Flipbook Medicine Wheel Basic 1st Edition Steven Ballantyne

1st Edition Steven BallantyneFocusing Oriented Therapist, Focusing Trainer Therapist Life-Skills Coach

AWARENESS & MEDICINE WHEEL INDEGINOUS PERSPECTIVE – Role Play – Addictions & behaviours – Faulty Belief & Awareness – 8 Brainwashing tools used to break down children & adults – Residential School – Steps to run the Medicine Wheel Workshop – Self help & Group work – Effective strategies & Therapeutic approach – Valuable insight to understanding your client or yourself BASIC MODULE BehavioursWHOLISTIC APPROACH TO RESIDENTIAL SCHOOL & HEALING OURSELVES AND OUR HOMES By Steven Ballantyne – F.T.T. - F.O.T. - Life Skills Coach

A About the Author I am a father of 4 from Central Saskatchewan and have been clean and sober since April 5th,1988 yet my first drink of alcohol was when I was aged 6. I have compiled my work into one booksince I have been to Residential School, foster homes, and have ran away countless times as wellexperienced abuse. The years of counselling, training, and self reflection have brought me to this pointand give credit to those who have taught me, especially our elders. I know what it is like to be judged,ridiculed or made to be ashamed because of mistakes, healing is necessary and no one can heal ifanyone is judged. When you are pushed against the wall, there was a choice to push back in the right orwrong manner, fortunately I did it right. People who have addictions look at others but not themselvesbecause of not being raised right, I understand that too. The abuse people have suffered has causedshame, guilt & even trauma to many that was passed on to others which explains why many keepsecrets and project rather than share. Many people have come to the point where they are scared ofgood such as talking about their secrets to others who are trustworthy and are not afraid of somethingbad such as alcohol and drugs. This generation many have found healing, yet we still deal withsuicides, kids being taken away, poverty and government policies that created traumatic experiences. The system itself does not really do justice either because when we want to charge someonewho has done harm it becomes public therefore we just find alternatives. The Residential School hastaught people to run and avoid everything, and has led to addictions, jail, hospitals and so on. It is allthat people know and have not been raised in the right manner, and been using church as the way tobetter themselves. Church is good but the truth is that it is a borrowed way, and that many werebrainwashed that ceremonies were evil, that stemmed from missionaries who told us so. Many peoplehave found that it is ceremonies that provide healing for many youth who lost their way in Indiancountry, that is how we will find our way back to our identity. I used to believe that culture was eviland would go to hell when I saw people praying the way they did, not until I experienced the thingswhile I was there. Missionaries did a good job of many First nations to try avoid our Indian way ofliving, yet we are very lucky that many elders and families have held onto our way of life. Do notmisunderstand, Church helps many people and is a good path to follow for anyone, as Creator madethat path for our white brothers and sisters, and has helped many. To be introduced to our way of life was rather a culture shock, I felt as if I did not belong thereas being raised from Residential School then to our culture was a wake up call. Since I left ResidentialSchool and then meeting kind and honest people made me believe there are good people out there. Ihad taken a course in Focusing Oriented Therapy with Shirley Turcotte where she helped with atherapeutic approach by going within. I had learned that problems with trauma are within andsometimes are triggered by events in our lives such as a break up. When I had a break up when I was17 years of age I was triggered by the loss of my mother who I lost at age 8 through violence. To betriggered is not a bad thing but a way to a point in your life where you have an opportunity to deal withit by talking about it. I was glad to be introduced to our culture when I went to Plains Indians CulturalSurvival School where I first learned about our culture in Calgary Alberta. I met Stan Whiteman ofBrowning, Montana who was a teacher for powwow singing, and who taught me how to dancemensfancy. To dance gave me purpose and meaning, and eventually led me to ceremonies. I am a certified Focusing Oriented Therapist and Focusing Oriented Therapist as well as a LifeSkills Coach. As I have put this together it has taken me many years to make a conclusion that anapproach to helping our own was necessary. I hope that this helps and makes a difference in your life tohave a better understanding of yourself through behaviours. I hope you may find this useful to use inyour own recovery and to help others as well. To talk about others and judge is pain, and no one canhelp if anyone is judgmental, so non judgment is necessary when helping others. Realize that those youmeet when involved in addictions serve you harm, and others you meet to help them grow. When youwant to grow, only way is to help another grow there is no other way in the spiritual world.

B ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS & RESIDENTIAL SCHOOL The purpose of this book is to educate the educated, for those on their own healing journey, educators,front line workers, and those interested in helping themselves and others. I would like to thank the followingpeople who have helped me along the way, and find my way back to the traditional road to healing and recovery;Chris Baldwin, Cameron Crowchild, Stan Whiteman Sr., Kenny Stevens, Late Kim Manyguns, Plains IndiansSingers (1988 to 1993) Wesley Eaglechild, Minnie Williams, Brenda Hanson, Shirley Turcotte, Philip Goodwin,Bob Sutherland, Jules Tapas, Conrad Iahtail, Bob & Lynn Wabasse, Adrian Sutherland, Kenny Stevens, D.J. KenLay, my adopted father Jimmy O'Chiese, Adopted mom Doris Daychief, many mensfancy dancers, Rob Papin(hip hop dancer who taught me) Mark Ballantyne, Dean Soenen, Native Addictions Services Calgary Alberta,and Simon House Calgary Alberta. It was because of these people and agencies that I do not take credit for asthey helped shape who I am, and what I have become. I especially I want to thank many who are not on this listwho helped me along and took the time to share and teach what family and friendship was about. Aboriginal People have endured 4 centuries so the church run the schools, the government plan was killthe “Indian in the child”. Assimilation was their goal. European culture was in direct contrast to Aboriginalcultures. Aboriginal children placed their heart of a belief system, while European culture was based on theprofound patriarchal oppression of women and children in society. The children were to be seen and not heard.They believed that children required strict discipline by physical punishment, child labour was common in theirhistory. During the 1600's through 1820, British homesteaders demanded the Indians somehow be neutralized orremoved. In 1830 jurisdiction over the management of Indian affairs considered adult Indians to be“unimprovable” ones and the children destined for complete assimilation. In 1846 the government resolved at ameeting in Orilla, Ontario to fully commit itself to Indian Residential Schools. These are now considered to havebeen “interment camps” for children. Curriculum was designed to meet their basic needs of the European servicesector, cooking, sewing, general labour. In the mid 1800 to 1970 up to a third of all aboriginal children wereconfined to these schools for the majority of their childhoods. These government funded shared the mandate toeradicate all that was Indian in them. They hoped the Indian problem would cease. In 1876 the federal Indian Act effectively rendered all aboriginal people/children before the law legalwars of the crown. Indian agents were dispersed across the country, these agents had powers to hold money or toincarcerate parents who would not send their children to Residential Schools. Some children were “scooped up”when parents were not looking and actually taken. In 1907 the “Montreal Star” and “Saturday Night” bothreported on the medical inspection of the Schools that found aboriginal children were dying in astonishingnumbers. The magazine called the 24% national death rate of aboriginal children in the schools (42% countingthe children who died at home, where many were sent when they were critically ill), “a situation disgraceful ofthe country”. Even war seldom shows as large a percentage of fatalities as does the Residential School and itseducational system we have imposed upon our Indian wards. Many Residential Schools started closing once lawsuits came, and many children have suffered abuses in these schools. The results were panic attacks, insomnia,uncontrollable anger, alcohol and drug abuse, sexual abuse, inability and addiction, poor parenting abilities,inability to function well in relationships, eating disorders, post traumatic disorder, and the list goes on and on.These symptoms are still seen today and are being passed on from generation to another. Treatment andaddiction services, elders, counsellors can provide help, and is highly treatable once an individual seeks.This book is copy right material, and you may use only for recovery for personal use. I ask you touse this in the right manner and respect that this is my life’s work and learning's so that you can benefit to apply it to better yourself. If you encounter issues while helping yourself you are responsible for seeking a counsellor or elder. This is a guide that you chose to help yourself and that you find the appropriate help when need be and do not take any responsibility for yourhealing. You do not have the right to copy, duplicate, or sell but can use in counselling and in part of your recovery or teachings during community workshops if you like. Any questions you can email me at [email protected] Thank you.

TABLE OF CONTENTS1) Cover page 1st Edition2) The Medicine Wheel3) About the author4) Acknowledgements, Residential School & copyright5) Table of contents6) Chapter 1 Spirituality & Bidermans Chart of Coercion-Brainwash Awareness pg. 1 & 2&37) Chapter 2 How to conduct Medicine Wheel workshop*4 doors, addict and co- dependant behaviours role-play pg. 4 to 88) Chapter 3 Attraction, Safe/Cautious/Secrets, Freedom or Fear pg. 9 to 119) Chapter 4 Alternatives 4 parents, Parked Car, Realization of Behaviours pg. 12 to 1410) Chapter 5 4 Areas, Solving Inner Conflict, Actions to Success, Partnerships pg. 15 to 1811) Chapter 6 Critic Exercise, Seasons Medicine Wheel, Cravings-To long for pg. 19 to 2112) Chapter 7 Make up that Mind, You matter pg. 22 to 2313) Chapter 8 Joy, Adult children, Needs, Attraction 2, pg. 24 to 2614) Chapter 9 Addiction, Habits, Judgments, Conclusions pg. 27 to 31

