Emotional Maturity

CHAPTER-I INTRODUCTION 1

Introduction > Adolescence ■S Meaning S Characteristics of Adolescence Period S Stages o f adolescence s Growth and Development during Adolescence > Home environment S Meaning s The role o f home or family in child development s Psychosocial Competence o f Adolescents and Home environment > Emotional Maturity S Meaning o f Emotional Maturity • Emotions • Characteristics of Emotions • Maturity • Nature o f Maturity • Emotional Maturity- Defined S Characteristics of Emotionally Mature Person s Development o f emotional maturity S Education in Developing Emotional Maturity 2

•f Emotional Intelligence and Emotional maturity > Parent-child relationship S Meaning S Parenting style • Theories o f child rearing • Baumrind’s general parenting styles o Authoritative parenting o Authoritarian parenting o Indulgent parenting o Neglectful parenting • Other parenting styles • Dysfunctional parenting styles > Parent-child relationship and Emotional Maturity 3

Children grow up in several environments. Home, school, and community are the setting for social and intellectual experiences from which they acquire and develop the emotions, skills, attitudes and attachments which characterize them as individuals and shape their choice and performance of adult roles (Morrison and Mcintyre, 1973). During childhood and adolescence most of the social influences upon individual can be categorized as being associated either with home or with school environments. Further In the early years the family is the most potent source of influence, but once children have entered school, new opportunities are created for adults, and for peers and older pupils to influence individual development It is well known fact that most of those who become successful in life have come from homes where parental attitude towards them is favourable and where a wholesome relationship existing between parents and children produces happy and friendly children who are constructive and affectionate members of the group By contrast, those who are unsuccessful in life usually come from homes where the parent-child relationship is unfavorable. Shah and Sharma (1984) found if parents want their children to achieve better, they should provide and maintain in the family, highly congenial atmosphere. Albers et al. (1986) showed that disturbed family functioning predicted poor quality of later intimate relationships among adolescent. Further as emotions do play central role in the life of an individual, one is expected to have higher emotional maturity in order to lead an effective life. It is also true that our behavior is constantly influenced by the emotional maturity level that we possess. Especially, the adolescents who are observed to be highly emotional in their dealings need to be studied. In view of aforementioned, an attempt is made in present study to study adolescents’ home environm ent and parent-child relationship in reference to emotional m aturity. 4

Adolescence Life is composed of three stages childhood, adolescence and old age. CHILDHOOD means promises to keep in future, ADOLESCENCE, determination in present and OLD AGE, memories of the past. Future depends on present and present is based on past. Each stage has its own characteristics, objectives and importance. If childhood is considered as golden period then adolescence is referred as precious. It acts as a bridge between childhood and old age. It attracts the researcher or even a layman to study more and more about them, especially in the field of Social Sciences, like Sociology, Psychology and Home Science etc. As children grow from year to year, they develop greater complexity in social behaviour; greater skills in getting along with people and seif control. Thus the adolescence years are a time of great increase in social development. During adolescence period an individual acquires certain beliefs, values and social skills, which become more or less a part of personality and influence his behaviour throughout the life. It is a time of great increase in independence, training, motivation and social mobilization, so during the adolescence period family attitudes and behaviour become matters of great concern to the developing boys or girls. The word ‘adolescent’ is derived from the Latin verb ‘adolescere’ meaning ‘to grow ’ or ‘to go to m aturity’ . In other words the child as a whole undergoes a complex series of changes in the various aspects of growth and development, namely physical, social, emotional and moral. The period of adolescence has been defined in the following ways (Hurlock, E B „ 1964) “Adolescence is the age of great ideals and the beginning of theories as well as the time of simple present adaptation to reality”. Piaget, J. 5

“Adolescence is that span of years during which boys and girls move from childhood to adulthood mentally, emotionally, socially and physically”. - Jersild, a.T. “Adolescence is a distinctive stage in personality development precipitated by significant changes in the bio-social status of the child” - Ausubel \"Adolescence is the bridge between childhood and adulthood. It is a time of rapid development of growing to sexual maturity, discovering one’s real self, defining personal values, and finding one’s vocational and social direction. It is also a time of testing, of pushing against one's capacities and the limitations as posed by adults.” - Ambrort, 1975 Whenever we think of adolescent, a mental picture emerges before us in which one side gives a feeling of freshness, fitness, energy, enthusiasm, idealism and the other side gives the impression being rebellious, unpredictable, shortsighted, sloppy and wild. It is because of negative traits, the potential of adolescent’s energy remains untapped. They can respond to the needs of the country only if they are offered fruitful opportunities for growing up as useful citizens If they are given careful training a great majority of them will grow up as individuals - Physically, Mentally and morally capable of playing their full part as adult members of our welfare Society Before the adolescent can successfully abandon the security of childhood dependence obtained from others, he must have some idea of who he is, where he is going and what the possibilities are of getting. There the childhood security/ insecurity play a major role in shaping and reshaping the personality of an individual. Erik Erikson (1968) identified adolescence as a crisis of identity versus role confusion. Rapid body growth and new genital maturity emphasize to young people on their impending adulthood and they begin to question their roles in adult society The most important task of adolescence is to discover “who I am” A significant aspect of this search for identity is the young person’s decision about a career. 6

