COVER
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MET • a unit of measure used when resting •
CENTE SPRI
RFOLD ING
TO SPRI
OC ING
SA LIKOD NG BISTIDA NI INAY AXL ROSE PRESAS art by JG GODOY Kulay pulang bakas nang matapos ang pagpupumiglas Mantsang hindi mawawala hanggang wakas Dignidad na ipinagkait, mukhang puno ng pintas Nagbunga ba ng biyaya o ituturing na bangas? Ako ay lumaki, isang batang bunga ng isang kasalanan Mula sa isang taong nasa rurok noon ng kahalayan Kahit ako ay nagsisisi at nabuhay pa sa mundong may kamalayan Buhay ko’y itinuring na tunay na kamalasan. Sa eskwela ay inuulan ako ng mga tukso Kesyo masama raw na tao ang tatay ko Hindi ko naman gusto na maging ganito, Isang anak ng kriminal kagaya nang sinasabi ninyo. Pero napaka-swerte ko at siya ang aking naging ina Ni minsan, hindi n’ya ipinaramdam na ako ay iba Hindi galit ang namutawi sa puso niya Tunay na pagmamahal, sa kabila ng traumang ibinigay sa kaniya Sa tuwing kaming dalawa ay kinukutya Tumutungo na lamang ako sa likuran ng kaniyang bistida Tanda ng proteksiyon na sa akin ay pinaramdam niya Sabay sambit ng katagang, “Anak, mahal kita” Hindi matatawaran ang kaniyang pagiging nanay Dama ko ang pag-aarugang sa akin ay inialay Hindi raw kamalasan ang dulot ko sa aming buhay Lalo pa raw niya akong minahal, patuloy na iaakay
CROSSROADS JM OLAN art by JG GODOY
It always starts with being a stranger; Getting to know each other. Knowing it could be better; For us to be friends forever. But there is a rule; Making me look like a fool. Thinking it would be alright; Although it leads me to fright. Playing with this unsure feeling; All these aches I have been hiding. My thoughts are racing; Afraid that my heart will start breaking. Still, seeing you with satisfaction; Even if we do not have connection; Showing all the affection; In a different direction. So, I am at a crossroad.
FORDA WORKING STUDENTS AHMED JOSHUA CHIO ART BY JM OLAN Bawat estudyante ay may kargang sari-sariling problema Samahan pa ng samu’t saring pagsubok sa pamilya Lalo na kapag ika’y nasa Kolehiyo na Hindi mo alam kung lalaban ka pa ba, o susuko na. Kaya madaming estudyante ang pinapasok agad ang pagtatrabaho Kahit na napakahirap na isabay ito sa pagkatuto Basta ang nasa isip ay kung paano makararaos Sa buhay na punong-puno ng pagtutuos Sa bukang liwayway, nakikipag-sapalaran sa loob ng paaralan Pagdating ng takip-silim, makikitang nagbabanat na ng buto Mapagod man, ay ayos lang, dahil ito’y para sa kinabukasan Subalit hindi maipagkakaila, na umiiyak na sa pagod ang isip at puso Dulot na rin ng kahirapan at sa kawalan nang umaalalay Kaya napipilitan na pasukin agad ang paghahanap buhay Subalit, hindi magtatagal ay makakamtan din ang tagumpay Makikita sa tuktok, ang masaganang buhay na kumakaway Magbubunga ang lahat ng pagsusumikap alang-alang sa pangarap Isang ensayo na rin ito, sa matinding pagsubok pa sa hinaharap Padayon, at ang Panginoon ang s’yang mag-aayon nang nararapat na gantimpala, na ibibigay n’ya sa takdang panahon.