1 - Chapter 1 SPIRITUALITYThe idea of spirituality is different for many based upon their own teachings, and I want toexplain some things that will help where some of this comes from. You see how people see Creator,Mother Earth, the stars, sun, clouds, wind, country, province, city, community, partnership, friends, kidsis identical to how you see yourself. If you get yourself a piece of paper and write down all of this andask yourself what you think and believe of what I just explained you will get a clear picture. This iswhy some people complain and say “Creator never answers me, or Creator is cruel”, this stems fromhow they see their father. When people say such things as “my son is so stubborn” they are actuallytalking about themselves from a present moment or an earlier time that reflects themselves. This comesfrom the 5 senses we all have where what we see, hear, taste, touch, and smell so our personality comesthis. We see the world as you are when your looking at others. Our personality differs from one anotherand that is also where our power comes from made out of fear and doubt. Those that have been throughabuse such as I have will attract another who has been through abuse as well. Fear and doubt happenswhen we try put fear into another and we begin to doubt ourselves because it does not work.Those that are in superior positions attract those that are inferior and as well as doubt and fearand is all about power. Addictions stem from fear and doubt which is why they create what they areafraid of. Some people are afraid that they will lose their faith so therefore down the road...will, andtherefore it was made up of something that was not going to work. People that have faith in peoplesometimes will be let down because they are human and then stop praying because of this. Peoplechange their belief because either their faith was faulty or because someone let them down and causedhurt or anger. People will put fear unto another so that their faith will be fear-based and superior to youso you have this inferior self. When we become inferior we have this isolation that we are limited, andwe will operate only through our 5 senses. A personality can also be explained as to become like acandle which is okay and meet up with other candles so that there is more light among ourselves. Yetwhy become a candle when your spirit is light, and that is where our 6th sense comes from.Our spirit is where we have this feeling of someone is behind you and you look and there issomeone there, where-areas a personality cannot tell. When someone drinks or does drugs their spirit isfar away from them and cannot give them guidance as that is what the spirit does. That is why someonecan sneak up behind you while intoxicated and hit you and you didn't know someone was there. Whenwe are spirituality connected we get feelings of good or bad when something is going to happen as toprepare you for whats coming. We experience compassion and reverence for life as everything is alive.We start treating people with dignity and smile more and this in turn gives people a smile back. Do youever look at someone and smile at them and not know why? This is because their spirit is connectedand strong and why we like people who are. A person who is not spirituality connected want what thatperson has but will find out they need to work on that themselves to get connected as they do. In orderto heal we need to look at that pain that sits such as our chest, or stomach when it turns and the fear andanger it creates.It is normal to avoid or run when there was pain so ask yourself this question and answer it.Where and when did you learn to run and avoid? Make a list of things that you ran or avoided and seefor yourself the work that's need to solve this and become aware and share it with someone you trust.There are many people who run their life like this; 1) Mind 2) Emotions 3) Body 4) Spirit but then prayonly when things get tough. The way that spiritual people go about their daily life is 1) Spirit2) Emotions 3) Body 4) Mind - and elders have explained that it has always been spirit first. Our mindis actually the slowest and our emotions 10 times faster as it goes through our body and then our mindas that is how we make our choices and decisions. When we have been raised in the wrong manner ouranger, hurt, and pain will dominate our decisions and that is why healing needs to occur. Sometimesthat is why some people either hide behind the bible or ceremony so they don't have to look at whatthey caused in another. To be able to align our personality with our soul is important to heal ourselves.

2 SPIRITUALITY Continued There are many ways that people believe in Creator as they understand him and how they theyconduct themselves. To explain what we believe such as how we see partnerships like girlfriend orboyfriend we are seeking what needs work in our selves. For example if you find yourself outspokenand are confident around people, but lack patience and kindness then you will attract someone who hasthese qualities. Vice versa you will create this by thinking of it often and talking about it that one dayyou will find someone who is patient and kind yet you will find out that you need to do the work tobecome who you are seeking. Many people are here to choose what kind of life they want eitherresponsibly or irresponsibly and that walking down a road of alcohol/drugs leads to despair, and will bemeaningless. Those that travel the road of alcohol and drugs usually experience uncertainty, reactionsto events instead of acting upon them, and find life very empty and ask themselves “why me?”. Thosethat travel the road where your soul wants to go experience harmony, cooperation, and reverence forlife. The reason why the soul wants you to go the direction your meant to is because that is yourpurpose, and therefore you create meaning in your life. Those that believe that a “good time” isdrinking and doing drugs will experience pain afterwards as they have not thought carefully of theconsequences such as fight or someone ending up in the hospital. The price is very high to pay and thatevery choice has consequences. Those that view a good time such as being at a ceremony createharmony, sharing, kindness, and cooperation and therefore the consequences are a healthy happier you.You begin to make friends and family who are there for you when need be, and those that use alcoholcreate instant friends only when drugs and alcohol is available, when it's gone so are your friends.Those that walk the spiritual road usually are involved in play such as dance, art, movies, music, sports,kids and families playing together because fear is absent. The more you co-create your life with otherslike you such as activities without fear then the more we learn, and we become faster at understanding.We begin to practice what we understand because those who learn from fear repeat the same mistakesmaybe 20 to 100 times until they realize that fear and doubt or addictions is not our way. Theexcitement is usually followed by fear and this is where addictions are created when combined. Our heart and spirit are another story as that is separate from the personality, and these togethercreate guidance, responsible choice, and harmony. Do not misunderstand that personalities are negativewhen they are not, they are designed to “get, earn, take, steal, achieve, learn, seek approval/attention,likes on Facebook, Twitter and friends, and anything that is outside of themselves to feel better inside.The personality is designed to have more in their life or to survive and that 2 personalities is better thanone. Together two personalities can attain and can always have money in the bank or to have more thaneveryone else. This is not a bad thing but rather is based out of fear and therefore have an identity.When a personality can align their spirit and heart then this is true compassion for all life. Whentragedy occurs as they sometimes do, we can always ask ourselves what fear this is? This way we canask for the support of other spiritual people to help understand and seek the guides for help. Sometimeswe may not understand why certain things happen and this may challenge ourselves as frightened partsof our personality. It is okay to be scared as we may naturally feel that way, but we understand thatwhat happens to others also happens to you too, therefore we help one another. Part of living a spiritual life is saying what your going to do and when we do, we becomestronger. Those that break their promises regularly end up making themselves weaker and thereforedoubt themselves and say “ I knew I couldn't do it anyway”. Sometimes people set themselves up tofail. When you have love in your life through spirit your more prone to being happier, and healthier andhave a positive outlook on life. Your calm and at peace with yourself and are enlightened. When wemake irresponsibly choices we become agitated, and upset because consequences are dangerous. Tolove one another is our way of the soul and spirit to invite others to be close is natural way of life.

3B1IhDoEuRr MorAlNesSs:CBHrAaiRnsTtoOrFmCtOheERbeChIaOvNiou–rBsRoAn IfNliWp AchSaHrt-AVWalAidRaEtiNonESnSecessary for everyone's response Biderman's Chart of Coercion:There were 8 brain washing techniques used when captured prisoners of war were subjected to, and many ofthese offending behaviour shows in our own people from Residential School. If an adult can be brainwashedimagine a child how easy it would be to break them down? Keep in mind you are not being coerced intosomething bad when someone asks you to help yourself because there are people out there who do really careabout you. Some clients may come & say “I can't get on with my life” and those are brainwash words, look atrealities of “now” to break the brainwash as actions steps to today. Even in a relationship if one partner says “Idon't think your parents like me” their partner agrees and responds “we don't have to go there anymore”. That isbrainwash. Brainstorm some of these brainwash words and actions for one hour or less talk about these. One toone may be need to taken if anyone is triggered to diffuse issue, Focus on now and ask “what one small step canyou take today to help improve?” Those who have overcome this and have helped themselves what would theysay to you? Keep in mind all problems are smaller than you. This can be shown when doing your workshops aspart of bringing Awareness to the group or for yourself or handout. 1) THREATS: “He said he would kill me if I told on him” or “It is your fault if something happens”. “If you do this I am going to hurt you!” puts the responsibility on the victim and makes them feel terrible, yet that terrible feeling is coming from the abuser. A lot of yelling or threats to ex's or family members. Eye balling him/her “I'm going to take my life if you leave me!”. Financial support is taken away making victim to come back again. You can ask “Is this familiar or is this new?” to the client if he/she talks about any of this. 2) ISOLATION: “She always made me come straight home like I was on a time frame” or “Not allowed to have anyone to talk to or have friends”. Stay indoors never goes out, left with kids meanwhile he or she is out. Abuser keeps child away from any social support, now victim can protect the abuser, client can come in and say “I have no one to talk to”, you can say “that's how it was back then, when was the first time where you felt isolated like this before?” Or when one partner says “I don't think your family/friends like me” and if you agree you stop going there anymore as a way to isolate him/her from social support. 3) OCCASSIONAL TREATS: “Sometimes he would treat me with candies” or “buy or give me toys to play with”. Will be treated very special when he/she does things right and victim responds with “he/she does really care about me”, victim just put the abuse in a state of denial because victim believes it's their fault. The abuser does this to keep victim interested to stay that he/she's not bad after all. 4) FOCUS ON THE OFFENDER: “Sometimes I would I would have anxiety, worry about when he would come home and can't think of anyone else but him” or “walk on eggshells”. Live in fear & anxiety. Attend to their needs & wants thinking of next outburst and to prevent it from happening. 5) FEELINGS OF EXHAUSTION, DEPENDANCY, INCOMPETENCE: “I was never good enough for him” “No matter how hard I tried it was too much and I would break down”. Ends up breaking down and lands in the hospital with anxiety or gets sick because body is overloaded with “too much”. Tires out the victim so he/she cannot fend for themselves, weakens them physically and mentally. When visitors come around feels “not good enough”, and hides in room or works extra hard for approval with fake smiles. No where else to go because of financial issues, he or she has the money so stays. Believes they are completely dependant upon abuser. There are shelters & options available such as police etc. 6) DEMONSTRATION OF POWER: “She would hit me with a broom or shoe if I did not clean up” or “She would hit me over and over so I wouldn't forget”. The abuser wants to appear big & powerful that nothing can bring them down. In a session tell client that they can shrink the abuser to a small size where you are bigger than this abuser, always keep in mind that you are bigger than any problem you have faced. 7) DEGRADATION & HUMILATION: “Your a bad kid and just like your dad and never listen” or “Your so stupid and dumb and never going to get anywhere and end up in jail”. Humiliation or embarrassing remarks in front of coworkers or friends or on social media, putting partner or friend down. Lateral violence telling community at large about him/her to ruin his or her name or get them fired, false accusations, gossip. Keep in mind the abuser was once humiliated in front of others which is why he/she has done this to you too, but still does not make it okay. 8) ENFORCEMENT OF TRIVIAL DEMANDS: “No matter how hard I try it's never good enough for him” or “Even when I did my chores, homework, cleaned up it was not fast enough”. Made victim wash walls with a tooth brush or in a relationship abandons them in a parking lot because he/she forgot the grocery list. Victim starts believing “Maybe I am bad and something is wrong with me”.

