["paramedics\twere\tquick\tto\tput\ther\ton\ta\tbackboard\tand\tgive\ther\toxygen\tas\tthey slid\tthe\tboard\tinto\tthe\tambulance. \\\"Any\tidea\thow\tbad\tit\tis?\\\"\tone\tof\tthe\tcops\tasked\tthe\tsenior\tparamedic. Grace\twas\tcompletely\tunconscious\tand\thad\tnever\tstirred\tsince\tthey\tfound\ther. All\tshe'd\tdone\twas\tgasp\tfor\tair,\tand\tthey\twere\tgiving\ther\toxygen\twith\ta\tbag\tand mask. \\\"It\tdoesn't\tlook\tgood,\\\"\tthe\tparamedic\tsaid\thonestly.\t\\\"She's\tgot\ta\thead\tinjury. That\tcould\tmean\tanything.\\\"\tFrom\tdeath\tto\tretardation\tto\ta\tpermanent\tcoma. There\twas\tno\tway\tfor\tthem\tto\ttell\tthere.\tShe\tlooked\tterrible\tin\tthe\tlight\tas\tthey raced\tuptown\tto\tBellevue. Her\tface\twas\tbattered\talmost\tbeyond\trecognition,\ther\teyes\twere\tswollen\tshut, there\twas\ta\tknife\twound\ton\ther\tneck,\tand\twhen\tthey\tpulled\topen\ther\tshirt\tand unzipped\ther\tjeans,\tthey\tsaw\thow\tbad\tthe\tbruises\twere\tthere. Her\tattacker\thad\tvery\tnearly\tkilled\ther.\t\\\"It\tlooks\tpretty\tbad,\\\"\tthe\tparamedic\tsaid to\tthe\tcop\tin\ta\twhisper.\t\\\"There's\tnot\tmuch\tleft\tof\ther. I\twonder\tif\tthe\tguy\tknew\ther.\tWhat's\ther\tname?\\\" The\tpoliceman\topened\ther\twallet\tagain\tand\tread\tit\taloud\tto\tone\tof\tthe paramedics,\tas\the\tnodded.\tThey\thad\twork\tto\tdo\there.\tThey\thad\tto\ttry\tto\tkeep\ther going\ttill\tthey\tgot\tto\tBellevue. \\\"Come\ton,\tGrace\t...\topen\tyour\teyes\tfor\tus\t...\tyou're\tokay\t...\t. we're\tnot\tgoing\tto\thurt\tyou\t...\twe're\ttaking\tyou\tto\tthe\thospital,\tGrace\t...\tGrace\t... Grace\t...\tshit\t...\\\"\tThey\thad\tan\tIV\tgoing\tand\ta\tblood\tpressure\tcuff\ton\ther\tand\tit was\tdropping\tsharply. \\\"We're\tlosing\ther,\\\"\the\tsaid\tto\this\tcolleague.\tIt\twas\tgoing\tdown,\tdown,\tdown\t...\t. and\tthen\tit\twas\tgone,\tbut\tthe\tparamedics\twere\tquick\tto\trespond\tand\tone\tof\tthem grabbed\ta\tdefibrillator\tand\tliterally\tyanked\ther\tbra\toff\tand\tput\tit\ton\ther. \\\"Stand\tback,\\\"\the\ttold\tthe\tcop\tas\tthey\tpulled\tinto\tthe\tdriveway,\t\\\"got\ter,\\\"\ther\tbody received\ta\thuge\tshock,\tand\ther\theart\tstarted\tagain,\tjust\tas\tthe\tdriver\tyanked\topen the\tdoors\tand\ttwo\tattendants\tfrom\tthe\temergency\troom\trushed\tforward.","\\\"She\twas\tin\tcardiac\tarrest\ta\tsecond\tago,\\\"\tthe\tparamedic\twho\thad\tshocked\ther explained\tas\the\tcovered\ther\tbare\tchest\twith\ther\tjacket.\t\\\"I\tthink\twe're\tdealing with\tsome\tinternal\tbleeding\t...\thead\tinjury\t...\\\" He\ttold\tthem\teverything\the\tknew\tand\thad\tseen\tas\tall\tfive\tof\tthem\tran\tinto\tthe emergency\troom,\trunning\tbeside\tthe\tgurney.\tHer\tblood\tpressure\tplummeted again\tas\tsoon\tas\tthey\tgot\tinside,\tbut\tthis\ttime\ther\theart\tdidn't\tstop.\tShe\talready had\tan\tIV\tin\ther,\tand\tthe\tchief\tresident\tcame\tin\twith\tthree\tnurses\tand\tstarted issuing\torders,\tas\tthe\tparamedics\tand\tthe\tpoliceman\tdisappeared,\tand\twent\tto\tthe front\tdesk\tto\tfill\tout\tpapers. \\\"Christ,\tshe's\ta\tmess,\\\"\tone\tof\tthe\tparamedics\twho'd\tcome\tin\twith\ther\tsaid\tto\tthe policeman.\t\\\"Do\tyou\tknow\twhat\thappened\tto\ther?\\\" \\\"Just\tyour\taverage\tNew\tYork\tmugging,\\\"\tthe\tpoliceman\tsaid\tunhappily.\tHe\tcould see\tfrom\ther\tdriver's\tlicense\tthat\tshe\twas\ttwenty-two\tyears\told. It\twas\ttoo\tyoung\tto\tgive\tyour\tlife\tto\ta\tmugger.\tAny\tage\twas,\tbut\tespecially\ta young\tkid\tlike\tthat.\tThere\twas\tno\tway\tof\ttelling\tif\tshe'd\tbeen\tpretty,\tor\tever would\tbe,\tif\tshe\teven\tlived,\twhich\tseemed\tdoubtful. \\\"Looks\tlike\tmore\tthan\ta\tmugging,\\\"\tthe\tparamedic\tsaid,\t\\\"nobody\tcan\tbeat\tup someone\tlike\tthat\tunless\tthey've\tgot\ta\tbeef\twith\tthem.\tMaybe\tit\twas\ther boyfriend.\\\" \\\"In\ta\tdoorway\ton\tDelancey?\tNot\tlikely.\tShe's\twearing\tdesigner\tjeans,\tand\tshe's got\tan\tUpper\tEast\tSide\taddress.\tShe\twas\tmugged.\\\"\tBut\twhen\this\tpartner\twent\tto St.\tAndrew's,\tFather\tTim\tsuspected\tthat\tit\twas\tmore\tthan\tbad\tluck\tthat\thad\tfelled Grace\tAdams.\tHe'd\thad\ta\tvisit\tfrom\tthe\tpolice\tonly\tthe\tday\tbefore\tto\ttell\thim that\ta\twoman\tcalled\tIsell\\\"Jones\thad\tbeen\tmurdered\tby\ther\thusband\tthat\tday,\the had\tkilled\tboth\tof\this\tkids\tas\twell,\tand\tthen\tdisappeared.\tAnd\tthe\tpoliceman\thad suggested\tthat\tFather\tTim\twarn\this\tnurses\tand\tsocial\tworkers\tthat\tthe\tman\twas violent\tand\ton\tthe\trun.\tIt\twas\tpossible\tthat\the\twould\tnever\tcome\tto\tSt.\tAndrew's at\tall.\tOr\the\tmight,\tif\the\tblamed\tthem\tfor\tencouraging\tIsella\tto\tleave\thim\tand\ttry to\tget\thome\tto\tCleveland.\tBut\tit\tnever\tdawned\ton\thim\tto\tsay\tanything\tto\tGrace. She\thad\tbeen\tin\tCalifornia\twhen\tIsella\thad\tshown\tup,\tbeaten\tand\tterrified,\twith her\tchildren. Father\tTim\thad\twarned\tthe\tothers\tand\ttold\tthem\tto\tspread\tthe\tword\tand\twatch out\tfor\ta\tman\tcalled\tSam\tJones.\tThey\thad\tbeen\tgoing\tto\tput\ta\tbulletin\ton\tthe board\tto\talert\teveryone,\tbut\tthey\thad\thad\tso\tmuch\tto\tdo\tfor\tthe\tpast\ttwo\tdays","board\tto\talert\teveryone,\tbut\tthey\thad\thad\tso\tmuch\tto\tdo\tfor\tthe\tpast\ttwo\tdays that\tthey\tnever\tdid\tit. When\tFather\tTim\theard\twhat\thad\thappened\tto\tGrace,\the\twas\tsure\tthat\tthe incident\twas\trelated,\tand\tthey\tput\tout\tan\tAPB\ton\tSam\tJones,\twith\ta\tmug\tshot and\this\tdescription.\tHe'd\tbeen\tin\tplenty\tof\ttrouble\tbefore\tand\the\thad\ta\trecord\tan arm\tlong,\tand\ta\thistory\tof\tviolence.\tIf\tthey\tever\tfound\thim,\tthe\tmurder\tof\this wife\tand\tkids\twould\tput\thim\taway\tforever,\tnot\tto\tmention\twhat\the\thad\tdone\tto Grace\tin\tthe\tdoorway\ton\tDelancey. Father\tTim\tlooked\tsick\twhen\the\tasked\thim,\t\\\"How\tbad\tis\tit?\\\" \\\"It\tlooked\tpretty\tbad\twhen\tthe\tambulance\tleft,\tFather.\tI'm\tsorry.\\\" \\\"So\tam\tI.\\\"\tThere\twere\ttears\tin\this\teyes,\tas\the\tpulled\toff\ta\tblack\tT-shirt,\tand grabbed\ta\tblack\tshirt\twith\ta\tRoman\tcollar.\t\\\"Can\tyou\tgive\tme\ta\tride\tto\tthe hospital?\\\" \\\"Sure,\tFather.\\\"\tFather\tTim\tquickly\ttold\tSister\tEugene\twhere\the\twas\tgoing,\tand hurried\tout\tto\tthe\tpatrol\tcar\twith\tthe\tofficer.\tFour\tminutes\tlater\tthey\twere\tat Bellevue.\tGrace\twas\tstill\tin\tthe\temergency\troom\tand\ta\twhole\tteam\tof\tdoctors and\tnurses\twas\tworking\ton\ther.\tBut\tso\tfar,\tnone\tof\tthem\twas\tencouraged\tby\tthe results.\tShe\twas\tbarely\thanging\ton\tat\tthat\tmoment. \\\"How\tis\tshe?\\\"\tFather\tTim\tasked\tthe\tnurse\tat\tthe\tdesk. \\\"Critical.\tThat's\tall\tI\tknow.\\\"\tAnd\tthen\tshe\tlooked\tat\thim,\the\twas\ta\tpriest\tafter all,\tand\tshe\tprobably\twasn't\tgoing\tto\tmake\tit.\tThat's\twhat\tone\tof\tthe\tinterns\thad told\ther.\tShe\twas\tso\tbashed\tup\tinside,\tit\twas\talmost\thopeless.\t\\\"Do\tyou\twant\tto see\ther?\\\"\tHe\tnodded,\tfeeling\tresponsible\tfor\twhat\thad\thappened.\tSam\tJones\thad gone\tafter\tGrace,\tand\tnearly\tkilled\ther. Father\tTim\tfollowed\tthe\tnurse\tinto\tthe\troom\tand\the\twas\tshocked\tat\twhat\the\tsaw there.\tThree\tnurses\twere\thovering\tover\ther,\ttwo\tinterns,\tand\tthe\tresident.\tShe was\talmost\tnaked,\tswathed\tin\tsheets,\tand\ther\twhole\tbody\twas\tblack\tit\twas\tso bruised\tand\tswollen.\tHer\tface\tlooked\tlike\ta\tdeep\tpurple\tmelon.\tShe\twas\tcovered in\tice\tpacks,\tswathed\tin\tbandages,\tthere\twere\tscreens\tand\tscans\tand\tIVs\tand instruments\teverywhere.\tIt\twas\tthe\tworst\tthing\the'd\tever\tseen,\tand\tat\ta\tnod\tfrom the\tresident,\the\tgave\ther\tlast\trites.\tHe\tdidn't\teven\tknow\twhat\treligion\tshe\twas, but\tit\tdidn't\tmatter.","She\twas\ta\tchild\tof\tGod,\tand\tHe\tknew\thow\tmuch\tshe\thad\tgiven\tHim. Father\tTim\twas\tcrying\tas\the\tstood\tin\tthe\tcorner\tand\tprayed\tfor\ther,\tand\tit\twas hours\tbefore\tthey\tstopped\tworking\ton\ther,\tand\tlooked\tup.\tHer\thead\twas wrapped\tin\tbandages\tby\tthen,\tthey\thad\tstitched\tup\ther\tface\tand\ther\tthroat.\tHe had\tonly\tused\tthe\tknife\ton\ther\tneck,\the\thad\tlacerated\ther\tface\twith\this\tfist.\tOne arm\twas\tbroken,\tand\tfive\tribs.\tAnd\tthey\twere\tgoing\tto\toperate\tas\tsoon\tas\tshe was\tstable.\tThey\tknew\tby\tthen\tfrom\tscans\tthat\tshe\thad\ta\truptured\tspleen,\tand\the had\tdamaged\ther\tkidneys,\tand\ther\tpelvis\twas\tbroken\ttoo. \\\"Is\tthere\tanything\the\tdidn't\tget?\\\"\tFather\tTim\tasked\tmiserably. \\\"Not\tmuch.\\\"\tThe\tresident\twas\tused\tto\tit,\tbut\tthis\ttime\tit\tlooked\tbad\teven\tto\thim. She\thad\tbarely\tsurvived\tit.\t\\\"Her\tfeet\tlook\tpretty\tgood.\\\" The\tdoctor\tsmiled\tand\tthe\tpriest\ttried\tto. She\twent\tto\tsurgery\tat\tsix\to'clock\tand\tit\twas\tnoon\tbefore\tthey\twere\tthrough. Sister\tEugene\thad\tjoined\thim\tby\tthen,\tand\tthey\twere\tsitting\ttogether\tquietly, praying\tfor\ther,\twhen\tthe\tchief\tresident\tcame\tto\tfind\tthem. \\\"Are\tyou\ther\tnext\tof\tkin?\\\"\the\tasked,\tconfused\tby\tthe\tpriest's\tcollar. At\tfirst\the'd\tjust\tthought\the\twas\tthe\thospital\tpriest,\tbut\tnow\the\trealized\tthat\the was\tthere\tspecifically\tfor\tGrace,\tas\twas\tthe\twoman\twith\thim. \\\"Yes,\tI\tam,\\\"\tFather\tTim\tsaid\twithout\thesitation.\t\\\"How\tis\tshe?\\\" \\\"She\tmade\tit\tthrough\tthe\tsurgery.\tWe\ttook\tout\ther\tspleen,\tpatched\tup\ther kidneys,\tput\ta\tpin\tin\ther\tpelvis.\tShe's\ta\tlucky\tgirl,\twe\tmanaged\tto\tget\tall\tthe important\tstuff\tput\tback\ttogether.\tAnd\tthe\thouse\tplastic\tsurgeon\tsewed\tup\ther face\tand\tswears\tit'll\tnever\tshow.\tThe\tbig\tquestion\tmark\tright\tnow\tis\tthe\thead injury.\tEverything\tlooks\tokay\ton\tthe\tE.E.G\tbut\tyou\tcan't\tl\talways\ttell.\tIt\tcould look\tfine\tand\tshe\tmight\tnever\twake\tup\tagain,\tand\tjust\tstay\tin\ta\tcoma.\tWe\tjust don't\tknow\tyet. We'll\tknow\ta\tlot\tmore\tin\tthe\tnext\tfew\tdays,\tFather.\tI'm\tsorry.\\\"\tHe\ttouched\this arm,\tand\tnodded\tat\tthe\tyoung\tnun\tbefore\the\twalked\taway\tto\tget\tsome\trest.\tShe had\tbeen\ta\ttough\tcase,\tbut\tat\tleast\tshe'd\tmade\tit\tand\tthey\thadn't\tlost\ther. For\ta\twhile\tthere,\tit\thad\tbeen\tmighty\tclose.\tGrace\thad\tbeen\tlucky.","For\ta\twhile\tthere,\tit\thad\tbeen\tmighty\tclose.\tGrace\thad\tbeen\tlucky. Before\tthe\tresident\tleft,\tFather\tTim\thad\tthanked\thim\tand\tasked\twhen\tthey\tcould see\ther\tand\the\tsaid\tthat\tas\tsoon\tas\tshe\twas\tout\tof\tthe\trecovery\troom\tin\ta\tfew more\thours,\tshe\twould\tbe\ttaken\tto\tI.C.U\tupstairs. He\tand\tSister\tEugene\twent\tto\tthe\tcafeteria\tfor\tsomething\tto\teat\tthen,\tand\tshe told\tFather\tTim\tthat\the\tshould\tgo\thome\tand\tget\tsome\trest,\tbut\the\tdidn't\twant\tto leave\tyet. \\\"I\twas\tthinking\tthat\tmaybe\twe\tshould\tcall\ther\toffice.\tNo\tone\tknows\twhat's happened\tto\ther,\texcept\tus.\tThey\tmust\tbe\twondering\twhy\tshe\tdidn't\tcome\tin,\\\" which\twas\texactly\tthe\tcase.\tCharles\tMackenzie\thad\thad\tone\tof\tthe\tsecretaries call\ther\thalf\ta\tdozen\ttimes\tat\thome,\tbut\tthere\twas\tno\tanswer.\tShe\tcould\thave overstayed\ton\ta\tweekend\tromance,\tbut\the\tkept\tinsisting\tthat\tit\twasn't\tlike\ther. He\thad\tno\tidea\twho\telse\tto\tcall,\tbut\tfor\tall\the\tknew,\tshe\tcould\thave\tslipped\tand hit\ther\thead\tin\tthe\tbathtub. He\thad\teven\tthought\tof\ttrying\tto\tlocate\ther\tsuperintendent\tbut\tdecided\tto\tlet\tit wait\ttill\tafter\tlunch.\tAs\tsoon\tas\the\tgot\tback,\tthere\twas\ta\tcall\tfrom\tFather Timothy\tFinnegan,\tand\tthe\tsecretary\twho\tanswered\tsaid\tit\twas\tabout\tGrace. \\\"I'll\ttake\tit,\\\"\the\tsaid,\tand\tpicked\tup\tthe\tphone\twith\ta\tsudden\tqueasy\tfeeling. \\\"Hello?\\\" \\\"Mr.\tMackenzie?\\\" \\\"Yes,\tFather,\twhat\tcan\tI\tdo\tfor\tyou?\\\" \\\"Not\ta\tgreat\tdeal,\tI'm\tafraid.\tIt's\tabout\tGrace.\\\"\tCharles\tfelt\this\tblood\trun\tcold. Without\thearing\tmore,\the\tknew\tsomething\tterrible\thad\thappened\tto\ther. \\\"Is\tshe\tall\tright?\\\" There\twas\tan\tendless\tsilence. \\\"I'm\tafraid\tnot.\tShe\thad\ta\tterrible\taccident\tlast\tnight.\tShe\twas\tmugged\tand\tbadly beaten\tafter\tleaving\tSt.\tAndrew's,\tthe\tcrisis\tcenter\twhere\tshe\tdoes\tvolunteer work.\tIt\twas\tlate,\tand\t...\twe\tdon't\tknow\tall\tthe\tdetails\tyet,\tbut\twe're\tafraid\tit\tmay have\tbeen\tthe\tcrazed\thusband\tof\tone\tof\tour\tclients.\tHe\tkilled\this\twife\tand children\ton\tSaturday.\tWe're\tnot\tsure\tif\tit\twas\the\tthat\tattacked\tGrace.\tBut whoever\tdid\tit,\tbeat\tGrace\twithin\ta\thair\tof\tkilling\ther.\\\"","whoever\tdid\tit,\tbeat\tGrace\twithin\ta\thair\tof\tkilling\ther.\\\" \\\"Where\tis\tshe?\\\"\tCharles's\thand\tshook\tas\the\tgrabbed\this\tpen\tand\ta\tnotepad. \\\"She's\tat\tBellevue.\tShe's\tjust\tcome\tout\tof\tsurgery.\\\" \\\"How\tbad\tis\tit?\\\"\tIt\twas\tso\tunfair,\tshe\twas\tso\tyoung,\tand\tso\talive,\tand\tso\tpretty. \\\"Pretty\tbad.\tShe\tlost\ther\tspleen,\tthough\tthe\tdoctor\tsays\tshe\tcan\tlive\twithout\tit. Her\tkidneys\tare\tdamaged,\tshe\thas\ta\tbroken\tpelvis\tand\thalf\ta\tdozen\tbroken\tribs. Her\tface\twas\tpretty\tbadly\tcut\tup,\tand\the\tsliced\ther\tthroat\tbut\tonly\tsuperficially. The\tworst\tof\tit\tis\tthat\tshe\thas\ta\thead\tinjury.\tThat's\tthe\tmain\tconcern\tnow.\tThey said\twe'll\tjust\thave\tto\twait\tand\tsee.\tI'm\tsorry\tto\tcall\twith\tsuch\tbad\tnews.\tI\tjust thought\tyou'd\twant\tto\tknow,\\\"\tand\tthen,\the\tdidn't\tknow\twhy\the\ttold\thim,\tbut\the felt\the\thad\tto,\t\\\"She\tthinks\ta\tlot\tof\tyou,\tMr.\tMackenzie.\tShe\tthinks\tyou're\ta\tgreat person.\\\" \\\"I\tthink\tthe\tworld\tof\ther\ttoo.\tIs\tthere\tanything\twe\tcan\tdo\tfor\ther\tat\tthis\tpoint?\\\" \\\"Pray.\\\" \\\"I\twill,\tFather,\tI\twill.\tAnd\tthank\tyou.\tLet\tme\tknow\tif\tthere's\tany\tchange,\twill you?\\\" \\\"Of\tcourse.\\\" The\tmoment\the\thung\tup,\tCharles\tMackenzie\tcalled\tthe\thead\tof\tBellevue,\tand\ta neurosurgeon\the\tknew\twell,\tand\tasked\thim\tto\thave\ta\tlook\tat\tGrace\timmediately. The\thead\tof\tthe\thospital\thad\tpromised\tto\tput\ther\tin\ta\tprivate\troom,\tand\tsee\tthat she\thad\tprivate\tnurses.\tBut\tfirst\tshe\twas\tgoing\tto\tintensive\tcare,\twhere\tthey\twere experts\tat\tdealing\twith\ttrauma. Charles\tcouldn't\tbelieve\twhat\tthey'd\ttold\thim\twhen\the\tcalled\tthe\thospital.\tHe remembered\ttelling\ther\thow\tdangerous\tthe\tneighborhood\twas,\tand\tthat\tshe should\tbe\ttaking\tcabs.\tAnd\tnow\tlook\twhat\thad\thappened.\tHe\tfelt\tshaken\tfor\tthe rest\tof\tthe\tafternoon,\tand\the\tcalled\tat\tfive\tand\tasked\tif\tthere\twas\tany improvement.\tShe\twas\tin\tintensive\tcare\tby\tthen,\tbut\tthey\tdidn't\thave\tany\tnews. She\twas\tlisted\tas\tcritical.\tAnd\tat\tsix\to'clock,\the\twas\tstill\tat\tthe\toffice\twhen\this neurosurgeon\tfriend\tcalled\thim\tback. \\\"You\twouldn't\tbelieve\twhat\tthat\tguy\tdid\tto\ther,\tCharles.\tIt's\tinhuman.\\\"","\\\"You\twouldn't\tbelieve\twhat\tthat\tguy\tdid\tto\ther,\tCharles.\tIt's\tinhuman.\\\" \\\"Will\tshe\tbe\tall\tright?\\\"\tCharles\tasked\thim\tsadly.\tHe\thated\tto\tsee\tsomething\tlike that\thappen\tto\ther,\tor\tanyone.\tAnd\the\twas\tsurprised\tto\trealize\thow\tfond\tof\ther he\thad\tgrown.\tShe\twas\tso\tyoung,\tshe\tcould\thave\tbeen\this\tdaughter,\the\trealized, feeling\tstartled. \\\"She\tcould\tbe\tall\tright,\\\"\tthe\tdoctor\tanswered.\t\\\"It's\thard\tto\tsay\tyet. The\tother\tinjuries\tshould\theal\tpretty\twell.\tThe\thead\tis\tanother\tstory. She\tcould\tbe\tfine,\tor\tshe\tcouldn't.\tIt\tall\tdepends\tif\tshe\tcomes\tout\tof\tit\tin\tthe\tnext few\tdays.\tShe\tdidn't\tneed\tbrain\tsurgery,\twhich\tis\tfortunate,\tbut\tthere's\tgoing\tto be\tsome\tswelling\tfor\ta\twhile.\tWe\tjust\thave\tto\tbe\tpatient.\tIs\tshe\ta\tfriend\tof yours?\\\" \\\"My\tsecretary.\\\" \\\"Damn\tshame.\tShe's\tjust\ta\tkid,\tfrom\twhat\tI\tsaw\ton\tthe\tchart.\tAnd\tthere's\tno family,\tis\tthere?