Clara Alicia Flipbook

CHAPTER 31 Learning to Forgive I could not believe my ears when I heard Freddy say, “I think Jimmy and his family are back from California!” Jimmy was Joe’s little brother and a friend of Freddy’s. “I saw their vehicles at their grandparents’ house.” I felt as if my heart went up to my throat and skipped a few beats. I had just come home from work as usual, looked out towards their house and saw no one there. Evidently, they had just arrived and their first stop was at Joe’s grandparent’s house. They lived not far from them. I stared at Freddy, grabbing him from the front of his shirt, saying, “You’d better not be lying to me or I’ll squish you like a bug!” I couldn’t believe I was actually saying that to my baby brother, it was so out of character for me. He just cowered and pulled his shirt out of my grip. “I’m sorry Freddy but did you really see them there?” “Yes!” nearly shouting it out. Sure enough that evening I heard that old familiar knock at my door. I composed myself before answering the door. He stood there as he had so many years before, then entered our living room with a big smile on his face. We shook hands as was our custom, then immediately we started talking. I had so many questions and he had so much to tell me about his trip. We were both so happy that he was back. About two or three weeks later, after coming home from work one day, even before I got out of my car—I noticed something strange was happening. Mr. Watson, the land developer, was driving away from our house. Amma was standing outside looking like she was waiting for someone. My siblings were also standing by her and looking up at her. She had a look on her face that I never forgot. She was wringing her hands and rubbing her arms alternately. She had been baby-sitting Lupita’s baby while she had gone to the laundry mat to wash little Neto’s diapers. Mr. Watson had come to tell Amma some news that was actually for Lupita, but since she was not at her

150 Clara Alicia: Memoirs and Genealogy own house he came to tell Amma that Lupe, Lupita’s husband, had passed away while on the job with the Highway Department—he died of a heart attack. I had gotten home just in time. Amma was trying to decide how to tell Lupita that her husband had just died. Amma looked at me as if I should do something, her hands were shaking felt numb. She was waiting for Lupita to return from the laundromat at any moment to pick up the baby. With all of us now standing outside on the street, others were drawn to come over to ask what was happening. And Mr. and Mrs. Tanguma were there also. Everyone was in shock and disbelief. Lupe was only twenty-nine years old. The ‘Lupe’s’ had been married for almost six years and had an eleven- month old baby boy. I didn’t have a clue as to what to do. Appa was still at work, so I had to try to calm Amma down. Finally, Mr. Tanguma offered to take Amma to the laundry-mat in order to give Lupita the sad news. Lupe had been like a brother to me. He was always kind and funny—a good husband and a great father. He was so proud of his little son. Since they first were married they wanted a child very much, but the doctor had told them both that neither one could (medically speaking) have a child. I remember how they prayed and always asked the whole church to pray that the Lord would give them a baby. One day, Lupita was feeling very exhausted and feeling that she wanted to sleep a lot. Amma suggested to her that she might be anemic as she had been before. “You need to go see the doctor so he can give you iron tablets and vitamins”, Amma told her. She went with Lupita to see the doctor. After the examination the doctor said, “Well, Lupita, I will give you iron tablets and vitamins, but not because you are anemic, but because you are pregnant!” Amma and Lupita could not believe what they had heard. They never expected to hear anything like that. They praised and thanked God all the way home. That evening, when her husband came home from work, she gave him the great news. We had never seen him happier. Lupe loved my mom as his own, and Amma loved him like a son. He was a great Christian man who was not shy nor afraid to witness about His Lord and Savior. I was crushed in my heart for this great loss. Never before had I experienced the sorrow of a loved one passing on to eternity. Lupita was devastated at the news. She and the baby came to live with us right away

