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["Try your call again later. The cold night breeze lingers on my skin Its fingertips brushing, freezing within The wind; it howls, it bites, it flees\u2014 Yet none compare to the cold your words left me I remember it like yesterday, we sat on the porch We drank, we chatted, in the summer air of March We looked at the sky, content and with comfort Yet I couldn\u2019t stop the words beckoning forth \u201cI don\u2019t feel like myself.\u201d \u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d \u201cI mean, I don\u2019t like how my body is seen\u201d \u201cWhat?\u201d \u201cIt\u2019s like its not mine, and I think I know why\u201d \u201cWhat?\u201d \u201cI\u2019m saying I feel like a girl, not a guy\u201d","\u201c...What?\u201d You sprang up immediately, the blur overwhelms You distance yourself, with eyes that condemn Your brows knitted, your lips pursed Under your breath you whisper a quiet curse \u201cYou know it\u2019s not right, right?\u201d \u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d \u201cI mean you\u2019re a guy! The only thing you\u2019ll go by\u201d \u201cWhat?\u201d \u201cYou don\u2019t act like a \u2018her\u2019, so how can you be a girl? \u201d \u201cWhat?\u201d \u201cIf you still want to be friends? Just stop this nonsense.\u201d \u201c...What?\u201d It burned. More than the alcohol, more than the sun More than a bite, or the shot of a gun This warmth that once held me, and called me a friend Now clutches my shirt and burns me to no end","After that it was cold. I woke up on the pavement, no more memories to be told I scrambled and ran, the panic setting in. I rushed. I called his phone, hoping, praying, for somethi\u2013 \u201cThis number cannot be reached. Please try your call again later.\u201d I tried again. \u201cThis number cannot be reached. Please try your call again later.\u201d I tried again. \u201cThis number cannot be reached. Please try your call again later.\u201d I tried again. \u201cThis number cannot be reached. Please try your call again later.\u201d I tried again. \u201cThis number cannot be reached. Please try your call again later.\u201d I lost him. The one I treasured most The man I hoped would accept me the most Today I stand, on the porch that marked the end I whisper to myself, Don\u2019t make me a stranger, old friend.","","Someday Soon I write to you in riddles, cyphers we had made between ourselves. These words embody a secret I have to keep hidden; this is the only way I know I can keep it safekept. Last we met, when we had basked in each other\u2019s presence\u2014when we had inched closer and closer, close enough for me to see you: for who you really are. I stayed beside you then. We did not touch. This letter contains the words I forced to stay suppressed within. Forgive the coward within me, I could not help but cower still, when faced with the uncer- tainty of reality. Being there, sitting beside you, I wanted to say, \u201cI feel like my best self when I\u2019m with you.\u201d I wanted to say, \u201cYou pluck out the words hiding within me, you reach through my guts and force me to spit them out.\u201d I wanted to say, \u201cI am prepared to capture you in ways you haven\u2019t allowed anyone to, and I\u2019d brave myself to fight a world that would not permit ame to.\u201d But I am not as courageous as I\u2019d like to think I am, my dear. I flinch with every person who comes in, I worry with every body who draws near. A secret must be kept a secret, and I do not have yet the bravery to declare the truth of the nature of these feelings I am forced to keep within myself. Doing so would expose the very truth of me, it meant breaking myself open and letting myself want. It meant facing condemnation for being who I am. It meant that if I were to make myself vulner- able and leave my truth to be exposed, I risk being hunted. Alas, I cannot allow myself to. Not yet. Still, I decide to bare myself to you. This private note, my hidden message\u2014I know you will know how to keep them safe as well. I cannot promise you anything, but. But I had to let you know. I had to let you know how my heart bleeds for you. And that despite all this fear, there is a part of me that wants and knows how to fight for a certain kind of hope. Maybe one day, someday, I will be able to find the courage to tell you all these myself. I will be brave enough to hold your hand, and to touch you in ways I selfishly want for myself.","","Chapter IV: Breaking the Taboo","","new normal \u201cWhat do you identify as?\u201d \u201cWhat are your pronouns?\u201d \u201cWhat\u2019s your sexuality? I\u2019m bi!\u201d \u201cDo I know you\u2026?\u201d a part of me wanted to say. It was rude, but I was startled at the personal questions that came from people I hardly considered acquaintances. Moreover, can anyone blame me for being on guard in a new country? The people in Singapore were much more reserved about sensitive topics like this. We were much more private to people we weren\u2019t friends with as compared to the outgoing people of the Philippines. Despite that fact, I did feel comforted by the likeness of the two countries. Words could not describe the nostalgia I felt after having small talk on how hot the weather was or how the air conditioner was too cold. However, I\u2019m not sure whether I would ever be able to get used to the assertive\u2014almost aggressive\u2014personalities of FIlipinos. *** \u201cHey! I really like your shoes!