51 GSCENE OUT & ABOUTTHE VOICEOF GERMANYBrighton born singer/songwriter Nick Howard, won theGerman version of The Voice last month in Berlin. when and wherever possible. Nick said: “I tens of thousands of new fans and he remember my first show in New York was at a embarked on several headlining tours of his venue even Google couldn't find… confirmed by own in 2011 and 2012. He was recently the the three people in attendance. Fortunately recipient of an ASCAP songwriting award for things got better.” Days Like These, a single off the new album.The show was screened live on German TV. Nick managed to break free in late 2009 armed Nick has enjoyed particular success inDuring the final which was broadcast live on with his debut album, Something To Talk Germany and its neighbouring countries andGerman TV, Nick duetted with Emile Sande, his About, songs from which were featured in he has a special connection with his Germanmentor Rea Garvey and he sang his own dozens of TV shows and films and received fans who were some of the first to reallycomposition Unbreakable. This came after airplay across radio networks in the US and in support his music and come out to see himopening the show singing with Robbie Germany. Since then, Nick has toured all over live on tours of his own. As a result he hasWilliams and the three other finalists. the world, playing 150 shows last year. He has spent the last two years pond-hopping from seen his songs break into the charts and has New York to Europe, touring his second homeNick moved to New York six years ago with his supported artists such as Lifehouse, Boyce about ten times and picking up thousands ofguitar, suitcase and a lot of ambition. Now he Avenue, Gavin DeGraw, Counting Crows and new fans in the process.has become something of a celebrity in Jack Johnson. “Hearing my song on the radioGermany having won the final of the German for the first time was amazing… watching This also led him to audition for The Voice ofversion of the show The Voice, and he will now Snooki and The Situation make out with my Germany, for which he had to learn to speakbe doing the post-show tour of major German song playing in the background on Jersey Shore German in only four months.venues (including the O2 in Berlin) over was even better.”Christmas and the New Year. “My first show in New York Nick's newest album, When The Lights Go Up was at a venue evenTo achieve his dream, Nick spent four years includes several tracks produced by Marshall Google couldn't find…”balancing day jobs (think the Office) and Altman (Natasha Bedingfield, Matt Nathanson)night jobs (think worst waiter in New York) and was recorded in LA and Nashville. The firstand squeezed in shows, writing and recording singles from the album have broken into radio charts worldwide and MTV recently played the video for Falling For You for the first time. To support the release of his new album, Nick supported Lifehouse, Boyce Avenue, Tyler Ward and Sunrise Avenue, playing sold out shows to Described as “honest, emotional, thoughtful, melodic and catchy” and “music that will enter one ear with ease, but will have trouble leaving the other”, Nick cites a wide range of musical influences and life experiences when writing and performing. He singles out The Beatles as a lifelong musical inspiration and John Mayer, Jason Mraz, The Script, Oasis and Coldplay as standards in his Top 25 most played iTunes playlist. Nick's music has been featured on Pretty Little Liars, Switched At Birth, The Hills, Jersey Shore, Next, True Life, Cougar Town, 90210, LA Ink, Greek, Army Wives and many other TV shows and films. He has performed multiple times on live television in the US and Europe, including appearances on NBC, Fox and the BBC. When The Lights Go Up was released worldwide in 2011, and all four singles from the album broke into the Top 50 radio airplay charts in Germany.
52 GSCENE OUT & ABOUTSTARLIGHT EXPRESS ARTS DUKEBOX THEATRE THE TRIALS OF HARVEY MATUSOWKOMEDIA ZOE LYONS BY MICHAEL HOOTMAN The Iron Duke, 3 Waterloo Street, Gardner Street, Brighton Hove, BN3 1AQ, Tickets: Box office: 0845 293 8480 BRIGHTON CENTRE www.wegottickets.com/thedukeb www.komedia.co.uk oxtheatre I BENT DOUBLE (Sun 6), an Kings Road, Brighton I THE TRIALS OF HARVEY irreverent night of fun and frolics Box office: 0844 847 1515 MATUSOW (Thu 10–Fri 11). Written hosted by Zoe Lyons (Mock The www.brightoncentre.co.uk and performed by Robert Cohen Week and Michael McIntyre's I STARLIGHT EXPRESS (Wed and directed by Ralf Higgins, the Comedy Roadshow). Tonight's 2–Sat 12). Andrew Lloyd one man play is the strange yet headliner is the Raymond & Mr Webber’s futuristic musical true story of a man who, at the Timpkins Revue. about love and hope in the face height of the Cold War, succeeded of adversity is the ride of a in uniting America’s left and right lifetime. It promises two hours – in hatred for him. Once a keen of speed, spectacle, energy and communist, he became a turbo charged excitement, McCarthyite supergrass, spent four combined with an electrifying sound track, dazzling sets and costumes years testifying whenever he could and roller-choreography by TV dance show judge Arlene Phillips. 'See get paid to do so, then set the cat it- and you still won’t believe it' Daily Telegraph. among the stoolpigeons by I GARY BARLOW (Thu 17). After 20 years in the business, over 50 revealing that he had fabricated million records sold, eight No 1 albums, 14 No 1 singles, seven million almost all of his evidence. Told concert tickets sold and six Ivor Novello Awards, he is regarded as one from the perspective of the late of Britain’s most successful singer/songwriters.X FACTOR LIVE I RONAN KEATING FIRES LIVE (Sun 20). Former Boyzone singer THE OLD MARKET performs his hits and material from his new album, Fires. I DONNY & MARIE LIVE (Mon 21), celebrating 50 years in showbiz. 1960s, in self-imposed English Upper Market Street, Hove I X FACTOR LIVE (Tue 29–Thu exile, Matusow reflects on his Box office: 01273 201800 31). The top seven finalists journey from post-war Manhattan www.theoldmarket.co.uk performing on the tour are to McCarthyite Washington to I ALIVE & SWINGING WITH James Arthur, Ella Henderson, Lewisburg jail and struggle for MARILYN MONROE (Sat 19). Jahmene Douglas, Rylan Clark, redemption among the New York Marilyn Monroe is finding Heaven Christopher Maloney and and London underground art world. a bore with no drinking, smoking groups Union J and District3. Winner of the Fringe Review or sex, and worst of all, no Outstanding Theatre Award. swinging music. She returns to THE DOME ‘The best one-hander I have seen Earth for one more night of fun, all year’ Plays International. ‘The bringing Las Vegas legend Elvis Church Street, Brighton script is compelling... chilling, Presley and Amy Winehouse with Box office: 01273 709709 informative, cuttingly funny’ her. Join the superstars and the www.brightondome.org FringeReview. six-piece Burning Love band for I BALLETBOYZ (Tue 29), new show plenty of swing, as they sing and features ten exceptional young dance away their final night on dancers and presents two bold new Earth. 'A fabulous, fantastic, fun works by acclaimed choreographers and feel-good show!' The Argus. Russell Maliphant and Liam Scarlett. Led by former Royal THEATRE ROYAL Ballet lead dancers Michael Nunn and William Trevitt, BalletBoyz are New Road, Brighton famed for their thrilling brand of Box office: 08448 717 650 energetic and graceful dance fused I THE ROCKY HORROR SHOW 40th with stunning music and imagery. Anniversary Party Production (until Sat, 5 Jan 2013). Directed by ‘This is dance at its most riveting Christopher Luscombe and and fearless. Talent? I should starring Ben Forster (Jesus Christ say so…’ Independent on Superstar), Rhydian (X Factor/We Sunday. Will Rock You), Roxanne Pallett BALLETBOYZ ALIVE & SWINGING
GSCENE OUT & ABOUT 53ROCKY HORROR SHOW CBGB club in New York, the band BLONDIEhave sold over 40 million records and with pop’s most famous bottle(Emmerdale) and Oliver Thornton blonde, the iconic Debbie Harry,(Priscilla Queen Of The Desert). at the helm, they will be runningBursting at the seams with through all the hits from theirtimeless classics, including Sweet eponymous debut in 1976 up toTransvestite, Damn It Janet and 2011’s Panic of Girls, including theTime Warp. classics Call Me, Atomic, Heart of Glass, Maria, and many more.BLONDIE Special guests The Lighting Seeds will be supporting the band withBedgebury National Pinetum & their brand of perfect popForest, Bedgebury Road, performed acoustically.Goudhurst, TN17 2SJ The concert forms part of theBox office: 03000 680400 Forestry Commission’s annualwww.forestry.gov.uk/music concert series Forest Live, withI Pop legends BLONDIE will be more dates announced inperforming tracks spanning their woodlands across the country.35-year career at Bedgebury Tickets: £36 (subject to bookingPinetum near Tunbridge Wells (Sat fee).Jun 22). Since their days at the
54 GSCENE OUT & ABOUT MARIA JASTRZĘBSKA AT THE LIBRARY OF MEMORIESTHE FORKED FOREST PATH ART Local poet Maria Jastrzębska’s new book, At the Library of Memories,KELLY RICHARDSON MATTERS leads the reader from the ghost of one room to another, via the senses BY ENZO MARRA and catching at fragments of stories. This is an invitation to TOWNER examine not only individual, arresting memories - at once Devonshire Park, College Road, Eastbourne, East Sussex, BN21 4JJ familiar and disturbing - but the Tel: 01323 434670, www.townereastbourne.org.uk process of remembering itself. How Sunday January 6 is your last opportunity to enter works for the EAST we come to terms with our own SUSSEX OPEN 2013, an open submission exhibition at Eastbourne’s past and what collectively we make Towner Gallery. Returning for its fourth year (Sat Mar 9–Sun Apr 28), of it are questions running in and the exhibition is open to artists working in any media who live or out of these vivid, exciting poems. work in East Sussex. The exhibition is designed to showcase the wealth of regional artistic talent on Eastbourne’s doorstep and also “In Maria Jastrzębska's new coincides with the sixth year of the Eastbourne Festival, (Sat Mar collection memory is a powerful and 30–Sun Apr 21). Previous exhibitions included large scale sculptures truthful tool, admitting fallibility and a video installation showing iconic landmarks along the South and never exceeding its prerogative, yet evoking a whole world of tastes coast from a swimmer’s perspective, as well as a toilet made of and smells, longings, anxieties and human needs. This is vivid, thought- chocolate. provoking poetry that takes us by stages to the heart of the immigrant experience and leaves us with urgent questions which imperceptibly have Exhibitions Curator, Sanna Moore, will once again lead the judging become our own.” Susan Wicks panel, with guest selectors artists Alessandro Raho and Susan Diab “Maria Jastrzębska's epic new collection is fabulous, audacious and both with a wealth of experience. Raho’s works have featured all round compelling; here are dazzling conjurings of lost times and places, the world including the Smithsonian Institution in Washington, tremendously moving elegies, and astonishing fragments of intricate Museum of Modern Art in New York, the Berado Collection in Lisbon stories recovered from lost worlds. This exceptional collection is the work and a commission of Dame Judi Dench for the National Portrait of a poet at the height of her imaginative powers.” Nick Drake. Gallery, London. Susan Diab has worked as a freelance artist and collaborated on a number of projects including public commissions, Maria Jastrzębska was born in artist-led initiatives, outreach projects and open studios. Her work has Warsaw, Poland and came to appeared in many galleries across the UK including Towner and Turner England as a child. A founder of Contemporary in Margate. South Pole artist’s network and Interested artists have until 4pm, Sunday January 6 (arrival time in Queer Writing South she now Eastbourne) to post an application form, images and details of up to lives in Brighton. At the Library five pieces of work and a CV and Artist’s Statement. To download an of Memories is her third full application form visit the Towner website. length collection. She is co- translator of Elsewhere by Iztok On show in the same Osojnik with Ana Jelnikar gallery all month (until (Pighog Press, 2011) and has Sun Mar 3), BON HIVER: A co-edited several anthologies. JOURNEY THROUGH A Her poems feature in the British WINTER LANDSCAPE is a Library project Between Two Worlds and are widely anthologised: from Towner Collection display The Virago Book of Wicked Verse to This Line Is Not For Turning, which takes you on a Contemporary British Prose Poetry (Cinnamon Press 2011). journey through the winter Her drama Dementia Diaries toured nationally in 2011. landscape, featuring iconic At the Library of Memories published by Waterloo Press, works such as Eric Ravilious’s Downs in Winter and The Forked Forest www.waterloopresshove.co.uk Path by Olafur Eliasson, whose artwork The Weather Project remains More information: www.south-pole.org.uk one of Tate’s most popular Turbine Hall installations. Towner acquired [email protected] The Forked Forest Path through the Contemporary Art Society in 2003 and this is the first time the forest installation has been shown in the Maria Jastrzębska will be reading from her new collection new building. The display also features works by Christopher Wood, At the Library of Memories at: William Gear, Henri Gaudier-Brzeska, Duncan Grant, Joachim I The Needlemakers Cafe, West St, Lewes (7.45pm, Thur Jan 24) with Christine Cohen Park and Andrea Samuelson, £5/£3 in advance Koester, Edward Stott and Kelly Richardson, who is soon to solo from Skylark Bookshop, www.needlewriters.co.uk exhibit in the upcoming show Legion (Sat Feb 2–Sun April 14) and I LangeLees Café, 30 York Place, Brighton, BN1 4GU (7pm, Thurs Jan has lent a series of photographs to the show. Bon Hiver is a traditional 31) At the Library of Memories launch party, with a short reading and French greeting, which when directly translated means “good winter”. opportunities to chat. www.langelees.com It is often used for the day the first snowfall sticks to the ground. I Saltdean Library, Saltdean Lido, Saltdean BN2 8SP (7.30pm, Thur Feb 7) celebrating LGBT History Month 2013 with Evlynn Sharp of New Writing South. Tel: 01273 296921 I Envy above Charles Street Bar, Brighton BN2 1TA (4pm, Sun Feb 17) I Must Have Wanton Poets as part of B.Right.On Festival with John McCullough, Vince Laws and Max Wallis, £7/5 (£1 from each ticket goes to Rainbow Fund. For more info contact Vince on [email protected]
