SAMBO - CW 198 - Research Anthology

KAI SAMBO



PLAY, GIRL! The Self-Presentation Of Female Filipino Gamers In Cooperative Role-Play Games Kyra Francesca Sambo CW 198

TABLE OF CONTENTS 1 1 Chapter 1: Introduction 3 Background and Literature Review 8 Methodology 8 9 Chapter 2: Findings 10 Game Ka Na Ba? 14 The Gamer and the Gamer Girl 16 Deconstructing the Gamer Girl 17 Why Is There a Girl Here? 19 In My Own World 21 23 Chapter 3: Eli 25 Black Hat Sisterhood 27 29 Chapter 4: Nesli 30 Eldoria 36 Chapter 5: Cat ii The Lady of the Seas References Appendix A: Consent Forms Appendix B: Research Materials

LIST OF FIGURES Figure 1: Associated Words to Gamers via Answer Garden 10 Figure 2: Associated Words to Real Gamers via Answer Garden 11 Figure 3: Associated Words to Fake Gamers via Answer Garden 12 Figure 4: Associated Words to Girl Games via Answer Garden 12 Figure 5: Associated Words to Real Girl Gamers via Answer 13 Garden Figure 6: Associated Words to Fake Girl Gamers via Answer 14 Garden Figure 7: “Girls don’t play video games” Comics by Tim Buckley 14 iii

CHAPTER ONE INTRODUCTION BACKGROUND AND LITERATURE REVIEW Over the years, the video game industry has seen an increase both in video game titles and players. Video games have developed from being exclusive to specific consoles like the Atari to more convenient and accessible handheld devices like a Smartphone. This development can likewise be seen in the collaborative and interactive aspects of video games and video game communities. With the sudden emergence of COVID-19 as a global pandemic, people were forced to stay inside their own homes. Classes and work were transferred to an online setting— making use of different online meeting applications like Zoom and Google Classroom. Not only were the academic and professional aspects of people’s lives affected, but the more recreational aspects too. Although online cooperative (co-op) gaming has been around for many years, the statistics for video game engagement has seen a significant increase during the pandemic. In an industry report conducted by Streamlabs and Stream Hatchet (2020), Twitch has broken previously set records for viewership, Facebook Gaming has tripled in watch hours, and unique channels on Facebook Gaming increased 55%. This increase created an avenue for more people to be able to engage in video games. Still, there remains an imbalance in the number of gamers of different genders. In a Forbes article (Yokoi, 2021), women comprised only 41% of all gamers in the United States of America and 40-45% in Asia. The article also proceeded to talk about the lack of female character representation in video games. In fact, only 5% of video game protagonists are female. This saw an increase in 2020 wherein 18% of games launched featured female characters. However, this increase still showcases the utter lack in female and women representation. 1

representation. This lack of representation, in turn, poses a problem in how women view and present themselves. According to the results of a study by Gestos, et al (2018), women reported self-objectification and low levels of self-efficacy as a result of exposure to female objectification in video games. The study also demonstrated that female characters are unevenly and unfairly represented compared to their male counterparts. These female characters were more often portrayed as subordinate, objectified and hypersexualised figures. This is in line with the study by Lewis and Griffiths (2011) wherein they discussed that while the possibilities of having chosen female characters are increased, they are still underrepresented and oversexualised. Female characters are also more likely to be put in supportive roles rather than the main roles. In the past years, 15% of the women as compared to 85% of men were support characters while 10% of women as compared to 90% of men were the main protagonists (Williams et al. 2009, as cited in McCullough, 2019). This problematic representation, thus, gives way to even more negative repercussions. McCullough et al (2019) made mention that video games often contain sexist content. This, in turn, connects to the negative consequences on female video game players including internalized negative attitudes and perceptions about women. The results of the study also supported their hypothesis that the time spent playing these video games would positively relate to internalized misogyny. This can further be supported by the study on the self-presentation among women game streamers by Alvarez and Chen (2021), some streamers in Singapore and the Philippines have developed a sense of obligation that necessitates the maintenance of a specific self- presentation that they believe the audience wants: the image of a happy and cheerful woman. The study also discussed that this presentation is a highly conscious response to a stereotype about women streamers. This stereotype paints the picture of a woman who allows herself to be objectified and sexualised for many and views all the while being bad at the act of gaming itself. It is thus an extension of the inferior status that women have in gaming that also threatens their legitimacy in the said community. In the attempt to remove themselves from the stereotype, these streamers are cautious and meticulous in how they present themselves— more often than not, being highly conscious of how feminine they would act and look on camera. Strategies in protecting themselves from the negative stereotypes typically involve controlling and managing the display of their identity. Yao and Rhodes (2022) found two main strategies in their tests to see ddddd 2

