Stories of Breaking Free Haggadah - booklet print version

Stories of Breaking Free A Virtual Women’s Seder March 24, 2021 Written & Compiled by Cantor Melanie Blatt, Lisa Del Sesto & Melissa Seltzer Seder and Song Leader: Cantor Melanie Blatt

Stories of Breaking Free: A Virtual Women’s Seder features stories from Crossing Our Red Sea, originally created and produced by The Braid (formerly Jewish Women’s Theatre) as part of its Salon Theatre season in March 2018 and directed by Eve Brandstein. Material was curated and adapted by Ronda Spinak. Zoom performance directed by Susan Morgenstern. For more information visit the-braid.org. 1

We would like to thank all of our participating partners Bender JCC of Greater Washington | Rockville, MD Boulder JCC | Boulder, CO David Posnack JCC | Fort Lauderdale, FL JCC of Greater Baltimore | Baltimore, MD Mandell JCC of Greater Hartford | West Hartford, CT Pozez JCC of Northern Virginia | Fairfax, VA Shimon and Sara Birnbaum JCC | Bridgewater, NJ Sid Jacobson JCC | East Hill, NY Siegel JCC | Wilmington, DE Simon Family JCC | Virginia Beach, VA The Bender JCC would like to extend a special thank you to Lois Alperstein for her continued generosity in sponsoring the annual Women’s Seder. 2

Table of Contents Introduction..........................................................................................................4 Lighting the Candles...........................................................................................5 Building Your Mental Health Passover Seder Plate..........................................5 The Braid: Beit Din.............................................................................................8 Kadesh (sanctification)........................................................................................8 The First Glass of Wine.......................................................................................9 Karpas (dipping the greens)..............................................................................12 The Braid: From Slavery to Freedom...............................................................13 Maggid (telling the story).................................................................................13 The Heroic and Visionary Women of Passover............................................13 The Four Questions........................................................................................16 The Four Daughters........................................................................................17 The Braid: The Third Plague.........................................................................20 The Ten Plagues.............................................................................................20 The Braid: Dayenu Remix.............................................................................20 Dayenu............................................................................................................20 The Second Glass of Wine................................................................................21 Maror (bitter herb)............................................................................................21 Korech (Hillel’s sandwich)...............................................................................21 The Braid: Am-ree-kah.....................................................................................24 The Third Glass of Wine...................................................................................24 Ruth’s Cup: A New Passover Ritual Celebrating Jewish Diversity.............24 The Braid: Indecent Sexposure.........................................................................25 Hallel (songs of praise).....................................................................................25 The Fourth Glass of Wine.................................................................................25 Nirtzah (conclusion)........................................................................................ 26 3

Introduction A Year Like No Other This year we were reminded that suffering is not equal. We saw On Passover we ask, “Why is this communities ravaged by the virus night different from all other nights?” and its impact. We bore witness to This year we consider, “How was this enormous racial and socioeconomic year different from all other years?” disparities. We watched as the safety and security of so many were This year we did not gather with threatened. After a year like no other family and friends. This year our we must remember that we too have a homes were offices, classrooms, voice and a responsibility to project it. playgrounds, and meeting rooms. This year it was harder than ever to create Passover ushers in new beginnings. balance in our lives. To separate the Like the season from which it springs, professional from the personal. We it teaches us that hope blossoms and struggled to find a reprieve from the change blooms. We must seize the chaos outside that now too lived in offer of freedom and abandon the our homes. After a year like no other narrow places that hold us captive. we remember that self-care is vital After a year like no other, we must and mental wellness is a necessary honor the lessons of Passover and priority. venture into the light. When day comes, we step out of the shade, aflame and unafraid. The new dawn blooms as we free it. For there is always light, if only we’re brave enough to see it. If only we’re brave enough to be it. — Amanda Gorman 4 Stori

Lighting The Candles Blessed is the light in the world. Blessed is the light within humanity. Blessed is the light of Passover. Building Your Mental Health Passover Seder Plate 5