Erikson sees the prime danger of this stage as identity confusion. He says this can express itself in a young person’s taking an excessively long time to reach adulthood. Adolescents may also express their confusion by acting impulsively to commit themselves poorly throughout courses of action, or by regressing into childishness to avoid resolving conflicts. He sees the childishness of adolescence and its intolerance of differences as defences against identity confusion. He also sees falling in love as an attempt to define identity. By becoming intimate with another person and sharing thoughts and feelings, the adolescent offers his or her own identity, sees is reflected in the loved one, and is better able to clarify the self. An adolescent’s rapid body changes and physical appearance affects the self-concept and personality. The effect of early or late maturing is particularly pronounced during adolescence but generally disappears in adulthood. It is a time when thinking capabilities move from the concrete to the abstract, when decisions begin to be based on shades to gray rather than black and white a time of insecurity and fear as well as optimism and hope Alexander and George (1981) reported that physical characteristics of the adolescence age (e.g. awkwardness, increase appetite and skin problems) can have a serious effect on the self-concept of the already sensitive adolescent. Developing bodies and social changes pose significant challenges and often disturbances to the self-concept of both sexes; however the changes often place an even more serious burden on girls than boys (Thournburg and Glidern, 1984) Adolescence stage become more dramatic because after the period of relatively slow growth in childhood, there is sudden period of growth spurt accompanied by rapid and uneven physical and mental development He lives in two overlapping life spaces, namely childhood and adulthood. Sometimes he is more of a child and less of an adult. In reality he is neither. The result of a study done by Bhardwaj and Kaushik (1985) showed that adolescence is a period of rapid growth and development. During this period 7

the adolescent experience socio-psychological changes. These changes result in different types of problems and crises. One of the most pronounced characteristics of this period is identity crisis. Characteristics of Adolescence Period Adolescence period is considered as a period of transition, storm and stress, problems age, change, unrealism, a time of search for identity, lack of stability and adjustment, need for self-support and a period of hero worship. At this stage an adolescent shows interest in predictable occupation, which is reasonably accurate of one’s own abilities, and interests. Stages of Adolescence Hurlock. E B. (1964) lists the entire range/span of adolescence as follows: • Pre-Adolescence --> 11-13 yrs (G irls). 13-15 yrs. (Boys) • Early-Adolescence --> 13-15 yrs (G irls): 15-17 yrs. (Boys) • Middle-Adolescence ~> 15-18 yrs (G irls): 17-19 yrs. (Boys) • Late-Adolescence --> 18-21 yrs (G irls): 19-21 yrs. (Boys) Late Adolescence: W H .O . (1984) identified people in the 15 to 24 age group as youth. The term youth refers to mean those who “after adolescence and before adulthood entered in a future stage of development” According to him the youth can be fixed roughly from 18 to mid or late 20s or perhaps even under 30. Youth has been recognized as an important resource that is full of energy, zeal, enthusiasm and drive. Physically, mentally and spiritually this group is one, which is approaching near perfection Growth and Development during Adolescence Adolescence begins in biology and ends in culture. It is a period of growth, which is characterized by rapid physical, emotional, social, moral 8

and intellectual developments. The following are the developments during adolescence: Physical Growth/ Changes in Adolescence Height and Weight (Size) and Bodily Development' There is a sudden change in height and weight due to hyperactivity of endocrine glands. The glands become active and there is increased production of hormones. There is growth in bones and muscles and as a consequence adolescent becomes conscious and comes to acquire great energy and power. Appearance and Voices: Faces becomes more angular, sound is sweeter and high-pitched in case of girls. Not only face whiskers (in boys) but also hair comes on the forearms, and legs and chest begins to appear in a good shape. In case of females, face takes on a softer look, a lip becomes fuller and the breast start filling out. Changes in Body Function: With the secretion of hormones from ductless glands, there is change in body functions. The muscles harden, menstruation start and night emissions in boys The sensory and motor organs assume their complete development during this period Sexual Development Puberty, the ‘centring event’ of adolescence, refers to the beginning of sexual maturity, which is the most important single development of the adolescent years Both the sexes develop attraction towards the opposite sex. Members of both the sexes, display a variety of attitudes towards their body changes and these attitudes influence their personality, their school work and their general adjustment to life. Mental Development The capacity that acquires and utilizes knowledge reaches its peak efficiency in this period. They become capable of accomplishing more easily efficiently and quickly intellectual tasks, define problems, concentrate for a longer time, think abstractly, development of permanent memory starts, imagination power increases, development of logic, more curious to ask 9

questions, become practical to everything, starts thinking about their future vocations and matures mentally. Religious Belief and Moral Development The adolescence period is marked by intense emotional states The adolescent does not welcome any criticism or attack upon self-prestige. Feelings of curiosity, secretiveness and guilt, group feelings, loves adventures, travel and wandering Emotions become realistic, sometimes is over-joyed by success, but at the same time extremely depressed and sad by imagining the problems of finding a job. Adolescents may be termed moody because their emotions fluctuate too rapidly. Social Development They are tremendously sensitive to social stimuli; ‘Peer Culture’ is very common in this period. Gregarious instinct plays an important role. Adolescents like to work in festivals, fairs, etc. do social service for the society at times. During this period loyalty to group is strengthened and an insight is developed into social human relation They often come into conflict with adults on social problems and traditions of the community. Leadership quality also develops in this period. Home environment In the adolescent years the informal context of home environment provides a framework (whether smoothening or constraining) which structures behaviour, in different ways .The home environment, in which adolescents live, is not only a projection of family identity, but also an expression or physical translation of cultural believes, practices and behaviour. A home is a place of residence or refuge and comfort. It is usually a place in which an individual or a family can rest and be able to store personal property. Most modern-day households contain sanitary facilities and a means of preparing food. Animals have their own homes as well, either living in the wild or in a domesticated environment As an alternative to the 10

definition of \"home\" as a physical locale, home may be perceived to have no physical defimtion-instead, home may relate instead to a mental or emotional state of refuge or comfort. Home environment is the quality and quantity of the cognitive, emotional and social support that has been available to the child within the home and connotes the psychological environment of home The total home environment refers to both positive and negative conditions which interact with each other, either favourably or unfavourably, to determine home environment to be 'better' or 'poor1 Home environment refers to aspects of people’s domestic lives that contribute to their living conditions. These factors may be physical (poverty, psychological conditions due to parenting; social circumstances (nest, living etc or wider cultural patterns of life related to the location (Suburban environments, Urban environments The role of home or family in child development Home environment is the psychological climate of the family in the form of interpersonal relations attitudes and aptitudes, which influence one’s reactions to life to changing circumstances throughout life. The home or family viewed as an environment that has a strategic role on child development, as described by Yusuf (2007: 105), as follows: (a) family is the first social group that became the center of the identification of the child, (b) family is the first environment to introduce value-value of life to the neighbourhood children, (c) parents and other family members is \"a significant people \" for the development of the child's personality, (d) family as an institution that facilitate the basic needs of the spiritual (human), both physical-biological, psychological and socio , (e) child spent much of his time in the home or family environment. Family is the first social environment introduced to the child, or it can be said that a child was familiar with social relations first of all in the family environment. The existence of a single family member interaction with other family causes a child to realize about herself that function as individuals and 11

