SDA Kinship - CONNECTION - March 2006

The Journal of Seventh-day Adventist Kinship International, Inc. March 2006 Vol. 30 No. 3 Homosexuality & the SDA Church, Part II

KINSHIP BOARD Who we are... Seventh-day Adventist Kinship International, Inc. (Kinship) is a President: Bob Bouchard Vice President: Brenda McColpin non-profit support organization which ministers to the spiritual, Secretary: Bruce Harlow emotional, social, and physical well-being of Seventh-day Treasurer: Karen Wetherell Adventist lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered, and intersex Connection Editor: Catherine individuals and their families and friends. Kinship facilitates and promotes the understanding and affirmation of LGBTI Adventists Taylor among themselves and within the Seventh-day Adventist Marketing & PR Webmaster: Robb community through education, advocacy, and reconciliation. Kinship is an organization which supports the advance of human Crouch rights for all people. Church Liaison: David Fergusson Women’s Coordinator & Chapter Founded in 1976, the organization was incorporated in 1981 and is recognized as a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization in the US. Development: Yolanda Elliott Kinship has a board of up to 15 officers and 13 regional Kampmeeting Coordinator 2006: coordinators. The current list of members and friends includes several thousand people in 43 countries. Marcos Apolonio SDA Kinship believes the Bible does not condemn, or even BOARD MEMBERS AT LARGE mention, homosexuality as a sexual orientation. Ellen G. White does not parallel any of the Bible texts, which are often used to KinNet Coordinator: Floyd Poenitz condemn homosexuals. Most of the anguish imposed upon God’s Member Services: Fred Casey children who grow up as LGBT has its roots in a misunderstanding Supporting Kinship Families with of what the Bible says. Support Kinship Children: Jill Babcock Strategic Planning: Isis Montalvo Kinship operates solely on contributions from its members and Parents, Family & Friends Support: friends. Help us reach out to more LGBT Adventists by making a tax-deductible donation to SDA Kinship International. Please send Carrol Grady your check or money order to the address below. (You can also IMRU: Naveen Jonathan donate, using your Visa or Master Card, by contacting Karen EXECUTIVE COMMITTEE Wetherell at [email protected]. She will phone you so that Bob Bouchard, Bruce Harlow, you can give your credit card information in a safe manner.) Karen Wetherell, Samuel Pang, SDA Kinship, P.O. Box 49375, Sarasota, FL 34230-6375, or call Catherine Taylor, Brenda toll-free in the U.S. 866-732-5677 or toll from outside the U.S. 01 McColpin, Sherri Babcock (941) 371-7606, or visit SDA Kinship’s Web Site at: www.sdakinship.org REGIONAL COORDINATORS–USA AFFILIATED INTERNATIONAL OTHER COORDINATORS Region 1 (New England) Catherine REGION COORDINATORS Taylor [email protected] Intersexed: Carolyn Parsons Australia-New Zealand: Noel [email protected] Region 2 (Mid-Atlantic) Yolanda Thorpe Elliot [email protected] [email protected] Transgender/Transexual: Sandra Hoffecker [email protected] Region 3 (Deep South) Jon Roberts Brazil: Itamar Matos de Souza [email protected] [email protected] Older Adult: Ren Reynolds [email protected] Region 4 (Midwest) Chad Hicks Canada: Jerry McKay [email protected] [email protected] Europe: Ruud Kieboom IMRU (Young Adults</=29) Jeremy Brown Region 5 (Lone Star South) Floyd [email protected] Suzy Wise Poenitz [email protected] Central & South America: [email protected] Region 6 (Mountain Plains) Robb Alexander Gomez Pasco Web Master: Dave Gilsdorf Crouch [email protected] [email protected] [email protected] Philippines: Jonathan Coo Region 7 (Northwest) Doug Bom [email protected] [email protected] Uganda: Joseph Brown [email protected] Region 8 (No. California, Nevada, Hawaii) Obed Vazquez-Ortiz [email protected] Region 9 (So. California, Arizona) Bruce Boyd [email protected]; Michelle Cornwell [email protected]

There is Still…A Sweet Sweet Spirit in This Place Welcome to Part II of our report from the workshop on Homosexuality andthe Seventh Day Adventist Church. We begin this issue as we did the secondday: with a personal story. We’re including excerpts from the rest of RonLawson’s sociological history of the Seventh Day Adventist Church’s relationshipwith homosexuality, Fritz Guy’s theological discussion of lesbian and gayrelationships and John Elder’s thoughts on Homophobia and the Sabbath. Youwill also find invitations to several International Kinship meetings that arehappening this spring and summer, some thoughts of orientation and race overthe last fifty years and our calendar. We love to have your thoughts and voice inthese pages and want to hear your reactions to what you are reading about theJanuary workshop. Send them to [email protected] ! Learning to Live in Love “truth” throughout the world so As I entered my preteen years, Jesus could return. and the boys I considered my bestSherri Babcock friends started showing an interest In the midst of all this traditional in dating me, I began to feel that I My story starts within the context Adventism, I was discovering that was someone else living inside aprovided by my Adventist parts of me did not fit the girl’s body. That someone elseancestors. My traditional Adventist ideals. My was eventually given the name,great-great-grandfather, D.A. father was constantly reminding Sandy Smith. Sandy representedRobinson, co-founded Atlantic me to “act like a lady.” I preferred someone totally androgynousUnion College in 1881 along playing with my brother’s cars, (which perfectly described how Iwith Adventist pioneer Stephen trucks and Lego’s, rather than with felt) and Smith was totallyHaskell. He later became the first my own dollhouse and Barbie’s. I anonymous (not the collegemale Adventist missionary to India, wanted to climb trees, excel in president’s daughter). I wouldfollowing behind the nurse, school, wrestle, and fly kites, rather spend long hours pacing theGeorgia Burrus. My than read Little Women and learn parapets around our flat roofedgreat-grandparents and my how to sew. By the age of eight, I house in the evenings, talking tograndparents were missionaries to had completely claimed the God and pretending to be Sandy,Africa. My parents are both “Tomboy” label already given to someone who was strong,Adventist educators, my father me. I often wondered why God independent and didn’t fit abeing the current President of had made me a girl, when boys traditional label. Although IAtlantic Union College, and they had so much more fun, freedom couldn’t name it, I knewwere missionaries in Pakistan when and adventure. I frequently asked something was wrong with me.my conscious childhood memories God to make me into a boy. The emotional isolation andbegan. With this rich family loneliness were unbearable, and Iheritage, my childhood was filled felt I would never be able to be mywith stories of church history, true self. One night, while in themiraculous mission stories, Bible persona of Sandy Smith, I camestories, Pathfinder activities, and perilously close to committingrelationships with Student suicide by jumping off the parapet.Missionaries. I experienced Just as my center of gravity wentfirsthand the thrill, adventure and over the edge of the roof, a collegeresponsibility related to serving girl, who I considered to be myGod and God’s remnant church. I adopted big sister, appeared on theassumed God’s plan for my life sidewalk below me. Not wantingincluded attending SDA schools to land on her or for her to witnessthrough college, taking a year off my death, I twisted around, caughtfrom college to be a student the parapet and scrambled back tomissionary, getting married, safety. That suicide interventionworking for the Adventist church, was so providential that it stoppedbecoming a fully credentialed me from ever seriously consideringmissionary and spreading the suicide again. 3

