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EAxpskatBAD ADVICE... the Not all advice is good and not all people are as genuine as you may think. Enjoy our 'bad advice' column from the expert we have all met, know and love... the Expat. W ho said there is no more AI and sex dolls can really help! Recently, Terry: Yes and for our introduction services, romance in the world? during the Euro football tournaments, we use a Photoshop wizard and recommend No fish in the sea? No we had many rave reviews from male plastic surgery to the ugliest of ducklings. way back from a rocky customers. We do say however, if there is a photo road after an avalanche? We present them with our authentic discrepancy from the photo, it is best to join This is why this month we are joined by our Japanese sex dolls who are programmed our ‘dating in the dark’ evenings! Thereby relationship and dating experts for ExPats to cheer to their partners team and reward the only image the date has in their mind in the Algarve. them with a beer out of their advanced is the one they show and we can mutually Terry and Terri of “Algarve Advanced refrigerated torso and flatter them whatever disappoint them both! Relationships, Dating, Crisis Management the result! It is very advanced stuff! Terri: Oh and Terri don’t forget to highlight and Peoples’ Technologies” join us to Wow, I like the sound of that! Sign me our Gold-diggers Platinum service. We discuss living, loving and laughing in the up! But I also read about your incredible give our Platinum Members a full financial 21st century! single events. Why would you advise and health itinerary of their prospective We are pleased to meet you Terry and lonely ExPats to attend? ‘Millionaire’ date as well as legal support Terri! First of all, why did you set up your Terri: Well we know it is hard for people to to avoid prenups. We find these younger dating and relationship agency? find a soul mate so perfect such as my Terry clients, like older clients with complicated Terry: Moving from Chigwell, Essex to the Teddy Bear, the rarest form of love. health issues and a preparedness to change Algarve, our single friends would often say, Terry: I love you babes…! their wills! “Terry and Terri”, “how do you do it”? Being Terri: You too squidgy bear! Well, our friend That sounds very romantic! What if so romantic, in love, wise and beautiful and Captain Eddy has a boat, we literally call people want real love and the spark back buff in your fifties”! “If only we could be like our love boat! Through our advanced in their relationship? you”... interrogations and Cosmo quizzes, we Terri: We advise them to have things like Terri: Yes, so we self-qualified ourselves match singles by whoever signs up and put naked Sushi nights eating off each others as experts and thought after a stretch of them on our sensual, sensuous boat tour body. Though the pandemic has stopped motivational love talks, how we could help experience. Anyone who hasn’t copped off that for a while, so as sex therapists, we our feeble minded, lonely and unlucky in by the end of the night is thrown overboard! Zoom them and advise them on all sorts of love friends”! And we all cheer! Kink and sex therapy. Oh, wonderful! And the technologies Wow, that must be a challenge for some Terry: Yeah I really enjoy that bit! description in your company description, people! Terri: It is very edifying and it does please what does that mean? Terry: We do give them life jackets! Terry’s inner voyeur! (Terry looks flushed Terri; “Oh darling! We are always on the Oh, er… OK and we hear you run other and starts salivating). lookout for new technologies to help events that are more spiritual? So how do people find you for this relationships and the lonely. We find if Terri: Yes, our good friend Beanie Kundalini invaluable service? people are in conflict in their relationships, a runs naked Yoga sessions, ending in a Terri: Well aside from the escort agency we good behavioural technique is using shock very liberal form of intoxicated ayahuasca run, our therapeutic services can be found collars with your partner, when you are ecstatic dancing that commences after the on www.lovetechnology.orgasm because mutually annoyed by each other. vomiting. we have many happy clients who are happy The shocking becomes so frequent that we We also do past life regression events, they have fit us into the agendas of love induce a Stockholm Syndrome of fatigue where we bring forward matches from the and filled themselves with our overflowing and fear, so people learn not to shock each past life, be they were Marie