4 - Chapter2 HOW TO CONDUCT MEDICINE WHEEL WORKSHOP In order to help people either in a group setting or one to one it is important to have either agood trusting relationship or to help them open up. I have here a list of games or ice-breakers that canbe used to help let go of any fear because when their is play fear is absent. If your are having a one toone session with someone or just to help yourself then we can skip this and on to the next area.Ice-breaker: • Make up a story: What if – Everyone has a piece of paper and write down on it without anyone seeing it and write “what if” and pass it on to next person folded so they do not see it. The person beside you answers it, and once done pass it on to next person until everyone has wrote on piece of paper. The answers will surprise you. • Introduce your name: Everyone stands in a circle and says their name out loud and then uses their finger and spells on an imaginary board, after that spells their name with their name on imaginary board. The last one you spell your name on imaginary board with your belly button • Fruit Basket: One person assigns everyone with a fruit and goes around the room and says your a apple, next one a banana, and then pear. After everyone has been assigned a fruit everyone is sitting down. The person that is standing in the middle of circle of chairs can say “fruit” then everyone has to get up and find another chair across the room or person in the middle can say “apples” then all apples get up and find another chair or even “apples and bananas!”. • Dances with broom: Need a stereo – One person operates stereo by shutting it off or on and others have to dance when music is on. One person dances with the broom, when music gets turned off everyone switches partners, last one without partne has to dance with the broom. • Face recognition: Need one bed sheet that you cannot see through and two teams and one person has to guess who's face is on the sheet when they put it against the sheet and feel their face. If your right that person who guesses who it is then they have to go on their team until last one. • 100: Everyone needs a piece of paper, pen or pencil and one dice – Everyone around either the floor or table and first one to 100 wins. If you get a 1 or a 6 when you roll the dice start writing down 1 to 100 as fast as you can, if you get a 1 or a 6 when it's your turn again start off where you left off. If the next person sitting next to you gets a 1 or a 6 then he/she can take away the pen/pencil away from you. Be careful when lifting the pen/pencil away from the other person next to you. Feel free to use your own ice-breakers. Just a heads up when we heal ourselves sometimespain comes out of our body where we may have aches and pains. This is absolutely normal when weheal as our body is rewiring itself back to a better you and therefore we have changed. I ask you totrust the process, especially yourself when running this workshop as the outcome has helped many,and that you ask participants to agree to attend both days if running this in the evenings as it doestake 2 days most times to do this. Many times we will open up when we do this workshop so thereforeit is important to follow this as outlined on here. Please keep in mind that this workshop on theMedicine Wheel relates to homes broken due to addictions, Residential School, and even those whohave had every day normal problems. This Medicine Wheel has a traditional approach taught byelders and I have combined it with some of the knowledge I have learned over the years. When youdo the role-play make sure to do sharing circle right after your done to flow through because it hitsthem and will trigger issues. Next day start the day with a Sharing Circle again (on pg 6 instructions)am just reemphasizing that sharing is important. They may share abuse so help with validation andone to one's if necessary.

5 MEDICINE WHEEL WORKSHOPNeed: Chairs – Markers – Chart Paper – Safe place without disturbances – cell phones put away and powered off– and appropriate break times and any concerns can ask participants. A minimum of 6 people or more is alwaysgood for this as a group.Boundaries: It depends with each group but basic ones I used were – Talk about issue not person – Pray forperson next to you and self – Stay til full duration of workshop – What is said here, stays hereHolistic and Spiritual: At beginning explain that the Wheel came from the 4 animals and they are the Grizzly bear because ofits hump on the back as it has a circle at the hump. Also the Moose, the White mountain goat, and askparticipants if they know the 4th one and don't tell them so they think. The last one is the buffalo. Everything hasa circle, from baby to elder as we begin life we are dependant and then become dependant again when we areold, also a Tipi is circle, the sun is circle, and ask participants what else is circle we know of. You don't have towrite anything down here just talk a bit, then onto next step.Awareness: On chart paper Brain Storm some “behaviours” of each door and start with the North door as On theNorth door this one is usually the oldest and talk about some issues and strengths of each one. Write down tohelp participants by writing that they are smart, usually have “A's and B's” in School, who we look up to, kindabossy, criticizes sometimes. The oldest is usually the parent when the parents are away somewhere, and has beenthe one that grew up too fast without their childhood looking after their siblings as well is a fast learner fromwatching their parents. They become teachers, accountants, lawyers, managers as they are thinkers. You can askparticipants what else they know about the eldest in the family about the North door's behaviours. Brainstorm the East Door's behaviours and start off that this one as a baby looked around in cupboardsand elders say “already looking for something in life”. As they got older they got in trouble at school, was abully, and fought with others a lot and ends in jail as they got older. They were told “you should be like yourolder brother/sister”. They protected family members and even lied for them by saying “it wasn't him, it wasme”. They would rather run and avoid but if provoked would fight when stressed. As they get older they becomeeither helpers in addictions or if not checked then in and out of jail. List other behaviours of the East Door. Brain storm the South door behaviours as this is the quiet one, cried when put down as a baby butwould stop as soon as you picked him/up, loner sometimes. They are shy and usually get sick a lot and developrashes, yet likes to build blocks and play by themselves as a child. They also are the tail when following an oldersibling or their parents. When they get yelled at they cry right away and sometimes develop a speechimpediment. As they get older become painters, artists, construction and even mechanics as they like to create orfix things. List other behaviours of the South Door. The youngest is the West door usually and this one is usually spoiled, has high energy, won't sleep andtosses and turns, has hyperactivity and can't stop moving in class. He or she is usually the funny guy/gal andlikes to pull pranks on others and tease a lot. As they get older they cannot stand when things get tough inrelationships and end it and if not checked become a player. They become very good at sports and are fastlearners, yet will struggle in school sometimes. Ask participants of other behaviours & write them down. Brainstorm the alcoholic and co-dependant behaviours now on the chart. Is the alcoholic rude and blackout sometimes or more nicer when intoxicated? Or is he/she rude? List some examples on the chart. The co-dependant is dependant upon the alcoholic, and the alcoholic is dependant upon the alcohol. Does the co-dependant drink? Or not at all? List some behaviours of the co-dependant. Just a note here that it is okay to listeither positive and negative behaviours as we all have different experiences and that no one is wrong whenthey answer.

6 MEDICINE WHEEL WORKSHOP ContinuedPrayers: Do a prayer before you all begin the group session and pray for one another for good health andlight a smudge either before or even now, if not just holding hands is okay to say a prayer.Kindness: Use a symbol such as feather whichever works for the group and anyone can start to talk abouttheir experiences and when they finish sharing pass the feather-some will pass the feather and that's ok.If this is a large group then make two groups and start. Make sure that the feather goes all the wayaround and if the group leader wants to stop for a break they can or even the day, but if not then we cancontinue on with role-play. You will need at least 6 people to role-play each door & as well as theparents both mom and dad to act out the behaviours. Ask everyone who wants to be North then Eastand so on, and then they can come up with a setting and role-play their door. Ask participants beforethey start if the alcoholic was a middle or even a chronic and give them examples of behaviours of eachdoor. After the role-play they can sit down again and talk about it. Important to talk about theirexperiences after Role Play is done, could last 5 to 15 minutes. This role-play might hit them andtrigger some stuff for them so be ready to validate and provide one to one if necessary. This may take along process but allow it to be done as it is difficult to say how long this talking circle will take but doremind them before you begin the talking circle how much time may be left. You will need at least anhour to 3 hours to complete the circle if your on a time frame. The next day start the day with an ice-breaker & have another talking circle again and talk aboutanything else that the group would like to share. After everyone has had a chance to talk do the wholewheel on flip-chart-pass handouts on Medicine Wheel on pages 7 & 8. The group may feel tired anddrained and let them know that it is normal to feel that way. Explain the wheel that because ofResidential School or alcohol/drug abuse that behaviours will happen at home and this is how we aregoing to fix ourselves up. You can share that as a facilitator that Creator is Creator and not the parentsas our experiences made us believe that because of our mom and dad we viewed creator as someonewho was not there maybe or any other thoughts about it. We know now that Creator is kind, honest,sharing, and strong and we can ask for his help and mother earth to guide us along. As kids we weretaught to not talk, feel, trust, and see the good way that was there all along. Our behaviours were thereto help us but in the long run hurt us. We now have to re-learn by understanding, seeking, nurturing,and growing from our own hurt. It is important to fill out all Goals, Issues, Needs, Actions and Fears onchart paper after Talking Circle after you did the role play. This way everyone is now aware. We can replace with new goals perceptions, affirmations such as “I am important” every daywhen we look at ourselves in the mirror even if it makes us feel stupid but one day you will understandand believe it. Let the group know that it was not safe before to talk about anything but today it is andinclude that it is also safe to share, open up, cry, and even rant and to give themselves permission to doso. To find someone to talk to that they feel safe with when on their own healing journey is importantas there may be more yet to share and in time it does get better. It is courageous to talk about our ownexperiences and that it was good we ran away or even had to lie to be safe and that today it is okay tobe honest. The steps outlined on the following pages show what to do to fix themselves even moreclearer and to continue on learning. Give page 7 & 8 to all participants so they can see for themselves.Humility We become aware that we are humble and that we do not know as much as we thought, and thatthere are many things to learn about ourselves and others including friendships and relationships. Welearn that we attract what we believe and create our own life and are responsible for our actions.Strength: We end the group session with handshakes and hugs for everyone and even some validation andsupport for one another. You as a facilitator can say to them that they are “okay” and that they arealright. Ask them to thank themselves for being courageous and brave today. End of session.

7 North Door Mind 4-Honesty-Summer-Teenager OldestThey say “I never cry” GOAL: Power Little parent-responsibleHas the money ISSUE: Control Become teachers, C.E.O.wants to be in charge NEED: To Understand accountants & managersCriticizes others because they ACTION: To think for others too Most times moves awaywere when they were young ROLE: To provide self worth for Born in the summerWas shamed yet very strong family pain Born leader-Self is Creatorfor the family so shames others FEAR: Helplessness-powerlessness Likes antiques, atheist?Intelligent/smart, Corrects others Don't feel Quick decisions, righteous 7) STRENGTHDon't see good way Don't trustYoungest West door: East Door:Body 3-Share-Spring-Baby 6) HUMILITY Spirit -Strength-Fall-AdultGOAL: To be comforted/held GOAL: To be above others ISSUE: Defiance-runs/avoidsISSUE: Attention seeking NEED: To be protected ACTION: Seeks MeaningNEED: To be protected/safe ROLE: Provides distraction & focusACTION: To act to family pain FEAR: Being hurt-violated-controlledROLE:To provide fun Ill humour, makes choices on personal excitement, bully at SchoolFEAR: Being worthless or separation/loss asks “what do you mean” evenUsually the youngest, spoiled, picked on, 5) SHARING though you explained it. Never comes home, Creator is Creator, Prays in/outCan't sleep, can't sit still, funny of detention or jail-In touch with spiritAnything for a laugh, athletes lucky in life, prays As a baby lookedshort term relationships, funnyrejects people, places & things around everywhere searching forwhen life gets tough, copies you something. Insightful, joins gangs to belong, angry at parents for notCreator is parents, nice clothes 4) HONESTY being there to protect him/her or not believing them. Runs away or avoidsLoves being in relationships-only Go to that hurtlikes the honeymoon stagethen leaves-fantasizes lotsActors, centre of attention 3)KINDNESSGets bored easily, sleeps a lotTries very hard, talks a lot 2) AWARENESS 1) HOLISTIC/SPIRITUAL Don't talk South Door Emotions 2-Kind-Winter-Elder In abusive relationshipIn/out of shelters, quiet, fast readers GOAL: To be taken care ofLooks for parents-creative-spends ISSUE: To please Can't say no-Gets sick lotstime by themselves Nervous, writes NEED: Nourishment Cried a lot as a childn journals, takes time to respond Action: To cry Indecisive-Loner-invisiblePeople are the Creator-aloof ROLE: Provide relief 4 family Builds blocks, puzzlesdon't notice them sitting there then FEAR: Unloved-insignificant Creative, artist, sensitive