the self-stereotyping strategies that women use to protect their self- image against the negative stereotypes: 1.) Weakening the commitment to the identity as a woman gamer; and 2.) Strategically rejecting and endorsing certain aspects of the said identity. Both strategies involve the manipulation of aspects of their identity as gamers in order to protect their own self-image. With a number of approximately 43 million active gamers, it is clear that gaming is becoming mainstream in the country (Guevara, 2023). With this sort of industry seeping into the Philippine culture, the researchers sought to find out the behavioral responses elicited from female Filipino gamers— who are born and raised in a country that is already massively exposed to misogyny and sexism— to another community that actively participates in the same, if not higher, level of bigotry. Questions raised include: Is there resistance? and Could they be unwilling participants or active participants to this culture? Play, Girl! is a collaboration between the researchers and the participants. The title is a reference to the American men’s lifestyle magazine, Playboy, which uses images of women portrayed in an erotic light to cater to the male gaze. The researchers recognize that the male- dominated video game industry is just the same with the way female video game characters are created and portrayed. In response, the researchers borrowed the name of this zine to create a collection of stories from women video game players and written for the women. This anthology contains the written output required from the participants who have then been tasked to create their own video game character sheet and the creative works from the researchers as products of their analysis of the participants’ shared outputs and stories. With these stories, the researchers aim to shed light to the struggles of girl gamers and later encourage prospective future readers to just keep playing, girl! METHODOLOGY Initially, the research required a maximum of five (5) participants. However, given the time constraints, only three (3) were able to take part in the research. These participants, through a mix of purposive and snowball sampling, were selected based on the following criteria: 1.Female gamer born and raised in the Philippines from age 18 to 25 2.Participates in cooperating gaming and actively engages in gaming lobbies 3.Willing to meet with the researchers and co-participants for two sessions via online conference meetings 3

All interested individuals who met the criteria were then given a primer containing all the important information: a brief background of the study, research expectations, and incentives. The participants were then given informed consent forms after they were confirmed as participants in the research. These consent forms were signed and submitted back to the researchers during the first workshop session. To seek answers to the stated problem, the researchers conducted an arts-based social research in the form of a modified Creative Writing Workshop. The participants took part in two 2-3 hour long sessions wherein they were asked to answer short creative prompts that eventually summed up to a final creative output. The workshop did not have a strict Creative Writing Workshop format. The workshop was structured in such a way that allowed the participants to be able to freely share their thoughts and experiences. Rather than focusing on the critical discussion of the participants’ outputs, the participants were encouraged to talk more about their experience of writing and the experiences they have written about. This allowed for a more free-flowing and organic discussion. The prompts were used as both guide for transition and guide for topic participation. With this, the participants were free to answer the given prompts through any form of creative writing output, all of which could be written in either English or Filipino. While the participants all submitted their own versions of character sheets, it has been established in the primer and during the workshops that they were permitted to submit their creative writing outputs as: short stories journal entries poems comics songs or rap (to be submitted with written lyrics) other forms of creative writing as preferred All the workshop sessions were conducted through the digital communication app called Discord. The participants were not required to turn on their cameras and were given the liberty to use code names. 4

The following table lists the flow of the two workshop sessions: WORKSHOP SESSION 1 (2 hours and 30 minutes) TOPIC Creative Prompt / Guide Questions A. Game Ka na Ba? How long have you been 1. Preliminaries (10 mins) playing video games? What games do you play? Facilitator brief self-introduction and overview What are your preferred of the project/workshop. gaming styles? Quick run-through of the contents of the consent forms which will be signed What are the roles you synchronously by both facilitators and play in a team game IF participants. The participants are free to ask you prefer playing questions and/or clarifications before signing team games? the consent form. Who/what are your 2. Introduction Activity (15 mins) preferred The participants and facilitators get to know characters/avatars? each other by introducing themselves through their chosen code names¹ and answering some Is there a particular guide questions. passage from the essay that struck you? Why? B. The Gamer and the Girl 1. Reading Activity: “Growing up a Gamer Girl” by Maggie Berardo (10 mins) 2. Reflective Activity / Sharing (30 mins) C. Deconstructing the Girl Gamer Why did you write these 1. Word Association Game (5-10 mins, 1-2 minutes words/phrases under each word) these keywords? Have you been classified Given a series of keywords, through jamboard, by other gamers under the participants were encouraged to input words any of these keywords? or phrases they associate the keyword with: How did you feel about it? Gamers Real Gamers Fake Gamers Girl Games Real GIRL Gamers Fake GIRL Gamers 2. Processing / Reflection / Discussion (30 minutes) 5