as social beings. As an individual, he must fulfil all their needs in order to survive in this world Meanwhile, as social beings, he adjust to life along the mutual-help and learn the customs prevailing in society. Thus, the development of a child in the family is largely determined by the condition of the family and the experiences that are owned by their parents so that, in the life of society we will find that the child's development with one another will vary. Family environment serves as the foundation stone of the child's personality. Because the seeds of knowledge the children first gets in a family environment Families also provide the basic skills of cognitive functions, social, emotional, religious and norms Overall the family is the beginning of a decisive character and knowledge of children. As in the family, for children is something that is most likely to gain knowledge and experiences that are fundamental for children than other environments, such as social environment, schools and so forth So the wise family environment is considered as prominent for children overall development. George Peter Murdock and Syaripudm, (2006) suggested four family functions that are universal, namely. • As an institution that justifies sex between adult men and women based on marriage. • Developing descent. • Implement the education ® As an economic entity The role of the family (father and mother) as mentioned in these statements have a determine child development process of all its potential use as a means to an end his life. Home environment has a strong influence on the children’s success, as the child has been provided a set of capabilities by the home or family environment in their daily life M I. Soelaiman (Syaripudin, 2006) mentions the role of family for the next child's life, as follows: 12

\"Acquired the experience and treatment of children from their environment as a child - from her family - a kind of outline the pattern of life for the next life. Adler calls these lifestyle Leitlinie words, a kind of line that guides his life, which - consciously or unconsciously - attempted child to achieve it.” Observing from that implicit in these expressions, that the family environment has a very large role to the success of children in the future. Environment outlined the pattern of family life for the next child's life. So the family environment should be created in such a way that can support the growth of children well. Because after the family environment would be arrested children as life's closest and most real to the children in obtaining a variety of experiences. Family environment was one factor that is dominant in determining the child's future. Intellectuals agree that the various conditions of the individuals in every stage of life are due to the effects of environmental factors. In other words, interruption of growth or offspring characteristics in a person, it is strongly influenced by environmental factors (Hujjati, 2003). Further disclosed that: \"... in an effort to create literate generation, at least in the environment began to have a mass awareness in the collective contract isn't written ..\". The definition here is as a form of collective consciousness in order to create a social environment that will contribute to each other in supporting development of children, with another expression of society least civilize ourselves with various activities that can display habits that can support the children develop in accordance with their development tasks. Piaget (Puckett 1996: 16-17) argues that many children through their interaction with the environment can adapt and add to the composition of the brain as the new information Piaget believed that children's thinking develops according to the stages or periods-the period of the growing complex. According to Piaget's stage theory, every individual will go through a series of qualitative changes that are invariant, always stay, no jumping or backward Qualitative change is due to biological pressures to adjust to the environment as well as the organizing structure of thinking. To show the cognitive structure underlying patterns of organized behavior, Piaget uses 13

the term schema and adaptation With both of these components means that cognition is a system that is always organized and adapted, allowing individuals to adapt to its environment. Schema (cognitive structure) is the process or how to organize and respond to various experiences. So the role of parents in this study is very important to create an environment that can provide a wealth of information, experiences (experiences) Because after what he observed the child will be recorded in brain structure, which will be developed qualitatively, the results of various observations of the various symbols Soetjiningsih (1995) points out that Environment is a crucial factor in the achievement of the potential default. A pretty good environment will enable the achievement of potential default. While the unfavourable environment will discourage it. This environment is an environment \"bio-psycho-social\" that affects individuals every day, from conception until the end. However the family environment is the beginning of the life of the child, because child quantitatively and qualitatively has spent much of his time in a family environment. Surely the education process started since when people were born on earth So the family role is very important to provide education on child treatment for all its potential to develop properly. When parents or family are unable to provide good experiences in the lives of children, then most likely potential of children do not develop properly Psychosocial Competence of Adolescents and Home environmcut According to G. Stanley Hall (1904), Adolescence is a marvelous new birth, for the higher and more completely human traits are now born. Adolescence is a period of marked change in the person’s cognitive, physical, psychological, and -social development and in the individual’s relations with the people and institutions of the social world. 14

Young adolescence is a period of change more rapid than at any other time in human development other than infancy. For the adolescent, this period is a dramatic challenge, one requiring adjustment to changes in the self, in the family, and in the peer group and also in the institutions. Among the various social groups, home occupies the first and most important place for the development of the individual Home is the person’s primary environment from the time he is born until the day he dies, hence its effect on the individual is also most significant and enduring. Home environment is the most important institution for the existence and continuance of human life and the development of various personality traits. An ideal home environment is one where there is proper reward to strengthen the desired behaviour, a keen interest in and love for the child, provision of opportunities to express its views freely, where parents put less restrictions to discipline the child, not preventing the child from acting independently and not continuing infantile care, optimum use of physical and affective punishment, where the children are not compelled to act according to parental desires and expectations, where they are neither threatened of being isolated from beloved persons nor deprived o f love, respect and childcare Emotional Maturity In the present circumstances, children and youth are facing difficulties in life. These difficulties are giving rise to many psychosomatic problems such as anxiety, tensions, and frustrations and emotional upsets in day-to-day life. So, the study o f emotional maturity is now emerging as a descriptive science, comparable with anatomy. Emotions dominate our lives. They add colour and variety to our lives, which otherwise would be dull. They are the basic stuff out o f which all motivation arises. Emotions not only impel us to action but often serve as goals of action also; seeking pleasant ends and avoiding unpleasant ends seem to arise from emotions. It is said 'that man is a speck of reason floating on a sea o f emotion’. Success in life’s 15

