15 EE_Coping Skills_Pt1_3-5_final

You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf. —John Kabat-Zinn Coping Skills Level: Upper Elementary (3-5) Timeframe: 20-30 minutes Concepts: • Cool Down Strategies • Coping SkillsBig Ideas For This LessonWe all have our “things” we do to blow off steam, decompress, relax, let go, and deal with life’sdifficulties. Some of us go for a walk or meditate, while others may watch their favorite show orhit the gym. The list is limited only by our imagination, which is why the term coping skills can beconfusing or even used to justify harmful behaviors. In this lesson we will introduce students to theconcept of coping skills by defining what they are, generating some new ideas about coping skills,and ultimately helping students to develop a personalized list of skills to help them cope.While almost everything in this curriculum could be considered a form of coping skill; this lessonrelies on students’ own creativity and ideas to bring in strategies that they have experiencedpersonal success with. Students will brainstorm various coping skills as a group and then create apersonal list of their own “Top 10.”We intentionally avoid using the words good/bad and healthy/unhealthy when describing copingskills. This not only removes judgment and bypasses shame, it also highlights the reality that what ishelpful for one person may not be helpful for another. What works in one situation may not work inanother.2 For instance, some people have a non-addictive relationship with food and can use eatingas a coping strategy; another person may be experiencing food addiction and eat harmful amountsof food in order to cope. This principle can be applied broadly; nearly every helpful coping skill couldbe considered harmful in excess.Essential Vocabulary MaterialsCategory • Sticky notes or scrap paper for each studentCool down Strategies • Writing utensilsCoping Skills • Poster paper or other means for creating a classDifficult emotion coping skills list.© 2016 Empowering Education, Inc. PAGE 1 of 6 All rights reserved.

COPING SKILLS | GRADES 3-5PreparationReflect on your own coping strategies and think of 1-2 appropriate examples that you couldshare with the class. Students will connect more to personal stories.Teaching ScriptBUILDING BACKGROUND KNOWLEDGE & CONCEPT MODELING (I DO)Ask students to define the term coping skills and agree on a class definition. A basic definition is,“coping skills are anything you do to deal with difficult emotions.” Teaching Note: The term coping skills is interchangeable with cool down strategies. Choose a term that is appropriate for your class culture and grade level and stick with it.Discuss a few examples of coping skills and situations where they might be useful. Let’s think about a situation where we might need to use coping skills. For example, maybe you get into an argument with a friend at recess and start to feel heated. You notice yourself becoming angrier and angrier, and you feel like you are about to lose control. What can you do to calm down?Solicit student responses and discuss multiple examples of coping strategies (e.g. take a deep breath,walk away, use an I-statement, practice mindfulness, etc.).Once you have discussed a few examples, explain to students that they are going to be working withtheir group to brainstorm as many different coping skills as possible. While we have already learned some useful coping skills this year – like mindful breathing, I-statements, and the body scan – there are a lot of other creative ways to calm down. For instance, some people might hold an ice cube in their hand, scream into a pillow, exercise, take a bubble bath, rub a smooth rock, listen to music, or watch a TV show. It is helpful to have many different skills in your toolbox because not every coping skill works every time, and you might not always have a pillow to scream into or a TV to watch. Today you will work with your group to brainstorm as many different coping skills as possible. By the end of the lesson we will create a class list of coping skills and you will create your own personal list of coping skills.© 2016 Empowering Education, Inc. PAGE 2 of 6 All rights reserved.

COPING SKILLS | GRADES 3-5GUIDED PRACTICE (WE DO)Instruct students to break into groups and begin brainstorming as many coping skills as possible.We recommend using Jot Thoughts 2, or a similar active engagement strategy to facilitatebrainstorming. Teaching Note: If you are unfamiliar with the Jot Thoughts structure, the basic premise is as follows: • Students work in groups of 4 (+ or - 1 as needed) • Each student has a writing utensil and a stack of sticky notes, scrap paper, or a whiteboard to write their answers • Provide students with 30 seconds to 1 minute of think time • Decide on an appropriate time limit (anywhere from 30 seconds to 5 minutes, depending on the topic) and set a timer • During the provided time, students brainstorm as many ideas on the topic as possible. Once they have an idea, they announce it aloud to their group, write it on their paper, and place it face up on the desk. • Ideas should not be repeated. • The goal is to cover the group table/desk with as many ideas as possible • For added motivation, you can provide rewards to the group(s) that generate the most ideas • Once the time has ended, decide on a strategy for facilitating share-outs • If this is your first time using jot-thoughts, you may practice with a fun topic (sports teams, celebrites, etc.)When the brainstorming time has ended, facilitate a share-out. During this time, record studentresponses (or request student volunteers to record responses) on a poster paper to create a classlist of coping skills. This list will be kept for future use and can be added to at any time.Once you have created a class list, provide students with 5 – 10 minutes to create their ownpersonal list of coping skills. Encourage students to pick their “Top 10” coping skills that actuallywork for them and that can be used in multiple situations.Explain that this list is meant to be useful in helping them deal with difficult situations.Encourage students to keep it in a safe place or take a picture with their phone in order to accessit when they are not sure how to deal with difficult emotions.© 2016 Empowering Education, Inc. PAGE 3 of 6 All rights reserved.

