A Hymnal for the Dystopia

73. Closing Time CFThey just called for the last round, said it’s time to go on homeGCThe bar they’ve got their closing time, and now I’m on my ownCFWell just this once I wish that they would break that closing ruleGCGive me one more hour for my dreams to come trueGCGive me one more hour and my dreams might come trueDGThere’s a well-dressed man in a booth nearby and a briefcase on thetableADHe’s got honest work at decent pay for anyone who’s ableDGA multinational corporate representative shakes hands with meADShe says they made too much last year and I’m their favorite charityDGSo I’ll buy the rounds for the house tonight for an extra hour or two ADAnd we’ll tip one to the house tonight, for breaking that closing ruleEAA man walks through those swinging doors says he’s just got too muchlandB7 EAnd he’d like to parcel it out tonight if I could take some off hishandsEAA woman’s giving me that look, she’s sitting at the barB7 EHer husband just left her tonight, but she’s got the house and the carEASo I’ll buy the rounds for the house tonight for an extra hour or two B7 EAnd we’ll tip one to the house tonight, for breaking that closing ruleGCMy doctor’s sitting two stools down, he says I’m looking fineDGBut I need to get out more late at night, and spend more relaxing timeGCHe says I need more biscuits and gravy and more homemade cherry pieDGA little less ice in my jack on the rocks, a little more salt on myfriesGCSo I’ll buy the rounds for the house tonight for an extra hour or two DGAnd we’ll tip one to the house tonight, for breaking that closing rule[repeat first verse]

74. Glad I Got the Gettin’ B7EmYou’re looking better to me tonightEmThan you’ve been looking for a long, long timeAmYou’re looking better to me tonightEmThan you’ve been looking for a long, long timeB7Maybe it’s this smoke-filled roomAm EmMaybe it’s this empty bottle of wineI’m glad I got the gettingWhile the getting was goodI’m glad I got the gettingWhile the getting was goodTurns out you’re up’n leaving,Just like they said you would.I feel sorry for that poor soul,that you find walking down your roadI feel sorry for that poor soul,that finds you wanderin’ cross their roadStarts out a bright shiny day,Finds out that they’ll be carrying a heavy load.That’s why I’m glad I got the gettingWhile the getting was goodThat’s why I’m glad I got the gettingWhile the getting was goodTurns out you’re up and leaving,Just like they said some day you would.

75. Endless Flow[celebrate all unions of all time with no divine providence]F G C AmThere’s something special going on todayF G C Cmaj7A statement of mutual selectionFG C Em AmIt’s always magical when two people say:F GCwe’re headed in the same directionF G C AmI hear somebody say I love you,FG C AmI hear it now, I heard it long agoF G C Em AmI hear somebody say I love you too,F GCIt’s an endless flow.Dm G AmTime moves so fast,Dm G AmLovers come, lovers passF G C Em AmThey keep passing love like a torch,FG CIt’s the love that lastsF G C AmThere’s something special in the air todayF G C AmA light-hearted spirit from the union of two heartsFG C Em AmIt’s always magical when two people sayF GCWe will never partDm G AmTime moves so slow,Dm G Amlovers come, lovers goF G C Em AmBut they keep passing love like a torchFG CIt’s an endless flow.

[back to jay’s songs]76. Remember WhetherCthere are some girls, some girls i rememberAmbut honestly i can’t remember whetherGthey wanted me to kiss’emFall i remember is there was this really nice tensionand making her laughfor an hour and a halfat some dumb coffee shopthen we’d go, then we’d go for a walkthere some girls, some girls i rememberbut honestly i can’t remember whetheri wanted them to kiss meall i remember is talking and getting all dizzycuz we were good friendsand romance always endswe were way better offwe’ve been much better off since i took off77. Surely by NowGCIf I’d ever wanted you to know meGDIf I’d ever wanted you to stayGCSurely by now I would have told yeG DG“Say honey won’t you come my way?”If you’d ever wanted me to get goingIf you’d ever wanted me to leaveSurely by now you would have told me“Say hey don’t you bother me”x2

78. Your Birthday Song CUnbelievably sad AmTonight in the bath FI remembered bailing on you GAll those years backGoing out for your birthdayFor a beer and a laughI stopped by Milan's place firstTo pick up some hashYou were so expectantAnd I was oh so blazedYou would have waited for meFor days and days and daysWell you never mentionedAnd I never askedHell I only rememberedTonight in the bathAnd we've drifted apart since thenYou couldn't forgive a slight like thatFrankly I was relievedFrankly I was an assGod I'm such an assGod I'm such an assGod I'm such an assGod I'm such an assNow I'd like to call youI'd like to take it all backBut I think it's too late for thatI'll just smoke weed in the bath just smoke weed in the bath x4