5 MINUTE BREAK How did you feel after reading the comic? D. “Ba’t may babae dito?” Have you experienced a Before proceeding, the facilitators explained the similar situation as the sensitivity of the next topic, informed the girl in the comic? How participants once again that they can choose not did you react? to share specific experiences that they are not comfortable to talk about and reminded everyone of the ethics of maintaining a calm and respectful discussion. Discussion: Comic Strip (30 mins) E. In my own world… (5 mins) Output: The participants were asked to look back to the If you were a female introductory question, “Who are your preferred character inside a game, characters to play?”. They are then asked to what would be your: think about their ideal video game characters Character design and if they already exist in the game they Skills currently play or not. If not, what should this Backstory character be like? One-page minimum, short bond paper. No limit to font size and font style, be as creative as you want! WORKSHOP SESSION 2 Creative Prompt / (1 hour and 30 minutes) Guide Questions TOPIC Workshop and Culminating Activity How long have you been Preliminaries (10 mins) playing video games? What games do you play? Disposition checking of the participants What are your preferred Reminder from facilitators that participants may gaming styles? choose not to share experiences they are uncomfortable to talk about and remind What are the roles you everyone of the ethics of maintaining a calm and play in a team game IF respectful discussion. you prefer playing 1. Sharing of final works (1 hr, 15 mins) team games? The participants were given 15 minutes each to Who/what are your present their work to the group. preferred 2. Idea Processing characters/avatars? The participants were asked to comment on each other’s works and pick out parts that struck them. 6 Synthesis (15 mins) The facilitators by summarized the important points made during the discussion of works

The analyses of the participants’ outputs and workshop participation were written through works of fiction by utilizing their created characters to represent them. But while fiction, the insights and stories that these works explore are from the real experiences of the participants. The use of the creative writing approach in decoding raw data to formulate an analysis of experience aids in building a strong empathic bond between the researchers, the participants and the research audience. The researchers aim to create conversations between the participants and themselves through this exchange of creative works in order to create conclusions and answers to the stated research questions. 7

CHAPTER TWO FINDINGS This chapter lays out some significant findings that were gathered throughout the two workshop sessions. GAME KA NA BA? The first workshop began with a quick introduction. Each participant was given time to introduce themselves and become acquainted with the other participants and the researchers. In relation to the topic of the research, they were each asked an overview about their video game playing habits and experience. The inquiries included how long they have been playing, what genre of games they play, what their preferred gaming styles are, what their preferred characters are, etc. The three participants, Eli, Nesli and Cat— as they would all like to be called respectively— were very open in sharing their past and current experiences with regards to video games and gaming. The first participant, Eli, talked about her dislike of gory games. She also mentioned how usually she opts to play the support roles rather than the main damage dealing roles. This took some of the pressure off needing to deal big numbers when attacking opponents. She also prefers to use female characters rather than male characters. She understood that these may usually give away that she is a female gamer to the other people playing, that's why she usually sticks to playing with gamers that she knows are female. Doing so allows her to feel safer as opposed to playing with male gamers. The second participant, Nesli, talked about being intimidated by her male cousins who also play video games. According to her experience, male gamers tend to be more “competitive”. She made mention about how they are usually more aggressive in voicing out their displeasure. This is one of the reasons why she prefers playing non-aggressive and more supportive roles. She leaves these more combative roles to her male cousins because she believes that it is more of “their field” and that she isn’t fit for such roles. 8

