IUPH Anniversary Magazine

My characters reach through the page, grab me by the face, smoosh my lips together, and whisper, \"It's a good thing you're cute. Now here's what really happened.\" More disconcertingly, I've had characters reach through the page, stop my hand, and say, \"I've got an idea for a book. Here: take this down.\" Me- \"But you're already IN a book.\" Character- \"Yeah, I know. But this is a good idea.\" Me- \"But... THIS book-\" Character- \"-isn't going anywhere. I said type, word-monkey.\" Me- *sighing* \"Well, okay, but remember we need to get you YOUR story after.\" Character- \"Yeah, yeah. So, there I was, ordering a quad-shot latte with extra foam and cinnamon sprinkles when the first shot rang out. The barista ducked under the bar as if on instinct as the glass partition shattered. I thought I was the target at first, but then Morlyssa (it was spelled that way on her tag, with a heart after it) popped back up with a shotgun and a snarl on her genial features. \"Not today, demon,\" she growled, as she racked the slide. \"Not on MY watch.\" Me- \"Holy shit. Okay, I'm in.\" Character- \"Right??!?\" ~ Author conversations with ourselves

Table of Contents Introduction by Lisa Orban A Match Made on Twitter Article by Jeff DeMarco From Self-Pub to Indie Author Article by Ralph Rotten Evolution Article by Jennie Rosenblum Dead on Time Short Story by Guy Thair Writing isn’t for the faint of heart Article by S.R. Ruark A Girl Alone Short Story by Scott Meehan Evolution of an Idea Article by Joe Giambrone Pollination Short Story by Aaron Gallagher My Journey as a New Writer Article by Carol Ann Townend A Necromancer and the Cheshire Cat Short Story by S.R. Ruark Immortality and Eternity Article by Ketan Desai Things They Never Warned Me About Short Story by Lisa Orban Prescribed Visitation: A Girlfriend’s Song Short Story by the And I Thought Ladies Year One Article by Danielle Johnston











Opperman, instantly furious, turned to Kevin politely. glare at the waiter, “Are you taking the piss “No, I don’t want any of that cheap shit, boy?” the good stuff boy, that’s what I’m after.” He “Not at all sir, just checking,” he smirked, watched the waiter depart and then turned I’ll be right back.” back to Bailey, “Did you see that little bastard was talking back to me again?” “Bloody cheeky little sod, no respect these days,” he gave Bailey an expectant look, “I’m sure he didn’t mean anything by it “don’t you think?” Dennis, he’s probably had a long day, we all have. I expect it’s the heat. A young lad like “Oh I don’t know, most young people that, run off his feet all day in this weather, seem quite polite, I’ve certainly found they he’s probably exhausted.” respond well to good manners anyway.” “Crap!” he slapped his hand on the table, The sarcasm seemed to pass Opperman by making the cups jump in their saucers, “They completely. need to toughen up a bit, these kids nowadays. I’ve been at my desk since eight “You got kids then?” he asked Bailey, this morning, ten o’clock I had to take a load clearly uninterested in the answer and of clients for drinks, then to lunch, I had to absently patting his pockets as if looking for stop for a pint with a couple of blokes from something. head office after work and now,” he paused, took one final, ferocious drag on the cigarette, “I haven’t, no,” Bailey replied, “not before crushing it out in the ashtray, “ now anymore.” He watched the other man I’ve got to drive halfway across town in this searching his pockets once more before fucking traffic…” he trailed off and looked up, inquiring, “Have you lost something?” as Kevin returned and placed a large brandy glass on the table in front of him. “Can’t find my damn cigarettes, sure I had them with me earlier.” He began the search Opperman raised a hand to indicate he for the third time. should wait, drained the glass and slammed it back down on the table. “Here, have one of mine,” said Bailey, passing an open packet across the table, “I’m “So I’ll be wanting another one of those…” trying to cut down anyway.” he focused his unsteady gaze on the waiter's badge, “…Kevin. Go on boy, chop-chop, hop “Yeah? Forty-a-day man myself and never to it!” even had a cold,” he reached out and snatched the proffered cigarette, “a load of “Are you sure you should be driving bollocks they talk about it giving you cancer, Dennis?” asked Bailey, still smiling but all part of the government’s programme of sounding concerned, “You don’t look so good brainwashing, you mark my words.” He you know.” flicked a cheap lighter and drew heavily on the cigarette, blowing the smoke carelessly “Rubbish, I can take my booze better than across the table as the waiter returned and anyone I know!” becoming aggressive now, he unceremoniously dumped a tray in front of snatched the glass from the tray as Kevin was Opperman. cautiously approaching the table, seemingly not noticing the brandy that slopped on his “Your coffee and ashtray, sir,” he said, sleeve and down his shirt as he threw back “will there be anything else?” the remainder in one gulp, “Right lot of bloody nancy boys these days, I could drink “No. And don’t expect a tip either,” the whole fucking lot of ’em under the table!” Opperman snapped, as the waiter turned to leave, raising his eyebrows at Bailey, who Opperman grabbed another cigarette, smiled and shook his head in silent blearily glancing at Bailey as he did so, “You agreement with the young man, whose name don’t mind, right? Trying to cut down, you badge read “Kevin”, and his obvious opinion said.” of the obnoxious customer, “In fact wait, I’ve changed my mind. Bring me a double brandy “No, not at all Dennis, feel free,” said will you.” “Is that the house brandy sir?” asked

Bailey cheerfully, “one or two more or less thought you should know that before you won’t make any difference now anyway.” died.” Denis Opperman scrabbled amongst the Opperman’s eyes bulged desperately, but detritus of his pockets, spread out on the he seemed unable to get his voice to work cluttered table, until he located his lighter, anymore, his mouth opened and closed like a managing to light the cigarette on the fourth dying goldfish. attempt and collapsed heavily back into his chair, sweating profusely, with an expression “Allow me to fill in a few details for you of puzzlement. Dennis,” said Bailey, “just so you don’t miss “Legs feel a bit strange, think I’d better sit for anything important,” he glanced at his watch a while,” he wheezed, “don’t know what’s again, “although I’d better hurry, we don’t come over me. Must be the heat, like you have long, or should I say, you don’t.” his said.” smile of satisfaction at Opperman’s increasing discomfort was no more than a “Oh, I’m pretty sure it’s not just the heat. grimace now, as he turned his blazing eyes on Not just the booze either I’m afraid, although the terrified man and continued in a voice I’m sure you’ve drunk enough to make most devoid of emotion. people keel over, so congratulations on that. No, I’m afraid your problem is somewhat “You were driving back from a meeting more… terminal than that.” with some high-class clients at the time Dennis. Had a few bottles of bubbly to He let Opperman, who was now giving celebrate closing the deal.” Bailey his undivided attention, absorb his words before he continued, “Because you see Opperman’s eyes rolled wildly, his body Denis, I know who you are, even if I mean otherwise frozen in the chair but his distress nothing to you, like my daughter’s life didn’t, was plainly visible nonetheless. I know all about you.” Bailey continued in the same steady, Opperman now looked panicky, almost emotionless tone, terrified, and yet he remained sitting in the chair across from this stranger that he’d met “On the phone to your mistress when you only thirty minutes earlier, staring as though killed Debbie weren’t you? Didn’t even bother transfixed, his mouth moving silently, his to stop and call for help. Don’t bother eyes darting this way and that as if searching denying it, I’ve seen your phone records, I’ve for a way out. Then he seemed to come to his seen your self-pitying e-mails. Oh, I’m sorry, senses and addressed Bailey in a strangled you can’t deny it can you? Don’t worry, we’ll voice. come to that in a minute,” the humorless grin again, “Do you know, I’ve spent the last year “Your daughter? I don’t understand, you getting to know you very well indeed, Dennis said you didn’t have kids.” Opperman. Where you work, where you live and, most importantly, where you drink. “I said that I didn’t have children Here, for instance,” Bailey tapped the table anymore,” replied Bailey, his expression, with a fingertip, “I’ve noticed you like to get previously friendly, had turned as hard as drunk and abuse the unfortunate staff here stone now, all amusement gone from his eyes, on a Friday after you finish work and before “my daughter was taken from me exactly a then driving home, hence my surprise year ago today,” he looked at his watch, “in appearance at your usual table this fine twenty minutes in fact. Then it will be evening.” precisely a year, to the minute, since a hit and run driver ran down my daughter as she Opperman’s face managed to convey walked home from her friend’s house. Police bewilderment but little else, so Bailey spoke say he must have mounted the pavement, once more. more than likely drunk, going way over the speed limit. Deborah never stood a chance. “Oh look here, I’ve found your cigarettes That was her name Dennis; Deborah. I for you, I must have picked them up with my paper.” Bailey lifted the newspaper off the chair beside him to reveal Opperman’s

crumpled packet and indicated his pack, still lying where Opperman had left them, after taking the second one a few moments before, “and, this is the part that I feel sure will interest you Dennis; you’ve been smoking these,” he picked up the packet, to show there were only two missing, “and I’m afraid I added a little something to them.” He let that sink in, watching Opperman’s mouth working listlessly, his eyes staring madly at Bailey. “I’m a chemist you see, a pharmacist by trade, I have access to all sorts of fascinating compounds, several of which are now circulating through your bloodstream. One of them is responsible for your current state of immobility whilst another is interfering with your speech. But most of them are concentrating on your nervous system and internal organs, all of which will soon begin shutting down for good. There is literally nothing you can do. A sensation I have become only too familiar with over the past year, but one which I believe will begin to fade very, very soon.” He picked up the newspaper, glanced briefly at Opperman, eyelids starting to droop now, consulted his watch one last time and returned to the final unsolved clue in his interrupted crossword; “Relieving traumatic experiences through emotional closure”. Bailey thought for a moment, nodded, filled in the small white squares with a wry smile and left the newspaper folded so Opperman could see it. Then he got up, left Kevin a large tip and walked into the bustling crowd. In the last moments of Denis Opperman’s life, peering at the paper through the rapidly closing tunnel of his fading vision, he could just make out the word, “ Catharsis“.