My circle of friends expanded in that God was going to change. In a good man’s heart and ruiningthe eighth grade when my parents spite of that realization, I still could both of our lives. I got severelyreturned to the United States. My not accept being a homosexual. depressed and decided to drop outunique accent and life perspective of school, even though I only hadmade me intriguing to the I dated sporadically, but the one quarter left to go, and I hadAmerican boys. I suddenly struggle, isolation and loneliness just been selected as “Outstandingrealized that I could date any boy I nearly resulted in an emotional Engineering Student of the Year.” Iwanted, and my girlfriends all breakdown. At that point, I finally needed to find out who I was andthought I was crazy for not taking threw my salvation on God’s mercy locate people I could be myselfadvantage of it. So, my first few and started trying to find another with. I decided to go to Sanyears in the States were marked by woman to develop a relationship Francisco and start a new life.dating the most sought after boys with. I had to find out if I reallyand enjoying the attention it was a homosexual. If I was, I When I called my educatorbrought me from the girlfriends figured I could be of more use to parents to tell them of my decision,that I had crushes on. God as a “less-than-perfect” woman they were adamantly against the than as an insane woman. idea of not finishing my degree. One day, while I was agonizing On discovering that I was seriouson the way to clarinet practice, I By mid-year, I had discovered about pursuing such a disastroussilently cried out, “God, what is my first love. The comfort level course, they promised to find me aWRONG with me?” I immediately and lack of emotional angst that I contact number for SDA Kinship, ifgot my only audible response, as I felt when I was with her were I would promise to stay in schoolheard a voice booming through liberating. I experienced for the and graduate. With promisesthe hallway, “Sherri, you are a first time what it was like to be exchanged, I contacted Kinship thehomosexual.” I spun around to see totally myself. I felt whole and week before spring break, andwho had spoken, and if anyone realized that several facets of my asked if I could meet some of theelse had heard, but the hall was life had finally become integrated. women in southern Californiaempty. I started crying and ran out Along with this wonderful new during the break. They not onlyof the building screaming “No, experience came the constant fear welcomed my impromptu visit, butGod, anything but that! I’d rather of being publicly exposed and let me stay in their homes, took medie!” During my sophomore year getting kicked out of school. out to eat, spent long hoursin college, I realized that in spite sharing their own life stories, andof my dedication to change, At the end of the year, I introduced me to the gay andspontaneous attractions to women transferred to Walla Walla College lesbian community. One nightwere still occurring. Dreaded and to finish my engineering degree. after telling them my life story, Iunbidden, those feelings would It soon became clear that the asked, “But, how can God love mepop up at the most startling distance and social pressures to if I am a homosexual?” Margemoments. I was trying everything “get married and have children” didn’t miss a beat. She said,to bury myself in studies, church were more than our relationship “Sherri, if someone had just toldactivities and other distractions, but could bear. Heartbroken, I started you their life story, and it wasit wasn’t enough. Thinking that I dating men again, but I felt like I similar to the one you have justmust need to more deeply dedicate was lying to them at best and told us, would you be judgmentalmy life to God, I continued the driving myself insane at worst. I or offer them your love and original life plan and took a year worried that if I got married, I understanding?” I replied, “I’d off to be a Student Missionary. would ultimately end up breaking understand, of course, I know the struggle they’ve been going Although being a Student through.” Then, Marge looked me Missionary was definitely an right in the eye and said, “Sherri, enriching, life-changing do you honestly believe that youexperience, I realized during that are more loving than God?” Atyear that even while I was living a that moment, I realized that God’slife totally dedicated to God’s grace was big enough to love me,service, my feelings were not even if I had turned out to be achanging. In desperation, I came lesbian.out to my parents and asked forhelp. Although my parents As my healing progressed, Iassured me of their unconditional entered a handful of brieflove and support, they obviously relationships. While some of thosecould not make my decisions. By relationships lasted a couple ofthe end of that year, I started to months, most of them never gotunderstand that for some unknown past the initial dating stage. Ireason, this was not something4

discovered that I didn’t trust my Yancy. We felt that this little gift apology following the collapse ofown emotions and judgment. of a baby perfectly symbolized the the Quest Learning Center, andWhile I wanted someone to share undeserved and unexpected ways that it had not moved ahead withmy life with, I was not emotionally that God moved in our lives. Just any other approach to help gayready. So, I chose to be celibate as Jill’s maternity leave came to an and lesbian church members. Infor one year. I took that year to end, I landed a long term project many respects the articlerediscover who I was as a person, management contract. The work represented a real advance inbroaden my base of friends and was steady enough, that Jill was understanding, especially in itsdevelop a basic comfort level with able to make the choice to stay sections entitled \"Nobody choosesmyself. home and parent Grace on a full to be homosexual,\" \"'Gay bashing' time basis. is never acceptable, especially for Half way through my year of Christians,\" \"Many fears aboutcelibacy, I met Jill through mutual During the first eight years of homosexuality are irrational,\"friends at a gay-friendly our relationship, Jill and I attended \"Homosexuals are not by natureecumenical church. She respected an assortment of churches in the necessarily promiscuous or childmy celibacy commitment, and we Columbus area: The Abundant molesters,\" \"Changing one'sstarted a slow-moving friendship Life Fellowship of Seventh-day homosexual orientation is difficultthat eventually transitioned to Adventists where my membership and rare,\" and \"Homosexuals candating. We solidified our was, Spirit of the Rivers Ecumenical be genuine, model Christians.\"relationship two years later at a Church where we had met, the However, the article defined suchCelebration of Covenant, held at a Dublin Seventh-day Adventist model Christians as those wholocal metropolitan park. We church, and the First Baptist \"battle against their orientation alldecided to tap into an old Quaker Church of Granville where we their lives,\" for \"homosexual sexualtradition and selected six couples learned about social justice, built a activity is sinful\" and cannot beto serve as our sponsors. Our Habitat for Humanity House and condoned [pp 10,11]. In insistingsponsors were people with had our daughter, Grace, that gay and lesbian Adventistsexperience who could mentor us in dedicated. Shortly after Grace’s remain celibate, just as singlerelationship-building. We were dedication, we decided to attend heterosexuals must remain celibate,both incredibly blessed to have our the Worthington Seventh-day the article missed a fundamentalparents serving as two of those six Adventist church because of the difference between the two groupscouples. The wedding weekend wonderful children’s program and and what it would impose onwas perfect, and over eighty friends because I deeply missed them: single heterosexuals haveand family from across the country worshipping on Sabbath. the option and the continuingwere in attendance. As we were Although we have never officially hope of finding love and sexualwhisked away from the reception joined the local church, we have fulfillment in marriage. Theby helicopter, I knew that I had been attending there for five years demand that homosexuals strugglenever been happier in my life. now. ! all their lives to remain celibate provides ironic counterpoint to the About three years after our The Welcoming, Caring advice of St Paul, who advocatedwedding, Jill let me know that she Church that, ideally, Christians shouldreally wanted to have a child. I, on remain single; however hethe other hand, was quite content Ron Lawsonwith our life and didn’t even want 5to imagine the challenges …continued from February 2006presented to gay parents. Because Connectionof my reluctance, our discussionsabout parenting continued for The church press had to thisanother two years. When I finally point been largely silent aboutrealized how deeply ingrained her homosexuality apart from thefeelings were, I agreed to earlier articles by Colin Cook andco-parent. We selected a donor those publicizing and thenthat the child would be able to attempting to rehabilitate him, andmeet at the age of 18, and Jill got the knee-jerk criticisms. However,pregnant on the first try. Grace was in 1992 the youth magazine,born on her due date exactly nine Insight, published a major article,months later. We chose the name “Redeeming Our Sad GayGrace not only because it was the Situation: A Christian Response toname of my great-grandmother, the Question of Homosexuality,”but also because we had recently authored by its editor, Christopherfinished reading What’s so Blake. Blake admitted that theAmazing About Grace by Philip church should have issued a public

