SDA Kinship - CONNECTION - March 2019

CONNECTION Kampmeeting Edition A PUBLICATION OF SEVENTH-DAY ADVENTIST KINSHIP INTERNATIONAL, INC.

This is the Kampmeeting edition of Connection Magazine. Kampmeeting is SDA Kinship’s annual conference where we come together to renew friendships, make new friends, enjoy entertainment, renew our faith, and more. Our 2018 Kampmeeting was hosted in Baltimore, Maryland, United States.

SUMMER MEMORIES Ellen Do you remember those yearly reports you had to Then it was time for Kampmeeting with its speakers and stories. This Henderson do in school? Write about what you did this year, the speakers were exceptional and I appreciated everything I summer. Well, here’s mine: I got to spend time learned from the seminars. Our keynote speaker’s willingness to share with my family this summer. his personal story and struggles was powerful. Community is built from vulnerability, and his story brought a sense of sacredness to the room. You may be thinking, All right. Good for you… so what? Another highlight was speaker and author Kathy Baldock, who took us on a journey through the history of LGBTIQ issues in the United States. But I’m not talking about my biological or legal family. I'm talking about We also got a taste of what members of our community experience in my chosen family: Kinship. I love both my families, but Kinship is where other contexts, namely in African nations or as refugees or immigrants. I’m able to be authentically me. It was a good reminder that our community is widespread. While each of us has a unique path, we can share the journey together as a family. For the first time, I decided to go all in and sign up for the Women’s Retreat before Kampmeeting. I’m so glad I did, because I met many Interspersed among the seminars were long walks and talks with wonderful people and created memories I will treasure. We did a lot of friends ––many of whom I only see once a year. One of my best things you’d expect, such as eating chocolate and ice cream and memories was the Sabbath afternoon barbecue. I went from group to swapping life stories. We also made time for more unexpected group talking and reconnecting with old friends. experiences, like visiting an art museum and watching fireworks explode over a farmer’s field. Looking back, I’m so glad I chose to attend Women’s Retreat and Kampmeeting. It was a special time! Kinship is a crazy, diverse, If you’ve been around Kinship before, you know we love to laugh. beautiful family, and I’m proud to call them mine.  Women’s Retreat is no exception. Laughter was a constant companion, joining us as we played card games, pieced together puzzles, and PS If you haven’t attended a Kinship Kampmeeting yet, I encourage broke bread together. you to come in 2019!



Communion

Kampmeeting is SDA Kinship’s annual conference where we come together to renew friendships, make new friends, enjoy entertainment, renew our faith, and more. This, our 40th Annual Kampmeeting takes place July 10-13, 2019, at the Red Lion Hotel On The River - Jantzen Beach, Portland, Oregon, United States; Men's Mingle, July 8-10; and our Women & Children First Retreat is July 6-10. Portland, Oregon’s largest city, sits on the Columbia and Willamette Rivers, in the shadow of snow-capped Mount Hood. It’s known for its parks, bridges, and bicycle paths, as well as for its eco-friendliness and its microbreweries and coffeehouses. Iconic Washington Park encompasses sites from the formal Japanese Garden to Oregon Zoo and its railway. The city hosts thriving art, theater, and music scenes. EARLY BIRD RATES, DISCOUNTS, ACCOMMODATIONS AND OTHER INFO AT SDAKINSHIP.ORG/KAMPMEETING





Give OUT Day is the ONLY national day of giving for the LGBTQ community – a 24-hour online fundraising event that unites the LGBTQ community from all 50 states, Puerto Rico, and D.C. to raise critically needed funds. Throughout the day-long event, thousands of people make gifts to support a vast array of LGBTQ nonprofits across the country, ranging from the arts to social services agencies, advocacy groups to sports leagues, community centers to health care nonprofits. 