Blessed is the match consumed in kindling flame. Blessed is the flame that burns in the secret fastness of the heart. Blessed is the heart with strength to stop its beating for honor’s sake. Blessed is the match consumed in kindling flame. ― Hannah Szenes Just as the symbols on the Seder plate keep us engaged with the story of Passover, each of us has self-care tools that keep us engaged with our mental health. Self-care refers to ways we attend to our mental, emotional, physical and spiritual well-being. The more of these tools we have, the better prepared we are for days when we are at our most vulnerable. We can use Passover as a time to stop and reflect not only on the Exodus story, but on our own mental health. On those difficult days when we feel stuck in a metaphorical Egypt, this mental health Seder plate can offer us inner peace. Source: The Blue Dove Foundation 6

Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement. ― Golda Meir 7

The Braid: Beit Din Written By M.A. Hosein. Performed By Nadège August And Kate Zental Kadesh (sanctification) Four Promises of Redemption 1. I will bring you out from the suffering of Egypt 2. I will save you from enslavement 3. I will deliver you 4. I will take you for me as a Nation, and I will be for you, the Lord (Ex. 6:6-7) Consider your own four promises of redemption. The past year has greatly embodied the idea of mitzrayim or narrow places. So too though have there been silver linings, unexpected brightness, incredible acts of kindness. Below, write four lessons from the pandemic that you want to carry with you. 1. __________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________ 2. __________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________ 3. __________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________ 4. __________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________ 8

The First Glass of Wine The legends of our Rabbinic sages from an empty cup.” So often we teach us that a miraculous well of prioritize our own self-care only healing waters accompanied the after helping everyone else first. children of Israel throughout their Work comes first. Family comes journey in the desert, providing first. Friends come first. We leave them with water. This well was no time to tend to ourselves. given to Miriam, the prophetess, to honor her bravery and devotion In lieu of the traditional first glass to the Jewish people. According of wine, we fill Miriam’s cup to the legend, both Miriam and and give ourselves permission her well provided comfort and to fill our own cups. To choose gave our forbearers the faith ourselves. To find the light within and confidence to overcome the us and the light around us and hardships of the Exodus. channel it. Throughout this Seder find ways to champion yourself Inspired by Miriam’s well we are and continue to fill Miriam’s cup reminded of a self-care teaching until you feel your own cup is full. which tells us “you cannot pour 1 Baruch atah, Adonai Eloheinu, Melech haolam, borei p’ri hagafen. Bountiful with blessing are You, Adonai our God, Ruler of the world, Creator of the fruit of the vine. Baruch atah, Adonai m’kadeish Yisrael v’hazmanim. Blessed are You, Adonai, who sanctifies Israel and the Festivals. 9

You have to find what sparks a light in you so that you in your own way can illuminate the world. — Oprah Winfrey 10

Come with me, my love, come away For the long wet months are past, the rains have fed the earth and left it bright with blossoms Birds wing in the low sky, dove and songbird singing in the open air above Earth nourishing tree and vine, green fig and tender grape, green and tender fragrance Come with me, my love, come away — The Song of Songs, Translated by Marcia Falk 11

Karpas (dipping the greens) Long before the struggle upward begins, there is tremor in the seed. Self-protection cracks, roots reach down and grab hold. The seed swells, and tender shoots push up toward light. This is karpas: spring awakening, growth. A force so tough it can break stone. Why do we dip karpas into salt water? At the beginning of this season of rebirth and growth, we recall the tears of our ancestors in bondage. And why should salt water be touched by karpas? To remind us that tears stop. Even after pain, spring comes. Baruch Atah Adonai, Eloheinu melech ha’olam, borei p’ri ha’adamah. Blessed are You, Adonai, our God, Ruler of the universe, who creates the fruit of the earth. 12