ALAALANG HINDI KUMUKUPAS AHMED JOSHUA CHIO art by JM OLAN Ang mawalan ng mahal sa buhay ay talagang nakalulumbay Tila ba nawalan tayo ng isang pahina sa ating mga puso Sa ating mga isip, pangalan nila ang laging nananalaytay At ang pagmamahal sa kanila ay hindi kailanman magbabago Kapag naiisip ang kanilang pagkawala, hindi maiwasan ang pagtangis Ang tibok ng ating mga puso ay tila ba bumibilis Dahil sa bugso ng emosyon na ating nararamdaman Subalit, kailangan nating magpakatatag at lumaban Aminin natin na hindi natin kayang tanggapin ang kanilang pagkawala Matatanong natin ang Panginoon, kung bakit siya pa Pero mapapaisip tayo na may plano ang Panginoon kung bakit kinuha siya nang maaga Marahil, para mas maging matibay tayo ayon sa kagustuhan niya Ngunit sa paglaon ng panahon, unti-unti na nating matatanggap Ang kanilang paglisan sa mundong ito ay hindi nagpapakita ng katapusan Sa halip, ito ay bagong simula para sa ating hinaharap Alalahanin natin sila sa paraan nang pagdarasal, ang kanilang parte sa ating buhay ay hindi mawawaglit kailanman.
ANG PILAY AT ANG TUNGKOD CHESKA MARIE PEREZ art by JG GODOY Yakap ko ang dilim na siyang nagsisilbing tahanan Tanging ang lampara ng alitaptap ang minamasdan Marikit ang sulok na aking tambayan Habang nagninilay papunta sa’yo mula pa nakaraan Sa unang hakbang, Dumampi ang palad sa malumanay na tungkod; hinawakan dahan- dahan At sa unang pag unat ay may tiwala, ako’y iyong inalalayan, hinagkan; Kasamang nilisan ang sulok ng nakaririnding kapayapaan Masakit pa rin at nalulugmok sa ikalawang hakbang, Pinasadahan yaring matibay na pagbabaybay, at pilit na isinampay, ang malinis na kamay, mula sa maruming yugto ng nakaraan Pilit kong itutuon ang aking atensyon sa ika- tatlong pagkakataon Ramdam ko ang mahinahon, na pagbugso ng tangkay na dating matibay Habang ang tungkod at pilay , ay sabay na nag aalay; ng lakas ng loob upang magpatuloy, libutin ang apat ng sulok ng tinagping bahay Minsan na ring bumigkis sa isipan ang sitwasyon, Na sa pagkalumpo lamang hahantong lahat ng pagdadahan- dahan at pasensiyahan Hindi nagpatinag, pinagtibay maging sa sitwasyon; Na hindi maitutuwid ng tungkod ang lahat, Kung walang pag- alalay na aampon
Kasama Mo Ako APRIL JOY BALITA PHOTO BY RWEN CALIXTERIO Wag mo nang itanggi Ikaw ay may pinagdadaanan Wag mong isantabi Ang ‘yong nararamdaman. Hindi mo kailangang itago Ang nagdurugo mong puso Ikaw ay may kakampi Narito ako sayong tabi Kung sa tingin mo’y pinabayaan ka ng mundo Isipin mo lamang ako Handang makinig sayo Hindi ka nag iisa P’wede akong sandalan Lagi mong tandaan Narito ako sayong tabi, kaibigan
“Tara! Work po tayo opo, work po tayo” AXL ROSE PRESAS ART BY JM OLAN Sa mataas na tono at pagpito ng takure sa kalan at nagniningas na apoy dito, kasabay naman ay ang pagtikom ng aking bibig mula sa pagkakahikab hudyat na naman ng panibagong kalbaryo sa buhay ko. Ito ang palagiang senaryo tuwing ala-singko ng umaga. Ang pilit na paggising ko nang maaga. Napapaisip ako kung anong oras nagigising ang tindero ng pandesal upang ilako ang kaniyang tindang tinapay sa agahan. Katulad ko rin ba siyang kalbaryo ang tingin sa maagang paggising sa umaga? Hays ewan ko! Basta ako… OMG! Kumukulo na pala ang tubig. Saglit kong pagkakalingit. Magbalik tayo sa aking pagmumuni habang aking hinahalo ang mainit na barakong kape, bakit kaya may mga taong ganoon na lamang ang pagsisikap na gumising ng ganito kaaga? Saan man ako sumilip