There was lots of cursing and a few tears arts, cooking, parenting, money, drinking, shed. I would put down my story arc for fixing mechanical objects, shooting. Everyone months and sometimes years, knowing at has flaws and wide gaping holes in their some moment I would get back to it, but not knowledge in certain areas. Let your just...yet. characters be scared of the dark, unable to swim, and run screaming from hordes of What I found worked for me was using spiders the size of Volkswagens. Pick three simple spiral-bound notebooks you can find things a person from X world with Y at Barns & Nobles, Half Priced Books, etc. background is excellent at. Let the flaws show Interesting covers, small enough to fit into a in simple ways. Cries at weddings, allergic to messenger bag and the spiral spine allowed all animals, hates horror movies and scary the notebook to folded in half or opened fully things. Humanity is how we connect to each while writing anywhere. And I do mean other and our characters need to be as human anywhere. Downtime or coffee...out came the and as flawed as us. messenger bag and my current notebook to be filled with my dripping brain thoughts. Those edits though will make or break Messy, almost illegible but they were my your reputation as a writer. Let the edits thoughts, my stories, my books coming to life happen. You will edit then get another or in a way that I can always work on and with. others to edit. The best way to learn to edit is to start reading other peoples work. What did But it sucks! A common refrain for every you like about their character? Their world? writer at all stages, especially the first draft. Their descriptions? Tell the other author. The first draft is you throwing everything you What did you not like? What can you have on a wall. It’s messy. It stinks. The order suggest? Do you have research or insight that and the characters are for shit. That’s what is valuable? But don’t be an ass when you give the next eight edits are for. No book, and I do critique. Try to gently phrase “This is shit” by mean no book, is spawned perfectly the first saying “I see what you have but could I make time out. That’s a myth. A shitty truth. You’re a few suggestions?”. Always works better. going to have to edit and a lot of edits are going to make you cry and not just a little Some people can write a book in 6 weeks, either. but take months, or years (Thank you JRR Martin) for their final version is ready to be What about the days I don’t wanna write? seen. If you want fast, it won’t be good. If you You’re going to have those days. Days where want good, edit edit and edit. Take your time nothing sounds good, everything sucks and to breath life into your worlds and not just you rip out five pages from yesterday because throw something on a wall and sell the house they are horrible and no character(s) sound covered in what you just threw up. like that! I once wrote a book but had to add one chapter to tie all the pieces together. Don’t hesitate to ask for help and other Took me six months and a lot of swearing people’s opinions. You’re not going to like because it was hard. Write. Rip. Write. Rip. what they say, but you will need to hear it. Once I let the characters talk to me, the Learn from each book you write. And never chapter went easier but it wasn’t pretty and stop writing. Finished your first book? Great! we (the chapter and I) weren’t on speaking Now start on the second book after a nice terms for months. dinner and a good bottle of wine or a great movie. Take a day off or even a week, but get Characters are how people connect with back on that horse and ride baby, ride. You your book. They see a little of themselves in have stories each character or someone they know. Don’t we want to make Mary Sues. The best advice I ever read read, but you was in a martial arts text about how every have to write person is good at three things on any given them for us. day/month/year. Those things can and will change but no one is good at science, martial



The hot sun baked the desert sand, wide range of trust. It came with time, reaching temperatures of 125 degrees something I would have a lot of in a one-year Fahrenheit during the summer. The wintry deployment. rainy season was cold, damp, and miserable. The dried, powdered, dusty sand turned into The ultimate show of trust, at the risk of a muddy quagmire during the rainy season. their own lives, was when locals confided in me…like the time when the information being Leaving Saudi Arabia for Iraq was relayed led to the whereabouts and capture of equivalent to jumping from a frying pan into their former president—Sadam Hussein the fire—there was a war going on in Iraq. himself. I brought along the remaining 365 One usually hot afternoon, a vendor marbles that brought with me from the U.S. approached me and wanted to talk to me in Every night I would flick a marble into the private…away from the office. That in itself night watching it disappear into the desert was unusual, but I went along. sky, and signifying a day gone. My marble jar would slowly get lower until the day would Looking around nervously, he finally come and the jar would be empty! confided that he had two cousins in Baghdad who had very important information that During my time in Iraq, amidst the nearly they needed to tell me. He went on to say said daily rockets and mortars landing onto our that they did not trust Americans but that he base at Camp Anaconda, I learned the Iraqi had convinced them to talk to me, that I was culture…not Sunni, Shi’a, Kurdish, or someone who could be trusted. So, they Christian, but Iraqi—through the eyes of agreed to travel to Balad from Baghdad—a entrepreneurs…both young and old. dangerous trek, to share their knowledge. “Would I listen to them?” he asked. I was assigned as a Contingency Contracting Officer and my job was to “Yes, of course. But if what they tell me is procure the best products, supplies, and important, I will need to introduce them to a services from local businessmen and women. couple of my friends.” Iraq was considered a modern state in the Arab culture because Saddam Hussein had “I will let them know this,” he concluded. liberal-western freedoms for women, which included college education and I was a little surprised when he showed entrepreneurs. the next day…with both of his cousins. We walked out to an empty field. “Thank you for During my time there at the base, I your trust,” I began. “Your cousin tells me administered hundreds of contracts that that you have something important to say. ranged from hard armored, bullet-proof steel, What would you like to tell me?” I asked. which was installed on our transport vehicles, to portable Electric Control Units (ECUs) that The vendor translated my question in kept our soldiers cool in the blazing heat and Arabic to the two men. One of them explained warm in the bitter cold. Our forces amounted something in Arabic. to more than twenty-five thousand in our sector alone. Turning to me, the vendor spoke. “He said that they know where one of Saddam’s By learning the Iraqi business culture, hideouts is in Baghdad. It is a safe house with including their Arabic language, I succeeded his officers and members of his team.” in building and establishing a long-term and “This is very important information,” I

told him. They will speak to my friends?” The situation had not changed. In fact it “Yes, they will tell them.” had gotten worse…much worse. The chains of “Come on,” I said in Arabic. “Follow me.” injustice were not loosened; the wicked I brought them to a pre-arranged room thrived; tyranny and terror was a way of life; and healing was nowhere in sight. with three members of the military intelligence community waiting...and left My mission was different though. I them there. Two hours later, they returned to represented the Defense Contract my contracting office. We had a small Management Agency (DCMA) and my task discussion—outside the building, and then was to find unaccounted for money to give they departed. I never saw any of them again. back to the newly elected Iraq Provisional Government. Ten days later—several miles to the north under a moonless night, approximately six My new office was in Baghdad, located in hundred soldiers from the 4th Infantry Saddam’s former palace. The palace was now Division (ID) began a raid in the small town the most prominent structure in what was of Ad Dawr. When the soldiers found a hole dubbed the Green Zone. Outside the zone, in partially buried, they uncovered it and to the rest of Baghdad, was the red zone. This their disbelief, found a beleaguered old man was considered the war zone. So, we were in with a scraggly gray and white beard hiding the center of the war zone. in it. On this mission, I was able to hire thirteen “I am Saddam Hussein. I am the president Iraqi nationals to help me. These thirteen of Iraq! I want to negotiate,” the man said in employees represented the moderate, and the English. progressive future of their country. College educated, they could speak, read, and write Days later, I discovered that one of English fluently. Hussein’s’ drivers told the Americans where he was hiding. Where did they find this One of them, Amal, also knew Spanish. I driver? American Soldiers rounded him up in used her as my primary translator. Her the Baghdad safe house along with many father, I’ll call Mr. Ethan Ali, was my age. others…the same safe house known by the Amal had a younger sister and an older vendor’s cousins. brother. Five more months went by…slowly. Then, Amal was a typical young Iraqi girl after a grueling year away from home in a war entering her coming of age period. The only zone, I flicked my last marble into the night difference between her and any American desert sky. My tour of duty was over. It had college girl, besides the obvious geographical been a very long year. I was going home. I location and language, was that her never wanted to see Iraq again. homeland was invaded by a foreign military. Nearly one year after departing Iraq—I Much was accomplished during my was back again...and not surprisingly, the deployment and I grew quite fond of each, Iraqi people still needed our help in a big treating them as if they were my sons and way. daughters. But, the time passed swiftly and for the second time, my tour of duty was complete and I went home…this time to retire. I felt relief after retiring, although I ended

up back in Iraq for a third time with a representative and inquired, “You knew contractor a year later. It was yet another about this?” year of living in a place full of destruction with a fractured government and economy— “No, we were unaware of this situation.” not to mention, away from home and family, “It can be fixed though, right?” I asked again. pleadingly. “We will certainly try our best. We’ll look That was another long year, more into it immediately.” dangerous for me than the previous two “Thanks, I’d appreciate that and I’m sure years. I did get a bonus from my company for the Ali family would too.” making it there for the whole year…safely. I soon learned the reason for Mr. Ali’s decision to leave his homeland was because The transition at home was more an anonymous caller threatened his life. In challenging than I could ever imagine, but Iraq, one takes these sort of calls seriously. that’s another story. His offense? He associated himself with Americans. Seven years had passed when I received As for the oldest daughter, Amal? For an unexpected phone call from a refugee more than five years, many of us have tried agency. I was now teaching college. Someone several ways to bring Amal to the US, so that from Lutheran Services had asked me if I she can re-unite with her family. To date, would sponsor Mr. Ethan Ali and his family nothing has worked. to come and live in America. After learning Meanwhile, what is life like for Amal still the extent of my responsibilities, I agreed. living in Baghdad? Perhaps the best way to understand her plight is to hear it from her It would not be our first time. My wife and own words: I had one of my former employees from Iraq live with us for several months. She stayed Hello, I am Amal, a thirty-year-old girl with us until her husband was able to come to living in Baghdad, Iraq. My family left me America. Then, they went out west to begin a behind after they fled as refugees for helping new life in America. American soldiers during the war. I was not allowed to join them. So, agreeing to support Mr. Ali was not a new experience for us. The day came when I, On a typical day, I arrive home, lock all along with my wife, met Mr. Ali and his the doors and windows, cook dinner, watch family at the Orlando airport. He was so TV, and fall asleep. Daylight fades into happy to see us that he held onto me and darkness and I sit on the floor in the corner cried. —hidden in the shadows. The lights are off…I stay quiet. Such is my life. A team from the agency was present. With Ethan were his wife and his youngest One night I woke up terrified! There was daughter, who was now nineteen. Absent heavy knocking on my door and I didn't were his son, who was married with children know what to do. I kept my lights off and and his oldest daughter, Amal. His son and checked my phone to see if I missed a call or family came later. a text from my neighbors who always warn me of danger. Nothing. I was surprised when I did not see Amal. “Where is Amal?” I asked alarmed. Ethan answered that the authorities would not let her come. I looked at the supporting agency

