["Apples My\tbirthday\tis\tOctober\t10.\tI\tlike\tmy\tbirthday:\t10\/10.\tIt\twould\u2019ve\tbeen\tgreat\tif\tI\u2019d\tbeen\tborn\tat exactly\t10:10\tin\tthe\tmorning\tor\tat\tnight,\tbut\tI\twasn\u2019t.\tI\twas\tborn\tjust\tafter\tmidnight.\tBut\tI\tstill think\tmy\tbirthday\tis\tcool. I\t usually\t have\t a\t little\t party\t at\t home,\t but\t this\t year\t I\t asked\t Mom\t if\t I\t could\t have\t a\t big\t bowling party.\tMom\twas\tsurprised\tbut\thappy.\tShe\tasked\tme\twho\tI\twanted\tto\task\tfrom\tmy\tclass,\tand\tI said\teveryone\tin\tmy\thomeroom\tplus\tSummer. \u201cThat\u2019s\ta\tlot\tof\tkids,\tAuggie,\u201d\tsaid\tMom. \u201cI\t have\t to\t invite\t everyone\t because\t I\t don\u2019t\t want\t anyone\t to\t get\t their\t feelings\t hurt\t if\t they\t find out\tother\tpeople\tare\tinvited\tand\tthey\taren\u2019t,\tokay?\u201d \u201cOkay,\u201d\tMom\tagreed.\t\u201cYou\teven\twant\tto\tinvite\tthe\t\u2018what\u2019s\tthe\tdeal\u2019\tkid?\u201d \u201cYeah,\tyou\tcan\tinvite\tJulian,\u201d\tI\tanswered.\t\u201cGeez,\tMom,\tyou\tshould\tforget\tabout\tthat\talready.\u201d \u201cI\tknow,\tyou\u2019re\tright.\u201d A\t couple\t of\t weeks\t later,\t I\t asked\t Mom\t who\t was\t coming\t to\t my\t party,\t and\t she\t said:\t \u201cJack\t Will, Summer.\tReid\tKingsley.\tBoth\tMaxes.\tAnd\ta\tcouple\tof\tother\tkids\tsaid\tthey\twere\tgoing\tto\ttry\tto be\tthere.\u201d \u201cLike\twho?\u201d \u201cCharlotte\u2019s\t mom\t said\t Charlotte\t had\t a\t dance\t recital\t earlier\t in\t the\t day,\t but\t she\t was\t going\t to try\t to\t come\t to\t your\t party\t if\t time\t allowed.\t And\t Tristan\u2019s\t mom\t said\t he\t might\t come\t after\t his soccer\tgame.\u201d \u201cSo\tthat\u2019s\tit?\u201d\tI\tsaid.\t\u201cThat\u2019s\tlike\t\u2026\tfive\tpeople.\u201d \u201cThat\u2019s\t more\t than\t five\t people,\t Auggie.\t I\t think\t a\t lot\t of\t people\t just\t had\t plans\t already,\u201d\t Mom answered.\tWe\twere\tin\tthe\tkitchen.\tShe\twas\tcutting\tone\tof\tthe\tapples\twe\thad\tjust\tgotten\tat\tthe farmers\u2019\tmarket\tinto\tteensy-weensy\tbites\tso\tI\tcould\teat\tit. \u201cWhat\tkind\tof\tplans?\u201d\tI\tasked. \t \u201cI\tdon\u2019t\tknow,\tAuggie.\tWe\tsent\tout\tthe\tevites\tkind\tof\tlate.\u201d \u201cLike\twhat\tdid\tthey\ttell\tyou,\tthough?\tWhat\treasons\tdid\tthey\tgive?\u201d \u201cEveryone\t gave\t different\t reasons,\t Auggie.\u201d\t She\t sounded\t a\t bit\t impatient.\t \u201cReally,\t sweetie,\t it shouldn\u2019t\tmatter\twhat\ttheir\treasons\twere.\tPeople\thad\tplans,\tthat\u2019s\tall.\u201d \u201cWhat\tdid\tJulian\tgive\tas\this\treason?\u201d\tI\tasked. \u201cYou\tknow,\u201d\tsaid\tMom,\t\u201chis\tmom\twas\tthe\tonly\tperson\twho\tdidn\u2019t\tRSVP\tat\tall.\u201d\tShe\tlooked\tat me.\t\u201cI\tguess\tthe\tapple\tdoesn\u2019t\tfall\tfar\tfrom\tthe\ttree.\u201d I\tlaughed\tbecause\tI\tthought\tshe\twas\tmaking\ta\tjoke,\tbut\tthen\tI\trealized\tshe\twasn\u2019t. \u201cWhat\tdoes\tthat\tmean?\u201d\tI\tasked. \u201cNever\tmind.\tNow\tgo\twash\tyour\thands\tso\tyou\tcan\teat.\u201d My\t birthday\t party\t turned\t out\t to\t be\t much\t smaller\t than\t I\t thought\t it\t would\t be,\t but\t it\t was\t still great.\tJack,\tSummer,\tReid,\tTristan,\tand\tboth\tMaxes\tcame\tfrom\tschool,\tand\tChristopher\tcame, too\u2014all\tthe\tway\t from\tBridgeport\t with\this\tparents.\t And\tUncle\t Ben\tcame.\tAnd\t Aunt\tKate\tand Uncle\t Po\t drove\t in\t from\t Boston,\t though\t Tata\t and\t Poppa\t were\t in\t Florida\t for\t the\t winter.\t It\t was fun\t because\t all\t the\t grown-ups\t ended\t up\t bowling\t in\t the\t lane\t next\t to\t ours,\t so\t it\t really\t felt\t like there\twere\ta\tlot\tof\tpeople\tthere\tto\tcelebrate\t\tmy\tbirthday.","Halloween At\tlunch\tthe\tnext\tday,\tSummer\tasked\tme\twhat\tI\twas\tgoing\tto\tbe\tfor\tHalloween.\tOf\tcourse,\tI\u2019d been\tthinking\tabout\tit\tsince\tlast\tHalloween,\tso\tI\tknew\tright\taway. \u201cBoba\tFett.\u201d \u201cYou\tknow\tyou\tcan\twear\ta\tcostume\tto\tschool\ton\tHalloween,\tright?\u201d \u201cNo\tway,\treally?\u201d \u201cSo\tlong\tas\tit\u2019s\tpolitically\tcorrect.\u201d \u201cWhat,\tlike\tno\tguns\tand\tstuff?\u201d \u201cExactly.\u201d \u201cWhat\tabout\tblasters?\u201d \u201cI\tthink\ta\tblaster\u2019s\tlike\ta\tgun,\tAuggie.\u201d \u201cOh\tman\t\u2026,\u201d\tI\tsaid,\tshaking\tmy\thead.\tBoba\tFett\thas\ta\tblaster. \u201cAt\tleast,\twe\tdon\u2019t\thave\tto\tcome\tlike\ta\tcharacter\tin\ta\tbook\tanymore.\tIn\tthe\tlower\tschool\tthat\u2019s what\tyou\thad\tto\tdo.\tLast\tyear\tI\twas\tthe\tWicked\tWitch\tof\tthe\tWest\tfrom\tThe\tWizard\tof\tOz.\u201d \u201cBut\tthat\u2019s\ta\tmovie,\tnot\ta\tbook.\u201d \u201cHello?\u201d\t Summer\t answered.\t \u201cIt\t was\t a\t book\t first!\t One\t of\t my\t favorite\t books\t in\t the\t world, actually.\tMy\tdad\tused\tto\tread\tit\tto\tme\tevery\tnight\tin\tthe\tfirst\tgrade.\u201d When\tSummer\ttalks,\tespecially\twhen\tshe\u2019s\texcited\tabout\tsomething,\ther\teyes\tsquint\tlike\tshe\u2019s looking\tright\tat\tthe\tsun. I\thardly\tever\tsee\tSummer\tduring\tthe\tday,\tsince\tthe\tonly\tclass\twe\thave\ttogether\tis\tEnglish.\tBut ever\tsince\tthat\tfirst\tlunch\tat\tschool,\twe\u2019ve\tsat\tat\tthe\tsummer\ttable\ttogether\tevery\tday,\tjust\tthe two\tof\tus. \u201cSo,\twhat\tare\tyou\tgoing\tto\tbe?\u201d\tI\tasked\ther. \u201cI\tdon\u2019t\tknow\tyet.\tI\tknow\twhat\tI\u2019d\treally\twant\tto\tgo\tas,\tbut\tI\tthink\tit\tmight\tbe\ttoo\tdorky.\tYou know,\t Savanna\u2019s\t group\t isn\u2019t\t even\t wearing\t costumes\t this\t year.\t They\t think\t we\u2019re\t too\t old\t for Halloween.\u201d \u201cWhat?\tThat\u2019s\tjust\tdumb.\u201d \u201cI\tknow,\tright?\u201d \u201cI\tthought\tyou\tdidn\u2019t\tcare\twhat\tthose\tgirls\tthink.\u201d She\tshrugged\tand\ttook\ta\tlong\tdrink\tof\ther\tmilk. \u201cSo,\twhat\tdorky\tthing\tdo\tyou\twant\tto\tdress\tup\tas?\u201d\tI\tasked\ther,\tsmiling. \u201cPromise\t not\t to\t laugh?\u201d\t She\t raised\t her\t eyebrows\t and\t her\t shoulders,\t embarrassed.\t \u201cA unicorn.\u201d I\tsmiled\tand\tlooked\tdown\tat\tmy\tsandwich. \u201cHey,\tyou\tpromised\tnot\tto\tlaugh!\u201d\tshe\tlaughed. \u201cOkay,\tokay,\u201d\tI\tsaid.\t\u201cBut\tyou\u2019re\tright:\tthat\tis\ttoo\tdorky.\u201d \u201cI\tknow!\u201d\tshe\tsaid.\t\u201cBut\tI\thave\tit\tall\tplanned\tout:\tI\u2019d\tmake\tthe\thead\tout\tof\tpapier-m\u00e2ch\u00e9,\tand paint\tthe\thorn\tgold\tand\tmake\tthe\tmane\tgold,\ttoo.\u2026\tIt\twould\tbe\tso\tawesome.\u201d","\u201cOkay.\u201d\tI\tshrugged.\t\u201cThen\tyou\tshould\tdo\tit.\tWho\tcares\twhat\tother\tpeople\tthink,\tright?\u201d \u201cMaybe\twhat\tI\u2019ll\tdo\tis\tjust\twear\tit\tfor\tthe\tHalloween\tParade,\u201d\tshe\tsaid,\tsnapping\ther\tfingers. \u201cAnd\tI\u2019ll\tjust\tbe,\tlike,\ta\tGoth\tgirl\tfor\tschool.\tYeah,\tthat\u2019s\tit,\tthat\u2019s\twhat\tI\u2019ll\tdo.\u201d \u201cSounds\tlike\ta\tplan.\u201d\tI\tnodded. \u201cThanks,\t Auggie,\u201d\t she\t giggled.\t \u201cYou\t know,\t that\u2019s\t what\t I\t like\t best\t about\t you.\t I\t feel\t like\t I\t can tell\tyou\tanyth\ting.\u201d \u201cYeah?\u201d\tI\tanswered,\tnodding.\tI\tgave\ther\ta\tthumbs-up\tsign.\t\u201cCool\tbeans.\u201d","School\tPictures I\tdon\u2019t\tthink\tanyone\twill\tbe\tshocked\tto\tlearn\tI\tdon\u2019t\twant\tto\thave\tmy\tschool\tpicture\ttaken\ton October\t22.\tNo\tway.\tNo\tthank\tyou.\tI\tstopped\tletting\tanyone\ttake\tpictures\tof\tme\ta\twhile\tago.\tI guess\t you\t could\t call\t it\t a\t phobia.\t No,\t actually,\t it\u2019s\t not\t a\t phobia.\t It\u2019s\t an\t \u201caversion,\u201d\t which\t is\t a word\t I\t just\t learned\t in\t Mr.\t Browne\u2019s\t class.\t I\t have\t an\t aversion\t to\t having\t my\t picture\t taken. There,\tI\tused\tit\tin\ta\tsentence. I\tthought\tMom\twould\ttry\tto\tget\tme\tto\tdrop\tmy\taversion\tto\thaving\tmy\tpicture\ttaken\tfor\tschool, but\t she\t didn\u2019t.\t Unfortunately,\t while\t I\t managed\t to\t avoid\t having\t the\t portrait\t taken,\t I\t couldn\u2019t get\tout\tof\tbeing\tpart\tof\tthe\tclass\tpicture.\tUgh.\tThe\tphotographer\tlooked\tlike\the\u2019d\tjust\tsucked on\ta\tlemon\twhen\the\tsaw\tme.\tI\u2019m\tsure\the\tthought\tI\truined\tthe\tpicture.\tI\twas\tone\tof\tthe\tones\tin the\tfront,\tsitting\tdown.\tI\tdidn\u2019t\tsmile,\tnot\tthat\tanyone\tcould\ttell\tif\tI\thad.","The\tCheese\tTouch I\t noticed\t not\t too\t long\t ago\t that\t even\t though\t people\t were\t getting\t used\t to\t me,\t no\t one\t would actually\t touch\t me.\t I\t didn\u2019t\t realize\t this\t at\t first\t because\t it\u2019s\t not\t like\t kids\t go\t around\t touching each\t other\t that\t much\t in\t middle\t school\t anyway.\t But\t last\t Thursday\t in\t dance\t class,\t which\t is, like,\t my\t least\t favorite\t class,\t Mrs.\t Atanabi,\t the\t teacher,\t tried\t to\t make\t Ximena\t Chin\t be\t my dance\tpartner.\tNow,\tI\u2019ve\tnever\tactually\tseen\tsomeone\thave\ta\t\u201cpanic\tattack\u201d\tbefore,\tbut\tI\thave heard\t about\t it,\t and\t I\u2019m\t pretty\t sure\t Ximena\t had\t a\t panic\t attack\t at\t that\t second.\t She\t got\t really nervous\tand\tturned\tpale\tand\tliterally\tbroke\tinto\ta\tsweat\twithin\ta\tminute,\tand\tthen\tshe\tcame up\twith\tsome\tlame\texcuse\tabout\treally\thaving\tto\tgo\tto\tthe\tbathroom.\tAnyway,\tMrs.\tAtanabi\tlet her\toff\tthe\thook,\tbecause\tshe\tended\tup\tnot\tmaking\tanyone\tdance\ttogether. Then\tyesterday\tin\tmy\tscience\telective,\twe\twere\tdoing\tthis\tcool\tmystery-powder\tinvestigation where\twe\thad\tto\tclassify\ta\tsubstance\tas\tan\tacid\tor\ta\tbase.\tEveryone\thad\tto\theat\ttheir\tmystery powders\t on\t a\t heating\t plate\t and\t make\t observations,\t so\t we\t were\t all\t huddled\t around\t the powders\t with\t our\t notebooks.\t Now,\t there\t are\t eight\t kids\t in\t the\t elective,\t and\t seven\t of\t them were\tsquished\ttogether\ton\tone\tside\tof\tthe\tplate\twhile\tone\tof\tthem\u2014me\u2014had\tloads\tof\troom\ton the\t other\t side.\t So\t of\t course\t I\t noticed\t this,\t but\t I\t was\t hoping\t Ms.\t Rubin\t wouldn\u2019t\t notice\t this, because\t I\t didn\u2019t\t want\t her\t to\t say\t something.\t But\t of\t course\t she\t did\t notice\t this,\t and\t of\t course she\tsaid\tsomething. \u201cGuys,\t there\u2019s\t plenty\t of\t room\t on\t that\t side.\t Tristan,\t Nino,\t go\t over\t there,\u201d\t she\t said,\t so\t Tristan and\tNino\tscooted\tover\tto\tmy\tside.\tTristan\tand\tNino\thave\talways\tbeen\tokay-nice\tto\tme.\tI\twant to\tgo\ton\trecord\tas\tsaying\tthat.\tNot\tsuper-nice,\tlike\tthey\tgo\tout\tof\ttheir\tway\tto\thang\tout\twith me,\t but\t okay-nice,\t like\t they\t say\t hello\t to\t me\t and\t talk\t to\t me\t like\t normal.\t And\t they\t didn\u2019t\t even make\ta\tface\twhen\tMs.\tRubin\ttold\tthem\tto\tcome\ton\tmy\tside,\twhich\ta\tlot\tof\tkids\tdo\twhen\tthey think\t I\u2019m\t not\t looking.\t Anyway,\t everything\t was\t going\t fine\t until\t Tristan\u2019s\t mystery\t powder started\tmelting.\tHe\tmoved\this\tfoil\toff\tthe\tplate\tjust\tas\tmy\tpowder\tbegan\tto\tmelt,\ttoo,\twhich\tis why\tI\twent\tto\tmove\tmine\toff\tthe\tplate,\tand\tthen\tmy\thand\taccidentally\tbumped\this\thand\tfor\ta fraction\tof\ta\tsecond.\tTristan\tjerked\this\thand\taway\tso\tfast\the\tdropped\this\tfoil\ton\tthe\tfloor\twhile also\tknocking\teveryone\telse\u2019s\tfoil\toff\tthe\theating\tplate. \u201cTristan!\u201d\tyelled\tMs.\tRubin,\tbut\tTristan\tdidn\u2019t\teven\tcare\tabout\tthe\tspilled\tpowder\ton\tthe\tfloor or\t that\t he\t ruined\t the\t experiment.\t What\t he\t was\t most\t concerned\t about\t was\t getting\t to\t the\t lab sink\t to\t wash\t his\t hands\t as\t fast\t as\t possible.\t That\u2019s\t when\t I\t knew\t for\t sure\t that\t there\t was\t this thing\tabout\ttouching\tme\tat\tBeecher\tPrep. I\t think\t it\u2019s\t like\t the\t Cheese\t Touch\t in\t Diary\t of\t a\t Wimpy\t Kid.\t The\t kids\t in\t that\t story\t were\t afraid they\u2019d\t ca\t tch\t the\t cooties\t if\t they\t touched\t the\t old\t moldy\t cheese\t on\t the\t basketball\t court.\t At Beecher\tPrep,\tI\u2019m\tthe\told\tmoldy\tcheese.","Costumes For\tme,\tHalloween\tis\tthe\tbest\tholiday\tin\tthe\tworld.\tIt\teven\tbeats\tChristmas.\tI\tget\tto\tdress\tup in\t a\t costume.\t I\t get\t to\t wear\t a\t mask.\t I\t get\t to\t go\t around\t like\t every\t other\t kid\t with\t a\t mask\t and nobody\t thinks\t I\t look\t weird.\t Nobody\t takes\t a\t second\t look.\t Nobody\t notices\t me.\t Nobody\t knows me. I\t wish\t every\t day\t could\t be\t Halloween.\t We\t could\t all\t wear\t masks\t all\t the\t time.\t Then\t we\t could walk\t around\t and\t get\t to\t know\t each\t other\t before\t we\t got\t to\t see\t what\t we\t looked\t like\t under\t the masks. When\t I\t was\t little,\t I\t used\t to\t wear\t an\t astronaut\t helmet\t everywhere\t I\t went.\t To\t the\t playground. To\tthe\tsupermarket.\tTo\tpick\tVia\tup\tfrom\tschool.\tEven\tin\tthe\tmiddle\tof\tsummer,\tthough\tit\twas so\thot\tmy\tface\twould\tsweat.\tI\tthink\tI\twore\tit\tfor\ta\tcouple\tof\tyears,\tbut\tI\th\tad\tto\tstop\twearing\tit when\t I\t had\t my\t eye\t surgery.\t I\t was\t about\t seven,\t I\t think.\t And\t then\t we\t couldn\u2019t\t find\t the\t helmet after\t that.\t Mom\t looked\t everywhere\t for\t it.\t She\t figured\t that\t it\t had\t probably\t ended\t up\t in Grans\u2019s\t attic,\t and\t she\t kept\t meaning\t to\t look\t for\t it,\t but\t by\t then\t I\t had\t gotten\t used\t to\t not wearing\tit. I\thave\tpictures\tof\tme\tin\tall\tmy\tHalloween\tcostumes.\tMy\tfirst\tHalloween\tI\twas\ta\tpumpkin.\tMy second\t I\t was\t Tigger.\t My\t third\t I\t was\t Peter\t Pan\t (my\t dad\t dressed\t up\t as\t Captain\t Hook).\t My fourth\tI\twas\tCaptain\tHook\t(my\tdad\tdressed\tup\tas\tPeter\tPan).\tMy\tfifth\tI\twas\tan\tastronaut.\tMy sixth\t I\t was\t Obi-Wan\t Kenobi.\t My\t seventh\t I\t was\t a\t clone\t trooper.\t My\t eighth\t I\t was\t Darth\t Vader. My\t ninth\t I\t was\t the\t Bleeding\t Scream,\t the\t one\t that\t has\t fake\t blood\t oozing\t out\t over\t the\t skull mask. This\t year\t I\u2019m\t going\t to\t be\t Boba\t Fett:\t not\t Boba\t Fett\t the\t kid\t in\t Star\t Wars\t Episode\t II:\t Attack\t of the\tClones,\tbut\tBoba\tFett\tthe\tman\tfrom\tStar\tWars\tEpisode\tV:\tThe\tEmpire\tStrikes\tBack.\tMom searched\t everywhere\t for\t the\t costume\t but\t couldn\u2019t\t find\t one\t in\t my\t size,\t so\t she\t bought\t me\t a Jango\tFett\tcostume\u2014since\tJango\twas\tBoba\u2019s\tdad\tand\twore\tthe\tsame\tarmor\u2014and\tthen\tpainted the\t armor\t green.\t She\t did\t some\t other\t stuff\t to\t it\t to\t make\t it\t look\t worn,\t too.\t Anyway,\t it\t looks totally\treal.\tMom\u2019s\tgood\tat\tcostumes. In\t homeroom\t we\t all\t talked\t about\t what\t we\t were\t going\t to\t be\t for\t Halloween.\t Charlotte\t was going\t as\t Hermione\t from\t Harry\t Potter.\t Jack\t was\t going\t as\t a\t wolfman.\t I\t heard\t that\t Julian\t was going\tas\tJango\tFett,\twhich\twas\ta\tweird\tcoincidence.\tI\tdon\u2019t\tthink\the\tliked\thearing\tthat\tI\twas going\tas\tBoba\tFett. On\tthe\tmorning\tof\tHalloween,\tVia\thad\tthis\tbig\tcrying\tmeltdown\tabout\tsomething.\tVia\u2019s\talways been\tso\tcalm\tand\tcool,\tbut\tthis\tyear\tshe\u2019s\thad\ta\tcouple\tof\tthese\tkinds\tof\tfits.\tDad\twas\tlate\tfor work\tand\twas\tlike,\t\u201cVia,\tlet\u2019s\tgo!\tLet\u2019s\tgo!\u201d\tUsually\tDad\tis\tsuper\tpatient\tabout\tthings,\tbut\tnot when\tit\tcomes\tto\this\tbeing\tlate\tfor\twork,\tand\this\tyelling\tjust\tstressed\tout\tVia\teven\tmore,\tand she\tstarted\tcrying\tlouder,\tso\tMom\ttold\tDad\tto\ttake\tme\tto\tschool\tand\tthat\tshe\u2019d\tdeal\twith\tVia. Then\tMom\tkissed\tme\tgoodbye\tquickly,\tbefore\tI\teven\tput\ton\tmy\tcostume,\tand\tdisappeared\tinto Via\u2019s\troom. \u201cAuggie,\tlet\u2019s\tgo\tnow!\u201d\tsaid\tDad.\t\u201cI\thave\ta\tmeeting\tI\tcan\u2019t\tbe\tlate\tfor!\u201d \u201cI\thaven\u2019t\tput\tmy\tcostume\ton\tyet!\u201d \u201cSo\tput\tit\ton,\talready.\tFive\tminutes.\tI\u2019ll\tmeet\tyou\toutside.\u201d I\trushed\tto\tmy\troom\tand\tstarted\tto\tput\ton\tthe\tBoba\tFett\tcostume,\tbut\tall\tof\ta\tsudden\tI\tdidn\u2019t feel\tlike\twearing\tit.\tI\u2019m\tnot\tsure\twhy\u2014maybe\tbecause\tit\thad\tall\tthese\tbelts\tthat\tneeded\tto\tbe tightened\tand\tI\tneeded\tsomeone\u2019s\thelp\tto\tput\tit\ton.\tOr\tmaybe\tit\twas\tbecause\tit\tstill\tsmelled\ta little\t like\t paint.\t All\t I\t knew\t was\t that\t it\t was\t a\t lot\t of\t work\t to\t put\t the\t costume\t on,\t and\t Dad\t was waiting\t and\t would\t get\t super\t impatient\t if\t I\t made\t him\t late.\t So,\t at\t the\t last\t minute,\t I\t threw\t on the\t Bleeding\t Scream\t costume\t from\t last\t year.\t It\t was\t such\t an\t easy\t costume:\t just\t a\t long\t black robe\tand\ta\t big\twhite\t mask.\tI\tyelled\t goodbye\tfrom\t the\tdoor\ton\t my\tway\t o\tut,\t but\t Mom\t didn\u2019t even\thear\tme. \u201cI\tthought\tyou\twere\tgoing\tas\tJango\tFett,\u201d\tsaid\tDad\twhen\tI\tgot\toutside. \u201cBoba\tFett!