ngayon sa labas ng aking tinutuluyan ay mga nagmamadaling yabag ang aking naririnig at nakikitang presentableng kasuotan na kung minsan pa’y mayroong bitbit na animo’y makapal na kapote sa kani-kanilang braso. Saan kaya sila patungo? Naalala ko na naman ‘yung kapitbahay naming tuwina lamang ay inihahabilin kay nanay ang kaniyang bunsong anak. Kagaya ng iba ay umaalis din siya nang maaga, nasa isip ko naman ay bakit hindi na lamang nito alagaan ang kaniyang anak at mas pinipili pang umalis ng kanilang bahay? Pati tuloy kami ay naaabala dahil sa kakulitan ng kaniyang anak na mag dadalawang taon pa lamang. Maagang naulila sa padre de pamilya si Myrna, mariing saad sa akin ni nanay kaya’t noon pa lamang ay inako na ni nanay ang pag aalaga sa bata habang wala raw siya, kaya nasanay na ako na sa pagising ko ay may bata akong nakikitang buhat ni nanay. Isang araw nga ay sumilip ako sa bintana ng bahay
nila Myrna, linggo iyon ng hapon. Nagalit ako sa kaniya dahil sa nakita kong pangyayari, hinahayaan niya ang batang mag-isa sa kuna nito habang siya naman ay nakaharap sa computer at sa aking palagay ay may kung anong ginagawa. Isinumbong ko iyon kay nanay at sinabing dalahin na lamang namin sa DSWD ang bata dahil napapabayaan lamang ito ni Myrna, umiling lamang sa akin si nanay at ipinagpatuloy ang kaniyang ginagawa. Hindi pa rin ako mapakali dahil nag-aalala ako sa bata, laging pumapasok sa aking isip na ipagbigay alam ito sa ahensya upang mapalayo ang bata sa kaniyang iresponsableng ina. Maya-maya pa’y narinig ko ang malakas na iyak ng bata na nagdulot naman sa akin nang agarang pagkilos mula sa aking pagkakahiga. Nahulog ang bata sa kinalalagyan nito. Hindi ko napigilan ang aking damdamin dahil sa awa kaya’t napagtaasan ko ng boses si Myrna, sumunod naman sa akin si nanay dahil napansin siguro nito ang aking mabilis na paglabas ng bahay
patungo kina Myrna. Nagtataka ako nang makita si nanay na niyakap si Myrna kasabay ng pagpatak ng mga luha nito. “Sinabi ko naman sayo, handa akong alagaan ang bata”. Sabi ni nanay kay Myrna. Napatulala naman ako sa hindi ko maintindihang pangyayari na sa halip na magalit si nanay kay Myrna ay parang mas naawa pa ito sa kaniya. Noon din ay naliwanagan ako sa aking mga katanungan at pagtataka. Iyon pala ang napapanood ko sa isang aplikasyon na kung tawagin ay tiktok, palagi ko kasi nakikita ang isang influencer na nagpapaalala gamit ang ilang mga salita. Labis ang aking pagsisisi nang malaman kong ginagawa ni Myrna ang lahat ng kaniyang makakaya, mapakain lamang ang kaniyang anak. Nagta-trabaho siya sa isang maliit na kumpanya sa umaga at sa hapon naman ay nagsisikap na maging isang online seller kaya naman pala palagi lamang siyang nakaharap sa computer at mukhang maraming ginagawa, maling hinusgahan ko siya ng ganoon kaaga. Ngayon alam ko na kung bakit nagsusumikap ang iba na gumising ng maaga, kung saan sila patungo tuwing malapit na magliwanag at kung bakit may kung ano man silang bitbit sa kani-kanilang braso. Ito ay dahil may pamilya silang kailangang pakainin, may pamilya silang kailangan pag-aralin at may pamilya silang dapat buhayin, na ang tanging sulosyon lamang ay magtrabaho. “Aba anak! tinatawag ka na ni Myrna, tanghali na raw kayo at baka maiwan pa kayo ng shuttle. Oh s’ya tapusin mo na ‘yang pag inom mo ng kape. Huwag mong kalimutang bumati sa mga boss mo ha, ganoon sa trabaho”. “Tara! work po tayo, opo. Work po tayo”. pabirong saad ni nanay.