The knocking continued—heavier than before. I froze with fear. A man’s voice demanded, “Open the door!” I was too terrified to respond. It was 12:30 AM. Were they the police? The Army? Or terrorists pretending to be army members? I heard the stories about terrorists who came to houses dressed like the army or police. Some people opened the door and were not seen again. The knocking stopped. I kept very still. I could not sleep the rest of the night—the rest of the week, in fact. It has been five long years since my family was forced to leave me behind. They are in America. I am here—in my own country… living in fear…my eyes often filled with tears. Who will deliver me from the grasp of the bad man? Why do I live like a weed in a desolate land? Will I ever hold my mother again? Will I look into the eyes of my father? Will I share a smile with my sister? Only God knows…only God knows. *Towards the end of my 25-year military career, I wanted nothing more than to finish my tour in Iraq and return home in one piece. But when the people of the country we invaded look to us for hope and a chance of having peace, I put my heart and soul into building trust through compassion and care while doing everything in my power to bring that hope and peace to their lives. Yet, the stakes are deadly for the ones who are seen befriending and helping an American soldier. We lost several Iraqi people who became our friends.



The Watchmen film also surprised, mercenaries of Blackwater/Xe et al., who had bringing an epic, alternative modern history, rampaged across real nations with legal new characters that flirted with parody, and a impunity, their murder sprees still winding dark, twisted narrative that did not follow through a deliberatley dysfunctional “justice” clichéd formulas. system. Injustice would be the theme of Rent-A-Hero. A key idea formed the spine of my new story, which was also its original title: Rent- The writing of the first draft was a blur, A-Hero. My story would explore the but it quickly morphed into DEMIGODS after phenomenon of supernatural mercenaries, I populated it with so many super-powerful superpowers for hire. This was, naturally, an characters. Some suggested old archetypes, artistic response to the real-world but they needed modern twists. I then realized what could link them all together and provide cohesion, a controlling idea. The theory of Dark Matter is interesting in that it allegedly provides most of the matter of the Universe, but no one has ever seen, touched or tasted it. It's the elephant in the room, so they claim. The Dark Matter ocean would flow through our world everywhere, superimposed atop our reality. If some living creature could harness this dark connection, then its quantum “entanglement” would be a near-infinite source of power, its “Supernatural” property. The DEMIGODS' story pieces were snapping together, but one key element was still missing. A tale about power naturally needs its opposite. Who is the most powerless character in our world, and why would this character repeatedly interact with the most potent, throughout an escalation of world- changing events? How could the relationship between the powerless and the powerful seem plausible, natural, and not tacked on by a puppet master? DEMIGODS, the screenplay, has yet to launch itself at movie screens. But, with another evolution, from screenplay to novel, this story may yet break out on September 26, 2019, through Indies United Publishing House LLC.



His face showed good humor, and he said, She swallowed. “But what happened?” “Merely asking. Not asking.” “Cancer,” he said. “Oh. I’m sorry. Er, what sort of cancer, if I She narrowed her eyes. “That’s a line if may ask?” I’ve ever heard one.” He gave her a tired, gentle smile. “All of them, I think.” “Not really,” he said. “Promise.” She sighed and said nothing. They sipped Their coffee arrived, and they went their coffee as the moment passed. through the customizations. After a sip, she “What do you do, Michael?” said, “And you? No girlfriend or wife?” His smile elevated several notches “I His face seemed remote. “No,” he said. travel.” She pointed at the ring on his finger. He “Travel?” didn’t try to hide it or look guilty about it. He “Yes. You see, one night over a gourmet touched it with his thumb, a movement that dinner of grilled cheese and tomato soup seemed practiced. “Not anymore,” he Joanna and I made a list of places we thought amended. we would like to see together. And since you “Turn you in on a new model?” she asked. don’t have to budget a dream, we thought big. “Or was it you that traded up?” When everything was over and her employer “Neither,” he said. He took a deep breath. was forced to admit that perhaps their safety “I had two perfect years. Two perfectly perfect precautions had been lacking, I found I had years. And then two that weren’t so perfect. the means. And so I travel. Every place on our And now that’s over.” list,” he said. She frowned. “What happened?” “Oh,” she smiled. “How many places have “What do you do?” he asked. you been?” “I’m a secretary.” “All of them,” he told her. “No,” he corrected with a grin, “that’s your “You just travel?” job. What do you do?” “I travel. I went to every place on that list. She half-smiled. “I paint.” And when I got there, I found a person with “What do you paint, Margie Baldwin?” kind eyes. Eyes like yours. Eyes like hers. And “Watercolors. Landscapes,” she conceded I told them her story. I told them her name. as if confessing. “I like to paint landscapes.” And so, there are hundreds of people out He nodded. “Joanna was a physicist.” there in the world who know who she was. “Joanna?” Who know her name. Just as you do.” His face became reverent. “Joanna Marie She swallowed the lump in her throat. Dellacorte Hancock,” he said carefully and his “That’s lovely,” she said. eyes brightened. “My wife. She was a He nodded. He checked his watch and physicist. It was what she did and what she said, “It’s time to go. You’re waiting on did. She loved her work. Loved her job. She friends.” was going to make the world better. Safer.” “It’s okay,” she said. “You don’t have to “What happened?” go.” “She was young. Young and full of life and “I do,” he assured her. hope and dreams… and willing to believe her “Where are you going next?” employer when they made assurances about He stood, took several bills from his such things as safety precautions and equipment.”

wallet, and laid them on the table. “It was lovely to meet you, Ms. Baldwin. Thank you. Thank you for coffee, and for talking with me.” “Where are you going next?” she asked again, rising with him. He put his hands in his pockets. “Good evening,” he said. With a slight bow, he turned and walked down the street, blending into the crowd. And he was gone. She sat, staring at the place where he had vanished. She sat there until her friends found her. They sat. “Hello,” Kate said, waving a hand. “Earth to Margie. Earth to Margie. Come in, Margie.” Margie blinked at Kate and Della. “Oh. Hi.” “Where were you?” Della asked. “Hmm? Oh,” Margie mused, frowning, “there was- there was a man…” “OoooOOOH,” Kate cooed. “A maaayun.” “It’s not like that,” Margie insisted. She considered. “He was married.” “Margie!” Della scolded. “No, no,” Margie said. “It was… he was…” She stared into the crowd, searching. “Her name,” she said, “was Joanna. Joanna Marie Dellacorte Hancock. And she was a physicist…”



through the good times, bad times, heart- who despite the many troubles we still face, breaking times and the way the characters are are still there and regardless of anything, pull affected and how they affect each other is with me through it all, and also Nancy Holder revealed throughout the story. who helped create the great Buffy books I still love, and inspired me to carry on being The main theme of the book is ‘Broken inspired and motivated! I also would like to doesn’t mean worthless.’ The concept was give a massive thank you to Lisa Orban, developed after I faced severe stigma both as without you, I would be counting all my grey a partner and a parent due to my mental hairs. Lastly, I hope everyone will look out for health problems, and also what I learned my book! about mental health and relationships from personal experience. My book is also written using my experience as a Time to Change Champion which opened my eyes as to how many different challenges a person faces with mental health problems, and how people view them. I hope to be able to challenge the stigma that ‘people shouldn’t stay together with mental health problems,’ ‘if you have a mental health problem your violent,’ and ‘a person with mental illness shouldn’t parent.’ These are also stigmas I have faced myself. I know that being in love with someone with mental health problems can be hard, and I also know that parenting with mental health problems can be very difficult. However, I have also come across couples who go through many hardships, and parents who face extreme difficulties, yet these people do a wonderful job with the right help and support. Mental health does not and should not always mean losing everything, and it does not mean one is incapable of love. These are features which I am excited to be exploring through my book, which will be published very soon. I would like to end my article by thanking the team at Indies United Publishing, my favourite singer in the world Olly Murs, who I battled PTSD to see perform in Bournemouth, and whose speech on mental health helped me through a panic attack in the crowd, and my husband and children,