GSCENE 55 FROM THE BARSTOOL TO THE BOOK SHELF Former Gscene columnist, Hayley Sherman, on how to be unhappy then happy again, her Brighton journey and her debut novel, Diazepam for Sale.THE NEW ENCYCLOPAEDIA In 2004, when I moved to Brighton from a that had left me gasping for air and I’d stoppedOF BRIGHTON GOES DIGITAL small town where lesbianism hadn’t been writing, which was a huge sign that things had invented yet, I was quite literally like a kid in a to change. I confess, I ran home with my tailThe NEW ENCYCLOPAEDIA OF BRIGHTON is Candy Bar. I was wide-eyed and full of lofty between my legs, but when I got there Inow available in digital format for the first ambitions to become more of an activist, get discovered a warmth that I can’t imagine beingtime. The e-version has been updated with positively involved in my new community and without now. This is my home again andmany new sections and more listings than have a damn good time into the bargain. I Brighton is now my mistress. I love her everybefore. A vibrant guide to the city’s history probably achieved 1½ of those things and bit as much as I did when we were together,and current scene, the work features people wrote about them every month in my Gscene but now we have an understanding and whenand places alongside quotes and anecdotes column (Leaping off the Barstool). In reality, I we’re together it’s better than it ever was. Infor a fascinating insight into Brighton. spent most of my column inches taking a pop fact, it is my love of Brighton that inspired myThe e-version makes the encyclopaedia far at the frustrating and fascinating rituals of the first novel, Diazepam for Sale. Brighton isn’tmore portable than its predecessor. The 2010 lesbian breed, of which I had little experience, merely the setting of the book; it’s one of theprint version is A4 size, a coffee table but this probably offered light relief and went main characters in a story that couldn’t be toldfavourite and weighs almost 1.5kg. down better (I did cunnilingus puns too) than anywhere else in the world.Now the 370 printed pages of A–Z listings labouring the inequality that we all know abouthave been transformed into a comprehensive anyway. That’s not to say that these things I’m often asked how much of the book isdigital reference source, as heavy to carry as aren’t important, but I had moved to Toy Town autobiographical, to which I reply, ‘Are youthe e-reader of choice. This new format gives and was groovy and carefree, cute and thick? It’s a story about time travel as a curepeople the opportunity to easily take a vast awesome. I found amazing friends to play with for depression with a deranged sat-nav lady, awealth of local information out and about and suddenly felt a lot more equal than it was Frank Sinatra who’s stalked by seagulls and thearound the city. healthy for me to feel. Mods and Rockers on the West Pier. I thenIn 2010, local author and historian Rose screw up my face and they regret having everCollis was commissioned to write the print Fast-forward to 2013 and if I was going to asked. I’m nice like that! However, there areversion of New Encyclopaedia of Brighton for write a column now I might call it Inventing elements that couldn’t have been writtenpublication by Brighton & Hove City Lesbianism. You see, I’m back in my small town without my personal experiences of beingLibraries. Rose has researched and written and bloody smiley about it too. I was like the crushed by depression, lonely and searching forthe new 2012 content for the expanded e- little lad in The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, answers with which to console myself (I thinkversion. Updated sections include the AMEX going on the big journey only to find that what most of us can relate to that). The bigCommunity Stadium, Gay Brighton, seafront he really wanted existed where he first put on difference is that Emma, Diazepam’s mainand the Old Steine. his walking boots. I had a great time in character, looks for answers in all the wrongRose said: “I'm delighted with the launch of Brighton and learnt a lot, but the bosom (I did places and ends up on a surreal and damagingthe Kindle edition of the New Encyclopaedia boob puns too) of my family was always where journey. All she really had to do was look at herof Brighton. The book will be more accessible it was really at, and I don’t know how I was life and make good decisions, but that wouldn’tto readers throughout the UK and round the separated from my roots for so long. I’m now make for a very good read.world, where there are many former more comfortable in my own skin and haveBrightonians who retain a keen interest in discovered that I can be a great, gorgeous I’m now working on an equally bizarre and oddthis city and, in particular, to the many homo just about anywhere, so now I’m on a second novel, which will be out later in theoverseas visitors who come here every year. small-town tour to paint the beige people of year, The Applauding Coat Factory. It feelsI’ve also updated a large number of sections, this shithole a wonderful shade of pink. great to be writing, to be read and to knowfor instance the opening of the wonderful that people are enjoying my books. In fact, lifeAmex stadium, and made corrections to I should be honest and confess that there were feels pretty great, and not because I haveother sections. I'm particularly thrilled that other factors involved in the move. I got pretty everything I want (because I really don’t), butthe web links included in the 2010 edition ill and lost my job. I started working from because I like what I have and don’t spend myare accessible 'live' on Kindle readers.” home, but was spending more time staring time moping over and chasing what I don’t. I’m blankly at a TV screen or the sea or the bottom a simple creature and I still have a lot to learn,The digital release is suitable for Kindle and of a pint glass than was healthy. I had taken a but I try to save the big dramas and damagingother e-reading devices. The e-version is six-year journey into and out of a relationship decisions for the characters I’m writing nowavailable to buy online, providing access to and spend most of my time smiling.more information than ever before at a lowercost than the print version. Amazon is DIAZEPAM FOR SALEselling the e-version for £8.04. (Whoosh Books) is available online at Amazon. For more info about Hayley and her books, visit www.hayley- sherman.co.uk. She can also be stalked at @WhooshWords.
56 GSCENE Hove in February. First, National Co-Chairs Sue Sanders and Tony Fenwick said “Yes!”, then Gscene said “Yes!”, then the Brighton Council LGBT Worker’s Forum, Jubilee Library, Bear Patrol, Emmaus, Lunch Positive, Disability Arts Online, artists, poets, choirs and Barefoot Wine said “Yes!” and I Am A Poem turned into The B.Right.On Festival with Arts Council England support! Needless to say, I thanked the café owner for saying “No”! The B.Right.On Festival and LGBT History Month official launch (3pm, Fri 1 Feb) is at Brighton Town Hall, followed by a VIP reception in the Mayor’s Parlour! Later that evening (7–9pm), is the launch of my show, I Am A Poem, at the Jubilee Library. We kick off in the Town Hall with a filmed happening, Adopt-A-Pansy, poetry, voices, artist Mandy Webb, the Hankie Quilt and Barefoot Wine. Later in the Jubilee Library you can see my Visual Poems, the OUT140 projectTHE B.RIGHT.ON FESTIVALArtist and poet, Vince Laws, explains how a request for asmall gallery space for an exhibition grew into a festival!VINCE LAWS rather you were a prostitute than a lesbian” or with Shelly Telly, a display of BANNED books “I told my parents I was bisexual when I was and films (many with LGBT themes), poetrySo here’s how the B.Right.On Festival 16. They said ‘go to your room‘.” and Hullabaloo Community Quire (otherhappened. I went into a café in Brighton where Someone asked me, “Do you want to see the choirs are also programming events during theI used to clean the floors and asked if I could Brighton Town Hall – some lovely Old Police month).hold an art exhibition. The owner liked my Cells, and a basement fitted with shelves,work but said it was too political for his both ripe for exhibitions and performances?” I There’s a Human Library, Make Them Eatbusiness. A friend knew someone who knew said “Yes!” to the Atrium, the perfect place to Cake and Rose Collis will guide you on thesomeone at the Jubilee Library and they hang the Hankie Quilt, a memorial to those Queer Brighton Tour (11am, Sun 3), andoffered me an exhibition in February 2013. we’ve lost and those living with HIV. I’m going perform her one-woman show, Trouser-I’m going to paint the word ‘BANNED’ across to represent the 482 HIV+ people who have Wearing Characters at Envy (5pm, Sun 3).the main window in dripping blood. In the Later in the month poets Maria Jastrzebska,foyer exhibition space there’ll be some of my died in Brighton since 1982 with drops of red John McCullough, Max Wallis, Trudy Howson,Visual Poems, and giant speech bubbles from blood, and the 1,895 people living with HIV in Jay Walker, and Dolly Sen will perform andthe OUT140 project, which tells coming-out Brighton today with fresh lime leaves. A host Open Mic spots. All that and How Gay isstories in 140 characters: “Mother said I’d quarter of the people living with HIV don’t Your Pet? know it yet – early diagnosis = longer life. Then I asked if anyone else wanted to help me I’d like to thank everyone who has agreed to celebrate LGBT History Month in Brighton & take part so far, the response has been so enthusiastic. I’m calling it a celebration of Queer History Month. I don’t care what your sexuality is, or your preferred gender, it’s a celebration for everyone who realises everyone is worth celebrating. As Oscar Wilde said, “You don’t have to bat for us to admire our balls!” If you have events planned for LGBT History Month, let me know so I can include it in the programme and let as many people know as possible. For more information, or if you want to get involved please contact Vince Laws: [email protected] Also see: www.iamapoem.com
GSCENE 57B.RIGHT.ON FESTIVAL ROSE COLLIS AND HERLISTINGS SO FAR... TROUSER-WEARING CHARACTERSFRIDAY 1 FEBRUARY One performer. Two banjoleles. Four ‘trouser-wearing characters’.I BRIGHTON TOWN HALL: 3pm, filmedhappening, official launch of LGBT History show has something for everyone, whetherMonth in Brighton & Hove with Mayor and they enjoy showbiz-type anecdotes, real-lifeVIPs; unveiling of I’ll Take My Vows And Lie scandals or even just songs performed withWith You On A Bed Of Fresh Lime Leaves banjoleles! So, I hope audiences will not onlyinstallation in the atrium by Vince Laws; think, “I really enjoyed that”, but also “IMandy Webb, the Hankie Quilt, Adopt-A- never knew that!”’Pansy, poetry, voices, Make Them Eat Cakeand Barefoot Wine. The show, which had its world premiereI BRIGHTON JUBILEE LIBRARY: 7–9pm, during the Brighton Fringe Festival 2012, andfilmed performance 8pm, artistic launch of has since been performed at ManchesterVince Laws’ I Am A Poem, text installation Pride, Littlehampton Arts Festival, WoteverBANNED, display of banned books, films, World, Polari on the Southbank, WigtownVince’s Visual Poems, spoken and visual Book Festival and Brighton Pride, will bepoetry, Adopt-A-Pansy, Make Them Eat Cake, heading ‘Down Under’ in February, withBarefoot Wine, the Hullabaloo Community performances at five major venues atQuire and the OUT140 project. Auckland International Fringe Festival and Auckland Pride, New Zealand FringeSATURDAY 2 FEBRUARY Wellington, Sydney Mardi Gras Festival and Adelaide International Fringe Festival, theI JUBILEE LIBRARY: 10am–5pm, meet the second largest Fringe festival in the world.Hankie Quilt team in the foyer; BANNEDdisplay of books/films/artwork by Vince Laws. ROSE COLLIS returns to unbutton her ‘Rose Collis has the air of someone moving to critically-acclaimed TROUSER-WEARING the next level: all the elements of her previousSUNDAY 3 FEBRUARY CHARACTERS, (5pm, Sun Feb 3), with some experience researching, writing and performing additional new material, as part of the unite during this show in a natural and self-I QUEER BRIGHTON TOUR: 11am, with the B.Right.On Festival at Envy, above Charles assured way. As an author of several books,Brighton-based author and alternative Street Bar. this show is crammed full of facts andhistorian Rose Collis as your guide; starts at Trouser-Wearing Characters is the first unexpected connections. It’s more than just aJubilee Library, £7/£5 concs, £1 from every original, one-woman cabaret-style musical lecture, however: in a theatrical exploration ofticket to the Rainbow Fund. (1 hour aprox). show ever created and performed by a British colourful characters who defied expectations inI JUBILEE LIBRARY: 1pm, free LGBT Film author, and is a unique mixture of music, order to reinvent themselves, she also singsshow (and every Sun during Feb), 1st floor, history and comedy. It combines stories, and presents the material with enoughfor details call 01273 290800. vignettes and songs (evergreens and theatricality to bring her subjects to life‘ LucyI ENVY: 5pm, Rose Collis’ musical cabaret originals) about some of her favourite, Nordberg, Fringe Reviewshow TROUSER-WEARING CHARACTERS, £7/£5 eclectic ‘trouser-wearing characters’, fromconcs, £1 from every ticket to the Rainbow 1950s media star Nancy Spain to ‘…spiced with witty asides, knowing looks andFund. ‘What a BRILLIANT show!’ Julie Burchill masquerader ‘Colonel’ Victor Barker, cabaret a bright selection of songs on the banjolele… legend Douglas Byng to the ‘f**king lady’ Collis brought them to life colourfully andI’ll Take My Vows And Lie With You On A Bed herself, actress Coral Browne, with cameo sympathetically.’ The LatestOf Fresh Lime Leaves installation at Brighton ‘appearances’ by the likes of Noel Coward,Town Hall (8.30am–5pm, Mon–Fri during Marlene Dietrich and Vincent Price. This is a well-paced, fact filled one womanFeb). show about women who liked to wear trousersBANNED at the Jubilee Library is on display Trouser-Wearing Characters has a cast of and men who did anyway… She has aduring opening hours, (Fri 1–Wed 13 Feb). many characters, including Rose’s veteran charming voice and a delightful delivery…the banjoleles, ‘Alvin’ and ‘Bud’. show has just about all anyone can ask: Rose said: “Most people won’t know that, interesting content, great energy and music before I became an author and journalist, I that makes you beg for more.’ Lynn Ruth Miller, was a performer and songwriter in fringe star of ‘Britain’s Got More Talent’ theatre, from 1979 until 1985. “‘The show’s origins began with an ‘Collis’ genuine affection for her cross-dressing appearance I made at Polari on the eccentrics is the heart of this show. That Southbank and, though it was a short set, makes it work, and creates something quirky the combination of comedy, history and song and uplifting. The themes of the show stayed was a hit with the audience and it was one with me as I left the Marlborough.’ of the easiest and best ideas I’ve ever had to Mathilda Gregory, Fringe Guru develop a full-length show for the Fringe. “Trouser-Wearing Characters brings together TROUSER-WEARING CHARACTERS by Rose everything I’ve done in my careers, from Collis, directed by Matt Thompson, is at singing and writing original songs, to Envy, upstairs at Charles Street, (5pm, Sun researching and relating stories of Feb 3). Tickets £7/£5 concs, with a £1 per fascinating and quirky figures. I think the ticket donated to the Rainbow Fund. More info: www.rosecollis.com