\\\" \\\"I\tdon't\treally\tknow.\tShe\tdoesn't\ttalk\tabout\tit.\tShe\tnever\ttold\tme.\\\" It\tmade\thim\twonder\tnow\twhat\ther\tsituation\twas.\tShe\tnever\ttalked\tabout\ther personal\tlife\tand\tfamily.\tHe\tknew\talmost\tnothing\tabout\ther. \\\"I\tspoke\tto\ta\tnun\twho\twas\tsitting\twith\ther.\tThe\tpriest\twho\tcame\tin\tearlier\thad apparently\tgone\thome\tto\trest.\tBut\tthe\tSister\tsays\tshe\thas\tno\tone\tin\tthe\tworld. That's\tpretty\trough\tfor\ta\tyoung\tkid.\tThe\tSister\tsays\tshe's\ta\tnice-looking\tgirl, though\tit's\ta\tlittle\thard\tto\ttell\tat\tthe\tmoment.\tThe\tplastic\tresident\tsewed\ther\tup\tso she\tshould\tlook\tokay. It's\tjust\tthe\thead\twe\thave\tto\tworry\tabout\tnow.\\\"\tCharles\tfelt\tsick\twhen\the\thung up.\tIt\twas\ttoo\tmuch\tto\tbear.\tAnd\thow\tcould\tshe\tnot\thave\tany\tfamily?\tHow\tcould she\tbe\talone\tat\ttwenty-two?\tThat\tdidn't\tmake\tsense\tto\thim.\tAll\tshe\thad\twas\ta nun\tand\tpriest\twith\ther.\tIt\twas\thard\tto\tbelieve\tshe\thad\tno\tone\telse,\tbut\tmaybe she\tdidn't. He\tsat\tat\this\tdesk\tfor\tanother\thour,\ttrying\tto\twork,\tand\tgot\tnowhere,\tand\tfinally he\tcouldn't\tstand\tit\tany\tlonger. At\tseven\to'clock\the\ttook\ta\tcab\tdown\tto\tBellevue,\tand\twent\tto\tthe\tI.C.U.","At\tseven\to'clock\the\ttook\ta\tcab\tdown\tto\tBellevue,\tand\twent\tto\tthe\tI.C.U. Sister\tEugene\thad\tleft\tby\tthen\ttoo,\tthough\tthey\twere\tcalling\tregularly\tfrom\tSt. Andrew's\tfor\tnews,\tand\tFather\tTim\thad\tsaid\the'd\tbe\tback\tlater\tthat\tnight\twhen things\tsettled\tdown\tat\tthe\tshelter.\tBut\tthere\twere\tonly\tnurses\twith\ther\tnow,\tand for\tthe\tmoment\tnothing\thad\tchanged\tsince\tthat\tmorning. Charles\twent\tand\tsat\twith\ther\tfor\ta\twhile,\tunable\tto\tbelieve\twhat\tshe\tlooked like.\tShe\twould\thave\tbeen\tcompletely\tunrecognizable,\texcept\tfor\ther\tlong, graceful\tfingers.\tHe\theld\ther\thand\tin\this\town\tand\tgently\tstroked\tit. \\\"Hi\tGrace,\tI\tcame\tdown\tto\tsee\tyou.\\\"\tHe\tspoke\tquietly,\tso\the\twouldn't\tdisturb anyone,\tbut\the\twanted\tto\tsay\tsomething\tto\ther,\ton\tthe\toff\tchance\tthat\tshe\tcould hear\thim,\talthough\tit\tcertainly\tseemed\tunlikely\tin\tthe\tstate\tshe\twas\tin.\t\\\"You're going\tto\tbe\tfine,\tyou\tknow\t...\tand\tdon't\tforget\tthat\tdinner\tat\t21.\\\"\tI'll\ttake\tyou there\tmyself\tif\tyou\thurry\tup\tand\tget\twell\t...\tand\tyou\tknow,\tit\twould\tbe\tnice\tif you\twould\topen\tyour\teyes\tfor\tus\t...\tit's\tnot\ttoo\texciting\tlike\tthis.\t...\topen\tyour eyes\t...\tthat's\tright,\tGrace\t...\topen\tyour\teyes.\t...\\\"\tHe\twent\ton\ttalking\tsoothingly\tto her,\tand\tjust\tas\the\twas\tthinking\tabout\tleaving\ther,\the\tsaw\ther\teyelids\tflutter\tand signaled\tto\tthe\tnurses\tat\tthe\tdesk.\tHis\theart\twas\tpounding\tat\twhat\the'd\tseen.\tHer survival\twas\tvital\tto\thim.\tHe\twanted\ther\tto\tlive.\tHe\tbarely\tknew\ther,\tbut\the didn't\twant\tto\tlose\ther.\t\\\"I\tthink\tshe\tmoved\ther\teyelids,\\\"\the\texplained. \\\"It's\tprobably\tjust\ta\treflex,\\\"\tthe\tnurse\tsaid\twith\ta\tsympathetic\tsmile. But\tthen\tshe\tdid\tit\tagain,\tand\tthe\tnurse\tstood\tand\twatched\ther. \\\"Move\tyour\teyes\tagain,\tGrace,\\\"\the\tsaid\tquietly.\t\\\"Come\ton,\tI\tknow\tyou\tcan\tdo\tit. Yes,\tyou\tcan.\\\"\tAnd\tshe\tdid.\tAnd\tthen\tshe\topened\tthem\tbriefly,\tmoaned,\tand closed\tthem.\tHe\twanted\tto\tshout\twith\texcitement. \\\"What\tdoes\tthat\tmean?\\\"\the\tasked\tthe\tnurse. \\\"That\tshe's\tregaining\tconsciousness.\\\"\tShe\tsmiled\tat\thim.\t\\\"I'll\tcall\tthe\tdoctor.\\\" \\\"That\twas\tgreat,\tGrace,\\\"\the\tpraised\ther,\tstroking\ther\tfingers\tagain,\twilling\ther\tto live,\tjust\tto\tprove\tshe\tcould\tdo\tit,\tjust\tso\tone\tmore\tmugger\twouldn't\twin\ta\tlife\the didn't\tdeserve\tto\ttake.\t\\\"Come\ton,\tGrace\t....\tyou\tcan't\tjust\tlie\tthere,\tsleeping\t... we've\tgot\twork\tto\tdo.\t...\that\tabout\tthat\tletter\tyou\tpromised\tme\tyou'd\tdo\t...\\\"\tHe was\tsaying\tanything\the\tcould\tthink\tof\tand\tthen\the\talmost\tcried\twhen\the\tsaw\ther frown,\tthe\teyes\topened\tagain\tand\tshe\tstared\tat\thim\tblankly.","frown,\tthe\teyes\topened\tagain\tand\tshe\tstared\tat\thim\tblankly. \\\"\t...\tWhat\t...\tletter...\\\"\tshe\tcroaked\tthrough\tbruised\tswollen\tlips\tas\ther\teyes\tclosed again,\tand\tthis\ttime\the\tdid\tcry.\tThe\ttears\trolled\tdown\this\tcheeks\tas\the\tlooked\tat her.\tShe\thad\theard\thim. And\tthen\tthe-doctor\tcame,\tand\tCharles\texplained\twhat\thad\thappened. They\tdid\tanother\tE.E.G\ton\ther,\tand\ther\tbrain\twaves\twere\tstill\tnormal,\tbut\tnow her\treactions\twere\tslowly\treturning.\tShe\tturned\taway\twhen\tthey\ttried\tto\tshine\ta light\tin\ther\teyes,\tand\tshe\tmoaned\tand\tthen\tcried\twhen\tthey\ttouched\ther.\tShe\twas in\tpain,\twhich\tthey\tthought\twas\ta\tgreat\tsign. Now\tshe\twould\thave\tto\tmove\tthrough\tvarious\tstages\tof\tmisery\tin\torder\tto improve. And\tat\tmidnight,\tCharles\twas\tstill\tthere\twith\ther,\the\tcouldn't\tbring\thimself\tto leave\ther.\tBut\tit\tappeared\tnow\tthat\ther\tbrain\twas\tnot\tdamaged.\tThey\twould\thave to\tdo\tmore\ttests,\tand\tthey\thad\tto\tbe\tsure\tthat\tthere\twas\tno\tfurther,\thidden trauma,\tbut\tit\tlooked\tas\tthough\tshe\twould\tin\tfact\trecover\tand\tbe\tall\tright eventually. Father\tTim\thad\tcome\tback\tby\tthen,\tand\the\twas\tin\tI.C.U\ttoo\twhen\tthe\tdoctor\ttold Charles\tthat\tthe\tprognosis\tlooked\tpretty\tgood.\tAnd\tthen\tthe\ttwo\tmen\twent\tout into\tthe\thall\tto\ttalk\twhile\tone\tof\tthe\tnurses\tattended\tto\tGrace\tand\tgave\ther\ta\tshot for\tthe\tpain.\tShe\twas\tin\tagony\tfrom\tall\ther\tbruises\tand\tthe\toperation,\tand\tthe damage\tto\ther\thead\tand\tface. \\\"My\tGod,\tshe's\tgoing\tto\tmake\tit,\\\"\tFather\tTim\tsaid\twith\ta\tlook\tof\tjoy\tand excitement.\tHe\thad\tprayed\tfor\ther\tall\tday,\tand\thad\ttwo\tmasses\tsaid\tfor\ther.\tAnd all\tthe\tnuns\twere\tpraying\tfor\ther\tthat\tnight.\t\\\"What\ta\tgreat\tgirl\tshe\tis.\\\"\tThey\thad also\tcaught\tSam\tJones\tearlier\tthat\tnight,\tand\tcharged\thim\twith\tthe\tmurder\tof\this wife\tand\ttwo\tchildren,\tand\tthe\tattempted\tmurder\tof\tGrace\tAdams.\tHe\thad admitted\tmugging\ther,\tbecause\tshe\twas\tthe\tfirst\tone\the\tsaw\tcome\tout\tof\tSt. Andrew's,\tand\the\tfelt\tthat\tthat\twas\twhere\tall\this\ttroubles\tbegan.\t\\\"You\tdon't know\thow\tmuch\tshe's\tdone\tfor\tus,\tMr.\tMackenzie.\tThe\tgirl\tis\ta\tsaint,\\\"\tFather Tim\tsaid\tto\tCharles\tin\tthe\thallway. \\\"Why\tdoes\tshe\tdo\tit?\\\"\tCharles\tlooked\tpuzzled,\tas\tthe\ttwo\tmen\tsat\tdrinking coffee.\tThey\tsuddenly\tfelt\tlike\tbrothers,\tand\tthey\twere\tboth\trelieved\tthat\tGrace was\tgoing\tto\trecover.","was\tgoing\tto\trecover. \\\"I\tthink\tthere's\ta\tlot\tabout\tGrace\tthat\tnone\tof\tus\tknow,\\\"\tFather\tTim\tsaid\tquietly. \\\"I\tdon't\tthink\tthe\tlife\tof\tbattered\twomen\tand\tchildren\tis\tnew\tto\ther.\tI\tthink\tshe's a\tgirl\twho's\tsuffered\ta\tgreat\tdeal\tand\tsurvived\tit,\tand\tnow\tshe\twants\tto\thelp others\tdo\tthe\tsame.\tShe'd\tmake\ta\tgreat\tnun,\\\"\the\tgrinned,\tand\tCharles\tpointed\ta finger\tat\thim. \\\"Don't\tyou\tdare!\tShe\tshould\tget\tmarried\tand\thave\tkids.\\\" \\\"I'm\tnot\tsure\tshe\tever\twill,\\\"\tFather\tTim\tsaid\thonestly.\t\\\"I\tdon't\tthink\tthat's\twhat she\twants,\tto\tbe\thonest.\tSome\tof\tthem\theal,\tthe\tway\tshe\thas,\tbut\tmany\tof\tthe children\twho\tsuffer\tlike\tthe\tones\twe\tsee\tcan\tnever\tcross\tover\tinto\ta\tlife\twhere they\tcan\ttrust\tenough\tto\tbe\twhole\tpeople\tagain. I\tthink\tit's\tmiraculous\tif\tthey\tcome\tas\tfar\tas\tGrace\thas,\tand\tcan\tgive\tso\tmuch\tto others.\tMaybe\twanting\tmore\tthan\tthat\tis\ttoo\tmuch\tto\task.\\\" \\\"If\tshe\tcan\tgive\tto\tso\tmany,\twhy\tnot\tto\ta\thusband?\\\" \\\"That's\ta\tlot\tharder.\\\"\tFather\tTim\tsmiled\tphilosophically\tat\thim,\tand\tthen\tdecided to\tadmit\tsomething\tto\thim.\tIt\tmight\tgive\thim\tan\tinsight. \\\"She\twas\tdesperately\tafraid\tto\tgo\tto\tCalifornia\twith\tyou.\tAnd\teternally\tgrateful when\tyou\tdidn't\thurt\ther,\tor\tuse\ther.\\\" \\\"\tUse'\ther?\tWhat\tdo\tyou\tmean?\\\" \\\"I\tthink\tshe's\tseen\ta\tlot\tof\tpain.\tA\tlot\tof\tmen\tdo\tunspeakable\tthings.\tWe\tsee\tit every\tday.\tI\tthink\tshe\tfully\texpected\tyou\tto\tdo\tsomething\tunsuitable\tto\ther.\\\" Charles\tMackenzie\tlooked\tembarrassed\tat\tthe\tmere\tidea\tof\tit,\tand\the\twas horrified\tthat\tshe\twould\tthink\tthat\tof\thim,\tand\teven\tsay\tit\tto\tanother\tperson. \\\"I\tguess\tthat's\twhy\tshe\twas\tso\tupset\twhen\tshe\tfirst\tcame\tto\tmy\toffice. She\tdidn't\ttrust\tme.\\\" \\\"Probably.\tShe\tdoesn't\ttrust\tanyone\ta\tgreat\tdeal.\tAnd\tI\tdon't\tsuppose\tthis\twill help.\tBut\tat\tleast\tthis\twasn't\tpersonal.\tThat's\tvery\tdifferent.\tIt's\twhen\tsomeone you\tlove\treally\thurts\tyou\tthat\tit\tdestroys\tthe\tsoul\t...\tlike\ta\tmother\twith\ta\tchild,\tor a\tman\tand\ta\twoman.\\\"","He\twas\ta\twise\tman\tand\tCharles\tlistened\tto\thim\twith\tinterest,\twondering\thow much\tof\twhat\the\tsaid\tapplied\tto\tGrace.\tIt\tsounded\tlike\the\twasn't\tsure\tof\ther history\teither,\tand\tCharles\twondered\tif\the\tcould\tbe\twrong\tabout\ther.\tBut\the seemed\tto\tknow\tGrace\ta\tlot\tbetter\tthan\tCharles\tdid. And\tthe\tthings\the\tsaid\tabout\ther\ttore\tat\this\theart.\tHe\twondered\twhat\tterrible things\thad\thappened\tto\ther\tto\tleave\ther\tso\tbadly\tscarred\tas\ta\twoman.\tHe\tcouldn't even\tbegin\tto\timagine\twhat\tlay\tbehind\ther\tcool\tfacade\tand\tgentle\tmanner. \\\"Do\tyou\tknow\tanything\tat\tall\tabout\ther\tparents?\\\"\tCharles\twas\tcurious\tabout\ther now. \\\"She\tnever\ttalks\tabout\tthem.\tI\tonly\tknow\tthey're\tdead.\tShe\thas\tno\tfamily\tat\tall. But\tI\tdon't\tthink\tthat\tbothers\ther.\tShe\tcame\there\tfrom\tChicago.\tShe\tnever\ttalks about\trelatives\tor\tfriends.\tI\tthink\tshe's\ta\tvery\tlonely\tgirl,\tbut\tshe\taccepts\tit.\tHer only\tinterest\tis\tworking\tfor\tyou,\tand\tcoming\tto\tSt.\tAndrew's.\tShe\tworks\ttwenty- five\tor\tthirty\thours\ta\tweek\tthere.\\\" \\\"That\tdoesn't\tleave\tmuch\ttime\tfor\tanything\telse\texcept\tsleeping. She\tworks\tforty-five\tor\tfifty\tfor\tme.\\\" \\\"That's\tthe\twhole\tof\tit,\tMr.\tMackenzie.\\\" Charles\twas\tdying\tto\ttalk\tto\ther\tnow,\tto\task\ther\tquestions\tabout\ther\tlife,\tto\task her\twhy\tshe\treally\tworked\tat\tSt.\tAndrew's.\tSuddenly\tshe\twasn't\tjust\ta\tgirl\the worked\twith\tevery\tday,\tshe\twas\ta\tgreat\tdeal\tmore\tinteresting\tthan\tthat,\tand\tthere were\ta\tthousand\tquestions\the\twanted\tto\task\ther. The\tnurse\tlet\tthem\tback\tin\tthen.\tAnd\tFather\tTim\tstood\ta\tlittle\tapart\tto\tlet Charles\ttalk\tto\ther\tabout\ttrivial\tthings.\tHe\tsensed\tthat\tthere\twas\tmore\tinterest there\tthan\tthe\tman\tknew,\tor\tthan\tGrace\tsuspected. She\twas\tfuzzy\tagain\twhen\tCharles\tsat\tdown\tat\ther\tbedside,\tthe\tshot\thad\tmade her\twoozy,\tbut\tat\tleast\tshe\twasn't\tin\tas\tmuch\tpain. \\\"Thank\tyou\t...\tfor\tcoming\t...\\\"\tShe\ttried\tto\tsmile\tbut\ther\tlips\twere\tstill\ttoo swollen. \\\"I'm\tso\tsorry\tthis\thappened\tto\tyou,\tGrace.\\\"\tHe\twas\tgoing\tto\thave\ta\ttalk\twith\ther about\tworking\tat\tSt.\tAndrew's,\tbut\tthat\twould\tcome\tlater,\tif\tshe'd\tlisten.\t\\\"They","about\tworking\tat\tSt.\tAndrew's,\tbut\tthat\twould\tcome\tlater,\tif\tshe'd\tlisten.\t\\\"They caught\tthe\tguy\twho\tdid\tit.\\\" \\\"He\twas\t...\tangry\t...\tabout\this\twife\t...\tIsella.\\\"\tShe\twould\tremember\tthe\twoman's name\tforever. \\\"I\thope\tthey\thang\thim,\\\"\tCharles\tsaid\tangrily,\tand\tshe\topened\ther\teyes\tand looked\tat\thim\tagain.\tAnd\tthis\ttime\tshe\tdid\tmanage\ta\tsmall\tsmile,\tlooking\tvery dizzy.\t\\\"Why\tdon't\tyou\tsleep\t...\tI'll\tcome\tback\ttomorrow.\\\" She\tnodded,\tand\tFather\tTim\tspent\ta\tfew\tminutes\twith\ther\ttoo,\tand\tthen\tboth men\tleft\tto\tlet\ther\tsleep.\tCharles\tdropped\thim\toff\tat\tthe\tshelter\tin\ta\tcab,\tand\tthen drove\tuptown,\tafter\tpromising\tto\tstay\tin\ttouch\twith\tthe\tyoung\tpriest.\tHe\tliked him.\tAnd\tCharles\thad\talso\tpromised\tto\tcome\tand\tvisit\tthe\tcenter.\tHe\twas\tgoing to,\ttoo,\the\twanted\tto\tknow\tmore\tabout\tGrace,\tand\tthat\twas\tone\tway\tto\tdo\tit. Charles\twent\tback\tto\tvisit\tGrace\tfor\tthe\tnext\tthree\tdays,\tcanceling\this\tlunches\tto be\tthere,\teven\tone\twith\this\tproducer\tfriend,\tbut\the\tdidn't\twant\tto\tlet\tGrace\tdown. When\tthey\tmoved\ther\tto\ta\tprivate\troom,\tCharles\tbrought\tWinnie\tto\tthe\thospital with\thim.\tShe\tcried\twhen\tshe\tsaw\tGrace,\tand\twrung\ther\thands,\tand\tkissed\ther on\tthe\tonly\ttiny\tpatch\tof\ther\tface\twith\tno\tbandages\tor\tbruises.\tShe\tlooked slightly\tbetter\tby\tthen.\tA\tlot\tof\tthe\tswelling\thad\tgone\tdown,\tbut\teverything\thurt, and\tshe\tfound\tshe\tcould\thardly\tmove,\tbetween\ther\tribs\tand\ther\thead,\tand\ther pelvis. Her\tkidneys\twere\thealing\twell,\tand\tthe\tdoctor\tsaid\tshe\twouldn't\tmiss\ther\tspleen, but\tshe\twas\tpretty\tmiserable,\tevery\tinch\tof\ther\tached\tand\tfelt\tas\tthough\tit\thad been\tshattered. On\tSaturday,\talmost\ta\tweek\tafter\tthe\taccident,\tthe\tnurse\tCharles\thad\tinsisted\ton hiring\tfor\ther\tcoaxed\ther\tout\tof\tbed\tand\tmade\ther\twalk\tto\tthe\tbathroom.\tIt\thurt so\tmuch\tto\tdo\tit\tthat\tshe\talmost\tfainted,\tbut\tshe\tcelebrated\ther\tvictory\twith\ta glass\tof\tfruit\tjuice\twhen\tshe\tgot\tback\tto\tbed.\tShe\twas\tsheet\twhite,\tbut\tsmiling, when\tCharles\tarrived\twith\ta\thuge\tbunch\tof\tspring\tflowers.\tHe\thad\tbeen\tbringing flowers\tfor\ther\tdaily,\tand\tmagazines,\tand\tcandy,\tand\tbooks.\tHe\thad\twanted\tto cheer\ther\tup,\tand\the\twasn't\tsure\thow\tto\tdo\tit. \\\"What\tare\tyou\tdoing\there?\\\"\tShe\tlooked\tembarrassed\tto\tsee\thim,\tand\tit\tbrought\ta little\tcolor\tback\tto\ther\tface\twhen\tshe\tblushed.\t\\\"Today's\tSaturday,\tdon't\tyou\thave something\tbetter\tto\tdo?\\\"\tshe\tscolded\thim,\tsounding\tmore\tlike\therself\tthan\tshe had\tin\tdays.\tShe\tlooked\tmore\tlike\therself\ttoo.\tHer\tface\tlooked\tlike\ta\trainbow\tof","had\tin\tdays.\tShe\tlooked\tmore\tlike\therself\ttoo.\tHer\tface\tlooked\tlike\ta\trainbow\tof blues\tand\tgreens\tand\tpurples,\tbut\tthe\tswelling\twas\talmost\tall\tgone,\tand\tthe stitches\twere\thealing\tso\twell\tyou\talmost\tcouldn't\tsee\tthem.\tThe\tonly\tthing Charles\twondered\tabout\tnow\twas\ther\tspirit,\tafter\this\tconversation\twith\tFather Tim\tabout\twhat\tmust\thave\tled\ther\tto\tSt.\tAndrew's\tin\tthe\tfirst\tplace. But\tit\twas\ttoo\tsoon\tto\task\ther\thow\tshe\tfelt\tabout\t\\\"Aren't\tyou\tsupposed\tto\tbe going\taway\tfor\tthe\tweekend?\\\"\tShe\tremembered\tmaking\tarrangements\tfor\thim\tto attend\ta\tregatta\ton\tLong\tIsland.\tShe\thad\trented\thim\ta\tsmall\thouse\tin\tQuogue, and\tnow\tit\twas\twasted\tif\the\tstayed\tin\tNew\tYork. \\\"I\tcanceled.\\\"\tHe\twas\tmatter-of-fact,\tand\twatched\ther\tface\tcarefully. \\\"You're\tlooking\tpretty\tgood.\\\"\tHe\tsmiled\tand\thanded\ther\tsome\tmagazines\the\thad brought\ther.\tAll\tweek\the\thad\tsent\ther\tlittle\ttrinkets,\ta\tbed\tjacket,\tsome\tslippers, a\tpillow\tfor\ther\tneck,\tsome\tcologne.\tIt\twas\tembarrassing,\tbut\tshe\thad\tto\tadmit, she\tliked\tit.\tShe\thad\tmentioned\tit\tto\tWinnie\ton\tthe\tphone,\tand\tthe\tolder\twoman tittered\tlike\tan\told\tmother\then. Grace\thad\tlaughed\tat\ther,\tand\ttold\ther\tthat\tshe\twas\tout\tof\thher\tmind,\tshe\tnever gave\tup\ton\tromance.\t\\\"Of\tcourse\tnot,\\\"\tWinnie\tconfessed\tproudly. She\thad\tpromised\tto\tcome\tand\tvisit\tGrace\ton\tSunday. \\\"I\twant\tto\tgo\thome,\\\"\tGrace\tsaid\tto\tCharles,\tlooking\tmournful. \\\"I\tdon't\tthink\tthat's\tin\tthe\tcards\tfor\ta\twhile,\\\"\tCharles\tsaid\twith\ta\tsmile.