combative roles to her male cousins because she believes that it is more of “their field” and that she isn’t fit for such roles. The third and last participant, Cat, talked about playing a lot of role-playing games— technically, the roleplaying servers for the game Grand Theft Auto. Throughout the workshop, she talked about wanting better representation for women in the video game industry. Like the other participants, she also prefers support roles in games. THE GAMER AND THE GIRL In this section of the workshop, the participants were tasked to read the essay, Growing up a Gamer Girl by Maggie Berardo. After the reading activity, they were asked to respond to parts of the essay that they find interesting. This is one of the passages they chose to respond to: Every purchase I made was an occasion for comment. If I bought Harvest Moon, which was known as a feminine game, they gave me a proverbial pat on the head. When I didn’t—when I picked up Red Dead Redemption, say—they warned that “this isn’t your sort of game, sweetheart.” Even a friend and fellow gamer (albeit one with a Y chromosome) told me that I didn’t deserve Wii’s then-new Monster Hunter Tri. “You won’t be able to appreciate it,” he told me. “You’re not a real fan.” Eli and Nesli shared that at one point, they were also criticized for their choice of games, especially when they try to engage with traditionally “masculine” games like Counterstrike and other first- person shooting games. Their male peers most often question their skills when they mention playing these games. Eli also extended this discussion to her choice of characters and shares that when she chooses high-ranking characters, male peers are quick to question if she knows how to handle them well. Both girls expressed that these stereotypes cause feelings of intimidation that limit them from trying new games. Oftentimes, to avoid this, they choose not to disclose their gender or use gender-neutral names in game servers. Cat, on the other hand, picked out the following passage: And not long after that, I learned that to be a gamer and a girl was to inhabit yet another world dark and strange, one packed with traps and landmines and adversaries all its own. She reflected that the barriers to a girl gamer’s experience revolves around the question, “Which games are for women and which are not?” Eli added that she also uses overcompensation as a coping mechanism, DDDDD 9

saying she is sometimes encouraged to play more games so she can have an “edge” in the game. DECONSTRUCTING THE GAMER GIRL The researchers prepared a word association activity for the participants. Here, the participants are given a series of keywords. Through the website called Answer Garden, they are then encouraged to put in any words or phrases they associate the keywords with. A word or phrase grows bigger when they are typed multiple times. After the activity, each keyword was then discussed individually. The first keyword was gamers (see fig. 1.). The answers ranged from names of Twitch streamers (i.e. Lilypichu, Toast, Kyedae, QuarterJade, [Valky]Rae, Sykkuno, Pokimane) to what they perceive as typical gamer characteristics (i.e. creative, smart, has aim, pwede rin walang aim, strategic). They even put in some ideas on what are involved in gaming (i.e. PVP, strategy). In the discussion, one of the first things to pop into their heads when thinking of the word gamer was Twitch streaming. Twitch is a video live streaming service that allows users to stream to anyone, anywhere. The reason why this is one of the immediate responses is because one of the main focuses on this website is video game streaming, including live gameplays and broadcasts of esports competitions. Among the seven mentioned streamers, five of them are female streamers. It was mentioned that they typically prefer to watch female streamers than male streamers. Fig. 1. Associated Words to Gamers via Answer Garden The second keyword was real gamers (see fig. 2.). The answers in this keyword all relate to a more positive disposition. During the discussion, the participants’ common ground when it comes to “real gamers” is the 10

discussion, the participants’ common ground when it comes to “real gamers” is the existence of great sportsmanship. While cooperative gaming may require players to team up against each other, the participants point out that “real gamers” are generally more respectful. In their words, these gamers are not toxic and thus, avoid doing anything negative or upsetting. One interesting answer to note is the “di nangtatrashtalk unless trashtalkable”. Only one person typed this into the Answer Garden. However, when this was brought up in the discussion, everyone agreed. According to them, trash talk done in good faith can actually help make a game more enjoyable. This then becomes less enjoyable when trash talk turns into ad hominem, especially when it is directed to women. It was pointed out that in most game servers, skills don’t matter if you are a woman. Weaker and less strategic male gamers are hardly trash-talked compared to “weak” girl gamers. Even high-ranked girl gamers are attacked just because of their gender. It was also highlighted that weaker gamers are automatically assumed to be girls. Fig. 2. Associated Words to Real Gamers via Answer Garden The third keyword was fake gamers (see fig. 3.). A keyword that was highlighted in the discussion is “gatekeepers”. The respondent who inputted the keyword expressed that she mostly directed this to gamers who alienate fellow gamers who are new to the game and are still learning how to play. She also highlights that this also applies to male gamers who alienate female gamers in traditionally “masculine” games thinking they are “not fit” for the game. She believes that in contrast to this, real gamers will welcome anyone regardless of gender or skill to any game because they know not everyone can be skilled from the beginning and that gaming should be an enjoyable experience. 11