58 GSCENE OUT & ABOUTCLASSICAL scored orchestra - just brass, without opus – meaning that it uncertainty of income now strings, organ and timpani. was only published after his death, dominating his existence, thisNOTES Composed in 1990, it stems from and this is followed by Op.1 No.3, work is still full of positivity, much his immersion in Greek Orthodoxy. composed just four years later in more relaxed in feel to the first ofBY NICK BOSTON He creates long periods of 1795. Whilst they do not sound the Op.70 set, the Ghost, which meditative calm, interspersed with revolutionary to our ears, they was on the Goulds’ first disc. TheREVIEWS outbursts from the brass and were both more substantial recordings are again live, from one timpani. Eis Thanaton, for two concert at St George’s, Bristol, andI Dutch cellist Pieter Wispelwey soloists and orchestra, was written endeavours than are full of spirit and energy. Thehas recorded the Bach Cello Suites shortly after the death of his the domestic opening Allegro of Op.1 No.3 istwice before - so why again? Well, mother in 1985, to whom he was scale trios from especially full of drive, and the very close. Again, the other composers variations which follow this has a he's reached his orchestration involves just brass, before, already graceful and sensitive touch. I’m 50th birthday, strings and timpani. An incredibly giving notice of very much looking forward to the and after haunting work, soloists Patrica the expansive direction Beethoven next volume of what is proving to exploring the Rozario and Stephen Richardson would take from here on in. be an outstanding set. works in depth excel as Mother and Son. Beethoven already uses the cello Somm SOMMCD0120 with the help of Theophany, makes use of pre- very differently in these works too,eminent Bach scholars, he has recorded tape (multi-tracked bass giving it a much more prominent For more reviews, comments andmore to say. Bach notoriously left chant and Chinese wind-gong) role. These two early works are events: nicks-classical-very little instruction for how the with orchestra, and two soloists, joined on this disc by a later work notes.blogspot.co.uksuites should be played, not just creating an otherworldly effect. from his middle period, Op.70 Email: [email protected] terms of tempi or articulation, Chandos CHAN241-42 No.2. Despite his deafness andbut even the kind of instrument onwhich to play them. So for this I The Bridge set contains 43 ROB CLARK & KATE SHIPWAY CONCERTSrecording, Wispelwey has recorded works, performed variously by thethem on a Baroque cello for the BBC National Chorus & Orchestra MARK PADMORE BRIGHTON DOMEfirst five, and a Violoncello piccolo of Wales, singers Sarah Connolly,(with an additional fifth high Philip Langridge and Roderick CAVALERI QUARTET Box office: 01273 709709, www.brightondome.orgstring) for the sixth, but he also Williams, Howard Shelley (piano) I The Brighton Philharmonic Orchestra under conductorplays them a whole tone lower and Alban Gerhardt (cello). Many SSO Barry Wordsworth perform Verdi Prelude & Triumphalthan modern pitch. This creates a March from Aida, Saint-Saëns Third Symphony, andremarkably different sound world, of these works Poulenc’s Concerto for Two Pianos (2.45pm, Sun 13), withlighter and freer, yet with an are barely known pianists Rob Clark & Kate Shipway.earthy grittiness, produced by the and rarely I Later in the month (2.45pm, Sun 27), they return withgut strings under a lower tension performed – the Haydn Symphony No.98, Mozart Symphony No.39 andthan usual, making one listen only regularly Bach’s Concerto for Violin & Oboe with Danielafresh to these incredible performed being Bhattacharya (violin) and Alun Darbyshire (oboe).masterpieces. Wispelwey talks on The Sea (composed by Brightonthe accompanying DVD about born Bridge in Eastbourne), the CORN EXCHANGEachieving the right tempi for the cello concerto Oration, anddance movements, some faster Phantasm for piano and orchestra. Church Road, Brighton,than we might be used to, making Yet there are many delights to be www.stringsattachedmusic.org.ukthem really sing with a delightful found here, including the brief yet I The Strings Attached season continuesspring. The rocking cross rhythms expressive Norse Legend and the (11am, Sun 20) with the BRITTEN SINFONIA,of the Prelude to the fourth suite ambitious early symphonic poem, joined by Mark Padmore (tenor) in music byis a highlight for me. Yet Mid Of The Night. The songs for Walton, Poulenc, Britten, Richard RodneyWispelwey doesn’t see this as his solo voice and orchestra, many of Bennett and Gerald Barry.definitive word, and talks of the them premiere recordings, arepossibility of further recordings in beautifully performed by the three ST LUKE’S CHURCHthe future – his passion for the singers. I particularly liked theSuites, almost an obsession, is impressionist Day After Day, with Queens Park Road, Brighton, www.stlukesconcerts.webeden.co.ukclearly not sated yet! highly sensitive singing from I Sarah Stevens (cello) and Rachel Fryer (piano) perform (7.30pm, FriEPR Classic EPRC0012 Connolly. Chandos CHAN10729(6)X 25) music by Britten, Bridge, Fauré and Franck. These two collections demonstrate The loss four how important Hickox was in SUSSEX DOWNS years ago of the bringing forgotten English COLLEGE great conductor, repertoire to our attention. Richard Hickox 1 Mountfield Road, Lewes, BN7 is still keenly I Hot on the heels of the success 2XH, www.nyslewes.org.ukfelt. His recordings include many of the first volume of their live I The Nicholas Yonge Societywhich amount to no less than a recordings of Beethoven Piano welcomes the CAVALERIdefinitive catalogue of music by Trios, the Gould Piano Trio are QUARTET (7.45pm, Fri 25),great English composers. I’ve been back with the second set. Here we playing Janácek, Beethoven andlistening to two – a two disc set have two early works, the first of Jonathan Harvey.by Sir John Tavener (b.1944), and which is numbered WoO 38 –The Collector’s Edition 6 disc box BISHOP HANNINGTON CHURCHset of Orchestral Works by FrankBridge (1879-1941). The Tavener Nevill Avenue, Hove, BN3 7NH, 01273 415384, www.ssomusic.co.ukset opens with We Shall See Him As I The Sussex Symphony String SoloistsHe Is, an extensive piece for conducted by Mark Andrew James performsoloists, choruses and an unusually Mozart’s Sinfonia Concertante (7.30pm, Sat 26) with Nicola Bates (violin) and Rosalind Hanson (viola), Tchaikovsky, Britten, Kalinnikov and Peter Copley.
GSCENE OUT & ABOUT 59FILM human blood for sustenance - leading to law enforcementBY MICHAEL HOOTMAN suspecting him in a series of grizzly murders SAFETY NOT GUARANTEED side of a village loner. Word on net: \"A smart, intense, Word on net: \"In the mismatch of and unpredictable film that is tons Dir: Colin Trevorrow its blankly naturalistic style and its of ghoulish fun from beginning to Stars: Aubrey Plaza, Mark Duplass, unquestionably supernatural end.” I “Very well-acted, Jake Johnson events, the film confronts us with beautifully shot, and most of all: Plot: Three magazine employees the moral openness of our own deftly directed.” I “The perfect head out on an assignment to quiet, slow-boil existential chiller interview a guy who placed a to watch alone at night, quiet and classified ad seeking a companion in a contemplative mood.\" for time travel.Word on net: \"Not only has dialogue that's about something, but secularism.” I “Film asks us if we'dcharacters who have some depth and dimension.” I “Touching, know the difference between agenerous, sweet, this little slip of a movie puts you under some kind of saviour and the devil... interestingspell.” I “Off-the-wall premise, snarky wit and heartfelt performances... enough to justify itsan inspired original.” I “The filmmaker takes you on an audacious unpleasantness.”journey and makes you believe every moment of it.” THE SESSIONS Dir: Ben LewinGRABBERS emotional true story of family Stars: John Hawkes, Helen Hunt, ALSO OUT survival.” I “Bayona, like Spielberg William H. MacyDir: Jon Wright before him, has the gumption of a Plot: A man in an iron lung who I Tom Cruise stars as action heroStars: Richard Coyle, Ruth Bradley, master manipulator, and really wishes to lose his virginity Jack Reacher, a homicideRussell Tovey doesn't hold back, holding off contacts a professional sex investigator digging deeper into aPlot: When an island off the coast catharsis, scene by scene, with all case involving a trained militaryof Ireland is invaded by the sheer chaos at his disposal.” I surrogate with the help of his sniper who shot five randombloodsucking aliens, the heroes “One of those rare films that comes therapist and priest. victims. Also stars Rosamunddiscover that getting drunk is the along once in a blue moon... Word on net: \"The movie is so Pike, Robert Duvall and art houseonly way to survive. flawless in its delivery, from script clammily sensitive and tame that it film director Werner Herzog.Word on net: \"A polished, through to production design to stifles any strong response.” I “A I Billy Crystal, Bette Midler andwatchable genre entertainment the remarkable performances from touching, profoundly sex-positive Marisa Tomei star in PARENTALthat nonetheless lacks the inspired all the cast.” film that equates sex with GUIDANCE. Artie and Diane agreedialogue and situations needed to intimacy, tenderness and emotional to look after their three grandkidsmake a memorable impression.” I QUARTET connection instead of performance, when their parents need to leave“Topping the list of great movie competition and conquest.” I “A town for work. Problems arisedrunks is Ruth Bradley whose Dir: Dustin Hoffman bit like My Left Foot only with a when the kids' 21st-centurylegless performance getting drunk Stars: Maggie Smith, Michael different appendage.” behaviours collide with Artie andas a skunk is paralytic perfection.” Gambon, Billy Connolly Diane's old-school methods.I “Is this the best alien invasion Plot: At a home for retired opera MIDNIGHT SON I Sean Penn, Ryan Gosling andcomedy ever... very possibly.” singers, the annual concert to Emma Stone star in GANGSTER celebrate Verdi's birthday is Dir: Scott Leberecht SQUAD, a chronicle of the LAPD's disrupted by the arrival of Jean, an Stars: Shawn-Caulin Young, Tracey fight to keep the East Coast Mafia eternal diva and the former wife of Walter, Arlen Escarpeta out of Los Angeles in the 1940s one of the residents. Plot: A young man called Jacob and 50s. Word on net: \"Hoffman has has a very rare skin disorder which I Quentin Tarantino's latest, worsens, forcing him to drink DJANGO UNCHAINED, stars Jamie Foxx, Don Johnson and Leonardo DiCaprio. With the help of his mentor, a slave-turned-bounty hunter sets out to rescue his wife from a brutal Mississippi plantation owner. delivered a love letter to the elderly thesps of his adoptive FILM C O M P E T I T I O N country... we can forgive him itsTHE IMPOSSIBLE falsehoods.” I “Charming and well I Successful stage musical LES acted - especially by Maggie MISÉRABLES makes it onto the bigDir: Juan Antonio Bayona Smith.” I “Tugs confidently on the screen with actors belting out theStars: Naomi Watts, Ewan heart strings.” I “Hoffman has a songs including Hugh Jackman,McGregor, Tom Holland gentle hand with his ancient cast Russell Crowe and AnnePlot: An account of a family and a doting eye for the English Hathaway. To win two tickets tocaught, with tens of thousands of country house.” the Odeon Brighton send thestrangers, in the mayhem of 2004's answer to the following questiontsunami in South East Asia. HORS SATAN to Gscene Competition, 111 Western Road, Hove, BN3 1DD:Word on net: \"The most harrowing Who wrote the novel Les Misérables?disaster movie in many a moon, Dir: Bruno Dumont Stars: David Dewaele, Alexandrafilm marries a tremendous feat of Lemâtre, Christophe Bonphysical filmmaking to an Plot: A miracle reveals an unseen DECEMBER COMPETITION: Feet.
GEEK GAMESSCENE Usually I write separate articles for comics and gaming but this month I thought I’d mix the two and write about the best comic book games.BY CRAIG STORRIE Most are fighting games (you’ve been warned) but I’ve tried to mix it up to give you a bit of choice and variety in what you should play.COMICS I ANY MARVEL V CAPCOMI Last year was a fantastic time for Superhero films, with Marvel’s The GAME: Seriously, I mean any ofAvengers (none of that silly assemble business here thank you!) the MARVEL V CAPCOM gamesbecoming the third highest grossing film ever behind Titanic and as they are all that good. TakingAvatar respectively, and The Dark Knight Rises, Christopher Nolan’s a tag team approach to things,final Batman film, amassing huge amounts of cash and brilliantly MvC is over the top with ballswrapping up the Dark Knight trilogy. Sadly there are two bad films for to the wall action and stupidlyevery good so in no particular order here are my least favourite comic awesome super moves. Being able to switch characters whenever youbook movies and why they should be avoided! like brings up loads of possible combinations and attacks that help keep the games feeling fresh and exciting. The second MvC is maybe the I BATMAN & ROBIN (1997): Responsible for pinnacle of 2D fighters let alone super hero games but try any of them ruining the Bat franchise, Batman & Robin is a out and you won’t be disappointed. lesson in how not to make a film let alone a super hero one. Bad dialogue, direction and I X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE: acting, Batman & Robin is awful in every sense Thankfully ignoring most of the of the word. The best things about it are Chris storyline of the film, Wolverine O Donnell’s Robin, who brings a lot of energy sets out to be what we all to the film, and the ever reliable Michael wanted it to be; a Wolverine Gough as Alfred, who is always marvellous, game that pulls no punches. The whilst Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Mr Freeze and 18 certificate allows the the bastardization of Bane are both developers to really unleash Logan and let him go to hell on hisunforgivable and embarrassing. If you ever get the chance to see it, enemies. It looks stunning as you cut a bloody swathe through thedrink a lot before you do! levels and the awesome damage model on Logan (depending on the damage, you can sometimes see his bones and guts) make this a gameI CATWOMAN (2004): Whilst it took Warner to remember!Bros four films to ruin Batman, they somehowmanaged to kill off and piss all over Catwoman I THE WALKING DEAD: Probably the best adaptation of the comics, thisin just one! Halle Berry is fantastically takes place in the same universe but with all new characters andmiscast as made up Catwoman Patience stories. It features fantastic and emotional voice acting, an ingeniousPhillips, an artist who gains cat like powers story line and so many different outcomes to every situation that itafter a near death experience. Having bad needs to be played more than twice to see a fraction of what it has tocharacterisation, no real story, a lack of strong offer. First being released as a download-only title, Telltale Games havecharacters and shite action sequences such as really pushed the envelope on what downloadable titles could achieve.a badly CGI’d Halle Berry bouncing around likea cat. Even her whip, Catwoman’s signature I BATMAN ARKHAM ASYLUM & CITY: There really isn’t anything I canweapon, is CGI! Compare this to Michelle say about these two games that hasn’t already been said. They arePfeiffer, the previous Catwoman who learned how to use the whip like possibly the pinnacle of super hero gaming, so just buy them now anda pro. Avoid avoid avoid! play the hell out of them. It’s a choice you won’t ever regret. I ELEKTRA (2005): A semi-sequel to the much I SCOTT PILGRIM V THE superior Daredevil, the film finds the recently WORLD: Another downloadable returned from the dead Elektra (Jennifer title that sticks close to its Garner) training to become a ninja. Expelled comic roots, this is a scrolling from the order due to her rage, Elektra strives beat em up where you destroy to cleanse her soul but also to save a young many bad guys before facing girl who has been discovered as a martial arts and defeating your lover prodigy. The worst thing about Elektra is how Ramona’s seven evil exes. Looking like it’s ripped straight from the page much of a missed opportunity it is; Garner is and having some awesome chip tune music, it isn’t a long game but as always fantastic and some of the characters more than worth a download just to play through once. are genuinely brilliant (such as the reimagingof Typhoid Mary). Sadly the story is rubbish and it all feels so boring Notable mentions: Spider-Man 2, X-Men Legends 1 and 2, Marveland a massive let down. It is a crying shame as the pieces are all Ultimate Alliance 1 and 2, Spider-Man (PS1) and Turtles In Time.there; it just needed a better story and much more oomph to it. Go forth and enjoy! More reviews on Craig’s blog: www.redbarrels.netI X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE (2009)Produced by Hugh Jackman, directed byAcademy Award winning Gavin Hood and co-written by David Benioff it had all of theright names and potential attached to it. Whatwe actually got was something we definitelydidn’t see coming! It ruined alreadyestablished continuity, has dreadful actionscenes and leaves you with a bad taste in yourmouth. Play the amazing video game instead!
