Midnight Scream

1 Syed Mikail Ali 2 Midnight Scream 3 Chapter I 4 ―Hello! Juber?‖ 5 ―Yes. Speaking‖. 6 ―Assalamualaikum, brother Juber. This is Aslam speaking‖. 7 ―Walekum salaam, brother Aslam. Yes! What happened? Why are you calling 8 me so early in the morning? Have all the guests gone home? I enjoyed a lot in 9 your sister‘s marriage yesterday. It was great‖. 10 ―Just now I have received a call from my sister and she is crying a lot. She 11 wants to meet both of us. Can you come with me? Actually, my father and 12 elder brother were very busy yesterday and slept late at night after her 13 marriage was over. Now, they are sleeping soundly‖. 14 ―Yes, I can come with you but what has happened to her. Is there any big 15 problem?‖ 16 ―I don‘t know. She is crying a lot. She is calling us. You please get ready fast. 17 I am coming on my bike to your house. Be ready as soon as possible‖. 18 ―OK, you come. I will be ready‖. 19 After 8 minutes, Aslam comes with his bike to Juber‘s house. They both live 20 in the same village. Yesterday, Aslam‘s sister was married, and they enjoyed a 1

21 lot at the marriage party. Aslam‘s sister is married to a businessman who lives 22 in a village 8 km away from their village. All family members had happily 23 sent Sana (Aslam‘s sister) and gave a glorious see off when she left her native 24 village and her own home forever to start a new life with an unknown person. 25 Sana left her home and entered into a new world—her husband‘s home. 26 ―What is the matter? Why is she crying? Did you ask her?‖ asked Juber. 27 ―She is not saying anything. She called my brother, father, mother and sister 28 many times but they all are sleeping soundly as they are very tired. Yesterday, 29 they were very busy and slept late at night. I saw three missed calls on my 30 phone from Sana and I called her back and she started crying a lot like a 31 child‖. 32 ―Even before she has completed one day in her in-laws‘ house, the problem 33 started! Oh Allah! Please solve the problem. Allah, please give her patience 34 and power to overcome all difficulties‖. 35 Aslam rode the bike at a high speed and reached the house of his sister‘s in- 36 laws‘. The colour and excitement of the marriage party were not even over. 37 All were in a happy mood. Loud Hindi music can be heard. Aslam and Juber 38 met Sana who was alone in her bedroom. The room was well decorated with 39 flowers but the decoration was torn here and there; it seemed that the bride 40 and the groom had a fight. The bed was in a bad condition and pillows were 41 thrown here and there. As Aslam comes near his sister, he was shocked. The 42 dress of her sister was torn here and there; marks of brutal slaps can be seen 2

43 on her face. And there were beaten marks of stick on her hands. She was 44 groaning in pain. She started sobbing. 45 ―What had happened, Sana?‖ 46 She was only sobbing. 47 ―Sana, please tell us what has happened?‖ 48 She kept on sobbing. 49 She was threatened so badly that she was not able to express her pain. Aslam 50 comes close to her, sits beside her and keeps his hand on her back. 51 ―Aaahhh!‖ Sana groans in pain. Aslam can see many bright brown marks of 52 stick on her back. Her hair was not arranged. Her torn bra was on the bed. Dry 53 drops of blood can be seen on her legs and on the bed. Wounds caused by 54 nails can be seen on her arms and throat. With great pain and difficulty, she 55 lifted her cloth and showed her right thigh. It was totally brown—she was 56 brutally beaten. On the thigh also, he can see the dry drops of blood. Tears 57 came from Aslam‘s eyes and he also started to cry. 58 ―Why did he beat you like an animal?‖ 59 ―He is an animal‖, Sana said sobbingly. 60 ―Please take me to the hospital‖. 61 ―First, let‘s talk to father‖, said Aslam. 62 ―Father! He has married me to an animal. He does not attend my call when I 63 needed help. You all are animals. You all men are animals!‖ shouted Sana. 3

64 ―Sana, please keep quiet. People will come to know the matter. It will be a big 65 prestige issue for our family. Please have the patience for the sake of Allah. I 66 will take you to the hospital. First, let me talk to father‖. 67 Juber who was also watching all these things came near Aslam and said, 68 ―Really your brother-in-law is an animal. You must report the matter to the 69 police. It is a case of marital rape. It is a crime. He must be punished‖. 70 ―In marriage, there is no rape. Sana must compromise. She must not say no to 71 her husband. She has no right to say no‖, angrily replied Aslam. 72 ―Sana, nobody heard your scream at night?‖ asked Juber. 73 ―All were busy with music and dance whole night. Loud Bollywood Hindi 74 music was going on, and odd dance was in progress. They were all enjoying 75 our marriage reception party. I was crying a lot, groaning in unbearable pain 76 and screaming, but it was heard by none. Nobody came to rescue me. My so- 77 called husband cannot feel my pain—cannot hear my scream. Instead, he 78 tortures a lot. He beats me brutally like an animal. He is a very cruel and 79 heartless man. Whether I am physically fine or not does not matter to him, 80 only my flesh matters. I don‘t know how you chose him for me‖. 81 Sana sobbed in pain, and her eyes got wet and wanted to tell many things but 82 the question is who will listen to her? Aslam informed the matter to his father. 83 Then he went to meet his brother-in-law who was having breakfast with his 84 friends and was in a jolly mood as they were having a lot of fun. 85 ―Oh, brother Aslam! When did you come?‖ asked his brother-in-law. 86 ―Assalamualaikum, brother. I came 15 minutes before. I want to talk to you 87 alone. Please come‖. 88 ―Here, all are my close friends and you no need to hesitate to say anything or 89 keep anything secret. You can tell me now‖. 90 ―I want to take Sana to the hospital. She is not feeling well. It is urgent‖. 4

91 ―Brother Aslam, you know well that all women experience that first night 92 pain. I don‘t think it is necessary to take her to the hospital. It is natural pain. 93 She will be fine after some time. Don‘t worry. I will take care of her‖. 94 ―No, she is not fine. I think she must be taken to the hospital. She is groaning 95 in pain. She is also having a high fever‖. 96 ―So, are you teaching me what to do? She is my wife. I am her husband. You 97 don‘t have any right to take any decision regarding her. She is mine now. 98 Whether she has to be taken to hospital or not, I will decide. I will only do 99 whatever I deem fit‖. 100 ―Why did you beat her so brutally, brother?‖ 101 ―I told you that she is now my wife. I will decide what I will do with her. You 102 don‘t poke your nose into our husband–wife matter. I can do anything with 103 her because she is mine. I will beat her more if she says no again tonight‖. 104 ―But brother, you need to understand her problem also. She is having some 105 problem‖. 106 ―If she has any problems, then keep her at your home. Did you understand?‖ 107 ―Please brother, try to understand the matter. Don‘t be so cruel. It is your 108 responsibility to protect her and take care of her‖. 109 ―That I am doing well. You better keep your mouth shut now‖. 110 Aslam family members were arrived. All were surprised. The matter was 111 going to turn to be more grave. Aslam‘s brother-in-law became very angry 112 when he saw his wife‘s family members coming to his house unexpectedly 113 and shouted: 114 ―She has called her family without my permission. I will teach her a 115 lesson now in front of her parents and brothers. How did she dare to 116 call them in my home without my permission?‖ 117 The newly married groom went to beat the wounded bride again but he was 118 stopped by his family and friends. He started to abuse her. Sana‘s mother and 119 sister went to Sana‘s room and talked to her. 5

120 Sana‘s father came and asked her mother, ―What has happened?‖ 121 ―Last night she was beaten brutally by our son-in-law‖. 122 ―Beaten brutally by our son-in-law! But why?‖ 123 Sana‘s mother whispers at her father‘s ears: 124 ―Sana‘s menstruation started yesterday evening. Whenever her period 125 starts, she becomes very ill because of heavy pain. She was having 126 severe pain in her lower abdomen and fever also. She was not 127 physically fit. Last night was her first night with her husband. She 128 refused. So our son-in-law became very angry and beaten her‖. 129 ―Not only beat her brutally but also raped her‖, said Sana‘s sister angrily. 130 Sana‘s father remained silent for a moment, then slapped Sana‘s mom very 131 badly in front of her children and said: 132 ―You are a careless and useless woman! You don‘t know the dates of 133 your daughter. When the marriage date was fixed, I asked you. You 134 did not tell anything at that time. It is only your fault. Due to your 135 fault, Sana is suffering‖. 136 All became silent. Before this, we could hear the loud noise of Hindi 137 Bollywood song and children were shouting and dancing. Now everything 138 was stopped. Sana‘s father gone to his son-in-law and said: 139 ―Dear son-in-law, it is our mistake. I apologize for the mistake. Please 140 allow us to take her to the hospital. Please forgive Sana‖. 141 ―It‘s OK. You can take her to the hospital‖, replied his son-in-law. 142 They took Sana to the hospital. The lady doctor who was treating Sana said to 143 Sana‘s elder brother: 144 ―She has suffered serious injury. She needs to be admitted for 145 treatment. I cannot permit her to go home after treatment keeping in 146 mind her health condition‖. 147 ―OK. Admit her. But try to discharge her as soon as possible‖. 148 ―How did this happen to her?‖, the lady doctor asked the elder brother. 6

149 ―Nothing serious has happened. It is a case of domestic violence between 150 husband and wife. It is not a big matter‖, replied the brother. 151 ―But she has suffered serious injuries. She is brutally beaten and raped during 152 her period. She cannot sit or sleep properly because of pain. She is having a 153 high fever. She is breathing with difficulties. She is groaning in pain‖. 154 ―You please treat her properly and cure her as soon as possible‖, replied 155 Sana‘s elder brother in harsh tone. 156 ―But this is a crime—a great crime‖, said the doctor. 157 Sana‘s father came. The lady doctor said the same thing to him but he also 158 gave the same reply: 159 ―We know it is a big crime. But we are helpless. We have spent a lot 160 of money for her marriage—around Rs. 20,00,000 (twenty lakhs). We 161 have no option other than compromising. We cannot do anything. We 162 cannot take any action against our son-in-law. It is a minor family 163 problem; we will solve it‖. 164 ―It is marital rape. It is a crime. You better take the legal step now or else your 165 daughter will suffer the same problem whole life. If you keep quiet now, your 166 son-in-law will never mind doing the same crime again and again, making her 167 life a hell‖, said the doctor. 168 ―Doctor we can understand everything but we cannot do anything. Try to 169 understand the matter. We must save the marriage at any cost. I have spent a 170 lot of money for her marriage‖, said the father. 171 As the nurse was treating Sana inside the chamber, Sana made a lot of 172 groaning painful sound—full of deep pain and agony. Suddenly, she shouted 173 at her brother and father: 174 ―With whom have you married me? With an animal! You have thrown 175 me to a wild animal who cannot understand my problem. He brutally 176 uses my flesh to satisfy his thirst. My physical condition doesn‘t 177 matter to him. What type of man have you chosen for me?‖ 7