\u201d","\u201cWhatever,\u201d\tsaid\tDad.\t\u201cThis\tis\ta\tbetter\tcostume\tanyway.\u201d \u201cYeah,\tit\u2019s\tcool,\u201d\tI\tanswered.","The\tBleeding\tScream Walking\tthrough\tthe\thalls\tthat\tmorning\ton\tmy\tway\tto\tthe\tlockers\twas,\tI\thave\tto\tsay,\tabsolutely awesome.\tEverything\twas\tdifferent\tnow.\tI\twas\tdifferent.\tWhere\tI\tusually\twalked\twith\tmy\thead down,\ttrying\tto\tavoid\tbeing\tseen,\ttoday\tI\twalked\twith\tmy\thead\tup,\tlooking\taround.\tI\twanted\tto be\t seen.\t One\t kid\t wearing\t the\t same\t exact\t costume\t as\t mine,\t long\t white\t skull\t face\t oozing\t fake red\t blood,\t high-fived\t me\t as\t we\t passed\t each\t other\t on\t the\t stairs.\t I\t have\t no\t idea\t who\t he\t was, and\the\thad\tno\tidea\twho\tI\twas,\tand\tI\twondered\tfor\ta\tsecond\tif\the\twould\thave\tever\tdone\tthat\tif he\u2019d\tknown\tit\twas\tme\tunder\tthe\tmask. I\t was\t starting\t to\t think\t this\t was\t going\t to\t go\t down\t as\t one\t of\t the\t most\t awesome\t days\t in\t the history\tof\tmy\tlife,\tbut\tthen\tI\tgot\tto\thomeroom.\tThe\tfirst\tcostume\tI\tsaw\tas\tI\twalked\tinside\tthe door\twas\tDarth\tSidious.\tIt\thad\tone\tof\tthe\trubber\tmasks\tthat\tare\tso\trealistic,\twith\ta\tbig\tblack hood\tover\tthe\thead\tand\ta\tlong\tblack\trobe.\tI\tknew\tright\taway\tit\twas\tJulian,\tof\tcourse.\tHe\tmust have\tchanged\this\tcostume\tat\tthe\tlast\tminute\tbecause\the\tthought\tI\twas\tcoming\tas\tJango\tFett. He\twas\ttalking\tto\ttwo\tmummies\twho\tmust\thave\tbeen\tMiles\tand\tHenry,\tand\tthey\twere\tall\tkind of\tlooking\tat\tthe\tdoor\tlike\tthey\twere\twaiting\tfor\tsomeone\tto\tcome\tthrough\tit.\tI\tknew\tit\twasn\u2019t a\tBleeding\tScream\tthey\twere\tlooking\tfor.\tIt\twas\ta\tBoba\tFett. I\t was\t going\t to\t go\t and\t sit\t at\t my\t usual\t desk,\t but\t for\t some\t reason,\t I\t don\u2019t\t know\t why,\t I\t found myself\twalking\tover\tto\ta\tdesk\tnear\tthem,\tand\tI\tcould\thear\tthem\ttalking. One\tof\tthe\tmummies\twas\tsaying:\t\u201cIt\treally\tdoes\tlook\tlike\thim.\u201d \u201cLike\t this\t part\t especially\t \u2026,\u201d\t answered\t Julian\u2019s\t voice.\t He\t put\t his\t fingers\t on\t the\t cheeks\t and eyes\tof\this\tDarth\tSidious\tmask. \u201cActually,\u201d\t said\t the\t mummy,\t \u201cwhat\t he\t really\t looks\t like\t is\t one\t of\t those\t shrunken\t heads.\t Have you\tever\tseen\tthose?\tHe\tlooks\texactly\tlike\tthat.\u201d \u201cI\tthink\the\tlooks\tlike\tan\torc.\u201d \u201cOh\tyeah!\u201d \u201cIf\t I\t looked\t like\t that,\u201d\t said\t the\t Julian\t voice,\t kind\t of\t laughing,\t \u201cI\t swear\t to\t God,\t I\u2019d\t put\t a\t hood over\tmy\tface\tevery\tday.\u201d \u201cI\u2019ve\t thought\t about\t this\t a\t lot,\u201d\t said\t the\t second\t mummy,\t sounding\t serious,\t \u201cand\t I\t really think\t\u2026\tif\tI\tlooked\tlike\thim,\tseriously,\tI\tthink\tthat\tI\u2019d\tkill\tmyself.\u201d \u201cYou\twould\tnot,\u201d\tanswered\tDarth\tSidious. \u201cYeah,\t for\t real,\u201d\t insisted\t the\t same\t mummy.\t \u201cI\t can\u2019t\t imagine\t looking\t in\t the\t mirror\t every\t day and\tseeing\tmyself\tlike\tthat.\tIt\twould\tbe\ttoo\tawful.\tAnd\tgetting\tstared\tat\tall\tthe\ttime.\u201d \u201cThen\twhy\tdo\tyou\thang\tout\twith\thim\tso\tmuch?\u201d\tasked\tDarth\tSidious. \u201cI\t don\u2019t\t know,\u201d\t answered\t the\t mummy.\t \u201cTushman\t asked\t me\t to\t hang\t out\t with\t him\t at\t the beginning\tof\tthe\tyear,\tand\the\tmust\thave\ttold\tall\tthe\tteachers\tto\tput\tus\tnext\tto\teach\tother\tin\tall our\t classes,\t or\t something.\u201d\t The\t mummy\t shrugged.\t I\t knew\t the\t shrug,\t of\t course.\t I\t knew\t the voice.\t I\t knew\t I\t wanted\t to\t run\t out\t of\t the\t class\t right\t then\t and\t there.\t But\t I\t stood\t where\t I\t was and\tlistened\tto\tJack\tWill\tfinish\twhat\the\twas\tsaying.\t\u201cI\tmean,\tthe\tthing\tis:\the\talways\tfollows\tme around.\tWhat\tam\tI\tsupposed\tto\tdo?\u201d \u201cJust\tditch\thim,\u201d\tsaid\tJulian. I\tdon\u2019t\tknow\twhat\tJack\tanswered\tbecause\tI\twalked\tout\tof\tthe\tclass\twithout\tanyone\tknowing\tI had\t been\t there.\t My\t face\t felt\t like\t it\t was\t on\t fire\t while\t I\t walked\t back\t down\t the\t stairs.\t I\t was sweating\t under\t my\t costume.\t And\t I\t started\t crying.\t I\t couldn\u2019t\t keep\t it\t from\t happening.\t The tears\twere\tso\tthick\tin\tmy\teyes\tI\tcould\tbarely\tsee,\tbut\tI\tcouldn\u2019t\twipe\tthem\tthrough\tthe\tmask as\t I\t walked.\t I\t was\t looking\t for\t a\t little\t tiny\t spot\t to\t disappear\t into.\t I\t wanted\t a\t hole\t I\t could\t fall inside\tof:\ta\tlittle\tblack\thole\tthat\twould\teat\tme\tup.","Names Rat\t boy.\t Freak.\t Monster.\t Freddy\t Krueger.\t E.T.\t Gross-out.\t Lizard\t face.\t Mutant.\t I\t know\t the names\t they\t call\t me.\t I\u2019ve\t been\t in\t enough\t playgrounds\t to\t know\t kids\t can\t be\t mean.\t I\t know,\t I know,\tI\tknow. I\tended\tup\t in\tthe\t second-floor\tbathroom.\tNo\t one\twas\t there\tbecause\tfirst\t period\thad\tstarted and\t everyone\t was\t in\t class.\t I\t locked\t the\t door\t to\t my\t stall\t and\t took\t off\t my\t mask\t and\t just\t cried for\tI\tdon\u2019t\tknow\thow\tlong.\tThen\tI\twent\tto\tthe\tnurse\u2019s\toffice\tand\ttold\ther\tI\thad\ta\tstomach\tache, which\t was\t true,\t because\t I\t felt\t like\t I\u2019d\t been\t kicked\t in\t the\t gut.\t Nurse\t Molly\t called\t Mom\t and had\tme\tlie\tdown\ton\tthe\tsofa\tnext\tto\ther\tdesk.\tFifteen\tminutes\tlater,\tMom\twas\tat\tthe\tdoor. \u201cSweetness,\u201d\tshe\tsaid,\tcoming\tover\tto\thug\tme. \u201cHi,\u201d\tI\tmumbled.\tI\tdidn\u2019t\twant\ther\tto\task\tanything\tuntil\tafterward. \u201cYou\t have\t a\t stomach\t ache?\u201d\t she\t asked,\t automatically\t putting\t her\t hand\t on\t my\t forehead\t to check\tfor\tmy\ttemperature. \u201cHe\tsaid\the\tfeels\tlike\tthrowing\tup,\u201d\tsaid\tNurse\tMolly,\tlooking\tat\tme\twith\tvery\tnice\teyes. \u201cAnd\tI\thave\ta\theadache,\u201d\tI\twhispered. \u201cI\twonder\tif\tit\u2019s\tsomething\tyou\tate,\u201d\tsaid\tMom,\tlooking\tworried. \u201cThere\u2019s\ta\tstomach\tbug\tgoing\taround,\u201d\tsaid\tNurse\tMolly. \u201cOh\t geez,\u201d\t said\t Mom,\t her\t eyebrows\t going\t up\t as\t she\t shook\t her\t head.\t She\t helped\t me\t to\t my feet.\t\u201cShould\tI\tcall\ta\ttaxi\tor\tare\tyou\tokay\twalking\thome?\u201d \u201cI\tcan\twalk.\u201d \u201cWhat\t a\t brave\t kid!\u201d\t said\t Nurse\t Molly,\t patting\t me\t on\t the\t back\t as\t she\t walked\t us\t toward\t the door.\t\u201cIf\the\tstarts\tthrowing\tup\tor\truns\ta\ttemperature,\tyou\tshould\tcall\tthe\tdoctor.\u201d \u201cAbsolutely,\u201d\t said\t Mom,\t shaking\t Nurse\t Molly\u2019s\t hand.\t \u201cThank\t you\t so\t much\t for\t taking\t care\t of him.\u201d \u201cMy\tpleasure,\u201d\tanswered\tNurse\tMolly,\tputting\ther\thand\tunder\tmy\tchin\tand\ttilting\tmy\tface\tup. \u201cYou\ttake\tcare\tof\tyourself,\tokay?\u201d I\tnodded\tand\tmumbled\t\u201cThank\tyou.\u201d\tMom\tand\tI\thug-walked\tthe\twhole\tway\thome.\tI\tdidn\u2019t\ttell her\tanything\tabout\twhat\thad\thappened,\tand\tlater\twhen\tshe\tasked\tme\tif\tI\tfelt\twell\tenough\tto go\t trick-or-treating\t after\t school,\t I\t said\t no.\t This\t worried\t her,\t since\t she\t knew\t how\t much\t I usually\tloved\ttrick-or-treating. I\t heard\t her\t say\t to\t Dad\t on\t the\t phone:\t \u201c\u2026\t He\t doesn\u2019t\t even\t have\t the\t energy\t to\t go\t trick-or- treating.\u2026\t No,\t no\t fever\t at\t all\t \u2026\t Well,\t I\t will\t if\t he\t doesn\u2019t\t feel\t better\t by\t tomorrow.\u2026\t I\t know, poor\tthing\t\u2026\tImagine\this\tmissing\tHalloween.\u201d I\tgot\tout\tof\tgoing\tto\tschool\tthe\tnext\tday,\ttoo,\twhich\twas\tFriday.\tSo\tI\thad\tthe\twhole\tweekend\tto think\tabout\teverything.\tI\twas\tpretty\tsure\tI\twould\tnever\tgo\tback\tto\tschool\tagain.","Far\tabove\tthe\tworld Planet\tEarth\tis\tblue And\tthere\u2019s\tnothing\tI\tcan\tdo \u2014David\tBowie,\t\u201cSpace\tOddity\u201d","A\tTour\tof\tthe\tGalaxy August\tis\tthe\tSun.\tMe\tand\tMom\tand\tDad\tare\tplanets\torbiting\tthe\tSun.\tThe\trest\tof\tour\tfamily and\t friends\t are\t asteroids\t and\t comets\t floating\t around\t the\t planets\t orbiting\t the\t Sun.\t The\t only celestial\t body\t that\t doesn\u2019t\t orbit\t August\t the\t Sun\t is\t Daisy\t the\t dog,\t and\t that\u2019s\t only\t because\t to her\t little\t doggy\t eyes,\t August\u2019s\t face\t doesn\u2019t\t look\t very\t different\t from\t any\t other\t human\u2019s\t face. To\tDaisy,\tall\tour\tfaces\tlook\talike,\tas\tflat\tand\tpale\tas\tthe\tmoon. I\u2019m\tused\tto\tthe\tway\tthis\tuniverse\tworks.\tI\u2019ve\tnever\tminded\tit\tbecause\tit\u2019s\tall\tI\u2019ve\tever\tknown. I\u2019ve\t always\t understood\t that\t Augu\t st\t is\t special\t and\t has\t special\t needs.\t If\t I\t was\t playing\t too loudly\tand\the\twas\ttrying\tto\ttake\ta\tnap,\tI\tknew\tI\twould\thave\tto\tplay\tsomething\telse\tbecause\the needed\this\trest\tafter\tsome\tprocedure\tor\tother\thad\tleft\thim\tweak\tand\tin\tpain.\tIf\tI\twanted\tMom and\tDad\tto\twatch\tme\tplay\tsoccer,\tI\tknew\tthat\tnine\tout\tof\tten\ttimes\tthey\u2019d\tmiss\tit\tbecause\tthey were\t busy\t shuttling\t August\t to\t speech\t therapy\t or\t physical\t therapy\t or\t a\t new\t specialist\t or\t a surgery. Mom\t and\t Dad\t would\t always\t say\t I\t was\t the\t most\t understanding\t little\t girl\t in\t the\t world.\t I\t don\u2019t know\t about\t that,\t just\t that\t I\t understood\t there\t was\t no\t point\t in\t complaining.\t I\u2019ve\t seen\t August after\this\tsurgeries:\this\tlittle\tface\tbandaged\tup\tand\tswollen,\this\ttiny\tbody\tfull\tof\tIVs\tand\ttubes to\tkeep\thim\talive.\tAfter\tyou\u2019ve\tseen\tsomeone\telse\tgoing\tthrough\tthat,\tit\tfeels\tkind\tof\tcrazy\tto complain\t over\t not\t getting\t the\t toy\t you\t had\t asked\t for,\t or\t your\t mom\t missing\t a\t school\t play.\t I knew\tthis\teven\twhen\tI\twas\tsix\tyears\told.\tNo\tone\tever\ttold\tit\tto\tme.\tI\tjust\tknew\tit. So\tI\u2019ve\tgotten\tused\tto\tnot\tcomplaining,\tand\tI\u2019ve\tgotten\tused\tto\tnot\tbothering\t Mom\tand\t Dad with\t little\t stuff.\t I\u2019ve\t gotten\t used\t to\t figuring\t things\t out\t on\t my\t own:\t how\t to\t put\t toys\t together, how\t to\t organize\t my\t life\t so\t I\t don\u2019t\t miss\t friends\u2019\t birthday\t parties,\t how\t to\t stay\t on\t top\t of\t my schoolwork\tso\tI\tnever\tfall\tbehind\tin\tclass.\tI\u2019ve\tnever\tasked\tfor\thelp\twith\tmy\thomework.\tNever needed\treminding\tto\tfinish\ta\tproject\tor\tstudy\tfor\ta\ttest.\tIf\tI\twas\thaving\ttrouble\twith\ta\tsubject in\t school,\t I\u2019d\t go\t home\t and\t study\t it\t until\t I\t figured\t it\t out\t on\t my\t own.\t I\t taught\t myself\t how\t to convert\t fractions\t into\t decimal\t points\t by\t going\t online.\t I\u2019ve\t done\t every\t school\t project\t pretty much\t by\t myself.\t When\t Mom\t or\t Dad\t ask\t me\t how\t things\t are\t going\t in\t school,\t I\u2019ve\t always\t said \u201cgood\u201d\u2014even\t when\t it\t hasn\u2019t\t always\t been\t so\t good.\t My\t worst\t day,\t worst\t fall,\t worst\t headache, worst\t bruise,\t worst\t cramp,\t worst\t mean\t thing\t anyone\t could\t say\t has\t always\t been\t nothing compared\t to\t what\t August\t has\t gone\t through.\t This\t isn\u2019t\t me\t being\t noble,\t by\t the\t way:\t it\u2019s\t just the\tway\tI\tknow\tit\tis. And\t this\t is\t the\t way\t it\u2019s\t always\t been\t for\t me,\t for\t the\t little\t universe\t of\t us.\t But\t this\t year\t there seems\tto\tbe\ta\tshift\tin\tthe\tcosmos.\tThe\tgalaxy\tis\tchanging.\tPlanets\tare\tfalling\tout\tof\talignment.","Before\tAugust I\t honestly\t don\u2019t\t remember\t my\t life\t before\t August\t came\t into\t it.\t I\t look\t at\t pictures\t of\t me\t as\t a baby,\t and\t I\t see\t Mom\t and\t Dad\t smiling\t so\t happily,\t holding\t me.\t I\t can\u2019t\t believe\t how\t much younger\t they\t looked\t back\t then:\t Dad\t was\t this\t hipster\t dude\t and\t Mom\t was\t this\t cute\t Brazilian fashionista.\t There\u2019s\t one\t shot\t of\t me\t at\t my\t third\t birthday:\t Dad\u2019s\t right\t behind\t me\t while\t Mom\u2019s holding\t the\t cake\t with\t three\t lit\t candles,\t and\t in\t back\t of\t us\t are\t Tata\t and\t Poppa,\t Grans,\t Uncle Ben,\tAunt\tKate,\tand\tUncle\tPo.\tEveryone\u2019s\tlooking\tat\tme\tand\tI\u2019m\tlooking\tat\tthe\tcake.\tYou\tcan see\t in\t that\t picture\t how\t I\t really\t was\t the\t first\t child,\t first\t grandchild,\t first\t niece.\t I\t don\u2019t remember\twhat\tit\tfelt\tlike,\tof\tcourse,\tbut\tI\tcan\tsee\tit\tplain\tas\tcan\tbe\tin\tthe\tpictures. I\t don\u2019t\t remember\t the\t day\t they\t brought\t August\t home\t from\t the\t hospital.\t I\t don\u2019t\t remember what\tI\tsaid\tor\tdid\tor\t\tfelt\twhen\tI\tsaw\thim\tfor\tthe\tfirst\ttime,\tthough\teveryone\thas\ta\tstory\tabout it.\t Apparently,\t I\t just\t looked\t at\t him\t for\t a\t long\t time\t without\t saying\t anything\t at\t all,\t and\t then finally\tI\tsaid:\t\u201cIt\tdoesn\u2019t\tlook\tlike\tLilly!\u201d\tThat\twas\tthe\tname\tof\ta\tdoll\tGrans\thad\tgiven\tme\twhen Mom\t was\t pregnant\t so\t I\t could\t \u201cpractice\u201d\t being\t a\t big\t sister.\t It\t was\t one\t of\t those\t dolls\t that\t are incredibly\tlifelike,\tand\tI\thad\tcarried\tit\teverywhere\tfor\tmonths,\t\tchanging\tits\tdiaper,\tfeeding\tit. I\u2019m\ttold\tI\teven\tmade\ta\tbaby\tsling\tfor\tit.\tThe\tstory\tgoes\tthat\tafter\tmy\tinitial\treaction\tto\tAugust, it\tonly\ttook\ta\tfew\tminutes\t(according\tto\tGrans)\tor\ta\tfew\tdays\t(according\tto\tMom)\tbefore\tI\twas all\t over\t him:\t kissing\t him,\t cuddling\t him,\t baby\t talking\t to\t him.\t After\t that\t I\t never\t so\t much\t as touched\tor\tmentioned\tLilly\tever\tagain.","Seeing\tAugust I\t never\t used\t to\t see\t August\t the\t way\t other\t people\t saw\t him.\t I\t knew\t he\t didn\u2019t\t look\t exactly normal,\tbut\tI\treally\tdidn\u2019t\tunderstand\twhy\tstrangers\tseemed\tso\tshocked\twhen\tthey\tsaw\thim. Horrified.\t Sickened.\t Scared.\t There\t are\t so\t many\t words\t I\t can\t use\t to\t describe\t the\t looks\t on people\u2019s\tfaces.\tAnd\tfor\ta\tlong\ttime\tI\tdidn\u2019t\tget\tit.\tI\u2019d\tjust\tget\tmad.\tMad\twhen\tthey\tstared.\tMad when\t they\t looked\t away.\t \u201cWhat\t the\t heck\t are\t you\t looking\t at?\u201d\t I\u2019d\t say\t to\t people\u2014even\t grown- ups. Then,\t when\t I\t was\t about\t eleven,\t I\t went\t to\t stay\t with\t Grans\t in\t Montauk\t for\t four\t weeks\t while August\t was\t having\t his\t big\t jaw\t surgery.\t This\t was\t the\t longest\t I\u2019d\t ever\t been\t away\t from\t home, and\tI\thave\tto\tsay\tit\twas\tso\tamazing\tto\tsuddenly\tbe\tfree\tof\tall\tthat\tstuff\tthat\tmade\tme\tso\tmad. No\tone\tstared\tat\tGrans\tand\tme\twhen\twe\twent\tto\ttown\tto\tbuy\tgroceries.\tNo\tone\tpointed\tat\tus. No\tone\teven\tnoticed\tus. Grans\twas\tone\tof\tthose\tgrandmothers\twho\tdo\teverything\twith\ttheir\tgrandkids.\tShe\u2019d\trun\tinto the\t ocean\t if\t I\t asked\t her\t to,\t even\t if\t she\t had\t nice\t clothes\t on.\t She\t would\t let\t me\t play\t with\t her makeup\tand\tdidn\u2019t\tmind\tif\tI\tused\tit\ton\ther\tface\tto\tpractice\tmy\tface-painting\tskills.\tShe\u2019d\ttake me\tfor\tice\tcream\teven\tif\twe\thadn\u2019t\teaten\tdinner\tyet.\tShe\u2019d\tdraw\tchalk\thorses\ton\tthe\tsidewalk in\t front\t of\t her\t house.\t One\t night,\t while\t we\t were\t walking\t back\t from\t town,\t I\t told\t her\t that\t I wished\tI\tcould\tlive\twith\ther\tforever.\tI\twas\tso\thappy\tthere.\tI\tthink\tit\tmight\thave\tbeen\tthe\tbest time\tin\tmy\tlife. Coming\t home\t after\t four\t weeks\t felt\t very\t strange\t at\t first.\t I\t remember\t very\t vividly\t stepping through\t the\t door\t and\t seeing\t August\t running\t over\t to\t welcome\t me\t home,\t and\t for\t this\t tiny fraction\t of\t a\t moment\t I\t saw\t him\t not\t the\t way\t I\u2019ve\t always\t seen\t him,\t but\t the\t way\t other\t people see\t him.\t It\t was\t only\t a\t flash,\t an\t instant\t while\t he\t was\t hugging\t me,\t so\t happy\t that\t I\t was\t home, but\tit\tsurprised\tme\tbecause\tI\u2019d\tnever\tseen\thim\tlike\tthat\tbefore.\tAnd\tI\u2019d\tnever\tfelt\twhat\tI\twas feeling\t before,\t either:\t a\t feeling\t I\t hated\t myself\t for\t having\t the\t moment\t I\t had\t it.\t But\t as\t he\t was kissing\tme\twith\tall\this\theart,\tall\tI\tcould\tsee\twas\tthe\tdrool\tcoming\tdown\this\tchin.\tAnd\tsuddenly there\tI\twas,\tlike\tall\tthose\tpeople\twho\twould\tstare\tor\tlook\taway. Horrified.\tSickened.\tScared. Thankfully,\t that\t only\t lasted\t for\t a\t second:\t the\t moment\t I\t heard\t August\t laugh\t his\t raspy\t little laugh,\tit\twas\tover.