79. ReminiscingCI remember puking up a gut’s-worth of Wisconsin Mac and cheeseAmOutside of the noodles and companyCWhen you told me I wasn't allowed to leaveAmWhen you'd already broken up with meFHow dare you ask anything of meGIn my mom’s minivan, outside of the noodles and companyI remember weeping hystericallyAt the cheesecake factoryWhen you were off to collegeAnd I was just sixteenNo I know it makes sense I agreedAnd the waitress just let us be, in the corner boothAt the Cheesecake FactoryI remember when my foot fell asleepOn the swing-set near hale elementaryWhen I told you how I felt and you responded equivocallyWhen we’d both said our piece and it was time to leaveI walked off like I had a bullet in my kneeBack past hale elementary

80. Ah CorrineAAh.Ah Corinne.Ah, GAh Corinne, your words on the schoolbus.x2 ASo tender and sweet.You liked me. GAYou liked my eyebrows, you said so.81. Seemed LikeCI ran after you, it seemed like you wanted me to GCI caught up with you, it didn’t seem like that anymorex382. UndergroundGI’m gonna go underground you’re not gonna find mei’m gonna find my peace beneath the trees CGthat’s where i’ll be, waiting so patientlyDC Gfor love to come, and set me freei’m gonna lose my sense and i’m gonna call youi’m gonna call your name into the skyyou will not hear me, though i speak clearlythat love will come, and set you freeI’m gonna drag you back to where you come fromI’m gonna ask you what you think you’ve donePlease don’t mislead meI’ve been here pleadingThat love would come, and set you free

83. Biking through BrooklynG DC DBiking through Brooklyn, please don’t kill meDodging cabs and cars just no longer thrills meEvery time I pass a bus, the warm spew of exhaustHits me square in the jaw, those noxious fumes disgust me[Chorus:G DC DBiking through Brooklyn please don’t kill meC DC DPlease don’t kill me, please don’t kill me]GDHold up, I get it, you’re madCDYou’re in a big dumb tank and you can’t afford gasAnd then I pass your ass on a bicycleThat’s a child’s toy, and you’re mad at itPut your foot on the god damn gas at it[crash sound]Then you kill me and still go scott-freeCuz the biker’s no friend to the NYPDG DC DBiking through Brooklyn, please don’t kill meDodging cabs and cars just no longer thrills me[chorus]GD***, Get out of the bike lane!CD***, Get out of the bike lane!x8[chorus]G D CD G D C DDon’t drive, don’t drive, don’t drive so close to meDon’t drive, don’t drive, don’t drive so close to me***Start listing things commonly found in a bike lane that aren’tbikes. Suggestions include, but are by no means limited to:pedestrians, taxi cabs, bus drivers, NYPD, confused tourists,ConEdison, National Grid, UPS, USPS, FedEx, Fresh Direct, joggers,amateur photographers, gigantic rats, dying pigeons etc.



84. How the Hatter Went MadD GDDid you hear how the hatter went mad?D ADwell he couldn’t count how many hats that he hadDGHe had stacks on stacks of hats on hatsD ADbut he couldn’t keep track cuz he didn’t know mathD GDand that’s how the hatter went mad.DGWhen the hatter was still a short little ladDAhis grandfather gave him his very first hat DGhe said “Boy in the great big life that you’ll haveD ADI know that you’ll surely have many a hat,but I’ll tell you now like I told your dadif you’re gonna be a hatter then you’ve better learn mathif you start sellin’ hats and you never keep trackthen you’ll never know how many hats that you haveD GDand that grandson, will drive you mad.”D GDCuz that’s how the hatters go madD ADWhen they can’t count how many hats that they haveDGThey got stacks on stacks of hats on hatsD ADBut they can’t keep track cuz they don’t know mathD GDAnd that’s how the hatters go mad.DGBut the foolish young hatter resistedDAthe fruits of his grandfather’s wisdomDGhe said there’s nothing so boring as mathD ADand it’s not hard to count the hat that I have

but then he got two, and then he got fourand he thought he had seven but he couldn’t be surehe gave away one and the rest got splitand he might’ve had three but it just didn’t quitD GDAnd that’s how the hatter went mad,D ADcuz he couldn’t count how many hats that he hadDGHe had stacks on stacks of hats on hatsD ADbut he couldn’t keep track cuz he didn’t know mathD GDand that’s how the hatter went madDGcuz his stock got doubled and he knew there’d be troubleDAwhen his uncle came by and left him with a coupleDGand what do you know then? five got stolenD ADhe should have learned math like his grandfather told’mthen before he knew it another eight arrivedand he had fourteen fewer than twenty-fivethen he sold thirteen and the whole thing blewcuz the hats that he had were negative twoD GDAnd that’s how the hatter went mad,D ADcuz he couldn’t count how many hats that he hadDGHe had stacks on stacks of hats on hatsD G ADbut he couldn’t keep track cuz he didn’t know mathD GDand that’s how the hatter went mad

