Deep Insight Magazine.

Positivity Pledge I pledge to honor and appreci- ate all fathers, celebrating their love, strength, and guidance. So, help me God

Contents 6 Becoming a father 8 One less lonely child 10 Mr Tapfumaneyi 12 Superman 14 Becoming a God-fearing man 16 The heart of a father 18 Masculinity, Feminism 20 Mister Supranational Zimbabwe 24 Embracing masculinity 26 My father in law 27 The sceptre of masculinity 28 7 beginner friendly hairstyles 32 Writers’ Spotlight 33 Book Recommendations 35 Dear dad 36 Letter to all men 38 Dear soul, you’ve got it 40 Dear men, you’ve got this 42 Dear men, you matter too 44 Letter to my ex

Editor’s Note

“Doctor Ropfa” or privileged I am to have sekuru that” all the way. At simply Doctor is grown when the intensity some point, mama and I what he normally calls of his strictness has decided to leave him. We me. Yes, Ropfa (smiles) lessened with age. Baba walked a bit further and not Ropa. He’s got his is indeed a man of prayer; sat somewhere, waiting unique way of calling my the genesis of our journey for him. And guess what, name and I love it that in Christ was shaped by we waited and waited till way. I am yet to bag a his constant cultivation of we decided to call him. doctorate and yet he’s our spiritual lives. And for (chuckling). He is indeed already addressing me as that, we’re truly grateful. friendly and sekuru to one. I marvel at such faith everyone. and affirmation. That’s my When my father sits with There are so many stories father for you. you, he takes time to listen I can tell you about my and advice properly. He father and I am sure you A few days ago my has mastered the ability too have anecdotes about sisters and I were having to listen and speak into your fathers. May we interesting conversations the ears listening to him. always celebrate them, about our family. We were What a man! During his whether biological or not. laughing, reminiscing night shifts at work, we To all the specific men about the yesteryears. would engage in deep that play pivotal roles in “So what do you love conversations about life my growth, I celebrate you about dad?” I asked. At issues. I’m grateful for greatly. A special mention this point, we were talking such priceless moments. to Mr. Tapfumaneyi who’s about our father, God’s gift And I believe that’s when I gracing our cover this to us. became a night owl. month. Thank you sir for the insights. “Baba is loving and caring. “Mercy is just like dad. Our deepest gratitude to Back then he was a no- Everywhere she goes, our beloved writers who nonsense man. Very strict. everyone there will end up birthed insights addressed He is caring, friendly and knowing her. That’s what to all men as we celebrate so good at socializing. baba does too,” my little fathers. Peruse them and You cannot regret every sister threw in a comment. share your thoughts with moment you spend with us, thank you! him. He is a prayer warrior I laughed as I recalled With love and a good advisor. That a recent scenario when Millicent R. Sibanda man is my hero,” one of I visited our parents. my sisters said. As I was leaving they too decided to go back I smiled knowingly. home with me. We had Growing up, I always many stops on our way heard about how strictly to the bus stop. It was strict he was and how “Sekuru (grandpa) this,

BECOMING A FATHER By Terence Zizhou When there’s change our life’s meaning changes also and I must say this new chapter in my life has made me find something special that makes me feel alive. What is it like being a father? To sum it up in one word, “Overwhelming.” Certain perceptions come with fatherhood, that, if you don’t follow through on them you’re deemed a failure. So many responsibilities and expectations come with the title. Everyone expects you to execute fatherhood with perfection and these pressures that are piled up on fathers often tend to create stressful environments whereby we have to juggle work, being a provider and family life—spending quality time with the family. Most fathers become emotionally absent when they prioritize attaining material things over their 6 Deep Insight Magazine

children. The dilemma scariest moment ever. a few things, some are in having to put food You never know what great attributes but from on the table and having to expect, a twinge of some I’ve learnt what enough time to cater for worry ran through my not to do. Each day that the emotional needs of veins as I was restless comes is a privilege as I the family. At the end doing all sorts of get to spend it with my of the day they avoid researches on what to boy, learning new things emotional conversations do or how to handle about him. I embrace all with their children certain situations the hardships and joy and do not allow for a should they arise. I was that come with being a safe space for them to frantic with worry. father, I wouldn’t trade it discuss feelings. for anything. My son has The first time I saw my redefined my existence, I personally experienced son my heart smiled, how I handle myself, this in my childhood, so tiny yet his presence certain situations and my father was and filled the entire room. life in general. still is one of the most A cry broke out from hardworking people his lips and the echo With fatherhood it’s I’ve ever met but we of the piercing sound normal to have doubts, never got the time hung in the air. I was mixed emotions and nor an environment dumbfounded, tears fears but that’s the that facilitated certain glistened in my eyes but beauty of it all. It’s not a conversations. It was I had to hold them back. fantasy that comes with like, “Hey son are you I was overwhelmed perfection. Becoming sad? Here’s some with joy and fear of the a father changed me money go and do or buy unknown. Am I going to but it’s a change I’ll whatever cheers you surpass expectations welcome any day. up.” But we were cool or be a great dad or a like that, I didn’t mind as good role model to him? To my boy, just so you long as I was getting all I pondered to myself as know, when you read these treats I was living I held him in my arms this someday, when I’m my best life. It wasn’t for the first time with the barely breathing, when until I was a young adult hope that this was the I’m drowning in my own though that I realized onset of a strong bond sorrows, when I’m not the impact of the distant and healthy relationship somebody that I believe love we shared with my between the two of us. in, when darkness has father. engulfed my existence, All my life I’ve declared it only takes one look at I vividly remember the that I’m going to be a your smile for me to see day my son was born, great dad. Seeing other the light. it was the happiest yet fathers I’ve picked up Deep Insight Magazine 7