\tThey\thad said\tthree\tweeks\tthe\tday\tbefore,\twhich\tdidn't\tappeal\tto\tGrace\tat\tall,\tand\tmeant she'd\tstill\tbe\tin\tthe\thospital\ton\ther\tbirthday. \\\"I\twant\tto\tgo\tback\tto\twork.\\\"\tThey\thad\ttold\ther\tshe'd\tbe\ton\tcrutches\tfor\ta\tmonth or\ttwo,\tbut\tshe\tstill\twanted\tto\tgo\tback\tto\twork\tas\tsoon\tas\tshe\tgot\tout\tof\tthe hospital.\tShe\thad\tnothing\telse\tto\tdo.\tAnd\tshe\talso\twanted\tto\tgo\tback\tto\tSt. Andrew's\tas\tsoon\tas\tthey'd\tlet\ther. \\\"Don't\tpush\tyourself,\tGrace.\tWhy\tdon't\tyou\ttake\tsome\ttime\toff\twhen\tyou\tget out,\tand\tgo\thave\tsome\tfun\tsomewhere?\\\" But\tshe\tonly\tlaughed\tat\tthe\tidea.\t\\\"Where?\tLike\tthe\tRiviera?\\\"\tShe\tcouldn't\tafford the\ttime\tto\tgo\tanywhere\tfor\tvery\tlong.\tMaybe\ta\tweekend\tat\tAtlantic\tCity.\tShe didn't\thave\tany\tvacation\tcoming.\tShe\thadn't\tworked\tat\tthe\tfirm\tlong\tenough\tto qualify\tfor\ta\tweek\toff.\tShe\tknew\tshe\thad\tto\twork\tthere\ta\tyear\tbefore\tshe\tcould","qualify\tfor\ta\tweek\toff.\tShe\tknew\tshe\thad\tto\twork\tthere\ta\tyear\tbefore\tshe\tcould take\ttwo\tweeks\toff.\tIt\twas\talready\ttoo\tmuch\tthat\the\thad\ttold\ther\tthe\tfirm\twould pay\tfor\teverything\ther\tinsurance\tdidn't.\tHer\twhole\tthree\tweeks\tat\tBellevue\tand everything\tthey\thad\tto\tdo\tfor\ther\twould\tprobably\tcost\tclose\tto\tfifty\tthousand dollars. \\\"Sure,\twhy\tnot\tgo\tto\tthe\tRiviera?\tCharter\tyourself\ta\tyacht,\\\"\tCharles\tteased\ther. \\\"Do\tsomething\tfun\tfor\ta\tchange.\\\"\tShe\tlaughed\tat\thim,\tand\tthey\tsat\ttalking\tfor\ta while.\tShe\twas\tsurprised\tby\thow\teasy\tit\twas\tto\ttalk\tto\thim,\tand\the\tdidn't\tseem\tto want\tto\tgo\tanywhere\tat\tall.\tHe\twas\tstill\tthere\twhen\ther\tnurse\twent\tto\tlunch,\tand he\teven\thelped\ther\thobble\tto\tthe\tchair\tclutching\this\tarm,\tand\tgently\tpropped\ta pillow\tbehind\ther\twhen\tshe\tgot\tthere,\tvictorious\tbut\tpale\tand\texhausted. \\\"How\tcome\tyou\tnever\thad\tany\tchildren?\\\"\tshe\tasked\tsuddenly,\tas\tthey\tsat\tand chatted,\tand\the\tfussed\tover\ther\tand\tpoured\ther\ta\tglass\tof\tginger\tale.\tHe\twould have\tmade\ta\tgreat\tfather,\tshe\tthought,\tbut\tdidn't\tsay\tso. \\\"My\twife\thated\tkids,\\\"\the\tsmiled.\t\\\"She\twanted\tto\tbe\ta\tchild\therself. Actresses\tare\tlike\tthat.\tAnd\tI\tindulged\ther,\\\"\the\tsaid,\tsounding\ta\tlittle embarrassed. \\\"Are\tyou\tsorry?\tThat\tyou\tdidn't\thave\tkids,\tI\tmean?\\\"\tShe\tmade\thim\tsound\tvery old,\tas\tthough\tit\twas\ttoo\tlate\tnow,\tand\the\tlaughed\tas\the\tgave\tit\ta\tmoment's careful\tthought. \\\"Sometimes.\tI\tused\tto\tthink\tI'd\tremarry\tand\thave\tchildren\tafter\tMichelle\tleft\tme. But\tmaybe\tnot.\tI\tthink\tI'm\ttoo\tcomfortable\tlike\tthis\tto\tdo\tanything\tdramatic now.\\\"\tIn\tthe\tlast\tcouple\tof\tyears,\the\thad\tgotten\tlazy\tabout\tfinding\ta\tserious involvement.\tHe\tliked\this\ttemporaries,\tand\this\tfreedom\tand\tindependence.\tIt was\ttempting\tto\tstay\tthat\tway\tforever. But\tthe\tquestion\tshe\thad\tasked\thim\topened\ta\tdoor\tfor\thim\tas\twell. \\\"What\tabout\tyou?\tWhy\tdon't\tyou\twant\ta\thusband\tand\tchildren?\\\"\tHe\tknew\ta\tlot more\tabout\ther\tnow,\tbut\tthe\tquestion\tsurprised\ther.\tIt\tcame\tout\tof\tnowhere. \\\"What\tmakes\tyou\tsay\tthat?\\\"\tShe\tlooked\taway\tfrom\thim\tuncomfortably,\tafraid\tof his\tquestion.\tBut\twhen\tshe\tlooked\tback\tinto\this\teyes,\tshe\tsaw\tsomeone\tshe could\ttrust\tthere.\t\\\"How\tdid\tyou\tknow\tthat's\thow\tI\tfelt?\\\"","\\\"A\tgirl\tyour\tage\tdoesn't\tspend\tall\ther\ttime\tdoing\tvolunteer\twork,\tand\twith\tsixty- year-old\tspinsters\tlike\tWinnie,\tunless\tshe's\tgot\tvery\tlittle\tinterest\tin\tfinding\ta husband.\tI\tassume\tthat\tI'm\tcorrect?\\\"\the\tquestioned,\tlooking\tat\ther\tpointedly\twith a\tsmile. \\\"You\tare.\\\" \\\"Why?\\\" She\twaited\ta\tlong\ttime\tbefore\tshe\tanswered.\tShe\tdidn't\twant\tto\tlie\tto\thim,\tbut she\twasn't\tready\tto\ttell\thim\tthe\ttruth\teither.\t\\\"It's\ta\tlong\tstory.\\\" \\\"Does\tit\thave\tto\tdo\twith\tyour\tparents?\\\"\tHis\teyes\tbore\tinto\thers,\tbut\tnot unkindly.\tHe\thad\talready\tproven\tthat\tshe\tcould\ttrust\thim,\tand\tthat\the\tcared about\ther\twelfare. \\\"Yes.\\\" \\\"Was\tit\tvery\tbad?\\\"\tShe\tnodded,\tand\the\tfelt\ta\tdeep\tgrief\tfor\ther.\tIt\thurt\thim\tto think\tof\tanyone\thurting\ther.\t\\\"Did\tanyone\thelp\tyou?\\\" \\\"Not\tfor\ta\tlong\ttime,\tand\tit\twas\ttoo\tlate\tby\tthen.\tIt\twas\tall\tover.\\\" \\\"It's\tnever\tall\tover,\tand\tit's\tnever\ttoo\tlate.\tYou\tdon't\thave\tto\tlive\twith\tthat\tpain for\tthe\trest\tof\tyour\tlife,\tGrace.\tYou\thave\ta\tright\tto\tbe\tfree\tof\tit,\tand\thave\ta\tfuture with\ta\tdecent\tguy.\\\"\tHe\tfelt\tproprietary\tnow\tand\twanted\ther\tto\thave\ta\tgood,\tsolid future. \\\"I\thave\ta\tpresent,\twhich\tmeans\tmore\tto\tme.\tUsed\tto\tbe\tI\tdidn't\teven\thave\tthat.\tI don't\task\ttoo\tmuch\tof\tthe\tfuture,\\\"\tGrace\tsaid\tquietly\twith\ta\tlook\tof\tsorrow. \\\"But\tyou\tshould,\\\"\the\ttried\tto\turge\ther\tforward.\t\\\"You're\tso\tyoung,\tyou're practically\thalf\tmy\tage.\tYour\tlife\tis\tjust\tbeginning.\\\" But\tshe\tshook\ther\thead,\twith\ta\tsmile\tthat\twas\tfull\tof\twisdom\tand\tsadness. \\\"Believe\tme,\tCharles,\\\"\the\thad\tinsisted\tshe\tcall\thim\tthat\tnow\tthat\tshe\twas\tin\tthe hospital,\t\\\"my\tlife\tis\tnot\tbeginning.\tIt's\thalf\tover.\\\" \\\"It\tjust\tfeels\tthat\tway.\tIt\twon't\tbe\tover\tfor\ta\tlong\ttime,\twhich\tis\twhy\tyou\tneed more\tin\tit\tthan\tjust\tworking\tfor\tme,\tand\tat\tSt.\tAndrew's.\\\"","\\\"You\ttrying\tto\tfix\tme\tup\twith\tsomeone?\\\"\tShe\tlaughed,\tstretching\ther\tlong\tlegs before\ther.\tHe\twas\ta\tkind\tman,\tand\tshe\tknew\the\tmeant\twell,\tbut\the\tdidn't\tknow what\the\twas\tdoing.\tShe\twas\tnot\tan\tordinary\ttwenty-two-year-old\tgirl\twith\ta\tfew rocky\tmemories\tand\ta\trosy\tfuture. She\tfelt\tmore\tlike\ta\tsurvivor\tof\ta\tdeath\tcamp,\tand\tin\tsome\tways\tshe\twas. Charles\tMackenzie\thad\tnever\tencountered\tanything\tlike\tthat,\tand\the\twasn't\tsure what\tto\tdo\tfor\ther. \\\"I\twish\tI\tknew\tsomeone\tworth\tfixing\tyou\tup\twith,\\\"\the\tanswered\ther\twith\ta smile.\tAll\tthe\tmen\the\tknew\twere\teither\ttoo\told,\tor\ttoo\tstupid. They\tdidn't\tdeserve\ther. They\ttalked\tof\tother\tthings\tthen,\tsailing,\twhich\the\tloved,\tand\tsummers\ton Martha's\tVineyard\twhen\the\twas\ta\tboy,\tand\tplaces\the'd\tbeen.\tHe\tstill\thad\ta\thouse in\tMartha's\tVineyard,. though\the\trarely\tever\twent\tthere\tanymore.\tThey\tdidn't\ttalk\tabout\tpainful\tthings again,\tand\tat\tthe\tend\tof\tthe\tafternoon,\the\tleft\tand\ttold\ther\tto\tget\tsome\trest.\tHe told\ther\the\twas\tgoing\tto\tsee\tfriends\tin\tConnecticut\tthe\tnext\tday.\tShe\twas touched\tthat\the\tspent\tso\tmuch\ttime\twith\ther. Winnie\tcame\tSunday\tafternoon,\tand\tFather\tTim,\tand\tGrace\twas\tjust\tsettling down\tto\twatching\ttelevision\tbefore\tshe\twent\tto\tsleep\tthat\tnight,\twhen\tCharles strode\tin,\tin\tkhaki\tpants\tand\ta\tstarched\tblue\tshirt,\tlooking\tlike\tan\tad\tin\tGQ,\tand smelling\tlike\tthe\tcountry. \\\"I\twas\ton\tmy\tway\tback\tinto\ttown,\tand\tI\tthought\tI'd\tstop\tby\tand\tsee\thow\tyou were,\\\"\the\tsaid,\tlooking\thappy\tto\tsee\ther.\tAnd\tin\tspite\tof\therself,\tshe\tbeamed\tat him.\tShe\thad\tactually\tmissed\thim\tthat\tafternoon,\tand\tthat\thad\tworried\ther\ta little.\tHe\twas\tonly\ther\tboss\tafter\tall,\tnot\ta\tlifelong\tfriend,\tand\tshe\thad\tno\tright\tto expect\tto\tsee\thim.\tShe\tdidn't,\tbut\tshe\tenjoyed\thim,\tmore\tthan\tshe\twould\tever have\texpected. \\\"Did\tyou\thave\tfun\tin\tthe\tcountry?\\\"\tshe\tasked,\tfeeling\trelieved\tthat\the\twas\tthere. \\\"No,\\\"\the\tsaid\thonestly,\t\\\"I\tthought\tof\tyou\tall\tafternoon.\tYou're\ta\tlot\tmore\tfun than\tthey\twere.\\\"","\\\"Now\tI\tknow\tyou're\tcrazy.\\\"\tHe\tcame\tto\tsit\ton\tthe\tfoot\tof\tthe\tbed\tand\ttold\ther funny\tstories\tabout\tthe\tafternoon,\tand\tin\tspite\tof\therself,\tshe\twas\tdisappointed when\the\tleft.\tIt\twas\tten\to'clock\tby\tthen,\tand\the\tthought\tshe\tshould\tget\tsome sleep,\talthough\the\tdidn't\twant\tto\tleave\teither. But\tthat\tnight,\tas\tshe\tlay\tin\tbed\tand\tthought\tabout\thim,\tshe\tstarted\tto\tpanic. What\twas\tshe\tdoing\twith\thim?\tWhat\tdid\tshe\twant\tfrom\thim?\tIf\tshe\topened\tup\tto him\tlike\tthis,\the\twould\tonly\thurt\ther.\tShe\tforced\therself\tto\tremember\tthe anguish\tand\tembarrassment\tof\tMarcus,\twho\thad\tbeen\tso\tgood\tto\ther\tat\tfirst,\tso patient,\tand\tthen\tbetrayed\ther.\tIt\tterrified\ther\tjust\tthinking\tabout\tCharles.\tMaybe all\tshe\twas\tto\tCharles\tMackenzie\twas\ta\tconquest.\tShe\tcould\tfeel\ther\tchest tighten\tas\tshe\tthought\tabout\tit,\tand\tas\tthough\the\thad\tread\ther\tmind,\tthe\tphone rang\tnext\tto\ther\tbed.\tShe\tcouldn't\timagine\twho\tit\twas,\tbut\tit\twas\tCharles,\tand\the sounded\tworried. \\\"I\twant\tto\tsay\tsomething\tto\tyou\t...\tand\tyou\tmay\tthink\tI'm\tcrazy,\tbut\tI'm\tgoing\tto say\tit\tto\tyou\tanyway\t...\tI\twant\tto\tbe\tyour\tfriend,\tGrace. I\twon't\thurt\tyou,\tbut\tI\tjust\tgot\tworried,\ttrying\tto\timagine\twhat\tyou\twere thinking.\tI\tdon't\tknow\twhat's\thappening.\tI\tjust\tknow\tthat\tI\tthink\tabout\tyou\tall the\ttime,\tand\tI\tworry\tabout\twhat's\thappened\tto\tyou\tin\tthe\tpast,\talthough\tI\tcan't even\timagine\tit\t...\tbut\tI\tdon't\twant\tto\tlose\tyou\t...\tI\tdon't\twant\tto\tscare\tyou\taway, or\tfrighten\tyou,\tor\tmake\tyou\tworry\tabout\tyour\tjob.\tLet's\tjust\tbe\ttwo\tpeople\tfor\ta little\twhile,\ttwo\tpeople\twho\tcare\tabout\teach\tother,\tif\twe\tdo,\tand\tgo\tvery\tslowly from\tthere.\\\"\tShe\tcouldn't\tbelieve\twhat\tshe\twas\thearing,\tbut\tin\ta\tway,\tit\twas\ta relief\tto\thave\thim\tsay\tit. \\\"What\tare\twe\tdoing,\tCharles?\\\"\tshe\tsaid\tnervously.\t\\\"What\tabout\tmy\tjob? We\tcan't\tpretend\tI\tdon't\twork\tfor\tyou.\tWhat\thappens\twhen\tI\tcome\tback?\\\" \\\"You're\tnot\tcoming\tback\tfor\ta\twhile,\tGrace.\tWe'll\tknow\ta\tlot\tmore\tby\tthen.\tI think\twe're\tboth\tfeeling\tsomething\twe\tdon't\tunderstand\tright\tnow.\tMaybe\twe're just\tfriends,\tmaybe\tyour\taccident\tscared\tus\tboth. Maybe\tit's\tmore\tthan\tthat.\tMaybe\tit\tnever\tcan\tbe.\tBut\tyou\tneed\tto\tknow\twho\tI am,\tand\tI\twant\tto\tknow\twho\tyou\tare\t...\tI\twant\tto\tknow\tyour\tpain\t...\twant\tto know\twhat\tmakes\tyou\tlaugh.\tI\twant\tto\tbe\tthere\tfor\tyou\t...\twant\tto\thelp\tyou\t...\\\" \\\"And\tthen\twhat?\tYou\twalk\taway\tfrom\tme?\tYou\tfind\tanother\tsecretary\twho amuses\tyou\tfor\ta\tfew\tweeks\tand\thave\ther\ttell\tyou\tall\ther\tsecrets?\\\"","amuses\tyou\tfor\ta\tfew\tweeks\tand\thave\ther\ttell\tyou\tall\ther\tsecrets?\\\" She\twas\trelieved\tthat\the\tcalled\ther\tbut\tshe\twas\ttoo\tafraid\tto\tlet\therself\ttrust\thim. Charles\tremembered\tFather\tTim's\twords,\tthat\tsome\tof\tthe\tsurvivors\tjust\tcan't\tlet go.\tBut\the\twanted\ther\tto\tbe\tone\twho\tcould,\tno\tmatter\twhat\tit\ttook\tto\tget\tthere. \\\"That's\tnot\tfair,\\\"\tCharles\tchided\ther.\t\\\"I've\tnever\tbeen\tin\ta\tsituation\tlike\tthis before.\tI've\tnever\tgone\tout\twith\tanyone\tat\tthe\tlaw\tfirm,\tor\tanyone\twho\tworked for\tme.\\\"\tAnd\tthen\the\tsmiled\tin\tspite\tof\thimself. \\\"And\tyou\tcan\thardly\tsay\tI'm\tgoing\tout\twith\tyou.\tYou\tcan't\tgo\tanywhere\texcept from\tthe\tbed\tto\tthe\tchair,\tand\teven\tI\twouldn't\thave\tthe\tbad\ttaste\tto\tattack\tyou.\\\" She\tlaughed\tat\twhat\the\tsaid,\tand\ther\tvoice\tsounded\tdeep\tand\tsexy\tas\tshe\tlay\tin bed,\tand\tshe\twanted\tto\tlet\therself\ttrust\thim,\tbut\tshe\tknew\tshe\tcouldn't\t...\tor could\tshe? \\\"I\tjust\tdon't\tknow,\\\"\tGrace\tsaid,\tstill\tsounding\tnervous. \\\"You\tdon't\thave\tto\tknow\tanything\tright\tnow\t...\texcept\tif\tit's\tokay\twith\tyou\tif\tI visit\tyou.\tThat's\tall\tyou\tneed\tto\tdecide\tright\tnow. I\twas\tjust\tafraid\tyou'd\tpanic\tand\tstart\tto\tgo\tcrazy\tonce\tyou\twere\talone,\tand\tgot to\tthinking.\\\"\t\\\"I\twas\t...\ttonight\t...\\\"\tshe\tsaid\thonestly\twith\ta\tlittle\tgirl's\tsmile.\t\\\"I was\tstarting\tto\tpanic\tover\twhat\twe're\tdoing.\\\" \\\"We're\tnot\tdoing\tanything,\tso\tjust\tshut\tup\tand\tget\tbetter.\tAnd\tone\tof\tthese days,\\\"\the\tsaid\tso\tgently,\tit\twas\talmost\ta\tcaress,\t\\\"when\tyou\tfeel\tstrong\tenough,\tI want\tyou\tto\ttell\tme\twhat\thappened\tto\tyou\tin\tthe\tpast. You\tcan't\texpect\tme\tto\treally\tunderstand\ttill\tyou\tdo\tthat.\tHave\tyou\tever\ttold anyone?\\\"\tHe\tworried\tabout\tthat.\tHow\tcould\tshe\tlive\twith\tall\tthose\tdark\tsecrets? \\\"Two\tpeople,\\\"\tshe\tadmitted\tto\thim.\t\\\"A\twonderful\twoman\tI\tknew,\ta\ttherapist\t... she\twas\tkilled\tin\ta\tplane\tcrash\ton\ther\thoneymoon\talmost\tthree\tyears\tago.\tAnd\ta man\twho\twas\tmy\tlawyer,\tbut\tI\thaven't\ttalked\tto\thim\tin\ta\tlong\ttime\teither.\\\" \\\"You\thaven't\thad\ta\tlot\tof\tluck,\thave\tyou,\tGrace?\\\" She\tshook\ther\thead\tsadly,\tand\tthen\tshrugged.\t\\\"I\tdon't\tknow\t...\tlately\tI\thave.\tI can't\tcomplain.\\\"\tShe\tdecided\tto\ttake\ta\thuge\tleap\tthen.","can't\tcomplain.\\\"\tShe\tdecided\tto\ttake\ta\thuge\tleap\tthen. \\\"I\twas\tlucky\twhen\tI\tmet\tyou.\\\"\tSaying\tthose\twords\tto\thim\talmost\tchoked\ther\tand he\tknew\tit. \\\"Not\tas\tlucky\tas\tI\twas.\tNow\tget\tsome\tsleep,\tsweetheart\t...\\\"\the\tsaid\tsoftly\tinto the\tphone,\t\\\"I'll\tcome\tby\tat\tlunch.\tAnd\tmaybe\tI'll\teven\tcome\tback\tfor\tdinner. Maybe\tI\tcan\tbring\tyou\tsomething\tfrom\t21.\\\" \\\"I\twas\tgoing\tto\ttake\tWinnie\tthere\tnext\tweek,\\\"\tshe\tsaid\tguiltily \\\"You'll\thave\tplenty\tof\ttime\tfor\tthat\twhen\tyou're\twell.\tNow\tgo\tto\tsleep,\\\"\the whispered\tto\ther,\twishing\the\tcould\tput\this\tarms\taround\ther\tand\tprotect\ther.\tShe made\thim\tfeel\tdifferent\tthan\the\thad\tever\tfelt\twith\tany\twoman\tbefore.\tAll\the wanted\tto\tdo\twas\ttake\tcare\tof\ther\tand\tkeep\ther\tsafe\tfrom\tharm.\tSo\tmany\tterrible things\tmust\thave\thappened\tto\ther,\teven\tas\trecently\tas\ta\tweek\tago.\tBut\the\twanted to\tchange\tall\tthat\tnow. They\tsaid\tgood\tnight\tand\thung\tup,\tand\tshe\tlay\tthere\tthinking\tabout\thim\tfor\ta long\ttime.\tHe\tfrightened\ther\twith\tthe\tthings\the\tsaid\tto\ther,\tand\this\tpersistent attention,\tbut\toddly\tenough,\tas\tterrifying\tas\tit\twas,\tshe\tliked\tit.\tAnd\tshe\tfelt\ta tingling\tsensation\tin\ther\tgut\tthat\tshe\thad\tnever\tfelt\tbefore\tfor\tany\tman,\tuntil Charles\tMackenzie. Chapter\t12. Charles\tcame\tto\tsee\ther\ttwice\tthe\tnext\tday,\tand\teither\tonce\tor\ttwice\ta\tday\tfor\tthe next\tthree\tweeks,\tuntil\tshe\twas\tfinally\treleased\tfrom\tBellevue.\tShe\tcould\tget around\tmore\teasily\ton\tcrutches\tby\tthen,\tand\ttake\tcare\tof\therself,\tbut\tshe\tstill didn't\thave\tas\tmuch\tstamina\tas\tshe\twould\thave\tliked.\tThe\tdoctor\ttold\ther\tto\twait another\ttwo\tweeks\tbefore\tshe\twent\tback\tto\twork. At\tthe\toffice,\tCharles\twas\tmaking\tdo\twith\ttemps,\tand\tGrace\tfelt\tterribly\tguilty about\tit,\tbut\the\twas\tthe\tfirst\tone\tto\ttell\ther\tnot\tto\trush\tback\tto\twork,\tnot\tto\tcome back\tin\tfact,\tuntil\tshe\twas\tready. They\tspent\thours\ttogether\twhile\tshe\twas\tin\tthe\thospital.\tShe\tknew\the'd\thad\tto cancel\talmost\tall\this\tplans\tto\tbe\twith\ther,\tbut\the\tpretended\tnot\tto\teven\tnotice. They\tlaughed,\tand\tthey\ttalked,\tand\tplayed\tcards,\tand\the\tjoked\twith\ther.\tHe didn't\tforce\tany\tconfidences\tfrom\ther,\tand\the\thelped\ther\twalk\tdown\tthe\thall,\tand promised\ther\tyou\tcouldn't\tsee\ta\tsingle\tscar,\tand\twhen\tshe\tcomplained\tabout\thow horrible\tthe\thospital\tgowns\twere,\the\tbrought\ther\texquisite\tnightgowns\tfrom","horrible\tthe\thospital\tgowns\twere,\the\tbrought\ther\texquisite\tnightgowns\tfrom Pratesi.\tIn\ta\tway,\tit\twas\tall\tembarrassing,\tand\tshe\twas\tstill\tterrified\tof\twhere\tit would\tall\tlead,\tbut\tshe\twas\tno\tlonger\table\tto\tstop\tit.