Under My Invisible Umbrella

UNDER MY An original essay created by Laurel Anne Fantauzzo WHAT IT TAKES TO BE A FILIPINA

I accepted the woman’s service without question as if I knew she would head into the downpour, open her umbrella, shelter it over my head, and walk at my pace, getting wet herself. Did you noticed that Of course, I did. she held the umbrella but she did not hold it above me, only for you? she held it above my whiteness, my I spent only forty pesos at an upscale cafe. I wealth, fame and used the cafE’s Wi-Fi for hours, while servers beauty. thrust menus at more- melanin customers who had dared sit for too long. But the white girl has been using the internet for almost an hour; aren't you going to do the same to us? You’ve been using the She just ordered a not-so- Wi-Fi for too long; it's decent price to use the enough for your orders Wi-Fi in this cafE for much to use our Wi-Fi too long. for 1 hr.

Bro, she’s so My favorite karinderya serves scrambled eggs pretty, right? and rice for twenty pesos. My presence amuses and annoys the guards and drivers who were never granted scholarships to study me in my birth country. As my Tagalog improved, I began to understand their objections. Scrambled egg, please. Yeah.. But, don’t I have a more sosyal No ma’am, it is okay... place to eat as a foreigner? What was I there’s no need for you playing at, treading into their space? to pay us, I can excuse you. I wandered onto an exclusive university campus to have a nice walk. The guard smiled and tipped his hat to me. He did not require me to sign his security book nor am I scolded for crossing a restricted area. Where can I sign in? Oh! HAHAHA, no problem, ma’am. I can make you enter without needing to sign in our log book.

Had my mother Had my mother not not been a scholar found my father, a had her own, elder U.S. Naval officer who sister did not marry made her laugh—I too might be starting a an American, and karinderya, finding petitioned for her to strategies to go join them in abroad. California. Ate, take me to California with you, please. I can A scholar, huh. The people here are so different from stay with you and your husband. me, they don’t have to worry about their houses This is a chance for me to get out of my flooding. miserable life in the Philippines. A U.S. Naval officer? He seems intimidating at first but he’s actually quite funny. I feel comfortable with him.

Thank you all One night, a new friend for coming tonight. invited me to a party in Let's grab some drinks Forbes Park. There's a servant and enjoy the party! for each family member. I drink another rainbow. I get photographed. I exchange business cards. I memorize new names. In the small hours of the night, I feel glad I am able to enjoy myself. Nice shot, white girl! *dance* *DRINKS* *Ha Ha* I'm Alliah, you are? Ah, here is my business card. Thanks!

I guess, there are more How do I make space in myself for everyone on \"parties\" in the area. Those both sides of the gate? Protected and people, they are the bodyguards and drivers for the Philippine unprotected? I have a troubled relationship with umbrellas. It’s a must in Manila, where the elite partying inside. weather can alter anytime. I always lose and All of them are on their break umbrellas. The wind blew the trees, I was phones and getting bored, drenched in the lobby. More passersby joined me their families must waiting with their wrecked umbrellas. for sure. Am I right? The workers would not Yes, welcome, and do not deserve, they are. my pity. I feel the uncertainty and shame that blur so often in me here. In the Philippines, I can get past the gate. I cannot help but feel guilty with the special treatments I'm receiving just because of my genes. *TALKING TO THEIR FAMILIES* ....

Most of us were waiting *DRIP to walk to the MRT train. Over the next hour, we watched power lines whip and taxis forge defiantly forward. We were all equally halted, equally soaked. * Taxi, ma'am? No, thank you.

THE EDITORIAL BOARD KRISLYN SAYAT lEI AGUILOS -IN-FRAME -SCRIPTWRITER -IN-FRAME -PANEL ARTIST -SCRIPT WRITER GIZELLE EVANGELISTA mARIE GARCIA -IN-FRAME -EDITOR -IN-FRAME -PANEL ARTIST -EDITOR

fRANZEN cABALPIN Gabrielle Bondad -IN-FRAME -IN-FRAME -SCRIPTWRITER -SCRIPTWRITER aLLIAH aRAGON MARGHARETTE BANTOG -IN-FRAME -IN-FRAME -EDITOR -EDITOR -PANEL ARTIST -SCRIPTWRITER MAXINE RAMIREZ -IN-FRAME (MAIN CHARACTER) -EDITOR

UNDER MY “Under My Invisible Umbrella” by Laurel Fantauzzo is a literary essay that talks about a Filipino-Italian who was born in the United States. Because her features are more Italian than Filipina, she had encountered problems with people treating her as “extra special” in the Philippines, but she finds it more isolating than welcoming. Fantauzzo’s way of writing reflects a lot about her personal encounters within the Philippines. Apocalypse: Romeo and Juliet What disaster reveal The breath of sparrow