recognized that since not all had the “Knight Amendment”, also moved the Adventist Church away that \"gift\", those without it should known as Proposition 22, which from its traditional position marry rather than \"burn with aimed at adding the clause \"Only opposing the enactment of passion\" [I Corinthians 7: 7-9]. Is it marriage between a man and a morality-based law. either logical or fair to assume that woman is valid or recognized in Adventist homosexuals all have the California\" to the state constitution. As the issue of same-sex \"gift of celibacy\" when the Reinach explained that “The marriage became politically Adventist leaders who seek to California Protection of Marriage prominent in the US, the tone of impose this standard on them are, Initiative, Proposition 22, is some articles in Church without exception, married males? designed to insure that California publications suddenly became need not recognize gay marriages, much more strident. In October In 1996, an article opposing when and if they become legal in 2003, Roy Adams, Associate Editor same-sex marriage that was other states.” In May 2000, as of the Adventist Review, published published in the Adventist Review Vermont was in the process of “Marriage under Siege”, which contained a side-bar containing adopting legislation recognizing featured a photo of Bishop Gene the text of “An Affirmation of civil unions between same-sex Robinson, the first openly gay Marriage”, which had been voted couples, officials of the Atlantic bishop elected by the Episcopal by the GC Administrative Union and the North New England Church. Adams’ language was Committee in April of that year. Conference raised their voices in harsh and hysterical, reflecting The purpose of its publication in opposition to it. In contrast, the intolerance and fear. He wrote conjunction with that article seems administration of the Netherlands negatively of “the concerted push to have been to remind Union remained aloof from the for full acceptance by a homosexual Adventists that their debate when that country well-heeled, well-financed only acceptable option was embraced same-sex marriage in homosexual lobby, the media celibacy. In 1999, as gay issues 2001. falling all over itself to push the came increasingly to the fore in agenda.” He listed the overturning public political debate and court When Canada expanded its hate of the Texas anti-sodomy law by cases, the Annual Council of the crimes law to add the disparaging the Supreme Court, the acceptance General Conference Executive of “sexual orientation” to the list of of same-sex marriage by the Committee voted a new “hate crimes” for which perpetrators Netherlands and Belgium, and its “Seventh-day Adventist Position could be charged with the advance through the courts in Statement on Homosexuality”: equivalent of a felony in the US, Canada and Massachusetts, and “The Seventh-day Adventist the ANN Bulletin reported that posed the question “What is to be Church…believe(s) that by God’s pastors there were afraid that their our stance as a Church?” grace and through the preaching against homosexuality Declaring that “the spiritual crisis encouragement of the community could result in their falling afoul of of the last days” is here, that we are of the faith, an individual may live the law [May 4, 2004]. The seeing “a brazen, deliberate, in harmony with the principles of attempts to involve Adventism in concerted attack on the three God’s Word. …sexual intimacy the political debates on the side of foundational pillars of the book of belongs only within the marital traditional heterosexual values have Genesis: Creation, Sabbath, relationship of a man and a and…marriage”, he declared that in woman. …The Bible makes no accommodation for homosexual activity or relationships. Sexual acts outside the circle of heterosexual marriage are forbidden… For these reasons Adventists are opposed to homosexual practices and relationships…” In February 2000, when the state of Hawaii seemed to be on the verge of recognizing same-sex marriage, Thomas Mostert, President of the Church’s Pacific Union, and Alan Reinach, head of its Department of Public Affairs and Religious Liberty [PARL], published articles in the Union paper, the Echo, calling on Adventists in California to support6