GSCENE 61 was a result of the baby. When he’d noticed the quadrupling food bills and the daily black plastic sacks, he knew otherwise. He let it all go. When he got in from work, he didn’t want the aggravation. It was calmer not to question. ‘I don’t want to have to get rid of this, Michael.’ Here we go, he thought. ‘Yes, I know Tracy.’ ‘And you were the one who wanted a family, remember?’ Unconsciously, he waited for her to say this; it was always carefully placed in the conversation whenever he hadn’t done something, or had done something and screwed it up. It was used to force him to the wedding and then to punish him when he failed to deliver the goods.MONTHLY SERIAL BY CARL OPREY And, whenever she said it, he felt the euphoria about what he thought he stillEPISODE 4 same; he didn’t fit either, or settle for wanted, slowly dwindle away. BecauseA prod to the shoulder woke Michael and that matter. The addition of Tracy only deep down he knew, what he wantedhis eyes focused on Sean Matthews’s made the place significantly smaller. wasn’t just a child, what he wanted wasbusiness card swinging in front of his belonging.face. Within a few seconds he ‘Look, I fucked it up, okay? I drank,’ heremembered fragments: the house, the said, before she could. ‘We’re not doing this without any money,old man, Alex’s face as he was marched ‘I know. You really did fuck it up.’ Michael.’down the driveway by the security men. ‘I know, Tracy.’Everything else he’d forgotten, including Michael removed the towel they used ashow he’d made the journey home. a muffler, yanked open the window and He now sat on the sofa holding his thrust his head into the roar of the A12. head. Tracy tapped the spacebar on theSummoning every reserve he had, When he’d convinced himself he wasn’t keyboard, and woke up the computer.Michael jumped up to his feet. going to throw up, he walked to the‘I’m late for work.’ kitchen area, opened the fridge and ‘Was there anyone there dressed as aHe stumbled around the sofa looking for drank milk straight from the carton. bride?’ she said.his shoes. Tracy followed him. ‘Oh god, not again. I’ve told you, there‘It’s Sunday,’ Tracy said. ‘The one day I ask you not to screw were two grooms…’ things up…’ ‘Not, ‘two grooms’ as in a doubleMichael stood for a few moments in the wedding?’centre of the living area of what was his She slapped a taxi receipt for £225 onto ‘No, two grooms as in a gay wedding.’first proper home. Sold to him as a part the fridge top, then counted out fourrental ‘Starter-partment’, it was to be his cashpoint receipts from separate Tracy exhaled and began typing.first step on the property ladder. machines. ‘OK. On to plan B, then.’ ‘Took a little tour to pay the taxi, huh?’Bracewell, the company he worked for, She pulled up a map on the computersanctioned the mortgage on a fixed deal Michael closed his eyes and drained the screen. A large red arrow pointed to thehe could barely afford, even back then. carton, placing it back empty. Then he centre of London.The place lost a quarter of its equity watched Tracy waddle towards the ‘UCH,’ she said, ‘University Collegewithin a few hours of signing the forms, makeshift computer table. Hospital. Where he works.’and within a year the building haddegenerated into a Po-Mo hovel. The She’d said the weight she’d piled onto Michael rubbed his face with his hands.sash windows didn’t open properly her already large frame was a result of It was noon and already he wanted thebecause they’d stopped fitting when the the baby. Just as all the throwing up, day to end.building had settled. Michael was the ‘And this time, Michael, I’m coming with you.’ © Carl Oprey
62 GSCENE FLOATING WEEDS (Eureka blu-ray). Ozu's late masterpiece looks at a group ofSHOPPING travelling kabuki actors. The ageing leader of the troupe is reunited with his formerWITH MICHAEL HOOTMAN lover – to the annoyance of his current mistress – and tries to play a part in the life of his son who believes the man is his uncle. The film is something of a slow burner, like most of the director's work. As it unwinds it seems quite slight, perhaps even occasionally dull, but by the end it's absolutely compelling. All the characters are treated with warmth and respect and although the hero is flawed to say the least, his portrayal is perfectly realised. GATE OF HELL (Eureka blu-ray). Kinugasa's 1953 film is at the opposite end of the spectrum from Ozu. A rip-roaring, medieval melodrama filmed in gloriously saturated colour, it focusses on Morito, a samurai warrior, who falls in love with a women from the Emperor's court. After being granted anything he desires by the Emperor, Morito requests Lady Kesa's hand in marriage. However, Kesa is already married to a fellow samurai... The film is a brilliant depiction of sexual obsession; it feels like a straight version of opera complete with its tragic ending. Looking at this beautifully restored high-def transfer you can see why Martin Scorsese named Gate of Hell as one of the ten greatest colour achievements in world cinema. A discreet place to put condoms. Book Boxes, £16 - other sizes and styles available (Edited, 3 Gardner St, Brighton, editedbrighton.com)The Cardome January Sale offers discounts oncards of 15% for five or more plus 20% off allBanksy canvas prints (47a St James’ St,Brighton, 01273 692916, www.cardome.co.uk)Orla Kiely Retro Thermos Flask, £21 (Pussy, 3aKensington Gardens, Brighton, 01273 604861)Gorilla Lamp, £89.99 (England at Home, 59Ship St, 01273 738270)
64 GSCENESHOPPINGWITH MICHAEL HOOTMAN Fetishwear PROWLER GETS TO Spectacular! THE BOTTOM OF BEL AMI Jocks from £16.99, Harnesses from £35 We’re sure that many a gay man has fantasised(Prowler, 112 St James' St, about penetrating the inner sanctums of theBrighton, 01273 683680) Bel Ami boys, especially those lucky enough to meet them in the flesh when they appeared in Prowler Soho last year. Whilst sadly they can’t offer the boys’ bare butts for real, the gang at Prowler have the next best thing – the new Bel Ami Fleshjack masturbators. Specially moulded from the ‘love canals’ of the stars themselves, you can take your pick from the delicious Dolph Lambert, Jean-Daniel Chagall, Kevin Warhol or Kris Evans. Nice and tight on entry, then opening up to give you the ultimate sensation, Prowler Brighton has them in stock for £61.99 (112-113 St James’ Street, Brighton, BN2 1TH. Tel: 01273 683 680).It's the rage that's sweeping the nation – the 3D moustache badge, FLESHJACK COMPETITION£5 (Kiss Me Kwik, 4 George St, Brighton, 01273 571757 or direct One lucky guy is going to be walking around town with a smile on his from craftyoldcrow.co.uk) face, thanks to Prowler. The gang are giving away a Bel Ami Fleshjack ‘bottom’. Simply answer this question for your chance to win: Which famous gay porn studio has teamed up with Fleshjack? Send your answer on a postcard to: Bel Ami Fleshjack Competition, Gscene Magazine, 111 Western Rd, Hove, BN3 1DD and say whose bottom you would prefer!
CRAIG’S THOUGHTS GSCENE 65 CRACKING ON the last time a woman put herself forward for a leadership contest of the Conservative Party? 1975 and she won – we must not allow that OR; THIS IS A MAN’S WORLD again. At the most recent leadership election for the Labour Party there AND IT HAD BETTER STAY THAT WAY was one female candidate, Diane Abbott. She came sixth. Last. Are BY CRAIG HANLON-SMITH there really no suitable women for such a position or have the negative memories of Margaret Thatcher tainted the path less trodden forAs the season to be jolly and its preceding year disappears behind a women forever?thick cloud of Channel 5’s 100 Worst Celebrity ****Ups and under thecover of darkness we guiltily borrow half a recycling box from the old In April last year I wrote an (other) article on the subject of gaydear next door to both simultaneously hide our festive drink problem marriage which I swore to be my last word on the subject. Ahem. Butfrom ourselves, and rather cruelly, cast our neighbour as an old soak to in the spirit of these thoughts, just what is it of which we [society atthe bin men (I know that’s not particularly diverse but they are always large] are so afeard that the voices of objection consider themen. Always); we laughingly reach for the back of a soon to be possibility of success worth the effort. There cannot really be a fear ofshredded Christmas card and sketch out the life improving revolutions two men or two women legally re-enforcing their relationship, the fearthat we promise to keep until approximately January 4th. must be a real phobia for change and how it might impact ‘me’. As harsh as it may sound we are quite a self-centred lot, never reallyLet us not be too cynical about the tradition of self-improvement, concerned with the behaviour of others unless there is a fear ofsetting goals is a great way to mark out a path of acceleration and ramifications upon the self, which during the festival of Epiphany whenchange, but a trying one devoid of any meaningful point if we do not we remember the bringing of the gifts to the Christ child, is a tador cannot stick to it. Statistics (yawn) teach us that by mid-January ironic.more than 50% of resolutions made will have been cast aside alongwith the dried up naked skeleton of a Christmas tree, and that by the And whether it is the idea of gender equality or same-sex marriage orfollowing December less than 10% of us will have successfully steered both that might affect you, and you continue to celebrate thealong the path of self improvement and across the finish line. So why possibility of social change for the greater good of your ownthe failure? Well, it’s quite possibly not such a surprise. community, it surely cannot be so difficult to plan and stick to a programme of self-improvement for more than three days should that“Was there a concern that be to ‘eat less chocolate’ or ‘swim more’. Whether 2013 is our time or ordination ceremonies if led by not, whether we believe it is now our right to be equal or not, it is still women would be littered with quips worth acknowledging that we are asking others to accept and support from Victoria Wood sketches?” quite monumental changes to how the world has been for decades, centuries, nay millennia. And whilst I do not for a second advocate theBy enlarge the intention is a positive one, a new year, new beginnings opposite argument to my own (for I am an Aries), we should live byand as the Magi leave their gifts in the stable at the foot of baby Jesus the social codes we dictate. Don’t judge a man until you’ve beenwe simply try to have an epiphany of our own. But perhaps equally as standing in his shoes. They may after all be flip-flops sold in Primark,inappropriate as the gift of gold to a child sleeping on bale of hay in and that’s never a good look.the shadow of a donkey, the goals we set are a bridge of change toofar. The trouble is that as a society at large we are not built for the ****used as my mother tells me I swear too much in these f*ckingeasy acceptance of change, whether it be the coach potato’s articles and it’s not smart. New Year’s resolution 2013 to be a completeintroduction of a four times a week visit to the gym or a radical f*cking smart ass.alteration of diet; and if our culture demands the process to be adifficult one, we are sure to follow suit; or the other way round – You can follow Craig on twitter @CHanlonSmith and listen to hiseither/or it’s a stop-start cycle of accepting the status quo. On the occasional witterings on BBC Sussex& Surrey Drive-Time with Sarahwhole, when we are ready to embrace change, we would rather it was a Gorrell.slow gentle introduction of mild differences that will not frighten thehorses than an earthquake flattening of our former selves. To presshome the point, let us look no further that at two mighty bedrocks ofour green and pleasant land currently shivering at the possible onset ofchange; The Church of England and Marriage.2012 drew to a close with The Church of England General Synod votingnot to allow women to become bishops. In 2012? How shameful. Wasthere a concern that ordination ceremonies if led by women would belittered with quips from Victoria Wood sketches? Or perhaps that thelocal Anglican Cathedral would suddenly find its stained glass windowsframed with floral drapes? Or perhaps more troubling that despite ourprotestations to the opposite we are still a patriarchal sexist bunchwho would much rather have a man sitting in the pilot seat becausethat is how it was when we were children.It is now almost 25 years since we had a woman Prime Minister livingin Downing Street and we have not even come close since. When was
66 GSCENE lonely middle-aged lesbian, which I’m not at all. So now I’m too terrified to use the thing again, apart from gazing at her picture nowSHARP WORDS and again which is quite okay because I’m a netizen and reckon that it’s in the public domain so not too strange. TIME FLIES If I want to talk to my friends I call them, talk for half an hour DEL SHARP ON TIME, AND before meeting them in a café and then not saying much at all. If I NEVER HAVING ENOUGH OF IT want to talk to my friends abroad I can pick up the phone and sometimes we use Skype and compare our stomachs. That’s all muchSharp Words is dismayed; the end of another year spent more normal interaction, isn’t it?procrastinating over my endless lists of things to do which seem toget longer while all I do is change the ‘to do by’ date on them, which So I don’t have FOMO at all; I talk to and see people, sometimes invaguely makes it all seem better until I realise nothing has actually real life and have no need for Tweeting because I haven’t worked ithappened and then my only sense of achievement is having more time out yet, but it’s on a list somewhere of something I possibly mightto try and get the said things done. have a moment for.I’ve been living in my flat for eight years and still not unpacked “I have no need for Tweetingseveral boxes in the shed, the content I can’t even imagine, mostlybecause I put even that off. I seem to while away huge chunks of because I haven’t worked that outtime with inexplicable flashbacks of T.J. Hooker episodes, occasionallyscrubbing the bathroom grouting with a nailbrush and sometimes yet either but it’s on a list somewherehaving a job to go to, then find with a real and frightening shock thatanother year has passed me by. of something I possibly might haveI seem to be busy much of the time but can’t actually find the a moment for”evidence of what I’ve done. I think I may have a fear of time. I know Ican’t get things done in allotted spaces of it so often my immediate But in the meantime I’m far too busy with a mobile and a landline. Ireaction is to lie under the duvet for a bit in order to consider my plan check them constantly, not to see if I’ve missed anything, but just ifof action. Then I wake up and realise there’s less time. Then I waste they’re working. That takes up a great deal of my busy day. I wastime panicking and getting palpitations which requires a glass of wine greatly distressed recently to answer the phone to a deep male voiceand a sit down. Another x amount of hours gone. intoning, “You are running out of time!” I could only squeak in terror, something somewhere had found me out, knew I kept hiding underI have experimented on days when I don’t have to be anywhere, see the duvet and was now in a mood to take its revenge and chastise meanyone or get to bed at a particular time and have just not looked at for my tardiness. Of course it continued on to be a recorded messagethe clock. On those days I do lots of things: chores, send birthday about the PPI I never took out but it shook me up dreadfully,cards, make petit fours, create elaborate vintage style soft furnishings, stopped me doing whatever I hadn’t started and I had to lie down.construct Shaker-style units for the kitchen and cook lavish meals; Practically another day gone and all through no fault of my own.and all before I decide to go to bed. Well maybe not the post box bit,that would be pushing the envelope. But I get more done anyway. I have another year in my grasp, I resolve to stick to my lists, not let any 1980s cop show visions ruin my concentration, let alone anyMaybe that’s the secret to huge amounts of productivity, just not stray Cagney & Lacey theme tune humming ruin my next big projectlooking at our watches all the time. I try not to look at mine anyway and I will show old mean nasty Mother Time what I’m really made of.mostly because it’s an hour ahead and I don’t know how to change it. I have twelve months, but I might have to just check in aroundI do have the instructions but just haven’t got round to reading them October to ask for a little longer in case something comes up. But I’myet. I rely on my phone to tell me what hours are left in the day but sure the rest of you will have a very happy New Year, just make surealso have it close at all times to remind me how many, or few, friends you have enough time for it.want to contact me.