Fig. 3. Associated Words to Fake Gamers via Answer Garden The fourth keyword was girl games (see fig. 4.). This category has significantly less entries than the others. The common theme in the typed entries is equality. According to the participants, girl games refer to any game available, regardless of themes, genre, etc. Their answers mainly depended on what they personally play— all of them play different genres of games like role-playing games (RPGs), FPS (First- person shooter), etc. When asked to elaborate on their answers, the participants revealed that they typed their answers according to their best intentions. They avoided the stereotypical answers to what girl games are like dress-up games, cooking games, etc. They acknowledge the imbalance in how some of the gaming websites (i.e. Y8, Oyunlar1, MoFunZone) categorize their games. For instance, games typically catered for younger boys like shooting or racing games get their own dedicated Shooting or Racing categories. However, games for girls get one catch-all category. Dress-up games, cooking games and other games typically marketed for younger girls are put into the same category: Girl Games. Fig. 4. Associated Words to Girl Games via Answer Garden 12

The fifth keyword was real girl gamers (see fig. 5.). Like the entries for real gamers, the entries in this category are on the positive side. Among the entries, “sister supportive” was actually typed more than three times— which is more than the number of participants. Some of them typed this more than once in order to enhance its importance. During the discussion, the participants talked about how there are girls who “play for the girls”. These girls are those who support other girls who play. While they realise that internalised misogyny is rampant in the gaming community, they point out that real girl gamers will not give in to such ideology and instead make the effort to uplift other girl gamers. Fig. 5. Associated Words to Real Girl Gamers via Answer Garden The sixth and last keyword was fake girl gamers (see fig. 6.). Unlike the previous category, the entries in this are more negative. In relation to the previous category, the fake girl gamers are the girls who give in to their internalised misogyny. During the discussion, the term “pick me” was emphasised. This pertains to the girls who have the constant need for validation from men. It was brought up that female gamers are actually more competitive than male gamers–only that this competition is overlooked as it happens internally. It is a competition between women regarding their female identity and it is manifested by trying to be the “superior” female in the game to have an edge despite their gender disadvantage. 13

Fig. 6. Associated Words to Fake Girl Gamers via Answer Garden WHY IS THERE A GIRL HERE? In this section of the workshop, the participants were shown a very short comic strip (see fig. 7.). Immediate outrage was expressed towards the second panel where the brown-haired boy exclaims that girls do not play video games. Discussions circled around top- performing girl gamers not being perceived independently in game servers under the assumption that they’re only achieving their high ranks because they are aided by their boyfriends. Meanwhile, Eli was thrown off by the black-haired boy. She explained that at first, she thought that the black-haired boy was defending the girl gamer until the third panel and concluded that he was only doing so because she has breasts. Fig. 7. “Girls don’t play video games” Comics by Tim Buckley 14

The discussion shifted on to the topic of harassment. The participants expressed their thoughts on issues surrounding female game streamers who are accused of using their body to gain viewers on their streams. They connected this to the harassment girl gamers also experience in game servers wherein instead of fighting back, they choose to leave it be despite being heavily affected because they believe that if they do try to call it out, it will most likely get progressively worse. They concluded that most of these aggressors use their anonymity in these game servers or stream accounts as a shield, hence the lack of responsibility. The participants pointed out that they curate their profiles to avoid this, particularly by using gender neutral names and avoiding the use of female display picturers as this is mostly used by predatory male gamers as an invitation to approach and/or harass them. The topic of gamer girlfriends was brought up at the premise that some male gamers seek for gamer girlfriends that project the “cool girl” image to be able to flaunt them to other males. But once the gamer girlfriend actually starts being a better gamer, these men don’t actually appreciate it. The discussion went back to harassment again, but this time, focusing on the sexualization of female video game characters. The participants pointed out the contrast in character design for men and women wherein for female characters, “the higher the level, the lesser the clothing” and for male characters, “the higher the level, the better the protective gear” which questions the purpose of the protective gear in the first place if it leaves the female characters with more exposed skin. The participants also discussed the unnecessary aggression from international gamers towards the issue of Chinese Genshin Impact servers dressing characters more conservatively compared to the international servers because of their culture. They expressed their annoyance towards these negative reactions especially since most of these gamers use the international servers anyway and thus their characters aren’t affected by this change in design. Additionally, they pointed out that there’s always backlash when a female character isn’t showing a lot of skin, highlighting the video game character, 13-year old Ellie from the Last of Us that some discussion spaces complained about being dressed too “boring” with a simple shirt and jeans. It was also briefly mentioned that female video game characters are more often given support roles and rarely aggressive or front-line roles. To conclude the first workshop, briefly bringing back the discussion of tolerance as a coping mechanism, the researchers asked the question: “What would you do if your friend, mid-game, dropped a misogynistic remark?” The participants answered that they will try to talk to their friends about it first and if the action isn’t corrected, they will cut off 15