\tEverything\twas\tback\tthe\tway\tit\thad\tbeen\tbefore.\tBut\tit\thad\topened\ta\tdoor for\t me.\t A\t little\t peephole.\t And\t on\t the\t other\t side\t of\t the\t peephole\t there\t were\t two\t Augusts:\t the one\tI\t\tsaw\tblindly,\tand\tthe\tone\tother\tpeople\tsaw. I\tthink\tthe\tonly\tperson\tin\tthe\tworld\tI\tcould\thave\ttold\tany\tof\tthis\tto\twas\tGrans,\tbut\tI\tdidn\u2019t.\tIt was\ttoo\thard\tto\texplain\tover\tthe\tphone.\tI\tthought\tmaybe\twhen\tshe\tcame\tfor\tThanksgiving,\tI\u2019d tell\t her\t what\t I\t felt.\t But\t just\t two\t months\t after\t I\t stayed\t with\t her\t in\t Montauk,\t my\t beautiful Grans\tdied.\tIt\twas\tso\tcompletely\tout\tof\tthe\tblue.\tApparently,\tshe\thad\tchecked\therself\tinto\tthe hospital\t because\t she\u2019d\t been\t feeling\t nauseous.\t Mom\t and\t I\t drove\t out\t to\t see\t her,\t but\t it\u2019s\t a three-hour\tdrive\tfrom\twhere\twe\tlive,\tand\tby\tthe\ttime\twe\tgot\tto\tthe\thospital,\tGrans\twas\tgone. A\theart\tattack,\tthey\ttold\tus.\tJust\tlike\tthat. It\u2019s\tso\tstrange\thow\tone\tday\tyou\tcan\tbe\ton\tthis\tearth,\tand\tthe\tnext\tday\tnot.\tWhere\tdid\tshe\tgo? Will\tI\treally\tever\tsee\ther\tagain,\tor\tis\tthat\ta\tfairy\ttale? You\tsee\tmovies\tand\tTV\tshows\twhere\tpeople\treceive\thorrible\tnews\tin\thospitals,\tbut\tfor\tus,\twith all\tour\tmany\ttrips\tto\tthe\thospital\twith\tAugust,\tthere\thad\talways\tbeen\tgood\toutcomes.\tWhat\tI remember\t the\t most\t from\t the\t day\t Grans\t died\t is\t Mom\t literally\t crumpling\t to\t the\t floor\t in\t slow, heaving\t sobs,\t holding\t her\t stomach\t like\t someone\t had\t just\t punched\t her.\t I\u2019ve\t never,\t ever\t seen Mom\t like\t that.\t Never\t heard\t sounds\t like\t that\t come\t out\t of\t her.\t Even\t through\t all\t of\t August\u2019s surgeries,\tMom\talways\tput\ton\ta\tbrave\tface. On\tmy\tlast\tday\tin\tMontauk,\tGrans\tand\tI\thad\twatched\tthe\tsun\tset\ton\tthe\tbeach.\tWe\thad\ttaken a\tblanket\tto\tsit\ton,\tbut\tit\thad\tgotten\tchilly,\tso\twe\twrapped\tit\taround\tus\tand\tcuddled\tand\ttalked until\tthere\twasn\u2019t\teven\ta\tsliver\tof\tsun\tleft\tover\tthe\tocean.\tAnd\tthen\tGrans\ttold\tme\tshe\thad\ta secret\tto\ttell\tme:\tshe\tloved\tme\tmore\tthan\tanyone\telse\tin\tthe\tworld.\t \u201cEven\tAugust?\u201d\tI\thad\tasked.","She\tsmiled\tand\tstroked\tmy\thair,\tlike\tshe\twas\tthinking\tabout\twhat\tto\tsay. \u201cI\t love\t Auggie\t very,\t very\t much,\u201d\t she\t said\t softly.\t I\t can\t still\t remember\t her\t Portuguese\t accent, the\t way\t she\t rolled\t her\t r\u2019s.\t \u201cBut\t he\t has\t many\t angels\t looking\t out\t for\t him\t already,\t Via.\t And\t I want\tyou\tto\tknow\tthat\tyou\thave\tme\tlooking\tout\tfor\tyou.\tOkay,\tmenina\tquerida?\tI\twant\tyou\tto know\tthat\tyou\tare\tnumber\tone\tfor\tme.\tYou\tare\tmy\t\u2026\u201d\tShe\tlooked\tout\tat\tthe\tocean\tand\tspread her\t hands\t out,\t like\t she\t was\t trying\t to\t smooth\t out\t the\t waves,\t \u201cYou\t are\t my\t everything.\t You understand\tme,\tVia?\tTu\tes\tmeu\ttudo.\u201d I\t understood\t her.\t And\t I\t knew\t why\t she\t said\t it\t was\t a\t secret.\t Grandmothers\t aren\u2019t\t supposed\t to have\t favorites.\t Everyone\t knows\t that.\t But\t after\t she\t died,\t I\t held\t on\t to\t that\t secret\t and\t let\t it cover\tme\tlike\ta\tblanket.","August Through\tthe\tPeephole His\t eyes\t are\t about\t an\t inch\t below\t where\t they\t should\t be\t on\t his\t face,\t almost\t to\t halfway\t down his\tcheeks.\tThey\tslant\tdownward\tat\tan\textreme\tangle,\talmost\tlike\tdiagonal\tslits\tthat\tsomeone cut\t into\t his\t face,\t and\t the\t left\t one\t is\t noticeably\t lower\t than\t the\t right\t one.\t They\t bulge\t outward because\t his\t eye\t cavities\t are\t too\t shallow\t to\t accommodate\t them.\t The\t top\t eyelids\t are\t always halfway\tclosed,\tlike\the\u2019s\ton\tthe\tverge\tof\tsleeping.\tThe\tlower\teyelids\tsag\tso\tmuch\tthey\talmost look\tlike\ta\tpiece\tof\tinvisible\tstring\tis\tpulling\tthem\tdownward:\tyou\tcan\tsee\tthe\tred\tpart\ton\tthe inside,\t like\t they\u2019re\t almost\t inside\t out.\t He\t doesn\u2019t\t have\t eyebrows\t or\t eyelashes.\t His\t nose\t is disproportionately\t big\t for\t his\t face,\t and\t kind\t of\t fleshy.\t His\t head\t is\t pinched\t in\t on\t the\t sides where\t the\t ears\t should\t be,\t like\t someone\t used\t giant\t pliers\t and\t crushed\t the\t middle\t part\t of\t his face.\t He\t doesn\u2019t\t have\t cheekbones.\t There\t are\t deep\t creases\t running\t down\t both\t sides\t of\t his nose\tto\this\tmouth,\twhich\tgives\thim\ta\twaxy\tappearance.\tSometimes\tpeople\tassume\the\u2019s\tbeen burned\tin\ta\tfire:\this\tfeatures\tlook\tlike\tthey\u2019ve\tbeen\tmelted,\tlike\tthe\tdrippings\ton\tthe\tside\tof\ta candle.\t Several\t surgeries\t to\t correct\t his\t palate\t have\t left\t a\t few\t scars\t around\t his\t mouth,\t the most\tnoticeable\tone\tbeing\ta\tjagged\tgash\trunning\tfrom\tthe\tmiddle\tof\this\tupper\tlip\tto\this\tnose. His\t upper\t teeth\t are\t small\t and\t splay\t out.\t He\t has\t a\t severe\t overbite\t and\t an\t extremely undersized\t jawbone.\t He\t has\t a\t very\t small\t chin.\t When\t he\t was\t very\t little,\t before\t a\t piece\t of\t his hip\t bone\t was\t surgically\t implanted\t into\t his\t lower\t jaw,\t he\t really\t had\t no\t chin\t at\t all.\t His\t tongue would\t just\t hang\t out\t of\t his\t mouth\t with\t nothing\t underneath\t to\t block\t it.\t Thankfully,\t it\u2019s\t better now.\tHe\tcan\teat,\tat\tleast:\twhen\the\twas\tyounger,\the\thad\ta\tfeeding\ttube.\tAnd\the\tcan\ttalk.\tAnd he\u2019s\t learned\t to\t keep\t his\t tongue\t inside\t his\t mouth,\t though\t that\t took\t him\t several\t years\t to master.\t He\u2019s\t also\t learned\t to\t control\t the\t drool\t that\t used\t to\t run\t down\t his\t neck.\t These\t are considered\tmiracles.\tWhen\the\twas\ta\tbaby,\tthe\tdoctors\tdidn\u2019t\tthink\the\u2019d\tlive. He\t can\t hear,\t too.\t Most\t kids\t born\t with\t these\t types\t of\t birth\t defects\t have\t problems\t with\t their middle\tears\tthat\tprevent\tthem\tfrom\thearing,\tbut\tso\tfar\tAugust\tcan\thear\twell\tenough\tthrough his\ttiny\tcauliflower-shaped\tears.\tThe\tdoctors\tthink\tthat\teventually\the\u2019ll\tneed\tto\twear\thearing aids,\tthough.\tAugust\thates\tthe\tthought\tof\tthis.\tHe\tthinks\tthe\thearing\taids\twill\tget\tnoticed\ttoo much.\t I\t don\u2019t\t tell\t him\t that\t the\t hearing\t aids\t would\t be\t the\t least\t of\t his\t problems,\t of\t course, because\tI\u2019m\tsure\the\tknows\tthis. Then\tagain,\tI\u2019m\tnot\treally\tsure\twhat\tAugust\tknows\tor\tdoesn\u2019t\tknow,\twhat\the\tunderstands\tand doesn\u2019t\tunderstand. Does\tAugust\tsee\thow\tother\tpeople\tsee\thim,\tor\thas\the\tgotten\tso\tgood\tat\tpretending\tnot\tto\tsee that\tit\t doesn\u2019t\tbother\t him?\tOr\t does\tit\t bother\thim?\t When\t he\tlooks\t in\tthe\t mirror,\tdoes\t he\tsee the\t Auggie\t Mom\t and\t Dad\t see,\t or\t does\t he\t see\t the\t Auggie\t everyone\t else\t sees?\t Or\t is\t there another\t August\t he\t sees,\t someone\t in\t his\t dreams\t behind\t the\t misshapen\t head\t and\t face? Sometimes\twhen\tI\tlooked\tat\tGrans,\tI\tcould\tsee\tthe\tpretty\tgirl\tshe\tused\tto\tbe\tunderneath\tthe wrinkles.\tI\tcould\tsee\tthe\tgirl\tfrom\tIpanema\tinside\tthe\told-lady\twalk.\tDoes\tAugust\tsee\thimself as\the\tmight\thave\tlooked\twithout\tthat\tsingle\tgene\tthat\tcaused\tthe\tcatastrophe\tof\this\tface? I\twish\tI\tcould\task\thim\tthis\tstuff.\tI\twish\the\twould\ttell\tme\thow\the\tfeels.\tHe\tused\tto\tbe\teasier\tto read\t before\t the\t surgeries.\t You\t knew\t that\t when\t his\t eyes\t squinted,\t he\t was\t happy.\t When\t his mouth\t went\t straight,\t he\t was\t being\t mischievous.\t When\t his\t cheeks\t trembled,\t he\t was\t about\t to cry.\t He\t looks\t better\t now,\t no\t doubt\t about\t that,\t but\t the\t signs\t we\t used\t to\t gauge\t his\t moods\t are all\t gone.\t There\t are\t new\t ones,\t of\t course.\t Mom\t and\t Dad\t can\t read\t every\t single\t one.\t But\t I\u2019m having\t trouble\t keeping\t up.\t And\t there\u2019s\t a\t part\t of\t me\t that\t doesn\u2019t\t want\t to\t keep\t trying:\t why can\u2019t\t he\t just\t say\t what\t he\u2019s\t feeling\t like\t everyone\t else?\t He\t doesn\u2019t\t have\t a\t trache\t tube\t in\t his mouth\tanymore\tthat\tkeeps\thim\tfrom\ttalking.\tHis\tjaw\u2019s\tnot\twired\tshut.\tHe\u2019s\tten\tyears\told.\tHe can\tuse\this\twords.\tBut\twe\tcircle\taround\thim\tlike\the\u2019s\tstill\tthe\tbaby\the\tused\tto\tbe.\tWe\tchange plans,\tgo\tto\tplan\tB,\tinterrupt\tconversations,\tgo\tback\ton\tpromises\tdepending\ton\this\tmoods,\this whims,\this\tneeds.\tThat\twas\tfine\twhen\the\twas\tlittle.\tBut\the\tneeds\tto\tgrow\tup\tnow.\tWe\tneed\tto let\thim,\thelp\thim,\tmake\thim\tgrow\tup.\tHere\u2019s\twhat\tI\tthink:\twe\u2019ve\tall\tspent\tso\tmuch\ttime\ttrying to\tmake\t\t August\t think\t he\u2019s\t normal\t that\t he\t actually\t thinks\t he\t is\t normal.\t And\t the\t problem\t is, he\u2019s\tnot.","High\tSchool What\t I\t always\t loved\t most\t about\t middle\t school\t was\t that\t it\t was\t separate\t and\t different\t from home.\t I\t could\t go\t there\t and\t be\t Olivia\t Pullman\u2014not\t Via,\t which\t is\t my\t name\t at\t home.\t Via\t was what\t they\t called\t me\t in\t elementary\t school,\t too.\t Back\t then,\t everyone\t knew\t all\t about\t us,\t of course.\t Mom\t used\t to\t pick\t me\t up\t after\t school,\t and\t August\t was\t always\t in\t the\t stroller.\t There weren\u2019t\t a\t lot\t of\t people\t who\t were\t equipped\t to\t babysit\t for\t Auggie,\t so\t Mom\t and\t Dad\t brought him\tto\tall\tmy\tclass\tplays\tand\tconcerts\tand\trecitals,\tall\tthe\tschool\tfunctions,\tthe\tbake\tsales\tand the\t book\t fairs.\t My\t friends\t knew\t him.\t My\t friends\u2019\t parents\t knew\t him.\t My\t teachers\t knew\t him. The\t janitor\t knew\t him.\t (\u201cHey,\t how\t ya\t doin\u2019,\t Auggie?\u201d\t he\u2019d\t always\t say,\t and\t give\t August\t a\t high five.)\tAugust\twas\tsomething\tof\ta\tfixture\tat\tPS\t22. But\t in\t middle\t school\t a\t lot\t of\t people\t didn\u2019t\t know\t about\t August.\t My\t old\t friends\t did,\t of\t course, but\t my\t new\t friends\t didn\u2019t.\t Or\t if\t they\t knew,\t it\t wasn\u2019t\t necessarily\t the\t first\t thing\t they\t knew about\t me.\t Maybe\t it\t was\t the\t second\t or\t third\t thing\t they\u2019d\t hear\t about\t me.\t \u201cOlivia?\t Yeah,\t she\u2019s nice.\tDid\tyou\thear\tshe\thas\ta\tbrother\twho\u2019s\tdeformed?\u201d\tI\talways\thated\tthat\tword,\tbut\tI\tknew\tit was\t how\t people\t described\t Auggie.\t And\t I\t knew\t those\t kinds\t of\t conversations\t probably happened\t all\t the\t time\t out\t of\t earshot,\t every\t time\t I\t left\t the\t room\t at\t a\t party,\t or\t bumped\t into groups\tof\tfriends\tat\tthe\tpizza\tplace.\tAnd\tthat\u2019s\tokay.\tI\u2019m\talways\tgoing\tto\tbe\tthe\tsister\tof\ta\tkid with\ta\tbirth\tdefect:\tthat\u2019s\tnot\tthe\tissue.\tI\tjust\tdon\u2019t\talways\twant\tto\tbe\tdefined\tthat\tway. The\tbest\tthing\tabout\thigh\tschool\tis\tthat\thardly\tanybody\tknows\tme\tat\tall.\tExcept\tMiranda\tand Ella,\tof\tcourse.\tAnd\tthey\tknow\tnot\tto\tgo\taround\ttalking\tabout\tit. Miranda,\t Ella,\t and\t I\t have\t known\t each\t other\t since\t the\t first\t grade.\t What\u2019s\t so\t nice\t is\t we\t never have\tto\texplain\tthings\tto\tone\tanother.\tWhen\tI\tdecided\tI\twanted\tthem\tto\tcall\tme\tOlivia\tinstead of\tVia,\tthey\tgot\tit\twithout\tmy\thaving\tto\texplain. They\u2019ve\tknown\tAugust\tsince\the\twas\ta\tlittle\tbaby.\tWhen\twe\twere\tlittle,\tour\tfavorite\tthing\tto\tdo was\t play\t dress\t up\t with\t Auggie;\t load\t him\t up\t with\t feather\t boas\t and\t big\t hats\t and\t Hannah Montana\twigs.\tHe\tused\tto\tlove\tit,\tof\tcourse,\tand\twe\tthought\the\twas\tadorably\tcute\tin\this\town way.\tElla\tsaid\the\treminded\ther\tof\tE.T.\tShe\tdidn\u2019t\tsay\tthis\tto\tbe\tmean,\tof\tcourse\t(though\tmaybe it\t was\t a\t little\t bit\t mean).\t The\t truth\t is,\t there\u2019s\t a\t scene\t in\t the\t movie\t when\t Drew\t Barrymore dresses\tE.T.\tin\ta\tblond\twig:\tand\tthat\twas\ta\tringer\tfor\tAuggie\tin\tour\tMiley\tCyrus\theyday. Throughout\t middle\t school,\t Miranda,\t Ella,\t and\t I\t were\t pretty\t much\t our\t own\t little\t group. Somewhere\t between\t super\t popular\t and\t well-liked:\t not\t brainy,\t not\t jocks,\t not\t rich,\t not druggies,\tnot\tmean,\tnot\tgoody-goody,\tnot\thuge,\tnot\tflat.\tI\tdon\u2019t\tknow\tif\tthe\tthree\tof\tus\tfound each\t other\t because\t we\t were\t so\t alike\t in\t so\t many\t ways,\t or\t that\t because\t we\t found\t each\t other, we\u2019ve\tbecome\tso\talike\tin\tso\tmany\tways.\tWe\twere\tso\thappy\twhen\twe\tall\tgot\tinto\tFaulkner\tHigh School.\tIt\twas\tsuch\ta\tlong\tshot\tthat\tall\tthree\tof\tus\twould\tbe\taccepted,\tespecially\twhen\talmost no\t one\t else\t from\t our\t middle\t school\t was.\t I\t remember\t how\t we\t screamed\t into\t our\t phones\t the day\twe\tgot\tour\tacceptance\tletters. This\tis\twhy\tI\thaven\u2019t\tunderstood\twhat\u2019s\tbeen\tgoing\ton\twith\tus\tlately,\tnow\tthat\twe\u2019re\tactually in\thigh\tschool.\tIt\u2019s\tnothing\tlike\thow\tI\tthought\tit\twould\tbe.","Major\tTom Out\tof\tthe\tthree\tof\tus,\tMiranda\thad\talmost\talways\tbeen\tthe\tsweetest\tto\tAugust,\thugging\thim and\t playing\t with\t him\t long\t after\t Ella\t and\t I\t had\t moved\t on\t to\t playing\t something\t else.\t Even\t as we\t got\t older,\t Miranda\t always\t made\t sure\t to\t try\t to\t include\t August\t in\t our\t conversations,\t ask him\thow\the\twas\tdoing,\ttalk\tto\thim\tabout\tAvatar\tor\tStar\tWars\tor\tBone\tor\tsomething\tshe\tknew he\tliked.\tIt\twas\tMiranda\twho\thad\tgiven\tAuggie\tthe\tastronaut\thelmet\the\twore\tpractically\tevery day\t of\t the\t year\t when\t he\t was\t five\t or\t six.\t She\t would\t call\t him\t Major\t Tom\t and\t they\t would\t sing \u201cSpace\tOddity\u201d\tby\tDavid\tBowie\ttogether.\tIt\twas\ttheir\tlittle\tthing.\tThey\tknew\tall\tthe\twords\tand would\tblast\tit\ton\tthe\tiPod\tand\tsing\tthe\tsong\tout\tloud. Since\t Miranda\u2019s\t always\t been\t really\t good\t about\t calling\t us\t as\t soon\t as\t she\t got\t home\t from summer\tcamp,\tI\twas\ta\tlittle\tsurprised\twhen\tI\tdidn\u2019t\thear\tfrom\ther.\tI\teven\ttexted\ther\tand\tshe didn\u2019t\treply.\tI\tfig\tured\tmaybe\tshe\thad\tended\tup\tstaying\tin\tthe\tcamp\tlonger,\tnow\tthat\tshe\twas a\tcounselor.\tMaybe\tshe\tmet\ta\tcute\tguy. Then\t I\t realized\t from\t her\t Facebook\t wall\t that\t she\u2019d\t actually\t been\t back\t home\t for\t a\t full\t two weeks,\tso\tI\tsent\ther\tan\tIM\tand\twe\tchatted\tonline\ta\tbit,\tbut\tshe\tdidn\u2019t\tgive\tme\ta\treason\tfor\tnot calling,\twhich\tI\tthought\twas\tbizarre.\tMiranda\thad\talways\tbeen\ta\tlittle\tflaky,\tso\tI\tfigured\tthat\u2019s all\t it\t was.\t We\t made\t plans\t to\t meet\t downtown,\t but\t then\t I\t had\t to\t cancel\t because\t we\t were driving\tout\tto\tvisit\tTata\tand\tPoppa\tfor\tthe\tweekend. So\t I\t ended\t up\t not\t seeing\t either\t Miranda\t or\t Ella\t until\t the\t first\t day\t of\t school.\t And,\t I\t have\t to admit,\tI\twas\tshocked.\tMiranda\tlooked\tso\tdifferent:\ther\thair\twas\tcut\tin\tthis\tsuper-cute\tbob\tthat she\u2019d\tdyed\tbright\tpink,\tof\tall\tthings,\tand\tshe\twas\twearing\ta\tstriped\ttube\ttop\tthat\t(a)\tseemed way\tinappropriate\tfor\tschool,\tand\t(b)\twas\ttotally\tnot\ther\tusual\tstyle.\tMiranda\thad\talways\tbeen such\t a\t prude\t about\t clothes,\t and\t here\t she\t was\t all\t pink-haired\t and\t tube-topped.\t But\t it\t wasn\u2019t just\t the\t way\t she\t looked\t that\t was\t different:\t she\t was\t acting\t differently,\t too.\t I\t can\u2019t\t say\t she wasn\u2019t\tnice,\tbecause\tshe\twas,\tbut\tshe\tseemed\tkind\tof\tdistant,\tlike\tI\twas\ta\tcasual\tfriend.\tIt\twas the\tweirdest\tthing\tin\tthe\tworld. At\tlunch\tthe\tthree\tof\tus\tsat\ttogether\tlike\twe\talways\tused\tto,\tbut\tthe\tdynamics\thad\tshifted.\tIt was\tobvious\tto\tme\tthat\tElla\tand\tMiranda\thad\tgotten\ttogether\ta\tfew\ttimes\tduring\tthe\tsummer without\t me,\t though\t they\t never\t actually\t said\t that.\t I\t pretended\t not\t to\t be\t at\t all\t upset\t while\t we talked,\t though\t I\t could\t feel\t my\t face\t getting\t hot,\t my\t smile\t being\t fake.\t Although\t Ella\t wasn\u2019t\t as over-the-top\tas\tMiranda,\tI\tnoticed\ta\tchange\tin\ther\tusual\tstyle,\ttoo.\tIt\u2019s\tlike\tthey\thad\ttalked\tto each\t other\t beforehand\t about\t redoing\t their\t image\t at\t the\t new\t school,\t but\t hadn\u2019t\t bothered\t to clue\t me\t in.\t I\t admit:\t I\t had\t always\t thought\t I\t was\t above\t this\t kind\t of\t typical\t teenage\t pettiness, but\t I\t felt\t a\t lump\t in\t my\t throat\t throughout\t lunch.