SDA Kinship’s Robert L. Ramsay Publishes Book Life is unfolding like a dream for Rather than hold the Adventist church up to ridicule, I \"invented\" the Tabernacle graduate student, Marc LaChance. of Believers' Assembly (TBA). The good old TBA had a prophet, Brother Tingley In his final year at university, student (Ellen White) (who also makes an appearance in one of my short stories). housing pairs him with Howard Hildebrandt. Howard is built like a –––––––––––––––––––––––––– linebacker, Marc’s dream of what a real man should look like. He Robert lives in White Rock, British Columbia and has been a Kinship member discovers that Howard shares his since the 1980s, having heard of Kinship’s existence via a local cable television minority affectional orientation, and program in Winnipeg, Manitoba. It was an interview style program called the two men become lovers. Coming Out, hosted by Chris Vogel, one of the first gay activists in Canada. The closing credits included a list of gay Christian organizations such as Dignity Looking forward to graduation, they (gay Catholic). “I almost fell off the chair when I saw SDA Kinship on the list.” plan to escape Winnipeg’s cold, He wrote to the TV station to get Kinship's address, then contacted Ben Pickell, prairie winters by moving to one of Kinship's founders. “I was sent a newsletter and a list of members. The Vancouver, British Columbia. They closest one was Gary Stebbeds in Wisconsin. He and I became good friends. imagine their life on the Pacific We chatted by telephone every Friday evening until he passed away a couple coast: a house with an ocean view, years ago.” winter weekends skiing Grouse Mountain, and summers sailing the I wanted to find Kinship members closer to Salish Sea. where I lived so using my own name and contact information, I naively placed an ad for At spring reading break, they make Kinship in my local newspaper. Within days of it an exploratory trip to Vancouver. Marc appearing I was summoned to appear in the obtains an interview with a suburban school district and is promised a teaching pastor's office. I was asked to recant my belief position in September. If Howard can land an engineering job on the coast, their that gay relationships are right and accepted by dream will be realized. God or resign my membership. I refused both requests. I had to hand in my church keys: no Marc’s happiness is shattered when Howard tramples their dream into the more piano playing for the children's divisions, prairie dust by accepting an engineering position in Winnipeg. His conservative no more leading discussion in an adult SS class, religious upbringing tells him that men who love men will burn in hellfire forever. no more choir practice and organ playing. (But, The guilt over his relationship with Marc is making him sick. He has no choice please continue to attend church, even though but to break it off. we've disfellowshipped you.) Twenty-five years later, disillusioned with his lonely life on the coast, Marc I quit attending within a few weeks and except returns to the prairies. He reconnects with his former lover, but learns that for occasional attendance at Adventist churches where pastors are informed Howard, after undergoing reparative therapy, plans to marry a woman. and friendly, I worship in churches of other denominations. Will Marc win Howard back before he makes the biggest mistake of his life. Currently I play organ for Christ Alive Community Church in Vancouver, British Columbia. Further to the above, one of the characters, Howard, attends a year-long reparative therapy clinic in Pomona, California. In doing research, I read the Ron Restoring the Dream is available on Amazon. Lawson reports on Colin Cook and also spoke with men at a GCN conference who had undergone reparative therapy.



TO OUR METHODIST On Tuesday, February 26, 2019, the United Methodist Discipline, a fundamental book that outlines the FRIENDS: WE Church (UMC) voted in a special session of the denomination's law, doctrine, and procedures. General Conference (their top legislative body) to The result of that commission, endorsed by the COB, UNDERSTAND. WE adopt the “Traditional Plan” which sought to was called the “One Church Plan” which would have SHARE YOUR strengthen enforcement of the denomination’s allowed accommodations for same-sex marriage FRUSTRATION homosexuality prohibitions. It was passed by a vote of and LGBTIQ clergy. Currently, only celibate LGBTIQ 438-384.   members are permitted to be ordained.  This special session of the UMC, the second largest Seventh-day Adventist Kinship International, an protestant denomination in the United States, was the advocacy community for LGBTIQ individuals with a result of a 2018 report of a commission established by Seventh-day Adventist connection, has been paying the Council of Bishops (COB) to review their Book of close attention to proceedings of the UMC session.  “ THIS SISITA-DNOOWTHNE-RANSTDA-CNRDY-UMPO-AMNEDN- T CLAP, Our denominations share many similarities, including cried.” This is another stand-up-and-clap, sit-down- the presence of influential conservative groups that and-cry moment, according to Rev. Thomas. We strongly oppose affirmation, opportunities, and agree. treatment. This was reflected in the UMC session that featured impassioned and emotionally charged Martin Luther King Jr. once said, “Let us realize the speeches from both sides.  arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice.” On the 26th day of African-American History We want to highlight the words of Rev. Byron Thomas Month, we sat down and cried in solidarity with our who compared the issue to the church's earlier LGBTIQ friends and allies in the United Methodist handling of racial segregation within the Church. denomination. Thomas, in his impassioned speech, quoted the late Bishop Thomas of North Carolina: “In Tomorrow, we stand up and continue our work in 1939 the UMC was trying to figure out what to do solidarity and unison to move that arc towards justice with black people. At that GC…the white folk stood for LGBTIQ Christians. Justice will come.  up and clapped and the black folk sat down and