spite of the historic embrace of the following year LSU accepted a to restore Cook to a place where heseparation of church and state by former Adventist and self-identified could resume his counseling andAdventists, “Silence is not an lesbian who planned to seek sexual abuse, and continue tooption. The stakes are too high. ordination in the gay-oriented insist that the only acceptableAnd normal considerations of Metropolitan Community Church homosexual is one living withouttolerance and political correctness into its MA in Religion program. love and struggling to changecannot apply—in fact, would be Some colleges have gay support his/her orientation. The prejudiceirresponsible. This is the time for groups among students. These of the church leaders led them tofaith communities to speak out.” depend on the presence of support sue SDA Kinship as a means of among the faculty and a secure distancing themselves from gay In contrast, the publications of administration, but especially on Adventists, and it prevented themthe liberal independent press the presence of students with the from seeing the AIDS epidemic asconcerning homosexuality are courage to act; their visibility rises relevant to Adventism, at leastoften very different from the official and falls according as active where it was initially a “gaypublications, reflecting the students graduate and newcomers disease.” Their tenacity in clingingincreased polarization that has become involved. The first such to traditional biblical proof-textsemerged over this issue. These group was formed by two Hispanic and in manipulating the writingshave given increasing coverage to students at Pacific Union College of their prophet to support theirthese issues over the past decade, in the late 1980s. It faded after the anti-gay prejudices are reminiscentusing a tone that contrasts sharply two founding leaders graduated. of the manner in which the Dutchwith the often hysterical and By 1996 there were more Reformed Church in South Africajudgmental articles that have substantial active groups at Walla until recently clung to biblicalappeared in the officially Walla College in Washington State interpretations that justifiedsponsored church press. At the end and at Columbia Union College in Apartheid. There is a growingof 1995, Adventist Today suburban D.C. Others were formed awareness in the Church of bothpublished “Kampmeeting Supports at LSU in 1998 and at Southern homosexuality and gay andGay Adventists”, which described University in 2005. Although lesbian Adventists, but also athe program, participants and public surveys suggest that profound distaste and even fear,interaction at Kinship’s annual younger people are much more which have fed a growingweek-long retreat the previous likely to be accepting of gays and polarization over this issue.Summer and told of the history and lesbians than the oldergoals of Kinship [Bouchard and generations, students on Adventist However, there have been someElder, Nov.-Dec.1995, 16]. campuses are more conservative positive shifts at the local level,Spectrum’s Summer 2002 issue than average, so that gay students where individual cases are mostcontained a cluster of five articles there face mixed reactions from often addressed. These shifts seemon sexuality, one of which reported their peers if they “come out” there. isolated and incremental becauseresearch on the lives of gay and (Loma Linda University Medical of the diversity of situations.lesbian Adventists, another was School and Ben Kemena’s stressful Nevertheless, in the years since theautobiographical, while a third experience with them is in the first Kinship Kampmeeting, therereviewed a book that surveyed a larger paper and will be included has been a remarkable change indiversity of Christian views of with the book.) the tone of the stories told byhomosexuality. newcomers of growing up gay in This paper has tested both the fit the Adventist Church. For the first School and college of the slogan, \"the Caring Church,\" few years these were known as theadministrators have also become to Adventism, and the extent to \"horror stories.\" Such a designationmore comfortable with the which the hope of Adventist is rarely apt today in North Americapresence of the gay students. They President Paulsen that it be a or much of the rest of thehave also become less aggressive “welcoming church” has been Developed World, even thoughin their handling of teachers who realized by assessing how it treats the stories often continue to reflectare discovered to be homosexual. its homosexual members. As pain, confusion, isolation, andThis is evidenced by changes over measured here, the Adventist rejection. The very existence oftime in the stories of former Church fails the test, for it has Kinship, the fact that gayteachers told at Kinship proven to be concerned more with Adventists now find it more easilyKampmeetings. In 1997 La Sierra rules and image than the needs of and at a younger age, the readyUniversity, in southern California, its people. Despite the failure of availability of information on theasked a lesbian couple, who had the \"change\" program they had web, changing attitudes in churchbeen kissing and caressing one backed and the grossly unethical and society, which are nowanother around the campus, to be sexual exploitation of young and reflected more frequently amongmore discreet. This was a dramatic fragile counselees by its director, Adventist parents--all have made achange from the automatic Colin Cook, Church leaders helped remarkable impact. !removal of yesteryear. The 7

Is Gay Really Okay? eschatological resurrection of relationship or violate any prior Thinking Theologically the body. The New Testament personal commitment. envisions the ultimate future of About Same-Sex humanness as a thoroughly • Optimal sexual intimacy is not Relationships physical, bodily existence. coercive, exploitive, or manipulative. It is notFritz Guy The possibility of physical instrumental or strategic, an pleasure is part of the created exchange for some other desired The theological reflections goodness of humanness, one of good such as money,offered here will take the form of a the blessings of physical existence. professional advancement (as inseries of affirmations intended to Hence the colors of a sunrise, the “sleeping one’s way to therepresent a progression of fragrance of a carnation, the sound top”), or other favorabletheological reasoning: (1) of a symphony, the taste of an ice treatment.Humanness entails physical, bodily cream cone, the relaxation of aexistence. (2) Physical pleasure is massage or a bath. With all this • Optimal sexual intimacy ispart of God’s intention for attention to the physicality of authentically mutual andhumanness. (3) Sexuality is a humanness should come a egalitarian. The desire to receivecreated good. (4) Sexual intimacy recognition that physical pleasure pleasure does not in the longsymbolizes the most profound is a proper function of human run (the duration of thevolitional human relationship. (5) bodies and in itself an entirely relationship) exceed the desireOptimal sexual intimacy is defined appropriate reason to be as healthy to give pleasure, or in the shortby rigorous moral criteria. (6) The as possible. It is right to take good run (the immediate occasion)moral quality of erotic relationships care of bodies, one’s own and overwhelm it.is not affected by the sex of one’s others’, and it is right also to enjoypartner. (7) Scripture does not them. • Optimal sexual intimacy respectsnecessarily condemn all same-sex the vulnerabilities it engenders.eros. (8) Some same-sex Sexuality, the desire to share It includes concern for eachrelationships described in Scripture physical intimacy and bodily other’s safety, security, andmay have involved erotic elements. pleasure with a partner, usually comfort in the broadest and(9) Neither the possibility of involves all of the senses to one deepest sense. It presupposesprocreation nor male-female extent or another; and a defining and expresses trust, and it evokescomplementarity is an essential characteristic of physical intimacy and sustains trust.ingredient of “natural” human is the exquisite physical pleasure ofsexuality. (10) Antagonism to orgasm. Sexuality is part of the Taken seriously, these moralsame-sex eros has deep humanness created in God’s criteria carry important practicalpsychosocial roots. (11) Christians image. Human sexual intimacy is a implications. They evoke, forshould nurture and support persons symbol that both points to a reality example, both a revolutionaryin mutually caring, committed beyond itself and participates in self-discipline and an “ethic ofsame-sex erotic relationships. that reality, thus opening up levels tenderness”. These criteria, of reality that human beings would furthermore, carry potential The essential goodness of the not otherwise be able to theological significance insofar ashuman body is established by three experience. The reality to which optimal sexual intimacy reflects theprincipal theological sexual intimacy points and in desire of ultimate, divine reality toconsiderations. which it participates is a give pleasure to, and (in some relationship of permanent, sense beyond human• The first is the primordial preeminent concern for and comprehension) to receive pleasure creation of humanness. commitment to the total well from, human reality. being of one’s sexual partner.• The second consideration is the Sexual intimacy both expresses this While the theologically based incarnation of God in and as reality and enriches and deepens it. moral criteria of optimal sexual Jesus the Messiah. In the person intimacy specify the quality of the of Jesus God “became In the light of the relevant personal relationship of the flesh”—that is, became a Biblical materials such as the partners, these criteria do not body—“and lived for a while Seventh Commandment and the specify, or even refer to, the sex of among us.” Elsewhere the New Golden Rule, four moral criteria for the partners. Testament insists on this truth: it optimal sexual intimacy are was “in the body” that Jesus immediately apparent. Two important objections to this suffered and died, and anyone view call for consideration and who says otherwise should be • Optimal sexual intimacy does assessment—namely, the claim that regarded as a deceiver. not compete with any other Scripture condemns all same-sex romantic and sexual relationships;• The third consideration is the and the claim that such Christian hope of an relationships are “contrary to8