85. For the Birds GThis one’s for the birdsit’s made up of notes and words Cthey go tweet tweet tweet Dand peep peep peep Cchirp chirp chirp Dwhile they’re peckin’ at dirt D CGthis one’s for the birdsthe thing about birds you seeis they sing all day for you and methey sing for joy and they sing for freethey sing in the lakes and they sing in the treesit’s good to give thanks with your wordsso this one’s for the birdsThis one’s for the birdsit’s made up of notes and wordsthey go hooo hoooand cock-a-doodle-doocaw caw cawand they poop on your shoethis one’s for the birdsyou know not all birds fly?some of them are scared of the skylike chickens in the coop or penguins in the coldor the poor dodos from long agothey flap flap flap but they just won’t goif you don’t know by now you’ll never learnthat this one’s for the birdsThis one’s for the birdsit’s made up of notes and wordsthey go whistley-deechiffchaff chiffchaffquack quack quackand they steal your hatthis one’s for the birds

CDwell i like gulls and i like puffinsi like magpies when they bring me somethin’i like hawks and i like wrensif i had wings i would fly with thembut most of all i like loonscuz when I them call it makes me think of youthey sing so pure and they sing so trueso let’s sing back the whole night through D CGthat this one’s for the birds(quack quack quack)that this one’s for the birds(hoooo hooooo)that this one’s for the birds(chiff chaff chiff chaff chiff chaff)that this one’s for the birds

86. Good Grandmas’ GoodbyeG C Am DWhen i go home for christmas and my mother she embraces meit feels the same way that it feels on the fourth of julybut this year was much different, i went back twice in may insteadand i could tell that contact meant that both my grandmas diedAnd it wasn’t unexpected, but it was quite the coincidenceboth my parents orphaned in the span of just a monthi spoke at one i sang at one, i drank a bunch and had some funand now it’s time to say goodbye to being a grandsoni think that that’s the hardest bit i’ll never be a little kidin quite the same way that i was when i would sing for herand i think that that’s the hardest bit, i’ll never be a kid againin quite the same way that i was around those midnight firesso goodbye grandma pokela and goodbye grandma bettyi have a couple of your things and i keep them on a shelfit’s hard to say you’ll never say, i’ll miss you worst on holidaysIt chokes me up to try to say I miss you worst on holidays.

87. Summer D.CG FGYou, were my, summer darlingI held you in my armsAnd as, my, summer darlingYou kept me safe, from harm CGIf fall, shall, come to call FGWe’ll say goodbye, to that all CGStill I know, you were mine though FGSummer darling CGStill I know you were mine though CSummer dear CGIf spring shall, come again FGWe’ll be much differnet then CGStill I know, you were mine though FGSummer darling CGStill I know you were mine though CSummer dear

88. We’ll be FineG D CGSome friends I was torn from abruptlyEm G DSome friends we just drifted apartGD CGAnd I can feel the bonds between us strainingEm D GYou know it's slowly breaking my heartDo you remember how we felt this time last yearWhat happened to those people we wereI remember your laughter distinctlyBut recently it's all been a blurGCI don't mean to be so maudlinBut it’s been muddlin’ my mindAnd I've lost a share of friendsto negligence in my timeSo I thought I'd give a holler to say I care for you deeplyAnd that recently yeah i’ve been thinking you and me,we'll be fineG D CGSome groups of people they fractureEm G DI'm pretty sure most of’em willGD CGIt still really sucks to watch it happenEm D GIt's just another jagged little pillmaybe i should have moved town againhell maybe someday i willstart it all over with some brand new friendskeep it up til somebody gets killed!GCi didn’t plan to be so plaintivebut it’s plain enough to seewhen friendships outlast affectionit’s a cruel cacophonyso i thought give a holler to say i care for you deeplyand that recently well i’ve been thinkin’ you and me at leastwe’ll be fine

G Emand i’m sorry Gi’m not strong enoughG Emand i’m sorry Gbut even if i wasG EmI’d be sorry Gi ain’t forcing loveG D CGSome friends I was torn from abruptlyEm G Dsome friends I’ve kept close for yearsG D CGwell it helps that you’re here and you’re lovelyEm D Gand it hurts when i choke on my fearsGCi don’t desire to be so dolefulbut i’ll be damned if i don’t singi sing thanks for your indulgencein this and everythingyeah i thought i’d give a holler to say i care for you deeplyand that recently yeah i’ve been thinking you and mewe’ll be fine





…and thus the hymnal ends.Jay Ackley's Oeuvre is Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution- NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License or in other words, some rights reserved, some rights reversed see jayackley.com for more detail