Clara Alice Smith 151 because she didn’t want to go back into the house that they shared together. There were too many memories and she didn’t think she could stand being there alone. I gave up my bedroom for her without any question. Eduardo and Freddy let me have their bedroom, they slept on pallets on the living room floor. After the funeral, a few days later, our household was not as noisy as usual—except for the occasional sniffling, and Lupita’s and Neto’s crying in their bedroom, the house was very quiet for a while. A few weeks later, feeling said and lonely, I realized that I had not seen any of my friends since before the funeral. Nina was still in Colorado, and Joe had not come to see me either. I had been so preoccupied with my sorrow that I had not given the matter much thought—but now I was ready for company. We didn’t have a telephone in our home so that I could call Joe or him call me. I wondered why he had not come by to see me. I could’ve walked over to his house, but we were taught that a girl should never go chasing after a boy, it was just not proper behavior. Only on special occasions could a girl go knocking on her boyfriend’s door. Therefore, I waited and waited, thinking that maybe he was being respectful of the mourning in our home. Finally, one day, my friend Sophia came by and invited me to go to the football game with her the next day. While at the game I noticed that Joe was there, standing at the sidelines, watching the game by himself. He obviously saw me and Sophia sitting on the bleachers, but for whatever reason, decided to ignore us. I was hurt and decided that sooner or later we would cross paths and I would break-up with him for sure. Another week went by and still he didn’t come by my house. Finally, I decided that waiting any longer was not an option. I wanted closure, to have the assurance of not being his girl-friend anymore, to feel free. I was going to go to his house and just give him a note, breaking-up with him and getting it over once and for all. I decided to do that the next day because Amma expected me to go do the laundry at the laundry-mat that evening. While I was there waiting for the clothes to dry, I saw Joe at the door, motioning me to come over to where he was. Immediately, I knew what I had to do, but before I had a chance to say anything, he said, “I want to tell you something”. He looked very uncomfortable and almost scared. “It’s over between us.” “OK”, I answered, and turning away I went back in, sat down and picked up a newspaper pretending to be reading. I noticed from the side of my eye that he kept driving in front of the laundry-mat, back and forth, looking in my direction. When the laundry was finally dry, I drove home feeling like my heart was going to explode in my chest. There was a knot as big as a

152 Clara Alicia: Memoirs and Genealogy baseball in my throat. I tried to cry but the tears didn’t come. Joe and I had broken up many times before and it never hurt me. The reason being that I always did the breaking up—but this time he broke up with me. I felt totally rejected—relieved that it was all over for good this time. Now I could concentrate on my future. About three months later, Sophia came by and invited me to go drive around town, maybe get something to eat. She noticed that other than for my job, I had not come out of my house, since Joe had broken up with me. I found out later that Joe had put her up to Alice getting me out of the house. No sooner that we were on our way, I noticed Joe following us. I tried to lose him but he persisted, eventually blocking my car with his. He got out and walked over to my window, we all said, “Hi” to each other. “I need to talk to you”, he said. I said no to him several times. He was asking to come to my house that evening to talk. Soon he started pleading. “Please just hear me out,” he begged. “Okay”, I responded. “You can come out at seven-thirty.” I thought I would hear what he had to say—stand my ground and that would be the end of it. My pride and wounds had just healed and I didn’t want to go that path again. That evening he came as planned. He invited me to go into his car to show me all the new improvements he had made to it since I was last in it. One of the things he did was to install an eight-track tape player. He had a song selected and ready for me to listen to—adding to the words of his speech which he had obviously rehearsed before he came. As he began to explain why he had broken up with me, I was not interested and told him so. After much pleading, begging, and tears, I said, Okay, are you done because I need to go back in the house?

Clara Alice Smith 153 “No, I have one more thing to ask you—will you marry me?” I was flabbergasted. Never—ever in my wildest dreams did I expect this. I turned to look at him with my mouth wide open and my eyes almost popping out. I had no words to answer. At that point all was forgiven, as I threw my arms around his neck. I was finally able to say, yes! We both just sat there in each other’s embrace, and cried. After we had been sitting there for a while, not saying a word, he finally broke the silence, “I hope you don’t mind waiting about four years, because I have to finish college first.” I said that I didn’t mind and we were once again a happy pair. The next morning, I awoke with joy in my heart, thanking the Lord for giving me grace to put my pride aside and for being able to forgive.