endeavours does not depend on one’s intelligence alone. One’s emotional maturity also plays a significant part in determining whether one’s ventures are successful or not. The concept “Mature” emotional behaviour of any level is that which reflects the fruits of normal emotional development. A person who is able to keep his emotions under control, who is able to break delay and to suffer without self-pity, might still be emotionally stunned and childish. According to Smitson, WD. (1974) emotional maturity is a process in which the personality is continuously striving for greater sense of emotional health, both intra-physicaliy and intra-personally According to Dictionary of Psychology, emotional maturity is a state or condition of having reached an adult level of emotional development and therefore no longer displaying emotional patterns appropriate to children. According to The Penguin Dictionary of Psychology, emotional maturity is the state in which one’s emotional reactivity is considered appropriate and normal for an adult in a given society. The clear connotation in most cultures is one of self-control and the ability to suppress extreme emotional reactions. Emotional maturity, then, is not a state in which all problems are solved but, instead, is a continual process of clarification and evaluation, an attempt to integrate feelings, thinking and behaviour. Emotions One of the dimensions of personal experience is the emotional or affective dimension. Emotional process is not an isolated phenomenon but component of general experience, constantly influencing and influenced by other processes going on at the same time. Also emotion is a basic aspect of human functioning. Emotions are personal experiences that arise from a complex interplay among physiological, cognitive, and situational variables. According to International Encyclopaedia of Psychology, (1997) “An emotion is a valence experience that is felt with some degree of intensity, involves a 16

person’s interpretation of the immediate situation, and is accompanied by learned and unlearned physical responses” Psychologist Robert Plutchik (1955) contends that there are eight innate, primary emotions: joy, anticipation, anger, disgust, sadness, surprise, fear and acceptance. Like the colours of a colour wheel, primary emotions can combine to produce secondary emotions. For example, surprise plus sadness can produce disappointment; anger plus disgust can produce contempt; and fear plus surprise can produce awe Since each primary emotion can vary in intensity, and each level of intensity for one emotion can combine with some other intensity of another emotion, the total number of possible emotions can run to hundreds. Characteristics o fEmotions Emotions are transitory states, and they have five characteristics. 1. Emotions are experiences, not specific behaviours or thoughts Although thoughts can sometimes lead to emotions, and behaviour can sometimes be caused by emotions, an emotion is a personal experience. 2. An emotional experience has “valence”, meaning that the emotion has a positive or negative quality. Because emotions have valence, they often motivate people towards action. People tend to seek activities, situations, and people that enhance their experience of positive emotional states, and they tend to avoid situations that are connected with the experience of negative emotions. 3. Emotions involve cognitive appraisals That is, one’s interpretation of the immediate situation influences which emotion is experienced. For example, a child may experience either joy or fear when being chased, depending on whether the child interprets the chase as playful or dangerous. 4 Emotions involve physical responses may be internal, such as changes in heart rate, blood pressure, or respiration; physical responses can also be external, such as facial expressions. 17

5. Emotions can vary in intensity, Anger can become rage, amusement can become joy, and fear can be heightened to a state of terror. Each of us develops inconsistent emotional pattern, we don’t remain the same today, tomorrow and forever. Emotional competence is greatly dependent on an accurate time of reference and on overall maturity. Maturity The concept of maturity has not received a great deal of explicit attention in the literature. Delineation of libidinal development has been yielded the important formulation of the “Genital level” and “object-interest (Freud, 1924)”. Recent emphasis on the conflict between the regressive, dependents, versus the progressive, productive forces in the personality have directed interest towards the more detailed nature o f maturity. Nature o fMaturity 1 One of the most obvious pathways of development, long emphasized by Sigmund Freud and Franz Alexander, is form the parasitic dependence o f the foetus to the relative independence o f parent, with parental capacity for responsibility for spouse and child. 2. Intimately bound-up with the organism’s development from parasitism on the mother to relative independence from the parents is its increased capacity for responsibility and productivity and its decreased receptive needs. Children learn to control their hostilities, their sexuality and other impulses, and to develop the orientations of maturity largely through the incentive of being loved. 3 Third characteristics of maturity are relative freedom from well-known constellation o f inferiority, egotism and competitiveness. 4. Another aspect of maturity consists in the conditioning and the training necessary for socialization and domestication. 18

5. Hostile aggressiveness, using the term to include all sorts o f anger, hate, cruelty and belligerency, is always a sign of emotional irritation or threat. 6. Another important attribute o f maturity is a firm sense of reality. 7. Another characteristic of maturity is flexibility and adaptability Characteristics an Emotionally Matured Person Kaplan and Baron (1986) elaborate the characteristics of an emotionally mature person; say that he has the capacity to withstand delay in satisfaction o f needs. He has belief in long term planning and is capable of delaying or revising his expectations in terms of demands o f situations An emotionally mature child has the capacity to make effective adjustment with himself, members of his family, his peers in the school, society and culture. But maturity means not merely the capacity for such attitude and functioning but also the ability to enjoy them fully. According to Bernard (1954) following are the criteria of mature emotional behaviour: 1. Inhabitation of direct expression of negative emotions. 2. Cultivation of positive, upholding emotions. 3 Development of higher tolerance for disagreeable circumstances. 4. Increasing satisfaction from socially approved responses. 5. Increasing dependence of actions. 6. Ability to make a choice and not brood about other choices. 7. Freedom from unreasonable fear. 8. Understanding and action in accordance with limitations. 9. Awareness of the ability and achievement of others. 10. Ability to err without feeling disgraced 11 .Ability to carry victory and prestige with grace 12 Ability to bounce back from disappointing experiences 19

