The Miserable Mill (A Series of Unfortunate Events, Book 4)_clone

THE MISERABLE MILL “Oh, all right,” Sir said grumpily. “But re- member, this is my last word on the matter. Charles, make me a milkshake. I’m very thirsty.” “Yes, Sir,” Charles said, and limped after his partner and Mr. Poe, who were already out of the library. Halfway out the door, however, he stopped and smiled apologetic- ally at the Baudelaires. “I’m sorry,” he said to them. “I’m sorry that I won’t be seeing you anymore. But I guess Sir knows best.” “We’re sorry too, Charles,” Klaus said. “And I’m sorry that I caused you so much trouble.” “It wasn’t your fault,” Charles said kindly, as Phil limped up behind him. “What happened?” Phil asked. “I heard breaking glass.” “Count Olaf got away,” Violet said, and her heart sank as she realized it was really true. “Shirley was really Count Olaf in dis- guise, and he got away, just like he always does.” 191

A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS “Well, if you look on the bright side, you’re really quite lucky,” Phil said, and the orphans gave their optimistic friend a curious look and then looked curiously at one another. Once they had been happy children, so con- tent and pleased with their life that they hadn’t even known how happy they were. Then came the terrible fire, and it seemed since then that their lives had scarcely had one bright moment, let alone an entire bright side. From home to home they traveled, en- countering misery and wretchedness wherever they went, and now the man who had caused such wretchedness had escaped once more. They certainly didn’t feel very lucky. “What do you mean?” Klaus asked quietly. “Well, let me think,” Phil said, and thought for a moment. In the background, the orphans could hear the dim sounds of Mr. Poe describing Count Olaf to somebody on the telephone. “You’re alive,” Phil said fi- nally. “That’s lucky. And I’m sure we can think of something else.” 192

THE MISERABLE MILL The three Baudelaire children looked at one another and then at Charles and Phil, the only people in Paltryville who had been kind to them. Although they would not miss the dormitory, or the terrible casseroles, or the back-breaking labor of the mill, the orphans would miss these two kind people. And as the siblings thought about whom they would miss, they thought how much they would have missed one another, if something even worse had happened to them. What if Sunny had lost the swordfight? What if Klaus had remained hypnotized forever? What if Violet had stepped into the path of the saw, instead of Dr. Orwell? The Baudelaires looked at the sunlight, pouring through the shattered window where Count Olaf had escaped, and shuddered to think of what could have happened. Being alive had never seemed lucky before, but as the children considered their terrible time in Sir’s care, they were amazed at how many lucky things had actu- ally happened to them. 193

A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS “It was lucky,” Violet admitted quietly, “that Klaus invented something so quickly, even though he’s not an inventor.” “It was lucky,” Klaus admitted quietly, “that Violet figured out how to end my hyp- nosis, even though she’s not a researcher.” “Croif,” Sunny admitted quietly, which meant something like “It was lucky that I could defend us from Dr. Orwell’s sword, if I do say so myself.” The children sighed, and gave each other small, hopeful smiles. Count Olaf was on the loose, and would try again to snatch their fortune, but he had not succeeded this time. They were alive, and as they stood together at the broken window, it seemed that the last word on their situation might be “lucky,” the word that had caused so much trouble to begin with. The Baudelaire orphans were alive, and it seemed that maybe they had an inordinate amount of luck after all. 194



ABOUT THE AUTHOR AND ILLUSTRATOR © Meredith Heuer LEMONY SNICKET grew up near the sea and currently lives beneath it. To his horror and dismay he has no wife or children, only enemies, associates, and the occasional loyal manservant. His trial has been delayed, so he is free to continue researching and writing

the tragic tales of the Baudelaire orphans for HarperCollins. Visit him on the Web at www. harperchildrens. com/lsnicket/ or E-mail to lsnicket@harper- collins.com BRETT HELQUIST was born in Ganado, Arizona, grew up in Orem, Utah, and now lives in New York City. He earned a bachel- or’s degree in fine arts from Brigham Young University and has been illustrating ever since. His art has appeared in many publica-

tions, including Cricket magazine and The New York Times. “Don’t miss the next book by your favorite author. Sign up now for AuthorTracker by visiting www.AuthorTracker.com.”

To My Kind Editor, Please excuse the torn edges of this note. I am writing to you from inside the shack the Baudelaire orphans were forced to live in while at Prufrock Preparatory School, and I am afraid that some of the crabs tried to snatch my stationery away from me. On Sunday night, please purchase a ticket for seat 10-J at the Erratic Opera Company’s performance of the opera Faute de Mieux. During Act Five, use a sharp knife to rip open the cushion of your seat. There you should find my description of the children’s miser- able half-semester at boarding school, entitled THE AUSTERE ACADEMY, as well as a cafeteria tray, some of the Baudelaires’ handmade staples, and the (worthless) jewel from Coach Genghis’s turban. There is also the negative for a photograph of the two Quagmire Triplets, which Mr. Helquist can have developed to help with his illustrations. Remember, you are my last hope that the

tales of the Baudelaire orphans can finally be told to the general public. With all due respect, Lemony Snicket

A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS THE BAD BEGINNING THE REPTILE ROOM THE WIDE WINDOW THE MISERABLE MILL THE AUSTERE ACADEMY THE ERSATZ ELEVATOR THE VILE VILLAGE THE HOSTILE HOSPITAL THE CARNIVOROUS CARNIVAL THE SLIPPERY SLOPE THE GRIM GROTTO THE PENULTIMATE PERIL

Credits Cover art © 2000 Brett Helquist Cover design by Alison Donalty Cover © 2000 by HarperCollins Publishers Inc.

Copyright THE MISERABLE MILL Text copyright © 2000 by Lemony Snicket Illustrations copyright © 2000 by Brett Helquist. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. Printed in the United States of America. For information address HarperCollins Chil- dren’s Books, a division of HarperCollins Publishers, 1350 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10019. Adobe Acrobat eBook Reader August 2007 ISBN 978-0-06-155036-2 Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Snicket, Lemony. The Miserable Mill/ by Lemony Snicket ; illustrations by Brett Helquist. p. cm. — (A series of unfortunate events ; bk. 4) ISBN 0-06-440769-1 — ISBN 0-06-028888-4 (lib. bdg.) 9 10 8

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