\u201d I looked down to see my shoes. It was the high cut white shoes with a rainbow stripe from Converse\u2019s pride collection. I\u2019ve never had someone compliment this pair in Singapore. Ever since I moved here, I have received a ton of compliments from people I have never even spoken to. I was taken over by a small wave of pride. I smiled, \u201cThanks, I like them a lot too!\u201d I looked back up to the owner of the voice. \u201cIf you\u2019re comfortable, can I ask what you identify as?\u201d she asked. I paused, a bit stunned at the sudden question from the classmate who\u2019s name I had forgotten. My right hand gripped my left arm\u2014it was sort of a defensive mechanism. I opened my mouth to answer but no words came out. My vision blurred and my eyebrows furrowed. My thoughts ran wild.","It wasn\u2019t that I was uncomfortable with answering such a question. Rather, I found it weird to ask someone I barely knew. Afterall, it was a question that only a few of my bolder friends would ask after getting to know each other quite well. It can be a sensitive topic to some and many of us could not be as open as we wanted to be. It wasn\u2019t strong, but I had a fear that my straight friends would feel uncomfortable if I told them my sexuality. Many of us could only comfortably tell others after finding out that the other person was LGBTQ+ too. Anxiety bubbled up in me as I recalled my past experiences: The quiet judgment from classmates I never even spoke to, the cautious looks from my own friends after I came out to them, the raised voices from my parents after I brought up the topic. I felt my heart speed up and my head blanked from panic. Will there ever be a time and place I feel safe to be myself? I snapped out of my thoughts when I saw the girl\u2019s curious face. She looks friendly and she was the one who asked, so I shouldn\u2019t be scared. It was just a simple question. I\u2019ll be fine\u2026right? I took a deep breath to calm my irrational fears. \u201cI\u2019m pansexual,\u201d I said hesitantly. What reaction was I supposed to expect? \u201cCool! I\u2019m les hehe\u201d she smiled brightly. I smiled back as my stress quelled. We walked back to class, excitedly sharing our experiences as some other classmates joined us. If everyone here is this friendly, I think I will be comfortable and safe expressing myself. Dear diary, today it was sunny. \u201cI\u2019ll name you Sarah! It\u2019s the name my mother gave me!\u201d I looked at the caterpillar, its gaze familiarly funny Today it was warm, today it was sunny. The butterfly came back, wings fluttering in excitement It sung, and danced, and spoke, and listened\u2014","\u201cIn the end there\u2019s no rush, no need to lament\u201d The caterpillar was hopeful, its eyes grew and glistened Dear diary, today it rained. Some boys in my school called me terrible names I forgot my umbrella, and slipped near a drain Today it was very cold, today it rained. A ladybug flew near, its feet on my window Its eyes were pitying, its whispering was low It told the caterpillar, \u201cAbhorrent, abnormal, you\u2019ll only die alone.\u201d It started to sob! Oh no, oh no, oh no! \t Dear diary, today it was windy. There were no words to be spoken, it was another boring day I just wish I understood why I was feeling this way Today, I write this in my room, its windows and walls untidy, Today it was warm, today it was windy. The butterfly came back. It said nothing new. It could only comfort the caterpillar, that turned blue \u201cThese day are like rain, sometimes many, sometimes few\u201d \u201cOne day you\u2019ll come to know, how far you\u2019ve come through\u201d Dear diary, today it hatched. As the days grew into months, and flew into years I stepped outside with a butterfly clip near my ears What once was a caterpillar, now it dons its new wings It flaps its goodbyes and heads into spring But its journey is far from over Its journey has just begun But what is a journey, But another day of sun","","Another Day of Sun Dear diary, today it rained. No sun rose today and no children played No sun woke me up, no sun to mark the day Today it was cold, today it rained. I opened the window, its panes were stained glass \u201cToday is a rainy day so expect a suspended class\u201d A caterpillar crawled inside, it looked just like me, It was thinking of something, it didn\u2019t look happy. Dear diary, today it was windy. The gusts blew my hair, it blew through my canopy The caterpillar stayed though, it still thought so thoroughly Today it was warm, today it was windy. A butterfly flew inside, curious of what was wrong The caterpillar moaned, its head was a throng \u201cOh, I don\u2019t understand! I don\u2019t understand at all!, I don\u2019t understand how I could not fall in love at all!\u201d","Dear diary, today it was sunny. \u201cI\u2019ll name you Sarah! It\u2019s the name my mother gave me!