8 MEDICINE WHEEL WORKSHOP ADDICT & CO DEPENDANTThe Addict & Co-dependant The addict is usually the last person to know they have a problem while everyone else knows they do,and no matter how hard they try to stop, they find it too difficult and continue. The addict relies on the addiction,and the co-dependant relies on the addict and both do not get their needs met. The Co-Dependant relies on othersto “get others” to do things for them. To be loved is important but connecting to anyone can do whether itsfriends or family. True connection is when we heal through our elders or ceremony. ADDICT: Mind & Body GOAL: Relief or Sobriety ISSUE: Lashing out or Repression - Substance abuse NEED: To be important or Certain ACTION: To connect ROLE: Provide satisfaction & to be content FEAR: Trapped in agony or hurting others, deprivedI am happy if others gave me what I want-Thinks that fulfillment is somewhere else-Is enthused by things theylove-Anticipates the future-Talks about how they feel when they are under the influence-funny & outgoingStressed out when they are craving-Fixated on the next outing with friends to get drunk or next high-LiesCan't stand to be alone so invites others over-Feels alone because spirit is far away-A do as I say rather than doas I do attitude-Experiences shakes or cold sweats-Feels something touch them but nothing there-Hallucinates-Gets bored easily-Makes choices on excitement and fear-defensive-Sees their problem as a small issue-Authoritative-Loses relationships through Criticism & Contempt-Sticks to what is familiar -Obnoxious-Trusts noone due to bad experiences-Searches for satisfaction & fulfillment but isn't-Narcissist-Blackouts-abusive-vulgar CO-DEPENDANT: Emotions & Body GOAL: Serenity ISSUE: Repression or being displaced - Enables NEED: Love/Connection or Growth ROLE: To be good or look good FEAR: Being bad or corruptFeels responsible for all the bad things going on at home or believes they are bad-ends up in shelters sometimesSearches for improvement & integrity-Resentful towards self & those around them-Moral obligation to stay thanleave I am right most of the time, others should listen to me-Not aware of their ego-Covering up to protect othersbehaviours-Lies for the addict-In a relationship based on need rather than out of respect-Being suspicious whenloved-feels not worthy of love, sabotages relationship sometimes-Quiet-I am reasonable and objective personSometimes drink or does drugs or not at all-Burned out from so many responsibilities-Never feels good enough-Loses relationships through Defensiveness & Doing nothing about the problem-Rather keep things in thenexplodes May suffer from ulcers and constant worry for others but not self-Abused-Denies whats going on athome Does a lot for the wrong people, faulty to think the worst-kids act out-Gives in or runs away The parents usually have been raised by their parents who either went to Residential School or by addictionswhich explains why they raised you the way they did. From one generation to another behaviours are passed on to thenext and it is only you who can stop the next generation of addictions and enabling behaviour. As we begin to learnhere, we see that we need to divorce our parents ways yet love them as they did the best they could with what theyknew how. Our parents for some of us did not know what happened to us, and or did not believe us when we told themour secrets. We see these behaviours as an issue that some of us can identify with but it is not who we really are, andyes there are many positive things about our parents too. We are aware that there are times when they showed theirlove to us, and did give us great experiences that we can cherish. The way to heal ourselves is already on the previouspage or through treatment in an addictions centre or through therapy, counselling, church and ceremony. The paths torecovery can be through Alcoholics Anonymous as it has helped so many people as well. Sometimes we can believe inour home and provide the needs there, and can keep our kids safe as sometimes it was tragic when kids are taken fromagencies because of addictions. The question we can ask ourselves is “what is the price we pay to be important, toconnect with another? Or to find satisfaction elsewhere?” Speak to your guide about your answers.

9 – Chapter 3 Opposites ATTRACTION Attract North:Since they are usually born in summer they start off their conversations with “I think” when someone talksabout their feelings to them. They attract those that are in touch with their emotions like the South Door because theyare not, and have the illusion that they will be whole when they do but realize later they need to talk about how theyfeel. Sometimes the North Door is superior therefore attracts someone who feels inferior, and that both are identical.The North Door in some way has been abused mentally and never cries because it is a sign of weakness to them. Theywould rather go out onto the land to let out what they may be carrying, and have a good cry as it has been tough ontheir mind or leave altogether and move away. When they enter a relationship they want to be in charge, and has themoney and makes the decisions. Since he/she went through some type of abuse they attract someone who also has hada similar lifestyle and has been through abuse as well. The North Door people are task oriented people and wouldrather throw themselves in many responsibilities to be loved and appreciated by others as they believe if they areresponsible, they matter. When the North Door balances out tasks and their relationships more often, less stress it willbe on their partner. This can work if they begin to learn about one another as each has the piece the other is missing.Learn how to be a kid again, and find joy in laughter. East:The East Door are usually born in the Fall & in touch with their spirit, and starts off with excitement towardsanother. They attract those who are in touch with their body like the West Door who wants to hug and hold themwhere areas the East door isn't. especially if they had a significant loss, would rather keep it in and not show how theyfeel to anyone. Sometimes unplanned pregnancies happen and would rather run or avoid people places, and thingsthan face it. The idea he or she has if they connect with someone from opposite sex is to be complete but also find outthey need to be in touch with their body. In some way has been abused so therefore is “somewhere else” in their mindwhen talking to them. To try and be with the East Door may be difficult because they can be constantly on the go, andthe West Door would rather go than be uncertain. Sometimes the East Door can be violent and abusive as they havetrouble dealing with their emotions and lack expressing anger which explains why they end up in jail or hospitalsometimes. The East Door are task oriented people who like to do things and keep busy and not so much therelationship as it is tough on their emotions so it's important to balance out both tasks and their relationships. Here thetwo can learn together and can work if one another listens and learns together. South:Those on this door are usually born in Winter and are usually the most gifted out of all the doors spiritually asthey are in touch with their emotions. They have many experiences to share once they are comfortable being with youand start conversations with “I feel” as they attract the North Door most times. They have a hard time making up theirmind, and reflect on decisions for a very long time, but the North Door can make quick decisions and they admire thatin them. Here we have the heart and mind together and each has the piece that is missing yet find issues because theyhave trouble when talking about feelings (north) and thoughts (south). The South Door has suffered some type ofabuse usually emotionally which is why they are reserved and quiet around others. Once they open up they can bequite a joy, and are humorous to be around. To the South Door doing nothing about problems is a hope that it will goaway or get better when actually it does not. The North Door usually gets after him/her and challenges the South Doorto do something about the problem so it is solved. The South Door are relationship oriented as they put this as apriority as being close to someone matters most to them to be loved. It can work if they start off with small tasks thatneed to be done so less stress on one another or to say no more often. If the South Door can learn to say what theythink and the North Door can talk about how they feel it can work. West:The West Door usually is not a shy person and enjoys a lot of friends and likes to have variety in theirrelationships which is why they are in and out of them, and will get bored easily afterwards. This is a way to avoidfeeling pain so it is a survival way of living, and also why they are attracted to the East Door. The East Door has theanswer to them as the West Door is in touch with their body and likes to be held and comforted and meanwhile theEast Door likes to be alone and spends time away and they admire that in them. West Door has to have sound orpeople and cannot stand it when it's boring so will be with friends and relationships such as the East Door who alsohas humour but is ill humour. They like being centre of attention and the East Door does not, being gregarious andeverywhere is how he/she likes to live their life. A spontaneous person who is fun to be around and never takesanything serious provides humour to the relationship. They are relationship oriented and put that first in their liveseven in friendships so putting energy into what needs to be done is important. When West Door chooses relationshipsit's important to learn to be strong. Here this one if they focus on spirituality and ceremonies they can heal, and it'simportant to be alone for the next 6 months or more so they can go through their emotions when they are alone.

10 Safe – Caution – Secrets On this segment we will work on who our safe people are by making a dot on the largest circle withoutusing names just a dot, on the 2nd circle middle one we will make a dot for people, places or things that we arecautious about. This cautious area could be about seeing an ex who we may see and have issues with or an oldemployer that still may need attention to deal with. The smallest circle is secrets that we only know about and wewould rather not tell. Keep in mind it is okay to “not” share a secret if it is going to kill you or hurt more ifshared, the idea here is to help you be a better you. A secret is something we do not want anyone to know aboutbut if the time is right and your around safe people than now is the time to bring it out because maybe that's whatis needed to feel better and to be refreshed. Use the colour green to represent safe people and make a dot, forcaution use the colour yellow, and red for secrets as no one will know but you. Those that share their secretswhat happens is you get comfort just like sitting around the fire, those who do not, end up being on the outer endof the fire where it is cold. You can use this as part of the Medicine Wheel workshop depending on time. Thenice thing about this is you do not have to use any names just the sense of it, and how it makes you feel which isa safe approach to healing. This good for one to one's or groups or during a home visit with a client.Now that we identified the green for safe people, yellow for caution such as those we want to avoid that drink or do drugs we can now be more aware, as well the secrets which explains our behaviours. How can we build our character if we have nothing to push us, therefore being uncomfortable with something can lead us to growth and a better understanding of our true selves.

11 FREEDOM OR FEAR2 out of 10 people do it this way Baby, Freedom, new self, relationship Original way beginning of time Healthy you, new life new beginning 4 Mind intelligent Everyone's intelligent Empowers others What do you think you Should do?3 Physical Act 1 Spirit Prime ForceBody Language Creator – spend time Boundaries Praying first habit 2 Emotion Love Talk it out Healing1) Creator 2) Soul - love 3)Emotions - senses 4) Body - cues signals 5) Mind - humility vulnerability Today's Society goes this way or teaches us this way8 out of 10 people do it this way 1) Mind – greed control demand you should do this2) Body – act flirt cues 4) Creator – guidance Eyes safe/sunsafe Bargain, sorry honest vs Lie, now your praying 3) Feel – love/rage no talk vs Talking it out let it out 1) Mind Manipulate 2) Body passive/aggressive 3) Feel quiet vs loud 4) Creator prayers A choice how we live whether things go wrong we can start a habit of prayer daily, being humbleotherwise one day something will happen where our ego will be broken (off high horse). When we live a kind and humble life we become thankful for each day, and treat others kindly or live a life of noclose friendships just acquaintances. When we live that good life our life invites new good people, andif we live by ego than our life can spiral downwards and therefore we ourselves are responsible and we find out we have no control. Love one another and get along are key today as life can be tough so we need cooperation and sharing to make it a good life for one another.

