The Happiness Hack_ How to Take Charge of Your Brain and Program More Happiness into Your Life ( PDFDrive )

Know Your Brain piness for generations. Happiness, Aristippus (c. 435–2­56 BCE), was s possible. Indulgence was the goal. rth. d the term “hedonic happiness,” ve and indulgent pleasures or the ppiness,” taught by Aristotle (384–­ eing found in aligning with purpose, ieving growth. This happiness grew quest to actualize our potential. wouldn’t have made Aristotle’s cut ient Greece). Guilty pleasures and the eudaimonic menu. ay have lived before the dawn of heir thinking pointed to something t feelings of happiness correlate to rent brain chemicals. y, are the domain of dopamine: the d with the chase of a desired object. ted, or having “just one more” are ehaviors that don’t usually lead to e other hand, are linked to a differ- ich increases feelings of worthi- eem. “To increase serotonin,” says r Christopher Bergland, “challenge 31

The Happine yourself regularly and pursue th meaning, and accomplishment. produces a feedback loop that rein an upward spiral of serotonin.” Both dopamine and serotonin he ness. Yet for all of the good dop helping us learn, literally getting us havoc on blood pressure, cause ner It’s associated with compulsive or drive distraction, impulsivity, and la Serotonin is different. Generally naturally produce too much of it. H low levels of serotonin are associat mood swings, and depression. So e choosing Aristotle’s way over Aristi well as your brain. Now, brain chemicals aren’t ba sary, and they each contribute bodies functioning. But many casinos, advertisers, p ogy designers understand, or at lea work—­and use them to their adva ate plan to hook you on what the more. Even without intent, anyon the dark side of dopamine’s power promising you satisfaction through There’s a big difference betwe 32

ess Hack hings that reinforce purpose, Being able to say ‘I did it!’ nforces confidence and creates elp us feel pleasure and happi- pamine does—­motivating us, s up and moving—i­t can wreak rvous tics, and elevate anxiety. r addictive behaviors and can ack of self-­control. y speaking, the body doesn't Having too little is a bigger issue: ted with lethargy, binge eating, earning healthier happiness by ippus’s is good for your body as ad or good. They’re all neces- to keeping our minds and politicians, and even technol- ast intuit, how these chemicals antage. Often, there’s a deliber- ey offer and keep you wanting ne with an agenda can exploit by activating your desires and h what they offer. een the satisfaction Aristotle

Getting to K encouraged and the indulgenc pondered happiness long ago remain at least as relevant toda What causes it, and why do we willing to do to build that happ And are we sure the happi satisfaction, rather than the easy gence dangled before us at ever

Know Your Brain ce Aristippus sought. Though they o, the questions they asked then ay. What is the happiness we seek? e long for it? Above all, what are we piness? iness we’re seeking is actually real y tumble into distraction and indul- ry turn in the modern world? 33

Building Connecti We’re taught that “ withdraw or feel alo something sexual, mat in truth, it’s the circ and minds hinting to of our TVs and com many of us mistake fo a need to be underst come to fruition. —S­ UZY

ions “alienation,” when we one, is a craving for terial, or physical…when cuitry within our souls o be connected outside mputer monitors. What or depression is actually tood, or to see desires Y KASSEM, AUTHOR, ARTIST

L ooking at the te assume we all feel more co After all, billions of u search Google 2.5 billion times messages every twenty-four hou On Snapchat, we share 9,00 Yet other data—­about p different story. One out of four Americans One in five finds it persistent. D health risk, predicted to be th medical condition (heart disea depression, research shows, is o We may be connected, tech connections don’t necessarily le might be making us feel more a real people, is at the very core o Interaction vs. Tr Access to technology has broug make life easier, smoother, and tech to help us do more faste number of everyday processes. Efficiencies are great. But lives mean more than simply done. Satisfaction doesn’t grow meaningless, faster and faster.

echnology and data,you might onnected to each other than ever. us log in to Facebook every day. We s and send more than 6 billion text urs. And the count is rising. 00 snaps per second. people, not technology—t­ells a reports struggling with loneliness. Depression is on the rise as a global he world’s second most prevalent ase is number one) by 2020. And often a disease of loneliness. chnically speaking. But our digital eave us feeling that way. In fact, they alone. And feeling connected, with of our ability to be happy. ransaction ght us all kinds of efficiencies that d more predictable. We rely on our er and to automate an increasing they’re not why we’re here. Our saving time so we can get more w from doing more stuff, some of it 35