178 The elder brother slapped Sana and said, ―Keep quiet. You must not say no to 179 him. He is your husband. He has full right over you. If you had not refused, 180 this problem would never have happened‖. 181 Sana sobbed and said, ―You all men are animals—wild animals‖. 182 The doctor shouted at the elder brother: 183 ―You seemed to be a Muslim. I am a non-Muslim but I read the Noble 184 Quran. I practise many noble things of Islam practically in my life, and 185 they can make our life and society much better. It can bring peace in 186 family and society, and in fact, it can bring peace to the whole world. 187 In Quran, Allah has strictly forbidden man to approach woman during 188 her periods. What kind of Muslim you are! You all are Muslim for 189 namesake. Don‘t claim yourself to be Muslim while you cannot follow 190 its noble practical things‖. 191 ―Excuse me, madam. Don‘t teach me Quran. I know it very well. You please 192 mind your business. You please do your duty. Please stop lecturing us‖, said 193 the brother angrily and left the doctor‘s chamber. 194 Sana‘s father to the doctor, ―I apologize for the misbehaviour of my son. It is 195 not his fault; it is my fault. I was very busy with my business and did not care 196 for my children‘s proper education. Though I sent him to good schools to 197 make him a modern man but never care to teach him Quran or other Islamic 198 aspects. Maybe the same is the case with my son-in-law. To make him a 199 modern man, his parents may have forgotten to teach him the Quran and Islam 200 like me‖. 201 Sana to her father, ―Papa, I was screaming in pain whole night but nobody 202 was there to hear my plight. Nobody was there to rescue me. All the family 203 members were busy in the late night party. They were enjoying loud music 204 and odd dance. I became a registered and legalized victim. He has threatened 205 me that he will beat me more if I refuse again tonight. Please don‘t send me to 206 that animal. Papa, please save me from that animal‖. 8

207 Sana sobbed in pain. 208 Sana‘s father to her, ―It is my fault. I did not choose a man for you who can 209 love you and take care of you. I was blind and proud of my wealth. I selected 210 a wealthy person without knowing his character and behaviour. I only judged 211 and selected him based on his wealth. Forgive me, Sana … forgive me…‖. 212 9

213 214 Chapter II 215 Juber narrated the whole incident of Sana to me in the afternoon. I felt 216 extremely sorry for her. Tears rolled down from my eyes after listening to the 217 sad incident happened to her. I came home and sat on the chair in my small 218 room. My mind became busy with my past. I became reminiscent. I 219 remembered many life incidents with Sana, the sweet girl. I was in love with 220 her. I know her well. She is a lovely, sweet and beautiful girl. We became a 221 very close friend when we were doing graduation in college. I know her from 222 childhood. But our relation became deeper in college. She was very intelligent 223 and good at studies. She helped me a lot to complete my projects and 224 assignments. She was very cooperative. This is her fate! How bad luck she 225 has! She is beaten and raped brutally by her husband! My mind was not able 226 to digest all these things happened to her. I still love her. I cannot believe the 227 fact that she has refused her husband; as personally, I know her how sexy she 228 is. I will never forget that afternoon when I had sex with her first time. How 229 much curious she was about sex. It was a hot summer afternoon. We were 230 coming home from college. We were very busy in completing our 231 assignments as the submission deadline was very near. She had computer with 232 Internet connection. We can easily find many answers with the help of 233 Google-Baba, the all-knower. Already we solved many assignments together 234 in this way. I told her that I will come to her home in the evening to solve the 235 assignments. 236 ―But I will go to attend a marriage function in the evening. You better come 237 now‖ told Sana. 238 ―Now it is not possible. I am feeling very hungry and thirsty. I can come after 239 finishing my lunch‖. 10

240 ―You can have lunch with me at my home. I may become busy with getting 241 ready for the marriage party. I may have to go to Ruchi‘s Beauty Parlour. 242 Please come now‖. 243 I didn‘t deny the offer. She called me to her home and offered a nice lunch. 244 I had a nice lunch with her and a great time. 245 ―Come to my room. I will start the computer and we can find the answers to 246 the assignments‖. 247 ―Yes let‘s go and do that‖. 248 When she entered her room, she saw the room was not clean. She called one 249 of the lady servants and said with a smile, ―Aunty, did you forget to clean my 250 room?‖ 251 ―No madam. I was busy with cooking also. Badi madam (Sana‘s mother) is 252 not feeling well today. She gave me full responsibility of cooking meals for 253 lunch‖. 254 ―What has happened to mom?‖ 255 ―Today her blood pressure has become high‖. 256 ―How is mom now?‖ 257 ―After taking medicine she is feeling well. She is also having a bad headache. 258 She is taking rest‖. 259 ―OK, you clean it quickly. I will see mom‖. 260 ―Please don‘t disturb her. She is sleeping now. Let her take rest‖. 261 ―OK. I will not talk to her. I will just go and see her‖. 262 I also went with Sana to see her mom. She was sleeping soundly as if she had 263 taken some sleeping pills. I was amazed to see the big rooms of the bungalow, 264 and very nice interior decorations made it more attractive and beautiful. 265 We came back to her room and it was clean. The servant switched on the AC 266 and the room became cool very soon. 267 ―Your mother‘s health is not fine‖. 11

268 ―Here nobody‘s health is fine except me and Aslam. Some are having physical 269 health problem and some are mental patient. Nobody cares for the family. 270 These servants are better. They care for me more than my family members do. 271 In this family, nobody has time for the family. All are busy in earning money; 272 all of them want more and more money. I don‘t know when their thirst for 273 money will be quenched‖. 274 ―But we need money. Without money, we cannot live‖. 275 ―I know we need money. I don‘t think that without money we cannot live. I 276 think we can better live without money‖. 277 ―What are you saying, Sana. We cannot imagine our life without money. 278 Money is all. If you have money, you have everything‖. 279 ―Not everything! Maybe something or many things but not everything! We 280 cannot have everything with money‖. 281 ―That‘s true. But who cares for that. The world is busy in earning more and 282 more‖. 283 ―Money was made as a servant to serve us—our society. But this servant has 284 become master now—it‘s a dangerous master‖. 285 ―Whatever may be but you people are having money and enjoying a nice life. 286 Isn‘t it?‖ 287 ―No! It is true that we are having money but not having life—at least not 288 having a nice life. You may think we are living in a big bungalow but 289 actually, we are living in a concrete jungle. These well-decorated rooms may 290 look very attractive and beautiful. But the people who live here have ugly 291 heart. It is only a house not a home. Peace cannot reign here though luxury 292 abounds‖. 293 ―Why are saying so, Sana. Be positive. People are suffering a lot due to lack 294 of money. People are not getting proper food, medicine and shelter as they 295 don‘t have money‖. 12

296 ―When people have a lot of money, it makes them patient and also kills the 297 humane in him. My family is a live example. My parents did a lot of hard 298 work to earn money. Now you see they have money but it is useless for 299 them‖. 300 ―How money can be useless, Sana? It is impossible‖. 301 ―My father is a sugar and heart patient. He is also suffering from rheumatism. 302 My mother is also suffering from BP problem, gas problem and severe back 303 pain, and often suffers from a bad headache. They have developed different 304 health hazards. They eat less food and more medicines. The doctor has 305 forbidden them to eat many foods. Limited fruits they can eat. Only plain 306 chapatti and plain vegetables with very less or without salt are their main 307 menu in lunch and dinner. If they start eating the food of their choice, very 308 soon they will be in big problem. Almost all tasty and delicious foods are 309 forbidden for them. They have money but they don‘t dare to eat what their 310 hearts long to eat. Now you tell me, is their hard-earned money useful for 311 them?‖. 312 ―Yes, you are correct. But who thinks so much. People are busy in earning 313 and saving—not in spending. There is no guarantee of tomorrow but we are 314 anxious about our future. We are giving a lot of emphasis on our future which 315 is uncertain, ignoring the precious present‖. 316 ―Yes! The very thinking of future is destroying our present. To make a 317 prosperous future, we forget to enjoy our present. When that future comes, we 318 lose the ability or mentality to enjoy it. That‘s the irony of our life‖. 319 Sana became very emotional. She started saying something in a different way: 320 ―I have seen how dangerous money is. I will never forget that night. 321 Still, that midnight scream rings in my ears—the helpless cry of 322 Fatima, my sister-in-law. She was very lovely, loved us all and tried to 323 make this concrete house a home. But she was burnt alive! After that 13

324 incident, my mother became a patient forever. My younger sister got a 325 deep shock from this incident and she also became a mental patient‖. 326 ―What had happened that night? Why your sister-in-law was burnt alive? Who 327 did this?‖ 328 ―Five years ago! I was in grade 9. My elder brother Asraaf got married to 329 Fatima. She was from a very good family. She will never go outside without 330 her hijab in head. She used to offer five compulsory prayers, used to observe 331 30 days of fasting during Ramzan, was kind with servants and treated them 332 with respect. She alone used to take care of the whole family. She used to take 333 special care of my parents. She was so lovely. Already her father gave a lot of 334 gold, cash, furniture and a car to my brother as a gift or you can say as a 335 dowry. But my brother was ever thirsty for money. He was trying his luck to 336 become a famous politician and got full moral support from my father. He was 337 often in need of more cash. He used to force Fatima to bring more cash from 338 her father. She did it many times willingly and unwillingly. He had sold 339 almost all of her gold ornaments. It was panchayat (local government) election 340 time. He was in need of more money to win the election. He forced Fatima to 341 bring more money from her father. But for the first time, she came empty 342 hand as her father was not able to arrange more cash. But my brother did not 343 listen to anything. He beaten her brutally and tried to force her to bring more 344 cash. But she knew her father‘s condition. She refused. My brother burnt her 345 alive in the kitchen that night. Aslam was in Delhi. My mother and I went to 346 rescue her. She was screaming a lot as she was engulfed by fire and her 347 scream pierced my heart. We covered her with a blanket and extinguished the 348 fire. She got severe burn injury. She was groaning in burnt pain like a fish out 349 of water. She was breathing with great difficulty. I cannot describe her 350 suffering. Her beautiful face became very ugly with lots of burnt marks, and 351 she was looking terrible. She was dying. My father cannot sleep without 352 sleeping pills. He also woke up after listening to her screaming and came 14