12 – Chapter 4 ALTERNATIVES 4 PARENTS Young people and children do the things they do because they get something out of it when they behavea certain way. It could be either positive or negative but the outcome is what they wanted therefore some act outto show they are hurt or angry. Through trial & error and consistency to keep them safe with whats going tohappen giving them predictability, and Consistency they improve over time.Child's Faulty Child's goal Parents feeling Child's response Alternatives forBelief and reaction to parent's parents correctionI belong only when I West Door: Attention Feeling: Annoyed Temporarily stops Ignore misbehaviouram being noticed or Reaction: Tendency tobeing served remind and coax misbehaviour, then when possible, give resumes afterwards or attention for positive disturbs in another way behaviours when child is not making a bid for it. Avoid undue service. Praying together with kids and hugs daily will help with behaviours and that reminding, coaxing and undue service do not work.I belong only when I'm North Door: Control Feeling: Angry, Active or passive Withdraw from powerin control or when provoked as if one's aggressive – struggle – work withproving no one can own authority is misbehaviour is child & ask how bothboss me threatened. intensified or child you & child can solve Reaction: Tendency to submits with defiant issue and give fight or get even. compliance “slams examples and make Irritation door” agreement. Realize that arguing/fighting only increases power struggle.I belong only when East Door: Revenge Feeling: Deeply hurt Seeks to further Avoid being hurt – Reaction: Tendency to revenge by avoid retaliation &hurting others as I feel retaliate or get even. intensifying punishment. Buildhurt & cannot be loved misbehaviour or get trusting relationship by another weapon doing what you say. Convince child he/she is loved by saying your not going to give up on him/her, be patientI belong only by South Door: Feeling: Passively responds or Stop all criticism,convincing others not Display of inadequacy encourage any positiveto expect anything Despair/hopeless I give fails to respond to attempt no matter howfrom me, am unable small it is. Above alland am helpless up whatever is done, do not be hooked into it by self-pity and do Reaction: Tendency to shows no not give up. agree with child improvement. nothing can be done

13 MEDICINE WHEEL PARKED CAR Here is another exercise to start off a group session with your clients, and that you can ask each member to put a dot where they are at. This helps with identifying any issues that may be sitting there and everyone has an opportunity to talk about it prior to your workshop. Make sure to put down 4boundaries prior to starting, and you need flip chart and makers. Anywhere between 30 to 60 minutes is sufficient for this session. The biggest circle represents not wanting to be here and ask why, and the middle area is here but something is bugging you, and the smallest circle everything is going well. 1) Do you feel safe or am I being judged? 2) Do I feel like I won't be accepted? 3) Anything in mind that makes it difficult being here? 4) Is there something maybe I left behind?

14 REALIZATION OF BEHAVIOURSWhere and when did our learned behaviour come from? There are reasons why we behave the way we do when we are our lesser selves although we have a higher self. Take a look at this and answer it honestly, can burn the paper afterwards to let go as part of your healing and awareness. Talk to someone afterwards. Write down in a book somewhere if you choose and share it. NORTH – Mind Where and when did you learn to be more responsible and worry than you should be? Where did you learn to try control others? When did you learn to stop crying & be a kid again that it is okay? EAST – Spirit Where and when did you learn to be angry? and to run and avoid? Where and when did you learn to hurt others even those close to you? SOUTH Emotions Where and when did you learn to show you can't do anything right? And to reject anyone who gets close to you? Where and when did the sadness begin and cannot say no? WEST Body Where and when did you learn to try get attention from others/parents? Where and when did you start escaping reality? How come relationships do not last (sometimes)?

15 – Chapter 5 4 AREAS The following here shows that everyone has 4 parts to themselves, and that we need to allow room to be given feedback. Feedback is what helps us grow, and that medicines such as understanding, protection or being safe, nurturing, and growth are important for each of us. Keep in mind that as anexample we can say that everyone does not know they have bad breath, therefore it is always someone else that tells us that we do, just the same way as behaviours. Here is the diagram that explains this,allow space to learn and understand from others. Allow someone to tell you anything and listen to what they have to say because either people will tell you or the universe will.1) What people see that everyone knows: Your looks, nice clothes, either messy or clean, how youcarry yourself, and how you perceive yourself as you want others to see you. Image is important as howwe want others to see us whether we are rich or poor, or if we are sick or not.2) What you hide from others: Secrets, problems, that fake smile, what your truly thinking and feeling,truth or lies. What could be bothering you can show or not, and what may have happened in your lifeno one knows but you but can show through behaviours.3) What people notice about you that you don't know: Bad breath, your potential & talents, strengths &weaknesses. People will respond to you either constructively or destructively. Here you train peoplehow to treat you based on how you behave as your unconsciously unaware, and others make you awareof it. You either look at it or defend yourself, not everyone is attacking you but care about you.4) What you see in others: Talents and weaknesses, strengths attributes, how you respond to them andreally is a reflection of yourself because you can identify with it. Here you can find the problem insomeone and then change yourself what you see out there in others. When you see someone whojudges a lot, it could be a reflection of you who judges, therefore you can change it. Our whole being is rather the higher self or lower self, the lower self being irresponsible and prone toaddiction and an attitude. The higher self is more loving and compassionate towards others, and is more likely to be responsible. The more we become aware of ourselves it is like having an adult watching you which is your own self that can be aware of your own behaviour. We become like those who we hang out with and therefore we do what they do. It is a good idea to find others who have similar interests that are on the road to recovery and want that good life as we do.

16 SOLVING INNER CONFLICT “When you don't know what you want the subconscious chooses for you and strongest wants wins” NORTH:The North Door already knows strategies to success and they zero in on it towards their target . They ask, learn,understand & practice what worked before and succeed. The 2nd thing they do is get the best tools available to them,and put them to use. The 3rd area they do is solve the inner conflict they have, and most times it's psychologically. Theinner conflict could be that your not used to making $50,000 a year and are used to welfare for example. Part of youbelieves your not worthy of such an amount because of what you believe of yourself as success is 80%psychologically and 20% mechanics. Resolve the inner conflict by looking at why the issue is there, it could be that ifyour successful you may may not be loved or be talked about in a negative manner. This is fear stopping you as that isits duty, that inner voice you hear needs to be replaced that its okay to make a lot of money by going back to School.Yes you will be uncomfortable but that's where the miracles happen. Poverty does create post trauma in some families,yet many families & friends have had success when they go back to School or find training. Conflicts with otherNorth Doors is usually about issues with control, what irritates you about them is what you created & see in yourself *get along. Learn to have compassion (feel) for others. EAST:The East Door who has had issues with authority & an attitude may struggle with other people, yet when they actuallydecide on a goal such as employment they do it. The tools they used have become strategies to get where they wantbecause they have done it before. The real issue though is identity crisis. An identity crisis is when we want to becomeeither a student or have employment but the conflict is not making up your mind or finishing what you started outwith. The conflict here is fear, of being judged or being trapped but the reality is that there are many programs inCollege or University that do not require a C-Pic or a criminal record check. There are many elders so ask around orgo where you have to find healing. The other issue is to “want” things such as your family together, stay out oftrouble, stay clean/sober, get high/drunk, move away and cannot decide so strongest “wants” wins. Be clear and thebest one is being a worker at ceremonies as you will get/receive your answers there. Meditation can really uplift yourspirit, and being able to astral project could be natural for you. Many issues arise because of not knowing how toexpress proper communication so how can you send a clear message to someone without contempt or violence? In akind manner. Learn to know (see) that there is a good way in life. SOUTH:The South door is used to being in it's own world but the magic happens when they leave their shell. The issue here isstonewalling, and getting out of the shell does take time. The issue here is the inner conflict of whether your goodenough and challenging that inner voice we may sometimes hear. That inner voice could be saying very harsh wordssuch as “your ugly, fat, no one will like you” and can be quite cruel. Those harsh words do affect our choices anddecisions and it is only us that hears this. The challenge here is to say to say to the critic that “you're not helpfulanymore and have no time for this”. Every day to tell yourself your worthy, confident, and able to be successful. Thecritic's duty is just to stop you or to keep you safe, it worked when we were younger but not anymore as adults. By theway you been taught that sex was bad as a child but actually is okay with someone you are trying to be with, and noyou ain't going to hell. It is time to start believing people when they say positive things to you, and your potential.Learn to understand that when someone goes they are not abandoning you, yet everyone needs time alone includingyou. You can become business minded and be very successful if you wanted to be, as well as making crafts, writingbook or even making a log home as you see things in your mind how things can be done. Your creativity is by far thebest, and what your passionate about will come easy, make up your mind and go for it without. Most of all talk aboutit as that is what will get you places. WEST:The West Door became good at sports, dancing, singing and other related physical events because they saw it in theirmind prior to going out there and practising. They are very competitive & want to be the best so put forth so muchphysical energy that they don't even rest at times. One issue they have is being “somewhere else, imagining orfantasizing” when they need to be focused on their studies or their work. To fantasize a lot does relieve stress as notbeing there mentally but physically works but only for a short time but can have dire consequences. Anyoneprocrastinates and this bad habit can become a daily routine if not checked, but to be aware of it is to set a goal and getit. To become spiritually active is crucial to become balanced for the West Door and more calm so that way the mindis at ease. The main objective for this door is spirituality and to start going to ceremonies that help with becomingconnected to the land, and elders. To learn to be respectful of the opposite sex is important as karma can play a role ifno morals are present. Understand that what you do to others you also do to yourself and laws of karma are alwayspresent. Learn to share good thoughts that way you find balance with yourself and guaranteed you will sleep better.