\t My\t voice\t quivered\t as\t I\t said\t \u201cSee\t you\t later\u201d when\tthe\tbell\trang.","After\tSchool \u201cI\thear\twe\u2019re\tdriving\tyou\thome\ttoday.\u201d It\t was\t Miranda\t in\t eighth\t period.\t She\t had\t just\t sat\t down\t at\t the\t desk\t right\t behind\t me.\t I\t had forgotten\tthat\tMom\thad\tcalled\tMiranda\u2019s\tmother\tthe\tnight\tbefore\tto\task\tif\tshe\tcould\tdrive\tme home\tfrom\tschool. \u201cYou\tdon\u2019t\thave\tto,\u201d\tI\tanswered\tinstinctively,\tcasually.\t\u201cMy\tmom\tcan\tpick\tme\tup.\u201d \u201cI\tthought\tshe\thad\tto\tpick\tAuggie\tup\tor\tsomething.\u201d \u201cIt\tturns\tout\tshe\tcan\tpick\tme\tup\tafterward.\tShe\tjust\ttexted\tme.\tNot\ta\tproblem.\u201d \u201cOh.\tOkay.\u201d \u201cThanks.\u201d It\t was\t all\t a\t lie\t on\t my\t part,\t but\t I\t couldn\u2019t\t see\t sitting\t in\t a\t car\t with\t the\t new\t Miranda.\t After school\tI\tducked\tinto\ta\trestroom\tto\tavoid\tbumping\tinto\tMiranda\u2019s\tmother\toutside.\tHalf\tan\thour later\t I\t walked\t out\t of\t the\t school,\t ran\t the\t three\t blocks\t to\t the\t bus\t stop,\t hopped\t on\t the\t M86\t to Central\tPark\tWest,\tand\ttook\tthe\tsubway\thome. \u201cHey\tthere,\tsweetie!\u201d\tMom\tsaid\tthe\tmoment\tI\tstepped\tthrough\tthe\tfront\tdoor.\t\u201cHow\twas\tyour first\tday?\tI\twas\tstarting\tto\twonder\twhere\tyou\tguys\twere.\u201d \u201cWe\tstopped\tfor\tpizza.\u201d\tIncredible\thow\teasily\ta\tlie\tcan\tslip\tthrough\tyour\tlips. \t \u201cIs\tMiranda\tnot\twith\tyou?\u201d\tShe\tseemed\tsurprised\tthat\tMiranda\twasn\u2019t\tright\tbehind\tme. \u201cShe\twent\tstraight\thome.\tWe\thave\ta\tlot\tof\thomework.\u201d \u201cOn\tyour\tfirst\tday?\u201d \u201cYes,\t on\t our\t first\t day!\u201d\t I\t yelled,\t which\t completely\t surprised\t Mom.\t But\t before\t she\t could\t say anything,\t I\t said:\t \u201cSchool\t was\t fine.\t It\u2019s\t really\t big,\t though.\t The\t kids\t seem\t nice.\u201d\t I\t wanted\t to give\t her\t enough\t information\t so\t she\t wouldn\u2019t\t feel\t the\t need\t to\t ask\t me\t more.\t \u201cHow\t was Auggie\u2019s\tfirst\tday\tof\tschool?\u201d Mom\t hesitated,\t her\t eyebrows\t still\t high\t up\t on\t her\t forehead\t from\t when\t I\u2019d\t snapped\t at\t her\t a second\tearlier.\t\u201cOkay,\u201d\tshe\tsaid\tslowly,\tlike\tshe\twas\tletting\tout\ta\tbreath. \u201cWhat\tdo\tyou\tmean\t\u2018okay\u2019?\u201d\tI\tsaid.\t\u201cWas\tit\tgood\tor\tbad?\u201d \u201cHe\tsaid\tit\twas\tgood.\u201d \u201cSo\twhy\tdo\tyou\tthink\tit\twasn\u2019t\tgood?\u201d \u201cI\tdidn\u2019t\tsay\tit\twasn\u2019t\tgood!\tGeez,\tVia,\twhat\u2019s\tup\twith\tyou?\u201d \u201cJust\tforget\tI\tasked\tanything\tat\tall,\u201d\tI\tanswered,\tand\tstormed\tdramatically\tinto\tAuggie\u2019s\troom and\t slammed\t the\t door.\t He\t was\t on\t his\t PlayStation\t and\t didn\u2019t\t even\t look\t up.\t I\t hated\t how zombified\this\tvideo\tgames\tmade\thim. \u201cSo\thow\twas\tschool?\u201d\tI\tsaid,\tscooching\tDaisy\tover\tso\tI\tcould\tsit\ton\this\tbed\tnext\tto\thim. \u201cFine,\u201d\the\tanswered,\tstill\tnot\tlooking\tup\tfrom\this\tgame. \u201cAuggie,\tI\u2019m\ttalking\tto\tyou!\u201d\tI\tpulled\tthe\tPlayStation\tout\tof\this\thands. \u201cHey!\u201d\the\tsaid\tangrily. \u201cHow\twas\tschool?\u201d","\u201cI\tsaid\tfine!\u201d\the\tyelled\tback,\tgrabbing\tthe\tPlayStation\tback\tfrom\tme. \u201cWere\tpeople\tnice\tto\tyou?\u201d \u201cYes!\u201d \u201cNo\tone\twas\tmean?\u201d He\tput\tthe\tPlayStation\tdown\tand\tlooked\tup\tat\tme\tas\tif\tI\thad\tjust\tasked\tthe\tdumbest\tquestion in\t the\t world.\t \u201cWhy\t would\t people\t be\t mean?\u201d\t he\t said.\t It\t was\t the\t first\t time\t in\t his\t life\t that\t I heard\thim\tbe\tsarcastic\tlike\tthat.\tI\tdidn\u2019t\tthink\the\thad\tit\tin\thim.","The\tPadawan\tBites\tthe\tDust I\u2019m\tnot\tsure\tat\twhat\tpoint\tthat\tnight\tAuggie\thad\tcut\toff\this\tPadawan\tbraid,\tor\twhy\tthat\tmade me\treally\tmad.\tI\thad\talways\tfound\this\tobsession\twith\teverything\tStar\tWars\tkind\tof\tgeeky,\tand that\tbraid\tin\tthe\tback\tof\this\thair,\twith\tits\tlittle\tbeads,\twas\tjust\tawful.\tBut\the\thad\talways\tbeen so\tproud\tof\tit,\tof\thow\tlong\tit\ttook\thim\tto\tgrow\tit,\tof\thow\the\thad\tchosen\tthe\tbeads\thimself\tin\ta crafts\t store\t in\t Soho.\t He\t and\t Christopher,\t his\t best\t friend,\t used\t to\t play\t with\t lightsabers\t and Star\tWars\tstuff\twhenever\tthey\tgot\ttogether,\tand\tthey\thad\tboth\t\tstarted\tgrowing\ttheir\tbraids\tat the\t same\t time.\t When\t August\t cut\t his\t braid\t off\t that\t night,\t without\t an\t explanation,\t without telling\t me\t beforehand\t (which\t was\t surprising)\u2014or\t even\t calling\t Christopher\u2014I\t was\t just\t so upset\tI\tcan\u2019t\teven\texplain\twhy. I\u2019ve\tseen\tAuggie\tbrushing\this\thair\tin\tthe\tbathroom\tmirror.\tHe\tmeticulously\ttries\tto\tget\tevery hair\t in\t place.\t He\t tilts\t his\t head\t to\t look\t at\t himself\t from\t different\t angles,\t like\t there\u2019s\t some magic\tperspective\tinside\tthe\tmirror\tthat\tcould\tchange\tthe\tdimensions\tof\this\tface. Mom\t knocked\t on\t my\t door\t after\t dinner.\t She\t looked\t drained,\t and\t I\t realized\t that\t between\t me and\tAuggie,\ttoday\thad\tbeen\ta\ttough\tday\tfor\ther,\ttoo. \u201cSo\tyou\twant\tto\ttell\tme\twhat\u2019s\tup?\u201d\tshe\tasked\tnicely,\tsoftly. \u201cNot\t now,\t okay?\u201d\t I\t answered.\t I\t was\t reading.\t I\t was\t tired.\t Maybe\t later\t I\u2019d\t be\t up\t to\t telling\t her about\tMiranda,\tbut\tnot\tnow. \u201cI\u2019ll\t check\t in\t before\t you\t go\t to\t bed,\u201d\t she\t said,\t and\t then\t she\t came\t over\t and\t kissed\t me\t on\t the top\tof\tmy\thead. \u201cCan\tDaisy\tsleep\twith\tme\ttonight?\u201d \u201cSure,\tI\u2019ll\tbring\ther\tin\tlater.\u201d \u201cDon\u2019t\tforget\tto\tcome\tback,\u201d\tI\tsaid\tas\tshe\tleft. \u201cI\tpromise.\u201d But\tshe\tdidn\u2019t\tcome\tback\tthat\tnight.\tDad\tdid.\tHe\ttold\tme\tAuggie\thad\thad\ta\tbad\tfirst\tday\tand Mom\twas\thelping\thim\tthrough\tit.\tHe\tasked\tme\thow\tmy\tday\thad\tgone\tand\tI\ttold\thim\tfine.\tHe said\the\tdidn\u2019t\tbelieve\tme\tfor\ta\tsecond,\tand\tI\ttold\thim\tMiranda\tand\tElla\twere\tacting\tlike\tjerks. (I\t didn\u2019t\t mention\t how\t I\t took\t the\t subway\t home\t by\t myself,\t though.)\t He\t said\t nothing\t tests friendships\t like\t high\t school,\t and\t then\t proceeded\t to\t poke\t fun\t at\t the\t fact\t that\t I\t was\t reading War\t and\t Peace.\t Not\t real\t fun,\t of\t course,\t since\t I\u2019d\t heard\t him\t brag\t to\t people\t that\t he\t had\t a \u201cfifteen-year-old\twho\tis\treading\tTolstoy.\u201d\tBut\the\tliked\tto\trib\tme\tabout\twhere\tI\twas\tin\tthe\tbook, in\ta\twar\tpart\tor\tin\ta\tpeace\tpart,\tand\tif\tthere\twas\tanything\tin\tthere\tabout\tNapoleon\u2019s\tdays\tas\ta hip-hop\t dancer.\t It\t was\t silly\t stuff,\t but\t Dad\t always\t managed\t to\t make\t everyone\t laugh.\t And sometimes\tthat\u2019s\tall\tyou\tneed\tto\tfeel\tbetter. \u201cDon\u2019t\tbe\tmad\tat\tMom,\u201d\the\tsaid\tas\the\tbent\tdown\tto\tgive\tme\ta\tgood-night\tkiss.\t\u201cYou\tknow\thow much\tshe\tworries\tabout\tAuggie.\u201d \u201cI\tknow,\u201d\tI\tacknowledged. \u201cWant\tthe\tlight\ton\tor\toff?\tIt\u2019s\tgetting\tkind\tof\tlate,\u201d\the\tsaid,\tpausing\tby\tthe\tlight\tswitch\tat\tthe door. \u201cCan\tyou\tbring\tDaisy\tin\tfirst?\u201d Two\tseconds\tlater\the\tcame\tback\twith\tDaisy\tdangling\tin\this\tarms,\tand\the\tlaid\ther\tdown\tnext\tto me\ton\tthe\tbed. \u201cGood\tnight,\tsweetheart,\u201d\the\tsaid,\tkissing\tmy\tforehead.\tHe\tkissed\tDaisy\ton\ther\tforehead,\ttoo. \u201cGood\tnight,\tgirlie.\tSweet\tdreams.\u201d","An\tApparition\tat\tthe\tDoor Once,\t I\t got\t up\t in\t the\t middle\t of\t the\t night\t because\t I\t was\t thirsty,\t and\t I\t saw\t Mom\t standing outside\t Auggie\u2019s\t room.\t Her\t hand\t was\t on\t the\t doorknob,\t her\t forehead\t leaning\t on\t the\t door, which\t was\t ajar.\t She\t wasn\u2019t\t going\t in\t his\t room\t or\t stepping\t out:\t just\t standing\t right\t outside\t the door,\tas\tif\tshe\twas\tlistening\tto\tthe\tsound\tof\this\tbreathing\tas\the\tslept.\tThe\thallway\tlights\twere out.\tThe\tonly\tthing\tilluminating\ther\twas\tthe\tblue\tnight-light\tin\tAugust\u2019s\tbedroom.\tShe\tlooked ghostlike\t standing\t there.\t Or\t maybe\t I\t should\t say\t angelic.\t I\t tried\t to\t walk\t back\t into\t my\t room without\tdisturbing\ther,\tbut\tshe\theard\tme\tand\twalked\tover\tto\tme. \u201cIs\tAuggie\tokay?\u201d\tI\tasked.\tI\tknew\tthat\tsometimes\the\twould\twake\tup\tchoking\ton\this\town\tsaliva if\the\taccidentally\tturned\tover\ton\this\tback. \u201cOh,\t he\u2019s\t fine,\u201d\t she\t said,\t wrapping\t her\t arms\t around\t me.\t She\t walked\t me\t back\t into\t my\t room, pulled\t the\t covers\t over\t me,\t and\t kissed\t me\t good\t \t night.\t She\t never\t explained\t what\t she\t was doing\toutside\this\tdoor,\tand\tI\tnever\tasked. I\t wonder\t how\t many\t nights\t she\u2019s\t stood\t outside\t his\t door.\t And\t I\t wonder\t if\t she\u2019s\t ever\t stood outside\tmy\tdoor\tlike\tthat.","Breakfast \u201cCan\t you\t pick\t me\t up\t from\t school\t today?\u201d\t I\t said\t the\t next\t morning,\t smearing\t some\t cream cheese\ton\tmy\tbagel. Mom\t was\t making\t August\u2019s\t lunch\t (American\t cheese\t on\t whole-wheat\t bread,\t soft\t enough\t for Auggie\t to\t eat)\t while\t August\t sat\t eating\t oatmeal\t at\t the\t table.\t Dad\t was\t getting\t ready\t to\t go\t to work.\t Now\t that\t I\t was\t in\t high\t school,\t the\t new\t school\t routine\t was\t going\t to\t be\t that\t Dad\t and\t I would\t take\t the\t subway\t together\t in\t the\t morning,\t which\t meant\t his\t having\t to\t leave\t fifteen minutes\t earlier\t than\t usual,\t then\t I\u2019d\t get\t off\t at\t my\t stop\t and\t he\u2019d\t keep\t going.\t And\t Mom\t was going\tto\tpick\tme\tup\tafter\tschool\tin\tthe\tcar. \u201cI\t was\t going\t to\t call\t Miranda\u2019s\t mother\t to\t see\t if\t she\t could\t drive\t you\t home\t again,\u201d\t Mom answered. \u201cNo,\tMom!\u201d\tI\tsaid\tquickly.\t\u201cYou\tpick\tme\tup.\tOr\tI\u2019ll\tjust\ttake\tthe\tsubway.\u201d \u201cYou\tknow\tI\tdon\u2019t\twant\tyou\tto\ttake\tthe\tsubway\tby\tyourself\tyet,\u201d\tshe\tanswered. \u201cMom,\tI\u2019m\tfifteen!\tEverybody\tmy\tage\ttakes\tthe\tsubway\tby\tthemselves!\u201d \u201cShe\t can\t take\t the\t subway\t home,\u201d\t said\t Dad\t from\t the\t other\t room,\t adjusting\t his\t tie\t as\t he stepped\tinto\tthe\tkitchen. \u201cWhy\tcan\u2019t\tMiranda\u2019s\tmother\tjust\tpick\ther\tup\tagain?\u201d\tMom\targued\twith\thim. \u201cShe\u2019s\told\tenough\tto\ttake\tthe\tsubway\tby\therself,\u201d\tDad\tinsisted. Mom\tlooked\tat\tboth\tof\tus.\t\u201cIs\tsomething\tgoing\ton?\u201d\tShe\tdidn\u2019t\taddress\ther\tquestion\tto\teither one\tof\tus\tin\tparticular. \u201cYou\t would\t know\t if\t you\t had\t come\t back\t to\t check\t on\t me,\u201d\t I\t said\t spitefully,\t \u201clike\t you\t said\tyou would.\u201d \u201cOh\t God,\t Via,\u201d\t said\t Mom,\t remembering\t now\t how\t she\t had\t completely\t ditched\t me\t last\t night. She\tput\tdown\tthe\tknife\tshe\twas\tusing\tto\tcut\tAuggie\u2019s\tgrapes\tin\thalf\t(still\ta\tchoking\thazard\tfor him\t because\t of\t the\t size\t of\t his\t palate).\t \u201cI\t am\t so\t sorry.\t I\t fell\t asleep\t in\t Auggie\u2019s\t room.\t By\t the time\tI\twoke\tup\t\u2026\u201d \u201cI\tknow,\tI\tknow.\u201d\tI\tnodded\tindifferently. Mom\tcame\tover,\tput\ther\thands\ton\tmy\tcheeks,\tand\tlifted\tmy\tface\tto\tlook\tat\ther. \u201cI\u2019m\treally,\treally\tsorry,\u201d\tshe\twhispered.\tI\tcould\ttell\tshe\twas. \u201cIt\u2019s\tokay!\u201d\tI\tsaid. \u201cVia\t\u2026\u201d \u201cMom,\tit\u2019s\tfine.\u201d\tThis\ttime\tI\tmeant\tit.\tShe\tlooked\tso\tgenuinely\tsorry\tI\tjust\twanted\tto\tlet\ther\toff the\thook. She\tkissed\tand\thugged\tme,\tthen\treturned\tto\tthe\tgrapes. \u201cSo,\tis\tsomething\tgoing\ton\twith\tMiranda?\u201d\tshe\tasked. \u201cJust\tthat\tshe\u2019s\tacting\tlike\ta\tcomplete\tjerk,\u201d\tI\tsaid. \u201cMiranda\u2019s\tnot\ta\tjerk!\u201d\tAuggie\tquickly\tchimed\tin. \u201cShe\tcan\tbe!\u201d\tI\tyelled.\t\u201cBelieve\tme.\u201d \u201cOkay\tthen,\tI\u2019ll\tpick\tyou\tup,\tno\tproblem,\u201d\tMom\tsaid\tdecisively,\tsweeping\tthe\thalf-grapes\tinto\ta snack\tbag\twith\tthe\tside\tof\ther\tknife.\t\u201cThat\twas\tthe\tplan\tall\talong\tanyway.\tI\u2019ll\tpick\tAuggie\tup from\tschool\tin\tthe\tcar\tand\tthen\twe\u2019ll\tpick\tyou\tup.\tWe\u2019ll\tprobably\tget\tthere\tabout\ta\tquarter\tto four.\u201d","\u201cNo!\u201d\tI\tsaid\tfirmly,\tbefore\tshe\u2019d\teven\tfinished. \u201cIsabel,\t she\t can\t take\t the\t subway!\u201d\t said\t Dad\t impatiently.\t \u201cShe\u2019s\t a\t big\t girl\t now.\t She\u2019s\t reading War\tand\tPeace,\tfor\tcrying\tout\tloud.\u201d \u201cWhat\tdoes\tWar\tand\tPeace\thave\tto\twith\tanything?\u201d\tanswered\tMom,\tclearly\tannoyed. \u201cIt\tmeans\tyou\tdon\u2019t\thave\tto\tpick\ther\tup\tin\tthe\tcar\tlike\tshe\u2019s\ta\tlittle\tgirl,\u201d\the\tsaid\tsternly.\t\u201cVia, are\tyou\tready?\tGet\tyour\tbag\tand\tlet\u2019s\tgo.\u201d \u201cI\u2019m\tready,\u201d\tI\tsaid,\tpulling\ton\tmy\tbackpack.\t\u201cBye,\tMom!\tBye,\tAuggie!\u201d I\tkissed\tthem\tboth\tquickly\tand\theaded\ttoward\tthe\tdoor. \u201cDo\tyou\teven\thave\ta\tMetroCard?\u201d\tMom\tsaid\tafter\tme. \u201cOf\t course\t she\t has\t a\t MetroCard!\u201d\t answered\t Dad,\t fully\t exasperated.\t \u201cYeesh,\t Momma!\t Stop worrying\tso\tmuch!\tBye,\u201d\the\tsaid,\tkissing\ther\ton\tthe\tcheek.\t\u201cBye,\tbig\tboy,\u201d\the\tsaid\tto\tAugust, kissing\thim\ton\tthe\ttop\tof\this\thead.\t\u201cI\u2019m\tproud\tof\tyou.\tHave\ta\tgood\tday.\u201d \u201cBye,\tDaddy!\tYou\ttoo.\u201d Dad\tand\tI\tjogged\tdown\tthe\tstoop\tstairs\tand\theaded\tdown\tthe\tblock. \t \u201cCall\t me\t after\t school\t before\t you\t get\t on\t the\t subway!\u201d\t Mom\t yelled\t at\t me\t from\t the\t window.\t I didn\u2019t\t even\t turn\t around\t but\t waved\t my\t hand\t at\t her\t so\t she\u2019d\t know\t I\t heard\t her.\t Dad\t did\t turn around,\twalking\tbackward\tfor\ta\tfew\tsteps. \u201cWar\tand\tPeace,\tIsabel!\u201d\the\tcalled\tout,\tsmiling\tas\the\tpointed\tat\tme.\t\u201cWar\tand\tPeace!\u201d","Genetics\t101 Both\t sides\t of\t Dad\u2019s\t family\t were\t Jews\t from\t Russia\t and\t Poland.\t Poppa\u2019s\t grandparents\t fled\t the pogroms\t and\t ended\t up\t in\t NYC\t at\t the\t turn\t of\t the\t century.\t Tata\u2019s\t parents\t fled\t the\t Nazis\t and ended\t up\t in\t Argentina\t in\t the\t forties.\t Poppa\t and\t Tata\t met\t at\t a\t dance\t on\t the\t Lower\t East\t Side while\tshe\twas\tin\ttown\tvisiting\ta\tcousin.\tThey\tgot\tmarried,\tmoved\tto\tBayside,\tand\thad\tDad\tand Uncle\tBen. Mom\u2019s\t side\t of\t the\t family\t is\t from\t Brazil.\t Except\t for\t her\t mother,\t my\t beautiful\t Grans,\t and\t her dad,\t Agosto,\t who\t died\t before\t I\t was\t born,\t the\t rest\t of\t Mom\u2019s\t family\u2014all\t her\t glamorous\t aunts, uncles,\t and\t cousins\u2014still\t live\t in\t Alto\t Leblon,\t a\t ritzy\t suburb\t south\t of\t Rio.\t Grans\t and\t Agosto moved\t to\t Boston\t in\t the\t early\t sixties,\t and\t had\t Mom\t and\t Aunt\t Kate,\t who\u2019s\t married\t to\t Uncle Porter. Mom\t and\t Dad\t met\t at\t Brown\t University\t and\t have\t been\t together\t ever\t since.\t Isabel\t and\t Nate: like\ttwo\tpeas\tin\ta\tpod.\tThey\tmoved\tto\tNew\tYork\tright\tafter\tcollege,\thad\tme\ta\tfew\tyears\tlater, then\t moved\t to\t a\t brick\t townhouse\t in\t North\t River\t Heights,\t the\t hippie-stroller\t capital\t of\t upper upper\tManhattan,\twhen\tI\twas\tabout\ta\tyear\told. Not\tone\tperson\tin\tthe\texotic\tmix\tof\tmy\tfamily\tgene\tpool\thas\tever\tshown\tany\tobvious\tsigns\tof having\t what\t August\t has.\t I\u2019ve\t pored\t over\t grainy\t sepia\t pictures\t of\t long-dead\t relatives\t in babushkas;\tblack-and-white\tsnapshots\tof\tdistant\tcousins\tin\tcrisp\twhite\tlinen\tsuits,\tsoldiers\tin uniform,\t ladies\t with\t beehive\t hairdos;\t Polaroids\t of\t bell-bottomed\t teenagers\t and\t long-haired hippies,\t and\t not\t once\t have\t I\t been\t able\t to\t detect\t even\t the\t slightest\t trace\t of\t August\u2019s\t face\t in their\tfaces.\tNot\ta\tone.\tBut\tafter\tAugust\twas\tborn,\tmy\tparents\tunderwent\tgenetic\tcounseling. They\t were\t told\t that\t August\t had\t what\t seemed\t to\t be\t a\t \u201cpreviously\t unknown\t type\t of mandibulofacial\t dysostosis\t caused\t by\t an\t autosomal\t recessive\t mutation\t in\t the\t TCOF1\t gene, which\t is\t located\t on\t chromosome\t 5,\t complicated\t by\t a\t hemifacial\t microsomia\t characteristic\t of OAV\t spectrum.\u201d\t Sometimes\t these\t mutations\t occur\t during\t pregnancy.