ONE LESS LONELY CHILD By Rutendo E. Mafemba This is advice based he becomes a father. Yes, provided, was strong and on my observation fathers are expected to was a burden bearer but of my relationship be providers, to be strong he was never present be- with my father. In my lan- and to be burden bearers cause he was working, he guage I would say, “Regai too but this is often at the was unemotionally vulne- ndikurumei nzeve.” cost of not being present, rable and understanding emotionally vulnerable or because he was taught The expectations put on balanced. The things they that expressing any sort you oftentimes prohi- are told to do in order to of emotion is weakness bit you from eventually be regarded as a man are which left him unable to administering your true the very things that can connect with his children purpose [in equality] when hinder them from being a on an emotional level or if you become fathers. father. thinking that he was rai- Let me explain that. Men sing weaklings. are expected to be pro- These are two different viders, to be strong and roles and most people Some drug addicts, wo- [financial] burden bearers. suffer because they were manisers and depressed That sounds like what raised by a man that wa- people were made to be truly defines a man until sn’t a father. This man so because they are trying 8 Deep Insight Magazine

to fill a hole and have a re- with His Father because I don’t know what it’s like lationship with something He knew His Father would to be a man or a father. that “speaks back” and understand. What a Fa- I will never know. I will “understands them” or ther! This Son knew that never know what societal even numbs the pain al- everything that He was pressure does to you or together because a man was because of His Fa- having to bear the pain out there was unable to ther. He did exploits, spre- of feeling like you cannot play his role well. If a ne- ad His Father’s fame with provide for your family. I gative relationship with a so much boldness, leaving will never know what it’s child can cause so much a legacy that cannot be like to be forbidden to toxicity and paralysis in a outrun and was all about feel sad, to cry or to pro- child’s life, what more of a His Daddy’s business. All fess that things are hard. positive relationship? because the Father was That’s a burden I would worth it. It’s clear that the never pray on anyone. But I know of a story—it’s Fatherly nature had a di- I do know the effect of a true—of a boy born of a rect impact on everything. relationship that’s stan- God which made Him a This God was a Father ding on an imbalanced God too. I’ve never heard first before He was God man’s shoulders and a of a father-child relation- to His Son. If this wasn’t longing child. I’m living it. ship like this. The boy was important He would never always talking about His have revealed Himself as I long for a day when Fa- Father wherever He went. Father to His Son and His ther’s Day will be a day If the opportunity wasn’t creation. truly worth celebrating for given to Him He’d crea- every father. But we will te it. He did everything You’re a father first before always celebrate you be- in His power to establish you’re a doctor, a busines- cause there is one less lo- His Father’s Kingdom. sman, a chef, a gardener, nely child, you are present His Father was well plea- a pastor, etc. Prioritising and it’s always a blessing sed with Him. These two your family, your chil- to have somewhere to were so one that this Son dren will not disqualify start from. could be vulnerable with you from your job but it His Father. As powerful will add more meaning to To all Dads, we celebrate as He was seeing that He everything that you put you. too was a God, He still felt your hands on. okay being vulnerable in His moments of weakness Deep Insight Magazine 9

Unveiling the Power of Artificial Intelligence with Mr Tapfumanei by Kelvin T. Tsoka In today’s rapidly ad- some insights on what AI has found its way vancing world, the Artificial intelligence concept of artificial encompasses. It deals into numerous indus- intelligence (AI) has with a broad range of tries, transforming the gained remarkable at- technologies and meth- way we live and work. tention. AI refers to the odologies that enable In healthcare, AI has development of intelli- machines to perceive, been integrated into gent computer systems reason, learn, and make diagnostic tools, assist- capable of performing decisions. It involves ing doctors in detecting tasks that typically re- mimicking human cogni- diseases with greater quire human intelli- tive processes, such as accuracy. It has also gence. This conversa- problem-solving, pattern contributed to advance- tion with Mr Tapfumanei recognition, and lan- ments in drug discov- aims to explore what guage understanding. AI ery and personalized AI is, where it has been systems are designed to medicine. In finance, AI integrated, the possi- adapt, improve, and per- algorithms analyze vast bilities it holds, and the form tasks with minimal amounts of data to iden- challenges it presents. human intervention. tify patterns and make Mr Tapfumanei gave us predictions, enhancing fraud detection and Integration of AI: 10 Deep Insight Magazine

investment strategies. Challenges of AI: voice to the character Mr Transportation is another While the potential of AI Tapfumanei. AI has also sector benefiting from is remarkable, it is not been seen participating AI, with the development without its challenges. in church, preaching to of self-driving cars and One of the prominent a group of people. One optimization of logistics concerns is the ethi- would wonder will AI operations. AI has even cal aspect of AI. As AI replace humans. Could made its mark in the systems become more AI take the place of Hu- entertainment industry, autonomous, questions man connection? The powering recommenda- arise about accounta- challenges surrounding tion systems that sug- bility, transparency, and AI, such as ethical con- gest personalized con- decision-making pro- siderations, bias, and tent to users. cesses. Bias in AI algo- job displacement, must Possibilities of AI: rithms is another critical be addressed to ensure The possibilities that challenge, as it can per- responsible and benefi- AI brings forth are ex- petuate discrimination cial implementation. As tensive and profound. and reinforce existing we navigate the exciting Improved efficiency and inequalities. Additional- frontier of AI, a thought- productivity are one of ly, there are concerns ful and inclusive ap- the key benefits of AI in- regarding data privacy proach will be essential tegration. Automation of and security, as AI relies to harness its full poten- repetitive and mundane heavily on vast amounts tial for the betterment of tasks frees up human of personal data. Job society. resources for more com- displacement due to au- Every single major com- plex and creative en- tomation is also a signif- pany will also have AI deavors. AI also holds icant concern, requiring factories and you will the potential to provide thoughtful approaches to build and produce your personalized experienc- reskilling and workforce company’s intelligence. - es, tailoring services and adaptation. Jensen Huang (NVIDIA’s products to individual CEO at 2023 Computex preferences and needs. At first glance you may in Taiwan) In the field of healthcare, think Mr Tapfumanei is AI can contribute to ear- a real Human who was Deep Insight Magazine 11 ly disease detection, interviewed but this was precision medicine, and an image generated by more effective treatment Adobe Firefly of a man plans. Scientific research in his 40s. The para- is also greatly acceler- graphs you have been ated through AI-driven reading before this one data analysis and simu- have been written using lations. chatGPT which gave a