friends about it first and if the action isn’t corrected, they will cut off the friendship. However, it was also pointed out that they wouldn’t be friends with someone for that long if they have been since showcasing misogynist behavior even before the game. IN MY OWN WORLD ddd The participants were given the opportunity to create their own video game characters. They were thus given full creative liberty as to how to create their own characters. dddd Eli created a character with witch-like abilities. When asked about the reasons why she created such a character, she talked about the idea of subverting the expectations when it comes to the witch character. The witch has historically been used as a symbol of “unruly” women— women who did not fit the societal standards of what it means to be a woman. Eli wanted to present herself/ her character as a powerful witch— reclaiming the title and giving it a more positive and, even, heroic connotation. d Nesli, on the other hand, created a character who lived in a matriarchal society. She played around with the idea of “What if we lived and grew up in a matriarchal society? Would things be different?” It was mentioned how so much of the negative influence in media, such as video games, are due to the amount of unrealistic and unfair expectations of patriarchy. That being said, Nesli wanted to take the opportunity to present herself/ her character as a strong support character who lives in a society ruled and governed by women. Finally, Cat created a character who represented a group of people, the Batanguenos. She emphasised the need for more cultural representations in video games. There was also a discussion about the oversexualisation of women in video games. Instead of having fleshed- out characteristics, women are reduced to their looks. Cat wanted to take the opportunity to present herself/ her character as a character that’s worthy of being a positive representation rather than simply being some “eye candy.” The next chapters are dedicated to the analyses of outputs of the participants that were created in response to the prompt: If you were a female character inside a game, what character would you be? The discussions and analysis of these works are integrated into the works of fiction by the researcher in response to the participants' outputs. 16

CHAPTER THREE ELI 17

CHAPTER THREE ELI 18

Black Hat Sisterhood Underneath the glow of the moonlight, the sisterhood stalks. The darkness, a cover. A comforting embrace. In clusters they move, gliding into the night like hawks. Quietly drinking in the thrill of the chase. The dark alley is dead quiet except for the soft pitter patter of the small cat. Her dark purple seems to blend in with the shadows that fill the empty alley. Her footsteps are hurried, head looking behind her every now and then. Her glowing purple eyes quickly dart through the darkness and in a split second, she makes the decision to leap unto the pile of discarded boxes and heave herself up over the ledge. With practiced grace, she swiftly treks the narrow ledge until she reaches the window at the far end of the third floor. She brings one of her paws up onto the window pane and pushes it open. The room is shrouded in complete darkness. In complete exhaustion, the cat lays its small body in the middle of the room, letting herself soak up the sliver of moonlight that peeks through the curtains. The room is overtaken by complete silence and stillness, as if time itself decided to stop within the four walls. Suddenly, the cat curls up. Her eyes shoot open, glowing even brighter than before. Slowly, the cat grows in size. Her short limbs stretch out, fur slowly receding to reveal fair skin. Her paws flex into a pair of hands and feet. Her whisker-clad face distorts until all that could be seen is the smooth face of a young human girl. In a momentary point of respite, she clutches the crystal necklace around dangling on her neck. She draws in quick shallow breaths, squeezing her eyes shut as she tries to find her bearings. She has always been very discreet when it comes to roaming the night. Her hair, as purple as it is, has always been overlooked in the large crowd. The shadows have always shielded her from recognition. Always. Tonight proved to be different. She had just said her goodbyes to her sisters. Roaming and patrolling the nights were infinitely easier when she’s with them— a blanket of dddd 19

comfort in the unforgiving world. Each of her sisters turned their backs on her— catching a glimpse of the symbols of a black hat tattooed on the back of their necks— before racing into the night. It was supposed to be an uneventful night, just like the night before. And the night before that. “Witch!” In an instant, her quiet night was disturbed by the unexpected appearance of unwelcome guests. From behind her, a bunch of rowdy- looking men stood in close proximity. She whipped her head in front of her and saw that another group took their place there. Their faces held different vehemence. Malice. Anger. Arrogance. Condescension. Danger. They closed in on her, sealing her exit. They walked with a deliberately slow speed. They were taunting and mocking her with their creeping steps. She wasted no time and bolted to the nearest wall, using it as a springboard and effectively jumping over the group in front of her. They, too, were quick to spring to action. She was fast, unnaturally so. Yet fear seemed to be a stronger opponent. The men were hot on her heels. “Come back here, Witch!” Her footsteps didn’t feel fast enough. “Come show us a little magic trick!” Her heart raced as she racked her brain for ways to escape the predicament she found herself in. In an attempt to lead her pursuers into a wild goose chase, she rounded the next street and willed herself to transform into a cat. Taking advantage of her now small size, she squeezed herself beneath the nearest parked car. Her paws visibly trembled as she peered through the tiny opening. The men were relentless in pursuing the little witch girl. Their quick stomps passed by the car, oblivious to her hiding spot. After making sure that there were no more men left, she carefully crawls her way out from underneath her temporary haven. The trek home has never felt so exhausting. 20

