the mermaid’s voice returns in this one ( PDFDrive )

this life

since

you

were the lesson

that made me realize

redemption

is not a thing

that washes up on shore. no—

not in this life, no. - not in any life, lovely.

the

only way

i can

foresee

surviving

you

is by

finding

that place

between

forgiving & forgetting,

if it even exists. - this is how i choose to douse my fire.

this is me

pressing

my finger to the sand,

delicately

drawing

your name there, & then

stepping back

so i can

watch

you as you’re

finally carried away. - goodbye.

i don’t write

what i write to hurt you. - i write what i write to heal me.

an update for the girl i used to be: we live in a tiny apartment near the sea now. it has a desk for us to write on. it has heat to warm us. it has food for us to eat. it has a friendly ghost. it has a caring spouse & a playful kitten who brightens all our days. we have everything we need & everything we never thought we could have. fighting your way here was well worth it. don’t give it all up yet.

the first night in our new place,

i spilled

a glass of water

on the kitchen floor.

the second night in our new place,

i spilled

a glass of water

on the living room rug. jokingly, i said to him, “i guess

our home

is

blessed

with good luck now.”

what i meant to say is, “i’m so sorry i can’t touch anything

without

immediately