Superman? By Temwani S. Daka In my experience, the upbringing is not uncommon greatest disservice we where I am from and one can do for the male being is only imagine the values, or raising him with the belief rather the lack thereof that he is a supernatural that this would instil being, without the need in a young boy in his for normal human feelings formative years…I and an inflated desire to be would not see it as respected. This upbringing separation of duties, might even transform itself rather, I would view into expectations that one such chores as might even have from their something sons, brothers, fathers or unbefitting lovers…however as amazing a a man person the man (men) in your and I life is, remember, we are not would superman, we are just human, huff specifically, a man. and puff I grew up in a family that had the more female children than males hence I was often the only boy in the house, although not the only boy in the family. I rarely was expected to do chores that were culturally deemed as “feminine”, for instance cooking, cleaning and the general upkeep of the household. Such an 12 Deep Insight Magazine

times when I would be to emote was a result as this strengthens the asked to care for such of growing up in an bond of your relationship. household chores. environment in which Furthermore, if there is Worse still, I believe men, rather, boys were one being you ought to many men actually not expected to show be comfortable to show believe this and end up emotional feelings such your emotional side, it domineering over their as affection or being is those with whom you siblings, spouses or even loving, which again were are romantically involved their families because feelings which were with. This not only helps they believe that helping associated with girls them understand you out around the house is and women. Hell, even better as a being, it also beneath them. However, crying was frowned upon helps them know that it is not weakness to help as a boy, something as like anybody else, you out in an environment ordinary and human! This are prone to feeling hurt, where you live, neither obviously makes many a scared, disappointed and will it make you less boy grow up unconscious that you enjoy being loved deserving of respect. If of the need to display as well. anything, it shows that affection towards his you are caring and most family, which of course At the end of the day, it likely will increase the makes it harder to exhibit is not only up to those amount of respect you displays of affection in a around us to help us gain in your family. As romantic environment. see the importance of your children watch you changing the incorrect as a man help out around Some of my brothers traits we have developed the house, they will likely have a difficult time even as men, it also calls on be more willing to help out talking or spending time some introspection, to as well, and their opinion with their significant come to the realization of what it means to be a others, likely because they that we need not to follow man may not be warped believe it is not a manly the current. The idea of by misconstrued societal trait to spend too much what man is or isn’t, does norms. time on the phone or to not necessarily need to spend too much time be what we saw in our Societal norms really have with their lovers. Others upbringing, it can be a pushed men into fitting find it difficult to express learned example from into a mould that may not their vulnerabilities, or a neighbour, a friend, necessarily be helpful or share their innermost an uncle. It might be healthy to themselves or thoughts and feelings for from a relationship, or the relationships around fear that their lovers will through prayer, if you them. Many a time, in my think less of them or even are spiritually inclined. earlier romantic ventures, fail to respect them as Whatever the case may I would often be told a boyfriend or husband. be, contrary to popular that it is like I don’t have However, if there is one belief, you are not a feelings, which would being whom you should superman, you are a stem from an incorrect be spending time with, be human, specifically, a display of masculinity. I it in communication or man. assert that this inability physically, it is your lover Deep Insight Magazine 13

BECOMING In today’s modern age, navigating A GOD-FEARING the challenges of masculinity and MAN addressing personal struggles can be a daunting task for young men. By Tanaka Chigomba Incorporating God’s word into this journey is a crucial aspect of growth. 14 Deep Insight Magazine In almost every conversation I hear about men, I noticed that man strug- gle to find a standpoint between their sexual urge and the word of God. I once read a book titled ‘Sex is not the problem (lust Is)’—it helped me to understand this subject and in this article are some of the key points that I learnt. To embark on the journey of becom-

ing a God-fearing man, it engaging in fellowship with significant challenge for is essential to grasp the other believers can pro- individuals struggling with concept of godly mas- vide valuable support and sexual addictions. Practic- culinity. The world often accountability on this jour- ing accountability in media portrays masculinity as ney. Overcoming sexual consumption is essential. dominance, aggression, addictions requires open- Installing content filtering and promiscuity, but the ness and vulnerability. It software, setting bounda- Bible gives a different is crucial to find a trusted ries on internet usage, and perspective. True mascu- accountability partner or being mindful of the media linity, according to God’s join a support group where consumed can help guard design, embodies qualities one can share struggles, against triggers and main- such as strength, honour, receive guidance, and find tain purity of heart and integrity, humility, com- encouragement. These mind. passion, and self-control. individuals or groups can Addressing the topic of provide a safe space for sexual addictions is an im- discussing challenges, Becoming a God-fearing portant step toward growth seeking advice, and re- man in this age requires and spiritual development. minding each other of dedication, self-reflection, Many young men today God’s grace and forgive- and an unwavering com- face the challenge of nav- ness. mitment to align one’s igating a hyper-sexualized life with God’s teachings. culture that glorifies instant Transforming one’s mind Overcoming sex addic- gratification and objecti- is a critical aspect of over- tion as a Christian young fication. Recognizing the coming sexual addictions. man is undoubtedly chal- struggle and acknowledg- Romans 12:2 encourages lenging, but it is not insur- ing the need for change is believers to not be con- mountable. By cultivating vital to overcoming sexual formed to this world, but a strong relationship with addictions and becoming be transformed by the God, seeking support and a God-fearing man. renewing of your mind. accountability, renewing This transformation in- the mind, and being inten- Developing a close rela- volves replacing negative tional about media con- tionship with God is the thought patterns, harmful sumption, it is possible to foundation for transform- influences, and destruc- overcome sex addiction ing one’s life and overcom- tive behaviours with God’s and embrace godly mas- ing any addiction. Through truth. Regular meditation culinity. Remember, God’s prayer, Bible study, and on Scripture, affirmations grace is sufficient, and attending church, Christian of faith, and avoiding trig- through Him, true transfor- young men can cultivate a gering environments can mation is possible. deeper understanding of contribute to the renewal God’s will and purpose for of the mind. In the digital their lives. Seeking guid- age, the accessibility of ance from mentors and explicit content poses a Deep Insight Magazine 15

THE HEART OF A FATHER By Ropafadzo K. Banda Everyone feels so lives because they are mentor, counsellor, leader, safe when their fa- the foundation so having teacher, helper, provider, ther is around. This one in your life is a huge motivator, the list is end- is so because they are blessing especially when less. As I mentioned ear- considered as superhe- he is stepping up. I know lier on, children feel safe roes. I can relate to this to some it might be hard and secure when they too; when I was young if to comprehend because have their fathers around. anyone did me wrong, I theirs never showed up A father must spend qual- would run straight to my for them or they’re gone, ity time with his children dad and report my case. bless their memories. For because he is their best With his hoarse voice, these reasons and many teacher. He is s strong he would say, “Aah aa others, some have never support system. To be aah what’s happening experienced fatherly love. here?” and all the kids Fortunately, we have a honest, would run away. I would Father who’s the father feel safe because I knew to the fatherless. He’s I had a strong backup. there for everyone…be- It’s in every child’s mind fore I get in deep let’s that their dad is a hero expound on the impor- who can fight everyone tance of fathers, why we and win. This in turn need them and why they boosts their confidence, should fulfill their responsi- garnering them superiority bilities. amongst their peers. To A father is a male figure all fathers, you’re the best! who’s a role model for How I wish you would their children, helping know how much we love them to reinforce good you as your children. I morals and behaviours believe you shall all see thus enabling them to your importance through grow in every area of this article as a token of their lives. A father is a appreciation. Fathers are friend, encourager, trainer, a need not a want in our 16 Deep Insight Magazine