CHAPTER FOUR NESLI 21

CHAPTER FOUR NESLI 22

Eldoria Eldoria sits in the throne of power The mere mention of her name cause enemies to cower A world governed by divine femininity Ruling with grace over everyone in its vicinity The matriarchs sit in a throne of roses Unmatched against the throne of kings Reginleit didn’t know why she was summoned by the city Matriarchs. All these years, she has kept to herself, making sure that she disrupted nothing and bothered no one. In the centuries of her solitude, she has holed up in her workshop, making invention after invention. The Legend of Eldoria, they called her. Her time as the army strategist has long since passed. Her unparalleled wits helped her to create the battle strategies that led them to win the Great Battle of the Red Valley. Eldoria has since been an independent city and has been for hundreds of years. It was a city that thrived under the guidance of formidable sorceresses and visionary leaders. In the hundreds of years of its independence, Eldoria has regained its liberty and freed itself from the legacy of the Old Patriarchs. The deep scars left behind by their tyrannical control have long since healed. Children were given the freedom to be who they wanted to be. Lovers never had to be afraid of showing their love to the world. Husbands embrace their wives with veneration and complete adoration. Women never had to carry their whistles at night. Benevolent women rule over them all. As she stared at the Palace of the Matriarchs, Reginleit felt a wave of unease wash over her. If they had called her then there must have been something diabolical enough to threaten the city’s peace. The throne room looked like it was frozen in time. Long and luscious flower vines crawled from floor to ceiling. The floors were strikingly clean and, even with the amount of flowers filling the room, didn’t have any litter of fallen petals and leaves. From where she stood, she could see the ceilings painted with a depiction of the Great Battle. It hadn’t changed from the last time she stepped foot in it. 23

On the five awe striking thrones sat five beautiful women, each of them wearing a crown of their own jurisdiction. “Welcome, Soothsayer.” The Matriarchs’ voices blended in a smooth harmony, as if hearing them was akin to hearing the goddesses themselves. Reginleit offered a respectful bow in return. “A great war is brewing,” the Matriarch of Divination said, wasting no time in pleasantries. “The Kingdom of Gaiatera is planning an attack at our Motherland.” The Kingdom of Gaiatera formerly ruled over Eldoria. It was a tyrannical patriarchy that continued to persist throughout the centuries. Many centuries ago, Reginleit called it home. Despite escaping the clutches of an oppressive society, she should have expected that one day, it would come back to haunt her once again. She clenched her hands in the memory of her time in Gaiatera— a beautiful childhood tainted with discriminatory expectations. With pure and great determination, she looked at the Matriarchs. “Let’s stop them,” Reginleit said. “Once and for all.” 24

CHAPTER FIVE CAT 25

CHAPTER FIVE CAT 26

The Lady of the Seas When the sun sets out to sleep, a woman walks Down the coastline, with the sea she talks Covered head-to-toe in a dress made of the ocean Her voice, it rings like a sweet potion Her sun-kissed skin, only from the hands you can tell Her teardrop eyes captivate you in a spell Sealing your wounds with words from the sea Everywhere she walks, the water is free From afar, she’s a blur, a shadow too quick For she keeps to the sidelines, preferring to be a sidekick She can summon a tidal wave at the drop of a hat But she keeps her powers at bay but leaves a promise at that The sun had barely set when Agua Mandigma finally stepped out of the ocean and into the empty beach in Mabini. The rocks covering the surface pricked the soles of her feet as she walked, but she trudged onward. The ocean didn’t seem to have left her being yet as its blue and green waves still enveloped her body, creating the silhouette of a long trail of a long gown. As her bare feet continued to bring her closer and closer to land, the gown made of water slowly morphed into the shape of a traje de mestiza. On her shoulders sat a sea green baro, embroidered with an almost serpentine-like shape to connect different shapes of seashells together. The water from the sea splashed one last time and revealed an ocean blue saya, flowing like waves as it gently crashed into the beach. As if made of water herself, Agua manoeuvred around the giant rocks littered all over the beach until she reached the cliff overlooking the ocean. She scrunched her face in discontent. Once again, the people of the city have desecrated the pure beach. From where was standing, she could see the trail of detritus that littered the coastline. Stray plastic bags and buried water bottles decorated the sands, blending them in with the countless rocks and seaweed that appeared to wash ashore. From the corner of her eyes, she saw movement from under one of the plastic bags. With a quick swish of her fingers, water rose up into the cliff and engulfed her, lifting her up into the air. She willed the water to move her closer to the plastic bag, watching it evaporate as her feet touched the ground. dd 27