17 ACTIONS TO SUCCESS The success for 4 doors North – Mind Manager East – Ceremonies/helper South – Create projects West- AthleteABILITIES ACTION BELIEF OUTCOMEATTITUDE ABILITIES We may think of our Abilities when we think about what we want to do with our life to create purpose andmeaning. We know that a life of drugs & alcohol is meaningless and has had some destructive consequences and that we may blame our parents or Residential School for how we turned out. We might as blame them for oursuccess too because if it weren't for that we wouldn't be where we are at for those who are doing well today. To put things off is not an option. Our potential is our hope to get where we want to be, and the 2nd one is action ACTIONWhen we take massive action whether it is to stay sober, or go to school or get employment we start seeing thatwe can do it. If we set up ourselves to fail such as going to the bar and then challenging ourselves if we can quitthen your doing it wrong, most likely end up drinking again. If we take a lot of action we see our results, it is the results that determine whether we believe in ourselves, and our attitude as well. If we had taken a little actionand expect huge results it ain't going to work. It depends on massive action that we will achieve where we want to be such as being sober, because we want it that bad. When we become successful we begin to believe in ourselves. OUTCOME Our results determine how much action we have taken and now we see what it takes to either stay sober, start a new career or even a new business plan that your passionate about. We either did it right or wrong depending who we shadowed and learned from, and if you don't like your results it's back to taking action again. It takesmassive action to get the results you want, keep in mind there are those who do everything for nothing, and thosewho do nothing for everything by having faith. Your faith is based on what you can do especially when you didnot know you could. Your results then become a belief and depending on your results your attitude too changes. BELIEF ATTITUDE Here we begin to see that we now believe in ourselves and knew we could do it whether we were very scared, and unsure but knew deep down you can. If the results were what you wanted then your belief in yourself changes because of all the work you put in and now you reap the benefits. Your attitude has changed and nowhave purpose and meaning that was not there before. We are all here to choose what life we want to live so mightas well make it a good life. To have a career and provide for our families or just yourself does bring purpose and meaning to your life, many people have quit substances and have had successful lives afterwards and you can too. Magic happens when your uncomfortable. DEPENDING ON HOW MUCH “ACTION” WE HAVE TAKEN EITHER OUR BELIEF IN OURSELVESDECREASES OR INCREASES. REMEMBER YOU ARE CAPABLE OF ANYTHING SO ACTION EQUALS BELIEF

18 PARTNERSHIPS 1) Needs & Wants Both work out problems 7) Crunch-divorce Moved & work together Out, kids back & Forth loss & Healing explode6) Ambiguity -lack of 2) Role-Clarity Be a friend Clarity/vagueness Shared responsibilities uncertainty Trust is there Communication 5) Uncertainty 3) StabilityFear & doubt either act out Accountable to your own Or believe what your Actions, look at self thinking Before you speak 4) Pinch Problems Concerns arise but either Solved or start over at Number 1 Needs & wants to either Make it or break itWhen you want growth in your relationship you have to help your partner grow, same as lovetoo you have to give that to receive. When 2 people go into a boat, they both have to help oneanother to go where they want to, despite rough currents and rapids as it can become achallenge sometimes. If one person paddles one way and the other the other way then no onegoes anywhere. Work out what ever happened and do your best, Creator knows who was tryingand understands. When you both work together you get what you want, but if you don't no onegets anything. Work together you get strength. This was stated by an elder.

19 – Chapter 6 CRITIC EXCERSIZE It was determined that healing occurs when someone talks from their body such as “my chest feels heavy, or “my stomach feels tight”, or when they talk about that sadness they feel in the body. Thosethat talk just from their mind and say “I had a good day but it was rather tough, actually do not heal atall and stay the same. It was found in the late 60's that study was found by Dr. Eugene Gendlin of NewYork U.S.A. That why so many found healing, and others did not. It was concluded that those who just talk from their mind stay the same and things repeat themselves. Those who talked from their body found healing, and once they connected with their senses/feelings then changed occurred. Their is arewiring of the brain when people heal and change as soon as they talk from their body. To talk from amemory place too can provide healing when we share our experiences. The critic is usually from a hurtplace, and here we will take a look at this and I ask you to share this with a counsellor or someone you feel safe with afterwards if your doing this alone.1) What is a critic? A critic is an inner voice that says bad, mean, hurtful things and sometimes with no reason, that create harm with devastating consequences. Brain storm the critic, and what it says to you when you apply for job, trying to make a new friend, or asking a question, and even asking someone for a date. What voice do you hear when you do something new? When you make a mistake or someone else does, what does this inner voice say? Write this down.2) Select a current issue: (one only, maybe the worst one) connect with the critic was really interfering with you, observe what the critic looks like, and how it was talking to you. What does the critic say? 2 minutes spend on it3) Draw the critic and its words: Take your paper and draw what the critic looks like, and the words you hear it saying. When your done take a look at it for a bit.4) Set the issue and critic aside: You can fold or turn the paper over and put it away for now so you cannot see it 1 minute5) Bring attention to your body: Now sense what's going on inside of your body about this critic, where are you taking all those critical blows? Where does it hit the most? Is it in the chest, throat or stomach? Is it a head ache, a punch in the face, where do you sense the head ache in the body – is it the tightening in the chest? 2 minutes6) Link with history: Just notice the felt sense in your body, is it a familiar sense or is it new? Or was this an old feeling/sense? When was the first time you ever felt something like this before? 2 minutes7) Attend to hurt place “forward moving”: What is it this old or current place needs to make it OKAY for you? Wait and allow that answer to come through from way down inside of you. How can you gently attend to that hurt place? What does this place need to hear from you now to help, and soothe it?8) Close history “Safety”: Being the best you know how to be, what do you need to attend to that place again safely so you can come back to that later? 2 minutes or less9) Review picture: Take a look at the picture you have drawn, is there anything about that picture that reminds you of the hurt place you connected with? Is the picture familiar from an earlier time? The critic is often from an earlier place in time and a past hurt that needs attending to. 2 minutes10) Action step: As you come back to today from looking at this, ask yourself “whats new about this?” Pause for a bit, now ask yourself “if there was one small action step you can take to help work towards resolving your issue. 2 minutes or less

20 SEASONS MEDICINE WHEEL Elder BabyEmotions - WINTER - Kind Physical – SPRING – ShareThose born here are usually the emotional Those born here are physically activeDoor, usually the most spiritually gifted they are physically gifted, fast learnersThey are the most kind. They eat when sad. By watching what you do, they will do.Replace eating with talking about it. Eat a lot of junk food but has highFeasts are done around this time to honour metabolism. Instead of Creator asloved ones who passed on. Change your parents, learn to pray to Creator &music to happier ones, get involved in Mother Earth you will sleep better asphysical activity such as walking, insomnia is an issue. Mediation ordancing, or take classes or sports going to ceremonies will balance youDo not worry, only imaginary audience It is okay to hear the word no sometimesEvery time you see yourself in the mirror It's okay for others to win, you did greattell yourself your important, every day Grow from mistakes instead of repeating Adult TeenagerFALL – Spirit – Strength Mind – SUMMER – HonestThose born here are usually searching for Those born here are usually the oldestsomething. Always on the go in/out of the It is okay to be a kid, to tease or be teaseddoor, parents worry. Learn to understand that Try not to be too hard on yourself and beit is okay to be close to someone, to hug them kind, forgive more often and let things goand that your worthy of love and to allow it Surrender means you did your best, andwhen you feel like pushing someone away. Now let it be, it's okay to not be in controlPeople tend to look for what's missing and that It's okay things are not ready, be patienttheir own spirit. It is okay to find other parents Learn to talk about your story to anotherthat you can be close to, and to forgive yours This season is about making up your mindas they most likely do not know your secrets You become strong when you say theor story. Fall is a time to brush off the old and things you're going to do, and weak wheninvite the new in your life by prayers you do not.Seasons are there to help us change from our Spirit, to emotions, body, and mind so that we becomestrong with these 4. This represents kindness to talk about it, sharing to change your story to goodones instead of same old story, think good thoughts Summer, and to pray whether things are good ornot. Daily habits of prayer does help over time especially when we want prayers it will work out.

21 To wish for – CRAVINGS - To long for A craving is there to to make us feel good or satisfied whether it is food when your sad, or sex,drugs, alcohol, dancing, singing, hunting, music, sugar, playing guitar or anything to create this feelingyou desire. A craving starts when we have temptations either positive or negative. When you see acouple who are in love, you are actually seeing an illusion of what that feels like and wish for that inyour life and sometimes may envy them or be in awe. Sometimes cravings can be too much to ignoreso it over powers you to seek out someone, a place or thing to make you feel better. It is being able tocreate a feeling that what your going through such as despair to feel alive again or be to in love forexample. A craving could be wanting to drink or do drugs, steal, fight, be in a gang to belong in,damage someones property just to alleviate the pent up emotions. All these cravings and temptationscreate feelings of being powerful because your feeling powerless, or to feel sexy, wanted by someoneor chased because you left someone or was cheated on, and to be proud or be in control. Sometimes wewant to be confident because when sober we are afraid or we think we are courageous when drunk, butoften don't realize that rage or a lot of anger is loss of control. Too many times we have heard that thesecravings had led some people into dangerous activities such as breaking & entering, losing a limb orloss of a relationship due to being tempted. Do we crave love in our life to be unconditional, couragewhen sober, or being able to be vulnerable which is authentic power? It is up to you.1) Identify some things you crave for that is exciting yet causes fear at the sametime:____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________2) What alternatives can you do instead of negative cravings? ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________3) Have cravings caused destruction due to fast driving or loss of some sort, if so what was it? ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________4) Name some things that we can find alternatives instead of drinking or doing drugs to make you feelbetter: __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________5) Usually people who are sad, lonely or depressed don't do anything physical and would rather eat ordrink or do drugs, what kinds of physical activities do you either want to learn or start doing to createfeelings of satisfaction? ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Note: It is normal and natural for anyone to have cravings for practically anything, yet when it costs your relationship, job or home then there is a likely an addiction. The price to be important or to be wantedcan be either a good thing or bad thing. To crave a good, healthy life is worth time and energy. To crave a healthy free lifestyle is worth the thought & energy.

22 - Chapter 7 MAKE UP YOUR MINDThe 4 sins that breaks a relationship apart are defensiveness, criticism, stone-walling or doing nothingabout it, and contempt. Be aware of this and seek answers to heal within to help your home & children.Every home needs forgiveness, love and trust to make it work. What you put up with you allow. To help ourselves we need ceremony or a path that fulfills our spirit and harmony with anotherSingle life Marriage life Jail We are all here in the Earth School as Creator loved us so much that he gave us freedom to choose what we want out of life. He gave us laws to live by for guidance and direction, for those who do not know those laws,and live irresponsibly we either pay for it in jail or consequences, losses of friendships or relationships, and jobs etc. We all had that time to help ourselves when we were single, and if we do not, and end up in a relationship, we attract someone who may not have helped themselves either and one or both end up in jail or separation. When we have love in our life we are happy and healthier, and we become better when we help one other and empower them to have the same, and then we attract someone identical as you. What happens to you also happens to others, a community is one person, a person is a community for when we connect with others weconnect with their circle. Responsible choice is our true way of living as irresponsible choices may leads us into addictions. What is necessary to change in another really is identical to what needs to be changed in you. Apersonality is in it to get what they want, an authentic person is in it to give or help you. Who ever is the stronger one wins. Only way to grow, change, and better yourself is to help your partner grow, change themselves and therefore you do. Responsible choices leads us into our accountability and honesty, and irresponsibility is toavoid pain and looking at ourselves. Sometimes we need to give a choice to the other by asking treatment or jail when one displays negative behaviour. Be courageous to look at your own pain, and you will become your authentic self and will align yourself with the universe.

