LIFE BEYONG MEASURE

LIFE BEYOND MEASURE love of hope in pain By Blessing Riba

INTRODUCTION True meaning of life is like death towards us all, death is what gives us meaning to life cause we get to know that our days are numbered and we have little time as we think it is much which is why we must live every moment as if it’s our last, not that we know how life will end but keep telling our selves that life is the root of all happiness but not true. This book is about how life and the system work hand in hand but only to realize that life gives more than the corrupt system that we follow and praise. PAGE 2

We all know that as we black African culture we are God’s whom have been forsaken their roots and their real tribe line, this book is about making the people see and realize their roots and past tribe line they belong to. PAGE 3

CHAPTER ONE-SYSTEM OF LIFE when life hits, it hits differently it does not tell nor warn you, it shows you what creation was made for, people tend to tell themselves that they own their life but frankly speaking that is not the case Life is like a game, you do not know whether you will win or lose, but when you dedicate yourself to win you do not care what or who stands in your way of your own success Some people keep forgetting that as much as life can give, it can take as much as you cannot expect, I wish that people can see how beautiful and lucky they are to live in this wonderful world But only to find out that people see life as a waste, they commit themselves to crime, sins, and death than what the bible warns us about It is crazy and strange that when people have nothing they start to pray and believe that God exist and is alive but only to act as if he was never there when they now have everything in their lives I have discovered that in life we tell ourselves that marriage is the only goal of life towards happiness and forever peace, but it is not PAGE 4

In school we are taught to listen, to follow orders, to believe in what we see but not what we feel, they kill our youth, our freedom, our mindset of life All I can say is that we should not let our lives stick towards the edge which we have not learned about and we should start to teach ourselves respect of our own belief and our own destiny Why must we always render ourselves weak when we have a whole life ahead of us, some of us do not always see things as they are but tend to see them as they say them If the world were as good as a blind man can behave, the world would be a better place A blind man once said that “if we were all blind, there won’t be any need for the law because there wouldn’t be any crime going on, and our world would be a very peaceful world, a perfect world cause even if someone were to commit a crime, how would you point him/her out, you both blind, just two blind people, what a great world”. PAGE 5

In that message the blind man told, it was a wonderful one because it shows how blind the world is and how the light shines upon a blind man who cannot see anything only darkness, but their wisdom can see beyond a person with both eyes which are rendered pointless to them. Our country is so full of violence and tend to use that violence to good and portray it in the name of God, some people are just not grateful towards their gift of life, we keep saying that God will return, and he will take us to his paradise, which is not true. Only those who are blinded by the system would say the lord is coming back, cause honestly our God has forsaken us, one thing I learned in life is that you cannot rely on a fairytale to give you a future or determine your present. Life is only made for people to come and live in it and be a part of it as long they can live for it and make it worthwhile, most people do not understand that especially when it is mixed with the term of love and lust. I have seen people get hurt, cry, and end up killing themselves for no reason at all because of this thing called love, they use lust to make it love but end up getting hurt and broken and destroyed inside cause of false hope and fake love. PAGE 6

I just wish that people someday, somewhere they could just meet up and organize a campaign in the name of lust and love to explain it and clarify the difference and importance of love and lust. “love of hope in pain” is not just a name that I came up with so that I could show off about, it is something that many people can relate on and be part of it and console on it because they also have been there, love, hope, pain but only to be disappointed. Not so many people are brave to come out or talk about their life and their situation, but I understand “why”, and I will not even judge them because I feel their pain, feeling sympathy for people is all about listening and knowing what to say and understand the people who are mentally and emotionally broken. PAGE 7