353 there. He started shouting at my brother: ‗What have you done idiot? You are 354 a panchayat election candidate. You will go to jail for lifetime if your crime is 355 proved. You must control your anger. You are behaving like a wild animal‘. 356 He was standing like a stone devoid of feelings with angry red eyes. ‗Papa, 357 please stop lecturing. Take her to the hospital immediately or else she will 358 die‘, I said to my father. ‗Hospital!!! Don‘t make this mistake. If she remains 359 alive and gives her statement to police, we all will spend rest of our life in jail. 360 She must have to die; otherwise, we will die‘. ‗No, papa. Please save her‘. I 361 was helpless and so was my mom and younger sister. My father locked us in 362 our room and strictly ordered to keep quiet and threatened not to say anything 363 to anyone. We did not dare to say anything to anyone. My younger sister lost 364 her consciousness after watching the terribly burnt body and face of Fatima. 365 Loud Hindi music sound was coming as a function of music and dance was 366 going on there in the panchayat meeting place of the village. The local village 367 club had arranged this as they do every year. The whole villagers went there 368 to enjoy the night. My father hit upon a plan. My father and brother opened 369 the gas of cylinder and threw fire and it burst very soon with loud noise. The 370 sound was so loud that the villagers who were deep drowned in the ocean of 371 music and dance woke up. Many people rushed to our home. The kitchen was 372 badly damaged. People discovered different parts of Fatima‘s body from here 373 and there. Women were heard crying. Men were shouting a lot. Police came 374 and did the investigation. It was recorded as an accident. Fatima‘s body pieces 375 were sent for post-mortem. Her parents were informed about the incidents and 376 they rushed from their village to our house. No one was able to stop her father 377 who was crying like a child and so was her mother. Later her elder sister 378 arrived. We were so deeply shocked that we were neither crying nor speaking. 379 We became stone. My father and elder brother were crying and acting wisely 380 as if they have lost a precious thing. They did play their role well. Nothing 381 happened to my father and elder brother. It was an accident. My brother won a 15

382 lot of sympathy from villagers as he lost his wife in a terrible gas tragedy and 383 won the election. He got a handsome amount from the insurance company as 384 he insured her life. People used to talk about the incident many days and after 385 months they forgot all about it. We also forgot all about it. After that, 386 gradually we all started living a normal life forgetting the past. But it put a 387 permanent scar in my heart. Whenever I remember that incident and her 388 terrible ugly burnt face, I lose my normalcy. But what can I do in this jungle? 389 I also started adjusting to live a happy life like a selfish person. Now I don‘t 390 feel that much. What is the value of the feelings? Most probably nothing! My 391 younger sister was given treatment for a long time under a psychiatrist. Later 392 she was admitted in boarding school to erase everything from her mind. Now 393 she is staying in the hostel. Now I don‘t mind this so deeply‖. 394 ―So sad! Poor Fatima! May Allah bless her and grant her Jannah (Heaven). 395 She will get justice from Allah‖. 396 ―Allah! Justice! Justice??? What a nice joke! The same thing Fatima‘s father 397 said again and again and consoled himself. Really it‘s a nice joke‖. 398 ―No, Sana … it is not a joke. Allah is swift in his account of justice, and 399 surely, he will do justice. Wait and see, he will punish your brother‖. 400 ―Really Allah will punish my brother??? I don‘t think so. See the irony of life; 401 my brother is enjoying his luxury life. He is going to marry an extremely 402 beautiful and smart girl. He is in love with her. She is from a wealthy Hindu 403 family. He has purchased a new luxury house in the town and a luxury car. 404 Last Sunday, we have visited his new house, which is full of luxurious 405 amenities. I don‘t know whether Fatima will be granted a Jannah but my 406 brother is going to live in Heaven very soon in his luxurious house‖. 407 ―Don‘t speak like a kaafer! (non-believer). This is a temporary pleasure. We 408 must not forget that this life is very short. Our real everlasting life is awaiting 409 after death. Each soul will get its reward according to its deed in this life. We 410 are here only to give a test, and indeed, it is a very short life. According to our 16

411 deeds in this life, we will either enjoy luxury life in Heaven eternally or will 412 be burnt in fire forever in Hell‖. 413 ―Fatima used to pray five times daily, every year she observed 30 days of 414 fasting during Ramzan, she used to love people—poor and rich equally, and 415 she gave respect to the servants. She was so pious and devout to Allah. But I 416 saw her get burnt alive in hell here. I don‘t know whether she will live in 417 peace in Jannah or not, but she is burnt in hellfire alive and I have seen it with 418 my own eyes. Where was Allah when she was screaming that night? Why did 419 He not save her? Where was His mercy? How did He allow her a devout pious 420 lady to get burnt alive? I don‘t know what was her crime for which she had to 421 pay her life in a horrible death‖. 422 ―Sana, have patience and you see one day she will get justice. I am sure‖. 423 ―Let‘s see if she gets justice‖. 424 We remained silent for a moment. 425 ―My father is a Muslim—only for namesake as I have never seen him to pray 426 or to go to mosque—not even on Fridays or to observe fasting for Allah. He 427 never cares for the basic fundamentals of Islam. He is living a lofty life. And 428 so are my brothers and in fact me also. My mother and I try to observe fasting 429 during Ramadan but quit after 4 or 5 days of fasting. Still, you see, my father 430 and brothers are living in AC home and moving here and there in AC car. 431 They have power, position and authority. People of the village respect them. 432 They have earned huge money to live a luxurious life. What else they need to 433 live?‖ 434 ―It is very sad but true part of our society. Leave the topic. You will be getting 435 late for marriage party‖. 436 ―Yeah. Now I don‘t care for such things. I forget to feel now. Whenever and 437 wherever getting a chance, I am enjoying my life. We don‘t know what will 438 happen tomorrow. So it is better to enjoy the present forgetting the past. That 439 is what I am doing‖. 17

440 ―Good. It is a very nice approach to enjoy life. Can you please bring that 441 assignment paper? We will find the answers‖. 442 ―Yes, I will do that. I don‘t know why I told you all these things. I did not 443 hesitate to tell you a grave secret of my family. Maybe my heart has full trust 444 in you. You have become very close to me‖. 445 ―I also trust you, Sana. I also feel you are very close to my heart. We share 446 many things without hesitation‖. 447 ―Really you feel me very close to your heart‖. 448 ―Yes. I do‖. 449 Sana brought the assignment paper and gave it to me. 450 ―I will bring some cold drink‖. 451 She went to bring some cold drink. As I was searching for content to find the 452 answer to the questions given in the assignment from the Internet, an adult site 453 opens up containing exclusive adult material. It excited me. Though I closed 454 the tab quickly, I was very much interested to see it. Sana came with cold 455 drink and we enjoyed it as she took another chair and sat beside me. Now she 456 seemed to be happy and cheerful. She started making some fun also. 457 ―I did not see your father and brothers at home today. Are they not at home?‖ 458 ―Aslam and papa are gone to Delhi for 5 days. They have some business 459 meetings. Asraaf (elder brother) hardly stays at home. He is staying at his new 460 home in the town. He is very busy with his party‖. 461 ―How is your sister?‖ 462 ―She is fine. She is doing her higher secondary in a boarding school. She is 463 staying in the hostel‖. 464 The weather was changing. It seemed that it was going to rain very soon. Very 465 soon, dark cloud covered the sky, and it started raining heavily. A middle- 466 aged woman (lady servant) came, kept a bottle of cool water and took cold 467 drink glasses. Sana asked her: 468 ―How is mom now?‖ 18

469 ―She is fine. She is sleeping‖. 470 ―OK‖. The woman left the room. 471 As I was searching a topic in Google, that adult site appeared again. Actually, 472 it was not closed—it remained minimized without my knowledge. I was 473 confused. I was trying to close it quickly. 474 ―Very hot site yaar! Wait! Wait!‖ said Sana. 475 I was totally silent. I was confused. I was at a loss. Sana went to the door and 476 closed it. She came and sat on my thigh. 477 ―Can you love me?‖ 478 ―Yes, I love you‖. 479 ―Then please love me…‖ 480 She hugs me affectionately and starts kissing me. I was afraid that if I got 481 caught red-handed, I would be killed by her brothers. Soon she offered her 482 virginity to me. I also lost control. We had our first sex. She was very curious 483 and so was I. 484 After this also she used to call me to her home whenever she was alone. We 485 used to enjoy. How did this lovely and sexy girl refuse sex to her husband? I 486 was in confusion. 487 My heart was not ready to believe the incident happened to Sana as narrated 488 by Juber to me. How did this happen? But I feel very sad for her. 489 490 19

491 492 Chapter III 493 My mother entered my room and saw my sad face. 494 ―What happened? You are looking so sad! What is the wrong with you?‖ 495 ―No mom, nothing is wrong … I am fine‖. 496 ―But you do not look fine. Tell me is there any problem? If you share your 497 problem with me, your mental burden will decrease. I may find some good 498 solution also. Please tell me what is the problem?‖ 499 ―I don‘t have any problem mom. Have you heard anything about Sana?‖ 500 ―Yes, she went to her in-law‘s house yesterday after her marriage. The whole 501 villagers know this. She is married to a very rich man. She will lead a happy 502 and luxurious life there. Are you still missing her? You are feeling sad as she 503 is married to someone. Dear son, make sensible demand in life according to 504 your family status. You know very well that we tried but her father was too 505 proud to talk to us‖. 506 ―I am not feeling sad for that mom. Today morning she is admitted in the 507 hospital‖. 508 ―Hospital! But why is she admitted in the hospital? Is there any big problem?‖ 509 ―She is brutally beaten and raped by her husband‖. 510 ―Raped by her husband! I have never heard such a thing that a woman can be 511 raped by her husband. It is unbelievable!! After all, he is her husband. We 512 cannot say it as rape‖. 513 ―But it has happened with her, mom‖. 514 ―I know that still you love her. But don‘t think any nonsense thing like raped 515 by the husband. How can a wife be raped by her husband? People will laugh‖. 516 ―Today morning she is admitted in the hospital as she suffered serious injury. 517 Her family went to rescue her. Juber also went with Aslam, and he told me the 518 incident—whatever he saw there‖. 20