“I’ve only been on Facebook a handful of times. I didn’t understand it and as far as I can remember have left the settings as ‘leave me alone’”I heard of FOMO recently, no doubt long after everyone else, which isthe Fear of Missing Out and the phenomena of using socialnetworking, Tweeting, Facebook and mobiles, to constantly updatewhat anyone is doing at anytime, anywhere and being a part of a busygaggle of a connected crowd. Well I’m not one of them. I’ve only beenon Facebook a handful of times. I didn’t understand it and as far as Ican remember have left the settings as ‘leave me alone’ or some such,although I did use it to send a clumsy message to someone I likedwho didn’t reply then realised it made me look like a weird, stalkerish,
GSCENE 67HOMELY VRON’SHOMILY VOICEBY GLENN STEVENS BEST INTENTIONSA HELPING HAND As I write this, the winter solstice is almost upon us. To paraphrase an old song - another year older and deeper in debt. 2012 has been aHow was your Christmas? More like the John Lewis ad, rather than an tough, belt-tightening year for many of us, a year of spectacularepisode of EastEnders I hope. And as for presents, did you get change and disruption. I’m sick and tired of hearing about austerity,everything you asked for from Santa? As for me, the one thing I surely one of the most over-used words in the English language rightwished for the most (along with a onesie, a selection box of Ferrero now. What, I wonder, will 2013 bring? More joys than woes, let’s hope.Rocher and the box set of Stephen King films) was A Round Tuit.You see, it is one of those gifts that promise to transform your life. As So, as the old year wanes, it’s resolution time again and, as usual, Isoon as I heard about this thing called A Round Tuit, I had the same am positively brimming over with good intentions for the New Year. Ifeeling of excitement I had back when I was a kid, reading the ads in will:the back of my old comic collection that promised I could see thebones in my hands with their X-Ray specs, or watch prehistoric 1. Become an early riser again. My sleep patterns have been somewhatcreatures called Amazing Sea-Monkeys come to life. erratic in recent months and – after a succession of broken nights – I often oversleep, resulting in much reduced energy levels. Hence, I Although I was a little have lost the habit of setting aside mornings for ‘creative’ stuff. By cautious about putting A the time I’ve bathed and breakfasted, it’s well past what used to be Round Tuit on my Christmas my ‘start’ time for writing, and yet I feel like I’ve already done a day’s list, having in my youth learnt work. to my (pocket money) cost that although those X-Ray 2. Keep a diary. Apart from anything else, this is a good, constructive specs just made your eyes go a daily exercise, interesting to reflect on in the future, however trivial bit funny, and the Amazing certain entries might seem in hindsight. Julia Cameron, in her Sea-Monkeys were nothing inspirational book, The Artist’s Way, recommends writing three A4 more than water shrimps, A morning pages, a daily discipline which she sees as a kind of Round Tuit just might just be imaginative ‘trigger’. And who could forget movie legend Mae West’s the miracle object my heart exhortation to ‘keep a diary – and it may end up keeping you’! had always desired. You see, throughout 2012 I kept “I shall delay switching on my laptop promising myself that I’d get until noon to try and cut back on one all those odd jobs done; from of the main forms of ‘displacementbeing more proactive within the community, sending off my writing activity’: i.e. Googling, checkingprojects to potential publishers and the most daunting project of all, emails, responding to emails”sorting out my desk and the oh so ironically labelled ‘tidy draw’; all Ineeded to do was to get ‘around to it’ (getit?) 3. Stop being a computer slave. I shall delay switching on my laptop until noon at the earliest. This is to try and cut back on one of thePart of the problem many of us face is that sometimes projects seem main forms of ‘displacement activity’ known to us scribes: i.e.either too easy to complete and so are put off until the next day, or Googling, checking emails, responding to emails. A case of ‘delayedthe thought of getting to grips with the bigger challengers just feels gratification’ instead? My world will not collapse if I do this. My mindso daunting that we end up shying away from them altogether. will feel all the clearer, less cluttered, for making mornings a technology-free zone. I shall substitute my mouse for pen and paper,“Part of the problem many of us although I really must do something about improving my handwriting, face is that sometimes projects seem which is atrocious. Even I myself cannot always decipher it. either too easy to complete and so are put off until the next day” 4. Avoid negative people – the Jeremiahs of this world, who put a damper on our delights and enthusiasms. Being a glass-half-emptyOne of the easiest ways and at the same time perhaps one of the type myself, I have to be extra vigilant in order to stave off such folk.hardest things for many of us to do is to reach out and ask others for They act as drains on our energies and self-esteem – beware!help in getting things done. This has been recognised as particularlytrue for older gay men living with HIV. This could be down to any 5. Make time for meditation. I have one CDnumber of factors, from slipping into routines that have led to containing “six inspiring tracks of calmingunintentional isolation, either through no longer finding the pub/club ambient sounds and rhythms to soothe bodyscene as attractive as it use to be, or not wanting to go to social and mind”. And yes, it’s soothing enough. Butevents alone; or even wanting to get a pet project underway but have my favourite is a cassette, given to me by alost the confidence to even get it started. kind friend who helped me through the break- up of a long relationship. It consists of 20Last year I joined up with the group Peer Action, who over the last 19 minutes of guided meditation by a woman whose gentle, mellow voicemonths have been reaching out to the HIV community and in itself represents the perfect antidote to any tensions.empowering this particular group to revaluate their lives, recognisetheir skill sets, and with the support of their peers get back into a These are long-term objectives of course, and it’s unlikely that I willsocial routine or undertake a new project. have accomplished them all by 2014. But hey, just listing them as I’ve done here, is a start.As much as I’m going to treasure my A Round Tuit, I know thatreaching out and asking others for their support and help will be themost valuable gift I’ll embrace this year.
68 GSCENE I imagine that some of you reading this might be open-mouthed at this point. Even as I write this I shudder at how utterly alien all of thisKEITH SHARPE sounds to most modern ears. But you need to know that significant numbers of your compatriots actually believe these things. (Don’t forget TRUE COLOURS this is also the position of the Roman Catholic Church and many non- Christian religions as well). These arguments have been rehearsed again A TRIUMPH FROM DISASTER? and again over the past two decades. Until the 20th November, the BY DR KEITH SHARPE, Church of England had arrived at a point where essentially the Anglo CHANGING ATTITUDE SUSSEX Catholic/Conservative Evangelical opposition had accepted that women bishops were an inevitability, and what they wanted was ‘properTuesday, 20th November 2012 is a date which will go down as a fateful provision’ for themselves to carry on with their anti-women’s ordinationday in the history of Christianity in this country. The media headlines stance while remaining within the C of E. The proposed legislationwere all about the Church of England voting against women being included provision for every diocese to set up a code of practice so thatallowed to become bishops. But actually the ramifications of the no parishes which did not want to be subject to a woman bishop couldvote go far wider. request ‘alternative episcopal oversight’ i.e. be looked after by a male bishop.I sat through the entire Synod debate in Church House, Westminster. Itwas a sobering experience. The whole day was given over to this one And this is where we get a cruel twist. The unholy alliance did not thinkissue: should the proposed legislation to admit women to the the provision in the proposed motion was sufficient. But also, someepiscopate by passed or rejected? Well over 100 speeches were made. supporters of women bishops felt it was far too generous, and ifThe motion was generally expected to be approved but as the afternoon implemented would effectively relegate women to being second classwore on I became less and less certain that it would be. Just before bishops. So some of them voted against it as well.lunch the incoming new Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, hadspoken powerfully and cogently in favour. And just after lunch the The rest is history as they say. But the consequences are profound.outgoing Archbishop, Rowan Williams, made a really moving and Suddenly vast numbers of ordinary people who have little or nothing toimpassioned plea for Synod to support the legislation. But gradually the do with the Church have become animated about this. They haveweight of opposition against it began to become clear as speaker after realised that we have a national church, and that this national churchspeaker got up to condemn it. which is actually part of our national life is completely out of step with contemporary values and standards of human decency. Synod is divided into three ‘houses’ : bishops, Many ordinary people who thought nothing of it before are now clergy, and laity. The House of Bishops were scandalised by the idea of the ‘stained-glass ceiling’ which means only overwhelmingly for, but even there some argued men can be promoted within the C of E hierarchy against the measure, including our own Bishop of Chichester, Martin Warner. The House of Clergy was “Many ordinary people who thought also predominantly in favour but here too some nothing of it before are now scandalised spoke passionately against it. But in the House of by the idea of the ‘stained-glass ceiling’ Laity there seemed to be a surprisingly large which means only men can be promoted number of people anxious to get to the podium to within the C of E hierarchy” vent their fervent disapproval of the proposedchange. The motion needed a two thirds majority in each house in order The consequences are far-reaching. The 26 seats in the House of Lordsto pass. It got this easily in the House of Bishops, and by some margin reserved for bishops are effectively reserved for males only, not now byin the House of Clergy. But in the House of Laity it only achieved 64% tradition, but by deliberate vote. Many ordinary people whosupport and so fell short, just. thought nothing of it before are now scandalised by the idea of the ‘stained-glass ceiling’ which means only men can be promoted within theHow could this happen? Basically it came about because of an unholy C of E hierarchy. This is intolerable. Questions have been asked inalliance between extremely conservative Anglo Catholics and extremely Parliament. One wag said amusingly but correctly that our nationalconservative Evangelicals. This alliance is cynical and unholy because ‘broad church’ had been destroyed by a few narrow minds.the two groups hold diametrically opposed views of almost everythingelse. They only agree that women cannot be ordained, and they agree And yet for those of us who are LGBT it may be good news. Politicianson this for totally different reasons. are seriously reconsidering the exemptions given to the churches from equality legislation. The driver will be gender equality but sexuality willThe Anglo Catholics think that women cannot be priests (and therefore be included with it. The credibility of all our Christian enemies has beenbishops) because Christ chose only males for his disciples. This is not seriously weakened and they will find that in future when they spoutthe place to go into the labyrinthine argumentation which this premise their bile about the sinfulness of homosexuality nobody will listen toentails. Suffice to say that the consequence is that it is for them them. Now that conservative Anglicans have overplayed their hand onimpossible for a female to become a priest. So putting a woman the inferiority of women they have blown the cover of all conservativethrough an ordination ceremony is merely a charade: the magic can’t Christians. The general public now see them now for what they are, and‘work’, it just doesn’t ‘take’, you end up with a female in fancy dress. mostly they don’t like what they see. Nor I believe does the Carpenter of Nazareth.The Conservative Evangelicals think that women should not be priests.They don’t believe in the Catholic sacrament of ordination for men or OPEN AND WELCOMING CHURCHESwomen, but they do believe that women should never play leadershiproles because of the God ordained ‘headship’ of males. They think that Changing Attitude Sussex is committed to telling the truth aboutin Genesis in the Old Testament, and in St Paul in the New Testament, Christian teaching on homosexuality, and works for the full inclusion ofGod clearly sets men over women and so females should obey males and LGBT people in every province of the Anglican Communion and morealways be subject to male authority. Letting women be priests and widely in all Christian Churches. For more info please visitbishops therefore represents a grave act of disobedience to the www.changingattitudesussex.com and www.thegaygospels.com(supposedly) clear teaching of the Bible. It is abhorrent to God.