A miracle called Colombia Colombia is a South American country with a diversity Bogota; and workshops on diversity, art, and economic entrepreneurship of regions and beautiful landscapes. This diversity is were given to our members in the different cities. also observed in its people, both in the ethnic and sexual diversity. Kinship Colombia finished 2018 delivering a total of 300 gifts to children of limited resources in the city of Bogota and provision of books for a school in the province of Santander. Three years ago Kinship Colombia was organized with a small group in the city of Bogota. Today we have two additional groups in the cities of In December we were recognized for our work with the San Sebastian Medellin and Cartagena with close to 50 members. Award for best organization that promotes spirituality in LGBTIQ people. In 2018 we managed to work on diverse fronts carrying out a number of activities in the three cities, serving current and former Adventists, their friends and families. Last August, Kinship Colombia hosted an event for LGBTIQ children who come together every year to talk about their experience and build friendships. The theme was Family the Best Place to Grow. In addition, we have healthy living programs that include ecological walks and vegetarian cooking courses to promote healthier lifestyles for our friends and members. Under our the ecology programs, 100 trees were planted in the city of





We have some great news for Kinship members who are 65+. Kinship Seniors! We have a new Facebook group just for you to talk and discuss things that are relevant to you! Taylor Ruhl has volunteered to be the coordinator for this new group and we are excited about this new supportive community. If you have (or will soon) achieve the age of 65 or older, please let me know that you want me to add you to this Facebook group, please send an email to [email protected]. SDA Kinship Welcomes Interim Director of Youth Interests Last December, we welcomed Peter Reynold as our Interim Director of Youth Interests. Peter is a native of China, currently studying in Ohio, United States. “We are excited to have him and his enthusiasm join the leadership team and work to help promote Kinship's mission worldwide,” said Floyd Poenitz, Kinship’s Vice President. Peter takes on the role previously held by Scott Bird who graciously served in the position for six months. Scott, in his departure, shared his appreciation for Kinship with these words: “I know Kinship will continue to be a light to others around the globe just as it was for me. Your work is invaluable. It is honorable. And it is so, so worth it.” The board of directors wishes Scott well.