519 ―Really she is injured seriously!‖ 520 ―Her husband has beaten her brutally like an animal. She is not able to breathe 521 properly. She is groaning in pain‖. 522 ―Just you think why a newly married wife will be beaten badly on the first 523 night by her husband. There is something wrong either with the wife or with 524 the groom‖. 525 ―Her husband is an animal. Nothing can be wrong from Sana‘s side as I know 526 her well‖. 527 ―We cannot say this so easily. She is an open girl and maintains relationship 528 with multiple boys. Maybe her husband has seen her secret messages or 529 caught her talking over the phone with her ex-boyfriends. We have heard a lot 530 of such things about her recently. She never wears hijab or remains under 531 control as a girl. She does not look like a Muslim girl from any point of view. 532 Her full family is like that. They are blind by their wealth. Thank God that her 533 father rejected your marriage proposal with her‖. 534 ―Mom, please don‘t think so. If a girl mingles with boys freely, it does not 535 mean that she has lost her character. She is a nice girl. I know her‖. 536 ―Her father is an overproud man. He didn‘t talk to your father properly when 537 your father went to him for your marriage proposal with Sana. Rather he 538 insulted your father‖. 539 ―Mom, please forget the past. Don‘t live in past. It is a very bad habit. Think 540 about the present and try to live in present. Don‘t get lost in the past and don‘t 541 be anxious about the future‖. 542 ―Alhamdulillah! I am very happy with my present. I am very much thankful to 543 Allah and to your father. By the grace of Allah, your father has given us a 544 very happy and peaceful life though we are not having a luxurious life like 545 Mr. Jafar (Sana‘s father). I don‘t live in the past. I think nowadays you are 546 living in the past more, and you have ignored the present totally. You are 547 wasting time in searching for a better job and writing competitive exams. For 21

548 the last 4 years, you are working hard to prepare yourself for civil service 549 exam, bank PO exam and other government job exam. You have tried your 550 best. Success is not for all. Maybe Allah has something much better for you. 551 Now you are in search of a private job that has no future. I think you are 552 burning midnight lamp in preparing competitive exams and interviews, and 553 you are ignoring your present for better but uncertain future. We don‘t know 554 what will happen tomorrow—even about the very next moment—but we are 555 planning a lot for a great future. Why don‘t you start working in our farm with 556 your father? Marry someone according to your level and live a happy peaceful 557 life. We will search a good girl for you. We don‘t want a luxurious life; all we 558 want is a peaceful life. Your father‘s earning is limited but still we are living 559 happily and enjoying our present‖. 560 ―OK mom, please stop your lecture. Enjoying the present! What is enjoying, 561 mom? We don‘t have a good house. We don‘t have enough cash to meet all 562 demands. We don‘t have quality amenities in the house to live a happy life. 563 How can you enjoy a happy and peaceful life? My friends are having nice 564 bikes, branded dress and costly mobiles. But I don‘t have any of them. I feel 565 very ashamed when I see them with these things‖. 566 ―My dear son, lifeless branded materials can never bring peace in life. They 567 only excite our desire, making our life a hell. You will never get peace unless 568 you abandon material desire, and please don‘t compare and compete with 569 others. This is the main reason of woe and misery in the world today. None is 570 satisfied in this world with what he has as he has grown the habit of 571 comparing and competing with others. If you waste your time in comparing 572 and competing with others, you will have no time to enjoy what you have in 573 your hand. That‘s why Allah has forbidden mankind to compare and compete 574 with each other. It is a dangerous disease of our society, and it is spreading 575 like cancer‖. 576 ―But the whole world is in competition. All are running in the race madly!‖ 22

577 ―See my son, people have learned to build very beautiful and attractive houses 578 with lots of amenities but the people who are living there are having very ugly 579 hearts—they cannot make that house a home. If there is no homely touch in 580 the house, then what is the use of the large beautiful house. You can see Mr. 581 Jafar‘s house as a live example of this. Be content with what Allah has given 582 you. People are wearing fashionable dresses to look beautiful and attractive 583 but they have lost inner beauty—the beauty of heart. Most probably to hide 584 the inner ugliness, people are wearing more and more costly dresses‖. 585 ―OK, mom. Please stop preaching. I have understood‖. 586 ―Your father was feeling sad as you are not going to the mosque for five 587 regular compulsory prayers. He was saying you are not in touch with Quran 588 and Sunnah of our Prophet Muhammad (PBUH). He is anxious about your 589 present and future. See my son, Allah has not guaranteed old age to all; our 590 death is certain and it can come anytime anywhere. So be prepared. Each soul 591 has to taste death, men–women, black–white, rich–poor, young–old, etc., and 592 they will return to their permanent home—to their Lord. Each soul will get its 593 reward according to its deeds‖. 594 ―Mom, please stop preaching me these old things. I know these things very 595 well‖. 596 ―I know you are feeling bored with my words. But this is the truth. Listen to 597 me, you better start working in our farm with your father. Here you can live a 598 life full of peace. It is better to live a life in peace than living a life in 599 prosperity and luxury devoid of peace. The day before yesterday your friend 600 Jayanta came with his wife to meet us. They have purchased a big house in the 601 city. Both husband and wife are working. They are earning well. They have 602 bought a new car also. But when I asked them how their life in the city is, they 603 gave a very grave reply: ―We are leading a life of a machine‖. They told that 604 they don‘t have time for each other. They are having a very busy schedule. On 605 weekends also, they are getting engaged in different works. That Jayanta who 23

606 was unhappy with his old home is still sad in his new house. He was saying 607 that morning he is going to office regularly and evening he is coming back, 608 and only in the night, he is sleeping in his house with the burdens of office 609 works. Earlier he was not having money to eat good food and to live in a 610 luxurious house. But now, he has money and a luxurious house but no time to 611 eat and live there. He told that he has become a slave of his daily routine. So 612 is the fate of his wife. She is also so busy with her job that she has no time and 613 passion to make that house a home. His parents went to live with him but 614 came back to their village home within a month, as they cannot find men and 615 women made of blood and flesh with feelings living in the house. They are 616 busy in saving money and paying EMI of their home loan and car loan. They 617 are leading a restless life. No time to think, thank or remember God. Whatever 618 free time they have is consumed to plan their future. How bad luck the baby 619 that is born in their house has! The baby is loved and cared for by an ayah. 620 They don‘t have time to love their own baby. May Allah lead us to the right 621 path‖. 622 ―Mom, I know it is the fact. It is a common story of our modern life. But we 623 cannot help it. We need money to get born, to live and to die. Without money, 624 we cannot imagine anything. If you have money, you have everything‖. 625 ―May Allah guide you to the right path. You are fully entrapped in the net of 626 Satan. May Allah save you from the whispering of Satan—the eternal enemy 627 of mankind. In fact, the people of the whole world are entrapped in the net of 628 Satan. They don‘t have time to remember and thank Allah, their Creator. So 629 how will they get inner satisfaction or a content life? The more they will earn, 630 the less they will be satisfied. That‘s why all people are busy in comparing 631 and competing with each other. Actually, what they think as development and 632 prosperity will ruin them forever‖. 633 I understood that my mom was not in a mood to stop her preaching, 634 and I was really feeling very bored. So I left my room saying that I am going 24

635 to meet one of my friends. I understood that without a job or good earning, it 636 was quite difficult to live in the society like a man. Whatever my mom has 637 said is the true fact but I have a big dream to become a rich man. After 638 completing graduation, I felt the extreme need of a job. Some of my friends 639 managed to get jobs either in private or in the government sector. But only a 640 few friends were lucky to get a job. Many of my friends are having the same 641 fate like me. We are madly searching for a job—in fact any job. To get a job, I 642 am madly attending multiple interviews in different cities, writing competitive 643 examinations for government job and taking coaching classes to prepare 644 myself for those competitive examinations. In the beginning, I started 645 searching for a job with extra confidence and less care, and I have attended 646 quite a number of interviews. But till now, I cannot find any progress in 647 getting a job. Now I really feel tired sometimes. My parents told me to do 648 farming. My father has enough land in our village to feed us. But who cares 649 for feeding. I was growing my dreams day by day in the field of my life. 650 My phone rings. I looked at the screen of my phone, and it was a call 651 from an unknown number. I received the call: 652 ―Hello. Am I talking to Mr. Sohail?‖ 653 ―Yes, speaking‖. 654 ―Sir, this is Shruti from Sigma Job Consultancy. We have received your 655 resume as you are searching for a job‖. 656 ―Yes madam, I am searching for a job‖. 657 ―You are shortlisted. You have to attend interview tomorrow in Delhi. We 658 will email and SMS you the details of the venue of interview‖. 659 ―Yes madam, please SMS me the address‖. 660 ―So can I confirm that you are coming to attend the interview?‖ 661 ―Yes madam, you can confirm. I will come to attend the interview‖. 662 ―But for confirmation, you have to pay Rs. 500 registration fees now using 663 Internet banking or debit card. I have sent a link to your email ID for the 25

664 payment. Once your payment is completed, a slip will be generated in the 665 system. You have to take a print copy of the same and you have to bring it to 666 attend the interview. Please complete your payment as soon as possible 667 because vacancies are limited‖. 668 ―OK, madam. I will do that by evening. I will go to the Internet café and 669 complete the payment‖. 670 ―OK, bye bye … Wish you all the best in getting your dream job with Sigma 671 Job Consultancy‖. 672 ―OK, madam. Thank you very much‖. 673 I came home immediately as it was 4 pm. I went to my mom. 674 ―Mom, I need some money‖. 675 ―What will you do with the money?‖ 676 ―Tonight, I am starting for Delhi. Tomorrow, I have an interview. I am 677 shortlisted to attend an interview for a job‖. 678 ―But all of a sudden …‖ 679 ―It does not matter, mom. I will board the train at night, and tomorrow, I will 680 reach there early in the morning‖. 681 ―Do you have confirmed ticket?‖ 682 ―How will I have confirmed ticket? Now only I am informed about the 683 interview‖. 684 ―But without confirmed ticket, an overnight train journey is very difficult. 685 You won‘t get berth to sleep‖. 686 ―Don‘t worry, mom. I will manage a seat with the help of TTE‖. 687 ―OK, I will ask for money from you father. He is gone to mosque to offer 688 afternoon prayer now. Let him come home‖. 689 ―OK, I am going to the Internet café to make an online payment and to take a 690 print copy of the payment receipt. You please take money from father and 691 keep with you‖. 692 ―Rs. 500 will be enough or you need more‖. 26