The Happine And all that time we spend st waking hours for the average Ame on things that can make us happier. Screens don’t lead us to happines hearts feel it. Stress levels climb, yea how to break the cycle. Our bodies know it too. Lonelin a metaphor. UCLA psychologist N feelings of loneliness and exclusion t brain regions associated with sense her research showed, could hurt so We’re here to interact, not simply seem to know this. But distraction tions promise easy answers and qui keep clicking. Happiness for an ho Happiness for a d Happiness for a year: Happiness for a lifetime? —­CHINESE P Messages all around us try to simply one more purchase, night on as FOMO (fear of missing out) riv to document rather than enjoy the flurries of “likes”), many of us feel m action of capturing and sharing ou 36

ess Hack taring at screens—h­ alf of our erican—i­s time we don’t spend r. ss. Our brains know it, and our ear over year, yet nobody knows ness hurts, and that’s more than Naomi Eisenberger studied how triggered activity in some of the es of physical pain. Social pain, much people physically felt it. y to transact. On some level, we ns from tech and other tempta- ick fixes only a click away, so we our: take a nap. day: go fishing. : inherit a fortune. ? Help someone else. PROVERB convince us that happiness is n the town, or date away. Even vets us to our devices, calling us moment (in hopes of winning more and more alone. The very ur moments directs us toward

Building our tech and away from the on real world and the people aroun Not convinced? Multiple st quick picture, we barely retain saw. The brain seems to decide it doesn’t bother to map it. We Social platforms put us in t action. A quick “like” or “sad fa person on the other side of the that may feel like happiness, but we liked or were sad about on does it really connect us to peo media about friends’ losses or h the loss when we encounter tha As we tune in to our tech inst

Connections nly lasting source of happiness: the nd us. tudies show that when we snap a n the memory of what the camera e we’ve outsourced that memory, so capture it. Yet we don’t retain it. the shallows, so to speak, of inter- ace” may signal engagement to the e post and release a quick chemical t it’s fleeting. Our retention of what n social platforms doesn’t last. Nor ople. We’ve all seen posts on social heartbreaks. Yet we may not recall at friend in real life. tead of to each other, we pay a price. 37

It is not the darkness but o that everywh the true, an and the bea that ironica themselves a profound. It is and fearless that everyw modern dang everywhere calls to us —­K E N W IL BU R, SCHOLAR

e forces of of shallowness here threaten nd the good, autiful, and ally address as deep and an exuberant shallowness where is the ger, and that nonetheless as savior. PSYCHOLOGIST, , AUTHOR

Building Connecting IRL Connecting IRL (in real life) is it once was. Even in the real w at your favorite coffee shop and at their phones, not at each oth even as they place their order an “hello” or “thank you” to the p may think this doesn’t matter: t register in the brain as connecti A smile activates mirror n when we act and when we obs literally contagious. Smiles are activate neuropeptides that w

Connections no longer the simple, natural action world, we disconnect. Scan the line d see how many people are looking her. How many stay glued to them nd leave the counter without saying person who took their order? We that small, casual interactions don’t ion. But they do. neurons—special signals that fire serve others acting—making grins e like parties for the brain. They work to reduce stress and spread 39

The Happine happy messages throughout the bo endorphins also fire up, triggering pressure. Sensations of pain may ea the smiler and the “smilee” usually fe We shall ne all the good smile ca —­MOT HE R 40

ess Hack ody. Dopamine, serotonin, and relaxation and lowering blood ase, thanks to endorphins. Both feel a mood boost. ever know d a simple an do. TERESA

Building Friendly eye contact works e our pupils are surrounded by opening makes sure the white propose that our more-open eye cooperate with. Most primate b the grown-­up primates they’re l something different: they watch In fact, a Purdue University short glances between stranger that wasn’t experienced when their research, people who didn settings, reported feeling ignore

Connections even better. Human eyes are unique: y white, and the shape of our eye e is visible. Why? Anthropologists es helped us know who to trust and babies watch the head direction of learning from. But human babies do h eyes. study found that eye contact, even rs, sparked a feeling of connection subjects looked the other way. In n’t receive eye contact, even in casual ed and unseen, a feeling that hurt. 41