13. Ability to delay the gratification of impulses. 14. The enjoyment o f daily living. A person can be called emotionally mature if he is able to display his emotions in appropriate degree with reasonable control. Almost all the emotions can be distinctly seen in him and the pattern of expression is easily recognised He will express his emotions in a socially desirable way. He is able to exercise control over his emotions i.e. sudden inappropriate emotional outbursts are rarely found in him He is able to hide his feelings and check his emotional tide. He is not a daydreamer and does not possess the desire to run away from realities. He is more guided by intellect than his emotions. He does not possess the habit of rationalization i.e. he never gives arguments in defence of his undesirable behaviour or improper conduct. He possesses an adequate self-concept and self-respect. He is not confined to himself. He thinks for others and is keen to maintain social relationship. His behaviour is characterised by greater stability. He shows no sudden shift from one emotion to another. Emotionally disturbed behaviour can be described in the following: He reacts like a child, he looks for sympathy, conceited, quarrelsome, infantile, self-centred and demanding person, has preservative emotions, is emotionally excitable and feel very much upset to loose a game (Gibb, 1942, Brogden, 1944, and Cattell, 1945). Therefore, the emotionally mature is not one who necessarily has resolved all conditions that aroused anxiety and hostility but it is continuously in process of seeing him self in clearer perspective, continually involved in a struggle to gain healthy integration o f feeling, thinking and action. Development o f emotional maturity Emotional maturity is always relative. A five-year- old child has emotional maturity if he is capable of the emotional behaviour we judge fit for a five year old Emotional maturity however, develops 20

throughout life. It is also a form of maturity from which one can regress most quickly. The child becomes more emotionally mature as the parent permits him to accept responsibilities and became independent and self-sufficient. Jersild (1982) presents one of the most comprehensive lists of the stages involved in the child’s moving towards maturity in the emotional area • A change from being a creature who at first receives much, gives little, to one, who is capable of giving as well as o f receiving, and capable of learning to get enjoyment from giving • Development of capacity to identity with a larger social group, and the ability to participate emotionally in the fortunes of the larger group. • Development from the status of being the child o f family to the status ultimately, o f being able to have children o f one’s own and along with this development a capacity to exercise the feeling and attitudes involved in being a parent psychologically, whether or not one is a parent biologically • Progressive sexual development and the capacity after puberty to enjoy mature sexual experiences. • An increased capacity for bearing the inevitable sufferings and pains connected with life and growth without feeling abused. • An increased capacity for sympathy and compassion as one assimilates the meaning for self and others of the joys and vicissitudes of life . Education in Developing Emotional Maturity Education plays a vital role in changing one’s behaviour. High School education plays a crucial part in determining one’s emotional maturity. This period is associated with adolescents and their social problems which are the results of misinterpretation o f one’s sentiments, feelings and emotions. Emotions play a significant role in directing and 21

shaping maturity and adjustment. The maturity of the individual has a marked impact on the behaviour of individuals One outcome of healthy emotional development is increasing “emotional maturity”. Emotional maturity is regarded as relative, not final or absolute. Two, four or six year olds are “emotionally mature” if they show capacity for emotional behaviour that is true to their level of development even though all the three groups are quite immature when compared with the eighteen or twenty year olds. The process of maturity emotionally is never complete, for a person in fairly good health mentally continues to grow more “mature” in his attitude towards life and towards himself as long as he lives. Thus the major aim of a good educational programme is to help learners to gain adequate emotional maturity. Emotional Intelligence and Emotional Maturity The emotional aspect of person has received a great deal of attention over the past few decades. As traditional methods (i.e., IQ and traditional views of intelligence) of gauging potential for success were found to be inadequate, researchers began studying emotional intelligence. “Emotional intelligence is the ability to perceive emotions; to access and generate emotions so as to assist thought, to understand emotions and emotional knowledge, and to reflectively regulate emotions so as to promote emotional and intellectual growth” (emotional what?). Qualities of Emotional intelligence include: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills (Goleman 1998). Goleman’s research indicates that in the hierarchy of skills and abilities, traditional views of intelligence constitute a stepping stone, upon which one must build with emotional intelligence in order to be truly successful. Studies have shown that individuals with high levels of Emotional intelligence were more effective in performing their tasks “For 515 senior executives analyzed by the search firm Egon Zehnder International, those who were primarily strong in emotional intelligence were more likely to succeed than those who were strongest in either relevant previous experience or IQ. In other words, emotional intelligence was a better predictor of success than either relevant 22

previous experience or high IQ. . . .The study included executives in Latin America, Germany, and Japan, and the results were almost identical in all three cultures” (Cherniss and Goleman 1998). In reference of emotional maturity, theorists have expressed interest in Emotional maturity and have sought to define it; however, these definitions are insufficient and simply define components of Emotional intelligence. According to Hyatt, Hyatt, and Hyatt (2007), Emotional intelligence is like water behind a dam, having potential energy. Emotional intelligence is knowledge and understanding which has little or no value until it is properly released and utilized, whereas Emotional maturity is the willingness and ability to utilize and apply the knowledge and understanding in an appropriate and productive way. One’s emotional facets include the knowledge, ability, and the desire. Emotional intelligence constitutes the knowledge, while Emotional maturity constitutes the ability and desire or willingness to act upon one’s knowledge. The definition of Emotional maturity, according to Hyatt, Hyatt, and Hyatt is, “The understanding and acceptance of all of one’s normal feelings and emotions and the appropriate response to those emotions in all circumstances. The understanding of one’s own paradigm and the awareness that this may not be totally accurate or complete The willingness to expand and enlarge one’s paradigm with the acquisition of new information while recognizing and accepting differences in others as assets to be valued.” Emotional maturity is perhaps the most important attribute which an individual can possess to ensure success. One’s behavioral response to any situation is a product of one’s mental script. Our mental script, whether at a conscious or subconscious level is the way we view ourselves, others, our relationship to others and our environment, and all that is around us. This script has been developed over our life as life experiences have played out from birth. Just as a blank tape accepts the information that is available and records that information, our mind accepts and records information from our environment, according to our perception, and over the years this develops into our mental script which becomes responsible for our behavior The goal of developing Emotional maturity is to 23