I am not saying you can fix their hearts completely, but you can manage to put together their broken pieces and patch them back together even if get your hands cut as long you know that you helped someone in need and that is an actual kick that you need in life. I’m not doing it for money or to be famous, I’m just doing it because I know out there, there are people who want to talk to someone and “hey” I am willing to be that stranger on the other side to give you advise in a good way on any relationships regarding your: family, friends, partnership and I also write poems which you can read to easy your mind and soul. I normally see people talk about how they want to see their future like or how they want to be remembered as, a wise man once said “Enjoy the journey, not the destination” but people tend to want to reach their destination without even beginning their journey yet. They talk about how they want to have big companies, big families, big houses but I do not hear them talk about how they will start their big future, they do not even have a startup plan nor even a steady job. People dream so high to fall so blind; they forget that life and the world is like a brick and a shuffle, you build your way up while digging your way down, it is more like you PAGE 8

have a ladder trying to climb through a waterfall, it is hard yet worthwhile cause you are building your strength towards your limit, you fight your way to your own success. People tend to give up so easily before they even begun and then ask yourself “what was the point of you dreaming so big while you know you aren’t strong enough to hold that bridge. My only advise is that try to build your measure of life, do not dream beyond that but stick to your strong points and try to be what you are meant to be not what you expect to see because you will fall as if you never went high. PAGE 9

There is one thing I have realized for the past few days, is that life comes and goes, it is like wind and air that blows both south and west. It is like death and fire, as much a paper can burn quickly as death can come unexpected to our lives. I have seen families lose their loved ones because of how life can be and how life would do, frankly speaking life is really beyond measure and we cannot predict what will happen or if we could wake up tomorrow or not. Have you ever asked yourself where do we go when we die? Do we go to heaven or hell? Or our souls remain here on earth till judgement day, it is a question of life and death and what is beyond that, honestly speaking I do not know either. All I know is that what we tell ourselves about life is just another opinion of another writer who witnessed life as it was than it is, believe me I know because I am also a writer who speaks of life differently but similar. As much as I am a writer I also specialize with poems and there is these one of two poems I love most which goes like this: Stranger on the other side Strangers come and go but I am here to stay, PAGE 10

you know why, because I am your only stranger No matter how hard we try we will always come short to the ones who are strange to us In life we are not built to please each other but we try to appease one another Why must we suffer for other people’s ego, stranger be happy with your time We lost so much we cannot lose you too do not let earth eat you, stranger be free with your freedom When I wrote that poem all I could think of is that ‘do we really see ourselves as much as our parents look at us’, we really think of ourselves as high and mighty towards those who are so little to us, we bully them, call them names, tease them to show off with them. PAGE 11

Sometimes we just behave like vultures that have no backbone, frankly, speaking we as humans have no shame towards humanity, we all strangers to each other and we also nobody to one another, we tend to try force friendships & relationships but all in all they are all fake, nowadays we have people who will pretend to be our friends in order to just use us to gain what they want and they would just leave as if we never met. At some point we just must accept that in life we all going to die alone as much as we were born alone, even twins do not give birth at once but the is always the elder one with seconds or days but main point we all alone in this world. You cannot rely on a person nor your own friends because friends are the ones who betray us more than a stranger would and it is said that family is the only holy place you need to go to, that statement did make sense cause whenever life hits you, it hits you in a different way and whenever it does hit the only place you think of is home. ‘Family’ that word stands for many things in this world like when a man has a wife, but no children means that man does not have a family, according to us as humans believe that if a man does not have children that man is not complete and does not have a legacy. They always say ‘blood is thicker than water’ why would they say that? Simple, because the system that we call church PAGE 12

(Bible) has taken over our lives and they would rather believe in words that have been written by someone to create order and stability by making people believe that we are servants of the holy God whom we must bow down to and follow his commandments towards our salvation, why? It means that if someone can also write a book and conclude it as a bible so that when people read the book, they would believe they are reading the words of God meaning that they can write about order and stability but also add corruption and disorder to say “we are mortals who believe in the lord that would bring us glory if we stop following the order of fake Gods and upper level supreme courts that doesn’t care about us”, do you think people would still consider the law and government as the same?, well I’ll leave to you to figure it out. My point is that people can be easily blind sited by the words of a regular book because the government supports it, school and church are the system that destroys our youth PAGE 13