nature” not only because they beginning early in the human individually and collectively,cannot result in procreation but story: “Adam lay with his woman should address their moralalso because they disregard the Eve, and she became pregnant and attention and practical efforts to thenatural complementarity of male gave birth to Cain.” But there are monumental task of improving theand female. A third possible significant instances in which moral and spiritual quality of theobjection, that an affirmation of Scripture does not make this sexual intimacy of all Christians.same-sex eros is a radical departure connection. Serious Christians, individually andfrom traditional Christian and collectively, should immediatelyAdventist thinking, does not • The initial explanation of the discontinue their moralrequire a detailed refutation here. duality of male and female does condemnation of same-sex eros inFor one thing, Adventism has from not mention procreation. caring, committed relationships.its beginning distinguished itself Instead, the whole point of the Jesus emphatically opposedby its criticism of traditional story is the goodness of social misguided moral judgments:Christian thinking (in regard to companionship, and the “Take the plank out of your ownsuch issues as an imminent preeminence of this relationship eye,” he said, “before you try to getAdvent, the continuing relevance over attachment to one’s birth the speck out of someone else’sof the seventh-day Sabbath, the family. “This is now bone of my eye.” “You strain out gnats andontology of the human soul, and bones and flesh of my flesh. She swallow camels.” “The person whothe theological and spiritual will be called ‘woman,’ for she is without sin should throw the firstapostasy of much of Christianity). was taken out of a man. For this stone.” In his parable of the LastFor another thing, a fundamental reason a man leaves his father Judgment, he identified theconviction of authentic Adventist and mother and unites with his ultimate moral issue, namely,theology (but not necessarily woman, and they become one people’s responsiveness vs.popular Adventism) is that it is flesh.” unresponsiveness to the needs ofcalled to be self-critical: There is no the vulnerable.excuse for anyone in taking the • Equally important is the fact thatposition that there is no more truth the Biblical poetry devoted to Serious Christians, individuallyto be revealed, and that all our the celebration of eros in the and collectively, should encourageexpositions of Scripture are without Song of Songs does not their spiritual brothers and sistersan error. The fact that certain mention procreation either. It is living in caring same-sex eroticdoctrines have been held as truth wholly devoted to the desire for relationships to communicate notfor many years by our people is not sexual intimacy and ecstasy. only their experiences of rejectiona proof that our ideas are infallible. and oppression especially withinAge will not make error into truth, Given the generality and the community of faith, but alsoand truth can afford to be fair. No ambiguity of the texts commonly their hearing and understanding oftrue doctrine will lose anything by cited in condemnation of same-sex Scripture, especially when thatclose investigation. —Ellen White eros, plus the subjectivity of hearing and understanding differs arguments about its alleged from that of the larger community. The widespread belief that the “unnaturalness,” one wonders ifBible condemns all physical these citations and arguments are Serious Christians, individuallyintimacy between persons of the not largely rationalizations of a and collectively, should encouragesame sex is apparently the result of widespread and intense aversion to their congregations to welcome,selectively applied principles of this form of sexuality. It is affirm, and support persons whoScriptural interpretation. significant that Christians no are engaged in morally appropriateUnderlying this selectivity may be longer justify committing same-sex relationships. Like theira psychological need to genocide, owning slaves, or Master, these Christians shouldrationalize, absolutize, and regarding women as household speak clearly and act courageouslyuniversalize one’s own sexual property, by referring to the Bible’s in behalf of those who areattractions and aversions. (Fritz explicit endorsements of these oppressed and marginalized by thefollowed with a discussion of the practices. larger society—even if, again liketexts often used to condemn same their Master, they evoke socialsex eros. Another discussion of To the extent that the reasoning hostility from persons inside andthem can be found in the August offered here is sound, it is outside their communities of faith.and September 2005 issues of the theologically and morally In these and other ways ChristiansConnection. The entire text of this imperative for serious Christians, individually and collectively,paper will be in the book it was Adventist and otherwise, to Adventist and otherwise, candesigned to help build). welcome, affirm, celebrate, nurture, contribute to the realization of and support individual choices for God’s program for all humanity It is true that Scripture often links caring, committed same-sex and the actualization of God’s willsexual intimacy with procreation, relationships. Serious Christians, “on earth as it is in heaven.” ! 9