\t Sometimes\t they\u2019re inherited\t from\t one\t parent\t carrying\t the\t dominant\t gene.\t Sometimes\t they\u2019re\t caused\t by\t the interaction\t of\t many\t genes,\t possibly\t in\t combination\t with\t environmental\t factors.\t This\t is\t called multifactorial\t inheritance.\t In\t August\u2019s\t case,\t the\t doctors\t were\t able\t to\t identify\t one\t of\t the \u201csingle\t nucleotide\t deletion\t mutations\u201d\t that\t made\t war\t on\t his\t face.\t The\t weird\t thing\t is,\t though you\u2019d\tnever\tknow\tit\tfrom\tlooking\tat\tthem:\tboth\tmy\tparents\tcarry\tthat\tmutant\tgene. And\tI\tcarry\tit,\ttoo.","The\tPunnett\tSquare If\t I\t have\t children,\t there\u2019s\t a\t one-in-two\t chance\t that\t I\t will\t pass\t on\t the\t defective\t gene\t to\t them. That\tdoesn\u2019t\tmean\tthey\u2019ll\tlook\tlike\tAugust,\tbut\tthey\u2019ll\tcarry\tthe\tgene\tthat\tgot\tdouble-dosed\tin August\t and\t helped\t make\t him\t the\t way\t he\t is.\t If\t I\t marry\t someone\t who\t has\t the\t same\t defective gene,\tthere\u2019s\ta\tone-in-two\tchance\tthat\tour\tkids\twill\tcarry\tthe\tgene\tand\tlook\ttotally\tnormal,\ta one-in-four\t chance\t that\t our\t kids\t will\t not\t carry\t the\t gene\t at\t all,\t and\t a\t one-in-four\t chance\t that our\tkids\twill\tlook\tlike\tAugust. If\t August\t has\t children\t with\t someone\t who\t doesn\u2019t\t have\t a\t trace\t of\t the\t gene,\t there\u2019s\t a\t 100 percent\t probability\t that\t their\t kids\t will\t inherit\t the\t gene,\t but\t a\t zero\t percent\t chance\t that\t their kids\t will\t have\t a\t double\t dose\t of\t it,\t like\t August.\t Which\t means\t they\u2019ll\t carry\t the\t gene\t no\t matter what,\t but\t they\t could\t look\t totally\t normal.\t If\t he\t marries\t someone\t who\t has\t the\t gene,\t their\t kids will\thave\tthe\tsame\todds\tas\tmy\tkids. This\tonly\texplains\tthe\tpart\tof\tAugust\tthat\u2019s\texplainable.\tThere\u2019s\tthat\tother\tpart\tof\this\tgenetic makeup\tthat\u2019s\tnot\tinherited\tbut\tjust\tincredibly\tbad\tluck. Countless\t doctors\t have\t drawn\t little\t tic-tac-toe\t grids\t for\t my\t parents\t over\t the\t years\t to\t try\t to explain\t the\t genetic\t lottery\t to\t them.\t Geneticists\t use\t these\t Punnett\t squares\t to\t determine inheritance,\t recessive\t and\t dominant\t genes,\t probabilities\t and\t chance.\t But\t for\t all\t they\t know, there\u2019s\t more\t they\t don\u2019t\t know.\t They\t can\t try\t to\t forecast\t the\t odds,\t but\t they\t can\u2019t\t guarantee them.\t They\t use\t terms\t like\t \u201cgermline\t mosaicism,\u201d\t \u201cchromosome\t rearrangement,\u201d\t or\t \u201cdelayed mutation\u201d\tto\texplain\twhy\ttheir\tscience\tis\tnot\tan\texact\tscience.\tI\tactually\tlike\thow\tdoctors\ttalk. I\t like\t the\t sound\t of\t science.\t I\t like\t how\t words\t you\t don\u2019t\t understand\t explain\t things\t you\t can\u2019t understand.\t There\t are\t countless\t people\t under\t words\t like\t \u201cgermline\t mosaicism,\u201d \u201cchromosome\trearrangement,\u201d\tor\t\u201cdelayed\tmutation.\u201d\tCountless\tbabies\twho\u2019ll\tnever\tbe\tborn, like\tmine.","Out\twith\tthe\tOld Miranda\t and\t Ella\t blasted\t off.\t They\t attached\t themselves\t to\t a\t new\t crowd\t destined\t for\t high school\t glory.\t After\t a\t week\t of\t painful\t lunches\t where\t all\t they\t would\t do\t was\t talk\t about\t people that\tdidn\u2019t\tinterest\tme,\tI\tdecided\tto\tmake\ta\tclean\tbreak\tfor\tit.\tThey\tasked\tno\tquestions.\tI\ttold no\tlies.\tWe\tjust\twent\tour\tsepa\trate\tways. I\t didn\u2019t\t even\t mind\t after\t a\t while.\t I\t stopped\t going\t to\t lunch\t for\t about\t a\t week,\t though,\t to\t make the\ttransition\teasier,\tto\tavoid\tthe\tfake\tOh,\tshoot,\tthere\u2019s\tno\troom\tfor\tyou\tat\tthe\ttable,\tOlivia! It\twas\teasier\tjust\tto\tgo\tto\tthe\tlibrary\tand\tread. I\t finished\t War\t and\t Peace\t in\t October.\t It\t was\t amazing.\t People\t think\t it\u2019s\t such\t a\t hard\t read,\t but it\u2019s\t really\t just\t a\t soap\t opera\t with\t lots\t of\t characters,\t people\t falling\t in\t love,\t fighting\t for\t love, dying\t for\t love.\t I\t want\t to\t be\t in\t love\t like\t that\t someday.\t I\t want\t my\t husband\t to\t love\t me\t the\t way Prince\tAndrei\tloved\tNatasha. I\t ended\t up\t hanging\t out\t with\t a\t girl\t named\t Eleanor\t who\t I\u2019d\t known\t from\t my\t days\t at\t PS\t 22, though\twe\u2019d\tgone\tto\tdifferent\tmiddle\tschools.\tEleanor\thad\talways\tbeen\ta\treally\tsmart\tgirl\u2014a little\tbit\tof\ta\tcrybaby\tback\tthen,\tbut\tnice.\tI\u2019d\tnever\trealized\thow\tfunny\tshe\twas\t(not\tlaugh-out- loud\t Daddy-funny,\t but\t full\t of\t great\t quips),\t and\t she\t never\t knew\t how\t lighthearted\t I\t could\t be. Eleanor,\t I\t guess,\t had\t always\t been\t under\t the\t impression\t that\t I\t was\t very\t serious.\t And,\t as\t it turns\tout,\tshe\u2019d\tnever\tliked\tMiranda\tand\tElla.\tShe\tthought\tthey\twere\tstuck-up. I\tgained\tentry\tthrough\tEleanor\tto\tthe\tsmart-kids\u2019\ttable\tat\tlunch.\tIt\twas\ta\tlarger\tgroup\tthan\tI\u2019d been\t accustomed\t to\t hanging\t out\t with,\t and\t a\t more\t diverse\t crowd.\t It\t included\t Eleanor\u2019s boyfriend,\t Kevin,\t who\t would\t definitely\t become\t class\t president\t someday;\t a\t few\t techie\t guys; girls\t like\t Eleanor\t who\t were\t members\t of\t the\t yearbook\t committee\t and\t the\t debate\t club;\t and\t a quiet\tguy\tnamed\tJustin\twho\thad\tsmall\tround\tglasses\tand\tplayed\tthe\tviolin,\tand\twho\tI\thad\tan instant\tcrush\ton. When\t I\u2019d\t see\t Miranda\t and\t Ella,\t who\t were\t now\t hanging\t out\t with\t the\t super-popular\t set,\t we\u2019d say\t \u201cHey,\t what\u2019s\t up,\u201d\t and\t move\t on.\t Occasionally\t Miranda\t would\t ask\t me\t how\t August\t was doing,\tand\tthen\tsay\t\u201cTell\thim\tI\tsay\thello.\u201d\tThis\tI\tnever\tdid,\tnot\tto\tspite\tMiranda,\tbut\tbecause August\t was\t in\t his\t own\t world\t these\t days.\t There\t were\t times,\t at\t home,\t that\t we\t never\t crossed paths.","October\t31 Grans\thad\tdied\tthe\tnight\tbefore\tHalloween.\tSince\tthen,\teven\tthough\tit\u2019s\tbeen\tfour\tyears,\tthis has\t always\t been\t a\t sad\t time\t of\t year\t for\t me.\t For\t Mom,\t too,\t though\t she\t doesn\u2019t\t always\t say\t it. Instead,\tshe\timmerses\therself\tin\tgetting\tAugust\u2019s\tcostume\tready,\tsince\twe\tall\tknow\tHalloween is\this\tfavorite\ttime\tof\tyear. This\tyear\twas\tno\tdifferent.\tAugust\treally\twanted\tto\tbe\ta\tStar\tWars\tcharacter\tcalled\tBoba\tFett, so\tMom\tlooked\tfor\ta\tBoba\tFett\tcost\tume\tin\tAugust\u2019s\tsize,\twhich,\tstrangely\tenough,\twas\tout\tof stock\teverywhere.\tShe\twent\tto\tevery\tonline\tstore,\tfound\ta\tfew\ton\teBay\tthat\twere\tgoing\tfor\tan outrageous\tamount,\tand\tfinally\tended\tup\tbuying\ta\tJango\tFett\tcostume\tthat\tshe\tthen\tconverted into\t a\t Boba\t Fett\t costume\t by\t painting\t it\t green.\t I\t would\t say,\t in\t all,\t she\t must\t have\t spent\t two weeks\t working\t on\t the\t stupid\t costume.\t And\t no,\t I\t won\u2019t\t mention\t the\t fact\t that\t Mom\t has\t never made\tany\tof\tmy\tcostumes,\tbecause\tit\treally\thas\tno\tbearing\ton\tanything\tat\tall. The\t morning\t of\t Halloween\t I\t woke\t up\t thinking\t about\t Grans,\t which\t made\t me\t really\t sad\t and weepy.\t Dad\t kept\t telling\t me\t to\t hurry\t up\t and\t get\t dressed,\t which\t just\t stressed\t me\t out\t even more,\tand\tsuddenly\tI\tstarted\tcrying.\tI\tjust\twanted\tto\tstay\thome. So\tDad\ttook\tAugust\tto\tschool\tthat\tmorning\tand\tMom\tsaid\tI\tcould\tstay\thome,\tand\tthe\ttwo\tof\tus cried\t together\t for\t a\t while.\t One\t thing\t I\t knew\t for\t sure:\t however\t much\t I\t missed\t Grans,\t Mom must\t have\t missed\t her\t more.\t All\t those\t times\t August\t was\t clinging\t to\t life\t after\t a\t surgery,\t all those\t rush\t trips\t to\t the\t ER:\t Grans\t had\t always\t been\t there\t for\t Mom.\t It\t felt\t good\t to\t cry\t with Mom.\t For\t both\t of\t us.\t At\t some\t point,\t Mom\t had\t the\t idea\t of\t our\t watching\t The\t Ghost\t and\t Mrs. Muir\t together,\t which\t was\t one\t of\t our\t all-time\t favorite\t black-and-white\t movies.\t I\t agreed\t that that\t was\t a\t great\t idea.\t I\t think\t I\t probably\t would\t have\t used\t this\t weeping\t session\t as\t an opportunity\t to\t tell\t Mom\t everything\t that\t was\t going\t on\t at\t school\t with\t Miranda\t and\t Ella,\t but just\tas\twe\twere\tsitting\tdown\tin\tfront\tof\tthe\tDVD\tplayer,\tthe\tphone\trang.\tIt\twas\tthe\tnurse\tfrom August\u2019s\tschool\tcalling\tto\ttell\tMom\tthat\tAugust\thad\ta\tstomach\tache\tand\tshould\tbe\tpicked\tup. So\tmuch\tfor\tthe\told\tmovies\tand\tthe\tmother-daughter\tbonding. Mom\tpicked\tAugust\tup,\tand\tthe\tmoment\the\tcame\thome,\the\twent\tstraight\tto\tthe\tbathroom\tand threw\t up.\t Then\t he\t went\t to\t his\t bed\t and\t pulled\t the\t covers\t over\t his\t head.\t Mom\t took\t his temperature,\t brought\t him\t some\t hot\t tea,\t and\t assumed\t the\t \u201cAugust\u2019s\t mom\u201d\t role\t again.\t \u201cVia\u2019s mom,\u201d\twho\thad\tcome\tout\tfor\ta\tlittle\twhile,\twas\tput\taway.\tI\tunderstood,\tthough:\tAugust\twas\tin bad\tshape. \t Neither\tone\tof\tus\tasked\thim\twhy\the\thad\tworn\this\tBleeding\tScream\tcostume\tto\tschool\tinstead of\t the\t Boba\t Fett\t costume\t Mom\t had\t made\t for\t him.\t If\t it\t annoyed\t Mom\t to\t see\t the\t costume\t she had\tworked\ton\tfor\ttwo\tweeks\ttossed\ton\tthe\tfloor,\tunused,\tshe\tdidn\u2019t\tshow\tit.","Trick\tor\tTreat August\tsaid\the\twasn\u2019t\tfeeling\twell\tenough\tto\tgo\ttrick-or-treating\tlater\tin\tthe\tafternoon,\twhich was\t sad\t for\t him\t because\t I\t know\t how\t much\t he\t loved\t to\t trick-or-treat\u2014especially\t after\t it\t got dark\toutside.\tEven\tthough\tI\twas\twell\tbeyond\tthe\ttrick-or-treating\tstage\tmyself,\tI\tusually\tthrew on\tsome\tmask\tor\tother\tto\taccompany\thim\tup\tand\tdown\tthe\tblocks,\twatching\thim\tknocking\ton people\u2019s\tdoors,\tgiddy\twith\texcitement.\tI\tknew\tit\twas\tthe\tone\tnight\ta\tyear\twhen\the\tcould\ttruly be\t like\t every\t other\t kid.\t No\t one\t knew\t he\t was\t different\t under\t the\t mask.\t To\t August,\t that\t must have\tfelt\tabsolutely\tamazing. At\tseven\to\u2019clock\tthat\tnight,\tI\tknocked\ton\this\tdoor. \u201cHey,\u201d\tI\tsaid. \u201cHey,\u201d\t he\t said\t back.\t He\t wasn\u2019t\t using\t his\t PlayStation\t or\t reading\t a\t comic\t book.\t He\t was\t just lying\tin\this\tbed\tlooking\tat\tthe\tceiling.\tDaisy,\tas\talways,\twas\tnext\tto\thim\ton\tthe\tbed,\ther\thead draped\tover\this\tlegs.\tThe\tBleeding\tScream\tcostume\twas\tcrumpled\tup\ton\tthe\tfloor\tnext\tto\tthe Boba\tFett\tcostume. \u201cHow\u2019s\tyour\tstomach?\u201d\tI\tsaid,\tsitting\tnext\tto\thim\ton\tthe\tbed. \u201cI\u2019m\tstill\tnauseous.\u201d \u201cYou\tsure\tyou\u2019re\tnot\tup\tfor\tthe\tHalloween\tParade?\u201d \u201cPositive.\u201d This\t surprised\t me.\t Usually\t August\t was\t such\t a\t trouper\t about\t his\t medical\t issues,\t whether\t it was\tskateboarding\ta\tfew\tdays\tafter\ta\tsurgery\tor\tsipping\tfood\tthrough\ta\tstraw\twhen\this\tmouth was\t practically\t bolted\t shut.\t This\t was\t a\t kid\t who\u2019s\t gotten\t more\t shots,\t taken\t more\t medicines, put\tup\twith\tmore\tprocedures\tby\tthe\tage\tof\tten\tthan\tmost\tpeople\twould\thave\tto\tput\tup\twith\tin ten\tlifetimes,\tand\the\twas\tsidelined\tfrom\ta\tlittle\tnausea? \u201cYou\twant\tto\ttell\tme\twhat\u2019s\tup?\u201d\tI\tsaid,\tsounding\ta\tbit\tlike\tMom. \u201cNo.\u201d \u201cIs\tit\tschool?\u201d \u201cYes.\u201d \u201cTeachers?\tSchoolwork?\tF\triends?\u201d He\tdidn\u2019t\tanswer. \u201cDid\tsomeone\tsay\tsomething?\u201d\tI\tasked. \u201cPeople\talways\tsay\tsomething,\u201d\the\tanswered\tbitterly.\tI\tcould\ttell\the\twas\tclose\tto\tcrying. \u201cTell\tme\twhat\thappened,\u201d\tI\tsaid. And\t he\t told\t me\t what\t happened.\t He\t had\t overheard\t some\t very\t mean\t things\t some\t boys\t were saying\tabout\thim.\tHe\tdidn\u2019t\tcare\tabout\twhat\tthe\tother\tboys\thad\tsaid,\the\texpected\tthat,\tbut\the was\t hurt\t that\t one\t of\t the\t boys\t was\t his\t \u201cbest\t friend\u201d\t Jack\t Will.\t I\t remembered\t his\t mentioning Jack\t a\t couple\t of\t times\t over\t the\t past\t few\t months.\t I\t remembered\t Mom\t and\t Dad\t saying\t he seemed\t like\t a\t really\t nice\t kid,\t saying\t they\t were\t glad\t August\t had\t already\t made\t a\t friend\t like that. \u201cSometimes\tkids\tare\tstupid,\u201d\tI\tsaid\tsoftly,\tholding\this\thand.\t\u201cI\u2019m\tsure\the\tdidn\u2019t\tmean\tit.\u201d \u201cThen\twhy\twould\the\tsay\tit?\tHe\u2019s\tbeen\tpretending\tto\tbe\tmy\tfriend\tall\talong.\tTushman\tprobably bribed\t him\t with\t good\t grades\t or\t something.\t I\t bet\t you\t he\t was\t like,\t hey,\t Jack,\t if\t you\t make friends\twith\tthe\tfreak,\tyou\tdon\u2019t\thave\tto\ttake\tany\ttests\tthis\tyear.\u201d \u201cYou\tknow\tthat\u2019s\tnot\ttrue.\tAnd\tdon\u2019t\tcall\tyourself\ta\tfreak.\u201d","\u201cWhatever.\tI\twish\tI\u2019d\tnever\tgone\tto\tschool\tin\tthe\tfirst\tplace.\u201d \u201cBut\tI\tthought\tyou\twere\tliking\tit.\u201d \u201cI\thate\tit!\u201d\tHe\twas\tangry\tall\tof\ta\tsudden,\tpunching\this\tpillow. \u201cI\thate\tit!\tI\thate\tit!\tI\thate\tit!\u201d\tHe\twas\tshrieking\tat\tthe\ttop\tof\this\tlungs. I\tdidn\u2019t\tsay\tanything.\tI\tdidn\u2019t\tknow\twhat\tto\tsay.\tHe\twas\thurt.\tHe\twas\tmad. I\tlet\thim\thave\ta\tfew\tmore\tminutes\tof\this\tfury.\tDaisy\tstarted\tlicking\tthe\ttears\toff\tof\this\tface. \u201cCome\t on,\t Auggie,\u201d\t I\t said,\t patting\t his\t back\t gently.\t \u201cWhy\t don\u2019t\t you\t put\t on\t your\t Jango\t Fett costume\tand\u2014\u201d \u201cIt\u2019s\ta\tBoba\tFett\tcostume!\tWhy\tdoes\teveryone\tmix\tthat\tup?\u201d \u201cBoba\tFett\tcostume,\u201d\tI\tsaid,\ttrying\tto\tstay\tcalm.\tI\tput\tmy\tarm\taround\this\tshoulders.\t\u201cLet\u2019s\tjust go\tto\tthe\tparade,\tokay?\u201d \u201cIf\tI\tgo\tto\tthe\tparade,\tMom\twill\tthink\tI\u2019m\tfeeling\tbetter\tand\tmake\tme\tgo\tto\tschool\ttomorrow.\u201d \u201cMom\twould\tnever\tmake\tyou\tgo\tto\tschool,\u201d\tI\tanswered.\t\u201cCome\ton,\tAuggie.\tLet\u2019s\tjust\tgo.\tIt\u2019ll be\tfun,\tI\tpromise.\tAnd\tI\u2019ll\tlet\tyou\thave\tall\tmy\tcandy.\u201d He\t didn\u2019t\t argue.\t He\t got\t out\t of\t bed\t and\t slowly\t started\t pulling\t on\t his\t Boba\t Fett\t costume.\t I helped\t him\t adjust\t the\t straps\t and\t tighten\t the\t belt,\t and\t by\t the\t time\t he\t put\t his\t helmet\t on,\t I could\ttell\the\twas\tfeeling\tbetter.","Time\tto\tThink August\tplayed\tup\tthe\tstomach\tache\tthe\tnext\tday\tso\the\twouldn\u2019t\thave\tto\tgo\tto\tschool.\tI\tadmit\tI felt\ta\tlittle\tbad\tfor\tMom,\twho\twas\tgenuinely\tconcerned\tthat\the\thad\ta\tstomach\tbug,\tbut\tI\thad promised\tAugust\tI\twouldn\u2019t\ttell\ther\tabout\tthe\tincident\tat\tschool. By\tSunday,\the\twas\tstill\tdetermined\tnot\tto\tgo\tback\tto\tschool. \u201cWhat\tare\tyou\tplanning\ton\ttelling\tMom\tand\tDad?\u201d\tI\tasked\thim\twhen\the\ttold\tme\tthis. \u201cThey\t said\t I\t could\t quit\t whenever\t I\t wanted\t to.\u201d\t He\t said\t this\t while\t he\t was\t still\t focused\t on\t a comic\tbook\the\twas\treading. \u201cBut\t you\u2019ve\t never\t been\t the\t kind\t of\t kid\t who\t quits\t things,\u201d\t I\t said\t truthfully.\t \u201cThat\u2019s\t not\t like you.\u201d \u201cI\u2019m\tquitting.\u201d \u201cYou\u2019re\tgoing\tto\thave\tto\ttell\tMom\tand\tDad\twhy,\u201d\tI\tpointed\tout,\tpulling\tthe\tcomic\tbook\tout\tof his\thands\tso\the\u2019d\thave\tto\tlook\tup\tat\tme\twhile\twe\twere\ttalking.\t\u201cThen\tMom\twill\tcall\tthe\tschool and\teveryone\twill\tknow\tabout\tit.\u201d \u201cWill\tJack\tget\tin\ttrouble?\u201d \u201cI\twould\tthink\tso.\u201d \u201cGood.\u201d I\thave\tto\tadmit,\tAugust\twas\tsurprising\tme\tmore\tand\tmore.\tHe\tpulled\tanother\tcomic\tbook\toff his\tshelf\tand\tstarted\tleafing\tthrough\tit. \u201cAuggie,\u201d\tI\tsaid.\t\u201cAre\tyou\treally\tgoing\tto\tlet\ta\tcouple\tof\tstupid\tkids\tkeep\tyou\tfrom\tgoing\tback to\t school?\t I\t know\t you\u2019ve\t been\t enjoying\t it.\t Don\u2019t\t give\t them\t that\t power\t over\t you.\t Don\u2019t\t give them\tthe\tsatisfaction.\u201d \u201cThey\thave\tno\tidea\tI\teven\theard\tthem,\u201d\the\texplained. \u201cNo,\tI\tknow,\tbut\t\u2026\u201d \u201cVia,\tit\u2019s\tokay.\tI\tknow\twhat\tI\u2019m\tdoing.\tI\u2019ve\tmade\tup\tmy\tmind.\u201d \u201cBut\t this\t is\t crazy,\t Auggie!\u201d\t I\t said\t emphatically,\t pulling\t the\t new\t comic\t book\t away\t from\t him, too.\t \u201cYou\t have\t to\t go\t back\t to\t school.\t Everyone\t hates\t school\t sometimes.\t I\t hate\t school sometimes.\t I\t hate\t my\t friends\t sometimes.\t That\u2019s\t just\t life,\t Auggie.