re-write the mental script in a vyay which will produce positive, productive behaviours. Parent- child relationship Every parent is different in his or her own way. Each one has one of three different parenting styles. These are authoritarian, authoritative, and permissive styles. One's parenting style is usually a result of their own upbringing, their role models, or simply from the society in which they live. (Edwards, Rebecca) Parent- child relationship is one of the most sensitive and emotional relationship in the world. Children love their parents and so it is with the parents, but with the changing trend and generation gap much has changed in terms of parenting styles and in turn the behavior of children. Most of the South Asian countries like India and Pakistan follow an authoritative parenting style, which as a result creates differences in the parent-child relation. This is found to be more common during the teenage years. The relationship between parents and children is a precious bond that requires great care and demands proper understanding between the two. A gentle consideration and effective communication from the parents can go a long way in securing effective child-parent relationship. There is no one precise way to parent Every parent child relationship is unique. Almost without exception, parents want their children to thrive and blossom and believe they have an irreplaceable role in that process. But parents also come to realize that the desire alone is not enough. Children may become discouraged, rebellious, irresponsible, depressed, uncooperative, anxious, or fearful Children are all born with a particular temperament. Also, most experts in child development agree that some traits are largely inherited. Just as clearly, environment (physical, emotional, social) has an enormous impact on children's development and happiness, and the environment, unlike genes can be influenced by the family Debating whether any given behaviour is the result of inheritance (nature) or experiences after birth (nurture) may be a legitimate task for our 24

society, but determining the relative contributions of nature or nurture to an actual child's actual behaviour is impossible. There are, however, some universal parenting practices that foster confidence, responsibility and cooperation in children. And there are some practices that do the opposite. Parenting style A parenting style is a psychological construct representing standard strategies that parents use in their child rearing. There are many differing theories and opinions on the best ways to rear children, as well as differing levels of time and effort that parents are willing to invest. Parental investment starts soon after birth. This includes the process of birth, breast­ feeding, affirming the value o f the baby’s cry as the parent. Many parents create their own style from a combination of factors, and these may evolve over time as the children develop their own personalities and move through life's stages. Parenting style is affected by both the parents' and children's temperaments, and is largely based on the influence o f one’s own parents and culture. \"Most parents learn parenting practices from their own parents — some they accept, some they discard.\"[1] The degree to which a child’s education is part of parenting is a further matter of debate. Theories of parenting style (child rearing) One of the best known theories of parenting style was developed by Diana Baumrind. She proposed that parents fall into one of three categories: authoritarian (telling their children exactly what to do), indulgent (allowing their children to do whatever they wish), or authoritative (providing rules and guidance without being overbearing). The theory was later extended to include negligent parents (disregarding the children, and focusing on other interests). A number of ethical parenting styles have been proposed, some based on the authoritarian model o f strict obedience to scriptural law (for example in the Bible), others based on empathy with the emotional state of a child. 25

Beginning in the 17th century, two philosophers independently wrote works that have been widely influential m child rearing. John Locke's 1693 book Some Thoughts Concerning Education is a well known foundation for educational pedagogy from a Puritan standpoint. Locke highlights the importance of experiences to a child's development, and recommends developing their physical habits first. In 1762, the French philosopher Jean- Jacques Rousseau published a volume on education, Emile: or, On Education. He proposed that early education should be derived less from books and more from a child's interactions with the world. Of these, Rousseau is more consistent with slow parenting, and Locke is more for concerted cultivation. Other theorists, mainly from the twentieth century, have focused on how children develop and how parents rear their children. Jean Piaget's theory of cognitive development describes how children represent and reason about the world. This is a developmental stage theory that consists of a Sensorimotor stage, Preoperational stage, Concrete operational stage, and Formal operational stage. Piaget was a pioneer m the field of child development and continues to influence parents, educators and other theorists. Erik Erikson, a developmental psychologist, proposed eight life stages through which each person must develop. In each stage, they must understand and balance two conflicting forces, and so parents might choose a series of parenting styles that helps each child as appropriate at each stage The first five of his eight stages occur in childhood: The virtue of hope requires balancing trust with mistrust, and typically occurs from birth to one year old. Will balances autonomy with shame and doubt around the ages of two to three. Purpose balances initiative with guilt around the ages of four to six years. Competence balances industry against inferiority around ages seven to 12. Fidelity contrasts identity with role confusion, in ages 13 to 19. The remaining adult virtues are love, care and wisdom. Rudolf Dreikurs believed that pre-adolescent children's misbehaviour was caused by their unfulfilled wish to be a member of a social group. He argued 26

that they then act out a sequence of four mistaken goals, first they seek attention. If they do not get it, they aim fo r power, then revenge and finally feel inadequate. This theory is used in education as well as parenting, forming a valuable theory upon which to manage misbehaviour. Other parenting techniques should also be used to encourage learning and happiness. Frank Furedi is a sociologist with a particular interest in parenting and families. He believes that the actions of parents are less decisive than others claim He describes the term infant determinism, as the determination o f a person's life prospects by what happens to them during infancy, arguing that there is little or no evidence for its truth. While other commercial, governmental and other interests constantly try to guide parents to do more and worry more for their children, he believes that children are capable of developing well in almost any circumstances. Furedi quotes Steve Petersen of Washington University: \"development really wants to happen. It takes very impoverished environments to interfere with developm ent... Oust] don't raise your child in a closet, starve them, or hit them on the head with a frying pan.\" Similarly, the journalist Tim Gill has expressed concern about excessive risk aversion by parents and those responsible for children in his book ‘No Fear.’ This aversion limits the opportunities for children to develop sufficient adult skills, particularly in dealing with risk, but also in performing adventurous and imaginative activities In 1998, independent scholar Judith Rich Harris published ‘The Nurture Assumption,’ in which she argued that scientific evidence especially behavioral genetics showed that all different forms of parenting do not have significant effects on children's development, short of cases o f severe abuse or neglect. The purported effects of different forms of parenting are all illusions caused by heredity, the culture at large, and children's own influence on how their parents treat them. Baumrind's general parenting styles Diana Baumrind (1973) became particularly interested in the connection between the parental behavior and the development of 27

instrumental competence, which refers to the ability to manipulate the environment to achieve ones goals. In her research, found what she considered to be the four basic elements that could help shape successful parenting, responsiveness vs. unresponsiveness and demanding vs undemanding. From these, she identified three general parenting styles- authoritative, authoritarian, and permissive Maccoby and Martin expanded the styles to four, authoritative, authoritarian, indulgent and neglectful. These four styles of parenting involve combinations of acceptance and responsiveness on the one hand and demand and control on the other. Table 1.1 Maccoby and Martin's Four Parenting Styles Baumrind's Three Parenting Styles (in italics) Demanding Undemanding Responsive Authoritative/Propagatwe Indulgent/Freerang er (Permissive) Unresponsive A uthoritarianjTotalitarian Neglectful Baumrind believed that parents should be neither punitive nor aloof. Rather, they should develop rules for their children-and be affectionate with them. These parenting styles are meant to describe normal variations in parenting, not deviant parenting, such as might be observed in abusive homes. Most parents do not fall neatly in one category, but fall somewhere in the middle, showing characteristics of more than one style. Authoritative parenting The parent is demanding and responsive. Authoritative parenting, also called 'assertive democratic' or 'balanced' parenting, is characterized by a child-centered approach that holds high expectations of maturity. Authoritative parents can understand how their children are feeling 28