Antoinette, advice! other and cower rather than argue. That is Cleopatra or Hercules or maybe Braveheart We always say “Terry and Terri square is the when true romance can begin when people in their past lives. We find people find love root of love” so take a shot! are nearly ready to divorce! The collar when they release the shackles and go cannot be removed unless by a surgeon. back a few centuries under hypnosis to the Terry: And for other customers, ones that clichés of who they were before! Like true fail our single nights and our dating agency soulmates who knew each over centuries and have a litany of failed relationships are back, every time! are, well getting less attractive, advances in That sounds, well, beautiful. 52 www.eastalgarvemag.com
RESTAURANTE Ruy Barros Serenidade FRANGANARIO Hairstyling & Beauty Salon Estética e Saúde Tavira Ladies & Gents • Podiatry/Chiropody TRADITIONAL Welcome to our new • Waxing, Facial PORTUGUESE CUISINE space in the centre treatments, Body Shape, of Tavira! With a Massage Travessa Almirante Candido dos professional and Reis 139, Tavira 8800-318 friendly service. • Manicures, Pedicures Cut, colouring, and Semi premanent Telephone: +351 963 882 952 perming, hair extensions, hairstyling, gel polish Facebook: Franganario Tavira hair treatments, massages, face/body treatments, make up artist, epilation, • Lasers, Radiofrequency, laser, lash extensions, gel nails, nail art, IPL and other energy gel polish and much more. based devices MON - SAT 09.00H - 19.00H Praceta Eduardo Felix Franco, All year 10 Loja F, TAVIRA Travessa Zacarias Guerreiro No16, Tavira 963 458 163 Tel +351 281 023 636 Mob +351 964 888 810 or 913 999 906 Email: [email protected] Rui Barros Cabeleireiros e Estetica NURSING CARE The family-run Amesbury Abbey Group offers an elegant retirement in country house style at Here when Monte da Palhagueira. you need us For those who are looking for the reassurance of www.eastalgarvemag.com constant professional care, our nursing care may be the way forward. Alongside all the benefits of residential care, our nursing care adds the additional security of 24-hour care provision from qualified nursing professionals. Our team spend a lot of time getting to know each resident as an individual, learning their preferences and understanding their concerns, working hand in hand with GPs and other associated care professionals to provide outstanding personalised nursing care. Our exceptional care team treat all our residents with respect, dignity and friendship, and our nursing home has a warm, family atmosphere. Each individual aspect of our nursing care is designed to give our residents the best possible quality of life and the highest standards of 24-hour care. For further information, please contact Senior Sister Hazel Gordon at T: +351 289 990 900 E: [email protected] Monte da Palhagueira, Gorjôes, 8005-488 Santa Barbara de Nexe, Algarve www.retirementvillageportugal.co.uk 53
Golf Meet the member Meet Club captain of Tavira Golf, June Scott Last month I met up with this years I got down to twenty, my aim is to get to 18. the staff, you can not fault the staff, they are Captain of Tavira golf club June What's your favourite hole here at Benamor? all so friendly and helpful. When we had our Scott to hear about her thoughts I think it would probably be 14, I know it is presentation day, I came in early with the polish on the course and to find out a difficult for the guys, but because of the position for the trophies, but they had already cleaned bit more about what it's been like of the red tee's I can get there in two. them for us, it was a lovely touch, they are like being a club captain. And the one that you dread? a family. June, thank you for coming along this Well, I go between 6 and 16, 16 is long for a Have you been a captain anywhere else? morning, tell me, how long have you been a par 4, and I am tired by the time I get to 16, Yes, I was Ladies captain at Carnwath, at the member here? especially in this weather. same time my husband was Gents captain, a Under various options about 16 years. How does this course compare to others in first for the club. Wow... that's a long time, you must know the the Algarve? How has your captaincy been here? course well! Well as I have said, it is not the longest course Well obviously last year was very, very difficult Well... you would like to think so! but because of the positioning of the tree's, it because of the Covid situation, we did not What was your home course? is tight. I have played a lot of the courses and manage any fundraisers, so hopefully this year... A small gem, a