Homophobia and the fantasy, I do not have to imagine “pot re”. Often we speak of Sabbath: Culture of Babylon what contemporary Sabbath is like, “empowerment” in order to avoid living here in Babylon. Sabbath confusion with the power-over of vs. Grace of the Kingdom keeping is accepting the grace to Babylon. In Babylonian step beyond our horizon—that is to new-speak, “power” has beenJohn Elder, MA, MFT step out of Babylon and into the stolen from the people and recast kingdom of God for a day. God as tyranny, coercion, shame, and The Sabbath is an institution of offers us the grace and fellowship manipulation. “Althoughgrace. It is sacred time that God of His kingdom. Babylon coerces power-over rules the systems wegives every one of us each week. us with its oppressive culture. live in [Babylon],The word “sacred,” is the English God's kingdom values each and power-from-within sustains ourtranslation of the Greek every person equally and infinitely. lives.” Phillipians 2:13 tells us “For“aphorizein.” This was a The sacred fact is that we are each it is God who works in you to willcombination of the preposition infinitely precious, regardless of and to act according to his good“apo,” meaning “beyond” or “away our achievements. In America, purpose.” In Greek, “works in you”from,” and “horizein,” meaning “to Babylon manifests as godless is ho energon, the root of ourlimit.” “Horizein” is the root of our capitalism that values people as English word “energy.” God is the English word “horizon.” So commodities, as resources to be driving force within us, the“sacred” means “beyond the limits” exploited and strip mined. We Inworker, the Energy, and playingor “beyond the horizon.” gain our value from our ability to loose with physics terminology, produce, consume, or provide the Power-within. And this Once each week, God invites us spectacle to entertain. God values connects directly to Sabbathto step beyond our horizons, to individuals in the multitude of keeping—our weekly playdate withtranscend our limits, with the gift their diversities. In Babylon, there God! When we exit Babylon's gateof the Sabbath, made for us. I is no respect for the individual, as to encounter the Divine in sacredcannot begin to imagine that first an individual, only for the power time, we recharge our Energizer,Sabbath day in Eden, that day to exploit. In Babylon, nothing is we increase our power-within.when God “rested,” that day God sacred, values change as quickly as Sabbath keeping is empowerment.first set apart. If the Sabbath was a runway model's clothes. Babylon Power-with is the social power ofmade for us (not we for the is angry, punitive, and the Church, the power ofSabbath), then perhaps it was judgmental; but the kingdom of fellowship. “Koinonia is notmade for God, too. After all, God God is based on love and primarily something that you doset aside His seventh day, but it acceptance through divine grace. but rather signifies a state of affairswas only the first full day for Adam No performance is required to understood by the wordand Eve. They had nothing to rest achieve God's regard. God wants 'partnership'. It means sharing,from. I fantasize that this first to play with us. Babylon urges us belonging together, togetherness.Sabbath was when God stopped to work so that we can attain value. Those who have become God'sdoing “God work” and played with people by faith are joined at theHis creation. Thus, Adam and Eve Before proceeding to discuss deepest level. They have koinoniagot to spend their first full day “true Sabbath keeping,” I want to with Christ and with God.”playing with their Creator. God digress into a brief examination ofstepped beyond the boundaries of power. First, let us briefly examine M. Scott Peck captures it well: Ifdoing divine work into the sacred the power of Babylon, power-over. we are going to use the wordtime that he had created for “Power-over enables one individual [community] meaningfully, wehumanity. or group to make the decisions must restrict it to a group of that affect others, and to enforce individuals who have learned how While imagining that first control.” This is not God's to communicate honestly withEdenic Sabbath may be an act of power—this is the power that God each other, whose relationships go fights the great controversy to deeper than their masks of10 avoid wielding. Had God chosen composure, and who have to use power-over, there would developed some significant have been no need for Jesus to die commitment to “rejoice together, on the cross. God would have mourn together,” and to “delight simply enforced His control and in each other.” The existence of prevented sin from ever power-with, of koinonia, of happening. True power is not community comes ultimately by enforcing control; it is the ability the grace of God. It is the to function. It takes two forms: antithesis of the culture of power-within and power-with. Babylon. It finds its foundation in Power-within is closest to the Latin the Sabbath, in venturing beyond

the horizons of “networking” and using instruments of domination out homophobia.hierarchical association. It comes and power-over. Homophobia is a God calls for straight people towhen God's children gather specific instrument oftogether in His sacred time to marginalization and oppression. meet gay people where they are,honestly and eagerly play with Not only does it harm and to love and accept them asHim. homosexuals within and without they are. He calls for gay people to the church, but it also damages the meet homophobic people as they When God finished creating the soul of those suffering from are, and to love and accept them asworld, He saw that it was good. homophobia. they are. Homophobia is fear andHe celebrated the completion of insecurity, but “perfect love drivescreation by hallowing the Sabbath At this point I need to say that I out all fear.” (I Jn 4:18) God hasday. He shares that celebration find it quite easy to get caught up given us the Sabbath day as a daywith His children each Sabbath. in judgment myself. That to Play with Him by CelebratingSabbath keepers wake up the next judgment leads to anger and fear with Him, by Liberating theday refreshed, their hopes renewed, focused on those I believe to be captives of Babylon, bytheir eyes locked on their bigoted or intolerant. I puff my Congregating with our familyCreator/Playmate. The Sabbath is a chest out with pride that I am not members in Christ. The result ofday of liberation. The creative and so ignorant and hypocritical! this can only be transformation bycelebratory play that Sabbath Judgment, when practiced by the renewing of our minds, all ourkeepers engage in with God humans, is an “I-it” relationship. minds. !demands that they become The judge becomes estrangedco-creators. God has created a time from the judged. Separation [email protected] liberation for them; they must ensues, a rift in the community ofempower the liberation of others. the Kingdom. When I attempt to Sex and Race in the LastIn Isaiah 58 God calls us to join judge my fellow man, not only do Sixty YearsHim in this revolution! “Is not this I enact the culture of Babylon, butthe kind of fasting I have chosen: I abrogate Jesus' authority to judge. Billy Gloverto loose the chains of injustice anduntie the cords of the yoke, to set Instead of judgment, let us Anyone living in 1948 andthe oppressed free and break every practice discernment. Discernment living in 2006 will know that theyoke? is the process of exhibiting keen views of people on race and insight without loading orientation can change. Without True Sabbath keeping is setting condemnation into the equation. ignoring all the work that earlierthe oppressed free, breaking the Keen insight includes empathy, pioneers did on the issue, 1948yokes with which Babylon enslaves which keeps discernment from was a year that increased the speedour kindred. It is caring for the becoming destructive. When we on our journey down the roadmarginalized. Jesus amplifies this practice discernment, we respect toward racial desegregation andin Matthew 25, where He says, and empathize with others. I laws forbidding homosexual acts.“The King will reply, 'I tell you the discern that homophobia does nottruth, whatever you did for one of come from God. It destroys the In 1948 Dr. Alfred Kinsey'sthe least of these brothers of mine, practitioner, harms the target, and book on male sexuality shockedyou did it for me.'” Those who rends the church. Homophobia has the nation about what we \"really\"have kept the Sabbath by helping the characteristics of Babylon. It is do as opposed to what we “say” wethe marginalized go on to eternal an attempt to dominate, to exert do. In 1948 President Trumanlife, but those who failed to act in power-over, and to devalue God's ordered the military to be raciallysolidarity with the oppressed and precious children. integrated. These two eventsmarginalized will go away to changed our nation. Others haveeternal punishment. If we celebrate As the person suffering from contributed to the change;God’s creative power, by His grace homophobia enters the Sabbath, religiously, academically, legally,we will be filled with compassion he or she begins to play with God. and medically. Our nation knowsfor our oppressed comrades—an One characteristic of play is the names of Martin Luther King,injury to one is an injury to all. unselfconsciousness; if one enters Rosa Parks, Harry Hay, Dale into play with their Creator, they Jennings, the NAACP, The Babylon thrives on judgment cannot continue to focus on the Mattachine Society, Brown v Boardand condemnation, for this Babylonian values of insecurity of Education, Lawrence v Texas.reinforces its oppressive power and disgust. Playing means givingwhile intimidating the oppressed up the right to referee—and so There can be no doubt that theinto submission, shame, and judgment is abandoned. people who ran our nation ininadequacy. The culture of Celebration of creation requires an 1948 would be shocked if theyBabylon is the anti-Sabbath. acceptance of what has been came back today. Even those whoBabylon operates to marginalize created. Thus, acceptance drives dreamed of the end of legal racialand oppress God's children, by segregation and the end of the sodomy laws, would be surprised 11