“Go down here.” Tass stabbing a finger narrowed eyes, her nose almost pressing at the glass, pointing emphatically. “I want against the glass as if that would hurry the to look at this house. Land here.” Her voice plane’s landing. brooked no argument. The older woman blinked at the commanding tone, but Mrs. Mrs. Verigon swallowed hard but tried Verigon merely nodded. One did indulge for a perky voice. “Well, then we shall see the clients, even the...odd ones. She stood what is down there.” She had never liked up in the small plane, smoothing her dark zombies, even as a small child, ghosts were red skirt, an unconscious motion on her more acceptable. Something that would not way to the cockpit. make her want to run screaming back to the cities as fast as the plane could carry her. Tass looked down at the sprawling house. She could almost hear something The hover plane landed, to the right of even this far up and she wanted to listen to the house, with only a few bumps. Mrs. those voices. Verigon clutched the leather seat armrests tightly with the turbulence. Tass could The plan started to tilt slowly, lowering barely contain her impatience as the pilot their altitude. let down the stairs. “The captain said it would be a few Tass unsnapped her seatbelt as soon as moments as he needs to find a flattish area the plane stopped, heading for the door. to land.” Mrs. Verigon chirped as she The latch was simple to open now that the walked back towards Tass. plane had landed. A quick twist and Tass was able to hop down the stairs to the house Tass gave a sharp nod to Mrs. Verigon, at a quick walk. She didn’t wait for the concentrating on the rising landscape, bodyguard Mrs. Verigon has brought along dismissing the realtor. The realtor bit her for the rough viewing areas. lip on the child’s rudeness but reminded herself that Dancers, especially the very The bodyguard was quick to follow successful and rich Dancers were an odd without an invitation from the blond girl. and dangerous lot. The dark skinned man, with blue highlights in his long braid tucked into a bun, with “Is there something about this area that smaller braids along the sides, was out the you feel is special, dear?” Mrs. Verigon plane following on Tass’ heels. His eyes asked hesitantly, her hand was always moving and one hand on his disc outstretched; however, Mrs. Verigon knew pistol. The bodyguard's scrolling arm tattoo better than to touch an ex-Dancer without in silver and gold shimmered in the day her permission. sun, subtle against dark skin. “I can hear the dead,” Tass said cocking Tass stopped in front of the house, her her head. “They almost sound happy.” head bowed and slightly tilted to the left. Mrs. Verigon went to talk to her but was Mrs. Verigon sat up a little straighter. stopped by a well-muscled arm of the “Are any still moving?” bodyguard. Tass had to concentrate only for a “Why are you stopping me?” She moment. “No. They have all been laid to snapped, not seeing any dangers for the rest but more than a few have not moved bodyguard to be touching her for. on. I am curious as to why.” The girl went back to staring out the window, with

“Not while she’s talking to the dead.” “Was scaring her really necessary?” Tass Was all the man said, “Unless you want to asked the bodyguards after as Mrs. Verigon be missing a chunk of flesh to one of her left. zombies?” “Yes.” The man grinned. “She has no “She can’t raise a zombie out here! No clue what it takes to raise or fight the dead.” bodies under 100 years may be raised.” With a slight shrug, “Plus it adds to your mystique.” “This land has a fuck ton more than 100 year old zombies.” The man said with the Tass tossed a glare over her shoulder, disdain used to talk to a very slow adult causing the older man to flash his broken with little common sense. tooth smile wider. “And this should worry me how?” Mrs. “I should have the undead grab your Verigon said with narrowed eyes, her feet.” She muttered but she didn’t really shoulders tight, anger lacing her voice as mean it. Much. she slammed her left fist onto a hip. “There are that many undead here you “She could pull zombies enough up to could do that?” bury you me and that plane and never break a sweat. IF, and that if is always It was Tass’ turn to flash an evil smile contingent on how sane the necromancer is, with very white regular teeth. She knew she wanted to.” The man gave a slight how to rattle a fighting Dancer. smile, showing only the bottom edges of his teeth. “Fuck, if I had known that I’d have asked for double the pay.” The man crossed his “How would you...” An insulting hands over his wiry chest, but he did keep a emphasizes to imply a 3rd rate bodyguard closer eye on the ground they tread. would understand anything “Know what “Necromancers are all crazy,” he muttered she can or cannot do?” none too quietly. “I studied her and her sisters’ old “I heard that!” fights.” The bodyguard said lowering his “Woulda been wasted if you hadn’t.” The arm from the realtor's shoulders. “Those dark skinned man said with a toss of his two could pull the dead faster and from head, loose smaller braids clacking together further than either let on.” Again with that softly, laughingly. slight smile. “I am betting there are more The realtor came back with a few than a few extra bodies tucked here and pouches of water. The guard was watching there due to those two then the Arena can the girl as she seemed to be listening to the account for.” The bodyguard looked at the ground and the house. She would stare for a almost innocent looking slim hipped girl in moment then wander off. The guard kept grey slacks with the admiration of one his eyes on her and the surrounding athlete for another. shoulder high grass and brush. This area could hide more than a few things that Mrs. Verigon swallowed once more. “I’ll would leave a nasty scar. get some water for us shall I?” and she beat “What is she doing?” The realtor hissed. a well-manicured retreat on 3-inch heels. “Probably talking to the dead, still.” The She made it to the hover plane with only a bodyguard said just as softly. minor wobble or two in the tall grass. “Are they really that loud?”

“Louder for the necromancers then you close today, I’m told.” With a shrug, Tass or I will ever be.” headed back to the plane. “I’ll take it.” She commented to the realtor, plucking a globe “How the hell can that be! We’re living.” of water from the realtor’s hand un- She snapped, unconsciously outraged that a responsive hand. The conversation between dead body was better company than her the Dancer and the guard going over her well-heeled self could be. head. Quick disgusted look. “You’re not trying “I…not on the list. I’ll need to find out to get her attention. You want her to buy who to…” She stuttered. the land while you get your commission and go away.” Disdainfully. “The dead are dead. “Davin,” Tass responded, her eyes No one listens to them. Except for moving over the yard and house again with necromancers. And the dead know this. The a faint smile playing over her lips as she stronger the Power, the easier they hear took a pull of the drink. every undead whisper, cry or scream. The living cannot compete…except for a “Excuse me?” The realtor's voice was mother’s newborn child. Maybe. If the babe incredulous. is lucky.” His eyes kept looking left and right, head turned slightly but eyes always “Davin is the sole survivor and he lives moving. in one of the cities.” Tass took a sip. “Madile wasn’t sure which city but he is the only one Tass walked around the house with its left in the family.” peeling paint of white and grey and almost cheerful dark blue shutters. She stopped at “Madile?” several patches of mostly un-reclaimed “The original owner. She passed the land to grass patches marked in rusting thigh high her middle son, Morganus.” Tass looked ornate wrought wire. She nodded her head around the yard not really seeing the here to a conversation that the other two could and now. “He was the only one who wanted not hear. to farm. The rest up and moved.” The guard stiffened when Tass’s head “Leaving Davin as the final living turned to the left sharply looking to the relative?” head high grass. She was nodding to an unheard conversation. The grass bent “Yes!” Tass looked both pleased and against the push of the wind. The relieved that the realtor finally followed her bodyguard's hand unlocked his disc gun, train of thought. With a last nod, she easing it out. headed into the hover plane. “Don’t,” Tass said. “I’ll get on that right now.” The realtor “Dangerous?” pulled out her laptop, tapping her neck “Not to us.” She stopped to listen. “The collar. Cheshire isn’t hungry or desperate enough to attack all of us.” “Dysic, I need to look for a Davin who is “There’s more than just one of those out the owner of land in the wilds.” She started here.” tapping one manicured blue nail on her “The frogs are another issue and not pad. “If I knew the last name, I wouldn’t need to send you the coordinates or even call you now would I?” Her sarcasm was acidic to her office underling. So engrossed was she that she didn’t even mind the

bodyguard’s hand on the small of her back “I can hear your disapproval,” Tass said helping to herd her into the plane. Tass had with a smile, amused as her hand restlessly moved into the plane, ready to return to the twitched, fiddling with the blue tassels on city and start talking to her lawyer about the gold and blue pillow. Several other the land purchase. throw pillows of bright colors scattered like careless gems around the couch and floor, Tass was sitting looking out the window, breaking the monotony of grey and white. ignoring the talking realtor and the quiet guard. She had a small musing smile as the “Your parents will file suit to stop you plane took off. from “squandering” your money.” Anger threaded through his professional voice. The striped iridescent purple and light Very few people saw through her parents, blue Cheshire stepped from the grass, with caring adoring public façade, Jerico was horizontal slit eyes narrowed to a hair thin one of a handful. line as it watched the strange machine rise up into the bright blue sky. The mouth Tass could imagine him, in his office opened almost to the large furry ears, with tightened jaw clamping down on white exposing sharp pointed teeth in a yawn. The teeth, not saying what was really going Cheshire stretched then went to her favorite through his mind. place in the tree next to the white not-tree. The branch was 10 feet from the ground “They sued last time and got their bank and curving just so horizontally that fit the account drained far more than they wanted long lean felinoid body. Her tail only a with the last purchase they tried to fight.” couple of feet from the ground. She could She said egging him on, but only slightly. watch for unwary prey to wander into the He had had enough run-ins with them in yard from her vantage. She felt mild and out of court to despise them as much as concern for the unusual bird that came into she and Torri. her Territory but the small furry food that the bird had frightened into her waiting “They may have better legal grounds this paws made up for her concern with a full time.” His voice dropped in tone with stomach. worry. “Tass.” Jerico was only slightly irritated. “I’m emancipated, yes?” When he was really irritated he used her “By the skin of your teeth. If they can first and last name. “This is a huge purchase prove you are doing too many narcotics or and the renovations will take at least half of show a habit of recklessness they could try your bank account.” to have you committed.” “Luckily I have you to block them from “But just the one account. Yes?” She their own stupidity.” stared out of the window, watching the Jerico was silent for a moment. “Tass, clouds roll in, hiding the city’s skyscrapers, we’ve covered this before however…” leaning against the grey silk couch. The silk “No.” Tass sat up with a snarl, her fist matched the plush throw rugs over white balling at her side. A small alarm went off flagstone flooring. on the sidewall, by the front door, next to the aquarium filled halfway with dirt. The “Yes.” A heavy sigh. “Just the main one.” dirt was starting to move. Jerico was trying for professional calm. “I can hear the alarm going,” Jerico said