CHAPTER 32 A Spiritual War (1966) It was during this time of my life that I felt the Lord was trying to get my attention. Some of the situations I had gone through in the last several months brought me to an awareness of God’s presence in my life, or the lack thereof. Amma persisted in her admonitions concerning my weaknesses and encouraged me. I believe that Amma’s faithful prayers on my behalf were what motivated me to reach out to the Lord—at least it encouraged me to take the first step of going back to church. This is when the spiritual war began. During a revival meeting the pastor of our church was preaching hard—it seemed as though he was preaching right at me. He exhorted everyone to come to the altar to pray and ask Jesus to save us. After church, I went to him and explained that I was saved a few years back. He asked me if I had sinned since then, to which I replied, yes. He told me that I had lost my salvation and must be saved again. I knew that this church was different in their teaching from the one we had previously attended and it was confusing me. He advised me to return the next evening and pray about getting saved then. I was truly serious about wanting to walk with the Lord, so the next evening I came forward from where I was seated and knelt down at the altar along with several others. After pouring out my heart out to the Lord in earnest prayer concerning my lost soul, I returned back to my pew and sat down. According to the teaching of this particular church when a person is truly saved they are supposed to be able to show some kind of sign, while praying, which would be an indication that God actually saved you. Some of the signs were either, excessive crying, shaking, or falling on the floor, or speaking in “gibberish” which they called “speaking in tongues”. While I was praying the pastor and Amma kept their eyes on me to see if they detected any

156 Clara Alicia: Memoirs and Genealogy of those signs which would confirm to them that I had truly received my request for salvation from God. Therefore, according to them, I was still lost and needed to try harder. After a few more evenings of repeatedly praying and asking the Lord to save me, I began to feel discouraged. The last evening of the “revival” I tried to pray once more begging the Lord to save me, and still no signs. After church Amma went to the pastor and asked him why the Lord wouldn’t save me? The pastor shook his head and told my mother that I probably had a big unconfessed sin in my life. After that, I went home and for days I searched my heart and mind without coming up with any “big sin.” I confessed all the sins I could think of, such as: not attending church as often as I should, not reading my Bible, and not praying every day—getting angry at my siblings and saying mean things to them, etc. All of this happened because I didn’t study God’s Word— instead, I listened to people who meant well but were Biblically illiterate. At the time I believed what any pastor said, as long as Amma believed in him. This went on for a couple of years until I learned how to study God’s Word—listening to no one unless they were able to prove to me what they were preaching was from the Bible. Finally, I realized that I had been saved since I first asked the Lord to save me while I was kneeling on our kitchen floor at the age of fifteen. I knew that since then I had a desire in my heart to serve the Lord. But the devil tried to tell me that I wasn’t saved anymore—that God wouldn’t save me and would never save me. While searching my heart for that “big sin” which the preacher said I had, I finally concluded with a little help from another misguided soul— “I’m illegitimate!” I didn’t know if I should be happy that I found the answer or just sink down into deep depression where Satan wanted me in the first place. How can God save me if I don’t even exist in His eyes? I thank God everyday now for His great salvation. Praise the Lord, I’m sure I’m saved and Satan can never fool me in this way again. One morning, around five-thirty, as I was driving my Fifty-Three Chevy to my workplace, something lured my eyes to look upward. In my haste to get to work on time, I resisted looking up, trying to keep my eyes on the road. It wasn’t unusual for me to be the only one on the road at that hour of the morning. I was still oblivious to this most Ammazing occurrence. Finally, looking up, I was shocked as never before. My mouth flew open, my eyes nearly popping out of my head, I exclaimed, “Oh my God! The world is coming to an end!” The still dark sky was exploding with a magnificent display of heavenly activity—the like of which no words could ever