to know that black men and healthy for us. We can pick ones A Letter to Momwomen and homosexual men and who makes us miserable. Those ofwomen are now leaders in our us with difficult pasts or parents Carl Williamsuniversities, in our churches, in often make it our goal to avoidentertainment and occupy being like them at all cost. It’s a I hope all is well with you. Ipositions of power in all levels of fine goal until we look in the have been thinking a lot about mygovernment. mirror and face the truth that we’re childhood. I want to let you know not so different at all. that I feel badly about the pain you There are still those who try to and Dad shared. I couldn’t reallyimpose their hate and fear of As we raise our children we pay attention at the time because Ipeople who differ from them. I again promise ourselves that we had enough on my own plate. Iremember when those people will not repeat the mistakes we knew I was gay when I wasorganized boycotts of TV shows lived through. The arrival of our fourteen years old. I accepted thefeaturing black entertainers, such babies can elevate our worries fact when I was seventeen. Dadas Nat King Cole. Today they try about the success of our effort. chose to hide it from you. Dad didto organize boycotts against Ford Some people don’t even try to have not influence me to be gay. I doMotor Co for advertising for children because they are so remember him being gone fromcustomers who are homosexual. concerned they will repeat family home a lot when I was younger. IBigots try to prevent theaters from patterns. The Bible says that know it must have been a hurtfulshowing a film about two men “family is a gift from God while we experience for you, knowing thattrying to understand their sexuality; live in the world.” Many cultures your husband was gay. I hope youBrokeback Mountain. and individuals want to preserve don’t hold that against me, Mom. their name on this planet. But, the Even though I am gay that is only But history has been written. Bible saying that family is a gift, part of who I am. I am still theSuch attempts will fail. The car does not mean that having one is a same loveable child you gave birthmakers and movie producers are necessary practice. Ellen G. White to and who will do anything fornot in the vanguard trying to makes the comment that it is an anyone who needs my help. Mom,change our views; they are error to bring a child into the there are worse things than beingacknowledging what has already world if it impossible to offer them gay. I could be a murderer or ahappened. ! a secure upbringing. rapist. Some Thoughts On Building Despite all of our experiences, There was a time when I was Families choosing to have children is a mad at Dad because he gave me a statement of great hope and hard time about being gay. I wasElias Rowlandson optimism. As you do so, nurture angry at him because I knew he the energy it will take to raise your was in the same boat I was. Then What is the accurate definition little ones. Build the time to spend he tried to commit suicide becauseof a successful family? Is it having with them. Make sure you have the he couldn’t handle all the turmoila million brothers and sisters? Is it resources to support them. Decide in his life. I know this was justbeing the favorite person either of young if you want to build a before you and he divorced. Thatyour parents or your siblings? Is it family. Make your plans early to hit me like a ton of bricks. Whenfinding happiness during create a good and safe relationship Dad came home from the hospital,childhood and when you become with your partner or spouse and to he and I went out to breakfast andan adult? Most of us want to be use that relationship to nurture had a long talk. I told him Iliked and to be happy. The idea of your family. ! forgave him for giving me a hardhaving a million brothers and time about being gay. I told him Isisters is a personal subject; some knew how it was to have no one topeople would love having a big talk to. I told Dad it is better tofamily when others would not. have a gay dad than no dad at all.Personally I would be You and he did the best that youoverwhelmed by a large familial could in raising us. We had nicemob. clothes to wear, good food to eat, and a roof over our heads. We were Our childhoods give us the taught to hold our heads high.lessons that affect how we build Those are great gifts and I am gladrelationships for the rest of our that Dad and I found our way backlives. We can choose spouses who to each other. We are both fatherwill spoil us rotten. We can pick and son and the best of friends.partners who are medication orsubstance dependent. We can pick Today, I have a wonderful life long companions who are partner named Victor. He is nice to12

me. Like me, he is a great cook. With this small change you might AM worship service led by TravisVictor is from Puerto Rico and I possibly see a bit of a weight loss and Jeremy, potluck lunch,enjoy eating his Spanish food. I too. Many of us would probably discussion of the Workshop onhave met his family. They are very like that benefit. Oh, and Adventism and Homosexuality,nice and are very happy for Victor remember an apple a day.... building the book that has beenand me. I hope you will come requested of us and then someover to meet him. I told him what A note to many of you who adventures in Boston. For morea good cook you are. It is you, have mentioned the number of information you can contactGrandmom, Aunt Mary and Aunt people each recipe is supposed to Catherine: [email protected] orCarrieto that I need to thank for this serve; your suggestion that was for directions you can contactlove of cooking and food. Every mentioned to several editors of Sean: [email protected] I go into the kitchen, cookbooks. Perhaps one may beGrandmom’s memory lives on in available before too long. US Region 8- Obed Vazquez-Ortizthe food I prepare. I am glad I had Wouldn't that be nice; recipes for 2 Our February 5th outing to thethe chance to learn from her. to 4 people? Call editors and ask for this. You might also mention new de Young museum was Even though things went wrong the need for larger print and my smashing. A great group of usbetween you and dad, there were hope is that they take that option went to see a wonderful exhibit:still many things about my under consideration as well. \"Hatshepsut: From Queen tochildhood that made me happy. Pharaoh\". Our next meeting will beMost of my friends did not have a Pickle Publishing on March 11 in Martinez at Obedmom and dad in the same www.pickle-publishing.com also and Marcos’ place. Lunch at 3pmhousehold. I am thankful for what has a vegetarian cookbook in and meeting 4-6. Our discussionboth of you did for all of us. If I which all ingredients are readily will be centered on the video \"Inhad a thousand tongues they available about anywhere one My Shoes: Stories of youth withwould not be enough to tell you lives. There are approximately 100 LGBT parents\".how grateful I am for you and -150 recipes in this book for $7.95Dad. I hope to see you soon. plus postage. ! Older Adults: Virginia ReynoldsPlease give me a call. I want to share with you some Kinship NewsLove always. upcoming Live Web Seminars &Your son Carlton Australia: Noel Thorpe Seminars We would like to offer all of youPostnote: My mother responded. Registration fees includeShe told me that she loved me for a special invitation to attend our complementary continuingwho I am. She came to visit for the Kampmeeting Down Under the education credits, unless otherwisefirst time. She met my partner weekend of September 29-October noted. Promoting Safety andVictor and that went well. She 1. You will be able to meet more Independence through Olderbrought my sister Kim, my baby of our Kinship family, enjoy the Driver Wellness - (Note: Thissister Norma, my nieces Jessica and incomparable Australian on-demand seminar is offered freeLauren, my nephew Christopher hospitality, gain a spiritual of charge. Continuing educationand my great nephew William. ! blessing, and be part of credits require additional payment.) welcoming spring to our part of To Your Health the world. We already have two Psychosocial Issues, Assessment wonderful speakers lined up. For and Treating Interventions withRen Reynolds more information and to register, Cluttering Behavior Reducing the contact Noel. Risk of Falling Among One thing that might assist Community-Living Older Adultsmany of us to more healthy living Brasil: Itamar Matoso (Note: This seminar is free with ais eating more brown rice and fresh We would like to thank Ed Viera promotional coupon). For morevegetables. We often do not get information you can write to me at:whole grains that are essential. We for translating Ben Kemena’s [email protected] !can sprinkle a little of the liquid paper: The Biologicalamino acids on the rice instead of Determinants of Homosexual Need Extra Copies??salt. That addition to our diet may Behavior – Biology or Sin tobe one thing all of us can easily do Portuguese. We are printing it and If you would like to have someas a first step toward a healthier distributing it here. “personal ministries” materials inlifestyle; substitute the rice for the form of additional copies of thepotatoes three times a week or eat US Region 1 – Catherine Taylor issues from the workshop onrice for breakfast or for your supper. March 4 -We would like to Homosexuality and the Seventh Day Adventist Church, Fred says invite you to join us at Sean you are welcome to contact the Water’s home in Boston for an 11 office at [email protected] and he will dispatch them to you. ! 13