\tIf\the\tdidn't\tcome\tto\tlunch, she\tdidn't\teat,\tand\tif\the\thad\tto\tmiss\tan\tevening\twith\ther,\tshe\twas\tso\tlonely\tshe could\tbarely\tstand\tit. Every\ttime\tshe\tsaw\this\tface\tappear\tin\tthe\tdoorway\tof\ther\thospital\troom,\tshe looked\tlike\ta\tchild\twho\thad\tfound\tits\tonly\tfriend,\tor\tits\tteddy\tbear,\tor\teven\tits mother.\tHe\ttook\tcare\tof\teverything\tfor\ther,\ttalked\tto\tthe\tdoctors,\tcalled\tin consultants,\tfiled\ther\tinsurance.\tNo\tone\tat\tthe\toffice\tknew\thow\tinvolved\the\twas with\ther,\tand\teven\tWinnie\thad\tno\tidea\thow\tmuch\ttime\the\twas\tspending\twith her.\tGrace\thad\thad\ta\tlifetime\tof\tpractice\tat\tkeeping\tsecrets. But\tonce\tshe\twent\thome,\tshe\twas\tfrightened\tagain\tthat\teverything\twould change.\tFor\tabout\ttwo\thours,\tuntil\the\tappeared\tat\ther\tapartment\twith\tchampagne and\tballoons,\tand\ta\tpicnic\tlunch.\tIt\twas\tonly\ttwo\thours\tafter\the\thad\tbrought\ther back\tfrom\tthe\thospital\tin\ta\trented\tlimo\tand\tleft\ther\tbriefly\tto\tdo\tsome\terrands. \\\"What\tare\tpeople\tgoing\tto\tthink?\\\"\tshe\tsaid,\tas\the\tdrove\ther\tfrom\tthe\thospital, back\tto\tEighty-fourth\tstreet.\tShe\timagined\tthat\teveryone\tknew\ther\tboss\twas hanging\tout\twith\ther\tday\tand\tnight,\tand\tthey\twere\tgoing\tto\tput\tit\tup\ton billboards. \\\"I\tdon't\tthink\tanyone\treally\tcares,\tto\ttell\tyou\tthe\ttruth.\tExcept\tus. Everyone\tis\tbusy\tscrewing\tup\ttheir\town\tlives.\tAnd\tfrankly,\tI\tdon't\tthink\twe're screwing\tup\tours.\tYou're\tthe\tbest\tthing\tthat\tever\thappened\tto\tme.\\\" He\trepeated\tthat\tto\ther\twhen\the\tarrived\ton\ther\tdoorstep\twith\ta\tpicnic. More\timportantly,\the\thad\ta\tsmall\tblue\tbox\twith\thim,\tand\tin\tit\twas\ta\tnarrow\tgold bracelet. \\\"What's\tthis\tfor?\\\"\tshe\tsaid,\tawed\tby\this\tgenerosity.\tIt\twas\tfrom\tTiffany,\tand\tit\tfit her\tperfectly,\tbut\tshe\twasn't\tsure\tif\tshe\tshould\taccept\tit. But\the\twas\tlaughing\tat\ther.\t\\\"Do\tyou\tknow\twhat\tday\tthis\tis?\\\"\tShe\tshook\ther head.\tShe\thad\tlost\ttrack\tof\tdates\twhile\tshe\twas\tin\tthe\thospital. She\thad\tspent\tthe\tFourth\tof\tJuly\tthere,\tbut\tshe\thadn't\tpaid\tmuch\tattention\tafter that.\t\\\"It's\tyour\tbirthday,\tsilly\tgirl.\tThat's\twhy\tI\thad\tthem\tlet\tyou\tout\ttoday","that.\t\\\"It's\tyour\tbirthday,\tsilly\tgirl.\tThat's\twhy\tI\thad\tthem\tlet\tyou\tout\ttoday instead\tof\tMonday.\tYou\tcan't\tstay\tin\tthe\thospital\ton\tyour\tbirthday!\\\"\tTears\tfilled her\teyes\tas\tshe\trealized\twhat\the'd\tdone,\tand\the'd\teven\tbrought\ta\tsmall\tbirthday cake\tfor\ther\tfrom\tGreenberg's. It\twas\tall\tchocolate,\tand\tvery\trich,\tand\tincredibly\tgooey\tand\tdelicious. \\\"How\tcan\tyou\tdo\tall\tthis\tfor\tme?\\\"\tShe\tfelt\tshy\twith\thim\tsuddenly,\tbut\tso pleased.\tHe\thad\tdone\tnothing\tbut\tspoil\ther\tsince\tthe\tmugging. Spoil\ther\tand\tbe\tkind\tto\ther,\tand\tspend\ttime\twith\ther.\tNo\tone\thad\tever\tbeen\tas kind\tto\ther\tas\the\twas. \\\"Easy,\tI\tguess,\\\"\the\tanswered,\t\\\"I\tdon't\thave\tkids.\tMaybe\tI\tshould\tadopt\tyou.\tNow there's\ta\tthought.\tThat\tcertainly\tsimplifies\tthings\tfor\tyou,\tdoesn't\tit?\\\"\tShe laughed\tat\tthe\tsuggestion.\tIt\twould\tcertainly\thave\tbeen\teasier\tthan\tdealing\twith her\tfeelings\tand\tfears\tof\tgetting\tinvolved\twith\thim. Their\trelationship\tchanged\tsubtly\tonce\tshe\twas\tback\tin\ther\tapartment. It\twas\tinstantly\tmore\tintimate,\tcloser,\tand\tmore\tdifficult\tto\tpretend\tthat\tthey were\tjust\tfriends.\tThey\twere\tsuddenly\tall\talone\twithout\tnurses\tand\tattendants\tto chaperon\tand\tinterrupt\tthem.\tIt\tmade\tGrace\tfeel\tshy\twith\thim\tat\tfirst,\tand\the pretended\tnot\tto\tnotice.\tHe\thad\tbrought\ta\tfunny\tnurse's\that\twith\thim\twith\ther birthday\tcake\tand\tgift\tand\tpicnic\tlunch,\tand\the\tput\tit\ton,\tand\tforced\ther\tto-go\tto bed\tand\trest.\tHe\twatched\tTV\twith\ther,\tand\tmade\tdinner\tfor\ther\tin\ther\ttiny kitchen. She\thobbled\tout\tto\thelp,\tand\the\tmade\ther\tsit\tin\ta\tchair\tand\twatch,\twhile\tshe protested. \\\"I'm\tnot\thelpless,\tyou\tknow,\\\"\tshe\tobjected\tvociferously. \\\"Yes,\tyou\tare.\tDon't\tforget,\tI'm\tthe\tboss\there,\\\"\the\toverruled\ther,\tand\tshe laughed.\tIt\twas\tso\teasy\tbeing\twith\thim,\tand\tso\tcomfortable. They\tlay\ton\ther\tbed\tafter\tdinner,\tand\ttalked,\tand\the\theld\ther\thand,\tbut\the\twas desperately\tafraid\tto\tgo\tany\tfurther,\tor\tof\twhat\twould\thappen\tif\the\tdid. And\tfinally,\tunable\tto\tstand\tit\tany\tlonger,\the\tturned\tand\tasked\ther\tone\tof\tthe things\the\thad\twanted\tto\tknow\tfor\tweeks\tnow.","\\\"Are\tyou\tafraid\tof\tme,\tGrace?\tI\tmean\tphysically\t...\tI\tdon't\twant\tto\tdo\tanything that\twill\tfrighten\tor\thurt\tyou.\\\"\tShe\twas\ttouched\tthat\the\thad\tasked\ther.\tHe\thad been\tlying\tnext\tto\ther\ton\ther\tbed\tfor\ttwo\thours,\tand\tholding\ther\thand.\tThey were\tlike\told\tfriends,\tbut\tthere\twas\talso\tan\tundeniable\telectricity\tbetween\tthem. And\tnow\tit\twas\tCharles\twho\twas\tfrightened. He\tdidn't\twant\tto\tdo\tanything\tthat\twould\tjeopardize\ttheir\trelationship,\tor\tmake him\tlose\ther. \\\"Sometimes,\tI'm\tafraid\tof\tmen,\\\"\tshe\tsaid\thonestly. \\\"Someone\tdid\tsome\tawful\tstuff\tto\tyou,\tdidn't\tthey?\\\"\tShe\tnodded\tin\tanswer.\t\\\"A stranger?\\\"\tShe\tshook\ther\thead\tand\tthere\twas\ta\tlong\tpause. \\\"My\tfather.\\\"\tBut\tthere\twere\tother\tthings,\tand\tshe\tknew\tshe\tneeded\tto\texplain those\ttoo.\tShe\tsighed,\tand\tpicked\tup\this\thand\tagain\tand\tkissed\this\tfingers.\t\\\"All my\tlife,\tpeople\ttried\tto\thurt\tme,\tor\ttake\tadvantage\tof\tme.\tAfter\t...\tafter\the\twas gone\t...\tmy\tfirst\tboss\ttried\tto\tseduce\tme.\tHe\twas\tmarried,\tI\tdon't\tknow\t...\tit\twas just\tso\tsleazy. He\tjust\tassumed\tthat\the\thad\ta\tright\tto\tuse\tme.\tAnd\tanother\tman\tI\thad\tbusiness dealings\twith\tdid\tthe\tsame\tthing.\\\"\tShe\twas\ttalking\tabout\tLouis\tMarquez\tand didn't\twant\tto\texplain\thim\tto\tCharles\tjust\tyet,\talthough\tshe\tknew\tthat\teventually, if\tthis\tgot\tserious,\tshe'd\thave\tto. \\\"This\tother\tman\tkept\tthreatening,\tthreatened\tthat\tI'd\tlose\tmy\tjob\tif\tI\tdidn't\tsleep with\thim.\tHe\tused\tto\tshow\tup\tat\tmy\tapartment.\tIt\twas\tdisgusting\t...\tand\tthen there\twas\tsomeone\tI\twent\tout\twith.\tHe\tdid\tpretty\tmuch\tthe\tsame\tthing,\tused\tme, made\ta\tfool\tof\tme,\tnever\tgave\ta\tdamn.\tHe\tput\tsomething\tin\tmy\tdrink\tand\tI\tgot horribly\tsick.\tBut\the\tdidn't\trape\tme\tat\tleast.\tAt\tfirst\tI\twas\tafraid\tthat\tmaybe\the had\tafter\the'd\tdrugged\tme,\tbut\the\thadn't.\tHe\tjust\tmade\tme\tlook\tlike\ta\tfool afterwards.\tHe\twas\ta\treal\tbastard.\\\" Charles\tlooked\thorrified.\tHe\tcouldn't\timagine\tpeople\tdoing\tthings\tlike\tthat. Especially\tto\tsomeone\the\tknew.\tIt\twas\tappalling.\t\\\"How\tdid\tyou\tknow\the\thadn't raped\tyou?\\\"\the\tasked\tin\tan\tagonized\tvoice,\tthinking\tof\twhat\tshe\tmust\thave\tbeen through. \\\"My\troommate\ttook\tme\tto\ta\tdoctor\tshe\tknew.\tNothing\thad\thappened. But\the\tpretended\tthat\tit\thad,\tand\ttold\teveryone\tthat.\tHe\ttold\tmy\tboss,\twhich\twas","But\the\tpretended\tthat\tit\thad,\tand\ttold\teveryone\tthat.\tHe\ttold\tmy\tboss,\twhich\twas why\the\twent\tafter\tme,\tand\tI\tguess\twhy\the\texpected\tto\tsleep\twith\tme. That\twas\twhy\tI\tquit\tmy\tjob\tand\tleft\tChicago.\\\" ...\\\"Good\tluck\tfor\tme.\\\"\tHe\tsmiled,\tputting\tan\tarm\taround\ther\tshoulders\tand pulling\ther\tcloser. \\\"Those\twere\tthe\tonly\tmen\tI\treally\thad\tany\tdealings\twith.\tI\tonly\twent\tout\twith that\tone\tguy\tin\tChicago,\tand\the\tmade\ta\treal\tass\tof\tme.\tI\tnever\twent\tout\twith anyone\tin\thigh\tschool\t...\tbecause\tof\tmy\tfather\t...\t.\\\" \\\"Where\tdid\tyou\tgo\tto\tcollege?\\\"\the\tasked,\tand\tshe\tsmiled\tat\tthe\tmemory. \\\"In\tDwight,\tIllinois,\\\"\tshe\tsaid\thonestly. \\\"And\twho\tdid\tyou\tgo\tout\twith\tthere?\\\"\tThis\ttime\tshe\tlaughed,\tremembering\twhat would\thave\tbeen\ther\tchoices. \\\"Not\ta\tsoul.\tIt\twas\tan\tall-girls\tschool,\tso\tto\tspeak.\\\"\tBut\tshe\tknew\tthen\tthat\tshe'd have\tto\ttell\thim\tsoon.\tShe\tjust\tdidn't\twant\tto\ttell\thim\tall\tof\tit\ton\ther\tbirthday.\tIt was\ttoo\thard\tto\tgo\tthrough,\tand\tthey'd\thad\tsuch\ta\tnice\ttime.\tIt\twas\tthe\tbest birthday\tshe'd\tever\thad,\teven\twith\ther\tbroken\tbones\tand\ther\tstitches\tand\ther crutches.\tHe\thad\tmade\tup\tfor\teverything\tand\ta\tlot\tof\tyears\twith\this\tdinner,\tand his\tpresent,\tand\this\tkindness. He\tdidn't\twant\tto\tpush\ther\tmuch\tfurther\tthan\the\talready\thad,\tbut\the\twanted\tto understand\tsomething\tmore\tclearly.\t\\\"Am\tI\tcorrect\tin\tbelieving\tthat\tyou're\tnot\ta virgin?\\\" \\\"That's\tright,\\\"\tshe\tglanced\tup\tat\thim,\tlooking\tbreathtakingly\tbeautiful\tin\ta\tblue satin\tbathrobe\the'd\tbought\ther. \\\"I\tjust\twondered\t...\tbut\tthere\thasn't\tbeen\tanyone\tin\ta\tlong\ttime,\thas\tthere?\\\" She\tnodded.\t\\\"I\tpromise\twe'll\ttalk\tabout\tit\tsometime\t...\tjust\tnot\ttonight\t...\\\"\tHe didn't\twant\tto\ttalk\tabout\tit\ton\ther\tbirthday\teither. He\tsuspected\tcorrectly\tthat\tit\twas\tgoing\tto\tbe\thard\tfor\ther,\tand\the\tdidn't\twant\tto spoil\ttheir\tevening. \\\"Whenever\tyou're\tready\t...\tI\tjust\twanted\tto\tknow\t...\tI\tdon't\tever\twant\tto\tdo","\\\"Whenever\tyou're\tready\t...\tI\tjust\twanted\tto\tknow\t...\tI\tdon't\tever\twant\tto\tdo anything\tthat\tscares\tyou.\\\"\tBut\tas\the\tsaid\tthe\twords,\tand\tshe\thad\ther\tface\tturned up\tto\this,\tlistening\tto\thim,\the\tfound\thimself\tmelting\ttoward\ther\tand\the\tcouldn't help\tit.\tHe\tgently\ttook\ther\tface\tin\this\thands,\tand\tever\tso\tcarefully\tkissed\ther. She\tseemed\tcautious\tat\tfirst,\tand\tthen\the\tfelt\ther\tresponding\tto\thim.\tHe\tlay down\tnext\tto\ther,\tand\theld\ther\tclose\tto\thim,\tand\tkissed\ther\tagain,\twanting\ther desperately,\tbut\the\tnever\tallowed\this\thands\tto\twander\ttoward\ther\tbody. \\\"Thank\tyou,\\\"\tshe\twhispered,\tand\tkissed\thim\tthis\ttime.\t\\\"For\tbeing\tso\tgood\tto\tme, and\tso\tpatient.\\\" \\\"Don't\tpress\tyour\tluck,\\\"\the\talmost\tgroaned\tafter\the'd\tkissed\ther\tagain. This\twas\tnot\tgoing\tto\tbe\teasy.\tBut\the\twas\tdetermined\tto\tbring\ther\tback\tacross the\tbridge\teventually.\tHe\tknew\tthat\twhatever\tit\ttook,\tand\thowever\tlong,\the\twas going\tto\tsave\ther.\tHe\tleft\ther\tapartment\tlate\tthat\tnight,\tafter\the'd\ttucked\ther\tinto bed,\tand\tshe\twas\talmost\tsleeping.\tHe\tkissed\ther\tagain,\tand\tlet\thimself\tout. He\thad\tborrowed\ta\tkey\tfrom\ther,\tso\tshe\tdidn't\thave\tto\tget\tup,\tand\the\tcould\tlock the\tdoor\tbehind\thim.\tAnd\tthe\tnext\tmorning,\tas\tshe\thobbled\tto\tthe\tbathroom\tand brushed\ther\thair,\tshe\tlooked\tstartled\tas\tshe\theard\thim\tlet\thimself\tinto\tthe apartment.\tHe\thad\tbrought\torange\tjuice\tand\tbagels\twith\tcream\tcheese,\tand\tthe New\tYork\tTimes,\tand\the\tmade\ther\tscrambled\teggs\tand\tbacon. \\\"High\tcholesterol,\tit's\tgood\tfor\tyou,\ttrust\tme.\\\"\tShe\tlaughed\tat\thim. And\the\ttold\ther\tto\tget\tdressed.\tHe\ttook\ther\tfor\ta\tshort\twalk\tdown\tFirst\tAvenue, and\tthen\tbrought\ther\tback\twhen\tshe\twas\ttired.\tAnd\the\twatched\tthe\tbaseball game\twhile\tshe\tslept\tin\this\tarms\tthat\tafternoon. She\tlooked\tso\tbeautiful\tand\tso\tpeaceful.\tAnd\twhen\tshe\twoke\tup,\tshe\tlooked\tup at\thim,\twondering\thow\tshe'd\tbeen\tso\tlucky. \\\"What\tare\tyou\tdoing\there,\tMr.\tMackenzie?\\\"\tShe\tsmiled\tsleepily\tat\thim,\tand\the leaned\tdown\tto\tkiss\ther. \\\"I\tcame\tover\tso\tyou\tcould\twork\ton\tyour\tdictation.\\\" \\\"No\tkidding.\\\" They\tordered\tpizza\tthat\tnight,\tand\the\thad\tbrought\tsome\twork\twith\thim,\tbut\the","They\tordered\tpizza\tthat\tnight,\tand\the\thad\tbrought\tsome\twork\twith\thim,\tbut\the absolutely\trefused\tto\tlet\ther\thelp\thim.\tAnd\tafter\the'd\tfinished,\tshe\tlooked\tat\thim, feeling\tguilty.\tIt\tseemed\tlate\tin\tthe\tday\tto\tbe\tkeeping\tsecrets\tfrom\thim,\talthough she\tknew\tthat\the\twould\tnever\tpress\ther. \\\"I\tthink\tI\tought\tto\ttell\tyou\tsome\tthings,\tCharles,\\\"\tshe\tsaid\tquietly\tafter\ta\tfew minutes.\t\\\"You\thave\ta\tright\tto\tknow.\tAnd\tyou\tmay\tfeel\tdifferently\tabout\tme\tafter you\thear\tthem.\\\"\tBut\tit\twas\ttime,\tbefore\tthey\twent\tany\tfurther.\tNot\teveryone wanted\ta\twoman\twho\thad\tcommitted\tmurder. In\tfact,\tshe\tsuspected\tthat\tmost\twouldn't.\tAnd\tmaybe\tCharles\twouldn't\teither. He\ttook\ther\thands\tin\tboth\tof\this,\tbefore\tshe\tstarted\tand\tlooked\ther\tin\tthe\teye squarely.\t\\\"I\twant\tyou\tto\tknow\tthat\twhatever\thappened,\twhatever\tthey\tdid\tto you,\twhatever\tyou\tdid,\tI\tlove\tyou.\tI\twant\tyou\tto\thear\tthat\tnow\t...\tand\tlater.\\\"\tIt was\tthe\tfirst\ttime\the\thad\ttold\ther\tthat\the\tloved\ther,\tand\tit\tmade\ther\tcry\tbefore she'd\teven\tstarted.\tBut\tnow\tshe\twanted\thim\tto\tlisten\tand\tsee\thow\the\tfelt\tafter she\thad\ttold\thim\tall\tof\tit.\tMaybe\teverything\twould\tchange\tthen. \\\"I\tlove\tyou\ttoo,\tCharles,\\\"\tshe\tsaid,\tholding\thim,\twith\ther\teyes\tclosed,\tand\ttears rolling\tdown\ther\tcheeks.\t\\\"But\tthere's\ta\tlot\tyou\tdon't\tknow\tabout\tme.\\\"\tShe\ttook\ta deep\tbreath,\tfelt\tfor\tthe\tinhaler\tin\ther\tpocket,\tand\tstarted\tat\tthe\tbeginning. \\\"When\tI\twas\ta\tlittle\tgirl,\tmy\tfather\tbeat\tmy\tmother\tall\tthe\ttime\t...\tI\tmean\tall\tthe time\t...\tevery\tnight\t...\t.\tas\thard\tas\the\tcould\t...\tI\tused\tto\thear\ther\tscreams,\tand\tthe sound\tof\this\tfists\ton\ther\t...\tand\tin\tthe\tmorning\tI'd\tsee\tthe\tbruises.\t...\tshe\talways lied\tand\tpretended\tit\twas\tnothing.\tBut\tevery\tnight\the'd\tcome\thome,\the'd\tyell\tand she'd\tcry\tand\the'd\tbeat\ther\tagain.\tAfter\ta\twhile,\tyou\tstop\thaving\tany\tkind\tof\tlife when\tthose\tthings\thappen.\tYou\tcan't\thave\tfriends,\tbecause\tthey\tmight\tfind\tout. You\tcan't\ttell\tanyone,\tbecause\tthey\tmight\tdo\tsomething\tto\tyour\tdaddy,\\\"\tshe\tsaid sadly. \\\"My\tmother\tused\tto\tbeg\tme\tnot\tto\ttell,\tso\tyou\tlie,\tand\tcover\tup,\tand\tpretend\tyou don't\tknow,\tand\tact\tlike\tnothing's\twrong,\tand\tlittle\tby\tlittle\tyou\tbecome\ta zombie.\tThat's\tall\tthat\tI\tremember\tof\tmy\tchildhood.\\\"\tShe\tsighed\tagain.\tIt\twas hard\ttelling\thim,\tbut\tshe\tknew\tshe\thad\tto.\tAnd\the\tsqueezed\ther\thand\tmore tightly. \\\"Then\tmy\tmother\tgot\tcancer,\\\"\tGrace\tcontinued.\t\\\"I\twas\tthirteen.\tShe\thad\tcancer of\tthe\tuterus,\tand\tthey\thad\tto\tdo\tsome\tkind\tof\tradiation,\tand.\t...\\\"\tShe\thesitated, looking\tfor\tthe\tright\twords,\tshe\tdidn't\tknow\thim\tthat\twell\tyet.\t\\\"I\tguess\tthat changed\ther\t...\tso\t...\\\"\tHer\teyes\tbegan\tto\tswim\twith\ttears,\tand\tshe\tfelt\tthe\tasthma","changed\ther\t...\tso\t...\\\"\tHer\teyes\tbegan\tto\tswim\twith\ttears,\tand\tshe\tfelt\tthe\tasthma closing\ther\tthroat,\tbut\tshe\twouldn't\tlet\tit.\tShe\tknew\tshe\thad\tto\ttell\thim.\tHer survival\tdepended\ton\tit\tnow\tjust\tas\tit\thad\ton\topening\ther\teyes\tat\tBellevue.\t\\\"My mother\tcame\tto\tme\tthen,\tand\ttold\tme\tI\thad\tto\ttake\tcare'\tof\tmy\tfather,\tto\tbe\tgood to\thim,\\\"\tto\tbe\this\tspecial\tlittle\tgirl,\\\"\tand\the\twould\tlove\tme\tmore\tthan\tever.\\\" Charles\twas\tlooking\tseriously\tworried\tas\tshe\ttold\tthe\tstory.\t\\\"I\tdidn't\tunderstand what\tshe\tmeant\tat\tfirst,\tand\tthen\tshe\tand\tDaddy\tcame\tinto\tmy\troom\tone\tnight, and\tshe\theld\tme\tdown\tfor\thim.\\\" \\\"Oh\tmy\tGod.\\\"\tTears\tfilled\this\teyes\tas\the\tlistened. \\\"She\theld\tme\tdown\tevery\tnight,\tuntil\tI\tknew\tI\thad\tno\tchoice.\tI\thad\tto\tdo\tit.