693 ―If possible, manage Rs. 1,000 as I have to purchase some competition exam 694 preparation magazines and books in Delhi‖. 695 ―OK, I will try‖. 696 I started going towards the Internet café situated in the town 4 km away from 697 my village. When I reached there, I was surprised to see it was fully crowded. 698 Actually tomorrow, there is a competitive exam for Group D in Delhi. Many 699 candidates are taking print out of their exam admit card. Many boys are 700 playing video games in the café—in fact, they are playing a very dangerous 701 game full of violence. No system was free. The café owner told me to wait for 702 1 hour. I went to another café but there also the situation was the same. 703 Anyway, I had to wait for my turn. I made the payment, took the print out and 704 started for home. I got an SMS. It was a message from the bank about the 705 debit of Rs. 500 from my account, and it showed that Rs. 357.65 was the 706 balance left in my account. And I got another message. It was from Sigma Job 707 Consultancy. I got the address of my interview venue in Delhi. I hurried 708 towards home because I have to get ready and come back here again to catch a 709 train at night. Daily three or four trains pass during the night through this 710 route, and they have stoppage at this station. I came back home. As I entered 711 home, I got a nice smell of food being cooked for dinner. I went straight to 712 mom in the kitchen. She was busy with making some special food. 713 ―Mom, have you taken money from father?‖ 714 ―Yes, your father has given Rs. 500 as he is not having more at the moment. I 715 will give Rs. 300 that I have saved for last 3 months‖. 716 ―I think this much is enough. Thank you very much‖. 717 ―Say thanks to Allah. We cannot give anything to anyone without His grace. 718 When Allah will give you, it will be more than your expectation‖. 719 ―OK mom, I will get ready soon‖. 720 ―You get ready. I have prepared dinner early for you‖. 721 ―Thank you very much, mom‖. 27

722 My sisters came and asked: 723 ―Brother, you are going to Delhi. Can you please bring some colourful glass 724 bangles from Delhi for us?‖ 725 ―Who will give money?‖ I asked with a smile. 726 ―We will give you money‖. 727 ―OK then I will bring if I get time‖. 728 They gave me Rs. 80 for bringing glass bangles. Meantime my father calls 729 me. I went to him: 730 ―Yes, papa. Did you call me?‖ 731 ―At least say salaam to me. It will give you inner strength‖. 732 ―Sorry, papa. Assalamualaikum, papa‖. 733 ―Walekum salaam‖. 734 There was a pause for a moment. After a few seconds, my father asked, 735 ―Which interview are you going to attend tomorrow?‖ 736 ―It is organized by a job consultancy. Many companies will participate and 737 directly recruit candidates‖. 738 ―For which post you are shortlisted?‖ 739 ―For sales executive‖. 740 ―So you want to become a sales executive. You will be selling the assigned 741 products door to door. You are ready to become a salesman. But you have a 742 problem to work in your own farm just because you don‘t like farming and it 743 will degrade your prestige among friends‖. 744 ―Not only this Papa, there is no future in farming. Farmers are committing 745 suicide. Everyday news is showing what a terrible life these farmers are 746 leading. There is no chance to earn more. There is no way for getting 747 promotion. My life will become stagnant. All progress of my life will stop if I 748 take farming as my profession. Even I cannot manage my own expenses from 749 farming. I cannot live like you‖. 28

750 ―OK. After all, it is your life. You have to decide what is best for you. May 751 Allah fulfil your wish and lead you on the right path of honesty‖. 752 For a moment, we remained silent. 753 ―So how much salary will they offer?‖ 754 ―Let me get first selected; now, they only shortlisted me. Salary will be 755 decided based on my performance in interview‖. 756 ―Have you booked the ticket?‖ 757 ―No. I will manage it with the TTE‖. 758 ―Try to manage a ticket. Otherwise, it will be very difficult to do night 759 journey‖. 760 ―Yes. I will try‖. 761 ―OK. May Allah bless you‖. 762 My elder sister called me for dinner. I had finished my dinner quickly. Mom 763 made delicious chicken biryani but my mind was so busy that hardly I can 764 enjoy its taste. After finishing the dinner, I got ready for the station. 765 ―Have you taken all necessary documents for the interview?‖ asked mom. 766 ―Yes, I have taken‖. 767 ―Please check once again else you will be in problem there if you forget any‖. 768 ―Yes mom, I have checked it well. I have taken all necessary documents‖. 769 I took my bicycle and started moving towards the station. My mind became 770 busy and many past interactions with my father got flashed in my mind as I 771 was riding my bicycle alone on the moonlit road. 772 773 My father is very much happy with his agriculture and sweet home and lovely 774 village and his beloved family that was his heart. But I don‘t like cultivation. 775 It will be my prestige issue if I work in the field of my father as a farmer— 776 especially after passing graduation. I need a good earning job for a better 777 lifestyle—an Apple iPhone in hand, a stylish bike or if possible a car, branded 778 pants, shirts, shoes, costly TV with big screen, fashioned home, pets, multiple 29

779 girlfriends and, of course, a modern beautiful smart wife and enough cash to 780 fulfil her demands. My father doesn‘t have a big ambition in his life. His 781 demands in life are limited. In fact, he is leading a happy and content life in 782 his village. He goes to the nearby town for shopping when he needs seeds, 783 manure or any household items. He is always busy with his farming work and 784 more busy in the remembrance of Allah. He regularly offers five compulsory 785 prayers, observes one-month fasting (Ramzan) every year and works hard to 786 keep his family happy. He is always content with what he has; hardly he has 787 made any complaint about not having this or that. He always gives thanks to 788 Allah by saying ―Alhamdulillah‖ for every small things or happiness. 789 Sometimes, he wakes up at midnight and starts special prayer (Tahajjud) in 790 the remembrance of Almighty Allah, and sometimes, he starts crying like a 791 child asking for His forgiveness or praying for others—for the peace of the 792 world. He disturbs our sleep early in the morning as he calls us for morning 793 first prayer (Fazar). My mother and sisters will get up early in the morning for 794 prayer except me. I used to watch TV till late night, and naturally, I had to 795 sleep more in early morning. My father loves me a lot but sometimes, he 796 shouts at me as I have developed some bad habits with my friends. I don‘t 797 pray regularly nor do I observe fasting during the holy month of Ramzan. In 798 my family, all listen to my father‘s order and follows his instructions strictly 799 not being afraid but for the sake of his love and care. His family is his whole 800 world—hardly he has done anything for self, whatever he is doing is only to 801 bring happiness and prosperity to the family. He remains happy with small 802 things. He himself cooks special food on every Friday for all of us, and really, 803 the food he cooks on Friday is extremely delicious and the whole family 804 enjoys it. He regularly helps mom in daily household works, and I have never 805 see him getting angry with my mom or sisters. But sometimes, he becomes 806 angry at me, and he exerts his anger of love and care when I do something that 807 he doesn‘t like. Sometimes, he will take a long counselling class for me 30

808 quoting from the noble Quran and Prophet Muhammad‘s (PBUH) life. He was 809 anxious about my worldly life as well as the life after this world. He always 810 tries to teach us to follow the right path. I sometimes express sadness, as we 811 don‘t have a big house, good sources of income, motorcycle, big screen TV, 812 good bank balance, etc., like my other friends. My father will say to me with 813 his soothing words to make me happy: ―Express your gratitude to Almighty 814 Allah that you have regular meals, a roof to take shelter, a happy family to 815 take care of you and good health. Many people don‘t have this much also. 816 Many people are suffering a lot in this world. So be grateful to Allah for 817 having these things. Try to enjoy what you have, don‘t feel sad for those 818 things that you are not having‖. And he advises me not to compare and 819 compete with others in terms of wealth, health, beauty, power or position. He 820 continues to say that these things are temporary—these things will lead us to 821 temptation, the great sin. Satan diverts us with these ugly things; these things 822 may be today in someone‘s hand and tomorrow it may go to other‘s hand. But 823 your character and Imaan (honesty) will remain with you forever here in this 824 world, and you will find a great reward after this world. Why people cry for 825 those ugly and temporary things (beauty, power or position, wealth, etc.); we 826 cannot carry them with us after our death, which is sure to come any time. 827 Nothing is real in this world except death; nothing is sure in this world except 828 death. You must have to return to Him from Whom you came here. Here you 829 came to give your test, and after that, you will get the reward according to 830 your work—perpetual peaceful happy luxurious life in Heaven if you do good 831 deeds or everlasting unbearable torture and pain in the fire of Hell for 832 wrongdoers. If you have led an honest and just life, you will enjoy this 833 worldly life and, of course, the life after death in heaven which is permanent. 834 So don‘t compare and compete with others. If you do so, you will forget to 835 enjoy whatever you have in your hand. Rather be thankful to Allah who has 836 given you nice eyes to see, ears to hear, mouth to eat and speak, tongue to 31

837 taste, legs to walk or hands to do good work. There are many people in this 838 world who don‘t have all these things; they don‘t have two regular meals or a 839 roof to get shelter. They suffer a lot; you must be happy and thankful to Allah 840 who has given you so many things. 841 After listening to my father‘s lectures, I used to feel bored and 842 sometimes uneasy. But when I sit alone or sit with a sad heart, my father‘s 843 words echo in my ears and seem to be very true. But again, I forget and 844 become busy with my friends to enjoy my life. As I rode on my bicycle 845 thinking all these, I reached the station very soon. I kept my bicycle in the 846 cycle stand by paying Rs. 5 and went to the ticket counter to get a ticket. But 847 the counter was full of people. I was waiting in a long queue to get ticket. 848 Only one ticket counter was in operation out of three ticket counters. I heard 849 an announcement that a train is coming soon on platform no. 2 bound to 850 Delhi. Actually, this train was scheduled to pass at 4 pm but it was running 6 851 hours late. I had least chance to catch this train, as I need to stand in queue at 852 least 30 minutes to get my ticket. Many people who all were standing in the 853 queue like me started shouting at the counterman: ―Brother please hurry up. 854 Give the ticket fast. The train is coming soon. Fast! Fast!‖ 855 But it did not reach to him. He was issuing tickets using the computer at a 856 slow pace searching each letter and numbers one by one from the keyboard 857 through his big and powerful eyeglasses. 858 The train reached on the platform. Many people ran towards the train without 859 taking ticket fearing that they may miss the train, as it will stop here only for 2 860 or 3 minutes. If they wait for the ticket, they may miss it. So I also went to 861 catch this train without a ticket. But it was overcrowded. I talked to the TTE if 862 he can manage a berth but he replied that there is no berth in sleeper or AC 863 coach. I cannot dare to travel in general coaches, as there was no space to put 864 my feet. So I came back again to the ticket counter but this time the queue was 865 longer than before. Already I made enough progress in the queue earlier but 32