NETTY’S GSCENE 69WORLD QUEERYINGUP THE RESOLUTION QUEENIEIf it’s the first of January then I’m probably feeling hung-over, fat BY QUEEN JOSEPHINEand furious. It’s also roughly 364 days since I last gave a shit aboutresolutions. ENDURING JANUARYThe trouble with resolutions in Brighton is that they fail miserably. Well, I’ve just done something I rarely do; I’ve looked back at JanuaryBrighton is a saucy tart; a Regency doxy lifting her skirts and 2012’s Querying Queenie to see what the bloody buggery I blithered onwaggling her rump in our helpless faces. Amid the myriad of about, and I discovered that whilst my New Year’s Resolutions weretemptation this city of vice thrusts at us on a daily basis, alcoholic quite thin on the ground (I’d vowed to take up petty crime, join arevelry is the main offender all year round. Flock Of Seagulls tribute band and play badminton every day) they were also completely ridiculous and just a little bit sarcastic becauseSo, take alcohol. Mine’s a large red wine thank you very much. The that’s how I generally feel in January. Ridiculous and sarcastic. I’dbest way to avoid a hangover is to stay in and drink tea. But ‘tis the thought of such stupid resolutions because they were just as likely toseason to be jolly… jolly off your trolley. It’s all well and good to come true as the more traditional ones.know how to drink on New Year’s Eve, but when you wake up and it’sNew Year’s Day, it’s time to pay the piper… with pain. If you’re not So no more feelings of failure to come this year as this old lady ain’tentirely au fait with the demonology of drink, you need an expert to resolving to do anything. But to pour some light over this supposedguide you through the evil hangover process. Reader, I am she. month of doom I’m going to find some positives for January 2013…On the subject of hangovers, or I as I call them ‘the wrath of grapes’, 1. Now for those of you like me whoif there’s one word I can’t say often enough, it’s ‘water’. The brain get paid on the ‘last working day ofliterally shrivelling through dehydration causes most headaches the month’, January seems like itassociated with booze. Ensure you place a pint of water by your bed lasts for at least two months. This isbefore you go out, that way you know whatever state you return in usually due to getting the Xmas(if you return at all), you will be just an arm’s length from salvation. wages early (good on 24th December, bad a few days later) and to going“On the subject of hangovers, or I out on NYE and spending the entire as I call them ‘the wrath of grapes’, month’s food budget in a few crazy if there’s one word I can’t say often hours (none of which you can enough, it’s ‘water’” remember come 2nd January). But let this not be a terrible time of misery and self-loathing. Make it ‘creativeIf you’ve had a particularly heavy session you may wake feeling cookery’ month by trying to create interesting and innovative mealssurprisingly okay, on some occasions I’ve felt positively euphoric. This from practically nothing with what’s left (festering) in the back of thephenomenon is what is known in our house as a ‘false dawn’. You’re cupboard/fridge/freezer. Your self worth will soar as you lovinglyactually still drunk. Unless immediate action is taken to counteract present a pea risotto made entirely from escaped peas scraped out oflast night’s shenanigans, within two hours you’ll be in a foetal the freezer ice and an Ainsley Harriot risotto-in-a-packet that you don’tposition crying for your mum. even remember buying. My advice is to eat whatever 2. Getting on the scales will become an exciting daily activity as you you fancy, drink a bath of tea, chalk up all the weight you’re losing due to the pea risotto diet. and reminisce with a good friend or lover about the fun 3. Not turning on the heating to save money gives you an opportunity you had growing your to wear all your clothes at once. And the fact this means you can’t hangover. Enjoy it, soon only move doesn’t matter because you can’t afford to go out anyway. A millionaires will be able to double whammy of joy. afford to drink excessively. If it’s not a school night, you 4. The days are getting longer. Honestly.could go to your favourite gay pub and order a large Bloody Mary. Thetabasco will stimulate ‘pleasure from pain’ endorphins, and you can 5. Having not made any resolutions you can bask in the glory of notstart all over again. feeling the crushing disappointment that most of your friends are feeling having failed miserably to keep theirs.I’m a true believer in turning over new leaves, but come January thetree of my resolve is bare. The beginning of the year is so miserable 6. February is coming and it’s a shorter month.it’s the one time we humans should be indulging in anything thatcheers us up. That’s why I make my life-enhancing decisions in “My predictions for 2013 are thatSeptember, at the end of the summer madness with the Christmas Painting By Numbers will becomestress still a distant threat on the horizon. the nation’s favourite pastime”In short, we can’t change the past so let it go. We can change the So there you are, January is not a depressing time, merely somethingfuture, but only by enjoying life right now. So if you’re worrying of an endurance test. Last year I made three predictions and,about the evils of drink or the guilty pleasures you’ve indulged in amazingly, two of these came true. We won bucket loads of medals inover this festive season, you’ll know what you really should give up. the Olympics/Paralympics and West Ham got promoted. So myWorrying. predictions for 2013 are that Painting By Numbers will become the nation’s favourite pastime as there will be a backlash against all computerised art, and I will get my own TV cookery show called Queenie Cooks Crap. Ridiculous and sarcastic, moi? Happy New Year xxxxxx
70 GSCENE result of gross misrepresentation, racism and gay hatred, I wont say ‘ICHARLIE SAYS told you so’. I won’t say ‘I told you so’ when catastrophes like RESOLUTIONS Hillsborough are finally exposed in the favour of the victims and their CHARLIE BAUER PhD ON WHAT families. When the people who HE WILL BE, AND WON’T BE, carried away the dying were then DOING IN 2013. accused of rifling through the pockets of the dead by the sameI never look back and I never look forward, so when I was asked for tabloids. I won’t say ‘I told you so’ when the Mayan calendar andmy New Year’s resolutions, I began by thinking what had to be Nostradamus predictions have come to nothing this month and thatresolved in the here and now. Being an amateur etymologist, I came January is still going to be there, all gray and rainy as it always was. Iup the further definition of re-solving some of the bugbears of the last promise, I’ll never say ‘I told you so’ ever again. Honest.year. The implication being that if issues weren’t solved first timearound they’ll unknowingly linger someplace in the background like a 6. I promise that I wont sabotage my associates’ lectures if I thinkherpes zoster. they’re irrelevant. I won’t tamper with PowerPoint presentations on their memory sticks and fill up their lecture notes with what I think the 1. I’m going to have another try but we students need to hear. I won’t encourage the apathetic student body to keep inching away from it - World riot, either. I will take their values into account. Even the lazy ones Peace. There, I’ve said it. Just as I who are only doing a degree to get a job and nothing more. And I won’t thought we were going to actually get question the religious extremists who for some reason have undertaken through the year concentrating only on the important matters of global an English Literature degree without capitalism, Israel kicks off at Palestine. realising that they will have to deal with I mean, don’t they know this stuff costs feminism, communism, ‘weird writing us all money? America, however, had shit’ and sodomites. I won’t sit on their own weapon of mass distraction academic board meetings secretly and sent over Hillary Clinton who wishing that they were all dead, or that slapped their wrists and sent them both there could be a freak earthquake wherehome. This is why we need more women in high-end political roles. only certain students and myself survive.This, Daddy Santa, is my first wish and I resolve to use what vote orsurplus cash that I have to get Hillary into the White House in 2016, “I won’t question the religious extremistswith Michelle Obama as her VP. It has to be worth it for the glamouralone. who for some reason have undertaken 2. I won’t leave my good underwear in an English Literature degree without The Bushes any more. realising that they will have to deal with feminism, communism, ‘weird writing shit’ and sodomites” 3. I’ll stop worrying about the global 7. I’ll bring my Bender photograph up to date by another 25 years. economy. At a recent event in London, I was introduced as the world’s first pre- 8. Next year I’ll prevent myself from apocalyptic journalist. WTF. All’s I can schlepping hundreds of pounds worth of say is that I’m very sorry. I had no idea Christmas presents across the country to that my views on the corrupt, hateful, a gang of ungrateful relatives, most ofunjust, phobic, murdering and humiliating world that we live in was whom have not paid me a visit for overhaving such an evil effect on me. I also need to remind you that I’m 25 years. (I’ve been saying I won’t dodoing all of this without medication. Prescribed medication. this for well over 25 years already. Every year in fact.) Although this also applies 4. The weather. I will prevent myself to single people, I referred to it ‘Gay Tax’ from snapping at people about the in a previous article. British weather. When we’ve reached the 28th successive day of gray skies 9. I’ll limit my karaoke session at the Bulldog to only three songs per and rain, and somebody turns to me, night with no Neil Diamond, no matter how drunk I am. Once my friends mystified, stating that ‘It was so nice have gone, I’ll put down the microphone. this time last year...’ I won’t bark at them. I won’t remind them that it was 10. I’ll keep reminding myself that I’m getting poorer every year but only that single week in September that richer in the things that matter. No, actually, I’ll refrain from any more the sun actually shone last year, and Ersatz religious boloney to make anyone feel better. When anyone says the same week the year before that. I’ll this crap they’re only really talking to themselves anyhow. Humbug.remind them that they’ve mistakenly spread that one week out acrosstheir fu*king memories as an entire summer. I won’t tell them that to I hope you’ve made your resolutions too. I want you to get back to meremember otherwise is only a method of getting by with our dire no later than Wednesday, January 2nd to tell me if you’ve actually keptclimate hanging above us like, well, a dark cloud. any of them. If I think of any more of my own I’ll scribble them down and post them over the holidays. So, eat drink and for Hillary’s sake, be5. I wont say ‘I told you so’ as I have done with increasing regularity. Mary.So, when newspaper empires fall and their editors are impeached as a
GSCENE 71DUNCAN’S TRANSDOMAIN MATTERSBY DUNCAN STEWART BY STEPH SCOTTFOR WHOM THE BELL TOLLS STILL FIGHTINGThe last time I left the small village in Andalucia in which I spend a From a personal point of view the one resolution I should make andcouple of weeks every year, the narrow streets were full of sombrely keep is to look after myself better, to be aware of activist burn-outdressed villagers summoned by the church bell to a funeral. The dead and to take steps to avoid it, but I doubt if it will last long with theman had asked a friend to shoot a wild boar which was wrecking the Trans Scrutiny report going before full council in January. Note to self,vegetable patch at his finca a mile south of the village. The friend avoid talking to the Argus and all other right-wing gutter press whoagreed, even though shooting boar was illegal at this time of year, never let the truth get in the way of a good story!took up a hidden position with a view of the garden and fired whenhe saw movement, fatally wounding not a boar but his friend doing My many wishes for the new year include Pride actually asking thesome weeding. This is a true tragedy as the hunter may go to prison communities what we want before deciding what they want to give us.and the deceased’s invalid wife and dependant 30-year-old daughter This year’s Pride was said to be a success but was full of adminhave lost a loving husband, father and carer. problems for community groups and actually the area outside the fences felt quite unsafe (I witnessed two nasty fights outside and sawMost of us do not die as a result of mistaken identity, we are most the aftermath of one inside). Do we really need two days of peoplelikely to succumb to cancer or arterial disease. Our life expectancy, getting drunk in/outside the park and as someone who lives next toscheduled in our genes, is maximal on the day we take our first breath the park do I have to put up with two days of dance music boomingand most of us steadily squander it by our careless and noxious out? I am more of an ageing rock ‘chick’ myself!habits. So what should we do to get the best value from all thosepension premiums? Smoking increases your risk of dying from virtually “Report hate crimes to the police,every cause so, if a smoker, giving it up (which is not easy) must be say no to hatred of any kind andyour top priority. There is a lot of very effective help available stand up for those who cannot dothrough GP surgeries and specialist clinics so don’t delay and if your so for themselves”partner smokes insist they join you. There seems to be a growingconsensus that eating less red meat reduces your risk of bowel cancer Other wishes include seeing the number of trans people killed goand of course too much unprotected exposure to sunlight has well down. This year we remembered the names of 265 people who wereknown dangers; less well known is that too little may make you more murdered for being trans, being a friend or lover of a trans person.susceptible to infection as a result of low Vitamin D levels. Life is This was a rise of over 25% on last year! Over 80% of those killedcomplicated. were from Central & South American countries!Most of us, and I include myself, are overweight and unfit because we It is time for global action to face theenjoy consuming too many calories and are too lazy to take adequate challenges that LGBT communities faceamounts of exercise; but if you can make a bit of an effort the throughout the world, where countriesbenefits are surprisingly protective and at no cost. Go to a gym if you like Uganda try to introduce bills tolike but why not simply walk a bit further and faster every day? Make kill us; where Lithuania wants to bantime to get off the bus a couple of stops before your destination. We help for trans people; to Kuwait whereare inundated by gorgeous recipes, offers of delicious instant food, trans people are arrested for cross-and alcohol is thrust at you wherever you go so achieving your ideal dressing; to Turkey and Indonesia whoweight is difficult and most diets are so boring you go back to your fail to protect trans people; in Russiaold ways immediately and all that misery was for nothing. where Pride is banned for the next 100 years; to countries like Brazil, where“Achieving your ideal weight is difficult 124 trans people were murdered last year and to survive as a trans and most diets are so boring you go person you have to have money or be prepared to sell your body back to your old ways immediately and/or drugs to live and so so many other countries where LGBT and all that misery was for nothing” people are murdered, tortured, abused and discriminated against. These are human rights issues that must be challenged globally andMy advice is simply to eat smaller portions of the food you enjoy, cut must not be forgotten. Governments and dictatorships might seem likeout all sugar before the onset of diabetes forces you to do so, eat less insurmountable obstacles but even they must eventually respond toof those fats that go hard in the fridge and have a glass of water with the will of the masses. It will be a long struggle but if in the 21stevery meal. First however you must buy a tape measure and get century people cannot show their love or their true gender then whatsomeone to record your real girth and if you reduce this to a figure does that show for the human race?below 40 inches for a man and below 35 inches for a woman you willhave got rid of much of the fat inside your abdomen which, unlike the We can all do our little bit, sign petitions, join Amnesty International,fat under your skin, messes up your metabolism and raises your challenge your MPs and church leaders about what they are doing tocholesterol and blood sugar levels. You might also buy and share the stop this. Report hate crimes to the police, say no to hatred of anyuse of a blood pressure machine, get the type which fits around your kind and stand up for those who cannot do so for themselves. Aboveupper arm. all support each other to ‘fight’ intolerance across the world.Simple? Yes. But not easy. Dr Johnson, that masterly definer of the Of course I recognise that not everyone is able to do this but ifmeaning of words was once asked by an overweight acquaintance enough of us do then just maybe we can get change; to get the Pope“Don’t you think I look well?”, to which the great man replied “You do to denounce bigotry, including his own, and the United Nations toindeed appear well but you look repulsive”, so there’s another reason consider imposing sanctions on countries that fail to respect basicto follow my advice! human rights.