gently as he tried for calm. and unclenching. Tass took three deep breaths, pushing “My job as your lawyer to cover all the out the irritation. The alarm subsided as the issues, not just the purchasing.” Jerico dirt stopped moving. waited for a moment for Tass’ response. When none were forthcoming he cleared his “Better.” Tass clenched her jaw this throat to bring her back to the here and time. “And the answer is still no. I will NOT now. “Tass.” pay my parents an allowance to keep them away from me.” Tass’ lips lifted in a silent “I hear you.” Tass stared back out the snarl, the alarm blinked a warning as a window. The view was magnificent at 40 tremor was detected in the dirt but not floors up. “If it makes you feel better and if movement. you think it will keep them off your ass for allowing this, emphasize how dangerous the “Doroigan…” outliers’ areas are. If I die they are likely to “Is crippled and subsisting on his former inherit.” This time her eyes narrowed as she glory after they drained him dry.” Tass growled out the comment. pinched the bridge of her nose in anger. She shook her head to look at the tranquil “That area isn’t very dangerous. Only skyline again, searching for elusive calm. yellow/green.” Jerico wasn’t buying her “He won’t be able to maintain the stipends spin on the property to protect her from the he uses but he will continue long past the impending parental lawsuit. point of driving him onto the streets just to keep them away.” “But red for Necromancers.” She said “Your sister pays them,” Jerico said, smugly. pushing back against her stubbornness. The same stubbornness that had kept both Jerico sucked in his breath. “They will sisters alive during the Dances. protest over this.” His voice dropping to a “But only from out of her caretaker's whisper. Yellow was well within her ability paycheck. NOT from her Dancing but red was nothing to trifle with when accounts.” Tass said with a sniff at her dealing with PTSD as well. sister’s unwillingness to fight. “Thankfully your parents don’t know “This is why you emphasis the that.” Jerico breathed a sigh of relief. inheritance if I die.” She snapped tartly “Be thankful they haven’t figured out a back. legal way to come after you since you’re sleeping with her. Or how much she really “Your will doesn’t leave them more than makes at the hospital.” Tass said with edged the coast for a box seat at the Stadium. And humor, looking at the phone with both that is for one, not two I might add.” He exasperation and fondness. said, slightly snippy in return. He would be “Ugh. Now you’re being bitchy.” But she dealing with the fallout and lawsuits from could hear his laughter that took the sting her parents, not her, if she died. out of the comment. “Then stop bringing up my parents.” She “Yeah,” A cold smile flitted across her said in aggrieved tones, her fists clenching face. She had paid for that will with blood and more money than she wanted but it would be worth every penny not going to her parents for an iron clad protected last will and testament. “I know. But they don’t.”

“Evil and exactingly cruel.” Jerico’s voice Jerico hesitated, “If you are truly set on held approval. this, I will help. Promise me, you'll be careful out there yes? “Now will you write your proposal and see if we can’t get a better price than the “I promise.” This time Tass’ voice grew one offered by Ms. Verigan?” She was hoarse. “I can’t stand staying this close to almost petulant. Almost. my parents. I need to leave. What they did to Titon and Dorigan...” Tass blinked “Do you plan to sell your penthouse?” rapidly trying to stall the tears; she couldn’t Tass had to stop and think. This idea finish the sentence even as one tear slid was new to her. “Hmm…hadn’t considered down her face. She wiped it away angrily it. It was a gift.” The elderly couple who had with a shake of her head. gifted it to her after they had made a killing betting on her and her sister during the “Yes, Tass. I will take care of it.” Jerico’s third worst Dance in the twins’ career. Tass voice was gentle. He had held Torri through still had nightmares of the sand ants and many nightmares concerning her parents warriors with nets. and a few from the Dances. “A very nice gift that you won’t need when you move.” Jerico pointed out. “And I “Thank you. Give Torri a hug for me won't even suggest letting your parents when you see her.” Tass’ voice was less have it. Though that would sweeten their gravely but the pain was still there. Jerico greed for a month or two.? could hear it. She ignored the comment of her parents. “Where would I stay? The hotels “That will be tonight, and I will be very are nice but they don’t have rising alarms.” happy to give her your hug,” Jerico said She mused. “We have 3 alarms. We can acquire a 4th with a smile as he hung up the phone. if you need a place to stay when you visit.” Tass stood with a slow stretch up then Tass grinned. “Really? I know how much put her hands to the floor feeling the pull of you hate the alarms.” muscles and scar tissue. She stood up, “Dead things in glass aquariums are not walking to the aquarium, to smooth the dirt my idea of house decoration.” The sigh was back over her alarm. heavy. He had lost the argument when faced with the facts of how likely a powerful Three weeks later, Jerico had come necro was to raise anything or everything through for her. He had negotiated a far dead within range; human or animal and better term for the land then Tass had any some things should never be raised on a right to expect. Half the estimated land colonized world. He had given in but had value in cash with an exchange for box seat insisted that the warning riser cabinets season tickets for the next five years of any have a wood finish with metal etched Dance at any arena of the seller’s choice, for screens that looked a part of the two. Davin had jumped on that deal faster decorations besides bare glass with dirt. than the real-estate agent could say yeah or “Necessary though.” nay. Her cut was somewhat reduced, but “For you and your sister, absolutely.” Jerico sweetened her deal with another pair of Season tickets for two years. She would make a killing selling the tickets or make connections if she decided to attend. Ms.

Was also very happy with the land sale even loose, instead of their Dancer braided if the sale had not been completely what she upswept hair. had originally bargained for. Jerico escorted both to their low table, Any retired Dancer was entitled to six with a reed mat for each to sit on, redolent tickets to any Dance in or out of Season of freshly cut grass and brilliant brocaded game, at any of the three Arenas. Tass never lounging pillows. The pillows were large used hers, allowing Jerico to sell for extra enough for either a Wolfen or Katherian, money into her retirement account. Seven and could have made a bed for either seasons of Dancing, with the last three in woman. Jerico and Torri shared a seat, the top 10 spots of necromancers, had given showing open affection, with frequent Tass enough time on the sands that she kisses and hand holding, to the dismay of would never willingly step back in any the older patrons. Arena. Her parents were not allowed to use any of her tickets or the sales of; they were Tass grinned at the eddies of disruption barred from attempting to use her name to the three of them made. The wait staff gain access to the reserved box seats. All handled the unexpected arrival of the twins arenas had this noted in their systems on with aplomb. There were a few other the understanding that Jerico’s firm would Dancers there, at least one who was sue them for a multitude of violations. That currently a popular top five warrior, but the was but one of the many court battles Tass twins had been a novelty at their debut had had to fight to keep her parents from working together, neither trying to profiting off of her as a former Dancer. undercut or kill the other with the Dance seasons only reaffirming their twin bond. The judge had pointed out that as The two of them could still draw a crowd former Dancers themselves, they already had more tickets than they were using as “I am not leaving you, Torri.” Tass none of their children would willingly sit reached a hand across the round table, to with them at any Dance. Her parents’ greed touch her twin’s hand. Torri grabbed her was becoming well known by that point, hand like they would on the sands. Two earning scorn in many vectors. necro alarms went off, turning heads “Are you sure?” Was all Torri asked, when towards the tastefully etched aquariums of Jerico presented the key to Tass over dinner dirt. They laughed parting hands, sharing at the new posh Katherian restaurant. impish grins. The alarms died down. Two seasons out of the Dance and the “I know. It’s just so far.” Torri’s said twins still turned heads as they walked into with a sad smile. The scar running down the restaurant. Torri and Tass had once the left side of her face pulling slightly. again mimicked each other unknowingly, for dinner. Each wore an ankle length dress “Not far enough!” They both laughed at draped over one shoulder, split up the hip, their common refrain concerning their showing well-muscled if scared thighs. parental units. “You can both come out and Torri went with her customary dark red visit once I have the house back up to ship while Tass wore a deep almost violet code,” Tass said, leaning over the glossy sapphire blue. Their hair was fashionably wood table. “No reason to be stuck here when you have a free weekend or week. It is…only a couple hours by hover.”

“Very true!” Torri said raising her glass bitter. toasting her sister’s health. “Actually, not this time,” Jerico said Dinner was served after the first round with a smile he shared with both her and of drinks. The meat was grilled, or not to Torri. “When I sat them down and the person’s dining preference. Tass ate explained that you were taking your life into more vegetables than meat most days. The your own hands and that you had finally taste of blood would occasionally send her written them into your will, they were into a flashback, even this night she had praising your farming venture.” had to put her fork down to drink the heady and sweet Silver wine to rinse the blood “Nothing like greed to motivate those taste out from her well done marbled two,” Tass muttered, deciding a few more portion of meat. sips would do wonders for her frayed nerves. Torri and Jerico exchanged looks towards the end of dinner when there were “Tass you didn’t actually write them in only scraps of the meal left on the plates did you?!” Torri was aghast, she leaned before them. forward to start telling her twin the horrors of their parents. Tass took a sip of her wine, savoring the flavor and enjoying the way the pale wine “Pfft. What fool do you think I am? Not spun in the oversized glasses. The glasses even the Witch herself could get me to give made her small hands seem even smaller. them all my money when I die. ” Tass took a This amused her in a way being slightly larger than normal sip, coughing slightly. inebriated could. Torri leaned around the table to pound her sister on the back. She looked up to her sister and her lover. “Out with it you two.” She said with a Tass waved her off. “Fine fine.” She smile. “Are you finally preggers, sister spluttered, putting the wine down. “I did dear?” write them into my will, but only for the amount of one ticket to the games.” Torri blushed to the roots of her blond hair. “No!” But she did give Jerico a very Torri sat back, her mouth open in both sweet smile of sharp chiseled pointed white shock and glee. “That’s…that’s rabid teeth she had not bothered to cap after her fantastic!” She turned to Jerico. “I need to Dancing career. “But we are trying.” She do that! Tomorrow.” She said emphatically. amended. Jerico picked up her hand and kissed “Congratulations!” Tass said with her fingers. His dark hand emphasizing her heartfelt love for them both. They could use pale fingers in a lovely way. “Tomorrow we as much happiness as possible and a child will sit down and re-do your will.” would complete the pair. Possibly four or five. “Thank you, love.” She gave him a slow kiss that made Tass blush. Torri loved her Jerico tapped Tass on the hand. “That’s husband so unabashedly that Tass could not what we need to talk about though.” not imagine loving anyone not her twin, so deeply. Their parents had broken all of their Tass sighed, putting her wine down. children in different ways. “Our oh so lovely parents causing a headache?” her voice was soft but no less “So if you aren’t in the mothering way, yet, what is the news?” Tass interrupted the