Clara Alice Smith 157 describe. I watched in awe while millions and billions of stars were falling in every direction in the Texas sky. There was no area where there were no stars falling. I had never heard about, much less seen, a meteorite shower. My heart was beating rapidly as I tried to control myself. By this time, I was about half-way to my work place, trying to decide if I should keep going or turn around and go home. I decided it was easier to keep going straight to work so I stepped on the gas pedal and put it to the metal. My old Chevy went as fast as it had probably ever gone, which was not very fast. I was too scared to do anything else except pray. Wondering if this had something to do with the rapture or some other biblical doomsday prophecy! I wished that I had listened more closely to Amma and all the sermons and lessons I had heard from the Book of Revelation and the Second Coming of the Lord. I really just wanted to be with Amma right now. She would hold me and everything would be alright. Approaching “Neff’s Café”, where I worked, I saw Mr. Neff, my boss, in front of the café looking up at the beautiful but scary sky. I felt a sense of relief, just to know he was there. It would be more comforting going through the end of the world with someone like him. If Mr. Neff is still here on earth, that would mean that the end of the world is not yet here. When he saw the terrified look on my face, he reassured me that everything was alright and that nothing terrible was about to happen. The rest of the workers started arriving and taking turns using the telephone to call their families and tell them to go outside and see the fantastic sight that none of us had ever seen before. Later as the dawn broke, the starry activity slowly decreased until it totally disappeared. I started feeling better but still shaken up. I will never forget the most astonishing sight I have ever seen or will probably ever see until I behold the face of Jesus. Following the earlier occurrence of the meteorite shower, I felt that the Lord may have used the event to show me how really magnificent He is and how fragile that I was. I was now more inclined to listen to the preacher, even though I thought I was still lost. In my heart, I felt that I needed to invite Joe to church, thinking that if he came he would listen to a sermon, be saved, abandon his false religion, and then everyone would be happy, especially me. Joe wasn’t faithful to his church, he attended only once or twice a year. The problem was that I wasn’t bold enough or sufficiently knowledgeable to speak to him about spiritual matters. Also, I talked myself out of inviting him to church because I did not particularly like my church. I just went there

158 Clara Alicia: Memoirs and Genealogy because I didn’t know where else to go, and how could I expect him to get saved if I wasn’t, I thought. Joe and I didn’t talk much, so after praying about it, I made up my mind to ask him to come to church with me on the following Sunday. I felt a little nervous and shy about it, but I finally asked him while we were talking in my living room, hoping my siblings wouldn’t come in and mess up my plan. “I have something important to ask you”, I said shyly. He looked at me quizzically. “Would you go to church with me next Sunday?” “I can’t this Sunday, but maybe some other time,” he replied. At that very moment the kids came running into the living room making lots of noise. That was the end of that for a while. I became more and more discouraged about serving the Lord for the mere fact that I still thought that I was not saved. Why should I go to church, witness, read my Bible, or pray, if none of those efforts mattered until I was saved? I was becoming weary of asking God to save me and He just wouldn’t. I reluctantly gave up trying, but in my heart I had a desire to serve the Lord even though I felt it futile to keep on trying.

CHAPTER 33 He is the Potter, I am the Clay (1966) At nineteen years of age, I was adventurous and free spirited—wanting so much more for my life than I was getting. I also dreamed of traveling, doing great things, meeting interesting people, and making new friends. I didn’t know how or if I would ever achieve any of my hopes and dreams. Therefore, I began to feel restless. Several major things held me back from accomplishing my desires for my future: one, being my lack of education. I didn’t have the means or the way to go to night school in the big city. Secondly, Amma, she was a very good mother but she was afraid that I was not mature enough to make it on my own. She was especially concerned for my safety. Last but not least, there was Joe. Since our last break-up we had been getting along great, but he was changing. Since Joe became a senior in high school, I started noticing some changes in him that I didn’t like. There weren’t extreme but still different. The fact that he was the captain of the football team and very popular at school changed him somehow. For one thing, his parents gave him more freedom when he turned eighteen. For example, one day while we were talking he casually mentioned that he and his buddies were drinking. I immediately responded with total surprise at his remarks. “I don’t like the fact that your drinking now, I’m very much against that kind of behavior”, I said. “Hey, don’t worry”, he laughed, “I don’t drink that often, and I would never get drunk.” After that conversation, I seriously considered ending our unofficial engagement. After thinking it through, I talked myself out of it, telling myself that I still had four years to change him. Still hoping and praying that he