72 GSCENEAre ‘Resolutions’, New Year or otherwise, In the end, five of them decided to adopt somegood for our mental health? group resolutions. These included: • Being more friendly when they were out,The tradition of New Year resolutions has The year, though, Martha had resolved to trybeen around for ages; an imperative to get on an alternative view of the resolutions. She thereby making the scene (around them)and do all the things we know we ‘should’; a realised that some of the problem was the a more friendly place to bewake up call after the excesses of the xmas inherent egotism of the resolution treadmill, • Challenging themselves on theirseason; a chance to focus on self- and she wanted to challenge her tendency to assumptions about other people, especiallyimprovement techniques and the long-term see it as all about her. One of the problems people who don’t immediately appear to be‘to do’ list. For some, this may be a positive with resolutions is that they tend to be solely like themcommitment to undertake practical, about your ‘self’, you as an individual, a • Being more aware of how kind or unkindpsychological and relationship housekeeping, separate, single being. It can so easily they felt towards othersa good fresh start. become an ego-driven business of self • Being more aware of how generously they improvement. Nothing wrong with that if it felt towards othersIt’s a truism that loads of people take out works for you, but for those of us like Martha • Being aware of when and why they put on agym membership in January, full of good who struggle with our mental health it can ‘front’ of being ok when they didn’t feel itintentions. This was certainly true for Martha. start to feel like a treadmill of failure. • Taking opportunities to be more honestShe had done her bit over the years to help about how they felt, when it felt safe to dogyms profit enormously from our tendency not So Martha set herself the task of seeking an soto follow through on all those resolutions. alternative by thinking about how she could • Supporting each other to do all of the aboveThere were lots of good reasons why Martha use the impetus of the New Year to improve • Supporting each other to do some personal,started well and gradually stopped going. life for everyone around her, including herself, individual resolutions including being kind toGetting fit is not that easy! And she knew but also her community. By attending to the each other if the resolutions were hard todeep down that she always hoped for a ‘quick world around her, could she make life a little keep to and congratulating each other onfix'. It just didn’t bring the reward of better better for everyone? Could she resolve to anything they managed, however smallhealth, better temper, better relationships make the world a better place, rather than • Supporting each other to undertake anythingand better self-image that she so wanted. just her life? whatsoever that was good for their mental health and that of others They also decided to support each other in getting a bit more involved in community events, especially those connected to causes that they cared about. Martha was hopeful that taking a collective approach to New Year resolutions would turn out to be a positive move for them all. There were no huge goals to try and reach, no ‘giving up’ something you are not ready to, no fear of failure. Even after a couple of weeks she was surprised how her thinking had changed, how many prejudices she unconsciously had towards people, how interesting it was to challenge them, to think and behave more kindly, to share her discoveries with her friends. MindOut would love to hear from you about how you would make our communities more mentally healthy, welcoming and safe. Please do email us your ideas: [email protected]“She had the feeling Martha started by talking to friends about MINDOUT SERVICES that making resolutions what they thought of her world changing was buying into and resolution. Some were sceptical, took the piss MindOut provides free, independent mental confirming her low or just looked a bit blank and changed the health advice, information and advocacy. self-esteem” subject, but a surprising number took her We also run a peer support group work seriously. Interesting conversations came up service and activity groups for LGBT peopleWorse still, she had the feeling that making about what people thought was missing, why with mental health issues.resolutions was buying into and confirming they did not feel connected to theirher low self-esteem. Depending on how communities, how unfriendly some found the If you, or anyone you know, has mentaldepressed she felt at the time, the setting of scene, how unsafe some felt going out, how health issues and you would like to talk inunrealistic resolutions and then failing at worried some were about not fitting in, how confidence to an ‘out’ LGBT mental healththem ended up reinforcing how awful she felt lonely some of them were. worker or would like to offer us yourabout herself when she made a resolution support, please contact us.that she thought would make her feel better. Several of her friends talked about how theyFor goals to work, they need to be felt the need to put on a ‘front’ of some kind, • 24hr confidential answerphone:achievable, for you. to hide how they really felt in order to get by. 01273 234839 Martha recognised this in herself, particularly • Email: [email protected] at work where she tried hard to appear • Website: www.mindout.org.uk upbeat, happy, bright even though she was depressed and suffering inside. All MindOut services are free, confidential and non-judgemental.
GSCENE 73BRIGHTON & SUSSEX SUCHI’SSEXUALITIES NETWORK WORLDBY RACHEL WOOD (UNIVERSITY OF SUSSEX) BY SUCHI CHATTERJEEWOMEN AND SEX SHOPPING LGBT IDENTITY AT HOMESex shopping has gradually become more feminised over the past There are three small and seemingly insignificant words that can puttwenty years and this is due to a number of factors. Partly it relates the fear of God into even the hardiest of us rough and toughto regulation; a ‘sex shop’ does not have to have a licence if less than campers. And those three words are New Year Resolutions. As I have10% of its stock is explicitly designed for sexual use. Unlike a licenced said for many a year, the road to hell is paved with good intentionssex shop with its associations of blacked out windows, dodgy back when it comes to the start of a brand new year. I should know, I havestreets and men in raincoats, Ann Summers is unlicensed and can sit a plethora of cracked tarmac pilled up on my balcony, and I suspecton the high street opposite Marks & Spencers. So there has been a that 2013 won't be any different.shift to a more feminine, open, couple or women oriented sex shopaesthetic. It is so not for the want of trying. I'm very trying, or so says ‘she who shall be obeyed’. I do try and keep to my resolutions, but the dietThere has also been a shift in retail culture towards selling goes out the window when my sister cooks me a fantastic curry, andaspirational ‘lifestyles’ to the consumer. This could explain why you can forget the ‘I shall do 10 minutes of writing every evening toproducts such as upmarket vibrators and gold-plated dildos, have help keep my brain cells active’ all I want do after I come in frombecome so popular. The rapid rise of anonymous online shopping has work, is crawl into my bed and pull the duvet over my head! also had an impact. In short, we’ve “New Year resolutions, I have come a long way from 1992 when a decided, are a form of cruel group of women were so disappointed and unusual punishment, by a wine fuelled trip around Soho’s sex inflicted on us by ourselves” shops that they decided to open Sh!, the UK’s first women only sex store. New Year resolutions, I have decided, are a form of cruel andAll these cultural changes are observable, but what I am interested in unusual punishment, inflictedis how women think and feel about sexual consumer culture. How does on us by ourselves, supposedlythe way a shop is designed make you feel when you are shopping in for the greater good. If we wantit? Do you feel comfortable, confident, embarrassed, amused, or to be truly honest withturned on? Do you shop alone, with friends or with partners? What ourselves we need to look inkind of things do you consider buying, and what would you never buy? the mirror, stop sucking in ourWhen you get the sex toys, lingerie or accessories home, how do they bellies, exhale loudly and acceptmake you feel about yourself, about your body, your relationship? How we are doomed to failure whenimportant have sex shopping experiences been in forming your sexual it comes to turning over a newidentity and desires? Are these products a big part of your sex life, leaf in any New Year. Yes, fellowhow important are they and what effects do they have? camper, it is true. We might succeed in taking a nibble out“Along with the increased acceptability of our well intentioned resolutions but then what? and feminisation of sex shopping has So this year I am having a ‘Not doing New Year Resolutions’ which come a pressure to consume in order to you can read below at your leisure! • Sod the diet, slap on more sweet cranberry sauce on the turkey become a particular kind of woman” left overs and eat the lot in one sitting.I am currently asking these questions to women during interviews and • Stuff my face with my sister’s fabulous cooking when I get theI’ve been amazed by the diversity of pleasures and tastes that womenexpress when it comes to sex shopping. I’ve also been unsurprised to chance and bollocks to the double love handles in places onlyhear about the anxieties and pressures felt in relation to sexual Custom Officers fear to treadconsumer culture. Along with the increased acceptability and • Give up any idea of trying to write solidly for 10 minutes a day.feminisation of sex shopping has come a pressure to consume in order Instead, get into bed, get out the iPad, play my favourite game; doto become a particular kind of woman. The shop spaces and products a bit of writing; browse the web a bit, swear when I lose a ‘Wordsre-produce particular gendered, classed and raced bodies and desires, with Friends’ match; write a bit more; make a sarky comment onand by doing so exclude others. If you are over 18, live in the UK, the Daily Mail readers page; go onto eBay and sulk becauseidentify as a woman, and have anything to say on the topic of sex someone has outbid me for the stuffed elephant that I want in myshopping, I’d love to hear from you. Please email me at room; write some more; realise the battery is going flat on the iPad;[email protected] for more information. Participants’ anonymity sulk some more as I have to put it on charge; think about writingwill, of course, be protected. in a notebook but decide that is far too new age; plump up my pillow and have a snooze whilst waiting for iPad to recharge.Rachel Wood is a PhD student at the University of Sussex who is • Give up any idea of trying to win an argument with ‘she who shalllooking at women’s experiences of sex shops and the products they sell. be obeyed’. That resolution has been on my ‘to do‘ list since 1979. Time to accept the inevitable. Mother rules, children drool.BRIGHTON & SUSSEX SEXUALITIES NETWORK (BSSN) So fellow campers, follow me and sling your New Year resolutionsThe BSSN is an inter-university research network aimed at supporting down the metaphorical pan, have a stiff drink and get on 2013 as bestresearch/researchers who work on issues of human sexuality within the as you jolly well can…Universities of Brighton and Sussex and wider Sussex area. We consistof community members and academics who have an interest in currentsexualities research. More info: [email protected]