Patuloy na M “Gising na” sabi ni inay sapagkat lunes na naman, may pasok na ulit. Dali-dali akong bumangon mula sa higaan ko at tiniklop ang kumot, inayos ang mga unan. Lalakarin ko nga lang pala mula sa bahay patungo sa eskwelahan pero ‘di bale, maaga pa naman ako ng tatlumpung minuto. “Kaya ko pa ‘to” tang- ing wika ko na lang. Isang maghapon lang naman... Pero sa bagay, ang maghapon na ‘to ay limang beses sa isang linggo. Ang lapit ko lang naman pero parang ang haba na ng natahak ko hanggang tumingin ako sa relo ko, “6:50 a.m.” Ang bilis ng oras... sampung minuto para makarating ako, sampung minuto para simulan ko ang araw ko. Ulit. Sa wakas, andito na ako at sabay-sabay akong binati ng mga bata. Bakas sa kanilang mga ngiti ang saya, kita sa kanilang mga mata ang pag-asa, at gaya nila, dito ako nagsimula. Bawat pagbangon ko, ang dating “Gising na” para mag-aral ay “Gising na” dahil may responsibilidad ka pa. Hindi lang para sa’yo pero para sa mga ta- ong umaasa sa paligid mo. Kaya pala ang lapit-lapit ko na dahil ang dating pangarap ko lang ay naabot ko na pero ang layo ko pa pala sa mga gusto ko pa. Kaya pala ang bilis ng oras dahil hindi ko namamalayang unti-unti na akong nakararating sa mga bagay na pinaghirapan kong puntahan. Pero ‘di bale, ang maghapon ko pala ay kinabukasan ng iba. Kaya ko pa ‘to.
Magpapatuloy FAINNE BENIGNO ART BY JG GODOY
Dear Me, It’s been a while. It took me years to write this letter, and within those years, we’ve grown up so fast. I still remember the days when we were little, and we were just happy, playful, and joyful. But now, things are more silent, dark, and sad, and it worries me that it will last forever. The memories of the days that we struggled and suffered still linger on my mind. The countless tears, painful bruises and paralyzing self-doubt has always haunted me. Yet we are wariors! A warrior who stands from our crippling combats and takes a step forward and continue to fight in a war called life. All those hardships are just a page from our closed chapter, and we are now on a new page of our story. An opportunity for us to write a better story, the best and most exciting adventure. I would like to extend my utmost gratitude to you self for who we are today. I am sure that our younger self is proud of all the battles that we have won. I know that our younger self is in exuberant happiness for all the milestone that we have achieved. Please keep on moving forward and continue reaching our dreams. Please do not be scared of committing mistakes, for mistakes are our stepping stones on conquering big mountains and surpassing greater heights. Do not be afraid to be who you want to be ‘coz being true to ourselves are the essential key of being the best version of ourselves. This letter is a reminder for you to embrace imperfection. Warmest hug, ME
A Memoir GLENN BELLO ART BY JG GODOY
Life sometimes makes new experiences, beginnings, and things scary. After all, we perceive them as frightening because we don’t know what to expect. We often doubt ourselves to explore beyond our comfort zones and fail to acknowledge the fact that we learn from every mistake we make. People may not ANGELICA
always see the beauty in even the most basic things we do, but I hope you do. I am aware of our uncertainty in this chaotic world, but we should choose to grasp everything. Chances lie behind every single door; you just have to enter one. Choose to open a door and decide what to do next. MANSET
Will you believe me when I say that there is no perfect way to live your life? As clichè as it might sound, life is like a tire. One day you’ll wake up at the top, the next day you are not. It is not all rainbows and glitters. No it is not like a fairytale. But one thing I can say, as I myself lived in this cruel world, though it might seem that everyday you are in the midst of the rain, that everyday it’s like you are standing in the eye of the storm, there will be an end. It’s just like that one saying I have heard, “At the end of every storm, there is always a rainbow”. After every door of opportunities that closed, if you just looked harder, you will see a new door that is open, that will serve as your entrance to your own fairytale, to your own happy ending. One that is painful yet somehow fun. HEAVEN YVONNE BORJA