866 now again, I had to start from the last. Anyhow after waiting and standing in 867 the long queue for a long time, I managed to get the ticket. 868 869 33

870 871 Chapter IV 872 I was waiting for the next train in the station. It seemed that the station 873 was more overcrowded compared to other days. A man came and requested to 874 manage little space for him so that he can also sit on the platform seat where I 875 was already sitting. Unwillingly, I managed little space for him. As he sat 876 down, I lost the comfort of sitting. After sitting, he started reading an evening 877 newspaper. 878 ―Why this much crowd? It is not even festive season‖, he asked me casually. 879 ―Tomorrow, there is a Group D exam for government job. I think that is the 880 main reason for this crowd‖. 881 ―There is an open rally for recruitment in army in Agra Cantt tomorrow. For 882 that also crowd is too much‖, said another man who was sitting beside me. 883 ―Day by day, the number of unemployed youths is increasing at a fast speed. 884 If they get any vacancy information, they will rush there in large number‖, 885 said another man. 886 ―Last week, Public Service Commission has received 5,70,846 applications 887 for 52 clerk posts. Now you can imagine how many unemployed persons are 888 there in the society‖, said the man who was reading the newspaper. 889 ―Government is sleeping. It does not take a step to generate employment. It is 890 totally careless for the welfare of the unemployed youth‖. 891 ―How much government will do alone? People are also responsible for this‖. 892 ―How people are responsible? What people will do if there is no place to 893 work?‖ 894 ―Actually tendency is changing. Everybody wants government job. We don‘t 895 want to send our children to the government school, and we don‘t like to get 896 treatment from government hospitals, but we all want a government job‖. 34

897 ―Government should privatize these sectors. Many people will get a job, and 898 the public will also get good service‖. 899 ―How public will get good service? Our political leaders are corrupted. They 900 are hoarding the mountains of money. They don‘t care for the public‖. 901 ―Actually many people are working in private sectors but they cannot find job 902 security like government sector, and the workload is too high. That‘s why all 903 want only government job. If the government properly supervise and control 904 working condition and salary and security of job in the private sector, people 905 can work peacefully there‖. 906 ―We are living in a dangerous age. See the news headlines; you can 907 understand what an uncertain life we are leading. Local, national and 908 international news everywhere horrible news are there: rape, murder, riot, 909 bombing, air striking, dangerous virus attack, terrorist attack, scams, 910 corruption, burning alive, cheating, looting and so on‖. 911 An announcement is heard. According to this announcement, the train we are 912 waiting for is delayed by 2 hours. 913 914 An old man was also sitting with us. He started saying a long unending theory. 915 ―Human being is destroying itself. Now the trend is changed. We are trying to 916 be modern—even ultra-modern. But actually, this is leading us to be 917 primitive. Now youth has lost total interest in agriculture. And the government 918 is also totally ignorant. Farmers are committing suicide. Government is trying 919 to increase industrialization and encouraging corporate and service sector. 920 Government‘s effort to boost agriculture is almost nothing. The human can 921 survive in this earth without industrialization and corporate sector but human 922 existence cannot be possible without agriculture. Agriculture has vast 923 potentiality. We are eating bad quality food mixed with artificial things or 924 grown using chemical fertilizer. Due to modernization and industrialization, 925 we have made so much progress that plastic rice is available in the market— 35

926 we will soon start eating plastic. As a result, dangerous diseases are becoming 927 common, and human growth and strength are decreasing. Days are not too far 928 away when human strength and thinking power will get transferred to the 929 machine—we all know about robots and artificial intelligence. We have made 930 money as servant but now, it has become a most powerful master. In the same 931 way, these machines will become our master one day. Living will become 932 impossible without them…‖. 933 I was getting bored. It was very difficult to pass time. Anyway, after two and a 934 half hours, the train arrived. We all became busy in getting a seat but this train 935 was also full. I tried to get into the general compartment but it was so full that 936 it was impossible to get inside. Even I cannot put my feet on the pedal as 937 people were hanging from the door. I mentally got prepared to make a horrible 938 train journey. Yes, it was really a horrible journey! People were travelling like 939 animals—better to say like some things packed as much as possible. But 940 things are packed with care so that they do not get damaged but in this general 941 compartment, people were packed in the worst condition. I was wondering 942 how they will breathe. So I tried to get a place in the sleeper coach. Believe 943 me, the sleeper compartment had no place to put my two legs properly. You 944 cannot imagine how a compartment that has the capacity of 72 persons was 945 carrying more than two hundred people—men and women. It was the situation 946 of a sleeper class compartment. People were hanging from the door. The 947 journey was not for 1 or 2 hours but for at least 6 hours. Now imagine what a 948 horrible journey it was, standing in a fully crowded compartment for the 949 whole night without sleeping. The problem will increase when someone needs 950 to alight, going for toilet from the middle of the compartment. He or she has 951 to struggle hard to get a path to the toilet room. In case of emergency, only 952 God knows what will happen. Still, people make fun, laugh and talk, and the 953 expert tea sellers or other vendors will entertain the passengers with their 954 calls—―Tea, tea, tea, coffee, coffee, coffee, cigarette, bidi, gutkha, pan 36

955 masala, boiled eggs and so on‖. These vendors are expert; they will manage a 956 path inside the fully crowded compartment and they will sell also. Really, it is 957 a great art! What a big expert they are! They can manage a path but I cannot 958 because I am not an expert like them. But I have to travel in this train anyhow. 959 Otherwise, I won‘t be able to reach Delhi to attend the interview. I saw a TTE. 960 I approached him to arrange a seat in sleeper coach but he was surrounded by 961 many people who had same fate like me. All were trying to allure him with 962 money to get a seat. But he refused saying that there were no vacant berths. I 963 had previous experiences of such horrible train journey. It is not that other day 964 the train is not crowded. But today it is extremely crowded. Sleeper class 965 passengers who have paid good fare for a berth are also facing unwanted 966 trouble and not able to do a comfortable journey. In spite of this worse 967 situation, people are talking, laughing, shouting and joking. It was midnight. 968 The train is moving at a limited speed, as there was dense fog. Outside it is 969 very cold and one can feel the silence that prevails outside except the train‘s 970 noise. Nothing can be seen as the fog was thick. After 2 hours of journey, I 971 was not able to stand properly, and there was no place to sit. The train stopped 972 at a station. I started searching for the TTE again expecting that if any berth is 973 vacated as some passengers got down there. I met the TTE and asked him to 974 manage a seat. He told that he can offer a seat in AC if I can pay him Rs. 975 1,000. But I didn‘t have that much money with me. I requested him very 976 politely and gently, and he agreed for Rs. 500. Finally, I got a berth in AC. 977 Here it was not overcrowded, and inside, it was rather comfortable. Almost all 978 the passengers are sleeping. I also tried to sleep. But the TTE told me that 979 someone will come to claim the seat in the next station, and I have to vacate it. 980 He will manage another seat as someone will get down also. I agreed and tried 981 to sleep. Three hours was over but no one came to claim that seat as the train 982 was late. Due to fog and railway technical problem, the train was not getting 983 the green signal. It was halting here and there for hours and moving slowly. 37

984 Now it was morning and nobody came to claim that seat. I saw that the 985 passengers were getting up from their sleep. The midnight noise of that coach 986 was still ringing in my ears, especially jokes and laughing and vendor‘s sale 987 shouting. But the AC coach is almost silence. Passengers sitting here are busy 988 within themselves as if they have forgotten to talk and laugh openly and 989 heartily. All seems to carry tonnes of tension. Anyway, I reached Delhi 3 990 hours late. I caught a bus bound to my destination and reached the hotel where 991 the interview was going on. I got refreshed in the train itself and had tea and 992 biscuit at the station. The registration counter was also surrounded by many 993 persons like me. Someone came and told the candidates to make a queue for 994 registration smoothly. We all followed that obediently. I was waiting as my 995 number was 79, and my turn will come after 78 candidates. As I was sitting 996 and waiting, many past events flashed in my mind and I became reminiscent 997 for a moment remembering old days in school and college. How happy and 998 carefree were those days; all demands were fulfilled by our parents. After 999 waiting up to 2 pm, I was not able to control my hunger as my stomach was 1000 deliberately demanding some food. I enquired at the registration counter when 1001 my turn will come, the counter girl in her beautiful attire and sweet voice told 1002 me to wait for a couple of hours more. A couple of hours more! I went outside 1003 to have some food. I found a street vendor selling hot and spicy food ―chhole 1004 bhature‖ for Rs. 20 per plate, and without thinking anything, I galloped one 1005 plate. I can never find the nice taste of food sold on the street in AC hotels; I 1006 always enjoy the street food as it does not cut my pocket that much. I had a 1007 bad habit of smoking cigarette and I was longing for one. But I was thinking 1008 whether the smell might disturb the interviewer. But I can manage the smell 1009 by chewing some mouth fresheners. So I enjoyed smoking a cigarette and 1010 started chewing mouth freshener. I went back to the hotel where the interview 1011 was in progress. I sat on a chair and was waiting for my turn. Now, candidate 1012 no. 42 is going for the interview. Two hours was over, and the time was 38

1013 around 5 pm. After half an hour, someone came and informed to the rest of 1014 the waiting candidates that the interview was postponed for tomorrow. We 1015 have to come tomorrow. They will follow the same order. So we all started to 1016 move and find some shelter in the city to pass the night as outside it was very 1017 cold. But it was quite difficult to find a shelter as the cost of room rent was too 1018 high. I had spent my money to get a seat in the train. Now I have around Rs. 1019 400 only. I was searching for a dharmashala for a cheaper accommodation but 1020 all were filled. It was late evening. I heard Azan (night prayer call) from a 1021 mosque. I was not used to pray regularly except Friday special prayer. So I 1022 didn‘t pay heed to this. I found a street vendor selling full plate chicken 1023 biryani for Rs. 50 and half plate for Rs. 30. I filled my stomach with a plate of 1024 chicken biryani. It was hot, spicy and very tasty. I started searching for a 1025 cheap shelter here and there. I saw a big building and many people were 1026 making their bed at the front open space under the hanging roof of the 1027 building—most of them were beggars and labourers. They have no home in 1028 the city but they manage to live like that. It was already 9 pm. I was totally 1029 exhausted and had no plan to search anymore as my legs were not ready to 1030 cooperate. So I also tried to manage a space there. I arranged my bed by 1031 unfolding some newspapers and put my bag to be used as a pillow. But it was 1032 very cold and the floor was cold too. It seemed very difficult to sleep. I took 1033 out my shawl from the bag and wrapped myself. I saw many of them were 1034 drinking some cheap local liquor to escape the cold and to get rid of the pain 1035 due to the day‘s labour. I was looking at them. One of them offered me a glass 1036 of liquor—I didn‘t deny the offer. Sometimes, I used to drink with my friends 1037 occasionally and secretly. I had friends from multiple religions and caste, and 1038 I had full faith that they will never inform this to my father. My father is a 1039 strict person and he practises Islam as much as possible—money doesn‘t 1040 matter to him but dignity matters. They were eating something and were 1041 talking with each other—nothing serious or important; it was all about their 39