lover birds giggling snuggle fest. Jerico’s nostrils flared as his eyes narrowed. Torri sat up with a deep breath. Tass Tass took another sip of wine, her hands noticed how she did not let go of Jerico’s not shaking but the floor felt unsteady. She hand as she fumbled for her purse. She pricked her finger touching the drop of pulled out a rumbled rectangular letter, and blood to the wax. The wax drank the blood, actual paper and ink letter, instead of an sending a current through the electronic electronic communication. Torri handed it tape. The tape unsealed, exposing a very to her sister almost furtively. “I got this thick heavy sheet of paper with only three from Titon. You need to read this.” Her lines. Expensive, Tori thought scanning the voice was quiet but it was her eyes that words, her breath huffing out as if he had scared Tass. Only when they had to face gut punched her again. Titon and Dorigan on the Sands, had Torri had that utter look of rage, desolation, and “Dear little sister, I could not handle determination. what I was forced to do the sands. Tass took the letter with the care used I do my penance with the Runners’ God for one of the Ancient skeletons of Justice. I still love you, please forgive occasionally found. “Must have cost him a me. small fortune to send this.” Was all she said, for the moment, taking a sip of wine In memory, examining the paper envelope sealed with Titon electronic tap. The paper was closed with a wax and blood seal. The security of the seals “Is he fucking insane?!” Tass’ voice said more than the letter at face value. Tass carried throughout the restaurant. Every realized she would rather drink or fight head turned towards her. All three risers in instead of reading what fresh hell he might the restaurant went off. Jerico reached have to say. across the table to put two fingers on her wrist, the vein pulsing in time with her “A friend from work has a brother who is elevated heart rate and a thumb on top her a ship captain. Two letters were handed wrist. The conditioning that calmed all over.” Dancers no matter what flavor, worked but just barely. The “Two?” “I’ve already read mine.” risers dirt had exploded with the bones “Not three?” of small creatures erupting from the dirt, “As far as I know Dorigan won’t need or muscles, skin, and fur flowing over the want to know what Titon has to say.” Torri bleached bones like water in reverse. took a hasty sip of her almost full glass. “I didn’t want to know.” She muttered. One of the Katherian waiters hurried “A way off the planet and away from our over. It wasn’t Torri who stopped him but despised parents would go a long way in the other Dancers in the room. Six of them. saying “I’m sorry,” Tass said with the taste The stood and waited, tension in the lines of of bitter lemon and sand in her mouth warriors, the necros’ held their heads tilted, thinking of her crippled brother. listening. The other guests stopped eating “Not when you read what he is doing.” ready to move out of the way if this became a live Dance.

Tass shook her head but did not shake Tass tried to take another sip from her off Jerico’s hand. One breathe, two. The sister’s empty glass, failing that she put the risers stopped screaming. The bones buried glass down with a thump, motioning for themselves in the dirt. Tass slapped the their waiter for another bottle. “How bad is table with her free hand. She was back in this going to be?” control. Jerico let go and the other Dancers sat back down, most just as pleased not to “No Dancer has ever willing worked for have to fight on their off time. The current the Runners or been forced to be a warrior glared over his shoulder at Tass for Guardian.” whatever perceived slight to or loss of control by her. The warrior’s companion “But he wasn’t forced now was he?” Tass thumped him on the shoulder breaking the snapped, flicking the rim of the glass with glares, whispering something in his ear. A her finger causing the crystal to chime shake of his head and dinner resumed. sweetly in counterpoint to her own emotions. Tass swallowed her wine in one large gulp then reached over to take Torri’s glass “No, but that won’t change public and finishing her’s off as well. opinion, who will assume the worst of your parents.” It was Jerico’s turn to take a deep “You could have warned me,” Tass said breath. “Tass.” Jerico tapped Tass’ hand hoarsely, a knot in her throat. catching her attention. “You’re parents weren’t going to lose any bets no matter “Would you have believed me?” Torri who won when they threw all four of their reached a hand across the table. children onto the sands that Dance. They could have protested, keeping you and Torri “No.” Tass looked away, but took her off the sands or Titon and Dorigan. Either sister’s hand. pair of you would have won but they tried to sacrifice all of you for gain, not for love. “Our brother needs…something he can’t Titon chose to save the two of you after you find here.” threw yourself over Torri as Dorigan was about to kill her.” “Justice isn’t what he will get.” “Peace of mind that his death will be Tass opened her mouth, but Jerico agonizing enough perhaps.” shook his head not letting her speak. “I’ve Tass looked up, her face draining of watched the films. Dorigan was on a blood. “Our parents…” Dancer’s high. Nothing mattered anymore “Your parents are the only one who will to him. Life and death were meaningless. face the consequences of your brother’s He saw only targets, not siblings. You and actions. This is not a reflection on either of Torri were both dying and all the bodies you.” Jerico mouth was pressed into a thin from the other Dancers too damaged for line. either of you to raise for shielding. Titon “Though when this breaks with the next made his choice. He managed to wake time Redeyes is seen on the screen and your enough to save you both. Dorigan couldn’t. brother is behind her as one of the Let Titon have this self-sacrifice on his Guardians, Torri.” Jerico motioned to Torri terms.” “will come and visit you for a while until things blow over or your parents are torn to Tass looked away first. “He’ll never be bits on the public’s media.”

able to come home.” broken bed slats. “Why don’t you help me “Would he ever have come home? figure out a few of those things in the morning?” Acid could burn no sharper. Really?” Jerico’s look penetrated through Tass pipe dreams. “Girl, you’re going to need someone else to do your thinking if this is the best you “No.” Tass accepted a full glass from the got.” waiter downing half in one sip. “Morning. Until then let me sleep.” Tass “He sacrificed his win for his sister’s laid down on the dank thin padding, closing life.” Jerrico’s look was as bitter as Tass’. her eyes to huddle under the meager layers “Not since the Witch and the Warrior has of her hastily grabbed clothing. there been so much haranguing over a win. Let him go his path.” He squeezed her Tass jerked up as if a hot wire had hit hand. her. “Let me sleep unless there is danger. Watch over me and keep me safe.” Tass, eyes burned. She had long since stopped complaining about the fairness of The other ghosts drifted out with her life but this time she wanted to be three and command but the old woman nodded have her aunt pick her up and hold her, approval. “Now you’re learning child.” lying that everything would be fine. She brushed away a tear. “Not much I can do for The Cheshire cat slipped through a him. I do wish him well though. The worm broken window pane, the ragged glass bait Goddess is getting a better Guardian merely brushing fur as the cat contorted than she deserves.” through a space anyone watching would have sworn was too small for her to move “Yes, yes she is.” Torri agreed fervently. through. Ears twitching and her nose taking in all the new strange scents, led the cat to The first night in the new house Tass the room where the new ugly cat with too regretted bringing almost nothing with her small a mouth nested. The cat sniffed as the but clothes and a small cooler for water in smell triggered a memory. The cat sniffed her haste to leave the city. again. Same scent as previous without any extra ugly cats. “You are unprepared girl, how the hell did you survive the Sands?” The old The hairless cat opened its eyes, slowly woman’s ghost asked as Tass fell through blinking, much like a newborn kitten. The the rotting mattress. squeak was definitely kitten like. The Cheshire stretched out her neck to sniff a “By summoning cranky old women like little closer. The dust from the nesting you to scare the children.” Tass snapped material caused the cat to sneeze profusely. rubbing her bruised bottom. The blanket The ugly kitten started to thrash in its and sheets little more than dust held bedding throwing soft not plant things together by cobwebs. around in agitation. The Cheshire looked for tails and ears. The ears were deformed Madile snorted as she drifted closer to and the tail nonexistent. The Cheshire the blond necromancer. “You’re going to shook her head in pity, before wandering need a few more things than this sorry bag out to explore more of the odd ugly kitten’s of clothing if you want to make a living here.” Tass glared up at the ghost through the

den. The boys were less than ten months apart, both 19. Joshin looked more like “What in a nova’s corona is that?!” Tass their mother, short dark skinned with squeaked. The feline head had a smile that amber eyes, broad in the shoulders but almost reached her ears with sharp pointy Joshin was still underweight by a good 40 teeth filling the mouth from end to end. The lbs. Miok took after their father. Tall blond, long blue striped animal sneezed and wiry. He too needed to fill in the hollows turned back around with no more than a that muscular definition showed off, little of glance at Tass and a shake of its head. what he had was padding. The way the boys ate though you had to wonder where they “Eh, That’s the Cheshire that lives here. put the food if not into muscle. Easy going enough, helps take down the frog population.” Madile said dismissively. “Hollow legs.” Was all their laconic “As long as you don’t mess with her kittens father would say. Their mom had a few she’ll leave you alone. Feed the damn things more choice words, sharp but was always and you’ll never get rid of them or able to with affection. keep chickens.” “Let’s go!” Joshin grabbed a helmet “I knew they were big but that was… But from the rack tossing one to his brother and it won’t bite or attack?” Tass stood slowly grabbing the second for himself. Their dirt gathering the clothes she wore for warmth bikes were respectable only in the sense the that were now scattered. frames were metal and the solar charges un-cracked. Everything was jury rigged and “Mess with its food and children, it will. hand built, with raw welded seams and Give it room and it will clear out the small dents in weird places from dropped varmints you’ll have running around.” hammers or tractor jacks. The farm did well Madile said slowly as if to a young child. with selling exotic flowers, but their father insisted the boys know how to build “Ok.” Tass was skeptical but ghosts anything from scratch first before asking for didn’t lie to her. She laid back down trying the latest gadgets. to gather sleep around her, but the morning light was already creeping in through the The boys had become self-reliant in window. many ways. Miok had built their home computer system from parts bought in town “Hey, Miok! Going to see the new owner while Joshin got the equipment and of the old Madile place. Want to come sprinklers working no matter how corroded with?” Joshin asked his pale skinned blond in rust the original scrap-yard pieces were. brother. Their parents loved their dedication but Miok put down the hoe, considering the despaired that neither had the love for rows done, weighing his options carefully. farming their dad did. Those in town were Mom would bust his ass if the work weren’t want to joke that Kivans could put a twig in done but his dad was a little more laid back. the dirt and have a forest ready for harvest “If we’re back before sunset so I can get the in two months, while his wife Mia was the last three rows done, sure.” He said with a brains behind the business, getting the best shrug of a wiry shoulder. Joshin laughed at contracts for their floral and hemp his ship twin brother.

