CHS Soccer Parent

MINDFULNESS JOY PARENTAL SUPPORT THE KEY TO PEAK DEDICATION GRATITUDE PERFORMANCE District Champions: 2011 United Soccer Coaches National Team Academic Award: 2018,2020,2021

The role that the parent plays in the life of their soccer player has a tremendous impact on his experience. With this in mind, the Tarpon boy’s soccer program has taken some time to provide some helpful reminders to remember throughout the season. MINDFULNESS JOY DEDICATION GRATITUDE

HONORING THE GAME - “It’s what we do here” The CHS Boys Soccer program will honor the game by respecting ROOTS. R - rules We will play within the rules of the game O - Opponents We will fear no opponent, we will always compete. The greater the opponent, the greater challenge we have to show our growth. We will respect every opponent, if we play an inferior opponent we will show respect through competition never humiliating our opponent. O - Officials We will respect the officials. We will not argue with calls that do not go our way. We will show gratitude to the officials, without them we could not play. T - Teammates We will respect our teammates and communicate with them in a positive manner. We will be supportive and encouraging. We will not tolerate bullying. S - Selves We will take care of ourselves. We will make positive off-field choices and we continue to improve our game as individuals. We will practice positive self-talk and always strive for excellence. *Taken from Positive Coaching Alliance As the season begins….. Before the season begins, ask yourself the following questions: a.) Why do I want my son to play soccer? b.) What will a successful season be for me as a parent? c.) What are my goals for my son? d.) What do I hope to gain from the experience? e.) What do I think their role on the team will be? After you have answered those questions for yourself, remember your answers. Then when you have some quiet, uninterrupted time with your son, ask them the following questions: a.) Why are you playing? b.) What would be a successful season for you? c.) What are your expectations for the season? d.) What do you think your role will be on the team? Once you hear their responses, compare them to your own. If both responses are the same, great! If not, if your responses are different, throw them away and accept your sons. MINDFULNESS JOY DEDICATION GRATITUDE

Remember who this player is: This player we are talking about is your child. This young man/woman is the same person you protected since you first learned you would be having a child. You signed them up for youth sport programs to learn new skills and interact with other young developing individuals. You were proud of small achievements, saw them develop friendships, and create life-long memories. As the competition increases, as parents we observe them set goals, challenge themselves to be better, and to be good teammates. Whether they are the superstar, or the player on the bench, they will always be your child. Their performance should never put in question your love for them, or your support for them. Many parents are not experts in the sport their child chooses, so you do not need to critique their performance after the game, you just need to tell them you loved watching them with their team. Regardless of the minutes they play, their role on the team, they will always be your son or your daughter.

Rule #1: Release your child to the game and to the coach - ME. By releasing your child to the game and to the coach, you are telling them that all of their successes are theirs, all the setbacks are theirs, and any issues are theirs. Rule #2: Be your child’s #1 fan - before, during, and after the game. Support your son unconditionally, making mistakes are part of learning. Recognize what your son is trying to do, not the results. Pick 2 or 3 positive things your son did during the game. After the game, comment on those positives. Your son may not want to talk about the game, respect that, give them some space. When they want to talk about it, they will initiate the conversation. Rule #3: Support and cheer for all the players on the team. We will be a TEAM, working together to become the best TEAM we can be. Teammates are not the enemy, sometimes players will play ahead of your son, whether a starter or not, whether they get in the game or not, we are a TEAM. Refrain from making negative comments about another player or coach in front of your son. Rule #4: Encourage your son to talk to the coach. (Chain of Command) If your son is ever experiencing any difficulty regarding the team, encourage him to speak to the coach. Responsibility is a big part of becoming a responsible player and adult. By handling these concerns your son is claiming ownership of all aspects of his game preparation. Rule #5: Monitor their eating and sleeping habits. Help them make positive food choices and strive for 8 hours of sleep a night.