1042 daily life. They were eating, talking, joking, laughing and drinking. They were 1043 homeless but you cannot trace any disappointment in their face for not having 1044 a home. They have nothing but still they were happy. It was very cold but they 1045 did not complain about it. As I was a newcomer in the folk, I was not able to 1046 mingle with them instantly but I also contributed little joke and had a laugh 1047 with them. It made me forget the ordeal day. I was thinking many things but 1048 actually nothing. I can hear the snoring noise from some of them. They all are 1049 sleeping a sound sleep under their old, dirty and torn blanket. Vehicles were 1050 moving at a moderate speed but the number of vehicles decreased and nobody 1051 can be seen on the street. It was completely silent. The road was getting 1052 covered with fog, and gradually, the tall buildings got covered with dense fog. 1053 Street lights became dim due to the dense fog. Now the road also started 1054 taking rest and seemed that it was going to sleep as the nature was going to 1055 wrap it with her foggy blanket, and very few vehicles were passing. The 1056 weary city road was sleeping and people were sleeping—in fact, the whole 1057 city was sleeping. Deep darkness covered the city as the King of Darkness, 1058 Satan, was going to reign. Nature covered the city in darkness to hide it from 1059 the evil eye of Satan, to save it from the danger of Satan. Only I was not able 1060 to sleep as I was not accustomed to it. I can hear the sound of the patrolling 1061 police van. I also hear the sound of an ambulance. Later, a fire extinguisher 1062 vehicle was moving at a high speed, making its special sound. The city 1063 became completely silent. A few hours before, the streets were crowded with 1064 people of different attire and fashion, and they were more lively when the 1065 band of beautiful girls was passing in the evening with their friends in modern 1066 attire. The road was restless with unnumbered vehicles and traffic here and 1067 there. Now it is completely silent. All are sleeping. 1068 People prefer to live in this concrete jungle. We all like to have a home 1069 in the city—the jungle of concrete—without a heart or feeling. We all know 1070 cities are heartless but still, we like it. If someone comes to my village at night 40

1071 like me, he/she will never have to pass the night under the open sky or on the 1072 street because someone will offer food and shelter—it‘s sure. My village 1073 people may not be as rich as this city people but they are much richer by heart. 1074 They have a small house but still, they will arrange a shelter for a person in 1075 need. My village is very nice and beautiful. But it cannot give me a job of my 1076 choice. So I leave it and come to the city in search of job. Again, my mind 1077 started to get the flashes of my past. If I was at home, my mother will force 1078 me to drink a glass of hot milk sometimes with turmeric powder which I 1079 dislike. But I miss it a lot in this severe cold. My soft and comfortable bed will 1080 be cleaned and ready either by mom or by my sisters. I am the prince of my 1081 home. Uh! It is too cold to bear—the floor and the wind all were cold. How 1082 they are sleeping! 1083 1084 41

1085 1086 Chapter V 1087 1088 It was midnight. Suddenly, I heard a sharp scream—a deep scream of heavy 1089 pain and torture. When I heard this, I was little drowsy due to that liquor, and 1090 others were sleeping—in fact, the whole city was sleeping as if all have drunk 1091 the liquor of carelessness, heartlessness and ignorance. The sharp scream 1092 became sharper, it was coming from an oncoming bus, the scream was 1093 unbearable and it pierced my heart when the bus came very close to me and 1094 passed. The scream got fade as the bus moved away from me. It was not heard 1095 anymore when the bus went out of my sight. I tried to awake myself to help 1096 the victim. But I was too tired to walk, and my legs became senseless and 1097 frozen due to the shivering cold. I found that my legs were not under my 1098 control. I tried to get control over them, soon blood started flowing to the 1099 veins of my legs and they started becoming active again. It was the screaming 1100 sound of a girl who has become a prey of some animals in the jungle of 1101 concrete. I cannot ignore this. I tried to stand straight but still, I felt that my 1102 legs were not fully active. I kept trying and soon my legs become active. But 1103 it was too late. I sat back. I thought to inform the police about this incident by 1104 dialling 100. So I took my mobile from the bag but unfortunately, it was dead 1105 as the battery was over. ―What will happen to that girl! Oh Allah save her‖. I 1106 started praying for her as I learnt this from my father. My father taught us that 1107 prayer has great strength, and it can make impossible things possible; the 1108 concept of possible and impossible is in our mind only, and there is nothing 1109 impossible for Allah, the great and the Creator of the universe. So I also 1110 started praying for her. But will Allah accept my prayer because I am not as 1111 devout to Allah as my father, and I hardly follow the practical rules of Islam 1112 taught by my father. I don‘t pray five times, I don‘t complete all 30 days of 42

1113 fasting in the sacred month of Ramzan—after 2 or 3 days of fasting, I skipped 1114 it telling lame excuse. If my father starts shouting at me, my mother will 1115 become a safeguard. My father taught me, ―Zina (unlawful sexual relation or 1116 adultery) is a great crime in Islam whether you do it openly, forcibly or 1117 secretly—you have to pay for it in this world and after this world. Ocean of 1118 fire will be waiting for the criminal to burn him or her eternally. So don‘t 1119 commit adultery sin‖. But I did. I was trapped in the net of love of a girl, 1120 ignored study and became busy to satisfy her thirst secretly. Though I also got 1121 pleasure, it was a temporary pleasure. It didn‘t last long. She left me as I was 1122 no more useful because her marriage was arranged with a rich person by her 1123 parents, and she easily forgot me. She used me as her time pass toy and an 1124 object of enjoyment. My father occasionally used to teach all of us the basic 1125 things of Islam, which include the following: not to hurt anyone, not to laugh 1126 at anyone, not to usurp anyone‘s money or property, not to tell lie, not to kill 1127 any human (if you kill a human it will be assumed that you have killed the 1128 whole humanity), not to commit adultery sin, not to have sex without 1129 marriage, not to indulge in backbiting, not to disclose anyone‘s secrecy, pray 1130 five times a day so that you always remember your Lord and abstain from all 1131 crime and evil punch, complete 30 days of fasting to revitalize your internal 1132 organs by giving special rest to your body in the sacred month of Ramadan 1133 and obtain special grace of Allah, always remember Allah to get inner 1134 satisfaction, have patience during hard days and pray more, glorify Allah 1135 more during happy moments and give thanks to Allah, and follow the orders 1136 and teaching of Hazrat Muhamed (SA) practically in life. But I am a Muslim 1137 only because of my birth; practically, I am not a Muslim. My father taught my 1138 sisters how to behave and how to appear in the society and so did my mother. 1139 My father taught them that women are the diamonds, and diamonds cannot be 1140 left here and there ignorant or uncovered; they must be kept in the most safe 1141 place and in proper way so that others cannot see them. My younger sister did 43

1142 not like to be in hijab and used to argue with my mother. My father asked her, 1143 ―If the road is full of dust and dirty things, what will you do? Will you cover 1144 your feet or will you cover the road? Allah has created women in such a way 1145 that you are special and easily all eyes be on you—so better to save yourself. 1146 Instead of covering the road, cover your feet, and you will not get dusty‖. She 1147 did not dare to argue anymore. My father very gently and lovingly told her, 1148 ―In the beginning, humans were naked and Allah taught them to cover 1149 themselves. Initially, they learned to use minimum clothes, and as the society 1150 progressed, humans learned to use maximum clothes as a mark of civilized 1151 and progressive society. So don‘t try to be primitive again by wearing less 1152 clothes and don‘t show your body. Allah has forbidden to compare and 1153 compete with each other and not to show your wealth to others. Don‘t make 1154 love or show your love to your spouse in front of those who are unmarried or 1155 not getting love, don‘t boast of your health in front of those who are suffering 1156 from diseases and don‘t show your wealth in front of the poor. Always be 1157 humble and remain down-to-earth. If you cannot help people, then at least 1158 don‘t hurt or harm them. Don‘t take revenge rather try to be friendly even 1159 with your enemies and so on‖. My father used to teach us these fundamental 1160 principles of Islam being a Muslim. But I was far away from following these 1161 principles. As I was sunk in the memory of past, I was feeling drowsy as if my 1162 body wanted to sleep but the shivering cold didn‘t allow me to sleep. Last 1163 night was also a bad night for me. 1164 All of a sudden, I heard another scream—a scream of a girl. Her 1165 scream pierced through my ears. I stood up and tried to find from where it was 1166 coming. Actually, it was coming from the basement of the building where I 1167 was trying to sleep. The darkness covered the night, and it became darker due 1168 to the heavy dense fog. Everywhere silence prevailed except that basement. A 1169 painful cry for help and deep agony was coming through the scream. I tried to 1170 see what was going on; why was the girl crying? As I moved inside the 44