from my perspective, fa- weather conditions. My we have a great father thers are not as stingy as heart bleeds because in heaven—GOD— mothers who tend to work they still manage to put who loves you, protects with budgets. I’m sure on a smile but behind that you, and provides for some of you can relate smile there’s pain. The you when no one can. to this. I remember when majority are putting on Everything you need is in I was in boarding school a mask. Sad. To make Him, seek Him and you I would buy as much as matters worse, some of will find Him with all your I wanted for my tuck if I them have children who heart as the bible says in was with my dad but with have resorted to drugs the book of Romans. my mom, it was a differ- and stealing just so they A father is a father no ent story. She would write can buy drugs. To some matter what, even if he’s a tuck list and strictly extent, these behaviours old he is your father, even prohibited me from going can be attributed to the if he is disabled he is still off budget, anything extra absence of father figures. your father, even if he is would be removed. Good Although some fathers poor he is still your father, old times! (laughs) have departed from earth, even if he abandoned you there is a need for non-bi- he is still your father. As My salutation ological fathers to step in a child play your role by goes to all even if they’re relatives or respecting him, loving him not. Therefore, if you’re and helping him. Make a single moth- a man and you have a call, pay a visit, send him ers who family that you have never flowers, show him that he are rais- shown responsibility, it’s is important. And to all ing their high time you do the need fathers, the best thing you chil- and play your role as a can do for your children dren, father. I know it might be is to love their mother. Let hard but forgive yourself them know what love is stand- and take every step of from you first. ing in change, bonding with “Every day is a Father’s the gap your kids, and spending Day and a Mother’s Day, for the ab- time with your family. And don’t wait for a calendar sent fathers. It’s to those who are yet to to remind you about it. not easy out there yet be fathers, do take some Let’s all be responsible as they toil and make sure time to acquire knowledge their children by honour- there’s food on the table. about fatherhood from ing them; God used them I have seen some women those who have gone as vessels for if there struggling to sell their before you, read books were not here, you and I merchandise in harsh and watch movies. To my wouldn’t be here.” brothers and sisters who have lost their fathers, Deep Insight Magazine 17 whoever has taken it upon themselves to fill that role deserves respect and honour. Above all,

MASCULINITY, FEMINISM and the Great Rise in Men’s Mental Illness by Victor Jingo 18 Deep Insight Magazine

Men’s mental Men are often expected masculine norms and health has been to be strong, stoic, and promote healthy behav- a topic of in- unemotional, which can iors and attitudes for creasing concern in make it difficult for them men. This might involve recent years, as more to express their feelings advocating for increased people begin to recog- or seek help when need- emotional expression, nize the unique chal- ed. In some cases, men promoting positive body lenges and pressures may feel like they have image and self-esteem, facing men in today’s to suppress their emo- or challenging gender world. In particular, the tions entirely in order stereotypes. rise of feminism and so- to fit in with the cultural - Practice self-care: Men cietal expectations has norms around masculin- need to prioritize their created a complex set of ity. own mental health and expectations that can be So what can be done to well-being, just like any- difficult for men to nav- support men’s mental one else. This might in- igate, leading to issues health in this complex volve taking time to relax with mental health and environment? Here are a and recharge, engaging well-being. few ideas: in activities that promote On the one hand, femi- - Encourage open com- positive mental health, or nist ideals have brought munication: One of the seeking out professional many positive changes most important things support when needed. to society, particularly in we can do is to create At the end of the day, terms of gender equali- a space where men men’s mental health is a ty and confronting toxic feel comfortable talking complex and multifacet- masculinity. However, about their feelings. This ed issue. By promoting the pressure to live up to might involve creating open communication, these ideals can be in- men’s support groups, challenging harmful tense for men, who may promoting therapy and norms, and prioritiz- be unsure about how to counseling services, or ing self-care, we can reconcile their own de- simply being more open help men navigate the sires and behaviors with and empathetic when challenges of living in a the expectations of oth- men share their strug- world full of feminist and ers. gles. societal expectations. Similarly, societal ex- - Challenge toxic mas- pectations around what culinity: It’s important Deep Insight Magazine 19 it means to be a man to confront the harmful can also contribute to aspects of traditional mental health concerns.

One on One with MR SUPRANATIONAL ZIMBABWE 20 Deep Insight Magazine

Our interviewer, Brit- ney-Yvette Chiyoko, the reigning Miss Charity Intercontinental Zim- babwe 2023; charity organi- sation visionary, Vicfalls Artz Festival and Miss Leap Year pageant founder had an inter- esting interview with Tatenda Njanike who is the current Mister Supranational Zimba- bwe 2023 and will be repre- senting Zimbabwe at Mister Supranational in Poland on the 15th of July. He is also the former Mister Zimbabwe Peo- ple’s Choice 2020, a commer- cial and fashion runway model pursuing a career in data sci- ence and digital content crea- tion. Mr Njanike is passionate about deploying his God-given gifts to present and promote both small and market leading brands to the global economy in creative ways. He happens to be an MC, a model coach and a consultant for Jacaran- da Culture & Media Corpora- tion. As if that’s not enough he’s also the creative and marketing director at Paz & Chivz Bespoke. He has worked with several brands like Truworths Men, Econet USSD campaign, Old Mutual, FBC Bank, Credisure and ZB Bank. As a fashion runway model he has worked and walked for Zarguesia brand, Fungai Muzorodza, House of Stone, Makanaka, as well as Vicenzo Valli and Style by Minie. Deep Insight Magazine 21

Qn: What is your definition of being a building confidence one is able to dis- man? cover their true identity. Ans: Being a man is about taking re- Qn: What is really meant by toxic sponsibility and care of the people and masculinity? environment around you. It’s being a Ans:Toxic masculinity is the result good steward of the community you’re in of years of passed down traits, and leading others who need a helping habits and mind-sets that are harm- hand. ful to both men and women, emo- Qn: How does one become a man of tionally, physically and mentally. It is value? the misinformation of what being a man Ans: A man of value is a man of solu- is. tions. Being able to provide solutions to Qn: Let’s talk about men’s issues affecting your family, your com- mental health, how would munity and your nation through your you describe people’s natural talents or acquired skills. attitudes towards men- Qn: How would you describe masculini- tal health for men? ty? Ans: The negative Ans: I would describe masculinity as the stereotypes sur- habits and traits in men that are socially rounding mental acceptable and appropriate. health affect Qn: What’s the difference between a boy men as well. If and a man? your definition Ans: A boy fully depends on others within of what being his proximity to show up and address his a man ne- needs. A boy becomes a man when he glects that changes his attitude and mind-set from a man has that of one who waits for others to initiate limits and responsibility to one who takes control of often needs his own needs and that of others when- help in times ever he can. of need then Qn: How can one build confidence as a you will perceive asking man? for help as not being manly. Ans: Confidence is founded on knowl- A man who does not ask for edge. Self confidence is unwavering help due to fear or shame knowledge and understanding of who cannot fully become a re- you are and what you will stand for, and sponsible steward of the also an understanding of your limits. By world around him. A man that does not seek help 22 Deep Insight Magazine cannot fully function as a man.