160 Clara Alicia: Memoirs and Genealogy would start going to church with me, although, I was not going to church on a regular basis either. For now, the only thing I could do to keep from feeling restless would be to go visit one of my married sisters. Mary and her family lived in Shallowater, Texas. Shallowater is a very small town not far from Lubbock, a much larger town. Socorro and her family were living in Mineral Wells, Texas, temporarily at Fort Wolters. Tele (Telesforo) had just returned from Viet Nam and was awaiting his official orders to move to Fort Mammoth, New Jersey, for the next three years. So, for now, if I wanted to get away it would have to be Shallowater. Besides, Mary had asked me if I could come and help her out when she had her second baby. The baby was due at the end of December. I was so excited about the new baby. Amma had already told me I could go, but I still had to tell Joe and didn’t know how he would take this news of me leaving for Shallowater. I decided to tell him the next time he would come over. The next morning at work, I heard something that would change my plans somewhat, whether or not to leave the very next day. My friend, Nell, who was also my boss’s daughter, would stop by the café on her way to school every morning. We would usually talk about what went on at school since I last saw her. She would confide in me concerning her boyfriend and I would share with her comments about Joe. She felt as though she was keeping an eye on Joe for me since I wasn’t in school. That morning she had a different look on her face that alerted me. “I have to tell you something,” she said in an almost demanding way. “Well,” embellishing every word as she gripped my wrist, pulling me closer to her, “You know that Joe was nominated the most liked boy for the senior’s class and Tina was nominated the most like girl?” “Yes,” I replied, “he told me and he also told me that they were expected to go together to the banquet. He asked me for my consent and I told him that it was OK with me, because I trusted him.” Nell was so ready to tell me the rest of the story that her eyes looked more rounded than I had ever noticed before, and her freckles seemed to want to pop off of her red face. “Did you see them there Friday night,” I asked? “Yes, but yesterday Tina told me that he kissed her before taking her home! Well, I’ve got to run or else I’ll be late”. After Nell left I knew what I had to do. I decided to leave for Shallowater the next day, and never look back when it came to Joe and our relationship. Knowing that even though I felt betrayed and made a fool out of, in the back

Clara Alice Smith 161 of my mind I knew that we could never get married. Not only because of what Nell told me, but because he was becoming one that I could never marry. I also realized that my pride had been hurt and I was angry more than anything else. That evening I packed my red set of luggage. The next morning Appa took me to the bus station and I left without saying a single word to Joe. Amma thought that I was coming back within two weeks or so but as the huge Greyhound bus heaved on past the “City Limits” sign. I tried hard to hold back the tears because I was thinking that I would never return until I knew for sure that Joe was out of my heart and mind. When I finally made it to the Lubbock Bus Terminal, I was greeted by some very special people—Apolonio, Mary, and their two-year-old son, Gilbert. How happy I was to see my sister, her husband, and son. I didn’t tell them that my plan was to stay indefinitely after their baby was born—maybe get a job in Lubbock and eventually rent a small place. I would have to keep that to myself so it wouldn’t get back to Amma. She would never approve. Mary and I agreed that I had gotten there just in time, for it was only a few days later that she gave birth, (on December 23rd, 1966) to a beautiful baby girl. They named her, “Christina”. Needless to say, I was very proud of my little niece. Amma, Appa, and the kids also came to witness this great event. This Christmas was not celebrated in the usual manner. There was no turkey, no cornbread stuffing, no Christmas tree with colorful lights, and no presents. With Mary in the hospital and Amma out of her environment (Her own kitchen) and me, not knowing how to cook a thing. We had to just eat whatever we could find. Besides, we were all very exhausted from going back and forth to the Lubbock Hospital, where the baby was born. But we got something much better for Christmas—Baby “Chrissie”. Once things settled down in the Romero household, and Mary was able to get (almost) back to normal after the birth of Chrissie (as she was referred to), I felt it necessary to start focusing on my unstable future. I felt that I needed to have a plan, to regroup or get my life in order, especially now that I was determined not to go back to Joe. I didn’t realize at the time but God was molding me to what he wanted me to be for his honor, and glory. But this was just the beginning. After leaving Joe, I began to pray more earnestly about meeting the right kind of young man that would possibly be my future husband. Someone who loved the Lord and wanted to serve Him as I did. Mary and Apolonio were faithful to their church in Lubbock, for which I was thankful. I enjoyed going to their church so much more than the one I had