COPING SKILLS | GRADES 3-5 Teaching Note: This is a great opportunity to link back to brain science and reinforce the Lizard-Wizard brain. In difficult and stressful situations, which part of our brain are we using?Pause for students to answer. At this point in the year they should be able to answer, ‘Lizard-brain’. Correct! And is the lizard-brain good at stopping to think about what to do? No! Having this list on your phone or on hand to look at will help you get back in your wizard-brain and remember skills that your lizard-brain forgets to use. REINFORCING LESSON CONCEPTS (YOU DO)Facilitate a reflection as a class, small group, or in journals. Key questions for discussion: • If you try one of these coping skills and it does not work, what do you do? Give up? • Can anyone calm you down for you? (No - you have to choose to calm yourself down by engaging your wizard-brain and practicing coping skills). • Can anyone share examples of a time coping skills have been useful? • Can anyone share an example of a time a coping skill did not work? • Can coping skills ever be harmful? Why or why not? Teaching Note: The 6-8 companion lesson on coping skills addresses the topic of helpful vs harmful coping skills and explores multiple categories of coping skills. This lesson can be useful for your personal review or can be taught at the upper elementary level as time allows.Emphasize that this list is not at all inclusive and ask students for more creative suggestionsof ways that they have learned to calm down when faced with a difficult situation or difficultemotion.© 2016 Empowering Education, Inc. PAGE 4 of 6 All rights reserved.

COPING SKILLS | GRADES 3-5EVIDENCE OF CONCEPT ATTAINMENTReflect on it Journal it• What coping skills really work for you? • Keep a daily record of coping skills used. Note which ones were effective and• What might be an example of a coping which were not. skill that could become harmful if used too much? What would be a helpful • Write about a time you did not use alternative? coping skills effectively. Then, rewrite the story imagining that you used coping• Why is it sometimes difficult to skills effectively. remember to use coping skills?• What is happening to our brain when we forget to use coping skills (which region are we using)?EXTENSIONS School-wide Classroom • Display cool down strategy posters in public places. • Post the Classroom Coping Skills poster in the cool down area or on a wall for • As a logical consequence for minor student reference. behaviors, ask students to generate a list of cool down strategies they • Encourage students to continue adding could have used as an alternative to to their lists throughout the year as their behavior. they discover new strategies. • Feature students who successfully used • Incorporate share-outs of successful cool down strategies in stressful coping skills into morning meetings and situations in assemblies or any systems other classroom circles. like, “student of the week.” • Reinforce successful use of helpful coping skills with positive praise.© 2016 Empowering Education, Inc. PAGE 5 of 6 All rights reserved.

COPING SKILLS | GRADES 3-5REFERENCES1. John, O. P. and Gross, J. J. (2004), Healthy and Unhealthy Emotion Regulation: Personality Processes, Individual Differences, and Life Span Development. Journal of Personality, 72: 1301–1334. doi: 10.1111/j.1467-6494.2004.00298.x2. Room8Video, R. (2012, November 28). Jot Thoughts. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgNwlDVNYvQ© 2016 Empowering Education, Inc. PAGE 6 of 6 All rights reserved.

COPING SKILLS | GRADES 3-5 REFERENCES 1. John, O. P. and Gross, J. J. (2004), Healthy and Unhealthy Emotion Regulation: Personality Processes, Individual Differences, and Life Span Development. Journal of Personality, 72: 1301–1334. doi: 10.1111/j.1467-6494.2004.00298.x 2. Room8Video, R. (2012, November 28). Jot Thoughts. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgNwlDVNYvQ © 2019 Empowering Education, Inc. PAGE 7 of 7 All rights reserved.