harvests. Mia may have been a Dancer for nothing. No ghosts in your family. You three seasons, but her true calling was must be new.” riding herd on her husband and two boys while keeping the business running “Our family came out here with my smoothly. mom’s stake from the Dance with my dad a few years back,” Miok said proudly. Miok could hear the voices as they hit the rarely used washed out gravel and dirt “She a necro?” the blond asked. road the closer they got to old Madile’s “Warrior.” The girl cringed slightly at place. A murmur at first, that grew into a this but held her stance. muted conversation drawing him in. He “I see your brother.” Madile snapped didn’t remember standing his bike up or with pale pursed lips. “Dark as night.” walking into the house. He walked into a “He takes after her.” conversation between old Madile and a “You?” living petite blond girl. “My dad and I could have been twins at this age.” “No, I don’t want to keep the walls Madile humphed but said nothing more. completely closed in. We need light in “Brother? I don’t see anyone here but here.” The blonde was saying crossly to the Miok.” The girl said irritably, trying to ghost of an old woman. brush hair out of her eyes, pushing more plaster into sweat soaked hair. “You’re going to knock out supporting “Joshin.” Miok turned to look behind walls.” The ghost was pointing at walls him. He didn’t see his brother either. “He where three zombies stood with was right behind me.” sledgehammers. “He’s trying to get your attention,” Madile said. “Well, he was. He’s gone off “Arches and windows are what this place now.” needs!” “Why would he leave?” Miok was mildly concerned, though not enough to leave. “Not with those damn frogs around! “Kids. Who knows.” Madile turned back You’ll have them through those ground to the blond. “Ok girl. You can have the windows in quicksand minute.” windows but you have to have something over them or you’ll be dead in a weeks time “Look, old woman…” once the frogs figure out there is something “She’s right,” Miok said interrupting the young and tasty here!” living woman and the ghost. “The frogs will “I have double paned security class. come through the lower windows looking Nothing less than a 6-inch disc from a for fresh meat. Which would be you.” railgun, that are ONLY supported by The blond glared at him, covered in dust Guardian vehicles, is getting through that,” and plaster, gripping a crowbar tightly she said click her teeth together, chewing between two bleeding white knuckled fists. her words. “And who are you, boy, to be telling us “What the hell do you need glass that how to do this?” Madile asked, her voice thick for? Expecting a God through those waspish at being interrupted. windows?” the ghost rolled her eyes at the “I’m Miok. I live down the road a bit.” Miok said, waving a hand towards home’s general direction. The ghost tilted her head. “I don’t hear

girl. ethereal hands together. “Exactly, and I “Yes. This area is rife with the dead from grew the best when alive.” the first settlement. Not human and void “Hence co-operative.” The girl said raping stronger than any human dead rolling her eyes. “There will be windows around.” the blonde said with exasperation, and the frogs will be dealt with as they putting a hand on hip, gesturing with the come.” crowbar. “My nightmares could possibly raise one and I wanted to make sure any “You going Hunting?” windows would hold up to them trying to “Nope. Dancing. All these bodies around get through!” here can be raised to hunt ‘em if they decide to come to me.” “Why do you want windows then, you “Now that’s what I like to hear. Damn need metal walls?!” The two circled back to frogs use to take up more time trying to stylized difference. defend the house then all the farming put together. Put your windows in girl and keep “For light during the day and I want to the dead close!” Madile cackled rubbing see the stars at night! Now let me get the long dead hands together energetically. windows into place old woman.” The Miok was going to say more when he exasperation was palatable with exchanged was violently pulled out of dead space by glares. two fingers and a thumb on his wrist. “You know Madile is dead, right? You Joshin watched his brother put the bike’s could just tell her to butt out.” Miok said kickstand down and walk into the house as watching the two verbally spar with a if he owned it. No knocking, no calling who fascination. he was. “She needs me willing to work with her. “Miok! We don’t live here you can’t just And telling me to go hang won’t get her the walk in like that.” information she really wants.” The ghost was smug, crossing smoky outlined arms Miok ignored him letting the door close over an ample if just as smoky bosom. behind him on rusted screeching springs. Joshin followed him in. The interior of the “She’s a necro. She can make you do house was as messy as the exterior. anything.” It was Miok’s turn to roll his Zombies had pulled down the siding with eyes. windows partially pulled out connected only by the bottom sill, with more zombies “She can make me do anything true but still holding the windows in. There were information can be held back to really fuck nine zombies that Joshin counted in the up a person or an expedition. In this case living room. All had stopped. The living farming, the girl here has never gotten her room smelled of plaster, dirt and old hands buried in dirt before.” leather. The blond looked at the ghost sourly. “I Miok stopped a few feet from a petite need her willing to help me farm this place blond. Like the zombies, Miok didn’t move. for Kopi berries.” He breathed and stared at a space midway between the kitchen and the living room. Miok whistled. “Kopi berries are like finding gold nuggets in frog shit. Rare and dangerously hard to get.” The old ghost cackled rubbing her

“Miok!” Joshin yelled, then snapped frown, fingers in front of his brother’s eyes. Miok Mia looked towards the sound, making didn’t track Joshin’s fingers or anything else. “What the hell brother.” Joshin out the dust covered figure. “That’s our slapped his brother once, then again. The son!” same results as snapping fingers. Nothing. “Not both?” Kivans looked past the one “Dead lost.” Joshin breathed, adrenaline bike waiting for the other bike to appear at spiking along his skin making his heart the end of the street. race. “Damn it. Now I’m going to have to get mom and she’s going to skin us both “No.” They both turned towards the alive!” racing bike down the main street waiting. Mia felt a knot of fear in her belly draw Joshin ran for his bike watching the tight. The boys never went anywhere setting sun. He didn’t think the frogs would without the other. be out tonight, but he had to get his mom before nightfall either way. He wasn’t going The bike squealed to a stop next to to leave his brother lost talking to the dead them. “Joshin! What the…” Kivans started in an unprotected house. on a blistering reprimand. Mia’s dark skin was a deep blue black with “Mom! Miok is at Madile’s old place. hues of purple in the afternoon soon, Dead lost. I can’t wake him!” Joshin stared contrasting against her husband’s pale at his mother, frantically, talking over his arms. She stared up into his eyes with a dad. lingering smile. Mia and Kivans exchanged glances. She “What are you laughing at woman?” handed her husband the mail and the full Kivans, said with a smile, looking deeply hemp woven grocery bag. “Get to the house into her eyes. and bring the guns. I’m not going to make it to Madile’s place before nightfall.” “That I caught myself the best man out there.” She teased, kissing him. Kivans nodded, understanding. They’d had a few run ins with a couple of frog He savored that kiss, turning pink along hunting parties in the past few weeks. The his cheeks. “Flattery will get you frog bodies had taken two days to burn. everything.” was all he said, pulling her Luckily their neighbors were in the same close. boat but the stench lingered still. Night was their prime time, and summer their most “And the truth?” Mia asked tilting her active as they gathered food for the winter. head coquettishly. She swung up behind Joshin. “Go.” “Even more!” He pulled her in for “Helmet?” another kiss. “Now child!” She snapped, poking him in the ribs, with enough force he’d have a A racing motorbike was heard in the bruise on his dark skin tomorrow. “Just background at the edge of the city as the don’t wreck us and we’ll be good.” bike shifted down hard, grinding gears. The sun was setting fast. Joshin took the dirt and gravel roads at an almost reckless “Someone’s looking to break their bike speed. He didn’t dare cut across the fields. with that kind of abuse,” Kivans said, To many ditches hidden by thigh high breaking off from kissing his wife, with a

weeds, sometimes spiked by the frogs for “Damn it, boy. You weren’t supposed to unwary prey driven into their traps. be able to talk to the dead!” Mia vented into the empty air. She stepped on the safe side They got to Madile’s house just as the of her son, taking his wrist between the first last liquid gold of the sun fell below the two fingers of her hand and thumb. horizon. The air hot and heavy from the Counting with his pulse she pressed hard day, giving only a slight promise with a every other beat. He didn’t come out of the breeze for a cooler evening. thrall. She wrapped her hand around his wrist, taking the more direct approach and Joshin skidded his bike along the gravel more dangerous, yanking him off his feet road, bracing with one booted foot. The and into her body. action violent enough to startled the purple and blue Cheshire from her spot in the front Joshin hadn’t been prepared for being yard tree. The cat bounded into the high stuck in a death loop nor for seeing his grass at this noisy invasion, growling in mother next to him. The living room protest at the intrusion of her territory. gathered shadows as daylight faded. Mia jumped off from behind. Not as “Mom? What...time is it?” flexible as when she was a Dancer but still “We’re leaving now.” Mia pulled on her athletic enough to vault from the back of son. They both heard something like the pieced together bike, bounding up the thunder but wasn’t getting closer. Frog stairs, shouting over her shoulder “Grab drums. anything you can swing just in case we have “No! We can’t leave the girl.” He turned a hunting party incoming!” back to Tass reaching for her. Mia slapped his hand away hard. Joshin parked the bike on the side of the “Mom! What the space was that for?” He house then pulled Miok’s there. He cradled his hand, now red from her slap, to scrounged for usable weapons, finding 3- his chest. The zombies turned to look at the inch metal poles six feet long. He flexed the mother and her son. The motion not wasted rusted pole testing on Mia. “Never try to yank a necro out of a death for weakness. The pole bent but didn’t loop if you aren’t trained.” She said through break. No telling how old but it would do gritted teeth. “Go stand by the door. No, for a polearm. Another pole broke into two matter what do NOT interrupt!” pieces. These pieces his mother could use. Mia sat on her knees, her lips moving in She could use a blade of grass and a twig a prayer to the Death. She reached a hand and come out ahead of anyone he knew in a up to cradle the girl’s limp wrist in a gentle fight, Miok thought wryly. grip. The zombies didn’t move towards her or Joshin. Mia tightened her grip. Pulsing “Joshin! Joshin!” Mia called for her with the girl’s heartbeat. The zombies oldest son as she rushed through the screen moved towards them. door. She saw the zombies, motionless and “Come on girl! Wake out of it!” Mia kept waiting then her son next to Tass. She her voice light, a bead of sweat rolled down skidded to a halt. Both her son and the her forehead. The zombies took a step necromancer were looking at a point in the living room. Both breathed slowly and steadily, blinking every other minute. Dead stuck.