The only reas open our hear to other peop trigger confus we don’t feel b or sane enough To the degree clearly and com at ourselve confident an about loo someone e —PEMA C BUDDHIST N

son we don’t rts and minds ple is that they sion in us that brave enough h to deal with. e that we look mpassionately es, we feel nd fearless oking into else’s eyes. HÖDRÖN, UN, AUTHOR

Building Think about that chain re shop line. Connection as a S Neuroscientist and social p dedicated his career to underst the brain and body. “The abs the same primal alarm bells as he explains. “Loneliness puts mode… The visual cortex bec responsible for empathy becom In self-p­ reservation mode, h elusive. We lock into default p the Watcher or the functions of threat and physical threat in flight response, which reduces b through the adrenal system, to

Connections eaction as you look to that coffee Survival Mechanism psychologist John Cacioppo has tanding loneliness and its effect on sence of social connection triggers s hunger, thirst, and physical pain,” your brain into self-p­reservation comes more active while the area mes less active.” higher-­level thinking becomes more patterns, making it harder to access f the PFC. The brain handles social similar ways, firing the fight-­or-­ blood supply to the PFC and even, our vital organs. 43

There is a wo Africa—­­Ubun that capture greatest gift: h that we are together in are invisible that there is humanity; tha ourselves b ourselves wit caring for tho —­P R E SI D E NT BA SPEAKING AT T SERVICE FOR NE

ord in South ntu—­a word es Mandela’s his recognition e all bound n ways that e to the eye; a oneness to at we achieve by sharing h others, and ose around us. ARACK OBAMA, THE MEMORIAL ELSON MANDELA

Building We feel it. When we feel shu grows. The brain locks in to sub searching for what has worked b drink or chomp a bite of somet diminished, even confused. As we grab the drink and gr predictable reward system of ou Dr. Cacioppo’s work shows th obesity in some age groups. So percent increase in mortality ra groups. As we continue to dir than to people, our brains adap new normal. But this normal i leave us feeling lost, out of sorts Timeless Wisdom “I see you” is a traditional greet cultures. Sometimes another completes the greeting, creatin can almost feel the mirror neuro These respectful, socially c custom as a declaration of good core to human happiness: our “I see you” hints at the African that  “A person is a person throu Our brains would agree.

Connections unned in a social setting, our caution bconscious or unconscious patterns, before. Maybe we reach for another thing we don’t really want. We feel rease-b­ urger and head for the more ur apps, email, or TV, we pay a price. hat loneliness is even riskier than ocial isolation is correlated to a 20 ates relative to “not lonely” research rect our attention to things rather pt and rewire, making this shift the isn’t leading us to happiness. It can s, and alone. m ting used in some southern African phrase, “I am here to be seen,” ng a circle of acknowledgment. You rons firing. connecting words likely rose into d intent. But they signal something r need to connect with each other. n concept of Ubuntu, which tells us ugh other people.” 45

The Happine How often do we feel ignored? each day whom we never notice or a if we’re tuned to our cell phones? Do tap “like” on a social post? When digital transactions serve tions, we feel invisible and excluded kick in. Fortunately, there’s another pa brain’s reward chemicals and wire n Neuroplasticity—­the brain’s ability new neural connections—g­ ives us we’ve unintentionally lost and build out of automatic mode. It takes inte Yet as the brain fires, so it wires. to start doing more of whatever it is if that means reconnecting with peo Here are some ways to get starte Disconnect to Reco If feeling more connected sounds steps. LOOK UP FROM THE TECH Choose one real-w­ orld thing you’d screen-b­ ased thing you’d like to d down, and put them somewhere vis day. Celebrate your progress, and st Building or breaking habits tak 46

ess Hack How many people do we pass acknowledge? How many more o we really “see” others when we e as proxy for real-l­ife interac- d. A deeper sort of FOMO can ath, one that helps fire our new maps to happier patterns. y to update itself by mapping the power to reclaim pathways d new ones. But we have to get ention—­and practice. Which gives you a good reason you really want to do, especially ople. ed. onnect good to you, try these simple H ’d like to do more of and one do less of. Jot your intentions sible, where you see them every tart again if you lapse. kes work. But learning, it turns

Building out, activates parts of your brain being and mastery. What’s mo or actions often take place in brain that help us build willpow mindfully navigate what’s going The best place to meet peop START SMALL The brain maps familiar though efficiency. For better or worse, t do things the way we have in t assumptions: they become auto and repetition. So even small ch To reduce resistance, work patterns with familiar actions. actions on existing maps. Slip y walk toward the coffee shop. Re before you place your order. Wa Want positive reinforcemen neurons fire when that barista sm maps and prime itself for smilin Smile…it m wonder wha —­U NK