The Braid: From Slavery To Freedom Written By Deborah Silver. Performed By Kate Zentall Maggid (telling the story) The Heroic And Visionary Women Of Passover By Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Rabbi Lauren Holzblatt On Passover, Jews are commanded to tell Finally, there is Pharaoh’s daughter Batya, the story of the Exodus and to see ourselves who defies her own father and plucks baby as having lived through that story, so that Moses out of the Nile. The Midrash reminds we may better learn how to live our lives us that Batya knew exactly what she doing: today. The stories we tell our children shape what they believe to be possible—which is When Pharaoh’s daughter’s handmaidens why at Passover, we must tell the stories of saw that she intended to rescue Moses, they the women who played a crucial role in the attempted to dissuade her, and persuade her Exodus narrative. to heed her father. They said to her: “Our mistress, it is the way of the world that when The Book of Exodus, much like the Book a king issues a decree, it is not heeded by of Genesis, opens in pervasive darkness. the entire world, but his children and the Genesis describes the earth as “unformed members of his household do observe it, and and void, with darkness over the surface of you wish to transgress your father’s decree?”³ the deep.”¹ In Exodus, darkness attends the accession of a new Pharaoh who feared the But transgress she did. Israelites and so enslaved them. God alone lights the way out of the darkness in Genesis. These women had a vision leading out of the But in Exodus, God has many partners; first darkness shrouding their world. They were among them, five brave women. women of action, prepared to defy authority to make their vision a reality bathed in the light of the day. There is Yocheved, Moses’ mother, and Retelling the heroic stories of Yocheved, Shifra and Puah, the famous midwives. Each Shifra, Puah, Miriam and Batya reminds our defies Pharaoh’s decree to kill the Israelite daughters that with vision and the courage baby boys. And there is Miriam, Moses’ to act, they can carry forward the tradition sister, about whom the following midrash is those intrepid women launched. taught: While there is much light in today’s world, [When Miriam’s only brother was Aaron] there remains in our universe disheartening she prophesied… “my mother is destined darkness, inhumanity spawned by ignorance to bear a son who will save Israel.” When and hate. We see horrific examples in [Moses] was born the whole house… the Middle East, parts of Africa, and the filled with light[.] [Miriam’s] father arose Ukraine. The Passover story recalls to all of and kissed her on the head, saying, “My us—women and men—that with vision and daughter, your prophecy has been fulfilled.” action we can join hands with others of like But when they threw [Moses] into the river mind, kindling lights along paths leading out her father tapped her on the head saying, of the terrifying darkness. “Daughter, where is your prophecy?” So it _________________________________ is written, “And [Miriam] stood afar off to know what would be[come of] the latter part ¹Genesis 1:2 of her prophecy.”² ²Babylonian Talmud, Megillah 14a ³Babylonian Talmud, Sotah 12b 13

Real change, enduring change, happens one step at a time. ― Ruth Bader Ginsburg 14

Can we be humble enough to admit when we do not know something, rather than pretending to have the answer? Can we be gracious enough to answer someone’s question without shaming them for not knowing? Can we be brave enough to inquire within, and ask ourselves our own hard questions? Can we open our hearts to the love that wants to come in, if only we will release our clever defenses? 15

The Four Questions 1. At all other Seders, our minds can be full of stressful anticipation, whether we are surrounded by our nearest and dearest, our friends, or complete strangers. Tonight, may we enjoy a calming and empowering evening surrounded by our “sisters.” 2. At all other Seders, we can be concerned about food. Have we eaten too much? Too little? Was the food tasty? Was it too heavy? Was there not enough? Tonight, may we all be free of food and body consciousness, anxieties, and insecurities. 3. At all other Seders, we read of the heroic struggles and soul-searching of our forebearers as they left Egypt. Tonight, we will consider our personal acts of heroism as we struggle to break free from the shackles which imprison us and celebrate the many heroines in our daily lives. 4. We encourage you to ask four questions of your own. Ask anything. Ask questions of yourselves and of each other. Write your questions here 1. __________________________________________________________ 2. __________________________________________________________ 3. __________________________________________________________ 4. __________________________________________________________ 16