23 YOU MATTER North:Oldest Mind I matter to my family when I am the Star in class & successful, good grades there I become a teacher, manager, teacher, counsellor. For I was denied the pain within me by my parents and found love insuccess. Now I have full control or manipulate you so it won't happen again. This is why I gave up my reality & escape. I will heal, fix, impose, lecture you, for I was not allowed to feel compassion, love, freedom, and acceptance by mom/dad. I was taught to love this way, and sometimes am in denial.Need: Self love, satisfaction, honest is power, I am enough and satisfied with what I do, I give myselfpermission to play and cry, humility, in touch with feelings again, let go of obligation, not alone. East: Spirit I matter to my family when I am blamed/scapegoated, therefore I blame too, in detention, blow ups, in/out of jail push away love so I cannot hurt anyone when I am alone-abandon family/kids, unprotected I don't feel safe so join gangs, “paranoid someone's after me or following me” they feel their own spirit behind them that's why or see their spirit, run, abandoned, avoid authority, retaliate, gets even, holds onto pain this way, therefore I wasn't loved “I tried to tell you by acting out because someone hurt me” It's your fault I am this way,Need: To grieve & cry & be human, to be in touch with body, you're safe, it's okay to be in true love. South: Feel I matter to my family when I am lost, isolated-not causing drama, withdrawn/invisible, rejected by family/friends so I reject others, cry, sadaholic, sad music, depressed, holding onto painful memories what's left, afraid, secretive, quiet, hard to get to know, creative, makes art, good drawers, silly, accident prone, avoids crowds, embarrassed easily, aloof, this way that way no one knows me or mystory for I cannot be accepted as I was rejected therefore I reject, abandoned therefore abandoned you, I will serve others so I can find belonging & please you to like me but not myself to get needs met.Need: Validation I'm loved unconditionally, learn to say no, I am important, nurture, take opportunities West: Body Youngest I matter to the family when I am sick, mascot, nervous, good at sports, get allergies/asthma, rashes, premature born, baby in family, exhibitionist, embarrass you, under false illusion is whole in a relationship, gives compliments for sex, immature (Peter Pan never grows up), follows parents everywhere-tail, serves you, actor and funny, therefore I wasn't comforted by mom/dad and this way I have become like this to seek attention to be loved, boundaries are open to others openly, hugs and isgregarious, great dancer & singer, egotistical, only like the honeymoon stage of relationship then leavesNeed: Growth, maturity, trust, to be in touch with spirit, to be alone and learn spirituality, self love/healYou matter to Creator and Mother Earth and even more so when you relearn what love is and work needed within yourself to become a new and better you. You matter because you chose your parents before you were born to learn in this Earth School and the life lessons before you. It is up to you but choose the challenges wisely, too many will bog you down, and choose just enough to handle. If we do not learn then it will repeat itself until we finally learn our lesson and that we can ask, learn, understand, and practice a new way of living

24 – Chapter 8 JOYThis can be challenging for some seeing others in joyful moods with others, is it because of the closeness theyare having? Did this create feelings of pain or inadequacies of not feeling good enough? Realize the type ofcloseness differs between a friend and relationship, or coworker & coworker or when kids playing for example.On flip chart (30 minutes) Brainstorm when we were having fun as kids/adults and someone comes along andtakes it away what behaviours came out? What was the reason? Bedtime, sitting together laughing, yelling while playing? Be joy seekers not joy takers. North Mind Teenager Let go of seriousness When I see others in joyful world enjoying themselves (kids while playing) let them yell friends laughing, partner hugging another, or smiling I can allow them because they deserve Joy as much as I do, to see others fail isn't joy it is okay to be teased and tease others East Spirit Adult Let go of negative perceptions When I see others in a joyful world ex. Friends laughing partner talking to another or visiting somewhere, others who have a nice car or couples laughing I can allow them because they deserve joy as much as I do. To see others in pain isn't joy See all spirits joyful – make things happen too South Feel Elder Let go of self pity When I see others close with friends or partnership friends who have a lot of friends, you deserve what others have too but work for it You are creative and have joy in making things To see others stressed isn't joy See elders like young kids too West Body Baby Let go of charm When I witness someone more funnier or charming Someone else has nicer clothes, vehicle or kids toys More athletic or faster or bigger than you, partnership laughing with friends & close family, To see others beat isn't joy but in competition in sports is fun & ok See babies playing/innocencePersonalities may feel a sense of inadequacy when faced with someone who appears better orwhen we are triggered by past experiences. People here can learn how to talk about that “fearplace” to share that hurt and allow yourself to be vulnerable. Everyone has inadequacies yetrealize that we need to align our spirit with personality to learn from love. When we love weallow others to do the same, and spirit invites more into our lives when we do, fear takes awaypeople, places and things. Look at that frighten part of yourself that you feel in your body, andshare it openly with someone you can trust to change. It's okay for others to be close & have joy

25) ADULT CHILDREN NEEDSWe all deserve to have our needs met, When we were children Parents would yell at us when we That are natural. When we cry, we Asked 4 needs so we learned to yell at Need to be nurtured, or failed need Others 4 what we need. Adults would Compassion, or when Get angry & terrify you to get needs Discouraged need encouragement That is losing authentic power and When lost we need guidance Loss of control and fear-you hurt Yourself learn compassion & patience NORTH – Understand Artificial needs: To get perfect response from others control over others and get angry if I don't get what I want right away. Deadline vs Indian Time You are programmed you lose power instead of gain Genuine Need: To express gratitude you will get more opportunities everywhere, empower instead of oppress True power is giving it away to others to have freedom EAST – Protection Artificial Needs: If he/she doesn't do what I want, I will fight you then avoid you. Threats online, face to face, weapons, bullying, or excuses, offensive behaviour, tone of voice, contempt Genuine Needs: How can you send a clear message without alternative behaviours? In a calm kind manner See the universe as protection and safety SOUTH – Nurture Artificial Needs: I need to please, serve, (lose power) and reject those who may come too close to get what I need (experience being drained this way), Do things for others to please so they like me “I'm good”. Genuine Needs: Nature and the land to connect with Healthy foods, eat when hungry not when sad, use your spiritual gift to talk with universe seek guidance WEST – Growth Artificial Needs: I need to get sick to get attention dress nicely, be funny, be good at something, give or have sex to feel good about self for attention to always have someone there for me to be happy Genuine Needs: Universe provides learn to pray Trust the universe with your requests your answers lie within yourself not others NEEDS SCALEOwn needs Balanced-normal 4 Others needs first Narcist? Moms to put kids 1st

26 ATTRACTION 2 We are drawn to those who has the 1) Icebreaker (4 boundaries) Other piece that's missing, what's 2) Brainstorm what we are Attracted to in someone or talk with Lacking in ourselves? Friends what you look 4 in others & Realize that's what needs work within Yourself. Write on flipchart 4 youth/adults NORTH - Let go of control What I am attracted to:______________Therefore am lacking is______________ in myself What I can do about it is__________________ Learn to to have compassion & kindness Let go of control (fear) EAST – Let go of defiance What I am attracted to is:_____________Therefore am lacking is_____________in myself What I can do about it is_________________ Feel good about your body to be close Learn to honour others SOUTH – Let go of pleasing others What I am attracted to is:______________ Therefore am lacking is____________in myself What I can do about it is________________ Feel good about your mind Learn to have confidence & socialize Let go of rejection WEST – Let go of attention seeking What I am attracted to:_______________ Therefore am lacking is__________in myself What I can do about it is_______________ Feel good about your spirit Learn how to be strong that you can stick it out Let go of attention seeking Choose a role-model or who would be someone you can shadow that has the qualities youwant to learn such as confidence, compassion, strength, or being vulnerable. Who we hang outwith we become like them. We adopt their behaviours and mimic the way they are and how theytalk. Be influenced by behaviours that can bring you to your higher self, because those who arenegative will bring you no where. When you want to become a confident singer we practice withother singers and therefore become better. When we hang out with people who drink or do drugswe become like them and act the way they do. Realize you are a magnet to being happy so be withthose who are.

27 – Chapter 9 ADDICTION You cannot let go of an addiction until you admit you have one, until you can realize that youcannot let go of it's power by acknowledging it. To recognize an addiction requires inner work, itrequires that you look clearly at places where you lose power in your life where you are controlled byexternal circumstances. It requires going through your defences even when striving for clarity, or whenouter circumstances such as injury caused by drunk driving, or marriage wrecked by promiscuity,provide proof you are addicted. The individual often clings to seeing their addiction as a small problem,then as a bigger problem, then a huge problem. Why does an individual resist acknowledging itsaddiction? To admit you have an addiction and to accept that you are addicted is acknowledging that apart of you is out of control. The individual or personality resists acknowledging its addiction becauseit forces them to leave a part of itself out of control, to do something about it and cannot be ignored anylonger. The addiction can't be released without changing your life, self image, friends, entire views andframework. At times its natural to resist change, therefore we resist acknowledging our addictions. An addiction is not merely an attraction, it is natural for males and females to admire each otherand feel a warmth towards one another. An addiction is more than that, it is like a magnet (attraction)and fear together and a jolt of energy that is out of proportion to the situation. An attraction are apleasing part of life, they can be satisfied and left behind but an addiction can't. A sexual addiction canbe made dormant within a relationship by a fear of losing the security of the relationship but can't behealed without recognizing it's there. An understanding of the dynamic beneath it and if not healed willbreak through the relationship by magnetism, fear, and jolt of energy and he/she will cheat or becomepromiscuous. This happens when he/she feels the most insecure, afraid, or most threatened and will actout what they are afraid of saying “I think your cheating” when it is actually you are either thinking itor acting it out (sometimes). In order to combat fear-based issues then being honest and open about itwith your partner is necessary before it becomes an issue, prevention is necessary and it can work whenshared truthfully. Sexual addictions are the most universal within humans because of issues of powertied to it and the learning's about it. On one hand we have sexuality and the other spirituality. A person who is out of control from addiction such as alcohol, drugs, sex, shopping, orgambling cannot stop because of issues of power tied to it. The experience of addictive sexualattraction is a signal to the experiencer that “in the moment” without thinking twice of consequences oflosing their family or job or themselves that he or she has experienced powerlessness and is desiring tofeed upon someone weaker. This is the behaviour & dynamic beneath all addictions; the desire to preyupon a weaker soul more shattered than yourself. This is as ugly as it is to look at it to experience it butit is at the centre of all addictions and the negative behind it. Sex without compassion or reverence likebusiness without reverence, and politics without reverence and any activity without reverence reflectsthe same thing, one soul preying upon another weaker soul. There are many ways out of an addictionbut requires massive action to do so such as treatment or counselling. It takes work to look at ourselves, admit you have a problem, and look at the consequences ofyour actions. To tell someone you hurt them and take action upon it is a huge step, and that is how youbecome courageous. We were all born courageous but for some, we learned fear and doubt. Whensomeone has hurt us we turn to alternative behaviours & addictions to avoid the pain, realize that whatwas done to us as children we also do to others and can be unlearned. We learned to be afraid anddoubtful and kept what happened as a secret so no one will know the shame & guilt but realize that isnot yours to carry. To connect with Creator & spiritual guides we can find our way through anyaddiction. To do the necessary inner work because what all human beings need is unconditional love. Itis available to you, just ask and the universe will give that to you. especially when it comes from yourheart. Love is not painful but rather a joyful blissful state, and you will be greeted unconditionally byothers who can help you, but it means taking a step out of your comfort zone. You are okay.