bit like this one, called Carnwath they are quite open, here you have just got to we have had one already and we are hoping to in south Lanarkshire, Scotland, it's a bit like this be fairly accurate. get captain's day and Charity day to raise as course in as much it's not a long course, but if What advice would you give someone who much money for the charities, because that's you are out of position you pay for it. hasn't played this course before? the whole point of the captaincy, so fingers How many years have you been playing golf? Stay straight... it does not matter if you are crossed we can go ahead with that. About 18 years short, just stay straight. OK, so what's your current handicap? What do you think makes this course in Thank you so much for your time June, it has Currently 21.6 particular, successful? been a pleasure meeting you, hopefully we will And your lowest handicap? I think it is the whole ambiance of the place, get a game together soon. FINADRMIAENR TASTE THE DIFFERENCE! Home grown spices imported from India gives a unique flavour producing the best Indian cuisine in the East Algarve! CABANAS 54 www.eastalgarvemag.com
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Energy PICTURE PERFECT Meet artists Erik Arnell & Micael Kallin from Stockholm, Sweden. E rik Arnell & Micael Kallin found with printing techniques on various materials, Galeria Tavira when they were travelling such as different fine art papers, aluminium around the Algarve about 10 and glass. Contemporary years ago. Since then they have Their inspiration comes from their travels. Art Gallery been back five times and have Arnell says \"All our travels in about 40 developed a love for the place. countries have inspired us very much. This month in Artesis Their art is modern photo art and have been Especially the time we spent in Brazil, where doing this since the late 1990's. They have we also have lived for longer periods. This has 'Summer Blues' had many exhibitions in Sweden and also influenced our work\". in São Paulo and Lisbon. Micael's portraits The equipment they use is a full frame, digital Watercolours by Ernesto have also been published in Swedish and small format camera (Sony Alpha 7ii) with a Oil Paintings by Sushma European newspapers and magazines. premium 55mm (Carl Zeiss) lens. They are currently exprementing a great deal They have a gallery in the Swedish real estate Open Fri, Sat & Sun mornings 10am to 1pm Fastighetsbyrån in Tavira, in front of the river at rua Jacques Now Open 6pm to 9pm on Fridays Pessoa 26. Normally you can meet them there on Fridays and Contact +351 918 973 438 Saturdays, 19.00-22.00 (subject to restrictions). Email: [email protected] Arnell & Micael will have their Facebook: Artesis Galeria annual \"Autumn Salon\" in Tavira, 15 Travessa Zacharias Guerreiro, Tavira on Friday 10th of September at (Near the French Bakery) 19.00. They will show a lot of new art and have a nice evening www.eastalgarvemag.com with other artists and art lovers in Tavira. Everyone is welcome to join. See more photos and read more about them on: www.amigogallery.com https://www.facebook.com/ amigogallery 56
New Artists andwwwnwwew.wt.taavviriraaddaarrtteess.c.cowommww.taviradartes.com Artwork... Come and visit.ViVsitsiut su:s:TrTarvaevsessasaJaJcaqcuqeusesPePsessosaoa8C,8VaT,ilslaTiutvasuiv:rsi9:ar6,Ta28,r8a0v081e20s-10s31a-173J47a4cEqmuaeilsusP:etasvsoiraad8a,Tratevisr@a,g8m80a0il-.3co74m CaClal lul su:s9: 69262010212111111FoElmlEomwaialuiusl:su:st:atvawivriwardawad.fraatrceteseb@[email protected]/.otcamovmiradartes www.instagram.com/tavira.dartes FoFlolollwowusu:s: wwwwww.fa.fcaecbeoboko.kc.ocmom/t/atvaivriardaadratretses wwwwww.in.isntsatgargarmam.c.ocmom/t/atvaivriar.ad.adratretses Typical Campo Martires da República 8800-378 Tavira Tandoori Restaurant, Tavira Opposite the PSP Police station Tel. 281 324 305 EMAIL: [email protected] Art supplies: Oils, Acrylics, Water Colour, Washes, Brushes, Canvasses and more! Haberdashery & Fabrics: A huge range of fabrics, wools, threads, zips, buttons and sewing equipment. Picture Framing: Large selection of picture frames. Hobbies: Thousands of items to decorate and beautify for the hobbyist. 125 Indian dishes, 36 Pizza, Pasta & Kebabs 57 Find us opposite the bandstand in Tavira R. José Pires Padinha 18, 8800-354 Tavira www.eastalgarvemag.com