Connections n that contribute to feelings of well-­ ore, integration of new information the PFC, revving up parts of the wer, make satisfying decisions, and g on around us. ple? Easy: anywhere your TV is not. hts and actions with ever-­increasing these maps make it easy to see and the past. We become blind to these omatic. Changing them takes work hanges can start out slowly. k with your brain. Associate new . This helps your brain build new your phone into your pocket as you emind yourself to say good morning atch what happens. nt? Try smiling. As your mirror miles back, your brain will update its ng more, with increasingly less effort. makes people at you’re up to. KNOWN 47

The Happine VOLUNTEER Every community, every destinatio needs more help than they are get Who or what do you want to sup something that makes a differenc ence a brain-n­ ourishing (and hear And it’s a great way to connect wi kindred spirits—and the deep satis a shared goal. Be a rain someone els —­MAYA A N G E LO AND PRESID INAUGURA RETHINK SOLITUDE “Loneliness,” said theologian Paul being alone, and solitude expresses Sometimes what seems to be lon of disconnection from purpose. Yes connection. But we also desire an making a difference in the world: th 48

ess Hack on, every affinity group likely tting. What do you believe in? pport? Getting hands-on with ce is a surefire way to experi- rt-f­illing) form of satisfaction. ith others. You’re likely to find sfaction of contributing toward nbow in se’s cloud. OU, AUTHOR DENTIAL AL POET Tillich, “expresses the pain of the glory.” neliness can actually be a sense s, we all need and deserve social nd deserve a feeling that we’re hat our contributions matter.

Building You matter. As do your con Yet our sense of purpose can get reality, with its unending to-­do We come home feeling worn crave the low-­resistance stuff. B into happiness. The typical trig games, TV series, or even our in can increase our sense of stres feel those, we’re less open to soc stay in, which weakens the map up again. How can we reverse the cyc fying time? Self-­care is one place to begi of you are a surefire way to f well for yourself, even once a salutation…each small step can of glory. Since the brain wires w that helps point you toward the Since we know dopamine cu rewards, we can use that knowl your homeward commute is us out, visualize yourself drawing that new guitar chord instead. I your brain prime itself for you Consider this: competitive ath they train and prepare to comp you deserve it too.

Connections ntributions, whatever they may be. t sucked into the vortex of everyday lists, commutes, and pressures. n and depleted. Understandably, we But too much vegging out can eat ggers and rewards of apps or video nboxes activate brain chemicals that ss, isolation, and threat. When we cial engagement. We shut down and ps that show us how to open back cle and turn alone time into satis- in. Even small things that take care find strength in solitude. Cooking a week, or perfecting a yoga sun n help you and your body find a bit what it fires, you’ll also get a boost e next healthy step. ues motivation and progress toward ledge to boost our healthy drives. If sually filled with dreams of vegging g in your sketchbook or practicing Invite the Watcher to help, helping ur desired activity. Not convinced? hletes use similar brain exercises as pete. If it’s good enough for them, 49

The Happine BE PATIENT Somewhere inside, we know connec way, feelings of loneliness or isolatio want something other than what w of loneliness can actually make us m feel threatened, it’s true: we tend to That’s how our brains work, for a Yet we’re conditioned to blame ou with us. Sadly, the more we think th lock the loneliness in. Sometimes even our best attemp may be friendlier in the outside w with new people, but the “tribe find That can be hard. But try to rem encing the stress and distraction o 50

ess Hack ctions are key to happiness. In a on are like a signal telling us we we have. Yet, ironically, feelings more self-­protective. When we o shut down. all sorts of complicated reasons. urselves, to think it’s a problem his, the more our responses can pts don’t go as we planned. We world or make efforts to mingle ding” doesn’t go as we’d hoped. member that everyone’s experi- of everyday life. Even with the

Building help of mirror neurons, some p to friendly overtures. If this happens, look at it as r you get a negative response, let your PFC to sense that somethi is a core strength of the PFC, resilient you get). Maybe wish day, even if you only wish it fro helping them. You’ll definitely b But one thing is clear. Turni turning us away from more sat brains to expect more predictab tions than real life in all its non impatient and intolerant when w authentically, which in turn fue If we want change, we need t mastering the things that keep us all-t­ oo-a­ vailable distractions or de other. There’s an easy way to tur The Harvard H LESSONS ACROSS LIFETIMES P Friendship is born one person says to too? I thought I — C­ . S . L E