1171 basement of the building, I saw the guard was sleeping after drinking a lot as 1172 the liquor bottle was there. I tried to wake him but I was not able to awake 1173 him. The scream was becoming more sharp and deep as if someone groaning 1174 in deep pain. I was also afraid as I was not aware of what was going on. As I 1175 went a little far, I saw a car standing with its dim light. Three men were 1176 torturing a short heighted, fair complexioned girl; they tore her clothes making 1177 her almost naked, and one person was busy in beating her heartlessly while 1178 the other two hold her so that she cannot defend herself. I doubted that they 1179 will kill her as the torture was horrible. He was kicking at her lower abdomen 1180 and punching on her body here and there. She was groaning in deep and 1181 unbearable pain helplessly. That man was saying something angrily at her: 1182 ―We have bought you and you must please our customers but you are 1183 misbehaving with our customers. Today, we will give you special training 1184 how to please a man‖. 1185 ―Make her lie on the ground‖, said that angry wolf. 1186 The scene was like a deer that was caught by three hungry wolves. The 1187 wolves were ready to tear her into pieces. If I still watch it like a deaf and 1188 dumb, they will eat her flesh alive. I quickly went to those people with whom 1189 I was sleeping, forcefully awoke them and informed the matter. Many of them 1190 rushed towards the basement. As we started moving towards the wolves and 1191 started shouting at them, they became afraid. They got into the car leaving her 1192 alone and went away at a high speed. I ran to her. Blood was coming from her 1193 mouth and nose. She was almost naked. She was a fair, beautiful and short 1194 height girl—she was seemed to be a Nepali. Her body bears scratching marks 1195 here and there. Oh my god! A bottle of cold drink was half inserted inside her 1196 private part. She lost consciousness. We were totally shocked to see her 1197 wretched condition. She was in need of immediate medical care. One of the 1198 labourers brought a shawl and covered her naked body. We took her to the 1199 nearby hospital. But the doctor wants police report before starting treatment. 45

1200 Two persons went to the police station and reported the matter. After 15 1201 minutes, police came to see the matter. The police started interrogating us and 1202 we informed the matter to the police. I took the police to the site of crime and 1203 explained everything that I saw. The police started investigating the matter. I 1204 came back to the hospital. Almost 4 hours was over but still, she was 1205 unconscious. The police told us to stay there. But my bag was left at that place 1206 where I was sleeping, and others were also having their belongings there. So I 1207 and one labourer stayed in the hospital. Rest went to that place. I told them to 1208 take care of my bag. It was very cold but we forgot all about it and even we 1209 did not feel it at that time. After 1 hour, the nurse told us that she has gained 1210 consciousness. I went to her but she was still afraid and not so fine. The 1211 hospital authority informed the police that she has gained conscious. The 1212 police came to take her statement. She gave her statement to the police. We all 1213 were shocked to hear her sad and pathetic story. She started to narrate her tale: 1214 ―I am Layara from Nepal. I am 14 years old. A devastating flood destroyed 1215 everything. Many villages were devastated. We lost everything. We got a 1216 shelter under a relief camp where many homeless people like us took shelter. 1217 This help was provided to us by an NGO. The food packets we got were not 1218 enough to satisfy our hunger. After 3 days, we were staying there without 1219 food and water as the supply of food was very less. Many people were ill but 1220 there was no medical facility. We don‘t know what to do? Where to go? How 1221 to overcome the problem? All the matters were uncertain. My younger brother 1222 was suffering from a high fever. My elder sister was having a health problem. 1223 We had no work to earn money. My parents were helpless. The situation was 1224 getting worst. A group of persons including some ladies came to the camp. 1225 They were offering jobs. But they were offering jobs only to 12–30 years old 1226 girls and women. The job was to work in hotel or houses in Delhi or Kolkata 1227 or Mumbai or any big city. Many parents sold their daughters and many 46

1228 persons sold their wives. Raju, a neighbour of us, came to my father and said 1229 with a sad heart: 1230 ‗I got 15,000 rupees for Maya. I have given her to that gentleman. He is very 1231 good. He will give her food, clothes and shelter. She will get a job in hotel‘. 1232 ‗Shame Raju! Shame Raju! You sold your own daughter for 15,000 rupees. 1233 How did you do that?‘ said my mother angrily. ‗What will she do with us? I 1234 cannot keep her here to die out of starvation. I don‘t have a home; I have 1235 nothing to feed my family. Everything is washed away by the flood. At least, 1236 she will get a good life; she will have meals and shelter there. I can start a new 1237 life somewhere with this money. Once these hard days are over, I will bring 1238 her back‘, replied Raju. ‗Why are you not going there for job?‘ asked my 1239 mother. ‗They are not taking male. The job is only for female, who needs to 1240 work as housemaid in rich people‘s houses or in hotels. My daughter will get 1241 salary, food and shelter. I think I have not done anything wrong in this 1242 situation‘, explained Raju. My younger brother was crying as he was having a 1243 high fever. He was hungry also. My mother was trying to soothe him. All 1244 remained silent for a while. ‗If you want money, give your daughters also. He 1245 still needs five more girls‘ said Raju. My parents remained silent. ‗Layara, 1246 you can help your family. Already Maya will be with you. You are not going 1247 alone. Many girls are going together. There is no need to be worried. You will 1248 get salary, food and shelter‘ told Raju. My parents remain silent. ‗What do 1249 you think, Bahadur? You will get 30,000 rupees for your two daughters. You 1250 can start a new life with that money. Your daughters will also get a good life. 1251 It is better to send them there for job than to keep here to die out of starvation. 1252 Ramu‘s wife is also going‘. He kept on pursuing my father. My parents 1253 remained silent and looked at each other. My elder sister got ready: ‗Yes, 1254 uncle we will go. You bring money. You are right that if we stay here, we all 1255 will die. But if we get this job, our family will be saved‘. ‗Come with me. 1256 Bahadur, you also come with me‘ said Raju. We went to that camp. Two 47

1257 ladies and two men in their nice attire, who seemed to be gentleman, were 1258 interacting with the parents. He told my father, ‗You will get 30,000 rupees 1259 now. Your daughters will get salary, free food and accommodation. Your 1260 daughters will send you money every month. They will get job in hotels and 1261 in rich people‘s houses as maids. They will be able to live a better life and 1262 your family also‘. ‗Can you give a job to me also‘ asked my father. ‗Not now 1263 … this time we need only female workers. Later, I will inform you when we 1264 will be in need of male workers‘. So my father agreed. Around 15 girls under 1265 18 years of age and 6 housewives under 30 years of age came together for the 1266 purpose of earning money by working as maids in rich people‘s houses and 1267 hotels. First, we came to Siliguri, a city in West Bengal, India. We stayed 1268 there in a house for 10 days. We were given nice food, clothes and beauty 1269 cosmetics. We were feeling happy. After that, we were sent in small groups of 1270 two or three girls to different cities. I came to Delhi with two other girls. Here, 1271 we are forced to sell our body. We are thrown in prostitution house. Here, we 1272 have no name and no identity. We were threatened that they will kill us if we 1273 refuse. We were bound to sell our body. We felt very bad when we understood 1274 that we are not going to get any salary as they have purchased us by paying to 1275 that crooked agents who brought us from our village by telling lie. I don‘t 1276 know where Maya and my sister are. They did a lot of physical torture. We 1277 cannot find any way to escape from them. Four months over! Selling my body 1278 and soul! Now I don‘t like to do this anymore. So I requested them to let me 1279 go home. But they gave me electric shock; sometimes, they will whip me with 1280 a belt if I refuse to sell my body. I was in hell. They used to drop us to 1281 different flats, houses or hotels at night for 4 hours or 3 hours or sometimes 1282 full night and pick us back to hell. There we are offering our body to the 1283 customers—sometimes to some loving gentleman, sometimes some rude 1284 middle-aged man and sometimes a group of heartless men. Yesterday, I was 1285 having severe pain in my lower abdomen and I told them that I cannot go 48

1286 tonight. But the customer had chosen me. I was forcibly sent to a room where 1287 three men were ready to enjoy me but I was not in condition to fulfil their 1288 desire. I requested them but they started laughing and taunting. I felt very bad. 1289 I had bitten one of them as I was not able to bear the pain, as they were very 1290 rude. They tied my hands and legs, put clothes inside my mouth and tortured 1291 extremely for 2 hours one by one. I was hired for 2 hours, and they 1292 complained to our agents that I misbehaved and did not satisfy them and that 1293 man showed the bitten mark on his hand and demanded money back. My 1294 agents became very angry at me. They started abusing me as the same 1295 complaints they are receiving for last 3–4 days. I was not feeling well at all. 1296 They told me that one more customer is there only for 1 hour and warned me 1297 to behave properly and to satisfy him. But I disagreed and started shouting at 1298 them. After that, they stopped the car and started beating me heartlessly, and 1299 the torture was unbearable. I lost consciousness. Tears rolled down from eyes. 1300 Sir, please save me. Please save me from those animals‖. 1301 The police took her statement and told her to calm down. They will protect 1302 her. I talked to the girl and told her how I brought her here. I felt very sad after 1303 listening to her story and felt sorry for her. It was already morning 8 o‘clock. I 1304 have to go for my interview. I told her that I will meet her after attending the 1305 interview. She thanked me a lot. My dress was not so good now. I went to a 1306 Sulabh Toilet and paid Rs. 5 to get refreshed. After washing my hands, legs 1307 and face with cold water, I felt relaxed. Already one of the labourers brought 1308 my bag with him to the hospital. I started moving towards that hotel where the 1309 interview was going on. 49

1310 Chapter VI 1311 I reached there on time. As usual, crowd was there. Many new candidates 1312 came to attend the interview. I asked the reception counter girl when my turn 1313 will come. She asked my number and I told my registration number. She 1314 checked the list and told me that it would take 2 more hours. I went outside to 1315 have some food. I purchased one newspaper to search job from classified 1316 advertisement. The newspaper front page had the headlines, ―Delhi Girl 1317 brutally raped by a gang in a moving bus last night‖. I was shocked. I heard 1318 her painful scream last night. It was the scream of this girl. If I were little 1319 active, I could have saved her. As I read the news, it gave a very brutal 1320 account of her rape and her condition is serious. 1321 I felt very shocked. I came to a small restaurant for some food. There also the 1322 news of her rape was highlighted in TV, as it was the main news in all media. 1323 People were expressing mixed reactions after watching the news. 1324 ―In late night, the girl was roaming alone with her boyfriend! It is natural that 1325 she will be a victim of such a brutal incident. How much police will protect if 1326 we are not cautious. Girls must stop roaming in late night‖, said one man. 1327 ―Brother, these girls are leading a life beyond the limit. Their parents are 1328 careless; they have no control. They are allowing their daughters to roam in 1329 midnight. This is obvious to happen‖, said another man. 1330 ―The size of dress of these girls is so small that they attracting and inviting 1331 rapists to rape them. They are roaming almost naked!‖ said an old man. 1332 ―Stop this nonsense! Don‘t blame girls like this. We must change our 1333 mentality. Search and hang these rapists in public like Saudi Arabia; see no 1334 one will dare to touch any girl against her will‖, said a young man. 1335 I finished eating as I was listening to all these comments made by different 1336 people sitting in the restaurant. I opened the pages of the newspaper and saw 1337 some direct walk-in-interview ads with contact no and address. I saw one ad 50