Qn: How do you deal with pressure Qn: Men have voiced online that and stress? opening up about mental health Ans: I take time to pray, revisit bibli- struggles is not easy—this may be cal principles in the bible that prom- due to male stereotypes—what’s ise peace. I also listen to songs your perspective on this and how from my favourites gospel ministers. can this be changed? If the problem seems to persist I Ans: We need to demystify mental turn to my friends for their comfort health by focusing on the positives and counsel. These help me to more than the negatives. What you determine whether I should rest or focus on grows. In order to take our simply endure the season. power back from succumbing to negative stereotypes, our attention Qn: What do you con- needs to be redirected from merely sider as the biggest focusing on the dark side of mental barriers towards health, and promoting positive as- men’s mental pects of mental wellness such as health? positive attitude and outlook toward Ans: Not know- self and others, teaching people to ing when and discover purpose in what they do how to share and how to tackle different and chal- responsibil- lenging situations in life. ities. If you Qn: If there’s anything you would have 40% change in today’s community what capacity would that be? in you Ans: I would promote more love and on a bad forgiveness. Life is imperfect and day, week being more compassionate towards or sea- people and teaching one another son and that it’s part of life to experience dif- you give ficult circumstances and even when the 40% you fail from time to time you are you have, still a valuable part of society. you would have Qn: What’s your general advice to given 100% of what fellow men? you have and that is Ans: Our value in society as men enough. When we can only be realised when we stand are compassionate together in good and in bad times. It as a society, ex- is also important for us to know that pectations can be masculinity without love and com- redefined in order passion will hold us back from shap- for people to thrive ing the world around us. under any circum- stances. Deep Insight Magazine 23

EMBRACING MASCULINITY A Message to the Youth By Millicent T. Chigomba In a world where societal expectations and stereotypes often shape our un- derstanding of masculinity, it’s crucial for the youth to redefine and embrace their own versions of manhood. The journey towards a healthy and positive understanding of masculinity begins with self-reflection, empathy, and the rejection of harmful stereotypes. Society often tries to fit men into pre- determined molds, but it’s essential to understand that everyone is unique. Em- brace your individuality, celebrate your strengths, and explore your passions without feeling pressured to conform to traditional expectations. Remember, true strength lies in being authentic to your- self. Contrary to popular belief, displaying emotions and vulnerability is not a sign of weakness. Developing emotional in- telligence allows you to understand and manage your emotions effectively, foster- ing healthier relationships and personal growth. Learn to express yourself openly, seek support when needed, and cultivate empathy towards others. Treat everyone with respect, regardless 24 Deep Insight Magazine

of gender. Embrace cising, healthy eating, personal growth. Re- the concept of gender and getting enough rest. member, learning from equality and challenge Seek help and support others’ experiences can harmful stereotypes that when facing mental be invaluable. perpetuate inequality. Be health challenges, as an ally, stand up against seeking assistance is In navigating the com- sexism, and work to- a sign of strength, not plexities of modern mas- wards building a soci- weakness. culinity, remember that ety where everyone is being a man is not de- valued and respected. Reframing masculini- fined by outdated stere- Healthy relationships ty in a positive light is otypes or societal expec- are built on mutual trust, essential. Instead of tations. Embrace your communication, and focusing on aggressive individuality, cultivate respect. Understand behavior or dominance, emotional intelligence, the importance of con- aim for qualities such as and strive for equality sent, boundaries, and empathy, kindness, and and respect. By practic- active listening. Strive compassion. Understand ing positive masculinity, for equality and support that true strength comes you can make a signifi- your partner’s personal from lifting others and cant impact on your own and professional aspi- being a force for posi- life and the lives of those rations. Remember, a tive change in the world. around you. Let us forge strong man uplifts those Seek out positive male a path towards a future around him. role models who embody where men are celebrat- the values and qualities ed for their authenticity, Taking care of your you admire. Surround compassion, and com- physical, mental, and yourself with mentors emotional well-being is who can guide you on mitment to creating a crucial. Prioritize self- your journey towards more inclusive world. care activities like exer- self-improvement and In navigating the complexities of mod- ern masculinity, remember that be- ‘‘ing a man is not defined by outdated stereotypes or societal expectations. Embrace your individuality, cultivate emotional intelligence, and strive for equality and respect.’’ Deep Insight Magazine 25

MY FATHER IN LAW, A BLESSING By Hazel Maseko To be a man takes human, they are gods to the giver, the one who courage, love, many whether biologi- sacrifices all the time, a strength, patience, cal or not. They give out man of honor in his vil- kindness, and embrac- pure and genuine love, lage and wherever he is ing imperfections. How building and molding us known, and a communi- men feel and how much to be firm and wise, pav- ty leader. His love and weight they carry is ing the way. I remem- selflessness are what something we don’t fully ber when I first entered makes him stand out. So understand. When life my marital home I was many people have been gets hard on them, we scared because the only molded by his guidance don’t see them showing person I knew was my and leadership includ- emotions as it is seen husband and there was ing myself. I am a better as a sign of weakness. no way that we would version of myself since They keep grinding, be together 24/7…then I I became a part of his pushing, fighting, slaving met my very welcoming family. themselves and holding father in law. He em- on because what they braced me as his own Thank you for always provide at home is what daughter, welcoming believing in me and my is seen. The world may me with open arms. He little family. sometimes be harsh on made it easier for me them yet they still love to settle in. Indeed he unconditionally and un- is a living epistle of the apologetically. grace of God upon men. The family is standing Believe you me; men because he is the pa- are the world to a lot out triarch, a true reflection there. They are the cour- of a family man. He is age givers, the strength known to be the father to to hold onto and the rays the fatherless, the path- of hope. Men aren’t just finder, the kingmaker, 26 Deep Insight Magazine