\tIf\tI didn't,\tno\tmatter\thow\tsick\tshe\twas,\the\twould\tbeat\ther. I\thad\tno\tfriends,\tI\tcouldn't\ttell\tanyone.\tI\thated\tmyself,\tI\thated\tmy\tbody.\tI\twore baggy\told\tclothes\tbecause\tI\tdidn't\twant\tanyone\tto\tsee\tme. I\tfelt\tdirty\tand\tashamed,\tand\tI\tknew\tthat\twhat\tI\twas\tdoing\twas\twrong,\tbut\tif\tI didn't\tdo\tit,\the\twould\tbeat\ther,\tand\tme.\tSometimes\the\tbeat\tme\tanyway,\tand\tthen raped\tme.\tIt\twas\talways\trape.\tHe\tloved\tviolence.\tHe\tloved\thurting\tme,\tand\tmy mother.\tOnce\twhen\tI\tdidn't\tdo\tit,\tbecause.\t...\\\"\tshe\tblushed,\tfeeling\tfourteen again,\t\\\"because\tI\thad\t...\tmy\tperiod.\t...\the\tbeat\ther\tso\tbad,\tshe\tcried\tfor\ta\tweek. She\talready\thad\tbone\tcancer\tby\tthen,\tand\tshe\talmost\tdied\tof\tthe\tpain.\tI\tdid\tit anytime\the\twanted\tafter\tthat,\tno\tmatter\thow\tmuch\the\thurt\tme.\\\"\tShe\ttook\ta\tdeep breath.\tIt\twas\talmost\tover\tnow.\tHe'd\theard\tthe\tworst,\tor\talmost,\tand\the\tcouldn't stop\tcrying.\tShe\tgently\twiped\tthe\ttears\tfrom\tCharles's\tcheeks\tand\tkissed\thim. \\\"Oh\tGrace,\tI'm\tso\tsorry.\\\"\tHe\twanted\tto\ttake\tthe\tpain\taway\tfrom\ther,\tto\terase\ther past,\tand\tchange\ther\tfuture. \\\"It's\tall\tright\t...\tit's\tall\tright\tnow\t...\\\"\tAnd\tthen\tshe\twent\ton. \\\"My\tmother\tdied\tafter\tfour\tyears.\tWe\twent\tto\tthe\tfuneral,\tand\tlots\tof\tpeople came\tover\tafterwards.\tHundreds\tof\tthem.\tEverybody\tloved\tmy\tfather.\tHe\twas\ta lawyer,\tand\tevery\tone's\tfriend.\tHe\tplayed\tgolf\twith\tthem,\twent\tto\tRotary\tdinners with\tthem,\tand\tKiwanis.\tHe\twas\tthe\tnicest\tguy\tin\ttown,\tpeople\tsaid.\tHe\twas\tthe man\teveryone\tloved\tand\ttrusted. And\tno\tone\tknew\twhat\the\treally\twas. He\twas\ta\tsick,\tsick\tman,\tand\ta\treal\tbastard.","He\twas\ta\tsick,\tsick\tman,\tand\ta\treal\tbastard. \\\"The\tday\tof\tthe\tfuneral,\teveryone\tspent\tthe\tafternoon\teating\tand\ttalking\tand drinking,\tand\ttrying\tto\tmake\thim\tfeel\tbetter.\tBut\the\tdidn't\tcare.\tHe\tstill\thad\tme.\tI don't\tknow\twhy,\tbut\tsomehow\tin\tmy\tmind,\tit\twas\tall\ttied\tup\twith\tmy\tmother.\tI was\tdoing\tit\tfor\ther,\tso\the\twouldn't\thurt\ther.\tBut\tI\tfigured\twhen\tshe\twas\tgone, he'd\tfind\tsomeone\telse.\tBut\tof\tcourse\the\tdidn't\twant\tthat.\tHe\thad\tme.\tWhy\tdid he\tneed\tanyone\telse? Not\tright\toff\tanyway.\tSo\twhen\teveryone\tleft,\tI\tcleaned\tup,\twashed\tthe\tdishes, put\teverything\taway,\tand\tlocked\tthe\tdoor\tto\tmy\troom.\tHe\tcame\tafter\tme,\the threatened\tto\tknock\tthe\tdoor\tdown,\tand\the\tgot\ta\tknife\tand\tsprung\tthe\tlock.\tHe dragged\tme\tinto\ther\troom,\tand\the'd\tnever\tdone\tthat\tbefore.\tHe\talways\tcame\tto my\troom.\tBut\tgoing\tto\ther\troom\twas\tlike\tbecoming\ther,\tit\twas\tlike\tknowing\tthat it\twas\tforever\tand\tit\twould\tnever\tstop,\tnever,\tuntil\the\tdied\tor\tI\tdid.\tAnd suddenly,\tI\tjust\tcouldn't\tdo\tit.\\\"\tShe\twas\tchoking\tagain,\tand\tCharles\thad\tstopped crying,\thorrified\tby\teverything\tshe'd\ttold\thim.\t\\\"I\tdon't\tknow\twhat\thappened\tafter that. He\treally\thurt\tme\tthat\tnight,\the\tpounded\tat\tme,\the\thit\tme,\the'd\twon,\tI\twas\this\tto beat\tand\trape\tand\ttorture\tforever.\tAnd\tthen\tI\tremembered\tthe\tgun\tmy\tmother kept\tin\ther\tnightstand.\tI\tdon't\tknow\twhat\tI\twas\tgoing\tto\tdo\twith\tit,\thit\thim,\tor scare\thim,\tor\tshoot\thim.\tI\tdon't\treally\tknow\tanything\texcept\tthat\the\twas\thurting me\tso\tmuch\tand\tI\twas\tso\tscared\tand\thalf\tcrazy\twith\tmisery\tand\tpain\tand\tfear. He\tsaw\tthe\tgun,\tand\the\ttried\tto\tgrab\tit\tfrom\tme,\tand\tthen\tthe\tnext\tthing\tI\tknew, it\twent\toff,\tand\the\twas\tbleeding\tall\tover\tme.\tI\tshot\thim\tthrough\tthe\tthroat,\tand\tit severed\this\tspinal\tcord\tand\tpunctured\this\tlung.\tHe\tfell\ton\ttop\tof\tme\tand\tbled horribly,\tand\tafter\tthat\tI\tdon't\tremember\tanything\tuntil\tthe\tpolice\tcame.\tI'm\tnot sure\twhat\tI\tdid.\tI\tcalled\tthe\tpolice,\tI\tguess,\tand\tthe\tnext\tthing\tI\tremember\twas talking\tto\tthem,\twrapped\tin\ta\tblanket.\\\" \\\"Did\tyou\ttell\tthem\twhat\the'd\tdone\tto\tyou?\\\"\tCharles\tasked\tanxiously,\twanting\tto change\tthe\tcourse\tof\thistory,\tand\tagonized\tthat\the\tcouldn't. \\\"Of\tcourse\tnot.\tI\tcouldn't\tdo\tthat\tto\tmy\tmother.\tOr\tto\thim.\tI\tthought\tI\towed\thim total\tsilence.\tIn\tmy\town\tway,\tI\tguess,\tI\twas\tas\tcrazy\tas\the\twas.\tBut\tthat's\twhat happens\tto\tchildren,\tand\twomen\ttoo,\tin\tsituations\tlike\tthat.\tThey\tnever\ttell. They'll\tdie\tfirst.\tThey\tcalled\tin\ta\tpsychiatrist\tto\ttalk\tto\tme,\twhen\tthey\ttook\tme\tto jail\tthat\tnight,\tand\tshe\tsent\tme\tto\tthe\thospital,\tand\tthey\tfound\tout\tthat\the'd\traped me,\tor\tsomeone\thad\thad\tintercourse'\twith\tme,\taccording\tto\tthe\tD.A.\\\"","\\\"Did\tyou\tever\ttell\tthem\tthe\ttruth?\\\" \\\"Not\tfor\ta\twhile.\tMolly,\tthe\tpsychiatrist,\thounded\tme\tto\ttell\ther. She\tknew.\tBut\tI\tlied\tto\ther.\tHe\twas\tstill\tmy\tdaddy.\tBut\tfinally,\tmy\tlawyer\twore me\tdown,\tand\tI\ttold\tthem.\\\" \\\"And\tthen\twhat?\tI\tassume\tthey\tlet\tyou\toff\tafter\tthat.\\\" \\\"Not\texactly.\tThe\tprosecution\tconcocted\ta\ttheory\tthat\tI\twas\tafter\tmy\tfather's money,\tthat\tif\tI\tkilled\thim,\tI'd\tget\teverything. Everything\tbeing\tone\tsmall\tbut\thighly\tmortgaged\thouse,\tand\thalf\tof\this\tlaw practice,\twhich\twas\ta\tlot\tsmaller\tthan\tyours.\tI\tcouldn't\tinherit\tany\tof\tit\tanyway, because\tI\tkilled\thim.\tI\thad\tno\tfriends.\tI\thad\tnever\ttold\tanyone.\tMy\tteachers\tsaid that\tI\twas\twithdrawn\tand\tstrange,\tkids\tsaid\tthey\tnever\tknew\tme.\tIt\twas\teasy\tto believe\tI'd\tjust\tflipped\tout\tand\tkilled\thim.\tHis\tlaw\tpartner\tlied\tand\tclaimed\tI'd asked\tabout\tDad's\tmoney\tafter\tthe\tfuneral.\tI'd\tnever\tsaid\ta\tword\tto\thim,\tbut\the claimed\tthat\tDad\towed\thim\ta\tlot\tof\tmoney.\tAnd\tin\tthe\tend,\the\tgrabbed everything,\tand\tgave\tme\tfifty\tthousand\tdollars\tto\tstay\tout\tof\ttown\tand\tleave\thim to\ttake\tit\tall.\tI\tdid,\tand\tI\tstill\thave\tthe\tmoney\tby\tthe\tway.\tSomehow,\tI\tcan't\tbring myself\tto\tspend\tit. \\\"But\tthe\tD.A.\tdecided\tthat\tI\thad\tkilled\tmy\tfather\tfor\this\tmoney,\tand\tthat\tI'd probably\tbeen\tout\tscrewing\taround,\tand\twhen\tI\tcame\thome,\tDad\tgot\tmad\tand yelled\tat\tme,\tso\tI\tkilled\thim.\\\"\tShe\tsmiled\tbitterly,\tremembering\tevery\tdetail. \\\"They\teven\tsaid\tthat\tI'd\tprobably\ttried\tto\tseduce\tmy\tfather\ttoo.\tThey'd\tfound\tmy nightgown\ton\tthe\tfloor\twhere\the\tthrew\tit\tafter\the\ttore\tit\tin\thalf,\tand\tthey\tclaimed I\thad\tprobably\texposed\tmyself\tto\thim,\tand\twhen\the\tdidn't\twant\tme,\tI\tshot\thim. They\tcharged\tme\twith\tmurder\tone,\twhich\twould\thave\trequired\tthe\tdeath penalty.\tI\twas\tseventeen,\tbut\tthey\ttried\tme\tas\tan\tadult.\tAnd\taside\tfrom\tMolly, and\tDavid,\tmy\tattorney,\tno\tone\tever\tbelieved\tme.\tHe\twas\ttoo\tgood,\ttoo\tperfect, too-loved\tby\tthe\tcommunity. Everyone\thated\tme\tfor\tkilling\thim.\tEven\ttelling\tthe\ttruth\tdidn't\tsave\tme.\tBy\tthen it\twas\ttoo\tlate.\tEverybody\tloved\thim. \\\"They\tfound\tme\tguilty\tof\tvoluntary\tmanslaughter,\tand\tI\tgot\ttwo\tand\ttwo. Two\tyears\tof\tprison,\ttwo\tyears\tof\tprobation.\tI\tserved\ttwo\tyears\talmost\tto\tthe\tday in\tDwight\tCorrectional\tCenter,\twhere,\\\"\tshe\tsmiled\tsadly\tat\thim,\t\\\"I\tdid\ta","in\tDwight\tCorrectional\tCenter,\twhere,\\\"\tshe\tsmiled\tsadly\tat\thim,\t\\\"I\tdid\ta correspondence\tcourse\tand\tgot\tan\tAA\tdegree\tfrom\ta\tjunior\tcollege.\tActually,\tit was\tquite\tan\teducation.\tAnd\tif\tit\tweren't\tfor\ttwo\twomen\tthere,\tLuna\tand\tSally, who\twere\tlovers,\tI'd\tprobably\tbe\tdead\tnow. I\twas\tkidnapped\tby\ta\tgang\tone\tnight,\tand\tthey\twere\tgoing\tto\tgang-bang\tme\tand use\tme\tas\ta\tslave,\tand\tSally,\twho\twas\tmy\tcellmate,\tand\tLuna,\ther\tfriend, stopped\tthem.\tThey\twere\tthe\ttwo\ttoughest\tbut\tkindest\twomen\tyou\tcould\tever meet,\tand\tthey\tsaved\tme.\tNo\tone\tever\ttouched\tme\tafter\tthat,\tnor\tdid\tthey.\tI\tdon't even\tknow\twhere\tthey\tare\tnow.\tLuna\tis\tprobably\tstill\tthere,\tbut\tSally's\ttime would\tbe\tup,\tunless\tshe\tdid\tsomething\tdumb\tso\tshe\tcould\tstay\twith\tLuna.\tBut when\tI\tleft,\tthey\ttold\tme\tto\tforget\tthem,\tand\tput\tit\tall\tbehind\tme. \\\"I\tnever\twent\thome\tagain,\tand\tthat\twas\twhen\tI\twent\tto\tChicago,\twhere\tmy probation\tofficer\tkept\tthreatening\tto\tsend\tme\tback\tif\tI\tdidn't\tsleep\twith\thim.\tBut somehow\tI\tmanaged\tnot\tto.\tAnd\tyou\tpretty\tmuch\tknow\tthe\trest.\tI\ttold\tyou\tthat last\tnight.\tI\tworked\tin\tChicago\tfor\ttwo\tyears\twhile\tI\twas\ton\tprobation.\tNo\tone ever\tknew\twhere\tI'd\tbeen,\tor\twhere\tI\tcame\tfrom.\tThey\tdidn't\tknow\tI'd\tbeen\tin prison,\tor\thad\tkilled\tmy\tfather. They\tdidn't\tknow\tanything.\tYou're\tthe\tfirst\tperson\tI've\tever\ttold\tsince\tDavid\tand Molly.\\\"\tShe\tfelt\tdrained\tbut\ta\tthousand\tpounds\tlighter\twhen\tshe\tfinished.\tIt\thad been\ta\trelief\tto\ttell\thim. \\\"What\tabout\tFather\tTim?\tDoes\the\tknow?\\\" \\\"He's\tjust\tguessed,\tbut\tI've\tnever\tsaid\tanything\tto\thim.\tI\tdidn't\tthink\tI\thad\tto. But\tI\tworked\tat\tSt.\tMary's\tin\tChicago,\tand\tnow\tSt.\tAndrew's,\tbecause\tit's\tmy way\tof\tpaying\tback\tfor\twhat\tI\tdid.\tAnd\tmaybe\tI\tcan\tstop\tsome\tother\tpoor\tkid from\tgoing\tthrough\twhat\tI\tdid.\\\" \\\"My\tGod,\tmy\tGod\t...\tGrace\t...\thow\tdid\tyou\tsurvive\tit?\\\"\tHe\theld\ther\tclose\tto him,\tcradling\ther\thead\tagainst\this\tchest,\tunable\tto\teven\tbegin\tto\tfathom\tthe\tkind of\tpain\tand\tmisery\tshe'd\tbeen\tthrough.\tAll\the\twanted\tto\tdo\tnow\twas\thold\ther\tin his\tarms\tforever. \\\"I\tjust\tsurvived,\tI\tguess,\\\"\tshe\tanswered\thim,\t\\\"and\tin\tsome\tways,\tI\tdidn't.\tI've only\tbeen\tout\twith\tone\tman.\tI've\tnever\thad\tsex\twith\tanyone\tbut\tmy\tfather.\tAnd I'm\tnot\tsure\tI\tcould.\tThe\tman\twho\tdrugged\tme\tsaid\tI\talmost\tkilled\thim\twhen\the tried\tto\tlay\ta\thand\ton\tme,\tand\tmaybe\tI\twould\thave.\tI\tdon't\tthink\tthat\tcan\tever\tbe part\tof\tmy\tlife\tagain.\\\"\tAnd\tyet.\t...\tshe\thad\tkissed\thim,\tand\the\thadn't\tfrightened","part\tof\tmy\tlife\tagain.\\\"\tAnd\tyet.\t...\tshe\thad\tkissed\thim,\tand\the\thadn't\tfrightened her\tat\tall.\tIn\tsome\tways,\tshe\twondered\tif\tshe\tcould\tlearn\tto\ttrust\thim.\tIf\the\tever wanted\ther\tnow,\tafter\tall\the'd\theard.\tShe\tsearched\this\teyes\tlooking\tfor\tsome\tsign of\tcondemnation,\tbut\tthere\twas\tonly\tsorrow\tand\tcompassion. \\\"I\twish\tI\tcould\thave\tkilled\thim\tfor\tyou.\tHow\tcould\tthey\tsend\tyou\tto\tprison\tfor that?\tHow\tcould\tthey\tbe\tso\tblind\tand\tso\trotten?\\\" \\\"It\thappens\tthat\tway\tsometimes.\\\"\tShe\twasn't\tbitter.\tShe\thad\tlong\tsince\tcome\tto accept\tit.\tBut\tshe\trealized\tthat\tif\the\tbetrayed\ther\tnow,\tand\ttold\tpeople\tabout\ther past,\ther\tlife\tin\tNew\tYork\twould\tbe\truined. She'd\thave\tto\tmove\ton\tagain,\tand\tshe\tdidn't\twant\tto.\tTelling\thim\thad\trequired\ta great\tdeal\tof\ttrust\tfrom\ther,\tbut\tit\twas\tworth\tit. \\\"What\tmakes\tyou\tthink\tthat\tyou\tcould\tnever\tdeal\twith\tintimacy\tagain? Have\tyou\tever\ttried\tto?\\\"\t\\\"I\t...\\\"No.\tBut\tI\tjust\tcan't\timagine\tdoing\tthat,\twithout reliving\tthe\tnightmare.\\\" \\\"You've\tleft\tthe\trest\tof\tit,\tand\tmoved\ton.\tWhy\tnot\tthat\ttoo?\tYou\towe\tit\tto yourself,\tGrace,\tand\tto\tanyone\twho\tloves\tyou.\tIn\tthis\tcase,\tme,\\\"\the\tsmiled,\tand then\the\tasked\ther\tanother\tquestion. \\\"Would\tyou\tgo\tto\ta\ttherapist\tif\tyou\tneeded\tto?\\\"\the\tasked\tgently,\tbut\tshe\twasn't sure.\tIn\ta\tfunny\tway,\tit\twould\tseem\tlike\ta\tbetrayal\tof\tMolly. \\\"Maybe,\\\"\tshe\tsaid\tuncertainly,\tmaybe\teven\ttherapy\twould\tbe\ttoo\thard\tto\thandle. \\\"I\thave\ta\tfeeling\tyou're\tsounder\tthan\tyou\tthink.\tI\tdon't\tknow\twhy,\tbut\tI\tdon't think\tyou\tcould\tcome\tthrough\tall\tyou\tdid,\tif\tyou\tweren't. I\tthink\tyou're\tjust\tscared,\tand\twho\twouldn't\tbe.\tAnd\tyou're\tnot\texactly\ta\thundred years\told,\tyou\tknow.\\\"\t\\\"I'm\ttwenty-three,\\\"\tshe\tsaid,\tas\tthough\tit\twere\ta\tmajor achievement,\tand\the\tlaughed\tat\ther\tand\tkissed\ther. \\\"I'm\tnot\timpressed,\tkiddo.\tI'm\talmost\ttwenty\tyears\tolder\tthan\tyou\tare.\\\" He\twould\tbe\tforty-three\tin\tthe\tfall,\tand\tshe\tknew\tthat. But\tshe\twas\tlooking\tat\thim\tvery\tseriously\tthen.\t\\\"Tell\tme\thonestly.","Isn't\tthat\thistory\tmore\tthan\tyou\twant\tto\tdeal\twith?\\\" \\\"I\tdon't\tsee\twhy.\tIt's\tnot\tyour\tfault,\tany\tmore\tthan\tbeing\tmugged\ton\tDelancey Street\twas\tyour\tfault.\tYou\twere\ta\tvictim,\tGrace,\tof\ttwo\tvery\tsick\tpeople\twho used\tyou.\tYou\tdidn't\tdo\tanything.\tEven\twhen\tyou\thad\tsex\twith\thim,\tyou\thad\tno choice.\tAnyone\twould\thave\tdone\tthe\tsame,\tany\tkid\twould\thave\tbeen\tterrorized into\tthinking\tthey\twere\thelping\ttheir\tdying\tmother.\tHow\tcould\tyou\tpossibly resist\tthem?\tYou\tcouldn't. You've\tbeen\ta\tvictim\tall\talong.\tIt\tsounds\tlike\tyou\tstayed\ta\tvictim\tright\tup\tuntil you\tleft\tChicago\tand\tcame\tto\tNew\tYork\tlast\tOctober. Don't\tyou\tthink\tit's\ttime\tyou\tchanged\tthat?\tIt's\tbeen\tten\tyears\tsince\tthe nightmare\tbegan. That's\talmost\thalf\tyour\tlife.\tDon't\tyou\tthink\tyou\thave\ta\tright\tto\ta\tgood\tlife\tnow? I\tthink\tyou've\tearned\tit,\\\"\the\tsaid,\tand\tthen\tkissed\ther\thard,\tand\twith\tevery\tthing he\tfelt\tfor\ther.\tThere\twas\tno\tmistaking\twhat\the\twas\tfeeling. He\twas\tdeeply\tin\tlove\twith\ther,\tand\twilling\tto\taccept\ther\tpast,\tin\texchange\tfor her\tfuture.\t\\\"I\tlove\tyou.\tI'm\tin\tlove\twith\tyou.\tI\tdon't\tcare\twhat\tyou\tdid,\tor\twhat happened\tto\tyou\tI'm\tjust\tsorry\tas\thell\tthat\tyou\thad\tto\tsuffer\tso\tmuch\tpain,\tand\tso much\tmisery.\tI\twish\tI\tcould\twash\tit\tall\taway,\tand\tchange\tyour\tmemory\tof\tit,\tbut I\tcan't.\tI\taccept\tyou\texactly\tas\tyou\tare,\tI\tlove\tyou\texactly\tas\tyou\tare,\tand\tall\tI want\tis\twhat\twe\tcan\tgive\teach\tother\tnow.\tI\twant\tto\tthank\tmy\tlucky\tstars\tfor\tthe day\tyou\twalked\tinto\tmy\toffice.\tI\tcan't\tbelieve\thow\tblessed\tI\twas\tto\thave\tfound you.\\\" \\\"I'm\tthe\tlucky\tone,\\\"\tshe\tsaid,\tin\tawe\tof\this\treaction.\tShe\tcould\thardly\tbelieve what\the\twas\tsaying.\t\\\"Why\tare\tyou\tsaying\tall\tthis\tto\tme?\\\"\tshe\tasked,\tnear\ttears again.\tIt\twas\timpossible\tto\tfathom. \\\"I'm\tsaying\tit\tbecause\tI\tmean\tit.\tWhy\tdon't\tyou\tjust\trelax\tand\tstop\tworrying\tfor a\twhile,\tand\tenjoy\tit?\tYou've\thad\ta\tlot\tof\tworrying\tto\tdo\tfor\ta\tlong\ttime.\tNow it's\tmy\tturn.\tI'll\tworry\tfor\tboth\tof\tus. Okay?\\\"\the\tasked,\tmoving\ttoward\ther\tagain\twith\ta\tsmile\tand\twiping\tthe\ttears from\tbeneath\ther\teyes.\t\\\"Okay?\\\" \\\"Okay,\tCharles\t...\tI\tlove\tyou.\\\"\t\\\"Not\tas\tmuch\tas\tI\tlove\tyou,\\\"\the\tsaid,\ttaking\ther\tin his\tarms\tagain\tand\tholding\ther\ttight\tas\the\tkissed\ther.\tAnd\tthen\tafter\ta\twhile,\the","his\tarms\tagain\tand\tholding\ther\ttight\tas\the\tkissed\ther.\tAnd\tthen\tafter\ta\twhile,\the laughed\tsoftly. \\\"What's\tfunny?\\\"\tshe\twhispered,\ttouching\this\tlips\twith\ther\tfingertips,\twhich\tonly aroused\thim\tfurther.\tHe\twas\tdying\tfor\ther,\tbut\the\tknew\tit\twould\tbe\ta\twhile before\tanything\thappened\tbetween\tthem. He\tsmiled\tat\ther\tas\the\tanswered,\t\\\"I\twas\tjust\tthinking\tthat,\tnever\tmind\tyour delicate\tpsychology,\tI\tthink\tthe\tonly\tthing\tthat's\tsaving\tyou\tfrom\tbeing\travaged by\tme,\tis\tthe\tpin\tthey\tjust\tput\tin\tyour\tpelvis. Frankly,\tI\tthink\tthat's\tthe\tonly\tthing\tthat\tstopped\tme.\\\" \\\"Shame\ton\tyou,\\\"\tshe\tteased,\tsuddenly\twondering\tif\tshe\twanted\tto\tbe\tsaved\tfrom him.