\t You\t want\t to\t be\t treated normally,\tright?\tThis\tis\tnormal!\tWe\tall\thave\tto\tgo\tto\tschool\tsometimes\tdespite\tthe\tfact\tthat\twe have\tbad\tdays,\tokay?\u201d \u201cDo\t people\t go\t out\t of\t their\t way\t to\t avoid\t touching\t you,\t Via?\u201d\t he\t answered,\t which\t left\t me momentarily\t without\t an\t answer.\t \u201cYeah,\t right.\t That\u2019s\t what\t I\t thought.\t So\t don\u2019t\t compare\t your bad\tdays\tat\tschool\tto\tmine,\tokay?\u201d \u201cOkay,\tthat\u2019s\tfair,\u201d\tI\tsaid.\t\u201cBut\tit\u2019s\tnot\ta\tcontest\tabout\twhose\tdays\tsuck\tthe\tmost,\tAuggie.\tThe point\t is\t we\t all\t have\t to\t put\t up\t with\t the\t bad\t days.\t Now,\t unless\t you\t want\t to\t be\t treated\t like\t a baby\tthe\trest\tof\tyour\tlife,\tor\tlike\ta\tkid\twith\tspecial\tneeds,\tyou\tjust\thave\tto\tsuck\tit\tup\tand\tgo.\u201d He\tdidn\u2019t\tsay\tanything,\tbut\tI\tthink\tthat\tlast\tbit\twas\tgetting\tto\thim. \u201cYou\t don\u2019t\t have\t to\t say\t a\t word\t to\t those\t kids,\u201d\t I\t continued.\t \u201cAugust,\t actually,\t it\u2019s\t so\t cool\t that you\tknow\twhat\tthey\tsaid,\tbut\tthey\tdon\u2019t\tknow\tyou\tknow\twhat\tthey\tsaid,\tyou\tknow?\u201d \u201cWhat\tthe\theck?\u201d \u201cYou\t know\t what\t I\t mean.\t You\t don\u2019t\t have\t to\t talk\t to\t them\t ever\t again,\t if\t you\t don\u2019t\t want.\t And they\u2019ll\t never\t know\t why.\t See?\t Or\t you\t can\t pretend\t to\t be\t friends\t with\t them,\t but\t deep\t down inside\tyou\tknow\tyou\u2019re\tnot.\u201d","\u201cIs\tthat\thow\tyou\tare\twith\tMiranda?\u201d\the\tasked. \u201cNo,\u201d\tI\tanswered\tquickly,\tdefensively.\t\u201cI\tnever\tfaked\tmy\tfeelings\twith\tMiranda.\u201d \u201cSo\twhy\tare\tyou\tsaying\tI\tshould?\u201d \u201cI\u2019m\tnot!\tI\u2019m\tjust\tsaying\tyou\tshouldn\u2019t\tlet\tthose\tlittle\tjerks\tget\tto\tyou,\tthat\u2019s\tall.\u201d \u201cLike\tMiranda\tgot\tto\tyou.\u201d \u201cWhy\tdo\tyou\tkeep\tbringing\tMiranda\tup?\u201d\tI\tyelled\timpatiently.\t\u201cI\u2019m\ttrying\tto\ttalk\tto\tyou\tabout your\tfriends.\tPlease\tkeep\tmine\tout\tof\tit.\u201d \u201cYou\u2019re\tnot\teven\tfriends\twith\ther\tanymore.\u201d \u201cWhat\tdoes\tthat\thave\tto\tdo\twith\twhat\twe\u2019re\ttalking\tabout?\u201d The\t way\t August\t was\t looking\t at\t me\t reminded\t me\t of\t a\t doll\u2019s\t face.\t He\t was\t just\t staring\t at\t me blankly\twith\this\thalf-closed\tdoll\teyes. \u201cShe\tcalled\tthe\tother\tday,\u201d\the\tsaid\tfinally. \u201cWhat?\u201d\tI\twas\tstunned.\t\u201cAnd\tyou\tdidn\u2019t\ttell\tme?\u201d \u201cShe\t wasn\u2019t\t calling\t you,\u201d\t he\t answered,\t pulling\t both\t comic\t books\t out\t of\t my\t hands.\t \u201cShe\t was calling\tme.\tJust\tto\tsay\thi.\tTo\tsee\thow\tI\twas\tdoing.\tShe\tdidn\u2019t\teven\tknow\tI\twas\tgoing\tto\ta\treal school\tnow.\tI\tcan\u2019t\tbelieve\tyou\thadn\u2019t\teven\ttold\ther.\tShe\tsaid\tthe\ttwo\tof\tyou\tdon\u2019t\thang\tout\tas much\tanymore,\tbut\tshe\twanted\tme\tto\tknow\tshe\u2019d\talways\tlove\tme\tlike\ta\tbig\tsister.\u201d Double-stunned.\tStung.\tFlabbergasted.\tNo\twords\tformed\tin\tmy\tmouth. \u201cWhy\tdidn\u2019t\tyou\ttell\tme?\u201d\tI\tsaid,\tfinally. \t \u201cI\tdon\u2019t\tknow.\u201d\tHe\tshrugged,\topening\tthe\tfirst\tcomic\tbook\tagain. \u201cWell,\t I\u2019m\t telling\t Mom\t and\t Dad\t about\t Jack\t Will\t if\t you\t stop\t going\t to\t school,\u201d\t I\t answered. \u201cTushman\twill\tprobably\tcall\tyou\tinto\tschool\tand\tmake\tJack\tand\tthose\tother\tkids\tapologize\tto you\t in\t front\t of\t everyone,\t and\t everyone\t will\t treat\t you\t like\t a\t kid\t who\t should\t be\t going\t to\t a school\t for\t kids\t with\t special\t needs.\t Is\t that\t what\t you\t want?\t Because\t that\u2019s\t what\u2019s\t going\t to happen.\t Otherwise,\t just\t go\t back\t to\t school\t and\t act\t like\t nothing\t happened.\t Or\t if\t you\t want\t to confront\tJack\tabout\tit,\tfine.\tBut\teither\tway,\tif\tyou\u2014\u201d \u201cFine.\tFine.\tFine,\u201d\the\tinterrupted. \u201cWhat?\u201d \u201cFine!\t I\u2019ll\t go!\u201d\t he\t yelled,\t not\t loudly.\t \u201cJust\t stop\t talking\t about\t it\t already.\t Can\t I\t please\t read\t my book\tnow?\u201d \u201cFine!\u201d\t I\t answered.\t Turning\t to\t leave\t his\t room,\t I\t thought\t of\t something.\t \u201cDid\t Miranda\t say anything\telse\tabout\tme?\u201d He\tlooked\tup\tfrom\tthe\tcomic\tbook\tand\tlooked\tright\tinto\tmy\teyes. \u201cShe\tsaid\tto\ttell\tyou\tshe\tmisses\tyou.\tQuote\tunquote.\u201d I\tnodded. \u201cThanks,\u201d\tI\tsaid\tcasually,\ttoo\tembarrassed\tto\tlet\thim\tsee\thow\thappy\tthat\tmade\tme\tfeel.","You\tare\tbeautiful\tno\tmatter\twhat\tthey\tsay Words\tcan\u2019t\tbring\tyou\tdown You\tare\tbeautiful\tin\tevery\tsingle\tway Yes,\twords\tcan\u2019t\tbring\tyou\tdown \u2014Christina\tAguilera,\t\u201cBeautiful\u201d","Weird\tKids Some\t kids\t have\t actually\t come\t out\t and\t asked\t me\t why\t I\t hang\t out\t with\t \u201cthe\t freak\u201d\t so\t much. These\tare\tkids\tthat\tdon\u2019t\teven\tknow\thim\twell.\tIf\tthey\tknew\thim,\tthey\twouldn\u2019t\tcall\thim\tthat. \u201cBecause\the\u2019s\ta\tnice\tkid!\u201d\tI\talways\tanswer.\t\u201cAnd\tdon\u2019t\tcall\thim\tthat.\u201d \u201cYou\u2019re\t a\t saint,\t Summer,\u201d\t Ximena\t Chin\t said\t to\t me\t the\t other\t day.\t \u201cI\t couldn\u2019t\t do\t what\t you\u2019re doing.\u201d \u201cIt\u2019s\tnot\ta\tbig\tdeal,\u201d\tI\tanswered\ther\ttruthfully. \u201cDid\tMr.\tTushman\task\tyou\tto\tbe\tfriends\twith\thim?\u201d\tCharlotte\tCody\tasked. \u201cNo.\tI\u2019m\tfriends\twith\thim\tbecause\tI\twant\tto\tbe\tfriends\twith\thim,\u201d\tI\tanswered. Who\t knew\t that\t my\t sitting\t with\t August\t Pullman\t at\t lunch\t would\t be\t such\t a\t big\t deal?\t People acted\tlike\tit\twas\tthe\tstrangest\tthing\tin\tthe\tworld.\tIt\u2019s\tweird\thow\tweird\tkids\tcan\tbe. I\tsat\twith\thim\tthat\tfirst\tday\tbecause\tI\tfelt\tsorry\tfor\thim.\tThat\u2019s\tall.\tHere\the\twas,\tthis\tstrange- looking\t kid\t in\t a\t brand-new\t school.\t No\t one\t was\t talking\t to\t him.\t Everyone\t was\t staring\t at\t him. All\t the\t girls\t at\t my\t table\t were\t whispering\t about\t him.\t He\t wasn\u2019t\t the\t only\t new\t kid\t at\t Beecher Prep,\t but\t he\t was\t the\t only\t one\t everyone\t was\t talking\t about.\t Julian\t had\t nicknamed\t him\t the Zombie\t Kid,\t and\t that\u2019s\t what\t everyone\t was\t calling\t him.\t \u201cDid\t you\t see\t the\t Zombie\t Kid\t yet?\u201d Stuff\tlike\tthat\tgets\taround\tfast.\tAnd\tAugust\tknew\tit.\tIt\u2019s\thard\tenough\tbeing\tthe\tnew\tkid\teven when\tyou\thave\ta\tnormal\tface.\tImagine\thaving\this\tface? So\t I\t just\t went\t over\t and\t sat\t with\t him.\t Not\t a\t biggie.\t I\t wish\t people\t would\t stop\t trying\t to\t turn\t it into\tsomething\tmajor. He\u2019s\tjust\ta\tkid.\tThe\tweirdest-looking\tkid\tI\u2019ve\tever\tseen,\tyes.\tBut\tjust\ta\tkid.","The\tPlague I\tdo\tadmit\tAugust\u2019s\tface\ttakes\tsome\tgetting\tused\tto.\tI\u2019ve\tbeen\tsitting\twith\thim\tfor\ttwo\tweeks now,\tand\tlet\u2019s\tjust\tsay\the\u2019s\tnot\tthe\tneatest\teater\tin\tthe\tworld.\tBut\tother\tthan\tthat,\the\u2019s\tpretty nice.\t I\t should\t also\t say\t that\t I\t don\u2019t\t really\t feel\t sorry\t for\t him\t anymore.\t That\t might\t have\t been what\tmade\tme\tsit\tdown\twith\thim\tthe\tfirst\ttime,\tbut\tit\u2019s\tnot\twhy\tI\tkeep\tsitting\tdown\twith\thim. I\tkeep\tsitting\tdown\twith\thim\tbecause\the\tis\tfun. One\tof\tthe\tthings\tI\u2019m\tnot\tloving\tabout\tthis\tyear\tis\thow\ta\tlot\tof\tthe\tkids\tare\tacting\tlike\tthey\u2019re too\t grown-up\t to\t play\t things\t anymore.\t All\t they\t want\t to\t do\t is\t \u201chang\t out\u201d\t and\t \u201ctalk\u201d\t at\t recess. And\t all\t they\t talk\t about\t now\t is\t who\t likes\t who\t and\t who\t is\t cute\t and\t isn\u2019t\t cute.\t August\t doesn\u2019t bother\tabout\tthat\tstuff.\tHe\tlikes\tto\tplay\tFour\tSquare\tat\trecess,\twhich\tI\tlove\tto\tplay,\ttoo. It\t was\t actually\t because\t I\t was\t playing\t Four\t Square\t with\t August\t that\t I\t found\t out\t about\t the Plague.\t Apparently\t this\t is\t a\t \u201cgame\u201d\t that\u2019s\t been\t going\t on\t since\t the\t beginning\t of\t the\t year. Anyone\t who\t accidentally\t touches\t August\t has\t only\t thirty\t seconds\t to\t wash\t their\t hands\t or\t find hand\tsanitizer\tbefore\tthey\tcatch\tthe\tPlague.\tI\u2019m\tnot\tsure\twhat\thappens\tto\tyou\tif\tyou\tactually catch\tthe\tPlague\tbecause\tnobody\u2019s\ttouched\tAugust\tyet\u2014not\tdirectly. How\t I\t found\t out\t about\t this\t is\t that\t Maya\t Markowitz\t told\t me\t that\t the\t reason\t she\t won\u2019t\t play Four\tSquare\twith\tus\tat\trecess\tis\tthat\tshe\tdoesn\u2019t\twant\tto\tcatch\tthe\tPlague.\tI\twas\tlike,\t\u201cWhat\u2019s the\tPlague?\u201d\tAnd\tshe\ttold\tme.\tI\ttold\tMaya\tI\tthought\tthat\twas\treally\tdumb\tand\tshe\tagreed,\tbut she\tstill\twouldn\u2019t\ttouch\ta\tball\tthat\tAugust\tjust\ttouched,\tnot\tif\tshe\tcould\thelp\tit.","The\tHalloween\tParty I\twas\treally\texcited\tbecause\tI\tgot\tan\tinvitation\tto\tSavanna\u2019s\tHalloween\tparty. Savanna\tis\tprobably\tthe\tmost\tpopular\tgirl\tin\tthe\tschool.\tAll\tthe\tboys\tlike\ther.\tAll\tthe\tgirls\twant to\tbe\tfriends\twith\ther.\tShe\twas\tthe\tfirst\tgirl\tin\tthe\tgrade\tto\tactually\thave\ta\t\u201cboyfriend.\u201d\tIt\twas some\t kid\t who\t goes\t to\t MS\t 281,\t though\t she\t dumped\t him\t and\t started\t dating\t Henry\t Joplin, which\tmakes\tsense\tbecause\tthe\ttwo\tof\tthem\ttotally\tlook\tlike\tteenagers\talready. Anyway,\t even\t though\t I\u2019m\t not\t in\t the\t \u201cpopular\u201d\t group,\t I\t somehow\t got\t invited,\t which\t is\t very cool.\tWhen\tI\ttold\tSavanna\tI\tgot\ther\tinvitation\tand\twould\tbe\tgoing\tto\ther\tparty,\tshe\twas\treally nice\t to\t me,\t though\t she\t made\t sure\t to\t tell\t me\t that\t she\t didn\u2019t\t invite\t a\t lot\t of\t people,\t so\t I shouldn\u2019t\t go\t around\t bragging\t to\t anyone\t that\t I\t got\t invited.\t Maya\t didn\u2019t\t get\t invited,\t for instance.\t Savanna\t also\t made\t sure\t to\t tell\t me\t not\t to\t wear\t a\t costume.\t It\u2019s\t good\t she\t told\t me because,\t of\t course,\t I\t would\t have\t worn\t a\t costume\t to\t a\t Halloween\t party\u2014not\t the\t unicorn costume\tI\tmade\tfor\tthe\tHalloween\tParade,\tbut\tthe\tGoth\tgirl\tgetup\tthat\tI\u2019d\tworn\tto\tschool.\tBut even\t that\t was\t a\t no-no\t for\t Savanna\u2019s\t party.\t The\t only\t negative\t about\t my\t going\t to\t Savanna\u2019s party\t was\t that\t now\t I\t wouldn\u2019t\t be\t able\t to\t go\t the\t parade\t and\t the\t unicorn\t costume\t would\t be wasted.\tThat\twas\tkind\tof\ta\tbummer,\tbut\tokay. \t Anyway,\tthe\tfirst\tthing\tthat\thappened\twhen\tI\tgot\tto\ther\tparty\twas\tthat\tSavanna\tgreeted\tme\tat the\tdoor\tand\tasked:\t\u201cWhere\u2019s\tyour\tboyfriend,\tSummer?\u201d I\tdidn\u2019t\teven\tknow\twhat\tshe\twas\ttalking\tabout. \u201cI\t guess\t he\t doesn\u2019t\t have\t to\t wear\t a\t mask\t at\t Halloween,\t right?\u201d\t she\t added.\t And\t then\t I\t knew she\twas\ttalking\tabout\tAugust. \u201cHe\u2019s\tnot\tmy\tboyfriend,\u201d\tI\tsaid. \t\u201cI\tknow.\tI\u2019m\tjust\tkidding!\u201d\tShe\tkissed\tmy\tcheek\t(all\tthe\tgirls\tin\ther\tgroup\tkissed\teach\tother\u2019s cheeks\tnow\twhenever\tthey\tsaid\thello),\tand\tthrew\tmy\tjacket\ton\ta\tcoatrack\tin\ther\thallway.\tThen she\t took\t me\t by\t the\t hand\t down\t the\t stairs\t to\t her\t basement,\t which\t is\t where\t the\t party\t was.\t I didn\u2019t\tsee\ther\tparents\tanywhere. There\t were\t about\t fifteen\t kids\t there:\t all\t of\t them\t were\t popular\t kids\t from\t either\t Savanna\u2019s group\tor\tJulian\u2019s\tgroup.\tI\tguess\tthey\u2019ve\tall\tkind\tof\tmerged\tinto\tone\tbig\tsupergroup\tof\tpopular kids,\tnow\tthat\tsome\tof\tthem\thave\tstarted\tdating\teach\tother. I\tdidn\u2019t\teven\tknow\tthere\twere\tso\tmany\tcouples.\tI\tmean,\tI\tknew\tabout\tSavanna\tand\tHenry,\tbut Ximena\tand\tMiles?\tAnd\tEllie\tand\tAmos?\tEllie\u2019s\tpractically\tas\tflat\tas\tI\tam. Anyway,\t about\t five\t minutes\t after\t I\t got\t there,\t Henry\t and\t Savanna\t were\t standing\t next\t to\t me, literally\thovering\tover\tme. \u201cSo,\twe\twant\tto\tknow\twhy\tyou\thang\tout\twith\tthe\tZombie\tKid\tso\tmuch,\u201d\tsaid\tHenry. \u201cHe\u2019s\t not\t a\t zombie,\u201d\t I\t laughed,\t like\t they\t were\t making\t a\t joke.\t I\t was\t smiling\t but\t I\t didn\u2019t\t feel like\tsmiling. \u201cYou\t know,\t Summer,\u201d\t said\t Savanna,\t \u201cyou\t would\t be\t a\t lot\t more\t popular\t if\t you\t didn\u2019t\t hang\t out with\t him\t so\t much.\t I\u2019m\t going\t to\t be\t completely\t honest\t with\t you:\t Julian\t likes\t you.\t He\t wants\t to ask\tyou\tout.\u201d \u201cHe\tdoes?\u201d \u201cDo\tyou\tthink\the\u2019s\tcute?\u201d \u201cUm\t\u2026\tyeah,\tI\tguess.\tYeah,\the\u2019s\tcute.\u201d \u201cSo\tyou\thave\tto\tchoose\twho\tyou\twant\tto\thang\tout\twith,\u201d\tSavanna\tsaid.\tShe\twas\ttalking\tto\tme like\t a\t big\t sister\t would\t talk\t to\t a\t little\t sister.\t \u201cEveryone\t likes\t you,\t Summer.\t Everyone\t thinks you\u2019re\treally\tnice\tand\tthat\tyou\u2019re\treally,\treally\tpretty.\tYou\tcould\ttotally\tbe\tpart\tof\tour\tgroup\tif","you\twanted\tto,\tand\tbelieve\tme,\tthere\tare\ta\tlot\tof\tgirls\tin\tour\tgrade\twho\twould\tlove\tthat.\u201d \t \u201cI\tknow.\u201d\tI\tnodded.\t\u201cThank\tyou.\u201d \u201cYou\u2019re\twelcome,\u201d\tshe\tanswered.\t\u201cYou\twant\tme\tto\ttell\tJulian\tto\tcome\tand\ttalk\tto\tyou?\u201d I\tlooked\tover\tto\twhere\tshe\twas\tpointing\tand\tcould\tsee\tJulian\tlooking\tover\tat\tus. \u201cUm,\tI\tactually\tneed\tto\tgo\tto\tthe\tbathroom.\tWhere\tis\tthat?\u201d I\twent\tto\twhere\tshe\tpointed,\tsat\tdown\ton\tthe\tside\tof\tthe\tbathtub,\tand\tcalled\tMom\tand\tasked her\tto\tpick\tme\tup. \u201cIs\teverything\tokay?\u201d\tsaid\tMom. \u201cYeah,\tI\tjust\tdon\u2019t\twant\tto\tstay,\u201d\tI\tsaid. Mom\tdidn\u2019t\task\tany\tmore\tquestions\tand\tsaid\tshe\u2019d\tbe\tthere\tin\tten\tminutes. \u201cDon\u2019t\tring\tthe\tbell,\u201d\tI\ttold\ther.\t\u201cJust\tcall\tme\twhen\tyou\u2019re\toutside.\u201d I\thung\tout\tin\tthe\tbathroom\tuntil\tMom\tcalled,\tand\tthen\tI\tsnuck\tupstairs\twithout\tanyone\tseeing me,\tgot\tmy\tjacket,\tand\twent\toutside. It\twas\tonly\tnine-thirty.\tThe\tHalloween\tParade\twas\tin\tfull\tswing\tdown\tAmesfort\tAvenue.\tHuge crowds\t everywhere.\t Everyone\t was\t in\t costume.\t Skeletons.\t Pirates.\t Princesses.\t Vampires. Superheroes. But\tnot\tone\tunicorn.","November The\t next\t day\t at\t school\t I\t told\t Savanna\t I\t had\t eaten\t some\t really\t bad\t Halloween\t candy\t and gotten\t sick,\t which\t is\t why\t I\t went\t home\t early\t from\t her\t party,\t and\t she\t believed\t me.\t There\t was actually\ta\tstomach\tbug\tgoing\taround,\tso\tit\twas\ta\tgood\tlie. I\t also\t told\t her\t that\t I\t h\t ad\t a\t crush\t on\t someone\t else\t that\t wasn\u2019t\t Julian\t so\t she\t would\t leave\t me alone\t about\t that\t and\t hopefully\t spread\t the\t word\t to\t Julian\t that\t I\t wasn\u2019t\t interested.\t She,\t of course,\twanted\tto\tknow\twho\tI\thad\ta\tcrush\ton,\tand\tI\ttold\ther\tit\twas\ta\tsecret. August\twas\tabsent\t the\tday\t after\tHalloween,\tand\t when\the\t came\tback,\tI\t could\ttell\tsomething was\tup\twith\thim.\tHe\twas\tacting\tso\tweird\tat\tlunch! He\t barely\t said\t a\t word,\t and\t kept\t looking\t down\t at\t his\t food\t when\t I\t talked\t to\t him.\t Like\t he wouldn\u2019t\tlook\tme\tin\tthe\teye. Finally,\tI\twas\tlike,\t\u201cAuggie,\tis\teverything\tokay?\tAre\tyou\tmad\tat\tme\tor\tsomething?\u201d \u201cNo,\u201d\the\tsaid. \u201cSorry\tyou\tweren\u2019t\tfeeling\twell\ton\tHalloween.\tI\tkept\tlooking\tfor\tBoba\tFett\tin\tthe\thallways.\u201d \u201cYeah,\tI\twas\tsick.\u201d \u201cDid\tyou\thave\tthat\tstomach\tbug?\u201d \u201cYeah,\tI\tguess.\u201d He\topened\ta\tbook\tand\tstarted\tto\tread,\twhich\twas\tkind\tof\trude. \u201cI\u2019m\tso\texcited\tabout\tthe\tEgyptian\tMuseum\tproject,\u201d\tI\tsaid.\t\u201cAren\u2019t\tyou?\u201d He\tshook\this\thead,\this\tmouth\tfull\tof\tfood.\tI\tactually\tlooked\taway\tbecause\tbetween\tthe\tway\the was\tchewing,\twhich\talmost\tseemed\tlike\the\twas\tbeing\tgross\ton\tpurpose,\tand\tthe\tway\this\teyes were\tjust\tkind\tof\tclosed\tdown,\tI\twas\tgetting\ta\treally\tbad\tvibe\tfrom\thim. \u201cWhat\tproject\tdid\tyou\tget?\u201d\tI\tasked. He\tshrugged,\tpulled\tout\ta\tlittle\tscrap\tof\tpaper\tfrom\this\tjeans\tpocket,\tand\tflicked\tit\tacross\tthe table\tto\tme. Everyone\tin\tthe\tgrade\tgot\tassigned\tan\tEgyptian\tartifact\tto\twork\ton\tfor\tEgyptian\tMuseum\tDay, which\twas\tin\tDecember.