With careful hands, she lifted up the plastic bag. Trapped under a seemingly harmless piece of plastic and flappers entangled in its elastic handles was a small turtle. Its eyes rose up to Agua’s, pleading for her to save it from its clutches. Slowly, she untangled the poor creature. She kissed it on its forehead as she put it back into the ocean. She turned back to the beach and laid her palms on the warm sand. From her hands, a flurry of lights emerged, weaving through the sand and covering the entire beach in bright blues and greens. As the light burned brighter, the The people have defiled their sanctuary— both theirs and hers—but she remained benevolent. Her beaches were once again tainted, but she kept the oceans still for another day. She disappeared into the deep once again, leaving only a glittering conch in the middle of the coast. I remain unseen but I was here, Your lives I spared, I make that clear You may defile and taint and be completely absurd But I will remain, forever undeterred 28

REFERENCES Buckley, T. (2003, January 14.). GIRLS DON’T PLAY VIDEO GAMES [Comics]. CTRL+ALT+DEL. https://cad-comic.com/?s=girl+gamer Guevara, R. (2023, April 14). Gaming in the Philippines: From pastime to mainstream entertainment. M2.0 Communications Inc. - Public Relations Firm. https://m2comms.com/2023/02/17/gaming-in-the- philippines/ Gestos, M., Smith-Merry, J., & Campbell, A. T. (2018). Representation of Women in Video Games: A Systematic Review of Literature in Consideration of Adult Female Wellbeing. Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, 21(9), 535–541. https://doi.org/10.1089/cyber.2017.0376 Lewis, A. M., & Griffiths, M. D. (2011). Confronting gender representation: a qualitative study of the experiences and motivations of female casual gamers. Aloma: Revista De Psicologia, Ciències De L’educació I De L’esport Blanquerna, 28, 245–272. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/228750365_Confronting_gen der_representation_A_qualitative_study_of_the_experiences_and_mo tivations_of_female_casual-gamers May, E. (2021, December 15). Streamlabs & Stream Hatchet Q2 2020 Live Streaming Industry Report. Medium. https://blog.streamlabs.com/streamlabs-stream-hatchet-q2-2020-live- streaming-industry-report-44298e0d15bc McCullough, K. M., Wong, Y. J., & Stevenson, N. J. (2019). Female video game players and the protective effect of feminist identity against internalized misogyny. Sex Roles, 82(5-6), 266–276. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11199-019-01055-7 Yao, S. X., & Rhodes, N. (2022). Protecting a Positive View of the Self: Female Gamers’ Strategic Self-Attribution of Stereotypes. Sex Roles, 88(3–4), 155–168. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11199-022-01343-9 Yokoi, T. (2021, March 4). Female Gamers Are On The Rise. Can The Gaming Industry Catch Up? Forbes. https://www.forbes.com/sites/tomokoyokoi/2021/03/04/female- gamers-are-on-the-rise-can-the-gaming-industry-catch-up/? sh=748b51ecf9fe 29

APPENDIX A CONSENT FORMS 30

APPENDIX A CONSENT FORMS 31

APPENDIX A CONSENT FORMS 32

APPENDIX A CONSENT FORMS 33

APPENDIX A CONSENT FORMS 34

APPENDIX A CONSENT FORMS 35

APPENDIX B RESEARCH MATERIALS 36

APPENDIX B RESEARCH MATERIALS 37

The existence of numerous video games with sexist themes and undertones is connected to how the behavior of the players of such games are influenced. Filipino gamers are not excluded from such influence. Female Filipino gamers, in particular, are further exposed to misogyny and sexism due to the Philippine society that is still largely conservative. This then begs the question as to how these female Filipino gamers present themselves in the cooperative role-playing gaming communities, wherein stereotypes continue to persist. Through a series of creative writing workshops, the researchers facilitated a social research on the exploration of the self-presentation of female Filipino gamers as guided by the question, “What identities do female Filipino gamers create in cooperative role-playing gaming communities to negotiate gendered online spaces?” Play, Girl! is both a research and an anthology that aims to shed light to the struggles of girl gamers and later encourage prospective future readers to just keep playing, girl!