162 Clara Alicia: Memoirs and Genealogy attended in Eldorado. There was a large group of young people my age there, and I made several new friends—among them a young man named “Johnny”. He was a very attractive, friendly guy. He seemed to be very dedicated, faithful person in the church. He always had a crowd of girls around him, laughing at everything he said. His parents were missionaries to Mexico. Their home was in Lubbock, but they made several trips a year to Mexico leaving their grown children behind. Except for Johnny, their children were all married. Johnny stayed with his sister and brother-in-law when their parents were in Mexico. His parents also knew my parents and would stop on their way to Mexico to visit us but I had never met Johnny until now. Later, I came to the conclusion that he was the kind of guy that would make a good Christian husband. One Sunday after church, I was pleasantly surprised when I saw Johnny walking towards me. Beginning to get nervous, I tried to compose myself. Not being sure if he was actually coming to talk to me or just keep on going past me. We had already been introduced but had never talked with him, alone. To my surprise he stopped right in front of me, putting his hand out to me. We talked for a few minutes about nothing important, when suddenly I heard Mary call me as they were getting ready for the short trip back home to Shallowater, about thirty minutes away. The next thing I knew; he was asking me if he could call me on the telephone the next day. I said, “Sure,” and we said goodbye to each other. Johnny and I dated a few times before I started noticing inconsistencies in his life. Soon after it became more obvious to me that he was just pretending to be a Christian and was nothing but a fake. I was glad to have found out before getting too involved with him. All the time he had been pretending to be a good Christian. He even had the pastor, Mary, Apolonio, and probably his parents, among others at the church, fooled. What I found even more disappointing was that his poor parents were in Mexico, doing missionary work, all the while confident that he was serving the Lord back home. Instead he was shaming them. Not only that, but using the church and Jesus, as a front. As soon as I realized who he really was, I distanced myself from him, but not before giving him a well-deserved sermon. Thank God, I didn’t get emotionally involved or hurt by him. The Lord allowed me to learn a valuable lesson in the process. It was all just part of the lord continuing to mold me into what he ultimately wanted me to be for His purpose.

CHAPTER 34 A Great Summer (1966-67) About two weeks after Chrissie was born, while I was still helping out with the baby, Socorro and Tele came for a visit. They were preparing to move to New Jersey from Mineral Wells, Texas. They also wanted to say good-bye to the Romero family before they made the big move, so far away. They would be stationed in Fort Mammoth, N.J., for three years. While visiting, Tele and Socorro asked me if I would like to go live with them for a while. My first reaction was “are you joking?” I searched their expressions in disbelief. Tele assured me that he was serious and Socorro agreed. Immediately, I thought, “wow this could be the change in my life that I’d been dreaming of and praying for—feeling as though I’d been offered a new lease on life. “Well?” Tele asked, “What do you say? “Yes”, I couldn’t say it fast enough, “Yes, I want to go with you! That would be the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me!” All I have to do now is convince Amma. I wrote Amma a couple of letters, pleading my case to her. I had never been that far away from home, and New Jersey was so far. She was going to have a hard time letting me go. The letter I had been waiting for finally arrived. I was so happy since there wasn’t time to waste. They would be leaving on January second, nineteen sixty-seven. Finishing the letter, I jumped up and squealed excitedly on the part that said, “Yes, you may go but, you must come back to Eldorado before you go because we need to talk.” I knew she’d want to give me a long lecture, but I didn’t care.