Sport Padel A game for all ages! Jake Fox from Break Padel & Tenns Co. tell us all we need to know about Padel Padel is a racket sport which It is for all ages and levels Padel will make you laugh while staying fit and mixes physical activity with social Padel is a sport which adapts to the is a fantastic way to play sport and have fun interaction. It is a fun game for characteristics of each player and can be with friends. players of all ages and skill sets. thoroughly enjoyable for all players of any age BREAK PADEL & TENNIS CO. It is easy to pick up and once you or level. Break was born because three tennis players have picked up the basics you are set to enjoy Due to the recent growth of the sport you will and coaches from Tavira got tired of the same exciting long rallies! always find other players of the same level to old fashioned, standard, traditional tennis Padel is a mix between tennis and squash, it book a game! sportwear. After finding a recent passion is played in a doubles format on an enclosed The game is as simple or as complex as you for padel tennis, the boys came up with the court surrounded by walls of glass and want it to be! Padel is a sport which is easy idea to create a brand like none other which metallic mash. The court is only a third of the to begin playing and where players quickly compliments both sports. To us, the court is size of a tennis court, so you won’t spend all improve. our playground, we inspire creativity in every your time picking up balls! Social benefits on mental health movement, stroke and shot. The ball can bounce off any wall but can only The social aspects of padel are extremely Break offers stand out, limited edition, ethically hit the turf once before being returned. The beneficial to your mental well-being. Time to sourced racket sports inspired athleisure. The point and scoring system is the same used in schedule a match with three games where perfect hybrid between high performance and regular tennis. you meet, have fun while being physically casual fashion. We strive for our customers to The rules allow for the use of the back and active. It is extremely beneficial to meet up tear it up on the court and in the clubhouse! sidewalls, which results in longer rallies than with friends and play sport. While other brands focus solely on the sporting in a conventional tennis match. You must be Overall Fitness action, break aims to make you feel confident clever; strength is not an important factor in Padel boosts your overall fitness. Long in any social situation. Break recognises that padel. points get your heart pumping, burningly padel is a platform consisting of two main Padel has enjoyed tremendous growth in approximately between 400 and 700 calories factors; Physical activity and social interaction. Portugal over the last couple of years, there during a game. Other key factors worked on in Our mission is to promote a healthy lifestyle are now 244 registered padel clubs in the padel are agility, balance, and explosiveness. fuelled by mental and physical well-being. It country, over twenty of which are in the Improves coordination and reflexes is clear to us that both exercise and the social Algarve! Padel is based on coordination and quick aspects of sport are vital to overall health. The Algarve has become a hot spot for padel reflexes, these qualities will vastly improve Take a break with your friends, while having and a number of prestigious international and quickly become visible in other areas of fun and staying active! We cater for your events have taken place in Vilamoura and Vale your life. action on the court and compulsory post- do Lobo. Enjoy the company match drink! We promote swinging hard, Now I am going to take you through what I Padel is an extremely social sport which will while having fun with your buddies. believe are the five main benefits of playing always feature four friends, it is a platform Swing hard, feel good, have fun. padel! which works as a getaway in good company. www.breakpadeltennis.com 58 www.eastalgarvemag.com
SUMMER OFFER QUINTA DO VALE GOLF 2 Players + Buggy.......................110€ Green Fee.....................................45€ Receive an extra 10% Discount off of these special prices, including food and beverages, Pro shop & buggies after your first visit to Quinta do Vale. Special summer offer for members of all Portuguese or Spanish golf clubs: 20% DISCOUNT ON GREEN FEES NEW MEMBERSHIP CONDITIONS FOR 2021 IT'S NOT TOO LATE TO BECOME A BALLESTEROS SIGNATURE COURSE MEMBER AND TAKE ADVANTAGE OF: • MEMBERSHIP FEE’S STARTING FROM 855€ • 3 MONTH,6 MONTH & ANNUAL MEMBERSHIP OPTIONS • ALSO 20 GREEN FEE PACKAGES AVAILABLE Tel: +351 281 531 615 You can now check availability and book directly through our website www.quintadovalegolf.com or contact us by email [email protected]
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