Draft booklet v9

Centre for EnglishLanguageEducationExam writingpractice andfeedback 1

ContentsExam Writing Practice One Pre-task reflection 4 Notes and planning 4 Writing paper 5 Feedback form 7 Tutor comments 8 Post-task reflection 8Exam Writing Practice Two Pre-task reflection 10 Notes and planning 10 Writing paper 11 Feedback form 13 Tutor comments 14 Post-task reflection 14Mock Exam Pre-task reflection 16 Notes and planning 16 Writing paper 17 Feedback form 19 Tutor comments 20 Post-task reflection 20Appendices Appendix 1: CELE Error Correction Code 22 Appendix 2: Next Steps 24 2

Exam Writing Practice One 3

Pre-task reflection TO BE COMPLETED BY THE STUDENTThis type of writing is reflective, not academic. That means that you can use personal language andtalk about your own experiences and ideas in a less formal way than for other types of universitywriting. Based on the feedback you received on your writing in Semester 1, what areas do you hope to improve on in this piece of work (e.g. I w ant to avoid non -academic language/I want to use the correct verb tenses/I want to organise my ideas clearly) Do you have any specific comments for the reader (e.g. I ’m not sure how to introduce a counter-argument. Can you give me some feedback on this?) Notes and planning 4

Task title: ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 5

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This feedback is focused on: Task Fulfilment ☐ Coherence and Cohesion ☐ Language Use ☐You have done this: You need to improve on this: XTask Fulfilment Coherence and CohesionAddressing the task Use of sources Macro-level Micro-levelThe connection between How you have used Your text as a whole Your paragraphs andyour writing and the task sources sentencesAddressing all parts of the Citing appropriate Including appropriate Having a clear topic forquestion ☐ sources ☐ sections ☐ paragraphs ☐Responding directly to title Matching citations Maintaining a topic/ Writing effective topicquestion ☐ and references ☐ stance throughout ☐ sentences ☐Following task instructions Formatting Ordering information Structuring your(use of criteria/counter- citations and effectively and paragraph (General-arguments) ☐ references logically ☐ specific structure; main correctly ☐ points supported byIncluding relevant content Writing an effective specific examples,☐ Paraphrasing ideas introduction ☐ evidence and from sources ☐ explanation) ☐Writing an appropriate Writing an effectivelength answer ☐ conclusion ☐ Using cohesive devices effectively ☐ Ordering information effectively and logically ☐ Language UseClarity and presentation Grammatical accuracy LexisThe way you present your ideas Your grammar Your vocabularyExpressing ideas clearly ☐ Avoiding run-on sentences Choosing words (wrong word ☐ chosen; impeding meaning) ☐Hedging claims to avoidovergeneralization ☐ Using the following Choosing words (imprecise appropriately: meaning; impedes meaning toUsing appropriate punctuation ☐ lesser extent) ☐ subject-verb agreement ☐Presenting and formatting Using natural collocations ☐correctly ☐ sentence structures ☐ Using academic register ☐ prepositions ☐ Using a range of vocabulary ☐ verb tenses ☐ verb forms ☐ the right word class ☐ articles ☐ 7

Reader comments Post-task reflection TO BE COMPLETED BY THE STUDENTMake at least 2 points. This type of writing is reflective, not academic. That means that you can usepersonal language and talk about your own experiences and ideas in a less formal way than forother types of university writing. Based on this feedback, what have you learned? What do you need to do next time in order to improve? 8

Exam Writing Practice Two 9

Pre-task reflection TO BE COMPLETED BY THE STUDENTMake at least 2 points. This type of writing is reflective, not academic. That means that you can usepersonal language and talk about your own experiences and ideas in a less formal way than forother types of university writing. Based on your previous feedback, what areas do you hope to improve in this piece of work? (e.g. I w ant to avoid non -academic language/I want to use the correct verb tenses/I want to organise my ideas clearly) Do you have any specific comments for the reader? (e.g. I don’t think my stance is clear enough, can you give me some advice?) Notes and planning 10

Task title: ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 11

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This feedback is focused on: Task Fulfilment ☐ Coherence and Cohesion ☐ Language Use ☐You have done this: You need to improve on this: XTask Fulfilment Coherence and CohesionAddressing the task Use of sources Macro-level Micro-levelThe connection between How you have used Your text as a whole Your paragraphs andyour writing and the task sources sentencesAddressing all parts of the Citing appropriate Including appropriate Having a clear topic forquestion ☐ sources ☐ sections ☐ paragraphs ☐Responding directly to title Matching citations Maintaining a topic/ Writing effective topicquestion ☐ and references ☐ stance throughout ☐ sentences ☐Following task instructions Formatting Ordering information Structuring your(use of criteria/counter- citations and effectively and paragraph (General-arguments) ☐ references logically ☐ specific structure; main correctly ☐ points supported byIncluding relevant content Writing an effective specific examples,☐ Paraphrasing ideas introduction ☐ evidence and from sources ☐ explanation) ☐Writing an appropriate Writing an effectivelength answer ☐ conclusion ☐ Using cohesive devices effectively ☐ Ordering information effectively and logically ☐ Language UseClarity and presentation Grammatical accuracy LexisThe way you present your ideas Your grammar Your vocabularyExpressing ideas clearly ☐ Avoiding run-on sentences Choosing words (wrong word ☐ chosen; impeding meaning) ☐Hedging claims to avoidovergeneralization ☐ Using the following Choosing words (imprecise appropriately: meaning; impedes meaning toUsing appropriate punctuation ☐ lesser extent) ☐ subject-verb agreement ☐Presenting and formatting Using natural collocations ☐correctly ☐ sentence structures ☐ Using academic register ☐ prepositions ☐ Using a range of vocabulary ☐ verb tenses ☐ verb forms ☐ the right word class ☐ articles ☐ 13