28 HABITS A new way of life always starts with replacing something old with something new, and has to dowith habits. Old habits are hard to break at first, the adjustment of finding new friendships by letting goof old drinking buddies and who we used to drugs with. When we think of the future we can tell if weare going to start again because we set ourselves up, also if we are not clear on what we really want.Our intention is what we look at. Drugs and alcohol has always been an arms length away for everyoneeven those who quit for 10, 20, or even 30 years. It is about responsible choice and that we can makeup our mind, and if we continue we become strong over time. What our goal before was distorted whenso called instant friends came by as they somehow knew we had money and bugged us to drink up ourmoney instead of pay rent or buy food. We struggled for a while until pay day or welfare came alongand sold what little we had left. Sometimes it got so bad we don't remember or even worse we recallwhat happened and it was shameful. Truth it does not get better when addictions cause pain andremorse over what happened and what we had lost. One way to overcome drinking and doing drugs isto start a new habit.1) PRAYER: Each day begin with a prayer for all those who you have hurt, ask for forgiveness withoutexpectations, ask to let go of control and to have good friends. Understand that prayers are like savingsaccount. Each prayer you say goes into your future and when we need it most we take out our savingsjust like prayers. Whether your going through rough times or good times start praying. Spirit firstbecause it was our mind that chose before and now when we quit it is our spirit that comes first.GRATITUDE: Instead of talking about all the negative that has happened, be thankful for what we dohave left because the old saying goes “I was angry because I had no shoes, but then looked over at thenext guy who had no feet, grateful guy”. When we start thinking of all the things we are grateful for ourthoughts change. We do this next after prayers. Start writing down in a book of 50 things you aregrateful for and look at them each day, and do not procrastinate, because procrastination led us toaddictions too.GOALS: Write down a few goals that you are interested in doing that you have thought about but nevergot around to it. When do you not have time to do this? A goal is what gives us meaning again, to livewith an accomplishment that you thought you could not do. If you can go out into the cold weather toget drugs and alcohol and go to any lengths to achieve this, then you can also achieve a goal as well.What interests you that would grab your attention to get where you want to be? In one year from now,are you glad where you are at?Here is an example of writing down your goals and keep in mind, start your habit each day and onlytakes 3 minutes to do; prayers one minute, being grateful one minute, and think of your goals youwant to achieve one minute. Fear is only duty is to stop you, but realize everyone is afraid but do itanyway. Write down at least 3 goals & keep in mind that massive action provides results you want.GOAL:____________________________________ISSUE_____________________________________NEED:____________________________________ACTION:__________________________________FEAR:_____________________________________

29 UNIVERSE: JUDGEMENTS People will judge one another when they feel inferior, because when you are harsh with anotheryou are harsh with yourself, and that when you judge you are in pain. To avoid this physical pain, youreact by yelling or swearing, throwing your hands in the air or giving the finger and even talk bad aboutthis person. You have lost external power when you have judged another. * What are you feeling whensomeone makes a mistake or when a driver cuts you off? Watch how your body is, put yourself in theirshoes otherwise look at how many times we take time off work and get sick because of judgments.Understand that at one time you were like that, and try your best to become more compassionate. Themore you try and resist judging the more you change for the better as your whole body rewires itself toa better you when you do. Be aware of your intentions because if you do not then you want the other tobe responsible for your pain, because they do not meet your standards. What you receive from theworld it is because you gave it out, what are you receiving? Notice times when you lose power that is outside of you, where you feel a powerlessness andlearn to be gentle with what you put forth because it returns, sometimes 3 times as much. Go to thathurt feeling and look at your body, and do your best to empower the other because only then youempower yourself. Also notice when you are being judged by people, especially if you have a highposition of authority you may work with people who are angry possibly and that your chest may feelheavy. There can be pain right in the middle area of your chest or close by there and your shouldersgoes outward causing pain. Your chest goes outward as to protect itself. Put your finger where it hurtsthere and leave it there to help alleviate it and drop your shoulders and relax more often. Go out andabout the same way you always do, and smile and think to yourself “everyone likes me”. When wehave hurt our own name by a mistake and rumours start that are not true or exaggerated just continueon your day the same way. There are people out there who are in so much pain that they will practicallydo anything to hurt you because they are suffering. Do nothing about this but pray, and not allow othersto walk all over you either but do speak up for yourself in a calm kind manner and one day you willhave everything. Some people do everything for nothing and others do nothing for everything. Those who do not look at themselves probably will not as much as you want them to but wecannot change them but ourselves. When we do not react to this judgment we will have everything oneday because they want to take away everything only to realize it will back fire. Just like in the Bible forthose who believe in that way and it is good, Jesus tried helping two people on each side of him. Oneguy was also on the cross and so was the other and had asked for forgiveness yet a soldier came alongand stabbed Jesus through the heart right into his rib cage. People will try take your heart out and youwill not care and do not let this happen because if you have a forgiving attitude it will go back on them,although we do not wish this upon anyone. It is awful yet it is true that what does go around comesaround, it is the law of the universe. To go about life with a kind attitude is our true way of living, andeach and every individual has life lessons they need to learn and when they understand they canpractice the kind way. To have compassion and a reverence for life that everything has purpose andmeaning is our way of life. To love one another regardless of faults is our way of life. Some people get themselves checked into a hospital to see what the issue is and because ofjudging we get sick, therefore taking care of ourselves and being kind helps us become betterunderstanding, and compassionate individuals. Self care is crucial to help our spirit, emotions, body,and mind and it is our body that always tells us or points us in the right direction. By listening to ourbody more often we will find our way as our mind will want to work and pay bills our body will tell usto take a break and have an outlet such as a sweat. Each month we take in a lot and need a way toreplenish ourselves so going to a sweat or onto the land can do wonders for our whole being. Whatpeople see in you that they dislike, really dislike in themselves, because they identified parts ofthemselves in you. This has nothing to do with you but them, therefore that is why judgments. To askthem “it must hurt you to try hurt me” because we do hurt ourselves when trying to hurt others. Loveone another way is our true calling. Be open to feedback though as that is how we grow.

30) CONCLUSIONS “ALCOHOL LEAVES YOU WITH LOSSESS AND BREATHLESS, DRUGS LEAVES YOU WITH NO COMMON SENSE AND SENSLESS, BUT GOD WILL FORGIVE YOU AND WON'T LEAVE YOU REGARDLESS”We can see clearly what separates a life with spirit and without it, and what we do to try fulfill it when we have avoid in life. It is a constant searching for it in others but sometimes we fail that way. It is within our spiritual way we can be better prepared for what may lie ahead. When we care we are able to achieve a lot more, and sometimes even predict our own or others behaviours or see ahead of time. When we do not care it will hit useventually which is why healing is necessary. Life sometimes takes adjustment and learning through love instead of fear when we are going through anything. Sometimes an attitude of trying to be happy for nothing is the bestroute because family, job, kids, and anything else can let us down because happiness will create more happiness.Our thoughts, feelings, body, and spirit can make decisions but it is always spirit that needs to come first. We can see that Residential School and addictions have led to poor choices and negative consequences. If we can understand what happens to others also happens to you then we will understand the need for compassion for all living creatures. If we were perfect then we would not need to have ceremony. Love another is our true way of life. Emotions are central in our decisions, an emotional state can be active by consciously perceivedstimuli, conscious thought or by conditions unavailable to the conscious mind. An emotional state has amind of its own, once it is activated (regardless how it was activated) it will influence the way weinterpret or think of the world. We tend to assume that our present reactions are always based onthe current situations, but they are often or at least partly based on auto conditioned emotionsresponses or past traumatic experiences. Brain studies had suggested wrongly that our presentreactions were based solely on the merits of the present situation, a trigger happens today that hasnothing to do with it but really has to do with our past. When we become aware that our presentreactions are conditioned responses, we can sometimes alter our reactions through conscious thinking(self soothing, fantasy). If we think that our reactions are based solely on the merits of the presentsituation we are less likely to attempt to change them. Emotions have a passive (withdrawing) as wellas an “active” effect on our thinking and actions. There is a list of books available if you are interested in helping yourself in healing either theinner child or to deal with trauma. Abuse has run rampant in many First Nations communities andhealing is necessary to deal with it, and to disclose our past hurts is rather courageous of us as we havewisdom. I highly recommend ceremonies or one to one counselling to continue helping yourself so asto have a relationship built to help heal. This Basic Module I hope you found to be very useful inhelping yourself and others either in self-help or conducting workshops in communities or addictionscentres. I found these to very valuable to help others with it and that you find that it is an effective toolin helping one another. I hope you are as passionate as I am in helping people to reach their goals, tobecome healthier, and happier souls that you really are and that we are all here to serve a purpose andto find meaning. Here is a list of books available or even ordered online, and that you take the time toseek these out. Thank you.1) Post Trauma Stress Syndrome; Dr. Bessel Van der Kolk 2) Trauma and Recovery; Judith Lewis Hermin, Phd.3) Our Little Secret; Confronting Child Sexual Abuse in Canada;Judy Steed4) Unchained Memories; Lenore Ter, M.D. 5) Too Scared To Cry, Psychic Trauma in Childhood; Lenore Ter, M.D.

31 CONCLUSIONS6) Without Conscious; Dr. Robert D. Hare 7) Trapped in the mirror, Adult Children of Narcissists; Elan Golomb8) Absent Fathers; Guy Corneau 9) The Chalice and the blade; Riane Eisler 10) The partnership way; Riane Eisler11) Sacred Pleasure; Riane Eisler 12) Fire in the belly; Sam Keene 13) Spontaneous Healing; Andrew Weil14) DSM-1V Diagnostic Manual 15) Energizers and Ice-Breakers; Elizabeth Sabrinsky Foster16) Trauma, Transformation and Healing; John Wilson 17) Alternative Pathways to Healing; Kip Coggins18) The Addictive Personality; Craig Nabben 19) Source Book of Substance and Addiction20) Let Your Body Interpret Your Dreams; Gene Gendlin, Phd 21) Focusing; Gene Gendlin, Phd22) Focusing Oriented Psychotherapy; Gene Gendlin, Phd 23) Dancing With The Wheel; Sun Bear24) Experiencing and the Creation of Meaning; Gene Gendlin, Phd25) Integrating Spirituality in Counseling; Elfie Hinterkopf 26) The Focusing Students Manual; Ann Weiser Cornell27) The Focusing Trainers Manual; Ann Weiser Cornell 28) The Emotional Incest Syndrome; Dr. Patricia Love29) Stolen from our Embrace; Suzanne Fournier and Ernie Crey 30) Vicarious Traumatization; Pearlman & MacIan“What does a Bear do when they see something negative? They take their cubs away from it to somewhere positive. This is how we help and guide our young ones so in the future they are safe” Elders teaching.