\tIt\twas\tan\tinteresting\tquestion. Charles\ttook\tcare\tof\ther\tfor\tthe\tnext\ttwo\tweeks,\tcoming\tto\tthe\tapartment constantly,\twhenever\the\tcould,\tand\tsleeping\tnext\tto\ther\tin\tthe\tbed\ton\tweekends. It\twas\ta\tcozy\tfeeling\tlying\tnext\tto\thim,\tand\twaking\tup\tin\this\tarms\tin\tthe morning.\tHe\ttold\ther\tstories\tabout\this\tchildhood,\tand\this\tparents,\twho\twere\tno longer\talive,\tbut\twhom\the\thad\tloved\tvery\tmuch\tand\thad\tbeen\tvery\tgood\tto\thim. He\twas\tan\tonly\tchild,\tand\the'd\thad\ta\tgood\tlife,\tand\the\tknew\tit.\tAnd\tshe\ttold\thim funny\tthings\tabout\tLuna\tand\tSally.\tIt\twas\tan\todd\tassortment\tof\tmemories\tand exchanges.\tAnd\tafter\tthe\tfirst\tweek,\the\thired\ta\tlimousine\tand\ttook\ther\tfor\ta\tdrive in\tConnecticut\ton\tthe\tweekend.\tThey\tstopped\tand\thad\tlunch\tat\tCobbs\tMill\tInn in\tWeston,\twhich\twas\twonderful,\tand\tcame\tback\tto\tNew\tYork\trelaxed\tand exhausted. Her\tdoctors\tsaid\tthat\tshe\twas\tdoing\twell,\tand\tafter\tanother\tweek\tthey\ttold\ther she\tcould\tgo\tback\tto\twork,\tbut\tCharles\tconvinced\ther\tto\ttake\tone\tmore\tweek\toff. And\tshe\tasked\tthe\tdoctors\tone\tother\timportant\tquestion,\tand\twas\tsatisfied\twith the\tanswer.\tShe\twent\tto\tvisit\ther\tfriends\tat\tSt.\tAndrew's\ttoo,\tarriving\tby\tcab,\tin the\tdaytime,\tand\tthey\twere\tall\tthrilled\tto\tsee\ther.\tShe\tpromised\tthem\tthat\tshe would\tcome\tback\tto\twork\tsoon,\tbut\tprobably\tnot\tuntil\tSeptember,\twhen\tshe would\tbe\toff\tcrutches. And\tthe\tfollowing\tweekend\tCharles\ttook\ther\tto\tthe\tHamptons\tfor\tthe\tweekend. They\tstayed\tin\ta\tcozy\tlittle\tinn,\tand\tthe\tsmell\tof\tthe\tsea\twas\tdelicious.\tThey arrived\tlate\tFriday\tnight,\tand\tshe\tmade\thim\ttake\ther\tfor\ta\twalk\ton\tthe\tbeach, even\twith\ther\tcrutches.\tShe\tlay\tdown\ton\tthe\tsand,\tlistening\tto\tthe\tsound\tof\tthe ocean,\tand\the\tsat\tdown\tnext\tto\ther.","ocean,\tand\the\tsat\tdown\tnext\tto\ther. \\\"You\tdon't\tknow\thow\tgreat\tthis\tis.\tYou\tknow,\tbefore\tI\tcame\tto\tNew\tYork,\tI'd never\tseen\tthe\tocean.\\\" \\\"Wait\ttill\tyou\tsee\tMartha's\tVineyard.\\\"\tHe\tpromised\tto\ttake\ther\tthere\tover\tLabor Day,\tbut\tshe\twas\tstill\tworried\tabout\ttheir\tfuture.\tAnd\twhat\twere\tthey\tgoing\tto do\tin\tanother\tweek\twhen\tshe\twent\tback\tto\tthe\toffice? They'd\thave\tto\tkeep\ttheir\trelationship\ta\tsecret.\tIt\twas\todd\tto\tthink\tof\tit.\tIt\twasn't an\taffair\tyet,\tbut\tit\twas\tmuch,\tmuch\tmore\tthan\ta\tfriendship. \\\"What\twere\tyou\tthinking\tthen?\\\"\the\tasked\tcomfortably,\tas\tthey\tsat\ton\tthe\tbeach in\tthe\tdark. \\\"About\tyou,\\\"\tshe\tteased\thim\ta\tlittle\tbit,\tand\the\tloved\tit. \\\"What\tabout\tme?\\\" \\\"I\twas\twondering\twhen\twe\twere\tgoing\tto\tsleep\twith\teach\tother,\\\"\tshe\tsaid casually,\tand\the\tstared\tat\ther\tin\tconfusion. \\\"What\tdoes\tthat\tmean?\tBesides,\\\"\the\tgrinned,\t\\\"I\tthought\twe\talready\thad. You\teven\tsnore\tsometimes.\\\" \\\"You\tknow\twhat\tI\tmean.\\\"\tShe\tpushed\thim\tgently,\tand\the\tlaughed\tat\ther. She\twas\tso\tlovely. \\\"You\tmean\t...\\\"\tHe\traised\tan\teyebrow\tand\tpretended\tto\tlook\tsurprised. \\\"Are\tyou\tsuggesting\t...\\\" \\\"I\tthink\tso.\\\"\tShe\tblushed.\t\\\"I\tsaw\tthe\torthopedic\tsurgeon\tyesterday\tand\the\tsays I'm\tokay\t...\tnow\tall\twe\thave\tto\tworry\tabout\tis\tmy\thead\tand\tnot\tmy\tpelvis.\\\"\tAs she\tsaid\tit,\the\tlaughed,\tand\the\twas\tgrateful\tthey\thad\thad\tall\tthese\tweeks\tto\tget\tto know\teach\tother\twithout\tthe\tcomplications\tof\ther\thistory\tand\ttheir\tsex\tlife.\tIt had\tbeen\twell\tover\ta\tmonth\tnow,\tand\tit\twas\tas\tthough\tthey\thad\talways\tbeen together.\tThey\twere\tcompletely\tat\tease\twith\teach\tother. \\\"Is\tthis\tan\tinvitation?\\\"\the\tsaid\twith\ta\tgrin\tthat\twould\thave\tmelted\tany\theart,\thers","\\\"Is\tthis\tan\tinvitation?\\\"\the\tsaid\twith\ta\tgrin\tthat\twould\thave\tmelted\tany\theart,\thers had\tmelted\tlong\tsince,\tbut\tit\tdissolved\tyet\tagain\tas\tshe\twatched\thim.\t\\\"Or\tare\tyou just\ttoying\twith\tme?\\\" \\\"Possibly\tboth.\\\"\tBut\tshe\thad\tbeen\tthinking\tabout\tit\tfor\tdays\tnow,\tand\tshe wanted\tto\ttry\tit.\tShe\thad\tto\tknow\twhat\twould\thappen\tand\tif\tthere\twas\tany chance\tat\tall\tfor\ta\tfuture. \\\"Is\tthis\tmy\tcue\tto\tjump\tup\toff\tthe\twarm\tsand\tand\tdrag\tyou\tback\tto\tour\troom\tby the\thair,\tleaving\tyour\tcrutches\tbehind\tus?\\\" \\\"That\tsounds\tpretty\tgood.\\\"\tShe\tmade\thim\tfeel\tso\tyoung,\tand\tin\tspite\tof\ther serious\thistory,\tshe\tmade\thim\tlaugh\tall\tthe\ttime,\tand\the\tloved\tit. It\twas\tso\tdifferent\tfrom\this\ttime\twith\this\tfirst\twife.\tShe'd\tbeen\tso\tintense,\tso self-involved,\tand\tso\tnervous.\tLife\twith\tGrace\twas\tcompletely\tdifferent.\tShe was\trelaxed,\tintelligent,\tgiving,\tcaring. She\thad\tbeen\tthrough\tso\tmuch,\tand\tyet\tshe\twas\tstill\tso\tkind\tand\tso\tgentle.\tAnd she\tstill\thad\ta\tsense\tof\thumor. \\\"Come\ton,\tyou,\tlet's\tgo\tback\tto\tthe\thotel.\\\"\tHe\tpulled\ther\tup\toff\tthe\tsand,\tand they\tmade\ttheir\tway\tslowly\tback,\tand\tthen\tstopped\tfor\tice\tcream. \\\"Do\tyou\tlike\tbanana\tsplits?\\\"\tshe\tasked\thim\tcasually,\tas\tshe\tlicked\ther\tice-cream cone,\tand\the\tsmiled.\tShe\twas\tlike\ta\tkid\tsometimes,\tand\ta\twoman\tof\tthe\tworld\tat others.\tHe\tloved\tthe\tcontrast\tand\tthe\tcombination. It\twas\tthe\tadvantage\tof\ther\tyouth,\tand\twith\tit\tcame\tendless\tpossibilities,\tand\ta most\tappealing\tfuture.\tHe\twanted\tto\thave\tchildren\twith\ther,\ta\tlife\twith\ther, make\tlove\twith\ther\t...\tbut\tfirst,\tshe\thad\tto\teat\ther\tice\tcream. \\\"Yes,\tI\tlike\tbanana\tsplits,\\\"\the\tsaid,\twith\ta\tgrin.\t\\\"Why?\\\" \\\"Me\ttoo.\tLet's\thave\tone\ttomorrow.\\\" \\\"Okay.\tCan\twe\tgo\tback\tnow?\\\"\tIt\thad\ttaken\tthem\tfour\thours\tto\tget\tto\tthe Hamptons\tin\tthe\ttraffic\tfrom\tNew\tYork,\tand\tit\twas\talmost\tmidnight. \\\"Yes,\twe\tcan\tgo\tback\tto\tthe\thotel\tnow.\\\"\tShe\tsmiled\tat\thim,\tmysterious\tand womanly\tagain.\tIt\twas\tlike\twatching\tdifferent\tcreatures\tappear\tfrom\tbehind clouds.\tHe\tloved\ther\tplayfulness\tand\tthe\tfact\tthat\tshe\twasn't\tquite\tgrown\tup\tyet.","clouds.\tHe\tloved\ther\tplayfulness\tand\tthe\tfact\tthat\tshe\twasn't\tquite\tgrown\tup\tyet. Their\troom\tat\tthe\tinn\twas\tdone\tin\trose-patterned\tchintzes\tand\tVictorian furniture.\tThere\twas\ta\tsweet\tmarble\tsink\tin\tthe\troom,\tand\tthe\tbed\twas\tcanopied and\tvery\tpretty.\tCharles\thad\tasked\tfor\tchampagne\tto\tbe\tleft\tcooling\tin\tthe\troom, and\tthere\twas\ta\thuge\tbouquet\tof\tlilac\tand\troses,\ther\tfavorites. \\\"You\tthink\tof\teverything.\\\"\tShe\tkissed\thim\tas\tthey\tclosed\tthe\tdoor\tto\ttheir\troom. \\\"Yes,\\\"\the\tsaid,\tproud\tof\thimself,\t\\\"and\tI\tcan't\teven\task\tmy\tsecretary\tto\tdo\tit.\\\" \\\"You'd\tbetter\tnot.\\\"\tShe\teyed\thim\thappily\tas\the\tpoured\tthe\tchampagne\tand handed\ther\ta\tglass,\tbut\tshe\tonly\ttook\ta\tsmall\tsip\tand\tthen\tset\tit\tdown. She\twas\ttoo\texcited\tto\tdrink\tit.\tThis\twas\tlike\ta\thoneymoon,\tand\tthe\texpectation was\tterrifying\tfor\tthem\tboth,\tparticularly\tsince\tthey\tdidn't\tknow\twhat\tghosts would\tjoin\tthem. \\\"Scared?\\\"\the\twhispered\tas\tthey\tslid\tinto\tbed,\the\tin\this\tshorts,\tand\tshe\tin\ta nightgown,\tand\tshe\tnodded.\t\\\"Me\ttoo,\\\"\the\tconfessed,\tand\tshe\tnuzzled\ther\tface into\this\tneck\tand\theld\thim.\tHe\thad\tturned\toff\tthe\tlights. And\tthere\twas\ta\tsingle\tcandle\tburning\tat\tthe\tfar\tend\tof\tthe\troom.\tIt\twas unforgettably\tromantic. \\\"What'll\twe\tdo\tnow?\\\"\tshe\twhispered\tin\this\tear\tafter\ta\tminute.\t\\\"Let's\tgo\tto\tsleep,\\\" he\twhispered\tback. \\\"You\tmean\tit?\\\"\tshe\tasked,\tlooked\tstartled,\tand\the\tlaughed. \\\"No\t...\tnot\treally\t...\\\"\tHe\tkissed\ther\tthen,\talmost\twanting\tto\tget\tit\tover\twith,\tbut not\tdaring\tto\tyet,\tnot\tsure\twhich\tway\tto\tturn\tor\twhat\tto\tdo,\tand\the\tdidn't\twant\tto hurt\ther\tvarious\tinjuries\teither.\tIt\twas\tall\ta\tlittle\tmore\tdifficult\tthan\the'd expected.\tBut\tas\tthey\tkissed,\the\tforgot\tabout\ther\tbroken\tbones,\tand\tthe\tugliness of\ther\tpast\tslipped\tslowly\tfrom\ther.\tThere\twas\tno\tmemory,\tno\ttime,\tno\tother person,\tthere\twas\tonly\tCharles\tand\this\tincredible\tgentleness,\this\tendless\tpassion and\tlove\tfor\ther,\tas\the\tmoved\tever\tso\tgently\ttoward\ther,\tand\tthey\tmoved\tcloser and\tcloser,\tuntil\tsuddenly\tthey\tbecame\tone\tand\tshe\tcould\tfeel\therself\tmelt\tinto him\tand\tshe\tcould\tbear\tit\tno\tlonger.\tIt\twas\tall\tso\texquisite,\tand\tthen\tsuddenly they\tboth\texploded\tin\tunison,\tand\tGrace\tlay\tin\this\tarms\tin\tcomplete\tamazement. She\thad\tnever\tknown\tanything\teven\tremotely\tlike\tthat.\tThere\twas\tno\tsimilarity","She\thad\tnever\tknown\tanything\teven\tremotely\tlike\tthat.\tThere\twas\tno\tsimilarity at\tall\twith\twhat\thad\thappened\tto\ther\tbefore,\tno\tmemory,\tno\tpain,\tthere\twas nothing\tbut\tCharles\tnow\tand\tthe\tlove\tthey\tshared,\tand\ta\tlittle\twhile\tlater,\tit\twas Grace\twho\twanted\thim,\twho\tteased\thim\tand\tplayed\twith\thim,\tuntil\the\tcould\tbear it\tno\tlonger. \\\"Oh\tGod,\\\"\the\tsaid\tafterwards,\t\\\"you're\ttoo\tyoung\tfor\tme,\tyou're\tgoing\tto\tkill\tme ...\tbut\twhat\ta\tway\tto\tdie.\\\"\tAnd\tthen\tsuddenly\the\twondered\tif\the\thad\tcommitted an\tawful\tfaux\tps,\tand\tlooked\tat\ther\tin\thorror,\tbut\tshe\tonly\tlaughed.\tIt\twas\tall\tall right\tnow,\tmuch\tto\ttheir\tjoint\tamazement. She\tforced\thim\tto\tbuy\ther\ta\tbanana\tsplit\tthe\tnext\tday,\tand\tthey\thad\ta\tlovely weekend.\tThey\tspent\tmuch\tof\tit\tin\ttheir\troom,\tdiscovering\teach\tother,\tand\tthe rest\ton\tthe\tbeach,\tin\tthe\tsun,\tand\twhen\tthey\tgot\tback\tto\tNew\tYork\ton\tSunday night,\tthey\tlay\tin\ther\tbed\tand\tmade\tlove\tagain,\tjust\tto\tmake\tsure\tit\thad\tthe\tsame magic\tin\ther\tapartment.\tAnd\tCharles\tdecided\tit\twas\teven\tbetter. \\\"By\tthe\tway,\\\"\the\trolled\tover\tsleepily\tafterwards\tand\twhispered\tto\ther,\t\\\"you're fired,\tGrace.\\\"\tHe\twas\thalf\tasleep\tbut\tshe\tsat\tbolt\tupright. What\twas\the\tsaying\tto\ther?\tWhat\twas\tthis\tall\tabout?\tShe\tlooked\tfrightened. \\\"What?\\\"\tShe\talmost\tshouted\tthe\tword\tin\tthe\tdarkness,\tand\the\topened\tan\teye\tin surprise.\t\\\"What\tdo\tyou\tmean?\\\"\tShe\twas\tstaring\tat\thim. \\\"You\theard\tme.\tYou're\tfired.\\\"\tHe\tsmiled\thappily. \\\"Why?\\\"\tShe\twas\tnear\ttears.\tShe\tloved\tworking\tfor\thim,\tespecially\tnow,\tand\tshe was\tdue\tto\tgo\tback\tthat\tweek.\tThis\twasn't\tfair.\tWhat\twas\the\tdoing? \\\"I\tdon't\tsleep\twith\tmy\tsecretaries,\\\"\the\texplained,\tand\tthen\the\tgrinned\tas\the\tlay there.\t\\\"Don't\tlook\tso\tworried.\tI\thave\ta\tnew\tjob\tin\tmind\tfor\tyou.\tIt's\ta\tstep\tup,\tor it\tcould\tbe,\tdepending\ton\thow\tyou\tsee\tit. How\twould\tyou\tlike\tto\tbe\tmy\twife?\\\"\tHe\twas\twide-awake\tnow,\tand\tshe\tlooked stunned.\tShe\twas\tshaking\twhen\tshe\tanswered. \\\"Are\tyou\tserious?\\\" \\\"No.\tI'm\tjust\tkidding.\tWhat\tdo\tyou\tthink?\tOf\tcourse\tI'm\tserious. Will\tyou?\\\"","Will\tyou?\\\" \\\"Really?\\\"\tShe\tstill\tcouldn't\tbelieve\tit\tas\tshe\tsat\tlooking\tat\thim\tin\tdisbelief\tand\the laughed\tat\ther. \\\"Of\tcourse\treally!\\\" \\\"Wow...\\\"Well?\\\" \\\"I'd\tlove\tto.\\\"\tAnd\twith\tthat,\tshe\tleaned\tdown\tand\tkissed\thim,\tand\the\tgrabbed her. Chapter\t13. Grace\tnever\twent\tback\tto\twork,\tand\tthey\twere\t(\tmarried\tsix\tweeks\tlater,\tin judge's\tchambers,\tin\tSeptember.\tThey\tflew\tto\tSaint\tBart's\tfor\ttwo\tweeks\tfor\ta honeymoon,\tand\tshe\tmoved\ther\tfew\tbelongings\tto\this\tapartment.\tHe\tlived\ton East\tSixty-ninth\tStreet\tin\ta\tsmall,\tbut\textremely\telegant\tlittle\ttown\thouse.\tThey'd been\thome\tfor\texactly\ta\tweek\twhen\tthey\thad\ttheir\tfirst\treal\tfight,\tand\tit\twas\ta lulu.\tShe\twanted\tto\tgo\tback\tto\tdo\tvolunteer\twork\tat\tSt.\tAndrew's,\tand\tshe\twas horrified\tthat\the\twanted\tto\tstop\ther. \\\"Are\tyou\tcrazy?\tDo\tyou\tremember\twhat\thappened\tthe\tlast\ttime\tyou\twent\tthere? Absolutely\tnot!\\\"\tHe\twas\tadamant.\tShe\tcould\tdo\tanything\tshe\twanted,\tbut\tnot that.\tAnd\the\twasn't\tbudging. \\\"That\twas\ta\tfluke,\\\"\tshe\tkept\tinsisting,\tbut\tCharles\twas\teven\tmore\tstubborn\tthan she\twas. \\\"That\twas\tno\tfluke.\tEvery\tone\tof\tthose\twomen\thas\ta\tdangerous\thusband. And\tyou're\tdown\tthere\tadvising\tthem\tto\tbail\tout,\tand\tthe\tguys\tare\tjust\tas\tliable to\tcome\tafter\tyou\tas\tSam\tJones\twas.\\\"\tHe\thad\tplea-bargained\thimself\tinto\ta lighter\tsentence\twith\tparole\tby\tthen,\tfor\this\tattack\ton\tGrace,\tand\tthe\tmurders\tof his\twife\tand\tchildren.\tAnd\tas\tfar\tas\tthey\tknew\the\twas\talready\tin\tSing\tSing. \\\"You're\tnot\tgoing.\tI'll\ttalk\tto\tFather\tTim\tif\tI\thave\tto,\tGrace,\tI\tforbid\tit.\\\" \\\"Well,\twhat\tam\tI\tsupposed\tto\tdo\twith\tmyself?\\\"\tshe\tsaid,\tnear\ttears.\tShe\twas twenty-three\tyears\told\tand\tshe\thad\tabsolutely\tnothing\tto\tdo\tuntil\the\tcame\thome at\tsix\to'clock.\tHe\twouldn't\tlet\ther\twork\tat\tthe\tlaw\tfirm\teither.\tShe\tcould\thave lunch\twith\tWinnie\tonce\tin\ta\twhile,\tbut\tthat\twas\thardly\tenough\tto\tkeep\ther\tbusy.","lunch\twith\tWinnie\tonce\tin\ta\twhile,\tbut\tthat\twas\thardly\tenough\tto\tkeep\ther\tbusy. And\tWinnie\twas\ttalking\tabout\tmoving\tto\tPhiladelphia\tto\tbe\tclose\tto\ther\tmother. \\\"Go\tshopping.\tGo\tto\tschool.\tFind\ta\tcharity\tyou\tlike\tand\tsit\ton\ta\tcommittee.\tGo to\tthe\tmovies.\tEat\tbanana\tsplits,\\\"\tCharles\tsaid\tfirmly. He\twas\ttrying\tto\tcome\thome\tto\ther\tevery\tday\tfor\tlunch,\tbut\tsometimes\the couldn't\tand\twhen\tGrace\tturned\tto\tFather\tTim\tfor\tsupport\the\tturned\ther\tdown too.\tIn\tspite\tof\thimself,\tand\thow\tgood\tshe\twas\tat\tthe\twork,\tFather\tTim supported\tCharles\tin\tthat\tdecision.\tShe\thad\talready\tpaid\ttoo\thigh\ta\tprice\tfor working\tthere,\tand\tit\twas\ttime\tfor\ther\tto\tstop\tpaying\tfor\tother\tpeople's\tsins.\tShe had\ther\town\tlife\tto\tlive\tnow. \\\"Enjoy\tyour\thusband,\tbe\tgood\tto\tyourself,\tGrace.\tYou've\tearned\tit,\\\"\tthe\tpriest said\twisely,\tbut\tGrace\tstill\tfumed\tand\twas\tlooking\tfor\ta\tproject. She\twas\tthinking\tof\tapplying\tto\tschool,\tbut\tin\tNovember\tit\tbecame\ta\tmoot point,\tsix\tweeks\tto\tthe\tday\tafter\tthey\twere\tmarried. \\\"What\tare\tyou\tlooking\tso\tsmug\tabout?\tYou\tlook\tlike\tthe\tcat\tthat\tswallowed\tthe canary.\\\"\tCharles\thad\tjust\tdashed\thome\tto\thave\tlunch\twith\ther.\tHe\twas\tbecoming famous\tin\tthe\toffice\tfor\this\tlong\tlunches,\tand\this\tpartners\twere\tteasing\thim about\thow\tmuch\twork\tit\twas\tto\thave\ta\tyoung\twife.\tBut\the\tknew\tthat\tthey\twere all\tjealous,\tand\twould\thave\tgiven\tanything\tto\tbe\tin\this\tshoes\t...\tor\this\tboxers. \\\"What\thave\tyou\tbeen\tup\tto?\\\"\the\tquestioned,\twondering\tif\tshe\thad\tfound something\tto\tdo\twith\therself.\tShe'd\tbeen\tunhappy\tfor\tweeks\tover\this\tedict\tabout St.\tAndrew's. \\\"Where'd\tyou\tgo\ttoday?\\\" \\\"The\tdoctor.\\\"\tShe\tgrinned. \\\"How's\tthe\tpelvis?\\\" \\\"Fine.\tIt's\thealed\tbeautifully.\\\"\tShe\twas\tgrinning\tfrom\tear\tto\tear\tby\tthen,\tand\the was\tlaughing\tat\ther.\tShe\tlooked\tso\tcute\twhen\tshe\thad\ta\tsecret.\t\\\"There's something\telse\tthough.\\\" Charles's\tface\tgrew\tserious.\t\\\"Something\twrong?\\\" \\\"No.\\\"\tShe\tgrinned\tand\tkissed\thim\ton\tthe\tlips\tas\tshe\tunzipped\this\ttrousers. Considering\thow\tcautiously\tthey\thad\tbegun,\tthey\thad\tcertainly\tmade\tup\tfor\tit","Considering\thow\tcautiously\tthey\thad\tbegun,\tthey\thad\tcertainly\tmade\tup\tfor\tit since\ttheir\tengagement.