Rule #6: Help your son keep his priorities straight. Time management is huge for young athletes. Help them maintain a focus on schoolwork, relationships, and other things in their life besides soccer. Rule #7: Keep soccer in perspective. If your son’s performance produces strong emotions in YOU - please suppress them. Remember your relationship will continue with your child long after his competitive soccer days are over. Keep your goals and needs separate from your son’s experience. Rule #8: HAVE FUN! This is what we, the TEAM, will be trying to do. I will challenge your son to reach past his comfort level and improve as a player and as a person. I will attempt to do this in an environment that is fun, yet challenging. I am looking forward to the process. Rule #9: You can only be one of four things at a soccer game. A. a player B. a coach C. an official D. a spectator The only thing not already taken care of is D. Players will be placed in positions that give the team the best chance to succeed. I will find their strengths and put them in positions to succeed. Remember the players need one instructional voice, “The Voice of the Coach”. Rule #10: Display appropriate game behavior. Your son is a person first, try to avoid treating them differently after games based on the result or their individual performance.

RED FLAGS: If you are experiencing these, you may want to reflect a little. ● Trying to resolve your son’s problems ● Taking credit for their performance ● Trying to coach them after the game ● Yelling at officials ● If the outcome of the game is more important to you than your son. Parental Involvement - The high school athletic experience will only be available for four years. This is a family commitment and a time to cherish. There are many ways for parents to get involved and support their student/athlete. The Tarpon Boy’s Soccer Program will welcome and encourage parental involvement. Opportunities for team pasta events, team supervision, fundraising, team photographer or videographer, will be welcome. It should be clear that while parental involvement is encouraged, it will have no effect on playing time or team placement. The best players, the player’s that follow the team guidelines, the player’s that put the team first will be placed on the team. If there is something you wish to do to contribute to the program, contact the head coach.

Sportsmanship - No Yellow cards! Yellow cards for swearing, dissent, or unsporting behavior will not be tolerated. Consequences will be handled with playing time restrictions and possibly monetary as well. United Soccer Coaches presents an ethics award. It is given to teams with less than 10 yellow cards. That is my goal and a goal for our team. Social Media - Social Media magnifies the damage of a lapse in judgement. Remember you are representing your family, your community, and your team when you post, it doesn’t always just reflect on you. There can be “real” negative consequences to post that may be racial, political, or controversial. Being “young and dumb” is often no longer an excuse. Scholarship opportunities can be lost by a post from your past. ● Do not talk about opponents ● Do not talk about referees or bad calls ● Do not negatively talk about teammates, classmates, coaches, or school officials. ● Do promote your team events ● Do praise the efforts of others ● Do promote awards and accomplishments (often better when others post ●about personal achievements) Watch out for your teammates, stop them if you see they are posting something that may haunt them later. Academics - In my 34th season, my teams have earned the United Soccer Coaches “National Team Academic Award” 24 times. That is a team 3.25 cumulative G.P.A. for the entire year for the varsity roster. Substance Use - It is my belief that students/athletes need reasons to avoid the temptations of alcohol and drug use in high school. We would hope that being part of a team and striving to be our best would be enough, that is not always the case. Drugs and alcohol are illegal, yet that is often disregarded by youth. The answer - education about the effects and performance. Consequences: Playing time and if a problem, removal from the team.

Alcohol *increases time of recovery for up to 96 hours *A diuretic - prevents vitamins from being utilized by the body *Natural Human Growth Hormone, highest release time is during sleep, is reduced by up to 70%. *Alcohol causes an increase in Cortisol, Cortisol negates the training effect *Decreases protein synthesis - needed for muscle repair *Reduces immune system - user will be sicker & more often *In a high school athlete, alcohol reduces performance 20-30% *Interrupts REM sleep, needed for recovery *Impairs reaction time for up to 12 hours after consumption *Decreases vertical jump, start-up speed, lateral speed, and acceleration *Reduces explosive power, speed endurance, power endurance An alcohol episode (5 drinks or more) will cause a projected loss of 14 days of training effect. Your opponent, who doesn’t use, will continue to improve as you stay stagnant or decline. Vaping - This is a huge concern in our schools today. Students do not believe the harm this is causing to their bodies. Many parents have no idea that their child is using. No smell associated with smoking. Have that conversation and be aware. Raise the BAR! Be better everyday! Feel free to contact me at any time by email or text. The only thing that will not be up for discussion is playing time. Coach Winkler’s Philosophy “Make a Difference” On the field, in the classroom, at home, in the community Thank you for supporting the Tarpon Boy’s Soccer Program. Facebook CHS Boys Soccer Twitter @Tarponsoccer Greg Winkler [email protected] Miguel Dotres [email protected]