Reader comments Post-task reflection TO BE COMPLETED BY THE STUDENTMake at least 2 points. This type of writing is reflective, not academic. That means that you can usepersonal language and talk about your own experiences and ideas in a less formal way than forother types of university writing. Based on this feedback, what have you learned? What do you need to do next time in order to improve? 14

Mock Exam 15

Pre-task reflection TO BE COMPLETED BY THE STUDENTMake at least 2 points. This type of writing is reflective, not academic. That means that you can usepersonal language and talk about your own experiences and ideas in a less formal way than forother types of university writing. Based on your previous feedback, what areas do you hope to improve in this piece of work? (e.g. I w ant to avoid non -academic language/I want to use the correct verb tenses/I want to organise my ideas clearly) Do you have any specific comments for the reader? (e.g. I don’t think my stance is clear enough, can you give me some advice?) Notes and planning 16

Task title: ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 17

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This feedback is focused on: Task Fulfilment ☐ Coherence and Cohesion ☐ Language Use ☐You have done this: You need to improve on this: XTask Fulfilment Coherence and CohesionAddressing the task Use of sources Macro-level Micro-levelThe connection between How you have used Your text as a whole Your paragraphs andyour writing and the task sources sentencesAddressing all parts of the Citing appropriate Including appropriate Having a clear topic forquestion ☐ sources ☐ sections ☐ paragraphs ☐Responding directly to title Matching citations Maintaining a topic/ Writing effective topicquestion ☐ and references ☐ stance throughout ☐ sentences ☐Following task instructions Formatting Ordering information Structuring your(use of criteria/counter- citations and effectively and paragraph (General-arguments) ☐ references logically ☐ specific structure; main correctly ☐ points supported byIncluding relevant content Writing an effective specific examples,☐ Paraphrasing ideas introduction ☐ evidence and from sources ☐ explanation) ☐Writing an appropriate Writing an effectivelength answer ☐ conclusion ☐ Using cohesive devices effectively ☐ Ordering information effectively and logically ☐ Language UseClarity and presentation Grammatical accuracy LexisThe way you present your ideas Your grammar Your vocabularyExpressing ideas clearly ☐ Avoiding run-on sentences Choosing words (wrong word ☐ chosen; impeding meaning) ☐Hedging claims to avoidovergeneralization ☐ Using the following Choosing words (imprecise appropriately: meaning; impedes meaning toUsing appropriate punctuation ☐ lesser extent) ☐ subject-verb agreement ☐Presenting and formatting Using natural collocations ☐correctly ☐ sentence structures ☐ Using academic register ☐ prepositions ☐ Using a range of vocabulary ☐ verb tenses ☐ verb forms ☐ the right word class ☐ articles ☐ 19

Reader comments Post-task reflection TO BE COMPLETED BY THE STUDENTMake at least 2 points. This type of writing is reflective, not academic. That means that you can usepersonal language and talk about your own experiences and ideas in a less formal way than forother types of university writing. Based on this feedback, what have you learned? What do you need to do next time in order to improve? 20

Appendices 21

Appendix 1: CELE Error Correction CodeFor each piece of writing that you do, you will receive feedback based on this error correction code.There are two ways that this code can help you: 1. The code will help you correct your work. The next page has an example of a text which has been corrected based on feedback from the correction code. 2. You can record the areas that you need to improve by noting each time you receive a particular code item. This will show you the errors that you need to avoid in your next piece of work.Your teacher may use a variation on this code or use their own method. The most important thing isthat you understand their feedback.Code Meaning Your Feedback( ) These words are not necessary and can be deleted^ Insert a word (word missing)? I don’t understand what you meanArt Add, delete or change article, e.g. 0 / a / an / theCap Capital letter needed or should be removedLink Linking word or phrase neededN/A Not academic / Not appropriateNP New paragraph should be started hereP Punctuation errorSing / Pl Use a singular / plural form of the nounPr Preposition needed / wrong prepositionRO Run-on sentence errorSp Spelling errorSS Sentence structure errorVA Verb agreement – verb does not agree with nounVF Verb form is incorrectVT Verb tense is incorrectWF Word form is incorrectWW Wrong word 22