THE REST OF THE DISCLAIMER: The material in this chapter Colin didn’t pretend he wasn’t excited. —naked—and express gratitude for all READING STORY  deals with sensitive issues with respect to On the contrary, he casually my body—especially those parts I did   the author's experience when he was in acknowledged it. He very comfortably not like or felt deficient in. It was counseling with Mr. Cook. Some may find talked about things which most people difficult to dismiss the benefit of letting A MESSAGE FROM this section upsetting. At the same time, would go red in the face over. I found go of my obsessive bashfulness or THE AUTHOR the author would like to stress that these his frankness helpful even disarming. resentment over aspects of my body events were in 1982 and that a lot of time It seemed logical to me that a when Colin had, because of childhood If you are reading my story for has passed since then. The author has a counselor would be at ease polio, body issues of his own.   the first time and you feel you long history with Mr. Cook. Over the last discussing such things. As Colin are missing some context, I couple of years, he has been in contact talked about what had occurred, my I was deeply touched when he shared suggest you start at the with Mr. Cook about these incidents. This, discomfort subsided. Then he used his discomfort and embarrassment beginning with the May 2015 however, is for a later chapter. the situation as a teaching moment—a over being teased because of a leg issue of Connection magazine. moment to model how “I” might marred by polio. I wondered how I Why am I writing my story in –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– respond in similar situations. would have dealt with this when such detail? In short, I am This “desensitization” training was growing up. If he could learn to praise answering questions while When I previously described somewhat unnecessary because only God for this very visible condition, hoping to educate. Over the my first visit with Colin once in my life had I ever had an surely I could learn to appreciate my years, I have been asked the (Cook), I indicated I had had erection while hugging a male body which was untouched by polio. same questions over and over a very positive experience. In friend, and Colin knew this from our As well, he told me that acceptance of by friends, family, and church fact, there were multiple conversations. I had, however, often my body was part of reclaiming my members. The answers to those benefits. I arrived in Reading felt betrayed by emotional longings heterosexuality. If his counsel had questions are found in hoping to be known on a and fantasies when in very close stopped there, it might well have different decades of my life. I'm deeply personal level; I was proximity to male friends. I think, passed the scrutiny of peers. It went grateful to Connection not to be disappointed. I however, that Colin was projecting his well beyond that, however. Perhaps Magazine for giving me this bared my soul in ways I had own erotic experience onto me, and because I expressed embarrassment space to share my story.  never done before. I began to therefore hoped I could learn to relax about trying the exercise on my own, Publishing as I write is a great purge twenty years of when such “stirrings” occurred.   Colin persuaded me to do it with him motivator! shame, self-condemnation, in his home. By the time we had and emotional isolation.  A second “therapeutic” exercise took finished praising God for my body, we me well beyond my comfort level.   were both naked.    That I was able to speak freely about During our conversations, I confessed my attractions without being a that I had always felt uncomfortable in I felt extremely awkward during depraved freak—an abomination my body. Although I knew many that “counseling” session. While I took punishable by death—was life-giving. confident guys who were my size, at comfort that another man was However, not everything about the 5’ 6” tall and all of 120 pounds, I felt reassuring me that I need not worry visit was healthy.  very small, and I looked young for my about being inadequate—that things age—not that that bothers me now were fine just as they were—I felt a On several occasions, usually during that I’m in my sixties! During our significant conflict between my longing our formal counseling sessions, Colin conversations, Colin also learned that for affirmation and a nagging sense initiated lengthy and affectionate hugs. I felt “inadequate” in other ways.   that this seemed professionally As a touch-deprived 26-year-old, I inappropriate.  welcomed the affection, but I was In response to my disclosure of my startled when he became aroused. body image issues, Colin suggested READ THE REST When that happened, I was an exercise meant to help me affirm OF THE STORY AT uncomfortable.   the body God had given me. He http://bit.ly/journeych18 encouraged me to stand in front of a mirror in the privacy of my own room

Kampmeeting Portraits

EUROPEAN KINSHIP MEETING Join us for an unforgettable spiritual experience September Day trips to London, Winchester, Salisbury (the world famous Stonehenge is 5-9, 2019 at the stunningly beautiful seaside retreat Othona nearby) and Brighton (the UK’s gay capital) are all possible. The local area is in West Dorset, set in beautiful countryside. rich in natural beauty and offers plenty of opportunities for country walks and Wake up to birdsong in the woods and fall asleep to the sound of the waves on the beach relaxation. below. Prices start from only €309 (Euros) per person (with our The historic market town of Dorchester (birthplace of world- Early Bird Discount). The price includes all meals, and famous author Thomas Hardy) and the seaside resort of Othona provides wholesome home cooking with Weymouth are nearby. The beach is part of the Jurassic Coast, vegetarian and vegan options. Accommodation is mainly a World Heritage Site that stretches from Exmouth in East in twin rooms (two single beds), but a number of single Devon to Studland Bay in Dorset. The county boasts picture- and family rooms are also available. perfect English villages with thatched cottages and breathtakingly beautiful scenery. We will also be welcoming the Sabbath with a Messianic Jewish Service called “Kabbalat Shabbat,” led by a There are good public transport links to Weymouth, and Othona is only a few Kinship member who is a gay Messianic Jew. miles away. Both Southampton and Bristol airports are nearby, serving most European cities with budget flights. In addition, the two big international London Further information about the venue can be found othonawestdorset.org.uk. airports (Heathrow and Gatwick) are only three hours away. The airports all have good bus and train connections. We are expecting demand to be heavy, so book NOW to avoid disappointment. Places are allocated strictly on a first come, first served basis. Booking and more information: sdakinship.org/ekm

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©2019 SEVENTH-DAY ADVENTIST KINSHIP INTERNATIONAL, INC. PO BOX 244 ORINDA, CA 94563 USA WWW.SDAKINSHIP.ORG All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited. Opinions expressed herein are not necessarily those of Seventh-day Adventist Kinship International, Inc.