Connections people may not be ready to respond resistance training for your brain. If t it go. Don’t mirror their lead. Use ing must be hard for them (empathy and the more you use it, the more them, sincerely, an especially good om afar. Who knows? You may be be helping yourself. ing to our tech is doing more than tisfying connections. It’s wiring our ble, linear, cause-­and-e­ ffect transac- nlinear joy. This can leave us feeling we interact with others and interact els the cycles of loneliness. to master ourselves. That starts with from connecting, whether they’re our efault habits that separate us from each rn the tide. It starts when we unplug. Happiness Study POINT TO ONE CONSISTENT THEME at that moment when o another: “What! You I was the only one.” EWIS, WRITER 51

The Happine Way back in 1938, when a group of r for a good life?” they didn’t know w were willing to wait a long time for people for more than seventy-f­ive thing we all can learn from. The lives and fates of these 724 were as individual as they were. Som in rural. Their professions, financial varied widely. Some weathered fa medical challenges. Some succeed not. One (John F. Kennedy) became And some became happier than views and checkpoints that tracked the most happiness credited one sim Connection. Those who looked back on their tion were those who felt most conn “People who are more socially or community are happier, physica than others,” the study revealed. “ than they want to be find they are functioning decline sooner. They who feel connected.” If the pull of distractions and de family or social circles, or even mak withdraw from checking in with a are we fueling scenarios that reduce Harvard study emphasized the impa not things like simple hellos or greet 52

ess Hack researchers asked “What makes what they would learn. But they r an answer. After watching 724 years, they found one—s­ome- people, all Harvard graduates, me lived in urban settings, some l success, activities, and health ailure and loss. Some battled ded in their careers; some did e a president. others. Across the many inter- d these lives, those that found mple thing. lives with the greatest satisfac- nected to people they loved. connected to family, friends, ally healthier, and longer-l­ived “People who are more isolated e less happy. Health and brain live shorter lives than people evices is disconnecting us from king it only a little bit easier to friend or greeting a neighbor, e our happiness? In fairness, the act of deep, close relationships, tings to people we barely know.

Building But even casual exchanges sp Kindness or helpful acts may se but they also help us. Opening a dropped glove—­even smilin the chemical responses that lea Better yet is when we share o us or engage in real conversatio Even small steps toward truly healthier brain activity, and (sin for us to take more little steps our sense of connection. Think of one person in you connect with: to get to know for. Surprise them: write them them about something that m about something they enjoy, a them something nice you reme something to do together that You’ll not only be building y brain—a­nd theirs too—w­ hile c scenery on your lifelong path to

Connections park healthy activity in our brains. eem like things we do for others—­ a door for a stranger or picking up ng in the coffee line—­can activate ave us feeling uplifted and balanced. our attention with people close to on with others in our social circles. seeing those around us can boost nce what fires, wires) make it easier s, and then bigger ones, that build ur world you’ve been meaning to w better or to actually make time m a note, find time to talk, or tell made you think of them. Ask them and find out why they like it. Tell ember about them. Better yet, find you’ll both remember. your bond. You’ll be improving your creating moments that add to the o happiness. 53

Unpluggi We use our gadgets fo tainment. We use the giving the impressio working hard. —­M EGH AN D

ing or distraction and enter- em to avoid work while on that we’re actually DAUM, AUTHOR, COLUMNIST

D ata confirms w this tech we’re using isn it’s advertised to prom Economic Forum study: Digital media users online than they sle believe it impro Five out of six t weren’t sure digit a positive effe Participants' soc consumed an average of total daily o That same study confirme shifted downward as people spe ability to addictive behavior, an correlated to increases in screen

wh at we have all noticed: all n’t delivering the ease and happiness mise. According to a global World often spend more hours eep, yet only 50 percent oves quality of life. tech users said they ital consumption had ect on their lives. cial media use alone e of 1.8 hours (30 percent online time) per day. ed that social skills and empathy ent more time online. Stress, vulner- nd a decline in physical activity also n time. 55

The Happine Facts from Digital Detox, a com people use tech more mindfully, dri The average America percent of leisure t Highly active Inte 2.5 times more lik depression than a 33 percent of peo hiding from famil to check soci 95 percent of people electronics in the hour Unplugging from te day can give some pe physical withdraw 56