CENTE SUMM
RFOLD MER
TO SUMM
OC MER
Ka kay sarap, palaging hanap-hanap Sa gabing puno ng mumunting pangarap S’ya ang laging nais makayakap ‘Di nais mawalay sa akin, kahit isang sulyap Sa tuwing dumadampi sa’king mga labi ang ‘yong likido
ape MARIOS MAÑALAC ART BY JM OLAN Tila ako’y nasa ulap o ibang mundo Napapangiti mo ang isang katulad ko Sa aromang dala mo’y nabighani ako Sa t’wing maaalala ang aroma Ika’y mapapangiti sa ligaya Lasa ang magbabalik ng ala-ala S’ya ang kasama sa lungkot at ligaya Kapeng iba’t iba ang hitsura Ang nais sa gabi’t umaga Kay sarap at kay saya Mabuhay ng s’ya ang kasama
Find Me Between the Pages SHORT STORY VENUS RAMOS “Depending on your internet connec- direction and with my own bad sight. tion, it may take a few seconds for the file to load; if you’d like, you may I feel a slight increase in my heartbeat download it by clicking the link below.” as I carefully take in his face fullness Although I haven’t met him yet, he al- I sighed as I read what was on the ready looks so familiar. screen, “Not again.” “Are you looking for this book, Klea?” I I’m currently here at the bookshop was about to download the PDF of it which is only a few blocks away from earlier when he offered me the book my house. I always come here to read and asked. as a part of my daily routine. Yet, if this was our first meet, how “Need some help, Klea?” Mr. Rickman does he know my name? so I asked asked. him.”Have we met before?”How do you know my name?” The owner of this bookstore is Mr. Rickman, and as a dedicated book- His small smile causes an unexplainable worm, he frequently asks me what feeling in my chest. He grabbed a chair books I want to read and borrow. My and sat in front of me, staring at me internet is too slow to download the again, so I quickly pushed myself back file that I need, which is a new release to escape this uncomfortable situation. book by my favorite author, but sadly Mr. Rickman doesn’t have one of it yet, “I see you here way too often for me so I said, “I’m okay,” as I attempted to not to know your name.” restart my phone. I chose to just down- load a file so I would be able to read it He reached for the book on the table, but my internet is not working. turned through it’s pages, and stopped at the page that introduced the story’s Suddenly, I could feel someone staring characters. at me from the table in front which I also stared at him back. He stood up “This is me” he pointed at Zachary, the as soon as he realized I was also look- male lead of the story. ing at him and started to move towards me. I can’t see him clearly because I’m not sure how to react to the situ- of the weak lighting coming from his ation. I had so many questions in my
head that I am loss for words. I gave ing away from me. my wrist a tiny pinch to be sure it was actually happening. I smiled and look at the book that he had given to me. “Are you actually Zach?” I asked “Do you think I’m real? If so, then I am,” He “Klea, wake up,” Mr. Rickman said simply answered. while tapping my shoulders as I slowly opened my eyes. As I’m still in shock, I replied, “I wanted to believe that it’s real even though it If I was asleep, is everything a dream? feels like so unreal.” But I still have the book with me. Al- though it seems like a fever dream, I I continued to look at him. His lips, will continue to believe as he said. nicely curved face, eyes, brows, fluffy brown hair, and eyebrows. He resem- “I’m about to close my shop when I saw bles Zach in every way, just as I had you sleeping here so I had to wake envisioned. you up,” Mr. Rickman explained as he arranged the other books left on other He smiled at me again and said, “You tables. don’t need to be sure to know if some- thing is true or not, sometimes you just I asked Mr. Rickman, hoping that he have to believe it.” had also seen him, “Have you seen a man here a while ago? He’s wearing a “How did you find me?” I asked again. black sweater.” He held the book while leaning towards “I’m not sure, I haven’t seen a man here me. “You’re the one who finds me, inside the shop earlier.” through this book.” “Okay, thanks Mr. Rickman.” I respond- Now that I’ve thought about it, I under- ed with disappointment. stand it better. I’m living every reader’s fantasy? to get to know the made-up, I was putting my things in my bag when fictitious characters? I felt a paper stuck to the back of the book as I was putting it inside. I quickly “That’s all for now, Klea,” as he gently take it out, and when I do, I was hap- turned away from me. py to see a note written on the small piece of paper. “Wait, when will we meet again?” “Be- lieve and you’re going to find me within May we meet again. the pages.” He said as he started walk- - Zach jmARoT BlYan