Charlotte Boys Soccer Tarpon Standards JOY Soccer is a GAME! We play games to test ourselves against others, but most importantly we play games because we have fun. If we have fun - We have JOY! We must remember to play without the fear of mistakes, for that is how we learn and improve. We will do everything with a Joyful heart. Mindfulness To be mindful is to be Present. We will be mindful of our role on the team, within the athletic department, and in the classroom. We will be aware of our role with the ball and without. We will pay attention to our coaches and our teammates. We will be of one mind when we take to the pitch. Dedication Another word would be self-sacrifice. We must commit to our teammates. We must strive for things bigger than ourselves. We need to work when no one is watching. We need to make the correct choices outside of the soccer environment. We must always think about the team and how our decisions may affect our peers and our goals. Gratitude Approach everything we do with an attitude of gratitude. Be thankful for the opportunity to play this beautiful game. Thank our parents, coaches, teachers, referees, and everyone who helps make this opportunity possible for us.

Parent-Guardian Letter As a coaching staff, we are committed to the principles of Positive Coaching Alliance (PCA). We aim to be Double Goal Coaches, who strive to win, while also pursuing the more-important goal of teaching life lessons through sports. I hope you will help us by reinforcing three principles: 1. The ELM Tree of Mastery 2. Filling Emotional Tanks 3. Honoring the Game. Here are some details on these principles. The ELM Tree of Mastery While winning is important and learning to compete is one of the major life lessons available through sports, not everyone can win every game. Still, our players are winners, regardless of what the scoreboard says, when they pursue mastery of their sports. As a way to remember key elements of mastery, PCA uses the acronym ELM for Effort, Learning and Mistakes are OK. Athletes who are coached toward mastery tend to have reduced anxiety and increased self-confidence, because they focus on things they can control. They are more likely to have fun and perform better. Here is how you can help your child. ● Tell them it is OK to make a mistake ● Tell them you appreciate their best effort even if they fall short of the desired ●result. Recognize that Mastery is hard work and an ongoing process over time that can fuel great conversations with your children about sports and life. Filling Emotional Tanks An “Emotional Tank” is like a gas tank in a car. When it’s empty, we go nowhere, but when it’s full, we can go most anywhere. The best fuel for an Emotional Tank is an average of five specific, truthful praises for each specific, constructive criticism. ●Here is how you can help: Encourage your children with specific tank-fillers regardless of the scoreboard ●results. Be honest, but remember the value of that 5:1 ratio. Avoid an immediate and critical debrief right after the game. Honoring the GAME To help remember the ideals of sportsmanship, which PCA calls, “Honoring the Game,” we talk about respecting ROOTS, and acronym for Rules, Officials, Opponents, Teammates and Self

THE PARENT PLEDGE Tarpon Boys Soccer is committed to the principles of Positive Coaching Alliance (PCA). Therefore we ask that you read, sign and return this form to Coach Winkler or Coach Dotres. In keeping with PCA’s ideal fo the Double-Goal Coach - who has a goal of winning and an even more important goal of teaching life lessons through sports - I will be a Second-Goal Parent, focused on the goal of using sports to teach life lessons, while leaving the goal of winning to players and coaches. _____ _____ initial I will reinforce the “ELM Tree of Mastery” with my child (E for Effort, L for Learning, M for bouncing back from Mistakes). Because I understand that a mastery approach will help my child succeed in sports and life, I will: ● Encourage my child to exert maximum Effort ● Help my child Learn through sports ● Urge my child to get past Mistakes by using a Mistake Ritual. _____ _____ initial I will use positive encouragement to fill the Emotional Tanks of my children, their teammates, and coaches. _____ _____ initial I will set an example for my child by Honoring the Game, respecting ROOTS (Rules, Officials, Opponents, Teammates, and self). If I disagree with an official's call, I will Honor the Game and be silent. _____ _____ initial I will use a Self-Control Routine to avoid losing my composure if I grow frustrated. I will take a deep breath, turn away to refocus. I will use self-talk (“I need to be a role model. I can rise above this.”) _____ _____ initial I will refrain from negative comments about my child’s coach in my child’s presence so that I do not negatively influence my child’s motivation and overall experience. ____ _____ initial I will engage in No-Directions Cheering, limiting my comments during the game to encouraging my child and players from both teams. _____ _____ initial ________________________________ ________________________________ Print Athletes Name Parent’s Signature

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