and teach them how to regulate feelings. They often help their children to find appropriate outlets to solve problems Authoritative parents encourages children to be independent but still places controls and limits on their actions. Extensive verbal give-and-take is not refused, and parents try to be warm and nurturant toward the child Authoritative parents are not usually as controlling as authoritarian parents, allowing the child to explore more freely, thus having them make their own decisions based upon their own reasoning. Often, authoritative parents produce children who are more independent and self-reliant. Authoritative parents will set clear standards for their children, monitor the limits that they set, and also allow children to develop autonomy. They also expect mature, independent, and age-appropriate behavior of children. Punishments for misbehavior are measured and consistent in discipline, not arbitrary or violent. Authoritative parents set limits and demand maturity, but when punishing a child, the parent will explain his or her motive for their punishment. They are attentive to their children’s needs and concerns, and will typically forgive and teach instead o f punishing if a child falls short. This is supposed to result in children having a higher self esteem and independence because of the give-take nature of the authoritative parenting style. This is the most recommended style of parenting by child-rearing experts. Authoritarian parenting The parent is demanding but not responsive Authoritarian parenting, also called strict parenting, is characterized by high expectations of conformity and compliance to parental rules and directions, while allowing little open dialogue between parent and child. Authoritarian parenting is a restrictive, punitive parenting style in which parents make their children to follow their directions and to respect their work and effort. Authoritarian parents expect much o f their child but generally do not explain the reasoning for the rules or boundaries. Authoritarian parents are less responsive to their children’s needs, and are more likely to spank a child rather than discuss the problem 29

Children resulting from this type of parenting may have less social competence because the parent generally tells the child what to do instead of allowing the child to choose by him or herself.[20] Nonetheless, researchers have found that in some cultures and ethnic groups, aspects of authoritarian style may be associated with more positive child outcomes than Baumrind expects, \"Aspects of traditional Asian child-rearing practices are often continued by Asian American families. In some cases, these practices have been described as authoritarian.\" If the demands are pushed too forcefully upon the child, the child will break down, rebel, or run away. Indulgent parenting The parent is responsive but not demanding. Indulgent parenting, also called permissive, nondirective or lenient, is characterized as having few behavioral expectations for the child. \"Indulgent parenting is a style of parenting in which parents are very involved with their children but place few demands or controls on them.\" Parents are nurturing and accepting, and are very responsive to the child's needs and wishes. Indulgent parents do not require children to regulate themselves or behave appropriately. This may result in creating spoiled brats or \"spoiled sweet\" children depending on the behavior of the children. Children of permissive parents may tend to be more impulsive, and as adolescents, may engage more in misconduct, and in drug use. \"Children never learn to control their own behavior and always expect to get their way.\" But in the better cases they are emotionally secure, independent and are willing to learn and accept defeat. They mature quickly and are able to live life without the help of someone else. But as previously noted, the usefulness of these data are limited, as they are only correlational and can not rule out effects such as personality correlations (people with the personality that makes them become permissive parents, despite recommendations not to be, may also have the personality to encourage heavy drinking in some other way), heredity (permissive parents and their children share the personality to be hands-off 30

and are likely to be less driven as their authoritarian counterparts), child-to- parent effects (unfocused and unmanageable children might discourage their parents from trying too hard), and local shared cultural values (that may not emphasize achievement). Neglectful parenting The parent is neither demanding nor responsive. Neglectful parenting is also called uninvolved, detached, dismissive or hands-off. The parents are low in warmth and control, are generally not involved in their child’s life, are disengaged, undemanding, low in responsiveness, and do not set limits. Neglectful parenting can also mean dismissing the children's emotions and opinions. Parents are emotionally unsupportive of their children, but will still provide their basic needs. Provide basic needs meaning' food, housing, and toiletries or money for the pre-mentioned. Children whose parents are neglectful develop the sense that other aspects of the parents’ lives are more important than they are. Many children of this parenting style often attempt to provide for themselves or halt depending on the parent to get a feeling of being independent and mature beyond their years [1] Parents, and thus their children, often display contradictory behavior. Children become emotionally withdrawn from social situations. This disturbed attachment also impacts relationships later on in life In adolescence, they may show patterns of truancy and delinquency. Other parenting styles With authoritarian and permissive (indulgent) parenting on opposite sides of the spectrum most conventional and modern models of parenting fall somewhere in between. The model or style that parents employ depends partly on how they themselves were reared, what they consider good parenting, the child’s temperament, their current environmental situation, and whether they place more importance on their own needs or whether they are striving to further their child's future success Parents who place greater importance on the child's physical security may be more authoritarian, while parents who are more concerned with 31

intellectual development may push their children into a number of organized extra-curricular activities such as music and language lessons. One of the biggest effects on parenting is socio-economic status, in reference with ethnicity and culture as well. For example, living in a dangerous neighborhood could make a parent more authoritarian due to fear of their environment. Parents who are more highly educated tend to have better jobs and better financial security, and this reduction of potential stressors has a significant effect on parenting. • Attachment parenting - Seeks to create strong emotional bonds, avoiding physical punishment and accomplishing discipline through interactions recognizing a child's emotional needs all while focusing on holistic understanding of the child. • Christian parenting - The application of biblical principles on parenting, mainly in the United States. While some Christian parents follow a stricter and more authoritarian interpretation of the Bible, others are \"grace-based\" and share methods advocated in the attachment parenting and positive parenting theories. Particularly influential on opposite sides have been James Dobson and his book Dare to Discipline, and William Sears who has written several parenting books including The Complete Book of Christian Parenting & Child Care and The Discipline Book. • Concerted cultivation - A style of parenting that is marked by the parents' attempts to foster their child's talents through organized leisure activities. This parenting style is commonly exhibited in middle and upper class American families. • Emotion coaching - This style of parenting lays out a loving, nurturing path for raising happy, well-adjusted, well-behaved children. It’s called emotion coaching and it feels good to parents and kids alike. Emotion coaching helps teach your child how to recognize and express the way he is feeling in an appropriate way. • Nurturant parenting - A family model where children are expected to explore their surroundings with protection from their parents. 32