IS THE SDA CHURCH YOU The Journal of Seventh-day Adventist Kinship International, Inc. ATTEND GAY FRIENDLY? Editor: Catherine Taylor Submit articles or letters for The Kinship office is frequently Circulation: Fred Casey publication to the Connection Editor asked for referrals to gay friendly European Editor: Ruud Kieboom at [email protected]. SDA churches. Unfortunately the Photography: Karen Wetherell Production: Ted Compton The mention or appearance of list is VERY short and positive Printing: Doolittle’s PrintServe any names, organizations or referrals too infrequent. If you are photographs in this publication is The Connection is published by not meant to imply a fact or attending an SDA Church you Seventh-day Adventist Kinship statement about sexual orientation would consider to be gay friendly, International, Inc. Principal office: or activity. P.O. Box 49375, Sarasota, FL accepting, or at least tolerant, 34230-6375; 866-732-5677. Subscription requests or address please email or write to the Kinship Submissions are welcome, and may changes may be sent to: be directed to the editor at Subscriptions, P.O. Box 49375, office with the name and address [email protected] or Sarasota, FL 34230-6375, or call toll of the church (see page 15 for mailed to the principle office, free from inside the U.S. at 866 addresses). Additionally, if you address above. Include your name 732-5677 or toll from outside the know of an SDA Pastor who is as you want it published, address U.S. at 01-941-371-7606, or email open to LGBTIs for positive, and telephone number. If an item is [email protected]. The Kinship to be acknowledged or returned, mailing list is confidential and used affirming counseling, please write please include a self-addressed, only by Kinship officers. The the name and email address of this stamped envelope. Some mailing list is not sold, rented, or Connection contributors have exchanged for any purpose. pastor to the Kinship office. chosen to remain anonymous or use Kinship’s list of gay friendly SDA pseudonyms. © 2006 Connection. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or churches and pastors is not The Connection reserves the right in part without permission is published (denominational “don’t to edit manuscripts for length, prohibited. OPINIONS EXPRESSED syntax, grammar, and clarity. HEREIN ARE NOT NECESSARILY ask, don’t tell”) but kept in the THOSE OF SDA KINSHIP Kinship office for referral purposes. INTERNATIONAL. Thank you. ! Member of the Gay and Lesbian Press Association. Resources Them has been recommended by Inside of that I think readersBook: My Son Beloved Stranger by PFLAG and can be found at would like to hear your ideas orCarrol Grady http://www.trafford.com/4dcgi/vie experiences on: your history as a w-item?item=10043. Seventh Day Adventist, your school The book includes an additional experiences, wrestling with thefinal chapter highlighting her Carrol Grady has suggested Fifth scriptures or any efforts to changejourney and understanding of the Generation: Spiritual Treasures of your orientation, buildingsubject of homosexuality since the Mature Adventism by John McLarty relationships, buildingrelease of her original book written (who was at the Menucha community, your relationship withunder the pseudonym of Kate Kampmeeting several years ago). the church now, your relationshipMcLaughlin ! with God now, mentors that you have had along the way. WeVideo: Open Heart Open Hands Hear Ye! Hear Ye! And Write would like to make sure to hear Both items have a synopsis of Ye!!!! Please. from some of you in long term relationships as well as the rest ofcontent as well as the pricing on This is a call for your stories. A us. And and and….we want tothe web page: representative from Pacific Press make sure that this is a book thatwww.someone-to-talk-to.net/order. Publishing Association has asked shares the stories of ourhtm. They are also both available us to submit a book that talks international members. We want tofor order via the KOL web page. about our lives. The four focus hear experiences from Africa, AsiaThe easiest way to purchase is with topics are based on developmental Australia, Europe, North America,PayPal. They can also be stages: 1) Sensitization -- I'm and South America. Catherine ispurchased by sending a check or different helping to edit this adventure andmoney order to the Kinship office. is looking forward to hearing from 2) Identity Confusion -- Could I you: [email protected] ! Ren would like to recommend be gay?another book for those who arestruggling with the Biblical issues 3) Identity Assumption -- Iconnected with being lesbian or know I'm gaygay. Trafford Publishing: ABiblical Defense Guide for Gays, 4) Commitment -- I'm okayLesbians and Those Who Love being gay and telling others14

Kinship Kampmeeting in Kampala, Uganda April 1-2 Spirituality, Fellowship, News from Africa, Planning our Work. For more information and to register: Contact [email protected] in Rehoboth Beach, Delaware USA April 21-23 Friday evening Crafts, Supper, Vespers and Fellowship Sabbath Speaker: Zack Platnk For more information and to register: Contact [email protected] European Kinship Meeting in Gudhem, Sweden July 14 – 17 with holiday options afterwards!Bed and breakfast or Hotel Olaf. Walks, roses, spiritual growth, building ourcommunity, prayers and laughter. Enjoy the midnight sun.For more information or to register you can find us at Kinship on Line or contact:[email protected] MY SON, BELOVED STRANGER A book by Carrol Grady New edition, April 2005How can this type of thing happen to an Adventist family??? Carrol choked down a few bites of salad, then got up and wandered aimlessly through the house…. At last, with great difficulty, she forced herself to face the terrible question. Is it possible that her son could be a homosexual? The question, with all its implications, reverberated in her mind…. Is he eternally lost? Will he die of AIDS? Could we have done something to prevent it? Why? Why? WHY? An occasional shuddering breath was all that remained of her tears as one last question filled her mind. What has this been like for her son? 15

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