First draft and correction code feedbackLink WFInitially, it is highly likely that economic growing has a significant impact on the health of many people around VT(whole wide) world. Two factors closely related to such growth were urbanization and industrialization. Both of VA Linkthese accelerates as economic growth increases, and however, the number of people living and working in cities Linkincreases rapidly. To make an example, according to UN-HABITAT (2010, cited in United Nations, 2010), overP VF Pr SP Arthalf of the world”s population will have move to a city by 2050 in search for job opportunitys and the better life. Cap NAHowever, Even though large cities maybe bring considerable benefits to modern society, ultra-fast and WW Pluncontrolled urbanization and industrialization have also brought a vast array of vigor problem. Nair and ROPrabhakan (2012) suggest that living in this type of urban, industrialized environment therefore has serioushealth implications, this is an indirect cause of many harmful diseases, such as CAD. This may be because the SSvery different lifestyle in a large industrial city to traditional models of living, seen in pre-urbanized or pre- ?^industrial societies. The result is often the work mode, diet, exercise, and fundamental changes to the health ofa person, a dramatic impact.Second draft with correctionsFirstly, it is highly likely that economic growth has a significant impact on the health of many peoplearound the world. Two factors closely related to such growth are urbanization and industrialization. Both ofthese accelerate as economic growth increases, and as a result, the number of people living and working in citiesincreases rapidly. For example, according to UN-HABITAT (2010, cited in United Nations, 2010), over half ofthe world’s population will have moved to a city by 2050 in search of job opportunities and a better life.However, even though large cities may bring considerable benefits to modern society, ultra-fast anduncontrolled urbanization and industrialization have also brought a vast array of health problems. Nair andPrabhakan (2012) suggest that living in this type of urban, industrialized environment therefore hasserious health implications. This is an indirect cause of many harmful diseases, such as CAD. This may bebecause the lifestyle in a large industrial city is very different to traditional models of living, normally seen inpre-urbanized or pre-industrial societies. The result is often that diet, exercise and work patterns changeradically, having a dramatic effect on a person’s health. 23

Appendix 2: Next stepsWhat should you do with your feedback?The aim of feedback is to help you improve your writing. When you receive feedback, youshould:1. Read your feedback carefully and understand it.2. Try to improve your work using the feedback to help you. If there are parts of your workthat you cannot correct, ask a classmate or your tutor.3. Reflect on your feedback using the Reflection Questions to help you.4. For further practice or guidance you can: A) Visit the Learning Hub. B) Work through the activities on the Coaching and Support (CAS) Moodle page. C) Make an appointment with CAS for a 1 to 1 advising session.The Learning HubThe Learning Hub has a collection of coursebooks and workbooks. It is located in room 105in the Library. Inside, there are guides to help you find self-study books for your needs. TheLearning Hub has books to help you with writing, reading, speaking, listening, grammar andvocabulary, as well at CELE’s collection of graded readers.Coaching and Support (CAS)CAS is a special part of CELE which is designed to give students extra help and guidance.CAS does this in several ways: advising, workshops and Moodle activities.AdvisingIf you would like to speak to a CAS tutor, then you can book a one-to-one advising session.These are highly popular so you need to book your slot quickly. Opportunities for advising inthe following week are available on Saturday morning at 10:00 am via the CAS Moodlepage.WorkshopsCAS runs lunchtime workshops which review the most important academic writing skills. Allstudents are welcome to attend. There is more information on the CAS Moodle page. Scanthe QR code on the next page to go there.CAS also runs @UNNC discussion workshops which are SPDPO credit bearing and are aimedto encourage students to talk about their experiences and expectations of life and study ‘atUNNC’. These are four-week courses and you need to also complete a quiz to be eligible forthe SPDPO credits.Moodle ActivitiesYou can access materials for self-study and a paraphrasing forum from the CAS Moodlepage. 24

Scan the QR code on the right and you will be taken to the page.There are Practice Packs and Self Study activities on:Task Fulfilment Coherence and CohesionAddressing the task Use of sources Macro-level Micro-levelThe connection between How you have used Your text as a whole Your paragraphs andyour writing and the task sources sentencesPractice Pack Practice Pack Practice Pack Practice PackWhat is Task Fulfilment? Style: Citations, What do we mean by Paragraph organisation Quotations, coherence and Linking ideas References and cohesion? Continuing ideas and Paraphrasing umbrella nouns Planning an essay - Style: Citations, Self study Quotations, Essay organisation Coherence and cohesion References and Paraphrasing and Writing an introduction Writing a conclusion Language: Noun- based Writing (2) Keeping the meaning, changing the language Language UseClarity and presentation Grammatical accuracy LexisThe way you present your Your grammar Your vocabularyideasPractice Pack Practice Pack Self studyWhat is academic writing? Language: Subject Verb Academic Style AgreementStyle: Explicit ObjectiveWriting and Language: Noun-Based Writing & Style: BeingspecificSelf studyConcise writing 25

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