ADVERTISERS MAP HOREHAM RD HOVE STATION 43PORTLAND RD LONDON RD ELM GROVE DYKE RD ISLINGWORD RD SACKVILLE RD GOLDSMID RD SEVEN BRIGHTON DIALS STATION THE DRIVE LEWES RD GEORGE ST TRAFALGAR STNEW CHURCH RDHOVE ST 37 29 HOLLAND RD QUEENS RD 6 GRAND PARADE 44 CHURCH RD PSAQLUMAERREIA 35 40 NORTH RD MONTPELIER RD 47 1ST AVE 39G PUBS & BARS KINGSWAY 12 11 WESTERN RD CHURCH RD 9 42 4 1 A-BAR 24 REVENGE KINGS RD 27 CLOCKWEST ST OLD STEINE EDWARD ST 11–12 Marine Parade, 688825 32-34 Old Steine, 606064 30 WEST PIER 18 TOWER NORTH ST ST JAMES STREET 26 2 BAR 56 25 WILD FRUIT @ HONEY CLUB MARINE PARADE 56 George St, 623399 214 Kings Road Arches 10 32 www.aeonevents.co.uk 23 25 3 BAR REVENGE 7 Marine Parade, 606064 G HOTELS BRIGHTON PIER 4 BEDFORD TAVERN 1 AMSTERDAM EDWARD ST 30 Western St, 739495 11–12 Marine Parade, 688825 15 PAVIRLOLYIAOLN 5 BULLDOG TAVERN 26 AVALON HOTEL PRINCES ST 31 St James’ St, 696996 7 Upper Rock Gardens, 692344 GEORGE ST DORSET GARDENS 6 BRIGHTON TAVERN 27 GRANVILLE HOTEL HIGH ST 99-100 Gloucester Rd, 680365 124 Kings Rd, 326302 7 CAMELFORD ARMS 28 GULLIVERS HOTEL 17 30-31Camelford St, 622386 12a New Steine, 695415 8 CHARLES STREET BAR 29 COURTLANDS HOTEL 8-9 Marine Parade, 624091 19-27 The Drive, Hove, 731055 9 CHURCH STREET 30 COWARDS HOTEL 2 112 Church St, 606864 12 Upper Rock Gardens, 692677 4510 DR BRIGHTONS 13 LEGENDS HOTEL 16 Kings Rd, 208113 31-34 Marine Parade, 624462 36 16 ST JAMES STREET 48 5 21 19 38 4111 GROSVENOR 31 NEW STEINE HOTEL 34 46 16 Western St, 770712 10/11 New Steine, 681546 33 OLD STEINE ST12 IRON DUKE 32 QUEENS HOTEL STEINE MANCHESTER ST 14 3 Waterloo St, Hove, 734806 1/3 Kings Rd, 321222 CHARLES ST BROAD ST13 LEGENDS BAR 20 VAVAVOOM MADEIRA PL 31-34 Marine Parade, 624462 31 Old Steine, 603010 CAMELFORD ST14 MARINE TAVERN G SHOPS NEW STEINE 13 Broad St, 681284 33 CARDOME 47a St James’ St, 692916 20 38 1 715 MARLBOROUGH 30 4 Princes St, 570028 34 PROWLER 24 MARINE PARADE 112 St James’ St, 683680 3116 POISON IVY 22 129 St James St 35 SPECS 22 Kensington Gardens, 676796 1317 QUEENS ARMS 7 George St, 696873 36 SUSSEX BEACON Charity Shop MADEIRA DRIVE 130 St James’ St, 68299218 REGENCY TAVERN 48 BETTY LA LA’S 29 NEW STEINE BISTRO G COMMUNITY 32-34 Russell Sq, 325652 37 SUSSEX BEACON Charity Shop 22 St James’ St, 693444 12a New Steine, 681546 83 George St, Hove 45 BRIGHTON WOMEN’S CENTRE19 SUBLINE 41 CAFÉ TIERE 18 REGENCY TAVERN 72 High St, 698036 129 St James St, 01273 624100 G ESTATE AGENTS 117 St James’ St, 965985 32-34 Russell Sq, 325652 www.womenscentre.org.uk20 VAVAVOOM 38 JUSTIN LLOYD (Kemp Town) 7 CAMELFORD ARMS G SAUNAS 46 LUNCH POSITIVE 31 Old Steine, 603010 118 St James’ St, 315612 30-31Camelford St, 622386 Dorset Gardens Methodist Church, 42 BRIGHTON SAUNA 07846 464384 www.lunchpositive.org21 ZONE 39 JUSTIN LLOYD (City) 8 CHARLES ST BAR 75 Grand Parade, 689966 33 St James’ St, 682249 111 Western Rd, Hove, 315613 8-9 Marine Parade, 624091 47 MINDOUT 43 TBS2 SAUNA Community Base, 113 Queens RdG CLUBS 40 JUSTIN LLOYD (Hove) 27 FISHERMAN’S REST 84-86 Denmark Villas, Hove, 723733 234839 www.mindout.org.uk 176 Church Rd, Hove, 315614 123-125 Kings Rd, 32388813 BASEMENT CLUB (below Legends) G LEGAL & FINANCE 47 SWITCHBOARD 31-34 Marine Parade, 624462 G FOOD 12 IRON DUKE Community Base, 113 Queens Rd 3 Waterloo St, Hove, 734806 44 ENGLEHARTS 204050 (5–11pm) 8 ENVY (above Charles St Bar) 1 A-BAR 49 Vallance Hall, Hove St, Hove, 204411 8-9 Marine Parade, 624091 11–12 Marine Parade, 688825 13 LEGENDS BAR 31-34 Marine Parade, 62446222 FUNKY FISH @ New Madeira Hotel 3 BAR REVENGE 19-23 Marine Parade, 01273 698331 7 Marine Parade, 60606423 REBEL @ DIGITAL 187-193 Kings Road Arches www.aeonevents.co.uk
GSCENE 75SERVICES Community Room, Dorset Gdns Methodist Church, Dorset individuals. Specific courses to suit needs. Gardens, Brighton. Lunch £1.50. • Counselling: from qualified counsellors for up toDIRECTORY Tel: 07846 464384 or www.lunchpositive.org 12 sessions for people living with/affected by HIVLGBT SERVICES M MINDOUT • HIV Health Trainer: Face-2-face/phone/email support to Independent, impartial info, guidance for LGBT people withM ACCESS 4 ALL mental health problems. 24 hr confidential answerphone: help understand diagnosis, manage side effects, sex &LGBT disabled people’s forum. Safe and welcoming, Tel: o1273 234839 or [email protected] relationships, understand meds, talk to doctor, diet &support, activities, awareness. www.mindout.org.uk nutrition.Tel: 07981 170071 or [email protected] • Informed Passions: Expert Volunteers project to identify M RAINBOW FAMILIES & support sexual health needs of local men who have sexM ANYTHING BUT… Support group for lesbian and/or gay parents with men and carry out wide-ranging field research inYouth social support group for LGB or unsure under 26, Tel: 07951 082013 or [email protected] B&H on issues affecting men’s sexual health. Extensivemeets every other Wed. www.rainbowfamilies.org.uk training provided.Tel: 01424 724150 or 01424 447033 • Lounge (Group for Gay Men Living with HIV): M VICTIM SUPPORT fortnightly peer support group for gay men diagnosedM ALLSORTS YOUTH PROJECT Practical, emotional support for victims of crime. with HIV for at least 1 year, on HIV medication or not.Drop in for LGBT or unsure young people under 26, Tues Tel: Brighton 01273 234009 or Hove 01273 439942 • What Next? Thurs eve, 6 week peer support group work5.30-8.30pm. Tel: 01273 721211 or programme for newly diagnosed HIV+ gay [email protected], www.allsortsyouth.org.uk HIV PREVENTION • Co Infection group: 6 week peer support group work programme for gay men with HIV & HEP C.M BRIGHTON & HOVE POLICE TREATMENT & CARE SERVICES • Telling it Straight: monthly Tues eve support group forReport all homophobic and transphobic incidents to: straight HIV+ men/women. Guest speakers.• The Police 0845 6070999 (for emergencies 999) M AVERT • HIV Support Services: info, support & practical advice Sussex HIV & AIDS info service, available by phone for people living with/affected by HIV. email: [email protected] Tel: 01403 210202 or email [email protected] • Volunteer Support Services: 1-2-1 community support tweet: @policeLGBT for people living with or affected by HIV.• Civilian LGBT caseworker Clare Brisco M BRIGHTON & HOVE CAB HIV PROJECT • HIV Welfare Rights Advice: help & advice line on 101 ext 50427 or 07769 162594 Money, benefits, employment, housing, info, advocacy. Wed: 10am–1pm 01273 764205. 1-2-1/group support• or use True Vision self reporting pack Appointments: Tue-Thur 9am-4pm, Wed 9am-12.30pm to claim DLA. Guidance on return to work & in-work benefits Brighton & Hove Citizens Advice Bureau, 1 Tisbury Rd, For more info about these FREE services go to the THT office,M BRIGHTON & HOVE LGBT SWITCHBOARD Hove, Tel: 0845 1203710 www.brightonhovecab.org.uk 61 Ship St, Btn, Mon–Fri, 9.30am–5.30pmTel Helpline, Hate Crime reporting, Counselling service, Tel: 01273 764200 or [email protected] service (relationship counselling in M CLAUDE NICOL CENTRE/ WILDE CLINICpartnership with Brighton Relate). Free confidential testing & treatment for STIs including HIV. M TERRENCE HIGGINS EASTBOURNEwww.switchboard.org.uk/brighton Hep A & B vaccinations. Out Patients Dept of Royal Sussex Covering East Sussex, Services: Health Promotion Outreach,• Helpline from 5pm daily: Tel: 01273 204050 County Hospital, Eastern Rd. Tel: 01273 664721 free condoms, lube, sexual health info & advice; HIV Health• Services info 01273 234009 www.brightonsexualhealth.com Coach, Short term support for people living with HIV;• email [email protected] Counselling; Positive Grants; Face-2-Face 1-2-1 support &• or [email protected] M LAWSON UNIT advice on sexual health, HIV; Condom Male: free condoms by Medical advice, treatment for HIV+, specialist clinics, diet post; Fastest: 1 hour HIV tests; Positively Social: group forM BRIGHTON OURSTORY PROJECT & welfare advice, drug trials. Tel: 01273 664722 people living with HIV; Volunteering.Oral history projects including shows, exhibitions, books, Dyke House, 110 South St, Eastbourne, BN21 4LZ,support to researchers Tel: 01273 207757 or 01273 M SUBSTANCE MISUSE SERVICE Tel: 01323 649927 or [email protected] or www.brightonourstory.co.uk CRI / Sussex Partnership Foundation Trust. Open access drop in, assessment, support, advice, info on drug & M WARREN BROWNE UNITM BRIGHTON WOMEN’S CENTRE alcohol issues Tel 01273 607575. An LGB&T worker is Free confidential tests & treatment for STIs inc HIV. Hep A &Info, counselling, drop-in space, support groups. able to provide a confidential, non judgemental outreach B vaccinations. Shoreham based. Tel: 01273 461453Tel: 01273 698036 or www.womenscentre.org.uk service. Support for people over 18 wishing to address substance misuse Tel 07717 774 658 M WILDE CLINICM FTM BRIGHTON Gay men’s sexual health clinic. Wed 5-6.30pm. OppositeSocial/support group for all female-to-male trans people. M SUSSEX BEACON Royal Sussex County Hospital entrance Abbey Rd.Every 3rd Sat of month, 6–8pm, THT Office, 61 Ship St, 24 hour nursing & medical care, day care. Tel: 01273 664721Brighton, BN1 1AE. Tel: 07504 652129 or Tel: 01273 694222 or [email protected] NATIONAL HELPLINES M TERRENCE HIGGINS TRUST SERVICESM GEMS (GAY ELDERLY MEN’S SOCIETY) • Venue Outreach: info on HIV, sexual health, personal M BROKEN RAINBOWTwice monthly meeting for over 50s Tel: 01273 884285 or LGBT Domestic Violence Helpline, Mon 2-8pm, Wed [email protected] www.gems-bh.org.uk safety, safer drug/alcohol use, free condoms/lubricant 1pm, Thur 2-8pm Tel: 08452 604460 for men who have sex with men.M LESBIAN LINK BRIGHTON • The Bushes Outreach Service @ Dukes Mound: M LONDON FRIENDLocal social group offers friendship, social events advice, support, info on HIV, sexual health, personal LGBT bereavement helpline, Tues 7.30-10pm,Tel: 07594 578035 (eve) www.lesbianlinkbrighton.co.uk safety. Free condoms, lube, tea/coffee from Outreach van Tel: 020 7403 5969 parked next to ‘The Patio’ at the Bushes.M LESBIAN & GAY AA • Netreach (online Outreach in Brighton & Hove): M LONDON LESBIAN & GAY SWITCHBOARD12 step self-help programme for alcohol addictions. Sun info/advice on HIV/sexual health/local services. Tel: 02078 3773247.30pm, Chapel Royal, North St, Btn (side entrance). THT Brighton Outreach workers online @ Gaydar:Tel: 01273 203343 (general AA line) Thur 7–10pm, Sat 1–4pm, chatroom HEALTH INFO THT M POSITIVELINE (EDDIE SURMAN TRUST) • Condom Male: discreet, confidential service posts free Mon-Fri 11am-10pm, Sat & Sun 4-10pmM LGBT NA GROUP condoms/lube/sexual health info to men who have sex Tel: 0800 1696806Brighton based LGBT (welcomes others) Narcotics with men without access to commercial gay scene inAnonymous group every Tue 6.30–8pm, Millwood Centre, East & West Sussex. M MAINLINERS Tel: 02075 825226Nelson Row, Kingswood St. Tel: NA Helpline 604604 • Positive Voices: volunteers who go to organisations to talk about personal experiences of living with HIV. M NATIONAL AIDS HELPLINE 08005 67123M LGBT MEDITATION GROUP • Fastest (HIV Testing): walk-in, (no appointment) rapidMeditation & discussion, every 2nd & 4th Thur, 5.30–7pm, HIV testing service for men who have sex with men. Pre & M NATIONAL DRUGS HELPLINE 08007 76600Anahata Clinic, 119 Edward St, Tel: 07789 861367 post test discussion with clinical staff. Results in an hour.www.bodhitreebrighton.org.uk 10 men max tested per session. Mon: 6.30–8.30pm M THT AIDS TREATMENT PHONELINE (waiting room open: 6pm) Tel: 08459 470047M LUNCH POSITIVE • Face2Face: confidential info & advice on sexual healthLunch club for people with HIV to meet, make friends, find & HIV for men who have sex with men. Face-2-face or M THT DIRECT Tel: 0845 1221200peer support in safe environment. Every Fri, noon–2.30pm, phone. Up to 3 one hour appointments. • Specialist Training: wide range of courses for groups/
76 GSCENEJAN 2013 CLASSIFIEDS CALL 01273 722457 BY 14TH JAN TO GUARANTEE ADVERT PLACEMENTBUILDERS, CARPENTERS, ELECTRICIANS, PLASTERING, PAINTING & DECORATING,PRINTERS, ODD JOBS, SOLAR PANELLINGpaintworks RAINBOW DECOR ELECTRICAN 07749 471497Est QuCalIiTfBied Brighton basedGAY PAINTER & DECORATOR For all your electrical requirements 1990 No jobs too small, rewire, phone points etc. * Competitive Rates * Interior / Exterior Guaranteed Work carried out by Call Barry for free advice on * Artexing / Coving * Quality & Reliability Guaranteed Gay Professional Man 01273 624610 / 07889 730640 HOME 01273 589329 •Painting & Decorating •Tiling •Kitchens/ [email protected] MOBILE 07973 839214 Bathrooms fitted •General plumbing Electrical Mechanical Services over 15 years experience MOST OTHER TRADES UNDERTAKEN WHILST EVERY EFFORT HAS BEEN MADE TO ENSURE THE ACCURACY OF STATEMENTS IN THIS MAGAZINE WE CANNOT ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE VIEWS OF CONTRIBUTORS, ERRORS, OR OMMISIONS, OR FOR MATTERS ARISING FROM CLERICAL OR PRINTERS ERRORS, OR AN ADVERTISER NOT COMPLETING A CONTRACT PRINT SERVICES
GSCENE 77MTCARPENTRY & BUILDING • LOFT CONVERSIONS • EXTENSIONS• BRICKWORK • PAINTWORK • DECORATING • INSURANCE REPAIRSFREE ESTIMATESTELEPHONE: 01273 383 767 MOBILE: 07939 581 791
78 GSCENE CLASSIFIEDSJAN 2013 CALL 01273 722457 BY 14TH JAN TO GUARANTEE ADVERT PLACEMENTCOUNSELLING, MASSAGE, TREATMENTS PROFESSIONAL SERVICES, TRAINING, TAXISGSCENE SUGGESTS READERS VERIFY THERAPISTS QUALIFICATIONS & EXPERIENCERUSSELL 48 (VTCT Qualified) AN AD THIS WANT HELP TO FIND A NEW JOB? SIZE COSTS Get training from Quick HR Holistic Body Massage £35 + VAT See www.quickhr.biz For Details Aromatherapy • Swedish Massage CALL SUSSEX Sports Massage • Reflexology DIVE CLUB Indian Head Massage • Hot Stones 01273 722457 TRY DIVE £15 Waxing • Shaving • Pedicure training courses &Kemp Town seafront (opp Naturist Beach) Gift certificates available 07887 973399 www.sussexdiving.co.uk WHILST EVERY EFFORT HAS BEEN MADE TO ENSURE THE ACCURACY OF STATEMENTS IN THIS MAGAZINE WE CANNOT ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE VIEWS OF CONTRIBUTORS, ERRORS, OR OMMISIONS, OR FOR MATTERS ARISING FROM CLERICAL OR PRINTERS ERRORS, OR AN ADVERTISER NOT COMPLETING A CONTRACTESCORTS+CHATSEBASTIAN DARYL Saltdean Chatham In/Out Calls In/Out Calls Overnight Overnight 07526 644555 07003755082TO ADVERTISE IN GSCENECALL 01273 722457
Search