164 Clara Alicia: Memoirs and Genealogy The next day I got on the bus back home with only two days before departing, this time to New Jersey. Nina was the only one, other than my family, that knew I was in Eldorado and where I was going. I didn’t want the word to get out that I was back because I didn’t want to see or talk to Joe. The one whole day I was there felt so cold and lonely. Everyone was either at work or school. On the day of departure, Socorro, Tele and little two year-old Joyce came by to pick me up and to say good-bye to the rest of the family. I gave Appa the keys to my old ’53 Chevy. I had so many different emotions inside as we drove out of town—feeling sad that I wouldn’t see my family for a long time; even though Amma thought it would only be a couple of months. Also, feeling happy and excited about the prospects of a new, exciting life. And yet, there was the still fresh wound in my heart about Joe’s betrayal. This was a lot more difficult than I thought it would be. But I knew I was doing the right thing and someday I would be glad that I made this decision. The trip to New Jersey was uneventful but still enjoyable. Even though I was nineteen, I had no objections being under the authority of Tele and Socorro, knowing that they had assumed a great responsibility to look out for my best interests. Realizing their position, I accepted them as my guardians as long as I lived with them. I also suspected that they would be more lenient than Amma when it came to rules and restrictions. When we finally arrived we stayed in a temporary Army guest house until the assigned Army apartment was ready. Right from the first day there, I was amazed at everything. Fort Mammoth, to me, was in itself an exciting place to be. There were thousands of meticulously dressed soldiers everywhere. They were marching in a very organized manner—always practicing their maneuvers with a brass band playing a patriotic tune. It was so Ammazingly awesome that it made me want to cheer them on, but I didn’t because it wasn’t allowed. I loved the way that “Taps” would be heard through-out the base every day at four o’clock. Everyone would stop very still, no matter where you were on the base—you faced the humongous flag in the middle of the base, which was towering high above all the buildings. We would put our hand over our heart, while all wearing a uniform saluted it. Events such as this made me feel so proud of my country and always caused me to get a little emotional. Coming from a small town, I had never witnessed things like this, and definitely nothing like I was experiencing here. Socorro and Tele also found a church for us to attend as soon as we moved into a more permanent place, in a community called Eatontown, N.J. This town was not far from Red Bank, where the beaches of the Atlantic Ocean

Clara Alice Smith 165 were located. The Winter of 66-67 was the longest I had ever endured. The reason was because I was so ready and anxious to go to the beach. Once it finally got warm outside, I begged Socorro and Tele to take us to there. One of the things that meant a great deal to me was that Tele was so nice to me, willing to go out of his way to help me get a job at the P.X. (the Army base retail store). I loved my job there—meeting a lot of people and making many new friends. Most of all, I had never had a job that paid that well. I was able for the first time in my life to put some of my salary aside in a savings. Several soldiers asked me out on a date while working at the P.X. but I usually declined because I didn’t know them well enough, except for a couple with whom I worked. All in all, I had the greatest summer ever— thanks to Tele and Socorro. One of my best memories was going to see the Statue of Liberty for the first time. Another one was Central Park in New York City. After being in New Jersey for about eight months, Amma began gently encouraging me to come home in her letters. She missed me and was starting to show it in her correspondence. Then one day in August of 1967, I received a letter from her saying, “Hijita, I want you to come back home as soon as you can arrange it”. I knew she meant what she said. I gave my employer a week’s notice, which was the expected time—went shopping for gifts for my family and friends back home—said good-bye to my new friends as well. Among them was Carl, a soldier from West Point, whom I met while he was on furlough from the university. Carl and I were not allowed to date because we didn’t know each other well enough, but I had never met such a brilliant, proper young man before. When we said good-bye, he asked me if he could write to me. I wrote my address on a piece of paper—he put the paper inside of a book he had been reading. Later he couldn’t remember where he had put it, so I didn’t get a letter from him until months later. One day he picked up the book to resume reading and he found the paper with my address on it. He immediately wrote me and explained what had happened. The day came when I was to go to Newark International Airport and board the huge Braniff 747 Jet back home. I had never flown in any kind of aircraft and was so excited about the whole experience. This trip back home was a wonderful way to end the best summer of my life. The in-flight service was wonderful; the six-course meal was superb. The stewardess was very gracious, offering me a very small bottle of drink, which I refused after