\tThe\tteachers\twrote\tall\tthe\tassignments\tdown\ton\ttiny\tscraps\tof\tpaper, which\tthey\tput\tinto\ta\tfishbowl,\tand\tthen\tall\tus\tkids\tin\tthe\tgrade\ttook\tturns\tpicking\tthe\tpapers out\tof\tthe\tfishbowl\tin\tassembly. So\tI\tunfolded\tAuggie\u2019s\tlittle\tslip\tof\tpaper. \u201cOh,\tcool!\u201d\tI\tsaid,\tmaybe\ta\tlittle\toverexcited\tbecause\tI\twas\ttrying\tto\tget\thim\tpsyched\tup.\t\u201cYou got\tthe\tStep\tPyramid\tof\tSakkara!\u201d \u201cI\tknow!\u201d\the\tsaid. \u201cI\tgot\tAnubis,\tthe\tgod\tof\tthe\tafterlife.\u201d \u201cThe\tone\twith\tthe\tdog\thead?\u201d \u201cIt\u2019s\tactually\ta\tjackal\thead,\u201d\tI\tcorrected\thim.\t\u201cHey,\tyou\twant\tto\tstart\tworking\ton\tour\tprojects together\tafter\tschool?\tYou\tcould\tcome\tover\tto\tmy\thouse.\u201d He\tput\this\tsandwich\tdown\tand\tleaned\tback\tin\this\tchair.\tI\tcan\u2019t\teven\tdescribe\tthe\tlook\the\twas giving\tme. \u201cYou\tknow,\tSummer,\u201d\the\tsaid.\t\u201cYou\tdon\u2019t\thave\tto\tdo\tthis.\u201d \u201cWhat\tare\tyou\ttalking\tabout?\u201d","\u201cYou\tdon\u2019t\thave\tto\tbe\tfriends\twith\tme.\tI\tknow\tMr.\tTushman\ttalked\tto\tyou.\u201d \u201cI\thave\tno\tidea\twhat\tyou\u2019re\ttalking\tabout.\u201d \u201cYou\t don\u2019t\t have\t to\t pretend,\t is\t all\t I\u2019m\t saying.\t I\t know\t Mr.\t Tushman\t talked\t to\t some\t kids\t before school\tstarted\tand\ttold\tthem\tthey\thad\tto\tbe\tfriends\twith\tme.\u201d \u201cHe\tdid\tnot\ttalk\tto\tme,\tAugust.\u201d \u201cYeah,\the\tdid.\u201d \u201cNo,\the\tdid\tnot.\u201d \u201cYeah,\the\tdid.\u201d \u201cNo\t he\t didn\u2019t!!\t I\t swear\t on\t my\t life!\u201d\t I\t put\t my\t hands\t up\t in\t the\t air\t so\t he\t could\t see\t I\t wasn\u2019t crossing\t my\t fingers.\t He\t immediately\t looked\t down\t at\t my\t feet,\t so\t I\t shook\t off\t my\t UGGs\t so\t he could\tsee\tmy\ttoes\tweren\u2019t\tcrossed. \u201cYou\u2019re\twearing\ttights,\u201d\the\tsaid\taccusingly. \u201cYou\tcan\tsee\tmy\ttoes\tare\tflat!\u201d\tI\tyelled. \u201cOkay,\tyou\tdon\u2019t\thave\tto\tscream.\u201d \u201cI\tdon\u2019t\tlike\tbeing\taccused\tof\tthings,\tokay?\u201d \u201cOkay.\tI\u2019m\tsorry.\u201d \u201cYou\tshould\tbe.\u201d \u201cHe\treally\tdidn\u2019t\ttalk\tto\tyou?\u201d \u201cAuggie!\u201d \u201cOkay,\tokay,\tI\u2019m\treally\tsorry.\u201d I\t would\t have\t stayed\t mad\t at\t him\t longer,\t but\t then\t he\t told\t me\t about\t something\t bad\t that\t had happened\t to\t him\t on\t Halloween\t and\t I\t couldn\u2019t\t stay\t mad\t at\t him\t anymore.\t Basically,\t he\t heard Jack\tbad-mouthing\thim\tand\tsaying\treally\thorrible\tthings\tbehind\this\tback.\tIt\tkind\tof\texplained his\tattitude,\tand\tnow\tI\tknew\twhy\the\u2019d\tbeen\tout\t\u201csick.\u201d \u201cPromise\tyou\twon\u2019t\ttell\tanyone,\u201d\the\tsaid. \u201cI\twon\u2019t.\u201d\tI\tnodded.\t\u201cPromise\tyou\twon\u2019t\tever\tbe\tmean\tlike\tthat\tto\tme\tagain?\u201d \u201cPromise,\u201d\the\tsaid,\tand\twe\tpinky\tswore.","Warning:\tThis\tKid\tIs\tRated\tR I\t had\t warned\t Mom\t about\t August\u2019s\t face.\t I\t had\t described\t what\t he\t looked\t like.\t I\t did\t this because\tI\tknow\tshe\u2019s\tnot\talways\tso\tgood\tat\tfaking\ther\tfeelings,\tand\tAu\tgust\twas\tcoming\tover for\t the\t first\t time\t today.\t I\t even\t sent\t her\t a\t text\t at\t work\t to\t remind\t her\t about\t it.\t But\t I\t could\t tell from\t the\t expression\t on\t her\t face\t when\t she\t came\t home\t after\t work\t that\t I\t hadn\u2019t\t prepared\t her enough.\tShe\twas\tshocked\twhen\tshe\tcame\tthrough\tthe\tdoor\tand\tsaw\this\tface\tfor\tthe\tfirst\ttime. \u201cHi,\tMom,\tthis\tis\tAuggie.\tCan\the\tstay\tfor\tdinner?\u201d\tI\tasked\tquickly. It\ttook\ta\tsecond\tfor\tmy\tquestion\tto\teven\tregister. \u201cHi,\tAuggie,\u201d\tshe\tsaid.\t\u201cUm,\tof\tcourse,\tsweetheart.\tIf\tit\u2019s\tokay\twith\tAuggie\u2019s\tmother.\u201d While\t Auggie\t called\t his\t mother\t on\t his\t cell\t phone,\t I\t whispered\t to\t Mom:\t \u201cStop\t making\t that weirded-out\t face!\u201d\t She\t had\t that\t look\t like\t when\t she\u2019s\t watching\t the\t news\t and\t some\t horrific event\thas\thappened.\tShe\tnodded\tquickly,\tlike\tshe\thadn\u2019t\trealized\tshe\twas\tmaking\ta\tface,\tand was\treally\tnice\tand\tnormal\tto\tAuggie\tafterward. After\t a\t while,\t Auggie\t and\t I\t got\t tired\t of\t working\t on\t our\t projects\t and\t went\t to\t hang\t out\t in\t the living\troom.\tAuggie\twas\tlooking\tat\tthe\tpictures\ton\tthe\tmantel,\tand\the\tsaw\ta\tpicture\tof\tme\tand Daddy. \u201cIs\tthat\tyour\tdad?\u201d\the\tsaid. \u201cYeah.\u201d \u201cI\tdidn\u2019t\tknow\tyou\twere\t\u2026\twhat\u2019s\tthe\tword?\u201d \u201cBiracial.\u201d \u201cRight!\tThat\u2019s\tthe\tword.\u201d \u201cYeah.\u201d He\tlooked\tat\tthe\tpicture\tagain. \u201cAre\tyour\tparents\tdivorced?\tI\u2019ve\tnever\tseen\thim\tat\tdrop-off\tor\tanything.\u201d \u201cOh,\tno,\u201d\tI\tsaid.\t\u201cHe\twas\ta\tplatoon\tsergeant.\tHe\tdied\ta\tfew\tyears\tago.\u201d \u201cWhoa!\tI\tdidn\u2019t\tknow\tthat.\u201d \u201cYeah.\u201d\tI\tnodded,\thanding\thim\ta\tpicture\tof\tmy\tdad\tin\this\tuniform. \u201cWow,\tlook\tat\tall\tthose\tmedals.\u201d \u201cYeah.\tHe\twas\tpretty\tawesome.\u201d \u201cWow,\tSummer.\tI\u2019m\tsorry.\u201d \u201cYeah,\tit\tsucks.\tI\treally\tmiss\thim\ta\tlot.\u201d \u201cYeah,\twow.\u201d\tHe\tnodded,\thanding\tme\tback\tthe\tpicture. \u201cHave\tyou\tever\tknown\tanyone\twho\tdied?\u201d\tI\tasked. \u201cJust\tmy\tgrandmother,\tand\tI\tdon\u2019t\treally\teven\tremember\ther.\u201d \u201cThat\u2019s\ttoo\tbad.\u201d Auggie\tnodded. \u201cYou\tever\twonder\twhat\thappens\tto\tpeople\twhen\tthey\tdie?\u201d\tI\tasked. He\tshrugged.\t\u201cNot\treally.\tI\tmean,\tI\tguess\tthey\tgo\tto\theaven?\tThat\u2019s\twhere\tmy\tGrans\twent.\u201d","\u201cI\tthink\tabout\tit\ta\tlot,\u201d\tI\tsaid.\t\u201cI\tthink\twhen\tpeople\tdie,\ttheir\tsouls\tgo\tto\theaven\tbut\tjust\tfor\ta little\twhile.\tLike\tthat\u2019s\twhere\tthey\tsee\ttheir\told\tfriends\tand\tstuff,\tand\tkind\tof\tcatch\tup\ton\told times.\tBut\tthen\tI\tactually\tthink\tthe\tsouls\tstart\tthinking\tabout\ttheir\tlives\ton\tearth,\tlike\tif\tthey were\t good\t or\t bad\t or\t whatever.\t And\t then\t they\t get\t born\t again\t as\t brand-new\t babies\t in\t the world.\u201d \u201cWhy\twould\tthey\twant\tto\tdo\tthat?\u201d \u201cBecause\tthen\tthey\tget\tanother\tchance\tto\tget\tit\tright,\u201d\tI\tanswered.\t\u201cTheir\tsouls\tget\ta\tchance to\thave\ta\tdo-over.\u201d He\t thought\t about\t what\t I\t was\t saying\t and\t then\t nodded.\t \u201cKind\t of\t like\t when\t you\t get\t a\t makeup test,\u201d\the\tsaid. \u201cRight.\u201d \u201cBut\tthey\tdon\u2019t\tcome\tback\tlooking\tthe\tsame,\u201d\the\tsaid.\t\u201cI\tmean,\tthey\tlook\tcompletely\tdifferent when\tthey\tcome\tback,\tright?\u201d \u201cOh\tyeah,\u201d\tI\tanswered.\t\u201cYour\tsoul\tstays\tthe\tsame\tbut\teverything\telse\tis\tdifferent.\u201d \u201cI\t like\t that,\u201d\t he\t said,\t nodding\t a\t lot.\t \u201cI\t really\t like\t that,\t Summer.\t That\t means\t in\t my\t next\t life\t I won\u2019t\tbe\tstuck\twith\tthis\tface.\u201d He\tpointed\tto\this\tface\twhen\the\tsaid\tthat\tand\tbatted\this\teyes,\twhich\tmade\tme\tlaugh. \u201cI\tguess\tnot.\u201d\tI\tshrugged. \u201cHey,\tI\tmight\teven\tbe\thandsome!\u201d\the\tsaid,\tsmiling.\t\u201cThat\twould\tbe\tso\tawesome,\twouldn\u2019t\tit?\tI could\tcome\tback\tand\tbe\tthis\tgood-looking\tdude\tand\tbe\tsuper\tbuff\tand\tsuper\ttall.\u201d I\t laughed\t again.\t He\t was\t such\t a\t good\t sport\t about\t himself.\t That\u2019s\t one\t of\t the\t things\t I\t like\t the most\tabout\tAuggie. \u201cHey,\tAuggie,\tcan\tI\task\tyou\ta\tquestion?\u201d \u201cYeah,\u201d\the\tsaid,\tlike\the\tknew\texactly\twhat\tI\twanted\tto\task. I\thesitated.\tI\u2019ve\tbeen\twanting\tto\task\thim\tthis\tfor\ta\twhile\tbut\tI\u2019ve\talways\tlost\tthe\tguts\tto\task. \u201cWhat?\u201d\the\tsaid.\t\u201cYou\twant\tto\tknow\twhat\u2019s\twrong\twith\tmy\tface?\u201d \u201cYeah,\tI\tguess.\tIf\tit\u2019s\tokay\tfor\tme\tto\task.\u201d He\tshrugged.\tI\twas\tso\trelieved\tthat\the\tdidn\u2019t\tseem\tmad\tor\tsad. \u201cYeah,\tit\u2019s\tno\tbig\tdeal,\u201d\the\tsaid\tcasually.\t\u201cThe\tmain\tthing\tI\thave\tis\tthis\tthing\tcalled\tman-di-bu- lo-facial\tdys-os-tosis\u2014which\ttook\tme\tforever\tto\tlearn\thow\tto\tpronounce,\tby\tthe\tway.\tBut\tI\talso have\t this\t other\t syndrome\t thing\t that\t I\t can\u2019t\t even\t pronounce.\t And\t these\t things\t kind\t of\t just morphed\ttogether\tinto\tone\tbig\tsuperthing,\twhich\tis\tso\trare\tthey\tdon\u2019t\teven\thave\ta\tname\tfor\tit. I\tmean,\tI\tdon\u2019t\twant\tto\tbrag\tor\tanything,\tbut\tI\u2019m\tactually\tconsidered\tsomething\tof\ta\tmedical won\tder,\tyou\tknow.\u201d He\tsmiled. \u201cThat\twas\ta\tjoke,\u201d\the\tsaid.\t\u201cYou\tcan\tlaugh.\u201d I\tsmiled\tand\tshook\tmy\thead. \u201cYou\u2019re\tfunny,\tAuggie.\u201d\tI\tsaid. \u201cYes,\tI\tam,\u201d\the\tsaid\tproudly.\t\u201cI\tam\tcool\tbeans.\u201d","The\tEgyptian\tTomb Over\t the\t next\t month,\t August\t and\t I\t hung\t out\t a\t lot\t after\t school,\t either\t at\t his\t house\t or\t my house.\t August\u2019s\t parents\t even\t invited\t Mom\t and\t me\t over\t for\t dinner\t a\t couple\t of\t times.\t I overheard\tthem\ttalking\tabout\tfixing\tMom\tup\ton\ta\tblind\tdate\twith\tAugust\u2019s\tuncle\tBen. On\t the\t day\t of\t the\t Egyptian\t Museum\t exhibit,\t we\t were\t all\t really\t excited\t and\t kind\t of\t giddy.\t It had\t snowed\t the\t day\t before\u2014not\t as\t much\t as\t it\t had\t snowed\t over\t the\t Thanksgiving\t break,\t but still,\tsnow\tis\tsnow. The\t gym\t was\t turned\t into\t a\t giant\t museum,\t with\t everyone\u2019s\t Egyptian\t artifact\t displayed\t on\t a table\twith\ta\tlittle\tcaption\tcard\texplaining\twhat\tthe\tthing\twas.\tMost\tof\tthe\tartifacts\twere\treally great,\tbut\tI\thave\tto\tsay\tI\treally\tthink\tmine\tand\tAugust\u2019s\twere\tthe\tbest.\tMy\tsculpture\tof\tAnubis looked\t pretty\t real,\t and\t I\t had\t even\t used\t real\t gold\t paint\t on\t it.\t And\t August\t had\t made\t his\t step pyramid\tout\tof\tsugar\tcubes.\tIt\twas\ttwo\tfeet\thigh\tand\ttwo\tfeet\tlong,\tand\the\thad\tspray\tpainted the\tcubes\twith\tthis\tkind\tof\tfake-sand\tpaint\tor\tsomething.\tIt\tlooked\tso\tawesome. We\t all\t dressed\t up\t in\t Egyptian\t costumes.\t Some\t of\t the\t kids\t were\t Indiana\t Jones\u2013type archaeologists.\t Some\t of\t them\t dressed\t up\t like\t pharaohs.\t August\t and\t I\t dressed\t up\t like mummies.\t Our\t faces\t were\t covered\t except\t for\t two\t little\t holes\t for\t the\t eyes\t and\t one\t little\t hole for\tthe\tmouth. When\t the\t parents\t showed\t up,\t they\t all\t lined\t up\t in\t the\t hallway\t in\t front\t of\t the\t gym.\t Then\t we were\t told\t we\t could\t go\t get\t our\t parents,\t and\t each\t kid\t got\t to\t take\t his\t or\t her\t parent\t on\t a flashlight\t tour\t through\t the\t dark\t gym.\t August\t and\t I\t took\t our\t moms\t around\t together.\t We stopped\t at\t each\t exhibit,\t explaining\t what\t it\t was,\t talking\t in\t whispers,\t answering\t questions. Since\t it\t was\t dark,\t we\t used\t our\t flashlights\t to\t illuminate\t the\t artifacts\t while\t we\t were\t talking. Sometimes,\tfor\tdramatic\teffect,\twe\twould\thold\tthe\tflashlights\tunder\tour\tchins\twhile\twe\twere explaining\t something\t in\t detail.\t It\t was\t so\t much\t fun,\t hearing\t all\t these\t whispers\t in\t the\t dark, seeing\tall\tthe\tlights\tzigzagging\taround\tthe\tdark\troom. At\tone\tpoint,\tI\twent\tover\tto\tget\ta\tdrink\tat\tthe\twater\tfountain.\tI\thad\tto\ttake\tthe\tmummy\twrap off\tmy\tface. \u201cHey,\t Summer,\u201d\t said\t Jack,\t who\t came\t over\t to\t talk\t to\t me.\t He\t was\t dressed\t like\t the\t man\t from The\tMummy.\t\u201cCool\tcostume.\u201d \u201cThanks.\u201d \u201cIs\tthe\tother\tmummy\tAugust?\u201d \u201cYeah.\u201d \u201cUm\t\u2026\they,\tdo\tyou\tknow\twhy\tAugust\tis\tmad\tat\tme?\u201d \u201cUh-huh.\u201d\tI\tnodded. \u201cCan\tyou\ttell\tme?\u201d \u201cNo.\u201d He\tnodded.\tHe\tseemed\tbummed. \u201cI\ttold\thim\tI\twouldn\u2019t\ttell\tyou,\u201d\tI\texplained. \u201cIt\u2019s\tso\tweird,\u201d\the\tsaid.\t\u201cI\thave\tno\tidea\twhy\the\u2019s\tmad\tat\tme\tall\tof\ta\tsudden.\tNone.\tCan\u2019t\tyou at\tleast\tgive\tme\ta\thint?\u201d I\t looked\t over\t at\t where\t August\t was\t across\t the\t room,\t talking\t to\t our\t moms.\t I\t wasn\u2019t\t about\t to break\t my\t solid\t oath\t that\t I\t wouldn\u2019t\t tell\t anyone\t about\t what\t he\t overheard\t at\t Halloween,\t but\t I felt\tbad\tfor\tJack. \u201cBleeding\tScream,\u201d\tI\twhispered\tin\this\tear,\tand\tthen\twalked\taway.","Now\there\tis\tmy\tsecret.\tIt\tis\tvery\tsimple. It\tis\tonly\twith\tone\u2019s\theart\tthat\tone\tcan\tsee\tclearly. What\tis\tessential\tis\tinvisible\tto\tthe\teye. \u2014Antoine\tde\tSaint-Exup\u00e9ry,\tThe\tLittle\tPrince","The\tCall So\t in\t August\t my\t parents\t got\t this\t call\t from\t Mr.\t Tushman,\t the\t middle-school\t director.\t And\t my Mom\tsaid:\t\u201cMaybe\the\tcalls\tall\tthe\tnew\tstudents\tto\twelcome\tthem,\u201d\tand\tmy\tdad\tsaid:\t\u201cThat\u2019s\ta lot\t of\t kids\t he\u2019d\t be\t calling.\u201d\t So\t my\t mom\t called\t him\t back,\t and\t I\t could\t hear\t her\t talking\t to\t Mr. Tushman\ton\tthe\tphone.\tThis\tis\texactly\twhat\tshe\tsaid: \u201cOh,\thi,\tMr.\tTushman.\tThis\tis\tAmanda\tWill,\treturning\tyour\tcall?\tPause.\tOh,\tthank\tyou!\tThat\u2019s so\t nice\t of\t you\t to\t say.\t He\t is\t looking\t forward\t to\t it.\t Pause.\t Yes.\t Pause.\t Yeah.\t Pause.\t Oh.\t Sure. Long\tpause.\tOhhh.\tUh-huh.\tPause.\tWell,\t that\u2019s\tso\t nice\tof\t you\tto\t say.\t Pause.\tSure.\tOhh.\tWow. Ohhhh.\tSuper\tlong\tpause.\tI\tsee,\tof\tcourse.\tI\u2019m\tsure\the\twill.\tLet\tme\twrite\tit\tdown\t\u2026\tgot\tit.\tI\u2019ll call\tyou\tafter\tI\u2019ve\thad\ta\tchance\tto\ttalk\tto\thim,\tokay?\tPause.\tNo,\tthank\tyou\tfor\tthinking\tof\thim. Bye\tbye!\u201d And\twhen\tshe\thung\tup,\tI\twas\tlike,\t\u201cwhat\u2019s\tup,\twhat\tdid\the\tsay?\u201d And\t Mom\t said:\t \u201cWell,\t it\u2019s\t actually\t very\t flattering\t but\t kind\t of\t sad,\t too.\t See,\t there\u2019s\t this\t boy who\u2019s\t starting\t middle\t school\t this\t year,\t and\t he\u2019s\t never\t been\t in\t a\t real\t school\t environment before\t because\t he\t was\t homeschooled,\t so\t Mr.\t Tushman\t talked\t to\t some\t of\t the\t lower-school teachers\t to\t find\t out\t who\t they\t thought\t were\t some\t of\t the\t really,\t really\t great\t kids\t coming\t into fifth\t grade,\t and\t the\t teachers\t must\t have\t told\t him\t you\t were\t an\t especially\t nice\t kid\u2014which\t I already\tknew,\tof\tcourse\u2014and\tso\tMr.\tTushman\tis\twondering\tif\the\tcould\tcount\ton\tyou\tto\tsort\tof shepherd\tthis\tnew\tboy\taround\ta\tbit?\u201d \u201cLike\tlet\thim\thang\tout\twith\tme?\u201d\tI\tsaid. \u201cExactly,\u201d\tsaid\tMom.\t\u201cHe\tcalled\tit\tbeing\ta\t\u2018welcome\tbuddy.\u2019\t\u201d \u201cBut\twhy\tme?\u201d \u201cI\t told\t you.\t Your\t teachers\t told\t Mr.\t Tushman\t that\t you\t were\t the\t kind\t of\t kid\t who\u2019s\t known\t for being\ta\tgood\tegg.\tI\tmean,\tI\u2019m\tso\tproud\tthat\tthey\tthink\tso\thighly\tof\tyou.\u2026\u201d \u201cWhy\tis\tit\tsad?\u201d \u201cWhat\tdo\tyou\tmean?\u201d \u201cYou\tsaid\tit\u2019s\tflattering\tbut\tkind\tof\tsad,\ttoo.\u201d \u201cOh.\u201d\t Mom\t nodded.\t \u201cWell,\t apparently\t \t this\t boy\t has\t some\t sort\t of\t \u2026\t um,\t I\t guess\t there\u2019s something\t wrong\t with\t his\t face\t \u2026\t or\t something\t like\t that.\t Not\t sure.\t Maybe\t he\t was\t in\t an accident.\tMr.\tTushman\tsaid\the\u2019d\texplain\ta\tbit\tmore\twhen\tyou\tcome\tto\tthe\tschool\tnext\tweek.\u201d \u201cSchool\tdoesn\u2019t\tstart\ttill\tSeptember!\u201d \u201cHe\twants\tyou\tto\tmeet\tthis\tkid\tbefore\tschool\tstarts.\u201d \u201cDo\tI\thave\tto?\u201d Mom\tlooked\ta\tbit\tsurprised. \u201cWell,\tno,\tof\tcourse\tnot,\u201d\tshe\tsaid,\t\u201cbut\tit\twould\tbe\tthe\tnice\tthing\tto\tdo,\tJack.\u201d \u201cIf\tI\tdon\u2019t\thave\tto\tdo\tit,\u201d\tI\tsaid,\t\u201cI\tdon\u2019t\twant\tto\tdo\tit.\u201d \u201cCan\tyou\tat\tleast\tthink\tabout\tit?\u201d \u201cI\u2019m\tthinking\tabout\tit\tand\tI\tdon\u2019t\twant\tto\tdo\tit.\u201d \u201cWell,\tI\u2019m\tnot\tgoing\tto\tforce\tyou,\u201d\tshe\tsaid,\t\u201cbut\tat\tleast\tthink\tabout\tit\tsome\tmore,\tokay?\tI\u2019m not\t calling\t Mr.\t Tushman\t back\t until\t tomorrow,\t so\t just\t sit\t with\t it\t a\t bit.\t I\t mean,\t Jack,\t I\t really don\u2019t\tthink\tit\u2019s\tthat\tmuch\tto\task\tthat\tyou\tspend\ta\tlittle\textra\ttime\twith\tsome\tnew\tkid.\u2026\u201d \u201cIt\u2019s\tnot\tjust\tthat\the\u2019s\ta\tnew\tkid,\tMom,\u201d\tI\tanswered.\t\u201cHe\u2019s\tdeformed.\u201d \u201cThat\u2019s\ta\tterrible\tthing\tto\tsay,\tJack.