and our life and belief and they even trap us in one circle, ball so that no one can try to leave that circle. Well, we all bonded by the system and we cannot do anything about it because we are meant to follow it to survive and have a better life and successful one because it is what we have been taught by the system, hopefully out there someone would write a book about the system and their agenda with us. They say writing a book takes time and a lot of thinking but well that is not the case yet because yes it does take time but only requires your vision of what you experience every day and your visualization towards life cause what you see with your eyes connects to your mind and automatically generates in your brain to give you ideas of life than what you were taught to believe. Peace in this world would never occur and all we must do is just accept this life would never be the same as it was in those ancient times, where peace was only obtained through diplomacy and elders would correct the young to do right not by the system but by their tradition. This system is just the curse of us and would be the end of us because everything we or they do results to corruption and casualties and they fight each other and destroy each other while that process we the ones who get hurt and killed then they do control damage on us with their money PAGE 14

and power to try blind site us of what corruption they commit and crimes they involved in. Whatever that is happening in this life is just a disappointment upon the Gods eyes and I am not saying that I am a believer but even HE would be embarrassed that his creation of love became the devils’ deeds PAGE 15

CHAPTER TWO – CONJURING LOVE • What is ‘Love’?, this is the kind of question that people should ask themselves when they want to be in a relationship cause it is very much simple and easy to understand but hard to clarify for someone else, consider this as a practice test for your exam cause it is much better to look at it that way, it is easy to practice but hard to actually do it. • Well as humans we know we all have different kind of meaning and understanding of love, but I want to also raise a point of my side of love and how it actually works and what ‘Love’ actually is, hopefully you will understand it and try to look at it as your own general opinion. PAGE 16

• Firstly I’d like to show you the 1st two screenshots of a different person with their own perspective of ‘Love’ PAGE 17

• Those are their opinion of love and how they see and how expect others to feel it, but they forget one thing which is Love is not just an opinion you create with your mind and end up agreeing on it no, it is the time and patience of the connection you experienced on your first love, cause your first love is what determines your future love life. • It is a complex situation whereby your mind tells you that you in love which is not true, cause you just only convinced yourself only to prove yourself or someone wrong or just because you desperate to fall in love. PAGE 18

• When I wrote that all I was thinking about is how I was hurt and how I was fooled to think that I myself one day can fall in love but only to find out that being hurt only opened my eyes towards a possibility of finding my core of love instead of hunting it or trying to figure it out. • Love is like blood and it was born inside of us inside our veins our body cells, it is not rocket science but just PAGE 19

pure simple English, when we are born we are born with an accumulated 100% of love and that love comes from our mothers but only half of it we own and the other half stays intact with our mothers. • Cause as we know that mothers are the ones who understand us way more than any parent would because they share that 100% of love we were born with and that makes them our goddess, and the other half that we own gets divided into a quarter percent of that 50% we hold. • Which concludes to 12.5% of each different particle of love • 12.5% - Lust • 12.5% - Obsession • 12.5% - Addiction • 12.5% - unconditional • Those four particle of love are known as the demons of Satan ( devil himself) because that’s where pain, hurt, hate, death, despair occur creating conflict into chaos. PAGE 20

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This brings me back to my actually topic of chapter two – conjuring love most terrifying love I’ve ever seen, most of you all know what conjuring means and some of you know that name comes from a horror movie of Ed and Lauran but that’s not the case, meaning of ‘CONJURING LOVE’ CONJURING – it is a practice of demonic arts by hand Love – set of emotions and behaviors characterized by intimacy, passion and commitment. But love can be vary in intensity and can change over time which results to conjuring love It is the love whereby one gets destroyed of sacrificing so much of themselves to make the other one happy without notice which leads to depression, loss of weight regarding stress of being overwhelmed of love for one person but end up being tarnished by it. Example: We all passed through that, the disappointments, hurt, pain, and loss of hope in not knowing whether you deserve love or not, it is hurtful but it is life and which is beyond us, beyond our measure. Love itself does not hurt. It is growth that hurts, the ego that stings. Each transformation is painful because the old situation is being left behind for the new. When a relationship ends we feel hurt, we feel lost and lonely, PAGE 22