• Overparenting - Parents who try to involve themselves in every aspect of their child's life, often attempting to solve all their problems. A helicopter parent is a colloquial, early 21st-century term for a parent who pays extremely close attention to his or her children's experiences and problems, and attempts to sweep all obstacles out of their paths, particularly at educational institutions. Helicopter parents are so named because, like helicopters, they hover closely overhead. It is a form of overparenting. • Parenting For Everyone - A parenting book and one individual's philosophy that discusses parenting from an ethical point of view • Punishment based- Punishment based parenting uses pain, punishment, intimidation, yelling, degradation, humiliation, shame, guilt, or other things that can hurt a child's self esteem or hurt them physically Their emotional growth and well being are affected greatly. Punishment based discipline hurts the relationship between parent and child. Punishment will put unnecessary pressure on the child and the child is less apt to perform due to pressure. • Slow parenting - Encourage parents to plan and organise less for their children, instead allowing them to enjoy their childhood and explore the world at their own pace • Strict parenting - An authoritarian approach, places a strong value on discipline and following inflexible rules as a means to survive and thrive in a harsh world. • Taking Children Seriously - The central idea of this movement is that it is possible and desirable to raise and educate children without doing anything to them against their will, or making them do anything against their will. 33

Parent-Child Relationship and Emotional Maturity Today’s youth, unlike generations before them are presented with arduous challenges in life, such as, the fam ily fabric loosening; the parent-child relationships increasingly and seemingly impinged due to work demands o f the parents; lesser and lesser time spent with family, and subcultures and peer groups influence. A t the same time, parents of adolescents usually are working on their own midlife marital and career issues while they are trying to understand and meet the adolescent needs. Quite naturally, different kinds of parenting practices impact the development differently on the adolescents. Again, differences in family patterns and constituents between one and another family comes to be viewed as a major source o f variation from individual to individual in the aspects of personality and psycho-socfal development of adolescents. Recognizing that many of today’s young people spend a lot of time growing up with their family, it is important to review carefully what a healthy family life does for an adolescent (George, 1995). Parents and other significant members in the family have major role in contributing to healthy development of an adolescent. It is necessary for the parents to provide best possible environment at home, so as to create a conducive, fostering and supportive experiences for smooth transition from adolescence into adulthood (Vyas, 2008). O f many different relationships an adolescent may form over the course of their developmental span, the relationship between parent and child is among most important. More emphatically, parent child relationship is a great source o f reference to determining the personality and psychosocial development of children, especially so when it comes to dealing with adolescents. Parent child relationships are subsumed by various factors such as gender stereotypes, socio-cultural contexts and parents own childhood experiences The nuances of reward and punishment; nature of discipline, amount of permissiveness, bonding and interaction in a parent child relationship have been stressed upon the healthy development of the child (Rao, 1989). Also, these patterns do not remain constant and in fact they continuously evolve and change to suit the individual needs of the 34

growing child. For to say, a young child may need a relationship with their parents to attend, discipline and participate, whereas, adolescents responsiveness are much better with parents who practice listening, sharing and encouraging personal space. Moreover, knowing to what extent the parents encourage social competencies of their adolescent children will be more salient to understanding and describing positive development. On the other hand, Emotional Maturity is a single effective determinant to shaping the personality, attitudes and behaviour of the adolescents into accepting responsibility, making decisions, teaming with groups, developing healthy relationships and enhancing self worth. Emotional stability is one of the seven important indicators of mental health. Of all species, human brains take the longest time to fully mature. While each area of the brain develops at a different rate during childhood, the onset of puberty marks one of the most sweeping periods of pruning throughout the brain. Several brain areas critical for emotional life is among the slowest to mature. While the sensory areas mature during early childhood, and the limbic system by puberty, the frontal lobes-seat of emotional self- control, understanding, and artful response continue to develop into late adolescence, until somewhere between sixteen and eighteen years of age (Goleman, 1995). While adolescence is the time of growth, change and opportunity, transitioning into adulthood can bring moments of insecurity, helplessness, frustration, uselessness and isolation (Linda, 2009). Early adolescence marks an important turning point in the parent child relationship, due to increased sense of identity in adolescent stage; it is usual and inevitable to develop parent-adolescent conflicts. The relationship an adolescent has with his parent is most important to determining his ability to mature emotionally. The influence of parent has long lasting effects on the psychological and social maturation of the adolescents. Empirical researches have strongly substantiated the implications of parental antecedent variables as of invaluable contributions to the emotional maturity of their adolescents. As the young adult strives to establish a sense of emotional autonomy, they may challenge parents’ authority. 35

Young adults should learn to deal with their expanding social universe and necessarily attain certain degree of emotional maturity to ward off deviances, as this period is also characterized by increased involvement of health risk behaviours (Jossey Bass, 2009). Over recent decades, there have been dramatic changes in the employment patterns of men and women, categorically patterns of parental employment can be understood to impact the outcomes of the young adults. The effect of household income, socio economic circumstances, the provision of a role model and parent-child relationships and interactions intercept the maturation of emotional self of young adults (Linda, 2009). It is an essential task of parents and the surrounding adults, to provide them with love, support, self confidence to grow fully into their lives, thereby bringing them to maturity with their emotional centers intact and accessible (Glennon, 2000). Morler (2002) said while emotional intelligence can be learned, emotional maturity is a choice Beyond adolescence, an individual has to choose maturity and to enable this choice, they need supportive adults The study of emotional life of adolescents is gaining more attention in the recent times, and is emerging as a scientific branch of study. 36