\t\\\"We're\thaving\ta\tbaby,\\\"\tshe\twhispered\tas\the\tgrew passionate\tand\twas\tabout\tto\tlay\ther\tdown\ton\ttheir\tbed,\tand\the\tlooked\tat\ther\twith complete\tamazement. \\\"We\tare?\tNow?\\\" \\\"Not\tnow,\tsilly.\tIn\tJune.\tI\tthink\tI\tgot\tpregnant\tin\tSaint\tBart's.\\\" \\\"Wow!\\\"\tHe\twas\tgoing\tto\tbe\ta\tfather\tfor\tthe\tfirst\ttime,\tat\tforty-three,\tand\tit completely\tbowled\thim\tover.\tHe\thad\tnever\tbeen\tas\thappy\tin\this\tlife,\tand\the could\thardly\twait\tto\ttell\tthe\tentire\tworld.\t\\\"Is\tit\tstill\tall\tright\tif\twe\tmake\tlove?\\\" \\\"Are\tyou\tkidding?\\\"\tshe\tlaughed\tat\thim.\t\\\"We\tcan\tmake\tlove\ttill\tJune.\\\" \\\"Are\tyou\tsure\twe\twon't\thurt\tanything?\\\" \\\"Promise.\\\"\tThey\tmade\tlove,\tas\tthey\talways\tdid,\tinstead\tof\tlunch,\tand\tthen\the grabbed\ta\thot\tdog\tfrom\ta\tstand\ton\tthe\tstreet,\tand\tdashed\tback\tto\this\toffice.\tIt was\tthe\tbest\tlife\thad\tever\tbeen\tfor\thim,\tfar\tbetter\tthan\tbeing\tmarried\tto\ta\tmovie star,\tfar\tbetter\tthan\tany\tromance\the'd\thad\tas\ta\tkid.\tShe\twas\tperfect\tfor\thim,\tand he\tadored\ther. They\tspent\tChristmas\tin\tSt.\tMoritz,\tand\tat\tEaster\the\twanted\tto\ttake\ther\tto Hawaii,\tbut\ttook\ther\tto\tPalm\tBeach\tinstead\tbecause\tit\twas\tcloser,\tand\tshe\twas almost\tseven\tmonths\tpregnant. She\thad\tan\teasy\tpregnancy,\tand\teverything\thad\tgone\tsmoothly.\tThe\tdoctor\twas only\tmildly\tconcerned\tabout\twhat\twould\thappen\tto\ther\tpelvis\twhen\tshe delivered.\tAnd\tif\tthere\twas\tany\tsign\tof\tstrain\tat\tall,\the\thad\twarned\ther\tthat\the would\tdo\ta\tcesarean\tsection.\tBut\tfailing\tthat,\tCharles\thad\tpromised\tto\tbe\tthere, and\tin\tMay\tthey\twent\tto\ttheir\tLamaze\tclass\tat\tLenox\tHill.\tShe\thad\talready decorated\tthe\tnursery\tby\tthen,\tand\tthey\twent\tfor\tlong\twalks\tat\tnight,\tup\tMadison Avenue,\tor\tdown\tPark,\tand\ttalked\tabout\ttheir\tlife,\ttheir\tgood\tfortune,\tand\ttheir baby.\tIt\tstill\tstartled\tthem\tboth,\tand\tthey\twere\tboth\tstill\tamazed\tthat,\tin\tbed\tat least,\ther\tpast\thad\tnever\tcome\tback\tto\thaunt\tthem. He\thad\tasked\ther\tonce\thow\tshe\twould\tfeel\tif\tthe\tstory\tever\tcame\tout,\tabout\ther father,\tand\tgoing\tto\tprison,\tand\tshe\thad\tsaid\thonestly\tthat\tshe\twould\thate\tit. \\\"Why?\\\"\tShe\twondered\twhy\the\thad\teven\tasked\ther.","\\\"Why?\\\"\tShe\twondered\twhy\the\thad\teven\tasked\ther. \\\"Because\tthose\tthings\tcome\tout\tsometimes,\\\"\the\tsaid\tphilosophically.\tHe\thad learned\tthat\twith\this\tlast\twife,\tand\ther\tconstant\texposure\tin\tthe\ttabloids.\tTheir divorce\thad\tmade\ta\thuge\tstink\tand\tthey\thad\tsaid\teverything\tfrom\tthe\trumor\tthat she\twas\ton\tdrugs,\tto\tthe\tone\tthat\tshe\twas\tgay,\tto\tthe\tone\tthat\the\twas.\tAnd finally,\tthey\thad\tjust\tleft\tthem\talone,\tand\tthey\thad\tgone\ttheir\tseparate\tways.\tBut Grace's\twould\tundoubtedly\tbe\ta\tmuch\tbigger\tstory\tif\tit\tever\tcame\tout.\tBut fortunately,\tfor\tboth\tof\tthem,\tthey\twere\tnot\tin\tthe\tpublic\teye,\tand\tnot\timportant. He\twas\tjust\tan\tordinary\tcitizen\tnow,\tsince\the\twas\tno\tlonger\tmarried\tto\ta\tstar, and\tGrace\twas\tjust\this\twife.\tIt\twas\tperfect. She\twent\tinto\tlabor\tone\tnight\tas\tthey\twalked\thome.\tThey\thad\tbeen\twindow shopping\ton\tMadison\tAvenue,\tand\tshe\tscarcely\tnoticed\tthe\tfirst\tpains.\tIt\twas only\tafter\ta\twhile\tthat\tshe\trealized\twhat\thad\thappened. They\tcalled\tthe\tdoctor\tand\the\ttold\tthem\tto\ttake\ttheir\ttime,\tfirst\tbabies\twere usually\tin\tno\thurry. \\\"Are\tyou\tokay?\\\"\the\tasked\ther\ta\tthousand\ttimes,\tand\tshe\tlay\ton\ttheir\tbed, watching\tTV,\tand\teating\tJell-O.\t\\\"Are\tyou\tsure\tthat's\twhat\tyou're\tsupposed\tto do?\\\"\the\tasked\tnervously.\tHe\tfelt\ta\tthousand\tyears\told\tas\the\twatched\ther,\tfearing that\tshe\tmight\thave\ta\thard\ttime,\tor\thave\tthe\tbaby\tbefore\tthey\tleft\tthe\thouse. Lately,\ther\tbelly\thad\tlooked\tenormous. But\tshe\tseemed\tunconcerned\tas\tshe\twatched\ther\tfavorite\tshows,\tdrank\tginger ale\tand\tate\tice\tcream.\tIt\twas\talmost\tmidnight\twhen\tshe\tfinally\tstarted\tto\tlook seriously\tuncomfortable\tand\tcould\tno\tlonger\ttalk\tthrough\tthe\tpains,\twhich\the knew\twas\this\tsign\tto\ttake\ther\tto\tthe\thospital\tand\tcall\tthe\tdoctor. He\tcalled\thim\tagain,\tand\tthe\tdoctor\ttold\tthem\tto\tcome\tin. And\tas\tCharles\thelped\ther\tdown\tthe\tstairs,\tshe\tsnapped\tat\thim\tseveral\ttimes,\tand he\tsmiled\tat\ther.\tThis\twas\tthe\treal\tthing.\tPretty\tsoon,\tthey'd\thave\ta\tbaby.\tIt\twas the\tmost\texciting\tthing\tthat\thad\tever\thappened\tto\thim,\tand\tto\ther.\tAnd\tby\tthe time\tthey\tsettled\ther\tin\ta\tlabor\troom,\tshe\thad\tcalmed\tdown\tagain,\tbut\tGrace\twas surprised\tby\thow\tmuch\tthe\tcontractions\thurt,\tand\thow\tstrong\tthey\twere.\tFinally, by\ttwo\ta.m.\tshe\twas\tpanting\tand\tsaid\tshe\tcouldn't\tstand\tthem\tany\tlonger. Charles\twas\tdoing\teverything\the'd\tbeen\ttaught\tto\tdo,\tbut\tnone\tof\tit\twas\thelping, and\the\twas\tstarting\tto\tworry\tthat\tthey'd\thave\tto\tdo\ta\tcesarean\tsection.\tBut\tas\tthe pains\tgot\tworse,\tshe\tstarted\tto\tscream,\tand\tclutch\tat\thim,\tand\the\twould\thave","pains\tgot\tworse,\tshe\tstarted\tto\tscream,\tand\tclutch\tat\thim,\tand\the\twould\thave done\tanything\tto\tmake\tit\tend.\tHe\tkept\tasking\tthe\tnurses\tto\tgive\ther\tsome medication. \\\"Everything\tis\tfine,\tMr.\tMackenzie.\tYour\twife\tis\tdoing\tbeautifully.\\\" His\twife\tlooked\tlike\tshe\twas\tready\tto\tdie\tas\tshe\tscreamed\tagain,\tand\tthen\tfinally they\ttook\ther\tto\tthe\tdelivery\troom,\tand\tshe\tstarted\tpushing.\tCharles\tthought\the had\tnever\tseen\tanything\tso\tpainful,\tand\the\twas\tsorry\tthey'd\tever\tdone\tit.\tAll\the wanted\tto\tdo\twas\ttake\ther\tin\this\tarms\tagain,\tand\tmake\tthe\tpain\tstop\tfor\ther.\tBut nothing\thelped\ther\tnow,\tand\tthe\tdoctor\tdidn't\twant\tto\tgive\ther\tmedication.\tHe said\the\treally\tpreferred\tnatural\tchildbirth,\tfor\tmother\tand\tchild.\tCharles\twanted to\tkill\thim,\tas\the\twatched\twhat\tGrace\twas\tgoing\tthrough. She\tpushed\tfor\tan\thour,\tand\tit\twas\tfive\tin\tthe\tmorning\tby\tthen,\tGrace\twas\tbeside herself\twith\tpain,\tand\tincoherent\twith\tthe\tagony\tof\teach\tcontraction.\tAnd\tas\the watched\ther,\the\tvowed\tthey'd\tnever\tdo\tthis\tagain. He\twanted\tto\tapologize\tto\tGrace\tfor\tputting\ther\tthrough\tit.\tAnd\the\tswore\tto himself\tthat\tif\tshe\tand\tthe\tbaby\tboth\tcame\tout\tof\tit\talive,\the'd\tnever\tlet\tthis happen\tagain.\tAnd\tjust\tas\the\twas\tabout\tto\tpromise\tnever\tto\tlay\ta\thand\ton\ther again,\tthere\twas\ta\tterrifying\tscream\tfrom\ther,\tand\ta\tlong,\tthin\thowl,\tand suddenly\the\tfound\thimself\tlooking\tinto\tthe\tface\tof\tthe\tson\tthey\thad\tdecided\tto call\tAndrew\tCharles\tMackenzie. He\thad\thuge\tblue\teyes\tlike\tGrace,\tand\tdark\tred\thair,\tbut\teverything\telse\tabout him\twas\tCharles,\tright\tdown\tto\this\ttiny\tfingers.\tFor\this\tfather,\tit\twas\texactly\tlike looking\tinto\tthe\tmirror.\tHe\tlaughed\tand\tcried\tall\tat\tonce\tas\the\tlooked\tat\thim. \\\"Oh\tmy\tGod\t...\the's\tso\tbeautiful,\\\"\tCharles\tsaid\tin\tawe\tof\tthe\tbaby,\tand\tbent\tto kiss\this\twife.\tShe\twas\tlying\tflat\tnow,\tafter\tso\tmuch\thard\twork,\tand\tlooking suddenly\tecstatic\tas\tshe\tlaughed\tand\tsmiled\tat\ther\thusband. \\\"Is\tthe\tbaby\tall\tright?\\\"\tshe\tasked\tover\tand\tover\tagain,\tand\tas\tsoon\tas\tthey\thad cleaned\thim\toff\tand\tchecked\this\tlungs\tagain,\tthey\thanded\thim\tto\this\tmother,\tand he\tlay\tat\ther\tbreast,\tand\timmediately\tnuzzled\tclose\tto\ther,\twhile\tCharles watched\tthem. \\\"Grace\t...\thow\tcan\tI\tever\tthank\tyou?\\\"\tCharles\tsaid,\twondering\thow\the\thad managed\tto\tlive\tso\tlong\twithout\tthis\tbaby.\tAnd\thow\tbrave\tshe\twas\tto\tgo\tthrough all\tthat\tfor\thim.\tHe\thad\tnever\tbeen\tas\ttouched\tor\tas\tmuch\tin\tlove\twith\tanyone\tas","all\tthat\tfor\thim.\tHe\thad\tnever\tbeen\tas\ttouched\tor\tas\tmuch\tin\tlove\twith\tanyone\tas he\twas\twith\tGrace\tat\tthat\tmoment. They\twent\tback\tto\ther\troom\tafter\tthat,\tand\tlittle\tAndrew\tlay\tby\ther\tside,\tand much\tto\tCharles's\tastonishment,\tthey\tall\twent\thome\tthe\tnext\tmorning.\tShe\twas healthy\tand\tyoung,\tthe\tbaby\twas\tfine,\tand\tweighed\tjust\tunder\tnine\tpounds.\tThey had\thad\tnatural\tchildbirth.\tThere\twas\tno\treason\tfor\tthem\tnot\tto\tgo\thome,\ther obstetrician\texplained.\tAnd\tCharles\trealized\tthat\the\thad\ta\twhole\tnew\tworld\tto discover.\tIt\twas\tterrifying\ttaking\ta\tbaby\thome\tso\tsoon,\tbut\tGrace\tacted\tas though\tit\twas\tcompletely\tnatural,\tand\tseemed\ttotally\tat\tease\twith\ther\tson\tfrom the\tvery\tfirst\tmoment\the\twas\tborn.\tIt\ttook\tCharles\ta\tfew\tdays,\tbut\twithin\ta week,\the\tseemed\tlike\ta\tpracticed\thand,\tand\the\tbragged\tto\teveryone\tconstantly about\tthe\tbaby.\tThe\tonly\tthing\this\tfriends\tdidn't\tenvy\thim\twas\tthe\tsleepless nights\the\twas\thaving\tto\tlive\twith.\tHe\tleft\tfor\tthe\toffice\tevery\tday\tfeeling\tas though\the'd\tbeen\trunning\ton\tthe\twheel\tof\ta\thamster\tcage\tall\tnight.\tMaster Andrew\twas\twaking\tup\tevery\ttwo\thours\tto\tbe\tnursed,\tand\tit\ttook\thim\troughly\tan hour\tto\tgo\tback\tto\tsleep\tagain,\tand\tCharles\tonly\tslightly\tlonger.\tHe\tfigured\tout that\the\twas\tsleeping\tin\tfifteen-minute\tincrements,\tand\tgetting\tapproximately\ttwo and\ta\thalf\thours\tsleep\ta\tnight,\twhich\twas\troughly\tfive\tand\ta\thalf\tless\tthan\the needed.\tBut\tit\twas\tfun\tanyway,\tand\the\twas\tcrazy\tabout\this\twife\tand\tthe\tbaby. They\trented\ta\thouse\tin\tEast\tHampton\tfor\tthe\tmonth\tof\tJuly,\tand\tspent\tGrace's birthday\tthere.\tCharles\tcommuted\ttwo\tor\tthree\ttimes\ta\tweek,\tand\tshe\tcame\tback and\tforth\twith\tthe\tbaby\tto\tbe\twith\thim.\tAnd\tin\tAugust\the\ttook\ttwo\tweeks\toff and\tthey\twent\tto\tMartha's\tVineyard\tto\this\told\thouse. Grace\tthought\tshe'd\tnever\tbeen\thappier,\tand\tin\tOctober\tshe\tfound\tout\tshe\twas pregnant\tagain,\tand\tCharles\twas\tas\tdelighted\tas\tshe\twas. \\\"Why\tdon't\twe\tjust\thave\ttwins\tthis\ttime,\tand\tget\tit\tover\twith?\\\"\the\tsaid\tgood- naturedly.\tHe\twas\treally\tenjoying\ttheir\tson.\tAnd\the\twas\tonly\tgetting\tfour\tor\tfive hours\tsleep\ta\tnight\twhich\tseemed\tlike\ta\tlot\tnow.\tIt\tamused\thim\tthat\tlife\tcould change\tso\tquickly. Their\tsecond\tbaby\ttook\tlonger\tto\tcome,\tand\tonce\tagain\tCharles\tfound\thimself ready\tto\tpromise\tto\tthe\tgods\tthat\the\twould\tnever\ttouch\this\twife\tagain,\tbut\tthis time\tthe\tdoctor\tfinally\tgave\tin,\tand\tgave\ther\tsome\tmedication.\tIt\tdidn't\thelp much,\tbut\tit\twas\tsomething.\tAnd\tnineteen\thours\tafter\tlabor\tbegan,\tAbigail Mackenzie\tpushed\ther\tway\tinto\tthe\tworld\tand\tlooked\tup\tat\ther\tfather\twith\tan expression\tof\tamazement.\tHe\tmelted\ton\tthe\tspot\twhen\the\tsaw\ther.\tShe\twas\ta","expression\tof\tamazement.\tHe\tmelted\ton\tthe\tspot\twhen\the\tsaw\ther.\tShe\twas\ta miniature\tversion\tof\ther\tmother,\tonly\twith\ther\tfather's\tdark\thair.\tShe\twas\ta\treal beauty.\tAnd\tshe\tmanaged\tto\tmake\ta\tcomplete\tspectacle\tof\therself\tby\tarriving\ton her\tmother's\ttwenty-fifth\tbirthday.\tCharles\twas\talmost\tforty-five,\tand\tthose\twere the\thappy\tyears. Grace\twas\tconstantly\tbusy\twith\ther\tchildren.\tShe\twent\tto\tplaygrounds\tand\tplay groups\tand\tkindergyms,\tand\tmusic\tclasses\tfor\ttoddlers.\tShe\twas\ttotally\tinvolved in\tdoing\teverything\twith\tthem.\tShe\tworried\ta\tlot\tabout\tbeing\tboring\tto\tCharles, but\the\tseemed\tto\tlove\ttheir\tlife.\tIt\twas\tall\tso\tnew\tto\thim,\tand\the\twas\tthe\tenvy\tof all\twho\tknew\thim,\twith\ta\tyoung,\tbeautiful\twife\tand\ta\tyoung\tfamily,\the\tseemed to\thave\tthe\tworld\tby\tthe\ttail. Grace\thad\tnever\tgotten\tback\tto\ther\tcharity\twork\tagain,\talthough\tshe\tstill\ttalked about\tit.\tBut\tjust\tafter\tAndrew\twas\tborn,\tshe\tgave\ta\tgift,\tin\this\tname,\tto\tSt. Andrew's\tShelter.\tShe\tgave\tthem\tevery\tpenny\tshe\thad\tleft\tfrom\tFrank\tWills.\tIt seemed\tthe\tbest\tuse\tfor\tit\tshe\tcould\tthink\tof. In\tsome\tways,\tit\twas\tblood\tmoney\tto\ther,\tand\ta\trelic\tof\ta\tlife\tthat\thad\tbrought her\tnothing\tbut\tgrief.\tShe\twas\tsure\tthat\tFather\tTim\twould\tfind\ta\thappier\tuse\tfor it.\tAnd\tthey\tgave\tanother,\tsmaller\tgift,\twhen\tAbigail\twas\tborn.\tBut\tshe\thadn't been\tthere\tto\tvisit\tfor\ta\tlong\ttime. She\twas\ttoo\tinvolved\twith\ther\thusband\tand\tchildren. For\tthree\tyears\tafter\tAbigail\twas\tborn,\tGrace\tspent\tevery\tdaytime\tmoment\twith them,\tand\ther\tevenings\twith\tCharles,\tgoing\tto\tpartners'\tdinners\tand\tdinner parties.\tThey\twent\tto\tthe\ttheater,\tand\the\tintroduced\ther\tto\tthe\topera,\tand\tshe found\tthat\tshe\tliked\tit.\tHer\tentire\tlife\twas\topening\tup,\tand\tat\ttimes\tshe\tfelt guilty,\tknowing\tthat\tin\tother\tplaces,\tother\tlives,\tpeople\twere\tless\tfortunate,\tand were\tsuffering\tas\tshe\tonce\thad.\tShe\twas\tso\tlucky\tand\tso\tfree\tnow. She\twondered\twhat\thad\thappened\tto\tLuna\tand\tSally\tsometimes,\tand\tthe\twomen she\thad\ttried\tto\thelp\tat\tSt.\tAndrew's.\tBut\tthere\tdidn't\tseem\tto\tbe\ttime\tfor\tthings like\tthat\tanymore.\tShe\tthought\tabout\tDavid\tin\tCalifornia\tsometimes\ttoo,\tand wondered\twhere\the\twas\tnow.\tHer\tlife\tseemed\tso\tfar\tremoved\tfrom\tthose troubled\tyears.\tSometimes\teven\tshe\thad\ta\thard\ttime\tremembering\tthat\tshe\thad had\tany\tother\tlife\tbefore\tmarrying\tCharles.\tIt\twas\tas\tthough\tshe\thad\tbeen\tborn again\tthe\tday\tshe\tmet\thim. She\twanted\tto\thave\tanother\tbaby\tonce\tAbigail\tstarted\tnursery\tschool,\tbut\tthis time\tit\tdidn't\tseem\tto\thappen.\tShe\twas\tonly\ttwenty-eight\tby\tthen,\tand\ther\tdoctor","time\tit\tdidn't\tseem\tto\thappen.\tShe\twas\tonly\ttwenty-eight\tby\tthen,\tand\ther\tdoctor said\tit\twas\thard\tto\tknow\twhy\tsometimes\tit\twas\teasier\tto\tget\tpregnant\tthan others.\tBut\tshe\talso\tknew\tthat\twith\tall\tshe'd\tbeen\tthrough\tbefore,\tshe'd\tbeen lucky\tto\tget\tpregnant\tat\tall,\tand\tshe\twas\tgrateful\tto\thave\tthe\ttwo\tchildren\tshe had.\tShe\twould\tstand\tthere\tand\tjust\tsmile\tat\tthem\tsometimes,\twatching\tthem. And\tthen\tshe\tand\tAndrew\twould\tgo\tto\tthe\tkitchen\tand\tmake\tcupcakes,\tor\tshe and\tAbigail\twould\tcut\tout\tpaper\tdolls,\tor\tstring\tbeads,\tor\tmake\tpictures\twith spaghetti.\tShe\tloved\tbeing\twith\tthem,\tand\tshe\tnever\tgot\tbored,\tor\ttired\tof\tthem. And\tthen\tone\tmorning,\tas\tshe\twas\twaiting\tto\tpick\tthem\tup\tfrom\tnursery\tschool, she\tsat\tin\ther\tkitchen\treading\tthe\tpaper\tand\thaving\ta\tcup\tof\tcoffee.\tAnd\tas\tshe read\tthe\theadline\tof\tthe\tNew\tYork\tTimes,\tshe\tfelt\ther\tstomach\tturn\tover.\tA\tNew psychiatrist\thad\tkilled\this\tadopted\tchild,\ta\tsix-year-old\tgirl,\tand\this\tbattered, hysterical\twife\thad\tstood\tby\thelplessly\tand\twatched\thim\tdo\tit.\tIt\tbrought\ttears\tto her\teyes\tas\tshe\tread\tabout\tit.\tIt\twas\tinconceivable,\the\twas\tan\teducated\tman,\twith an\timportant\tpractice,\tand\ta\tteaching\tposition\twith\ta\tmajor\tmedical\tschool. And\tstill\the\thad\tkilled\ttheir\tlittle\tgirl.\tThey\thad\thad\ther\tsince\tbirth,\tand\ttheir natural\tchild\thad\tdied\tin\tan\taccident\ttwo\tyears\tbefore,\twhich\twas\tnow considered\tsuspect.\tGrace\tstarted\tto\tcry\tas\tshe\tread\tabout\tit,\twanting\tto\tcomfort the\tlittle\tgirl,\timagining\ther\tcries\tas\ther\tfather\tbeat\ther.\tIt\twas\tso\tvivid\tthat\teven after\tshe\tleft\tfor\tschool,\tshe\twas\tstill\tcrying.\tAnd\tshe\twas\tquiet\tas\tshe\tand\tthe children\twalked\thome\tfor\tlunch.\tAndrew\tasked\this\tmother\twhat\twas\tthe\tmatter. \\\"Nothing,\\\"\tshe\tstarted\tto\tsay,\tand\tthen\tthought\tbetter\tof\tit.