THE SCEPTRE OF MASCULINITY By Trevor Mukarati Voices in my sleep calls for my awakening It’s hard to look alive in a metal coffin of poverty Being the head of the family doesn’t do well without a hat. Sometimes the world gets cold. And you’ll be there to unfold the untold pain with tears which cannot be shed, Complaints which will never be heard. It’s now on paper A man has to stay strong Who speak the language of masculinity Who writes the literature of perseverance There have been ambiguity on commitment based on achievement. Every man has to work To change the future Break chains of generational curses And light the future like an inferno I’m taking a moment away from the scroll To read from the wall About the war The stories of departed fathers Who breathed air with pride There’s more to that They raised warriors Now freedom is our daily bread They declared security and now we got immunity. Man built communities, and dissolved all the impurities with their sacred voices of honour, married women, and allowed their love to glow and cover our land like the glorious mist in the morning Deep Insight Magazine 27

7 Beginner Friendly Natural Hair Styles By Tatenda Matorevhu 28 Deep Insight Magazine

Transitioning to natural hair can be One thing you will love and enjoy is the quite confusing with all the terms, versatility of our hair. From Teeny Weeny routines and styles to learn. It’s Afro to long hair, you can do so many easy to get lost and overwhelmed as a diverse styles with your hair. Peruse newly natural. You are not alone as all through some beginner friendly stylish of us have been there at some point. hairdos you can easily do by yourself in However, it gets easier as you learn to the comfort of your home. embrace your nappy curls and as your crown grows bigger. Cornrows This is a simple style that’s braided close to the scalp. It can be worn anywhere and everywhere. Double it up with a wig and you get to rock two styles interchangeably. High puff A quick and easy no fuss style, you can never go wrong with a high puff really. The high puff looks good with anything and is suitable for all occasions. If your hair is on the shorter side no worries, you can buy a detachable puff to achieve this look. Low puff It is basically the same as a high puff, but like its name suggests it’s positioned lower, at the back of your head. Add some gel to create a more sleek and shiny look. Alternate between a low and a high puff to create versatility. Deep Insight Magazine 29

Bantu knots Despite the name, these aren’t really knots but buns. They are achieved by a certain twisting and wrapping of your hair. Bantu knots can be worn as a knot out, simply un- ravel the knots to enjoy a wavy style Good ol’ Afro Flaunt your hair in this easy, low maintenance style. It is perfect for all lengths of hair. Moisturize and comb out your hair and you are ready to go Mini twists/Mini braids Done on dry hair, mini twists and mini braids can last up to a month and can be styled in so many ways. For twists you can alternatively do wet twists, which set better and have less risk of unravelling. Twist Out Like the bantu knot out, you get to rock gorgeous curls and waves on your hair with this style. Divide your hair in sections, twist them and unravel carefully when they are dry. 30 Deep Insight Magazine

“No man stands taller than when he stoops to help a child.” - Abraham Lincoln Deep Insight Magazine 31

Writers’ Spotlight Hey fam! Meet Terence Zizhou. He’s the writer for this edition spot- light. We managed to glean important intel from him… What’s your biggest pet peeve? •Long talkers If there was a movie about you, who would play your character? •Will Smith What’s a skill that you have that many people do not know about? •Giving advice although I suck at taking my own advice haha What’s your favourite word? •Pain Your Favourite tone of writing? •Emotional Any quote from one of your writings? • “I ache as I reminisce about the good times I took for grant- ed, the beautiful moments I didn’t take in because I thought would last forever.” Thank you Terence! Read his article in this edition titled, ‘Be- coming a father’ and check his book recommendations. 32 Deep Insight Magazine

Book Recommendations The Things We Left Unsaid By Emma Kennedy Delves into the intricate web of unexpressed feel- ings, untold stories, and unresolved conflicts that shape our lives. With sensitivity and depth, Kenne- dy examines the repercussions of these unspoken truths, weaving a captivating narrative that reveals the power of words left unsaid. It Ends With Us By Colleen Hoover A captivating romance novel that navigates the com- plexities of love, heartbreak, and personal growth. With raw emotions and a powerful narrative, Hoover tells the story of Lily Bloom and her journey to con- front the painful realities of her past and find her own strength. Finding Me By Viola Davis A memoir that chronicles the inspiring journey of the acclaimed actress. From her humble beginnings in poverty to her rise in Hollywood, Davis shares her tri- umphs, struggles, and the moments of self-discovery that shaped her into the remarkable artist and advo- cate she is today. Born a Crime By Trevor Noah A captivating memoir that explores the author’s child- hood in apartheid-era South Africa. Noah reflects on his experiences as a biracial child, navigating the complexities of identity, racism, and survival. With wit and honesty, he shares stories that highlight both the hardships and resilience of his upbringing. Deep Insight Magazine 33

Letters to men 34 Deep Insight Magazine

Dear Dad Hello young man. It’s been a while. I “Gold and silver I may tated some may be. You should write more not have, to give. But believe what you believe often. That means I will God should grant you and are not sorry for it. I of course. We wouldn’t all the blessings He has pray for that strength of want anyone thinking we to offer the good and mind. don’t do this all the time, obedient children. For I hope it doesn’t come would we? We recent- you are a shooting star”. as too much of a shock, ly celebrated Father’s You wrote me that when but I look up to you. If Day and guess what? It I was thirteen. I hadn’t one day the good Lord means I get to go down spotted anyone remotely blesses me with a fam- memory lane and be familiar in the crowd of ily of my own, I want to cheesy. I can get away family and friends. And be the kind of a mother with it too, this time of as usual, I was wishing to them that you would the year. I hadn’t won anything. be proud of. You are the Do you remember all I was envying my col- best father a girl could those school functions leagues sitting in their ask for. you came to? Thank undisturbed places of I am sorry for the tears you. Thank you for being ordinary. I was miserable we made you cry. For a present and guiding until I saw you. I was so the disappointments you father. Thank you for happy I wanted to cry. I felt, I apologize. For the always supporting me did that quick backhand battles you fought for us, through those anxious swipe across my eyes the known and the not- times. The podium never and gave you an almost so-known, we are grate- failed to feel like a pyre. composed smile. You ful. The agony we may Those were some of the said, “Well done achi- have caused you. I hope loneliest times for me. hera”, and handed me we make you proud Weird right? You’d think that treasured note. You enough to ease the pain. they were my happiest. made me happy. You You have always been I was always anxious. made me rich. there. That’s your super- Afraid that no one would When I am down, I power, and I thank God show up. And that I’d be know I can come to you. you are my father. alone on that big stage, I know you will listen Your loving daughter with strangers looking and understand what I Tendai on. It’s such a paradox, wouldn’t be understand- because I also knew, my ing myself. You have a Deep Insight Magazine 35 dapper dad would show way about you. I love up. Suited up and all. how you stick to your guns no matter how irri-

