From the Land of Frustration

From the Valley of Frustration, Over the hills of Ingenuity, To the Peak of Innovation By Charles Arnold, Technical Writer HR Mergers & Acquisitions (With apologies to Dr. Seuss)

Once upon a time, down in a Jabil Department,The overworked cube dwellers struggled under the load,Of global projects with fanciful names likeSnowball and Jupiter and River and Road.

Some went smoothly, without a hitch.Others went directly into a ditch.

They doggedly worked until they were numb,To complete the missions they call Mergers and Acquisitions.They went round the world to bring fine companies home,

And they worked until they all had carpel tunnel syndrome.But difficulties they encountered wherever they roamed.And, try as they might, they sometimes could not makeheadway.In the mornings they moaned, “So many meetings today.”At the meetings they groaned, “What kind of problems arecoming our way?”

And in the evening they put down their telephones, and said,“There must be a better way.”(When you’re at the end of your rope, that’s where you’ll findinnovation.Of course, it doesn’t hurt to have 50 years of inspiration andingenuity parked in your station.)

All they needed was spark of inspiration. But where could itbe?

They looked far and wide; cast their nets across the ocean.But try as they might, they hadn’t a glimmer or a notion.They searched both very high and quite low.They search under desks, behind white boards and fridges.

‘Till finally it hit them, “Project Management can save us!”Hooray!

So, they opened their PMDOKs, and started scheduling tasks,(But they’ll call them activities, if you have to ask.)They had too many tasks, so to make sense of it all,

They threw in some milestones, and a baseline, too.From Total Rewards to Payroll, HRIS, and Compliance,From the looks of it now, it seemed like a science.

To put it in order, they arranged it neatly, in phases.They knew it wasn’t just one of those MBA crazes.They had Gantt charts, flow charts, and a life cycle, too.

Those mergers and acquisitions would be frustrating no more.Now when their department gets a big project,They know exactly what to expect.

They’ll pull out their templates, and crank up their Gantts,They’ll carefully plan their moves and know when to advance.They’ll deliver on time and are never frustrated.

You can see they’re elated by the schedules they created.So, when you give them a project, don’t stand in their way,For now they are a very productive HR M and A.