\u201d","\u201cHe\tis,\tMom.\u201d \u201cYou\tdon\u2019t\teven\tknow\twho\tit\tis!\u201d \u201cYeah,\tI\tdo,\u201d\tI\tsaid,\tbecause\tI\tknew\tthe\tsecond\tshe\tstarted\ttalking\tabout\thim\tthat\tit\twas\tthat kid\tnamed\tAugust.","Carvel I\tremember\tseeing\thim\tfor\tthe\tfirst\ttime\tin\tfront\tof\tthe\tCarvel\ton\tAmesfort\tAvenue\twhen\tI\twas about\tfive\tor\tsix.\tMe\tand\tVeronica,\tmy\tbabysitter,\twere\tsitting\ton\tthe\tbench\toutside\tthe\tstore with\t Jamie,\t my\t baby\t brother,\t who\t was\t sitting\t in\t his\t stroller\t facing\t us.\t I\t guess\t I\t was\t busy eating\tmy\tice\tcream\tcone,\tbecause\tI\tdidn\u2019t\teven\tnotice\tthe\tpeople\twho\tsat\tdown\tnext\tto\tus. Then\t at\t one\t point\t I\t turned\t my\t head\t to\t suck\t the\t ice\t cream\t out\t of\t the\t bottom\t of\t my\t cone,\t and that\u2019s\t when\t I\t saw\t him:\t August.\t He\t was\t sitting\t right\t next\t to\t me.\t I\t know\t it\t wasn\u2019t\t cool,\t but\t I kind\tof\twent\t\u201cUhh!\u201d\twhen\tI\tsaw\thim\tbecause\tI\thonestly\tgot\tscared.\tI\tthought\the\twas\twearing a\t zombie\t mask\t or\t something.\t It\t was\t the\t kind\t of\t \u201cuhh\u201d\t you\t say\t when\t you\u2019re\t watching\t a\t scary movie\tand\tthe\tbad\tguy\tlike\tjumps\tout\tof\tthe\tbushes.\tAnyway,\tI\tknow\tit\twasn\u2019t\tnice\tof\tme\tto\tdo that,\tand\tthough\tthe\tkid\tdidn\u2019t\thear\tme,\tI\tknow\this\tsister\tdid. \u201cJack!\t We\t have\t to\t go!\u201d\t said\t Veronica.\t She\t had\t gotten\t up\t and\t was\t turning\t the\t stroller\t around because\t Jamie,\t who\t had\t obviously\t just\t noticed\t the\t kid,\t too,\t was\t about\t to\t say\t something embarrassing.\t So\t I\t jumped\t up\t kind\t of\t suddenly,\t like\t a\t bee\t had\t landed\t on\t me,\t and\t followed Veronica\tas\tshe\tzoomed\taway.\tI\tcould\thear\tthe\tkid\u2019s\tmom\tsaying\tsoftly\tbehind\tus:\t\u201cOkay,\tguys, I\tthink\tit\u2019s\ttime\tto\tgo,\u201d\tand\tI\tturned\taround\tto\tlook\tat\tthem\tone\tmore\ttime.\tThe\tkid\twas\tlicking his\tice\tcream\tcone,\tthe\tmom\twas\tpicking\tup\this\tscooter,\tand\tthe\tsister\twas\tglaring\tat\tme\tlike she\twas\tgoing\tto\tkill\tme.\tI\tlooked\taway\tquickly. \u201cVeronica,\twhat\twas\twrong\twith\tthat\tkid?\u201d\tI\twhispered. \u201cHush,\t boy!\u201d\t she\t said,\t her\t voice\t angry.\t I\t love\t Veronica,\t but\t when\t she\t got\t mad,\t she\t got\t mad. Meanwhile,\t Jamie\t was\t practically\t spilling\t out\t of\t his\t stroller\t trying\t to\t get\t another\t look\t as Veronica\t\tpushed\thim\taway. \u201cBut,\tVonica\t\u2026,\u201d\tsaid\tJamie. \u201cYou\tboys\twere\tvery\tnaughty!\tVery\tnaughty!\u201d\tsaid\tVeronica\tas\tsoon\tas\twe\twere\tfarther\tdown the\tblock.\t\u201cStaring\tlike\tthat!\u201d \u201cI\tdidn\u2019t\tmean\tto!\u201d\tI\tsaid. \u201cVonica,\u201d\tsaid\tJamie. \u201cUs\t leaving\t like\t that,\u201d\t Veronica\t was\t muttering.\t \u201cOh\t Lord,\t th\t at\t poor\t lady.\t I\t tell\t you,\t boys. Every\tday\twe\tshould\tthank\tthe\tLord\tfor\tour\tblessings,\tyou\thear\tme?\u201d \u201cVonica!\u201d \u201cWhat\tis\tit,\tJamie?\u201d \u201cIs\tit\tHalloween?\u201d \u201cNo,\tJamie.\u201d \u201cThen\twhy\twas\tthat\tboy\twearing\ta\tmask?\u201d Veronica\tdidn\u2019t\tanswer.\tSometimes,\twhen\tshe\twas\tmad\tabout\tsomething,\tshe\twould\tdo\tthat. \u201cHe\twasn\u2019t\twearing\ta\tmask,\u201d\tI\texplained\tto\tJamie. \u201cHush,\tJack!\u201d\tsaid\tVeronica. \u201cWhy\tare\tyou\tso\tmad,\tVeronica?\u201d\tI\tcouldn\u2019t\thelp\tasking. I\tthought\tthis\twould\tmake\ther\tangrier,\tbut\tactually\tshe\tshook\ther\thead. \u201cIt\twas\tbad\thow\twe\tdid\tthat,\u201d\tshe\tsaid.\t\u201cJust\tgetting\tup\tlike\tthat,\tlike\twe\u2019d\tjust\tseen\tthe\tdevil. I\t was\t scared\t for\t what\t Jamie\t was\t going\t to\t say,\t you\t know?\t I\t didn\u2019t\t want\t him\t to\t say\t anything that\twould\thurt\tthat\tlittle\tboy\u2019s\tfeelings.\tBut\tit\twas\tvery\tbad,\tus\tleaving\tlike\tthat.\tThe\tmomma knew\twhat\twas\tgoing\ton.\u201d \u201cBut\twe\tdidn\u2019t\tmean\tit,\u201d\tI\tanswered.","\u201cJack,\tsometimes\tyou\tdon\u2019t\thave\tto\tmean\tto\thurt\tsomeone\tto\thurt\tsomeone.\tYou\tunderstand?\u201d That\t was\t the\t first\t time\t I\t ever\t saw\t August\t in\t the\t neighborhood,\t at\t least\t that\t I\t remember.\t But I\u2019ve\tseen\thim\taround\tever\tsince\tthen:\ta\tcouple\tof\ttimes\tin\tthe\tplayground,\ta\tfew\ttimes\tin\tthe park.\t He\t used\t to\t wear\t an\t astronaut\t helmet\t sometimes.\t But\t I\t always\t knew\t it\t was\t him underneath\tthe\thelmet.\tAll\tthe\tkids\tin\tthe\tneighborhood\tknew\tit\twas\thim.\tEveryone\thas\tseen August\tat\tsome\tpoint\tor\tanother.\tWe\tall\tknow\this\tname,\tthough\the\tdoesn\u2019t\tknow\tours. And\twhenever\tI\u2019ve\tseen\thim,\tI\ttry\tto\tremember\twhat\tVeronica\tsaid.\tBut\tit\u2019s\thard.\tIt\u2019s\thard\tnot to\tsneak\ta\tsecond\tlook.\tIt\u2019s\thard\tto\tact\tnormal\twhen\tyou\tsee\thim.","Why\tI\tChanged\tMy\tMind \u201cWho\telse\tdid\tMr.\tTushman\tcall?\u201d\tI\tasked\tMom\tlater\tthat\tnight.\t\u201cDid\the\ttell\tyou?\u201d \u201cHe\tmentioned\tJulian\tand\tCharlotte.\u201d \u201cJulian!\u201d\tI\tsaid.\t\u201cUgh.\tWhy\tJulian?\u201d \u201cYou\tused\tto\tbe\tfriends\twith\tJulian!\u201d \u201cMom,\t that\t was\t like\t in\t kindergarten.\t Julian\u2019s\t the\t biggest\t phony\t there\t is.\t And\t he\u2019s\t trying\t so hard\tto\tbe\tpopular\tall\tthe\ttime.\u201d \u201cWell,\u201d\tsaid\tMom,\t\u201cat\tleast\tJulian\tagreed\tto\thelp\tthis\tkid\tout.\tGot\tto\tgive\thim\tcredit\tfor\tthat.\u201d I\tdidn\u2019t\tsay\tanything\tbecause\tshe\twas\tright. \u201cWhat\tabout\tCharlotte?\u201d\tI\tasked.\t\u201cIs\tshe\tdoing\tit,\ttoo?\u201d \u201cYes,\u201d\tMom\tsaid. \u201cOf\tcourse\tshe\tis.\tCharlotte\u2019s\tsuch\ta\tGoody\tTwo-Shoes,\u201d\tI\tanswered. \u201cBoy,\tJack,\u201d\tsaid\tMom,\t\u201cyou\tseem\tto\thave\ta\tproblem\twith\teverybody\tthese\tdays.\u201d \u201cIt\u2019s\tjust\t\u2026,\u201d\tI\tstarted.\t\u201cMom,\tyou\thave\tno\tidea\twhat\tthis\tkid\tlooks\tlike.\u201d \u201cI\tcan\timagine.\u201d \u201cNo!\tYou\tcan\u2019t!\tYou\u2019ve\tnever\tseen\thim.\tI\thave.\u201d \u201cIt\tmight\tnot\teven\tbe\twho\tyou\u2019re\tthinking\tit\tis.\u201d \u201cTrust\tme,\tit\tis.\tAnd\tI\u2019m\ttelling\tyou,\tit\u2019s\treally,\treally\tbad.\tHe\u2019s\tdeformed,\tMom.\tHis\teyes\tare like\tdown\there.\u201d\tI\tpointed\tto\tmy\tcheeks.\t\u201cAnd\the\thas\tno\tears.\tAnd\this\tmouth\tis\tlike\t\u2026\u201d Jamie\thad\twalked\tinto\tthe\tkitchen\tto\tget\ta\tjuice\tbox\tfrom\tthe\tfridge. \u201cAsk\t Jamie,\u201d\t I\t said.\t \u201cRight,\t Jamie?\t Remember\t that\t kid\t we\t saw\t in\t the\t park\t after\t school\t last year?\tThe\tkid\tnamed\tAugust?\tThe\tone\twith\tthe\tface?\u201d \u201cOh,\t that\t kid?\u201d\t said\t Jamie,\t his\t eyes\t opening\t wide.\t \u201cHe\t gave\t me\t a\t nightma\t re!!\t Remember, Mommy?\tThat\tnightmare\tabout\tthe\tzombies\tfrom\tlast\tyear?\u201d \u201cI\tthought\tthat\twas\tfrom\twatching\ta\tscary\tmovie!\u201d\tanswered\tMom. \u201cNo!\u201d\t said\t Jamie,\t \u201cit\t was\t from\t seeing\t that\t kid!\t When\t I\t saw\t him,\t I\t was\t like,\t \u2018Ahhh!\u2019\t and\t I\t ran away.\u2026\u201d \u201cWait\ta\tminute,\u201d\tsaid\tMom,\tgetting\tserious.\t\u201cDid\tyou\tdo\tthat\tin\tfront\tof\thim?\u201d \u201cI\tcouldn\u2019t\thelp\tit!\u201d\tsaid\tJamie,\tkind\tof\twhining. \u201cOf\tcourse\tyou\tcould\thelp\tit!\u201d\tMom\tscolded.\t\u201cGuys,\tI\thave\tto\ttell\tyou,\tI\u2019m\treally\tdisappointed by\twhat\tI\u2019m\thearing\there.\u201d\tAnd\tshe\tlooked\tlike\thow\tshe\tsounded.\t\u201cI\tmean,\thonestly,\the\u2019s\tjust a\t little\t boy\u2014just\t like\t you!\t Can\t you\t imagine\t how\t he\t felt\t to\t see\t you\t running\t away\t from\t him, Jamie,\tscreaming?\u201d \u201cIt\t wasn\u2019t\t a\t scream,\u201d\t argued\t Jamie.\t \u201cIt\t was\t like\t an\t \u2018Ahhh!\u2019\t \u201d\t He\t put\t his\t hands\t on\t his\t cheeks and\tstarted\trunning\taround\tthe\tkitchen. \u201cCome\t on,\t Jamie!\u201d\t said\t Mom\t angrily.\t \u201cI\t honestly\t thought\t both\t my\t boys\t were\t more sympathetic\tthan\tthat.\u201d \u201cWhat\u2019s\tsympathetic?\u201d\tsaid\tJamie,\twho\twas\tonly\tgoing\tinto\tthe\tsecond\tgrade.","\u201cYou\tknow\texactly\twhat\tI\tmean\tby\tsympathetic,\tJamie,\u201d\tsaid\tMom. \u201cIt\u2019s\tjust\the\u2019s\tso\tugly,\tMommy,\u201d\tsaid\tJamie. \u201cHey!\u201d\t Mom\t yelled,\t \u201cI\t don\u2019t\t like\t that\t word!\t Jamie,\t just\t get\t your\t juice\t box.\t I\t want\t to\t talk\t to Jack\talone\tfor\ta\tsecond.\u201d \u201cLook,\t Jack,\u201d\t said\t Mom\t as\t soon\t as\t he\t left,\t and\t I\t knew\t she\t was\t about\t to\t give\t me\t a\t whole speech. \u201cOkay,\tI\u2019ll\tdo\tit,\u201d\tI\tsaid,\twhich\tcompletely\tshocked\ther. \u201cYou\twill?\u201d \u201cYes!\u201d \u201cSo\tI\tcan\tcall\tMr.\tTushman?\u201d \u201cYes!\tMom,\tyes,\tI\tsaid\tyes!\u201d Mom\t smiled.\t \u201cI\t knew\t you\u2019d\t rise\t to\t the\t occasion,\t kiddo.\t Good\t for\t you.\t I\u2019m\t proud\t of\t you, Jackie.\u201d\tShe\tmessed\tup\tmy\thair. So\there\u2019s\twhy\tI\tchanged\tmy\tmind.\tIt\twasn\u2019t\tso\tI\twouldn\u2019t\thave\tto\thear\tMom\tgive\tme\ta\twhole lecture.\tAnd\tit\twasn\u2019t\tto\tprotect\tthis\tAugust\tkid\tfrom\tJulian,\twho\tI\tknew\twould\tbe\ta\tjerk\tabout the\twhole\tthing.\tIt\twas\tbecause\twhen\tI\theard\tJamie\ttalking\tabout\thow\the\thad\trun\taway\tfrom August\tgoing\t\u2018Ahhh,\u2019\tI\tsuddenly\tfelt\treally\tbad.\tThe\tthing\tis,\tthere\tare\talways\tgoing\tto\tbe\tkids like\tJulian\twho\tare\tjerks.\tBut\tif\ta\tlittle\tkid\tlike\tJamie,\twho\u2019s\tusually\ta\tnice\tenough\tkid,\tcan\tbe that\tmean,\tthen\ta\tkid\tlike\tAugust\tdoesn\u2019t\tstand\ta\tchance\tin\tmiddle\tschool.","Four\tThings First\t of\t all,\t you\t do\t get\t used\t to\t his\t face.\t The\t first\t couple\t of\t times\t I\t was\t like,\t whoa,\t I\u2019m\t never going\tto\tget\tused\tto\tthis.\tAnd\tthen,\tafter\tabout\ta\tweek,\tI\twas\tlike,\thuh,\tit\u2019s\tnot\tso\tbad. Second\tof\tall,\the\u2019s\tactually\ta\treally\tcool\tdude.\tI\tmean,\the\u2019s\tpretty\tfunny.\tLike,\tthe\tteacher\twill say\t something\t and\t August\t will\t whisper\t something\t funny\t to\t me\t that\t no\t one\t else\t hears\t and totally\t make\t me\t crack\t up.\t He\u2019s\t also\t just,\t overall,\t a\t nice\t kid.\t Like,\t he\u2019s\t easy\t to\t hang\t out\t with and\ttalk\tto\tand\tstuff. Third\t of\t all,\t he\u2019s\t really\t smart.\t I\t thought\t he\u2019d\t be\t behind\t everyone\t because\t he\t hadn\u2019t\t gone\t to school\t before.\t But\t in\t most\t things\t he\u2019s\t way\t ahead\t of\t me.\t I\t mean,\t maybe\t not\t as\t smart\t as Charlotte\tor\tXimena,\tbut\the\u2019s\tup\tthere.\tAnd\tunlike\tCharlotte\tor\tXimena,\the\tlets\tme\tcheat\toff of\t him\t if\t I\t really\t need\t to\t (though\t I\u2019ve\t only\t needed\t to\t a\t couple\t of\t times).\t He\t also\t let\t me\t copy his\thomework\tonce,\tthough\twe\tboth\tgot\tin\ttrouble\tfor\tit\tafter\tclass. \u201cThe\t two\t of\t you\t got\t the\t exact\t same\t answers\t wrong\t on\t yesterday\u2019s\t homework,\u201d\t Ms.\t Rubin said,\tlooking\tat\tboth\tof\tus\tlike\tshe\twas\twaiting\tfor\tan\texplanation.\tI\tdidn\u2019t\tknow\twhat\tto\tsay, because\tthe\texplanation\twould\thave\tbeen:\tOh,\tthat\u2019s\tbecause\tI\tcopied\tAugust\u2019s\thomework. But\t August\t lied\t to\t protect\t me.\t He\t was\t like,\t \u201cOh,\t that\u2019s\t because\t we\t did\t our\t homework together\tlast\tnight,\u201d\twhich\twasn\u2019t\ttrue\tat\tall. \u201cWell,\tdoing\thomework\ttogether\tis\ta\tgood\tthing,\u201d\tMs.\tRubin\tanswered,\t\u201cbut\tyou\u2019re\tsupposed to\t still\t do\t it\t separately,\t okay?\t You\t could\t work\t side\t by\t side\t if\t you\t want,\t but\t you\t can\u2019t\t actually do\tyour\thomework\ttogether,\tokay?\tGot\tit?\u201d \t After\t we\t left\t the\t classroom,\t I\t said:\t \u201cDude,\t thanks\t for\t doing\t that.\u201d\t And\t he\t was\t like,\t \u201cNo problem.\u201d That\twas\tcool. Fourthly,\t now\t that\t I\t know\t him,\t I\t would\t say\t I\t actually\t do\t want\t to\t be\t friends\t with\t August.\t At first,\tI\tadmit\tit,\tI\twas\tonly\tfriendly\tto\thim\tbecause\tMr.\tTushman\tasked\tme\tto\tbe\tespecially\tnice and\t all\t that.\t But\t now\t I\t would\t choose\t to\t hang\t out\t with\t him.\t He\t laughs\t at\t all\t my\t jokes.\t And\t I kind\tof\tfeel\tlike\tI\tcan\ttell\tAugust\tanything.\tLike\the\u2019s\ta\tgood\tfriend.\tLike,\tif\tall\tthe\tguys\tin\tthe fifth\tgrade\twere\tlined\tup\tagainst\ta\twall\tand\tI\tgot\tto\tchoose\tanyone\tI\twanted\tto\thang\tout\twith, I\twould\tchoose\tAugust.","Ex-Friends Bleeding\t Scream?\t What\t the\t heck?\t Summer\t Dawson\t has\t always\t been\t a\t bit\t out\t there,\t but\t this was\t too\t much.\t All\t I\t did\t was\t ask\t her\t why\t August\t was\t acting\t like\t he\t was\t mad\t at\t me\t or something.\t I\t figured\t she\t would\t know.\t And\t all\t she\t said\t was\t \u201cBleeding\t Scream\u201d?\t I\t don\u2019t\t even know\twhat\tthat\tmeans. It\u2019s\tso\tweird\tbecause\tone\tday,\tme\tand\tAugust\twere\tfriends.\tAnd\tthe\tnext\tday,\twhoosh,\the\twas hardly\t talking\t to\t me.\t And\t I\t haven\u2019t\t the\t slightest\t idea\t why.\t When\t I\t said\t to\t him,\t \u201cHey,\t August, you\t mad\t at\t me\t or\t something?\u201d\t he\t shrugged\t and\t walked\t away.\t So\t I\t would\t take\t that\t as\t a definite\t yes.\t And\t since\t I\t know\t for\t a\t fact\t that\t I\t didn\u2019t\t do\t anything\t to\t him\t to\t be\t mad\t about,\t I figured\tSummer\tcould\ttell\tme\twhat\u2019s\tup.\tBut\tall\tI\tgot\tfrom\ther\twas\t\u201cBleeding\tScream\u201d?\tYeah, big\thelp.\tThanks,\tSummer. You\tknow,\tI\u2019ve\tgot\tplenty\tof\tother\tfriends\tin\tschool.\tSo\tif\tAugust\twants\tto\tofficially\tbe\tmy\tex- friend,\tthen\tfine,\tthat\tis\tokay\tby\tme,\tsee\tif\tI\tcare.\tI\u2019ve\tstarted\tignoring\thim\tlike\the\u2019s\tignoring me\t in\t school\t now.\t This\t is\t actually\t kind\t of\t hard\t since\t we\t sit\t next\t to\t each\t other\t in\t practically every\tclass. Other\t kids\t have\t noticed\t and\t have\t started\t asking\t if\t me\t and\t August\t have\t had\t a\t fight.\t Nobody asks\t August\t what\u2019s\t going\t on.\t Hardly\t anyone\t ever\t talks\t to\t him,\t anyway.\t I\t mean,\t the\t only person\t he\t hangs\t out\t with,\t other\t than\t me,\t is\t Summer.\t Sometimes\t he\t hangs\t out\t with\t Reid Kingsley\t a\t little\t bit,\t and\t the\t two\t Maxes\t got\t him\t playing\t Dungeons\t &\t Dragons\t a\t couple\t of times\tat\trecess.\tCharlotte,\tfor\tall\ther\tGoody\tTwo-Shoeing,\tdoesn\u2019t\tever\tdo\tmore\tthan\tnod\thello when\tshe\u2019s\tpassing\thim\tin\tthe\thallway.\tAnd\tI\tdon\u2019t\tknow\tif\teveryone\u2019s\tstill\tplaying\tthe\tPlague behind\this\tback,\tbecause\tno\tone\tever\treally\ttold\tme\tabout\tit\tdirectly,\tbut\tmy\tpoint\tis\tthat\tit\u2019s not\tlike\the\thas\ta\twhole\tlot\tof\tother\tfriends\the\tcould\tbe\thanging\tout\twith\tinstead\tof\tme.\tIf\the wants\tto\tdis\tme,\the\u2019s\tthe\tone\twho\tloses\u2014not\tme. So\tthis\tis\thow\tthings\tare\tbetween\tus\tnow.\tWe\tonly\ttalk\tto\teach\tother\tabout\tschool\tstuff\tif\twe absolutely\t have\t to.\t Like,\t I\u2019ll\t say,\t \u201cWhat\t did\t Rubin\t say\t the\t homework\t was?\u201d\t and\t he\u2019ll\t answer. Or\the\u2019ll\tbe\tlike,\t\u201cCan\tI\tuse\tyour\tpencil\tsharpener?\u201d\tand\tI\u2019ll\tget\tmy\tsharpener\tout\tof\tmy\tpencil case\tfor\thim.\tBut\tas\tsoon\tas\tthe\tbell\trings,\twe\tgo\tour\tseparate\tways. Why\t this\t is\t good\t is\t because\t I\t get\t to\t hang\t out\t with\t a\t lot\t more\t kids\t now.\t Before,\t when\t I\t was hanging\t out\t with\t August\t all\t the\t time,\t kids\t weren\u2019t\t hanging\t out\t with\t me\t because\t they\u2019d\t have to\t hang\t out\t with\t him.\t Or\t they\t would\t keep\t things\t from\t me,\t like\t the\t whole\t thing\t about\t the Plague.\tI\tthink\tI\twas\tthe\tonly\tone\twho\twasn\u2019t\tin\ton\tit,\texcept\tfor\tSummer\tand\tmaybe\tthe\tD&D crowd.\tAnd\tthe\ttruth\tis,\tthough\tnobody\u2019s\tthat\tobvious\tabout\tit:\tnobody\twants\tto\thang\tout\twith him.\tEveryone\u2019s\tway\ttoo\thung\tup\ton\tbeing\tin\tthe\tpopular\tgroup,\tand\the\u2019s\tjust\tas\tfar\tfrom\tthe popular\tgroup\tas\tyou\tcan\tget.\tBut\tnow\tI\tcan\thang\tout\twith\tanyone\tI\twant.\tIf\tI\twanted\tto\tbe\tin the\tpopular\tgroup,\tI\tcould\ttotally\tbe\tin\tthe\tpopular\tgroup. Why\tthis\tis\tbad\tis\tbecause,\twell,\t(a)\tI\tdon\u2019t\tactually\tenjoy\thanging\tout\twith\tthe\tpopular\tgroup that\tmuch.\tAnd\t(b)\tI\tactually\tliked\thanging\tout\twith\tAugust. So\tthis\tis\tkind\tof\tmessed\tup.\tAnd\tit\u2019s\tall\tAugust\u2019s\tfault."]
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