\u201d I looked at the caterpillar, its gaze familiarly funny Today it was warm, today it was sunny. The butterfly came back, wings fluttering in excitement It sung, and danced, and spoke, and listened\u2014 \u201cIn the end there\u2019s no rush, no need to lament\u201d The caterpillar was hopeful, its eyes grew and glistened Dear diary, today it rained. Some boys in my school called me terrible names I forgot my umbrella, and slipped near a drain Today it was very cold, today it rained. A ladybug flew near, its feet on my window Its eyes were pitying, its whispering was low It told the caterpillar, \u201cAbhorrent, abnormal, you\u2019ll only die alone.\u201d It started to sob! Oh no, oh no, oh no!","Dear diary, today it was windy. There were no words to be spoken, it was another boring day I just wish I understood why I was feeling this way Today, I write this in my room, its windows and walls untidy, Today it was warm, today it was windy. The butterfly came back. It said nothing new. It could only comfort the caterpillar, that turned blue \u201cThese day are like rain, sometimes many, sometimes few\u201d \u201cOne day you\u2019ll come to know, how far you\u2019ve come through\u201d Dear diary, today it hatched. As the days grew into months, and flew into years I stepped outside with a butterfly clip near my ears What once was a caterpillar, now it dons its new wings It flaps its goodbyes and heads into spring But its journey is far from over Its journey has just begun But what is a journey, But another day of sun","EPILOGUE The eucalyptus tree stands with all its integrity as it cradles these different worlds. In it, you encounter stories about the lost, the shunned, the fearful, and the abused\u2014it protects those who are in need of a refuge. You need not seek it, as it opens itself up before you during times of trouble, like a cautious guardian watching over you. As Dayang Ligaya and Mutyang Marikit tread this unfamiliar yet comforting space carefully, they are immersed in the diverse experiences, all connected through the roots and branches of this ever-enchanting tree. Ligaya turns to Marikit. Reflected in Marikit\u2019s eyes are the stars that once had given hope to their village, but now, they give Ligaya a feeling of serenity and hope, that they would soon be able to love each other as freely as they did before. Marikit raises her hand to gently caress her lover\u2019s cheek. No words were uttered between the two, but in their hearts, a promise had been made, echoing for eternity in all its grace. A promise of restoration, of reclamation, of revival and preservation. A promise filled with hope. We will whisper our prayers to the sun, love until our heart swells with starlight, and dance even as the rain pours. As they stood there, hand in lovable hand, in the midst of all these different stories, they could not help but feel that they were right where they were meant to be. That they, too, have a place reserved just for them here. That all that they have fought for will not come in vain. And that their love is the most powerful of all; it is one that would not be easily forgotten. Whenever you find yourself a victim of this vicious and pitiless world, take the time to remember the stories within the eucalyptus tree. Remember that we are forever bound by our very identities, interconnected in ways we can never truly fathom ourselves. Our stories will not be easily erased. Together, we will continue to fight for them to be told. The eucalyptus tree will stand with us, for you too are ingrained in its roots. You are not alone.","","","Index Illustrations \/ Photographs 1 Verbatim \/JFR 2 Sayang naman si --- \/LMB 3 In Your Phase \/SYR 4 Take Me To Church \/PJR 5 I Wasn\u2019t Made From Adam\u2019s Ribs \/CJL 6 Civil Union \/ADLR 7 Someday Soon \/JFR 8 Try Your Call Again Later \/ADLR 9 Desperate for Cupid\u2019s Arrow \/KJDM 10 New Normal \/CJL 11 Another Day of Sun \/MAA Literary Entries 1 Verbatim \/ANG 2 Sayang naman si --- \/ANG 3 In Your Phase \/JCB 4 Take Me To Church \/JCB 5 I Wasn\u2019t Made From Adam\u2019s Ribs \/JMCL 6 Civil Union \/CLM 7 Someday Soon \/JMCL 8 Try Your Call Again Later \/KJDM 9 Desperate for Cupid\u2019s Arrow \/MHP 10 New Normal \/MHP 11 Another Day of Sun \/KJDM","Editorial Board Editor-in-Cheif Louise Gabrielle Villapando Associate Editor Ranyshia Wiley Agpalasin Managing Editor Allysa Katrina Red Sigrid Jain Content Editor Justin Dayne Bryant Pe\u00f1a Head of Literary Kristine Joy Medrano Head Ilusstrator Carolyn Paule Ventura Head Layout Artist Trisha Juliene Yabut External Afair Director Writers Illustrator Christian Laurence Mendoza Clara Guinevere Tajeda Cravern Anthony Aricayos Johann Mri Christi Lirio Ariana Garcia Janna Felicia Roman Shara Yniga Recto Jazlynn Chloe Baldonadi Kim Jhazrel De Mesa Johanna Mari Christi Lirio Marie Angelou Atienza Kim Jhazrel De Mesa Hazina Perez Photojournalists Layout Luijille Mae Beley Zedric Emnuel Bitang Philip Jorge Ramirez Chaarles Joseph Luna Chantela Jessette Lapatha Divine Clarisse Yabut Aimee De Los Reyes Moderators Ms. Angel Samonte Ms. Gennelyn Fortus","","","",""]