AZHLEY ANNE LIMPIOS
JHON ERNIE LINGA
You don’t need to die nor do heroic deeds just to show your love and gratitude for your country, just be yourself and love, love in the most possible way you could, let it flow inside you and it will... HEAVEN YVONNE BORJA
Are you a moth or a butt I used to think that the greatest accomplishment of a caterpillar was becoming a butterfly. Instead of crawling, it soars on a pair of colorful wings. Boasting its majestic beauty while flying in the sky for the world to see. Still, I ponder. Does every caterpillar turn into a butterfly? Are all caterpillars interested in becoming butterflies? As these questions piqued my interest. I set aside my student organization duties and devoted my entire evening navigating all legal websites, researching about these caterpillars. Long and behold, I have found out that depending on the species of the caterpillar, it will develop into a butterfly or a moth during their pupal stage. There is not much of a difference. They get to consume the same food, fly at the same height, and undergo the same metamorphosis.
terfly: It does not matter. I find a resemblance between them and people. We wanted to reach new heights and come out on top; finishing with flying colors but we put too much pressure on ourselves by drawing a line between those who are doing well and those who are not. Comparisons based on insecurity that confine us to our own little cocoons. We were therefore denied the opportunity to evolve into either a butterfly or a moth. We just isolate ourselves by overanalyzing which “someone” we will eventually become. Let’s not be taken in by the caterpillar’s decision to emerge from its cocoon without a vibrant set of wings. The butterfly may be a representation of grace and liberation, but moths are revered as holy messengers who help us through the challenges of life’s upheaval. Metamorphosis can be both terrifying and beautiful, Yet, whatever emerges from that cocoon is you. Fuck the mindset where you assume butterflies are better. You are better when you are YOU. Because not all caterpillars choose to become butterflies. MICO AMPLAYO art by JM OLAN
CENTE FA
RFOLD ALL
TO FA
OC ALL
The smile you draw in my face whenever I see a picture of you and me, is the same genuine smile I am wearing today as I see the majestic photo of you and her and the kids. Shivers run through my back as I remember you hugging me from the back on a dim-lighted corner of our home. Crying a river, begging me to stop, to think, to choose you. You offered me the world, you promised me the universe along with its stars. But as the sound of the flickering lights enveloped our expanse, I forcefully untied your arms wrapped around me, turned around and held your face. I softly uttered, “I am letting you go not because I do not love you, I am giving you up because I do.. The world will accept you better. You will have a child, not covered with fur. A child, I will never bear.” I can’t hold back my tears of joy as I move the portrait of your family close to my heart. An art I wish I draw, But now an art you picturesquely made. Finally, the happiness you deserve is painted in your eyes in bright and warm colors. The love you coveted so much is etched in your soft and delicate lips. Your compassion to your wife and daughters illuminates a magnificent vibrant light as clear as the sky. It took me six years to sketch our future, but she painted it with you in your lifetime. And so I prayed to the heavenly father, that when He collects me tomorrow and relieve me of my pain and sorrow, He sends you and her and the kids a beautiful bird, and give you all a wonderful song. A song of love and blessings for eternity and beyond.
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