The Four Daughters Around our tables sit four daughters Simple Daughter The Simple daughter is the one who Wise Daughter accepts what she is given without The Wise daughter understands that asking for more. not everything is as it appears. She is the one who trusts easily and She is the one who speaks up, believes what she is told. She is the confident that her opinion counts. She one who prefers waiting and watching is the one who can take the tradition over seeking and acting. She is the one and ritual that is placed before her, who believes that the redemption from turn it over and over, and find personal Egypt was the final act of freedom. meaning in it. She is the one who can She is the one who follows in the find the secrets in the empty spaces footsteps of others. between the letters of the Torah. Some call her simple and naive. We She is the one who claims a place for call her the one whose eyes are yet to herself even if the men do not make be opened. We welcome the contented room for her. one to sit with us at our tables and appreciate what is still to come. Some call her wise and accepting. We call her creative and assertive. We Daughter Who Does Not Know welcome creativity and assertiveness How to Ask to sit with us at our tables and inspire Last is the daughter who does not us to act. know how to ask. Wicked Daughter She is one who obeys and does not The Wicked daughter is the one who question. She is the one who has dares to challenge the simplistic accepted men’s definitions of the answers she has been given. world. She is the one who has not found her own voice. She is the one She is the one who asks too many who is content to be invisible. questions. She is the one not content to remain in her prescribed place. She Some call her subservient and is the one who breaks the mold. She is oppressed. We call her our sister. We the one who challenges the status quo. welcome the silent one to sit with us at our tables and experience a Some call her wicked and rebellious. community that welcomes the voices We call her daring and courageous. of women. We welcome rebellion to sit with us at our tables and make us uneasy. Source: JWA / Jewish Boston - The Wandering Is Over Haggadah; Including Women’s Voices 17

There’s power in allowing yourself to be known and heard, in owning your unique story, in using your authentic voice. ― Michelle Obama 18

Each time a woman stands up for herself, without knowing it possibly, without claiming it, she stands up for all women. ― Maya Angelou 19

The Braid: The Third Plague Written by Renee Moilanen. Performed by Tiffany Mualem. The Ten Plagues The ten plagues were inflicted upon the Egyptians. Tradition dictates that we spill a drop of wine in remembrance of their suffering. At this point in the Seder we take time to acknowledge the suffering of others. What are ten plagues you witnessed this year? 1. __________________________________________________________ 2. __________________________________________________________ 3. __________________________________________________________ 4. __________________________________________________________ 5. __________________________________________________________ 6. __________________________________________________________ 7.__________________________________________________________ 8. __________________________________________________________ 9. __________________________________________________________ 10. _________________________________________________________ The Braid: Dayenu Remix Written by Shawn Goodman. Performed by Tiffany Mualem and ensemble. Dayenu You, in all of your holiness and splendor are enough. What is enough for you? When is it enough already? _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ 20

The Second Glass of Wine We dedicate the second glass of wine to Deborah the Prophetess. Jewish women for generations have seen Deborah 2 as the female prophetess who best represents the values of a new female soul. She was the Judge of Israel who held the community together during struggles, adjudicated the disputes of her community with fairness and justice, a leader of prayer, and a vision-seeker who knew what was hidden to others. Because of this it is fitting that we choose to honor her at our Seder, with hope that her strengths lift us up. Baruch atah, Adonai Eloheinu, Melech haolam, borei p’ri hagafen. Bountiful with blessing are You, Adonai our God, Ruler of the world, Creator of the fruit of the vine. Maror (bitter herb) The past year has been hard. We experienced unforeseen and unprecedented challenges. Even now these challenges continue and as we move into the future the struggle continues. Sometimes life is just hard. And all we can do is allow for that hardness. All we can do is eat the bitter herb. Baruch Atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech ha-olam, asher kid’shanu b’mitzvotav v’tzivanu al achilat maror. Bountiful with blessing are You, Adonai our God, Ruler of the world, who has sanctified us with His laws and commanded us to eat bitter herbs. Korech (Hillel’s sandwich) Perspective. Hillel’s sandwich offers an opportunity for a new perspective. In the midst of bitterness and struggle, something sweet. A different vantage point, an as of yet unnoticed silver lining, a sliver of light, a break in the clouds. When we add the charoset to the bitter herb we are reminded that sometimes all we need is a fresh perspective. 21

Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained. ― Marie Curie 22

I am not free while any woman is unfree, even when her shackles are very different from my own. — Audre Lorde Consider a time when you felt like an outsider but were actively welcomed into a new community or space. How did that happen? How did it make you feel? 23

The Braid: Am-ree-kah Adapted from the Genetic Jitters, a Memoir Written by Esther Amini. Performed by Kate Zentall. The Third Glass of Wine Ruth’s Cup: A New Passover Ritual Celebrating Jewish Diversity by Rabbi Heidi Hoover Mitzrayim, the Hebrew word for “Wherever you go, I will go; wherever Egypt, is also interpreted to mean you lodge, I will lodge; your people “narrow places.” At Passover, we shall be my people, and your God my celebrate being released from the God” (Ruth 1:16), she is considered the restrictions that limit us and make our prototypical convert to Judaism. Ruth lives smaller. We are not fully free as becomes the great-grandmother of long as we are kept down by attitudes King David, from whom our tradition and conditions that are unjust. says the Messiah will descend. Many Jews assume that “real Jews” We dedicate the third glass of wine look a certain way and have one path to Ruth, the first Jew by choice and to Judaism — being born Jewish. great-grandmother of King David. We When confronted with Jews who open the door to signify our welcome don’t fit these stereotypes, even well- of Ruth and all who follow in her meaning Jews may treat them as less footsteps—those who become part of Jewish. Jews of color and/or those who our people, part of our diversity. have converted to Judaism find that other Jews can act insensitively out of We declare that we do not have to wait ignorance. for the Messianic age to make sure that every Jew feels fully comfortable and In the biblical book that bears her integrated into our people, no matter name, Ruth is a Moabite who marries what their skin, hair or eye color is; no an Israelite living in Moab. After matter what their name sounds like; her husband’s death, Ruth insists on no matter how they became Jewish— accompanying her Israelite mother-in- through birth or through conversion, as law, Naomi, when she returns to Israel. a child or as an adult. There she cares for Naomi and ends up marrying one of her relatives. Because 3 of Ruth’s declaration to Naomi: Baruch atah, Adonai Eloheinu, Melech haolam, borei p’ri hagafen. Bountiful with blessing are You, Adonai our God, Ruler of the world, Creator of the fruit of the vine. 24

The Braid: Indecent Sexposure Written and performed by Melanie Chartoff and ensemble. Hallel (songs of praise) Hallel is the song of celebration. It is our victory cry, our proclaimed redemption. It is breaking free. Freedom. It isn’t once, to walk out under the Milky Way, feeling the rivers of light, the fields of dark— freedom is daily, prose-bound, routine remembering. Putting together, inch by inch the starry worlds. From all the lost collections. ―Adrienne Rich, “For Memory” The Fourth Glass of Wine Among the many lost this year was a giant of the Jewish women’s community, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, 4 of blessed memory, a woman who certainly needs no introduction. We dedicate the final glass of wine to her formidable memory. We are reminded of the vast potential that lives in each of us to do good and improve the world. We are also reminded of our responsibility to lift up the women around us. May her memory be forever a blessing. Baruch atah, Adonai Eloheinu, Melech haolam, borei p’ri hagafen. Bountiful with blessing are You, Adonai our God, Ruler of the world, Creator of the fruit of the vine. 25

Nirtzah (conclusion) Wearing nothing but snakeskin boots, I blazed a footpath, the first radical road out of that old kingdom toward a new unknown. When I came to those great flaming gates of burning gold, I stood alone in terror at the threshold between Paradise and Earth. There I heard a mysterious echo: my own voice singing to me from across the forbidden side. I shook awake—at once alive in a blaze of green fire. Let it be known: I did not fall from grace. I leapt to freedom. ―Ansel Elkins, “Autobiography of Eve” 26

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