towards Mia then another. The drums were Drums cut across the conversation. getting louder, closer. Close, sharp, reverberating along Tass’ skin. “Wake up!” Mia hissed. “Space!” Joshin swore, tossing his Tass blinked, then blinked again. The mother the broken end of the rebar. The zombies stopped mid stride. Two fell over. other one he kept for himself. There was a Tass flinched but only said “I’m here.” to sputtering roar distant in the background. the kneeling woman. “About time, girl!” Mia stood with a “Your father’s here, which will even out stretch, popping her neck. “We got other the odds a little,” Mia said grimly, facing the things to do now that you're out of dead open window frames. suck! Them frogs will be headin’ over so get your zombies on perimeter duty. Now girl! A long sinuous shape grumbled her way Hustle!” in. All four of the living turned to look at the Tass just stared at the woman. “Who are Cheshire cat that slunk in. The cat glared at you? And why are you here?” the four humans as if they were responsible “The frogs are coming, girl.” Mia put her for the influx of frogs. She let out a hiss, hands on her hips, giving a slight shake of before sauntering up the wide stairs. her head at the former Dancer. Miok stepped forward noting Tass’ The four looked at each other, then at discomfort. “Mom, this is Tass. The the retreating cat. necromancer who bought Madile’s old farm.” Miok turned to Tass. “Tass, I’d like “I think she’s got the right idea,” Tass you to meet my mother. She was a said. Dancer…” Recognition dawned in Tass’s face. She “Up, up!” Mia said making a shooing sucked in a breath, speaking in a husky motion to the three. “Girl. Tass, you got the voice. “She Danced over 20 years ago with undead around the house?” the best knife throwing record and hamstringing to ever survive. An inside “I’ll need a moment to pull a few more.” fighter.” Tass said, holding out her hand “We’ll give you the time. Make sure they slowly to the other woman. know to take the heads or the damn Mia’s lips twitched. “You weren’t alive things’ll regenerate everything else.” back then to watch me Dance.” Tass let her eyes glaze over slightly “My brothers watched your old fights. “feeling” with a light touch for the undead. Every inside fighter studies your moves. In an unconscious gesture from her days on And if you’re a fighter counting on range to the Sands, she stuck out her left hand, keep you safe, you study how to keep the reaching for her twin. Miok responded by inside fighters outside of their range and at reaching for her hand when Mia yanked it your own.” down. Mia flashed a wide smile. “Good to “No. You’re not trained and this ain’t a know, these old bones contributed training session.” Mia looked him square in something.” the eye. “Later the girl can teach you how to pull the dead or anything else but not tonight.” “Yes, mom.” Was all Miok said looking between her and Tass, though the burning curiosity couldn’t be hidden behind his pale honey brown eyes.

Tass pulled the close ones. There all could hear and see, with Tass were four more in the graveyard that flexing her necromancy. responded and another two outside of the house graveyard. These two wanted “You know them?” Mia asked. “They to fight. Their souls hadn’t moved on have been missing for over 62 years.” and they hated still, ready for violence. Tass bound them tightly to her will not “Know them? Child, I put them in letting them stray from her command. those graves for a ship raping reason.” The others were non-ensouled bodies, Madile snorted. “They’ll make good needing only her directions frog killers.” “Ahh. I see you found the Miller Mia gave the ghost a shocked look twins.” Madile said, ghostly pale that but went back to the windows. Tass felt something else. A stirring of something large. Like the dangerous twins, this one also felt ensouled. Emotions whispered in a death wrapped sleep. The strongest being hunger, not hate, though depending on what it was hungry for, the distinction could be minimal. Tass pulled back her summons from that...one. She felt a slight questioning twinge as it sleepily settled back into the dark. “I’ve pulled all I can,” Tass said turning back to her unusual fighting team. “Girl, I hope you’re as good here as you were on the sands.” Mia growled, “Those frogs are coming and it looks like they have their whole village.” “How many?” “Over 80 plus warriors with another 200 for cleaning and gleaning.” Tass gave Mia a wide smile. “Give me some bodies and I’ll add them to my collection. We’ve got this!” Mia shook her head praying to the Gods that the girl hadn’t gone insane already.



precise, this question had nagged me ever over and over again. How would that feel? since I entered medical school, but it came How would it feel, to be immortal? How into sharper focus by the time the speech was would it feel to live for 800 years, 1200 years, over. The question I wanted to but didn’t ask or even more? How would it feel to be the distinguished professor was: what is the married to the same person for 200 years, ultimate goal of medical care? What is the 400 years, or maybe even more? It would be ultimate goal of the medical profession? Is great, wouldn’t it? Wouldn’t it? the goal to prolong life? If humans didn’t die from cardiac diseases, as the professor And friends - if old friends, like old wine, wanted, what would we die from? Would we became better with age, we are talking serious all die from cancer? I could imagine the vintage here. Humans have had quite a time friendly oncologist sitting next to me erupting since the industrial revolution. Our social at the idea. Cancer - surely not! She would fabric and moral underpinnings have been conquer cancer just as the cardiologist would severely strained by the advances in surmount cardiac disease. And the infectious technology and science. Just within the last disease specialist sitting next to her would two centuries, life expectancy has doubled, feel the same way about AIDS and other with all sorts of unforeseen consequences. infections plaguing humanity. Elder abuses, abandonment, bankruptcy, nursing homes - these concepts are not So, by the time all specialties had their entirely new and we are still struggling with say, in a few decades, we would have them. What kind of consequences would conquered death. We would be immortal. immortality affect it? How well would we And then what? Would we be happy and adapt to it? peaceful as a species? Would there be no more sorrow or strife? Lots of sickness, but My reverie was interrupted by some no death. It would be bad for the undertakers prosaic and practical concerns - who and but great for everyone else. what would pay for my immortality? Let’s say I had retired around age 100 and had been Or would it? living for the past 50 years off my savings. I began to imagine what it would be like to Those savings would have gone by the end of be immortal. I would wake up in the 50 years. The government would have to step mornings at age, let’s say, 150, and know that in, but deficit spending for over a hundred for the rest of my life, I’d do the same thing years would have wiped out Social Security over and over again. Wait a minute - what do and its ability to sustain my eternal youth. It I mean rest of my life - I should say eternity, would have asked me to go back to work. shouldn’t I? Rewind, replay - I would wake up at age, Go back to work? At age 150? But, without let’s say, 150, and know that for eternity, I’d a choice, I would have to do society’s bidding. do the same thing over and over again. After Subconsciously, I would even have to agree - all, even Earth, with all its attractions, could after all, the concept of retirement couldn’t not provide surprises to a person forever. So, exist if one is to live forever. One could switch after having explored all entertaining avenues and change professions, but not retire. and vistas for the past 50 years, I would begin However; it wouldn’t be easy since I would to go bored. And look forward to spending have to compete with those a hundred years eternity doing more or less the same things younger than me. After all, experience beyond a certain level doesn’t help - the law

of diminishing returns. In addition, And to that, we have to add the problems companies wouldn’t hire me since they would between countries. Declining birth rates in have to spend a lot on my health care. European countries and Japan have already led to an immigration influx from so-called You see, eternity does not come cheap. I developing countries. In addition, the would have to go for regular check-ups, and growing economic prowess of countries such when a problem was discovered, a new organ as China, Korea, Brazil over the decades would have to be ordered. Using my would have left the old order of rich pluripotential stem cells, a new organ would European oriented countries dominating the be grown and the old one replaced with the planet in tatters. In a hundred years, new one. If the problem were multi-organ, Mandarin would be as commonly spoken at gene therapy or stem cell therapy would take airports in London as English is today. And care of the problem. The downside - with growing economic might, the struggle individualized medicine, while effective, for those precious resources would only would be very expensive. Unlike intensify. pharmaceuticals today, where drugs are relatively cheap since they are mass-produced Finally, I wonder about the spiritual like Ford Model T, the law of scales would not aspects of immortality. All religions apply. Politicians complaining about the cost emphasize that at some stage, a person has to of medicines now would be speechless at face the consequences of her/his actions. expensive health care in a few hundred years. Whether that is at the Pearly Gates or through the dual principle of Another problem I would face is Karma/Dharma, this fear or factor plays a resources. The planet has limited resources - vital part in maintaining social cohesion. water, land, room for garbage disposal, etc. Without it, society may find that policemen For example, it is said that the next war in the may not be enough to maintain law and Middle East will be over water, not religion. order. After all, if a person didn’t ever have to Given these constraints, with so many face his/her Lord/Dharma, wouldn’t the 10 eternals roaming around, there would be a Commandments and Karmic principles lose severe crunch on those resources. The their relevance? population would have quadrupled, while water and land would not. This would mean Still want immortality? sky-high prices for houses, traffic jams, So, I gave up on clinical medicine and rationing of water (maybe an hour a day) and chose an alternative career, building expensive food. Perhaps we would all be companies and becoming a writer. No vegetarians since most species would have immortality for me. become extinct due to human encroachment of their habitats. Add to that the resentment between age groups, the fight for limited resources and society would begin to look a bit ragged. Similar conflicts in the past led to population migrations and the discovery of new continents. Colonizing space, by contrast, is easier described in sci-fi novels than in reality.