\tShe\twanted\tto\tbe honest\twith\thim.\t\\\"I'm\tsad.\\\" \\\"Why,\tMommy?\\\"\tHe\twas\tfour\tyears\told\tand\tthe\tcutest\tlittle\tboy\tshe'd\tever\tseen. He\tlooked\tjust\tlike\tCharles\texcept\tfor\this\tdark\tred\thair\tand\tblue\teyes,\tbut\tall\this features\tand\texpressions\twere\this\tfather's.","It\talways\tmade\ther\tsmile\tjust\tlooking\tat\thim,\tbut\ttoday,\teven\tseeing\ther\town children\tmade\ther\tgrieve\tfor\tthe\tlittle\tgirl\twho\thad\tbeen\tkilled. \\\"Why\tare\tyou\tsad?\\\"\tAndrew\tpersisted,\tand\ther\teyes\tfilled\twith\ttears\tas\tshe\ttried to\tanswer. \\\"Somebody\thurt\ta\tlittle\tgirl,\tand\tit\tmade\tme\tsad\twhen\tI\theard\tabout\tit.\\\" \\\"Did\tshe\tgo\tto\tthe\thospital?\\\"\the\tasked\tsolemnly.\tHe\tloved\tambulances\tand police\tcars\tand\tsirens,\teven\tthough\tthey\tscared\thim\ta\tlittle\ttoo. But\tmostly\tthey\tfascinated\thim.\tHe\twas\ta\tlively\tchild. Grace\twasn't\tsure\twhat\tto\tsay\tto\thim\tthen,\twhether\tor\tnot\tto\ttell\thim\tthat\tshe\twas dead.\tBut\tthat\twas\tjust\ttoo\tmuch\tto\ttell\ta\tfour-year-old\tchild.\t\\\"I\tthink\tso, Andrew.\tI\tthink\tshe's\tvery\tsick.\\\" \\\"Let's\tmake\ther\ta\tpicture.\\\"\tGrace\tnodded,\tand\tturned\ther\thead\taway\tso\the wouldn't\tsee\ther\tcry.\tThere\twould\tbe\tno\tmore\tpictures\tfor\tthat\tlittle\tgirl\t...\tno loving\thands\t...\tno\tone\tto\tsave\ther. There\twas\ta\thuge\toutcry\tin\tNew\tYork\tover\tthe\tnext\tfew\tdays.\tPeople\twere shocked\tand\toutraged.\tTeachers\tat\tthe\tprivate\tschool\twhere\tshe\thad\tbeen\tin\tfirst grade\tdefended\tthemselves,\tclaiming\tthat\tthey\thad\tsuspected\tnothing.\tShe\thad been\ta\tfrail\tchild\tand\tbruised\teasily,\tand\tshe\thad\tnever\tsaid\tanything\tabout\twhat was\thappening\tat\thome.\tBut\thearing\tthat\tinfuriated\tGrace.\tChildren\tnever\ttold\tof abuse\tat\thome,\tthey\talways\tdefended\ttheir\tabusers.\tAnd\tteachers\tknew\tthat,\tand had\tto\tbe\tespecially\talert\tthese\tdays. For\tdays\tpeople\tleft\tflowers\tand\tbouquets\toutside\tthe\tPark\tAvenue\tbuilding where\tshe'd\tlived,\tand\twhen\tGrace\tand\tCharles\tdrove\tby\tit\tthe\tnext\tday,\ton\ttheir way\tto\tdinner\twith\tfriends,\tGrace\tfelt\ta\tsob\tcatch\tin\ther\tthroat\tas\tshe\tcaught sight\tof\ta\tbig\tpink\theart,\tmade\tof\ttiny\troses,\twith\tthe\tlittle\tgirl's\tname\twritten\ton a\tpink\tribbon\tacross\tit. \\\"I\tcan't\tbear\tit,\\\"\tshe\tcried\tinto\ta\thandkerchief\the\thanded\ther.\t\\\"I\tknow\twhat\tit's like,\\\"\tshe\twhispered\t...\twhy\tdon't\tpeople\tunderstand? Why\tdon't\tthey\tsee?\tWhy\tcan't\tthey\tstop\tit?\tWhy\tdid\tno\tone\tsuspect\twhat\twent on\tbehind\tclosed\tdoors\twhen\tatrocities\twere\thappening\tthere?","on\tbehind\tclosed\tdoors\twhen\tatrocities\twere\thappening\tthere? The\treal\ttragedy\twas\tthat\tsometimes\tpeople\tdid\tknow\tand\tdid\tnothing\tabout\tit.\tIt was\tthat\tindifference\tthat\tshe\twanted\tto\tstop.\tShe\twanted\tto\tshake\tpeople\tto wake\tthem. Charles\tput\tan\tarm\taround\ther\tshoulders\tthen.\tIt\thurt\thim\tto\tthink\tof\twhat\tshe must\thave\tgone\tthrough,\tit\tmade\thim\twant\tto\tbe\tgood\tto\ther\tevery\tday,\tto\tmake up\tfor\tall\tof\tit,\tand\the\thad\tbeen. \\\"I\twant\tto\tgo\tback\tto\twork,\\\"\tshe\tsaid\tas\tthey\tdrove\talong\tin\tthe\tcab,\tand\the looked\tat\ther,\tstartled. \\\"In\tan\toffice?\\\"\tHe\tcouldn't\timagine\twhy\tshe\twould\twant\tto\tdo\tthat\tagain.\tShe was\tso\thappy\tat\thome\twith\ttheir\tchildren. But\tshe\tsmiled\tat\thim\tas\tshe\tshook\ther\thead\tand\tblew\ther\tnose\tagain. \\\"Of\tcourse\tnot\t...\tunless\tyou\tneed\ta\tnew\tsecretary,\\\"\tshe\tteased,\tand\the\tgrinned. \\\"Not\tthat\tI\tknow\tof.\tSo\twhat\tdid\tyou\thave\tin\tmind?\\\" \\\"I\twas\tthinking\tof\tthat\tlittle\tgirl\t...\tI'd\tlike\tto\tgo\tback\tto\tworking\twith\tbattered women\tand\tkids\tagain.\\\"\tHer\tdeath\thad\treminded\tGrace\tagain\tof\ther\tdebt,\tto\thelp those\twho\twere\tliving\tthe\tsame\thell\tthat\tshe\thad.\tShe\thad\tescaped,\tand\tshe\thad come\tto\ta\tbetter\tplace\tin\ther\tlife,\tbut\tshe\tcould\tnot\tforget\tthem.\tShe\tknew\tthat, in\tsome\tway,\tshe\twould\talways\thave\ta\tneed\tto\treach\ta\thand\tback\tto\tthem,\tto offer\tto\thelp\tthem. \\\"Not\tat\tSt.\tAndrew's,\\\"\the\tsaid\tfirmly.\tHe\thad\tnever\tlet\ther\tgo\tback\tthere\tto\twork again,\tonly\tto\tvisit,\tonce\tthey\twere\tmarried.\tAnd\tFather\tTim\thad\tbeen transferred\tto\tBoston\tthe\tyear\tbefore,\tto\tstart\ta\tsimilar\tshelter\tthere.\tThey\thad had\ta\tChristmas\tcard\tfrom\thim.\tBut\tGrace\thad\tsomething\telse\tin\tmind. Something\tmore\tcomplicated,\tand\tfar-reaching. \\\"What\tabout\tstarting\tsome\tkind\tof\torganization,\\\"\tshe\thad\tbeen\tthinking\tabout\tit for\ttwo\tdays,\ttrying\tto\tfigure\tout\thow\tshe\tcould\thelp,\tand\treally\tmake\ta difference,\t\\\"that\twould\treach\tout\tto\tpeople,\tnot\tonly\tin\tghettos\tbut\tmiddle-class neighborhoods,\twhere\tthe\tabuse\tis\tmore\tof\ta\tsurprise\tand\tbetter\thidden.\tWhat about\treaching\tout\ttoward\teducation,\tto\tteach\teducators\tand\tparents\tand clergymen\tand\tday-care\tworkers,\tand\teveryone\twho\tworks\twith\tkids,\twhat\tto","clergymen\tand\tday-care\tworkers,\tand\teveryone\twho\tworks\twith\tkids,\twhat\tto look\tfor\tand\thow\tto\tdeal\twith\tit\twhen\tthey\tsee\tit\t...\tand\treaching\tout\tto\tthe public,\tpeople\tlike\tyou\tand\tme,\tand\tour\tneighbors\tand\tall\tthe\tpeople\twho\tsee abused\tkids\tevery\tday\tand\tdon't\tknow\tit.\\\"\t\\\"That\tsounds\tlike\ta\tbig\tbite,\\\"\the\tsaid gently,\t\\\"but\tit's\ta\tgreat\tidea.\tIsn't\tthere\tsome\texisting\tprogram\tyou\tcould\tlatch\ton to?\\\" \\\"There\tmight\tbe.\\\"\tBut\tfive\tyears\tago\tthere\thadn't\tbeen,\tthere\twas\tonly\tthe occasional\tshelter\tlike\tSt.\tAndrew's.\tAnd\tthe\tvarious\tcommittees\tset\tup\tto\thelp victims\tof\tabuse\tshe\theard\tof\tseemed\tto\tbe\tbadly\trun\tand\tineffective.\t\\\"I\tdon't really\tknow\twhere\tto\tstart.\tMaybe\tI\tneed\tto\tdo\tsome\tresearch.\\\" \\\"Maybe\tyou\tneed\tto\tstop\tworrying\tso\tmuch,\\\"\the\tsaid,\tsmiling\tat\ther\tin\tthe\tcab, as\the\tleaned\tover\tand\tkissed\ther.\t\\\"The\tlast\ttime\tyou\tlet\tyour\tbig\theart\trun\taway with\tyou,\tyou\tgot\tpretty\tbadly\tbeaten\tup.\tMaybe\tit's\ttime\tfor\tyou\tto\tlet\tother people\ttake\tcare\tof\tit.\tI\tdon't\twant\tyou\tgetting\thurt\tagain.\\\" \\\"If\tI\thadn't,\tyou'd\tnever\thave\tmarried\tme,\\\"\tshe\tsaid\tsmugly,\tand\the\tlaughed. \\\"Don't\tbe\tso\tsure.\tI'd\thad\tmy\teye\ton\tyou\tfor\ta\twhile.\tI\tjust\tcouldn't\tfigure\tout why\tyou\thated\tme\tso\tmuch.\\\" \\\"I\tdidn't\thate\tyou.\tI\twas\tscared\tof\tyou.\tThat's\tdifferent.\\\"\tThey\tboth\tsmiled, remembering\tthe\tdays\twhen\tthey\thad\tmet\tand\tfallen\tin\tlove. Things\thadn't\tchanged\tat\tall\tsince,\tthey\twere\tmore\tin\tlove\tthan\tever. And\twhen\tthey\tcame\tback\tfrom\tdinner\tthat\tnight,\tGrace\tstarted\ttalking\tabout\ther idea\tagain.\tShe\ttalked\tabout\tit\tfor\tweeks,\tand\tfinally\tCharles\tcouldn't\tstand\tit. \\\"Okay,\tokay\t...\tI\tunderstand.\tYou\twant\tto\thelp.\tNow\twhere\tdo\twe\tstart?\tLet's\tdo something\tabout\tit.\\\" In\tthe\tend,\the\ttalked\tto\ta\tfew\tfriends,\tand\tsome\tof\this\tpartners\tat\tthe\tlaw\tfirm, some\tof\ttheir\twives\twere\tinterested,\tand\tothers\thad\tuseful\treferences\tand suggestions.\tAt\tthe\tend\tof\ttwo\tmonths,\tGrace\thad\ta\twealth\tof\tresearch\tand material,\tand\tshe\tknew\texactly\twhat\tshe\twanted\tto\tdo. She\thad\ttalked\tto\ta\tpsychologist\tshe\thad\tmet,\tand\tthe\thead\tof\tthe\tchildren's school,\tand\tshe\tdecided\tthat\tshe\thad\twhat\tshe\tneeded.","She\teven\ttracked\tdown\tSister\tEugene\tfrom\tSt.\tAndrew's,\tand\tshe\tgave\ther\tsome names\tof\tpeople\twho\twould\tbe\twilling\tto\twork\thands-on\tand\twouldn't\texpect\ta lot\tof\tmoney\tfor\tit.\tShe\tneeded\tvolunteers,\tpsychologists,\tteachers,\tsome businessmen,\twomen,\tand\teven\tvictims. She\twas\tgoing\tto\tput\ttogether\ta\tteam\tof\tpeople\twho\twere\twilling\tto\tgo\tout\tinto the\tcommunity\tand\ttell\tpeople\twhat\tthey\tneeded\tto\tknow\tabout\tabuse\tof\tall kinds\tagainst\tchildren. She\tset\tup\tan\torganization\tand\tgave\tit\ta\tsimple\tname.\t\\\"Help\tKids!\\\"\twas\twhat she\tcalled\tit,\tand\tat\tfirst\tshe\tran\tit\tout\tof\ther\thome,\tand\tafter\tsix\tmonths\tshe rented\tan\toffice\ton\tLexington\tAvenue\ttwo\tblocks\tfrom\ttheir\thouse.\tBy\tthen,\tshe had\ta\tteam\tof\ttwenty-one\tpeople\twho\twere\ttalking\tto\tschools,\tparents'\tgroups, teachers'\tassociations,\tpeople\twho\tran\textracurricular\tactivities\tlike\tballet\tand baseball. She\twas\tamazed\tat\thow\tmany\tbookings\tthey\tgot.\tAnd\tshe\tshook\tlike\ta\tleaf\tthe first\ttime\tshe\tgave\ta\ttalk\therself.\tShe\ttold\ta\tgroup\tof\tpeople\tshe\thad\tnever\tmet how\tshe\thad\tbeen\tabused\tas\ta\tchild,\thow\tno\tone\thad\tseen\tit,\tand\tno\tone\thad wanted\tto,\tand\thow\teveryone\thad\tthought\ther\tfather\twas\tthe\tgreatest\tguy\tin town.\t\\\"Maybe\the\twas,\\\"\tshe\tsaid,\ther\tvoice\tshaking\tas\tshe\tfought\tback\ttears,\t\\\"but not\tto\tme,\tor\tmy\tmother.\\\" She\tdidn't\ttell\tthem\tthat\tshe\thad\tkilled\thim\tto\tsave\therself.\tBut\twhat\tshe\tdid\ttell them\tmoved\tthem\tdeeply.\tAll\tof\ttheir\tspeakers\thad\tstories\tlike\tthat,\tsome\tof them\tfirsthand,\tand\tsome\tof\tthem\tabout\tstudents\tor\tpatients.\tBut\tthe\tpeople\tshe organized\tto\tspeak\twere\tall\tpowerful\tin\ttheir\tmessage.\tIt\twas\ta\tmessage\tthat came\tstraight\tfrom\tthe\theart. Help\tkids!\tAnd\tthey\tmeant\tit. The\tnext\tthing\tshe\tdid\twas\tset\tup\ta\thot\tline\tfor\tpeople\twho\tknew\tabout\tabusive friends\tor\tneighbors,\tor\tparents\twho\twanted\thelp,\tor\tkids\tin\tbad\tsituations.\tShe did\teverything\tshe\tcould\tto\traise\tfunds\tto\tplace\tads\tand\tbuy\tbillboards\twith\tthe hot\tline\tnumber\ton\tit,\tand\tshe\tmanaged\tto\tkeep\tit\tmanned\ttwenty-four\thours\ta day,\twhich\twas\tno\tsmall\tfeat.\tIt\twas\talmost\ta\trelief\twhen\ta\tyear\tand\ta\thalf\tlater Abigail\twent\tto\tkindergarten,\tbecause\tit\tgave\ther\tmore\ttime\tfor\t\\\"Help\tKids!\\\" although\tshe\tmissed\thaving\ther\tat\thome\tat\televen-thirty.\tShe\tmanaged\tto\tkeep all\ther\twork\tdown\tto\ta\tdull\troar\tso\tthat\tshe\tcould\tspend\ther\tafternoons\twith\ther children.\tBut\t\\\"Help\tKids!\\\"\thad\tgrown\tto\ta\tfull-scale\toffice\tby\tthen,\tand\tit\twas","children.\tBut\t\\\"Help\tKids!\\\"\thad\tgrown\tto\ta\tfull-scale\toffice\tby\tthen,\tand\tit\twas funded\tby\tfive\tfoundations.\tAnd\tthey\twere\tcurrently\tin\tthe\tprocess\tof\traising money\tand\tfree\tcreative\thelp\tfor\tcommercials.\tShe\twanted\tto\torganize\ta\tTV campaign\tto\treach\teven\tdeeper\tinto\tthe\tcommunity.\tAgain\tand\tagain\tshe\ttried\tto touch\tthe\tkids\twho\twere\tbeing\tabused,\tand\tthe\tpeople\twho\tknew\tit. She\twas\tless\tinterested\tin\treaching\tthe\tabusive\tparents.\tMost\tof\tthem\twere\ttoo sick\teven\tto\twant\thelp,\tand\tit\twas\trare\tthat\tthey\tthemselves\twould\tstep\tforward and\task\tfor\tit.\tIt\twas\teasier\tto\tget\tthe\tpoint\tacross\tto\tobservers. It\twas\thard\tto\tjudge\twhat\tkind\tof\tresults\tthey\twere\tgetting,\texcept\tthat\ttheir\thot line\twas\tjammed\tnight\tand\tday\twith\tdesperate\tcallers. They\twere\tusually\tneighbors,\tfriends,\tteachers\twho\tweren't\tsure\twhether\tor\tnot to\tcome\tforward,\tand\tmore\tand\tmore\tlately\tthey\thad\tbeen\tgetting\tcalls\tfrom\tkids telling\thorrifying\tstories.\tGrace\tand\tCharles\tanswered\tphones\tthemselves\tfor two\tlong\tshifts\ta\tweek,\tand\tmore\toften\tthan\tnot,\tCharles\tcame\thome\tand\tached over\tthe\tthings\the\theard.\tIt\twas\timpossible\tnot\tto\tcare\tabout\tthose\tchildren.\tThe only\tpeople\twho\tdidn't\twere\ttheir\tparents. Grace\twas\tso\tbusy\tshe\thardly\tnoticed\tthe\tdays\tfly\tby\tanymore,\tand\tshe\twas happier\tthan\tever.\tShe\twas\tparticularly\tsurprised\twhen\tshe\tgot\ta\tletter,\tpraising what\tshe'd\tdone,\tfrom\tthe\tFirst\tLady.\tShe\tsaid\tthat\tpeople\tlike\tGrace\tmade\ta\treal difference\tin\tthe\tworld,\tlike\tMother\tTeresa. \\\"Is\tshe\tkidding?\\\"\tGrace\tlaughed\tin\tembarrassment\tas\tshe\tshowed\tthe\tletter\tto Charles\twhen\tit\tarrived.\tIt\twas\tembarrassing,\tbut\texciting. What\tmeant\tmore\tthan\tanything\tto\ther\twas\thelping\tthose\tkids,\tbut\tit\twas\tnice\tto be\trecognized\tfor\tit\ttoo.\tAnd\tCharles\twas\tgenerous\twith\this\tpraise.\tHe\twas pleased\tfor\ther,\tand\tgenuinely\texcited\twhen\tthey\tgot\tinvited\tto\tthe\tWhite\tHouse for\tdinner.\tIt\thad\tbeen\tdeclared\tthe\tYear\tof\tthe\tChild,\tand\tthey\twanted\tto\tgive Grace\tan\taward\tfor\ther\tcontribution\twith\t\\\"Help\tKids!\\\"\t\\\"I\tcan't\taccept\tthat,\\\"\tshe said\tuncomfortably,\t\\\"think\tof\tall\tthe\tpeople\tit\ttook\tto\tput\tHelp\tKids!\\\"\ttogether, think\tof\tall\tthe\tpeople\twho\twork\twith\tus\tnow\tin\tone\tcapacity\tor\tanother.\\\" Almost\tnone\tof\tthem\twas\tpaid,\tand\tall\tof\tthem\tgave\tof\ttheir\thearts\tand\tsouls, some\tgave\tgenerously\tfrom\ttheir\tpockets.\t\\\"Why\tshould\tI\tget\tall\tthe recognition?\\\" It\tdidn't\tseem\tright\tto\ther,\tand\tshe\tdidn't\twant\tto\tgo\tto\tthe\tdinner. She\tthought\tthe\taward\tshould\tbe\tgiven\tto\t\\\"Help\tKids!\\\"\tas\tan\torganization,\tnot\tto","She\tthought\tthe\taward\tshould\tbe\tgiven\tto\t\\\"Help\tKids!\\\"\tas\tan\torganization,\tnot\tto her\tas\tan\tindividual\tperson. \\\"Think\tof\twho\tstarted\tit,\\\"\tCharles\tsaid,\tsmiling\tat\ther.\tShe\thad\tno\tidea\twhat\ta difference\tshe\twas\tmaking\tin\tthe\tworld,\tand\the\tloved\tthat\tabout\ther.\tShe\thad turned\ta\tlifetime\tof\tpain\tinto\ta\tblessing\tfor\tso\tmany.\tAnd\tevery\tmoment\tof happiness\the\tcould\tgive\ther\twas\ta\tjoy\tto\thim. Charles\thad\tnever\tbeen\thappier,\tand\the\tloved\ther\tdeeply.\tShe\twas\ta\tgood\twife,\ta good\twoman,\tand\tsomeone\the\trespected\tdeeply.\t\\\"I\tthink\twe\tshould\tgo\tto Washington.\tI,\tfor\tone,\twould\tcertainly\tenjoy\tit.\tTell\tyou\twhat,\tI'll\tcollect\tthe award\tand\ttell\tthem\tit\twas\tall\tmy\tidea\tto\tstart\tHelp\tKids!\\\" \\\"\tHe\twas\tteasing\ther\tand\tshe\tlaughed\tabout\tit.\tShe\targued\twith\thim\tfor\ttwo weeks,\tbut\the\thad\talready\taccepted\tthe\tinvitation\ton\ther\tbehalf,\tand\tfinally, grumbling,\tthey\thired\ta\tsitter\tthey\tknew\tto\thelp\ttheir\thousekeeper,\tand\tflew\tto Washington\ton\ta\tsnowy\tafternoon\tin\tDecember. She\tswore\tit\twas\tan\tomen\tof\tdoom,\tbut\tas\tsoon\tas\tthey\treached\tPennsylvania Avenue,\tshe\tknew\tthat\tshe\thad\tbeen\tfoolish.\tThe\tWhite\tHouse\tChristmas\ttree sparkled\tcheerily\tin\tfront\tof\tthem\tand\tthe\tentire\tscene\tlooked\tlike\ta\tNorman Rockwell\tpainting. They\twere\tled\tinside\tby\tMarines,\tand\tGrace\talmost\tfelt\ther\tknees\tshake\tas\tshe shook\thands\twith\tthe\tPresident\tand\tthen\tthe\tFirst\tLady. There\twere\tseveral\tpeople\tat\tthe\treception\tCharles\tknew,\tand\the\tkept\tGrace's hand\ttucked\tinto\this\tarm\tto\tgive\ther\tcourage,\tand\tintroduced\ther\tto\ta\tnumber\tof attorneys\tand\tsome\tcongressmen\twho\twere\told\tfriends. An\told\tfriend\tfrom\tNew\tYork\tteased\tCharles\tabout\twhen\the\twas\tgoing\tto\tget brave\tand\tget\tinto\tthe\tpolitical\twaters\thimself.\tHe\thad\tonce\tbeen\ta\tpartner\tin Charles's\tlaw\tfirm. \\\"I\tdon't\tthink\tthat's\tfor\tme.\tI'm\ttoo\tbusy\ttaking\tkids\tto\tschool\tand\tanswering phones\tfor\tGrace,\\\"\tCharles\tsaid\twith\ta\tsmile,\tbut\the\thad\ta\tgood\ttime,\tand\teven chatted\tfor\ta\tfew\tmoments\twith\tthe\tPresident,\twho\tsaid\the\twas\tfamiliar\twith Charles's\tlaw\tfirm,\tand\tcomplimented\thim\ton\this\thandling\tof\ta\tdifficult\tmatter the\tyear\tbefore\tthat\tinvolved\tsome\tgovernment\tcontracts. After\tdinner,\tthey\tdanced,\tand\tthere\twas\ta\twonderful\tchildren's\tchorus\tto\tsing"]
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