinterested. “I’d like to see that.”“Um, maybe another time,” said Captain Cutlass,“we best be going. C’mon first mate.”



“It should be OK”, said Captain Cutlass back at thefortress, as they sat and watched the sun setting.“Pirates don’t really need neighbours… but I’m surethey’ll leave us alone. We won’t even notice they arethere.”However, the next morning Captain Cutlass waswoken by first mate Squid calling:“Captain, there’s another problem!”



They raced to the fortress lookout, and there belowsaw a busload of tourists arriving from the JollyBuccaneer Resort and Spa.They all had cameras and were busily taking photosof themselves in front of the fortress, in front of thecanons, in front of the Good Prawn parked out thefront, and even in front of the pirate crewmembers.“Arrghh” cried Captain Cutlass. “What be themeaning of this Mr Drummond?”Mr Drummond replied, “Now that we’reneighbours, I’m just showing some of our guestsaround Captain. They’re all very excited to seereal pirates.”



Captain Cutlass held his sword high and calledback,“But this is where we live… we’re pirates, nottourist attractions!”Well, the tourists thought Captain Cutlass lookedvery piratey holding his sword up like that, so theyall pointed their cameras and took lots and lotsmore photos.Captain Cutlass looked weary. “Inside the fortressme hearties,” he told his crew, “These scoundrels didnot even ask first before they took our photos. Wewon’t show our faces again until they’re gone.”



The pirates hoped that would be the last they’d seeof the pesky tourists, but the next morning theywere back. And this time there were two busloads ofthem taking pictures.Mr Drummond called out excitedly, “CaptainCutlass, it’s fantastic. Since people found out wehave real pirates here they all want to come and stayat our hotel. You and your crew are famous…isn’tthat great?



But Captain Cutlass and his crew did not think itwas so great. They did not want to be famous.“Crew,” he said sadly as they went back inside tohide out again, “I don’t think our new neighboursare going to work out… these tourists are not goingto leave us alone to do our regular piratey things……I’m afraid it’s time for us to leave.”



So that night the crew took apart the fortress stoneby stone.They packed up the entire fortress, and all thecanons and spyglasses and cutlasses and barrels andthe pirate flag onto the ship and onto rafts.And by the first light of the moon they set sail insearch of a new home.



They sailed all night, and the next morning theyfound a new island.“This island sure is beautiful,” said first mate Squid,“and it’s not on any maps.”“Then we’ll call it Mysterious Island,” said theCaptain. “Let’s go ashore and exploreHowever when they reached the beach onMysterious Island they were met by a village ofislanders who already lived there.



Captain Cutlass said to the islanders “Sorry tobother you me hearties, we were looking for anempty island to live on.”But when he told the islanders the story of thetourists and the cameras and the stone and mortarfortress, the islanders asked Captain Cutlass and hiscrew if they’d like to stay and live on the island withthem.The islanders said would never try to take photosof the pirates without asking first, but they’d begrateful if the pirates would build them somestronger houses because their bamboo huts keptblowing down when it was windy.Captain cutlass and his crew were very happy to sayyes.  



Meanwhile back on Secret Pirate Island, whichwas not very secret these days, Mr Drummondhad arrived with three large buses of tourists andcameras… only to find an empty space where thefortress had once been.“Where are the pirates?” yelled a grumpy tourist.“We paid you good money to see real pirates.”“Um… ah…” said an embarrassed Mr Drummond,who was confused about where Captain Cutlass andthe fortress could have gone.



And so it came to be that Captain Cutlass, first mateSquid and the crew settled on Mysterious Island, inan amazing new stone and mortar pirate fortress,complete with canons and spyglasses and cutlassesand barrels and a pirate flag, and their ship parked infront.AND surrounded by an amazing village of bricksand mortar houses, and islanders who were veryhappy with their new piratey friends.



That afternoon Captain Cutlass and first mate Squidsat on their new fortress lookout watching thesunset.“Sure is nice here” said the first mate.“Aye” said Captain Cutlass, “and I think our newislander friends are going to work out just fine……Maybe it’s not so bad for pirates to haveneighbours after all.” The End