wondering what comes next. Which brings us to our four particles of love: OBSESSION Well we know obsession means a lot of things comparing to what you are obsessed about. This obsession is of love whereby one human becomes obsessed with the other, it is cunning how one can easily fall in love but not notice it is not love. People tend to blind themselves so that they can convince their own feelings that they are in love, but only to realize that their mind is the one creating that confusion. Then a person tends to become extremely involved with their all in a relationship to prove that they have love for the other, this is called obsession. There are two sides of obsession towards love, good side and bad side. We shall start with the bad side which is called OLD (Obsessive Love Disorder) which refers to a condition whereby you become obsessed with one person you think you may be in love with. You might feel the need to protect your loved one obsessively, or even become controlling of them as if they were a possession. In the uncommon instances that obsessive love involves violence, men and women seem to be perpetrators of such violence at equal rates. Risk factors for developing obsessive love include having insecurities, lack of full-time PAGE 23

employment as well as having family members who have psychiatric problems, particularly a delusional disorder. At the start of a relationship, it is easy to confuse being in love with obsession. There is a thin line between obsession and devotion, and most relationships tend to begin with feelings of heightened anxiety and insecurities, so this confusion becomes entirely normal. And what makes a person with OLD dangerous is the inability or failure to accept rejection, symptoms include an inability to tolerate any time spent without that person, obsessive fantasies surrounding the person, and spending inordinate amounts of time seeking out, making, or looking at images of that person. Although obsessive love is not contained in the DSM-5 as a specific mental disorder, it can often accompany other mental illnesses. Depending on the intensity of their attraction, obsessive lovers may feel entirely unable to restrain themselves from extreme behaviors such as acts of violence toward themselves or others. Symptoms of OLD may include: • An overwhelming attraction to one person • Obsessive thoughts about the person • Feeling the need to “protect” the person you are in love with • Possessive thoughts and actions • Extreme jealousy over other interpersonal interactions PAGE 24

People who have OLD may also not take rejection easily. In some cases, the symptoms could worsen at the end of a relationship or if the other person rejects you. There are other signs of this disorder, such as: • Repeated texts, emails, and phone calls to the person they are interested in • A constant need for reassurance • Difficulty having friends or maintaining contact with family members because of the obsession over one person • Monitoring the actions of the other person All I can say is that when it comes to someone with OLD can never be healed or changed but can be helped, my suggestion is that if you have OLD you better date someone of your own same caliber. Psychological classification exists for OLD. It can often accompany other types of mental health illnesses, if you think you or your loved one may have the disorder I suggest you talk to a doctor to help with treatment to decrease the symptoms while also preventing complications with relationship LUST LUST is considered by Catholicism to be a disordered desire for sexual pleasure, where sexual pleasure is “sought for itself, isolated from it’s procreative and unitive PAGE 25

purpose”. In Catholicism, sexual desire in itself is good, and is considered part of God’s plan for humanity. It is also known as a strong craving for sex. It also mean a hunger for anything, like lust for power. While lust isn’t a dirty word, it is a strong word. You don’t have lust for something you don’t really care about. We all know we as humans have a desire for sex which by we conclude it to love, it is more like people are using the name of love to satisfy their needs and sexual drive. And if you want to know if a guy is lusting over you, he will ask you to go out on a dinner just to impress you or go to the movies just to show off. A guy who is just lusting after you won’t bother to do things like just chill with you, talk to you about your future, tell you his problems and secrets and share his privacy with you, he won’t bother. Lust is about a physical or sexual attraction whereas love might encompass lust, but it is more emotional and is about caring for the person. PAGE 26