A letter to all the men Ihave been scratching least...we recognize all you der enough pressure. The and scratching my head do and we thank you. strongest of pillars need to try and find the per- In a world where mental an even stronger foundati- fect words to pen down health is the order of the on to stand on. You’re not for this month’s article. day but there seem not to invincible, it’s okay to be Celebrating men. It would be enough safe spaces human and express your have been easier if I was for you, we want to let you concerns as well. You’re a man. Maybe I would be know that you’re seen and seen, you’re heard and able to find something re- you’re heard. In a world you’re loved. latable. I would really un- where you’re expected to Dear men, in a world whe- derstand and comprehend lead, guide and protect, re the focus and intent is what it is and what it takes who will look out for you? on protecting the women, to be a man. But then l In a world where you need I want you to know that thought what’s best than to have it all figured out, you’re not forgotten. We to write a note of appre- who will hear out your see you, we love you. We ciation to all the men out fears and doubts? You’re admire, we respect you. there. So here it goes... worthy of love, you’re wort- May you always remem- hy of support. You deserve ber all these words when Dear Men to also focus on the things the walk gets tough and Despite not really unders- that will heal, encourage you feel less of a person. tanding how your world and strengthen you to go When the pressure threa- works we want to let you on. tens to drown you. Know know that we stand with You’re supposed to be that you’re important, you, by you and for you. strong and yes you’re st- you’re loved, you’re seen For all the work you do, rong but always remember and you’re heard. the sacrifices you make, you’re human too. Even Yours truly we are truly grateful. when you face pressure Tapiwanashe Matorevhu In a world where you you’re expected to not may seem forgotten, we show any signs of strugg- remember you. For so- le. The pressure of being a meone whom we expect pillar can be hard to bear. a lot from but yet it seems Remember even the st- like you’re celebrated the rongest iron buckles un- 36 Deep Insight Magazine

‘‘Dear men, You’re not forgotten. We see you, we love you. We admire, we respect you. Deep Insight Magazine 37

DEAR SOUL, YOU’VE GOT THIS 38 Deep Insight Magazine

Most times I get to the space you are occupy- the potential within you ask myself how ing on this earth is impor- that we need to see and people get to fill tant hence this letter I’m experience. Don’t deprive the void in their lives which addressing to you, dear us of the love and care might have been caused soul. that you need to show us. by a number of factors or I don’t exactly know how You can balance it all be- events that happened in you are, trying to juggle cause more than anything their lives. Mostly it’s how everything that’s going on GOD has got you. You are someone called a man is in your life and l am sorry precious in His sight and handling pressures and about the stigmatization honoured and He loves the depression accompa- that’s there about men’s you (Isaiah 43:4). nied by such. How does mental health. Therefore, Hey soul, being vulnerable that one soul balance it in this is a gentle remind- isn’t a sign of weakness. a society where he is also er to take a deep breath Talk to that person and let expected to be strong and because it’s your nervous it all out, give your mental go through everything like system’s love language. being the break from it all a real man? Is depression Look for that place where when it needs it. Let God different for men? How is you can be vulnerable carry you because He is that one soul really bal- because those wounds of greater than our hearts ancing it all? the heart and the scars on and minds. Just start by the mind need it. Yes, vul- taking a pause and a I have talked a bit about nerability sounds like truth deep breath and let it all this to a number of people and feels like courage and out. In taking small steps and the answer l got was; it aren’t always comforta- like these, you will find “THAT MAN, THAT SOUL ble but it’s never a weak- the pieces that you will THAT IS TRYING TO PUT ness. You might not have use to fill the void within ON A BRAVE FACE FOR it all figured out now nor caused by all the losses. THE SOCIETY DESPITE seeing it working out soon You will somehow find EVERYTHING IS ACTU- but even if there is a crack the balance in the midst ALLY CRYING FOR HELP in everything, always re- of it all because you are AND HE ALSO NEEDS member that that’s how capable of being the best A SHOULDER TO LEAN light gets in. Allow yourself brother, husband, friend, ON AND A SAFE SPACE to experience what you workmate, boyfriend and a TO VENT OUT”. More need right now, whether father someone has ever than anything, your mental it’s space, rest, support, or had. You’ve got it dear health is also important just a simple pause and a soul! just like that of any wom- deep breath. You are not Yours Sincerely an you see walking or you a burden for taking care are living with. Your smile of yourself. Your mental Chikomborero Dapira and your peace are as health is so important just valuable as anyone else’s. like anyone else’s. Don’t Yes, the pressures are a deprive us of the gifts and lot but your existence and Deep Insight Magazine 39

DEAR MEN, YOU’VE GOT THIS We all have You climb mountains and scars to bury. heard stories of hardships and face Having been surrounded about women, challenges head on, by male siblings in my of how unique, special, keeping it together be- life, I got to understand and exceptional they are, cause you’re always men to some extent. the sacrifices they’ve reminded that real men Growing up with broth- made. I for one am a don’t cry. The world has ers proved to be difficult woman and I love to tried to classify you as sometimes but it was an be celebrated, but you, strong because it’s far eye opener, witnessing men, are also worthy of much easier to under- the struggles they face celebrating. You don’t stand than having to daily to keep up with always receive the value understand a little bit of society’s expectations. and gratitude you de- everything in you. My father, bless his serve. We often forget memory, an honourable the hardships and strug- Dear men, you carry man who’s so dear to gles you face day in day most of the burdens, my heart gifted us with out and for that, we’re facing disappointments, three strong men who sorry. struggles and great los- possess the same char- es and yet you try to acter and traits he had. Dear Men, you are a hold it together, suffer- He did his best to raise walking contrariness, ing in silence. You have such men of valour and both strong and soft, parts you’re yet to dis- I’m so grateful he fought deep and light hearted. cover, wounds to heal 40 Deep Insight Magazine

Dear men, ‘‘You carry most of the bur- dens, facing disappoint- ments, struggles and great loses and yet you try to hold it together, suffering in silence. You have parts you’re yet to discover, wounds to heal and scars to bury.’’ a good fight. I can truly worth it, striving to over- ity to recognize when a say I’m blessed to have come everything that job is done. It’s a belief such a good example of comes your way be- that every exit line is an the kind of a life partner I cause deep down inside entry that you’re moving desire to have in my life. you know you’re hunters, up, not out. God did not Cheers to all men who goal getters! Such brav- create you with an extra are doing the very best ery is worthy of emula- set of eyes on the back to raise a generation of tion. of your head because well groomed men! He did not intend for Dear Men, You are sol- When all is said and you to look backwards diers. You fight for what done, I leave this to you: so don’t rehearse your you believe in and never Sometimes, when things reverse, press on we’re hold back. You march don’t work out as you rooting for you, you got towards your dreams wanted, just know some- this! fiercely with boldness, thing better is coming holding your ground in your way. Sometimes, Yours Sincerely the face of conflict. You redirection is a helpful in- break barriers with cour- tervention. Mistakes lead Debrah Chimwere age and grace, facing you to lessons learned obstacles, reminding and trust the process. yourselves that what you’re fighting for is ‘Graceful exit’ as I like to say begins with the abil- Deep Insight Magazine 41

DEAR MEN, YOU MATTER TOO! You do get issues or men don’t cry. I’m not you can share with and that overwhelm disputing the fact that a not feel judged. you from time man is the head of the to time. From a tender house and the leader in And to the world; let’s age you’re taught to be the home, even the word create spaces for men strong, to be brave, to of God says so. But even to be able to reach out if be the head and to be the source needs refill- they want to. Just shar- the leader. You’re taught ing from time to time. It ing and opening up may to be the one who fixes needs maintenance or it be of great help. Letting things. But what hap- will be worn out and not it out helps a lot. I’m not pens when you need be as useful as it should saying every man who fixing too? Can a broken be. is stressed or is facing tool work effectively? some problems should Dear men, there is noth- reach out and get help You walk around with ing wrong with you get- (that would be nice a lot of baggage but ting help if you feel like though), but I’m saying if looking like everything you need it. There is one wishes to get help, is fine on the outside. nothing wrong in reach- they should be able to From an early age you’re ing out when you need do so without the so- taught to be “the man”. fixing. Be a man and get ciety tagging them as You’re taught to face the the help you need. Re- weak or less of a man. world and deal with it. member, you can’t give These tags have made Society has branded a what you don’t have. You some men to bury pain man who reaches out or can’t live life as a shad- deep inside, to pretend shares his problems as ow of yourself. Reach as if they are okay when a “weak man”. You hear out and get help. It may they are dying slowly on them saying, “Ita semu- not necessarily be a the inside. At least men rume” or “Wotoshinga therapist, maybe it’s a should be able to ex- semurume” or “Murume friend, a girlfriend, your press their need for help haacheme”. Be a man mom, brother, sister, wife without being treated or be strong like a man or anyone you feel like some type of way. 42 Deep Insight Magazine

Some of these deep help them and be there rooted issues may spring for them. up and cause problems in business handlings, Sometimes the fixer personal life, relation- needs fixing. A little ships etc. Some men maintenance to keep feel like detaching and things running smoothly dealing with it alone is and effectively. You can- the way to go. I know we not pour from an empty deal with pain in different cup. You need refuel- ways. But if the way you ling. You need a refill. deal with pain is pushing Get that refill so you can people away from you, keep on leading, keep that’s a problem. Time on being strong, keep on and space alone is okay, being a fulfilled man. If but shutting down and you need help please go shutting out the people get help!! Do it for your- you love and who love self and those around you every time you face you. Your mental health a problem is not the and well-being matters way to go. Especially for too. those in relationships or who are married, it may make your partner feel alienated or secluded. Yours truly Imagine someone pull- ing away from you every Ivy S. Chiworeka time they face something when all you want is to Deep Insight Magazine 43

Letter to my ex Dear Ex ars. Oh funny, it’s been this letter to say THANK years right and l am YOU. I don’t know where still writing to you. I and how to start. I was have tried to move on Thank you for letting taught that if it is a bu- but it’s like two steps me go. Of course, l cri- siness letter you start forward and one step ed for months but it with the purpose of your backwards. So yeah, l was worth it. All l ne- letter. If it is a friendly haven’t done much con- eded were answers to letter, you start with cerning that area. a lot of questions that greetings and updating Anyway, I hope you are l had. I blamed myself your friend about what’s good wherever you are. for everything that hap- going on in your life. You have probably for- pened back then. I tried But this is not a busi- gotten about me and l everything l could for ness letter, neither is it completely understand you to at least explain to a friendly letter because because our ‘forever’ in me what happened but we are no longer friends. love lasted only a few all was in vain. Howe- months. For the past ver, this taught me that I thought this was going few years I was trying l am only responsible to be easy to let out to figure out what went for something if l choo- everything that l have wrong. And l finally did, se to be. Just because felt for the past few ye- that’s why l am writing something bad happens to me or around me 44 Deep Insight Magazine

doesn’t mean that l have girl to jump and ask because that remote is to allow it to beat me whilst l am already mid- no longer working. down. air. Those days l didn’t A heart can’t be broken care that you had so- twice right. Thank you Thank you for always meone, all l wanted was for being the one to bre- not replying my mes- you. The rest didn’t mat- ak it. The scars that you sages or picking up my ter. But you know what, left me with are a re- calls. It was hard at first that whole experience minder that l will always but l later got used to it. taught me about sel- look back at every time It made me realise that f-worth. l fall in love. It’s with just because one person isn’t talking to me doe- Thank you for your ho- these scars that l know sn’t mean that the world nesty. You knew l wa- if this relationship l am has rejected me. Thank sn’t going to put up about to go into will be you for dating some- with your character. You good for me lest it turns one immediately after knew the type of per- into other scars again. we broke up. It was the son l thought you were I use it as a rear view hardest thing to watch. which was completely mirror to see where l am It was in those moments wrong. You had to call going and how l should that l learnt that no one the cards before we go navigate. If it wasn’t for is entitled to love me. any further. This is the you, l think l would have Love is by choice. You best thing that you did had a lot of ‘love acci- choose who you want for me in the relation- dents’. or don’t want to be with ship. At least l still got despite what people something good l see Yours Gratefully may say. from our relationship Ex Thank you for making which is the honesty you me your back-up. Yes, had when you were bre- you knew l was fragi- aking up with me. le and just one smile Honestly, until now l from you l would quit don’t know the actual everything and be at reason why you said we your service. Whenever should ‘pause’ our rela- you would say ‘jump’, tionship. But l am glad l wasn’t that girl who that you did. I just hope would ask how high that one day you will not first. I was the type of think of pressing ‘play’ Deep Insight Magazine 45