166 Clara Alicia: Memoirs and Genealogy perceiving it was an alcohol beverage. While in mid-air, I began to think through my returning and now that reality was about to set into my life—in just a few hours from now. I felt I was a different person than before I left home. Not that it had changed the real me, but in that I felt more mature because of being in a totally different environment. I was now twenty-years old. All of the experiences I had had, and the people I had been around somehow opened up my understanding, causing me to see things in ways I never had before. I was so happy to be going back home, seeing my mother’s happy face—I couldn’t wait to hug her and talk to her, and talk to Nina and my siblings, as well. There was one more thing (person) I would probably have to face sooner or later—trying to be honest with myself. I told myself that I was definitely over Joe. “If or, when, I see him, it won’t matter at all. I won’t care if he is going out with someone else or not”, I told myself. Joe had no idea that I was returning to Eldorado, but it didn’t take long before he found out. The day after my arrival he saw me outside of Alda’s house as he was driving by with a friend. At first he didn’t recognize me because I looked different than I used to. I was now dressing a little more sophisticatedly and had a different hair color. As he drove on to where he was going he realized it was me and turned back around to take another look. By the time he came back I had already left with Alda and her family to watch a movie in Sonora. Alice in New Jersey, 1966. The following day he was beside himself not knowing how to approach me, so instead he persuaded his younger sister and a cousin to go to my house. They were pretending to welcome me back, but in actuality, they came to investigate me on his behalf. I readily caught on to their scheme and just played along—showing them pictures I had taken while in New Jersey. They mainly wanted to know if I had a boy- friend or was involved with another guy. As soon as they gathered enough information, they left hurriedly to take their

Clara Alice Smith 167 report back to Joe, who was waiting anxiously in his house. That same evening, I decided to pick up my friend Dorothy and go get a soda at a drive-in “Soda and Dairy Shop”. When Joe saw me leave my house, he followed me there. As he got out of his car I saw him from the corner of my eye walking towards my car. I said to Dorothy, “Oh no, he’s coming over here!” Dorothy knew all about Joe and me, and our “on and off” relationship for the last five years. “Just stay calm”, she said, “Just stay calm and act naturally!” By then he was already at my car Alice with her niece. window talking to me as if nothing had ever happened between us. He then casually got in the back seat and leaning over to me, speaking in a low voice as if Dorothy were not there. “I need to talk to you in private”. “No”, I answered, “We don’t have anything to say to each other”. After going back and forth for a few minutes, I felt sorry for Dorothy having to endure something that was probably very awkward to her and agreed to let him come to my house the next evening. I thought, tomorrow I will stand my ground and set him straight. That next evening, I let him do most of the talking. When he saw that I was standing my ground about not going back to him, he started begging and crying, telling me how miserable he had been for the last eight months. After listening a while, I began to feel those familiar feelings which I thought had been forgotten. After promising me everything and anything I wanted, I gave in and forgave him yet one more time.



CHAPTER 35 The Beginning of the Rest of My Life (1967-68) Not long after I had returned from New Jersey, Joe left Eldorado to attend Texas A&M, in College Station, TX. With most of my friends now either married or gone to college, I wondered what I would do, except for work, being all alone in this small town. I had become accustomed to the excitement of big city life. About this same time, Amma received a letter from Frances, who was living in Grand Prairie, TX. In her letter, she was encouraging Amma and Appa to consider moving there, adding that there would be more and better opportunities for all of us to find jobs, and that she would help in any way she could. Also, we could stay with her while we looked for a house to rent. After careful consideration, my parents thought it would be a good move for our family. They came to me to ask how I felt about this big decision to move to Grand Prairie. Since I was now twenty years of age, Amma knew that she couldn’t expect me to make such a move if I didn’t feel good about it. Neither would she want me to stay and live alone. At first I had a hard time with the idea of moving hundreds of miles away permanently. We had lived in Eldorado since I was eleven years old. This was the only place that I could call home. Down deep in my heart, I loved it here. This is where all my memories were, but on the other hand, since I returned from New Jersey, I wanted much more for my life and future than I could find in Eldorado. That evening I thought it through seriously, asking the Lord for guidance. The next morning, I felt confident in my decision, knowing that if there was any chance of making any progress, it would be important to join my

170 Clara Alicia: Memoirs and Genealogy family and move to Grand Prairie where, hopefully, there would be more opportunities and choices for me. At first when I told Joe about the move, he became quite upset. He felt that I had just recently returned from New Jersey and now I was leaving again. He began to get emotional; turning away he went home. A few hours later he came back. After thinking it through and studying the map, he was happy to see that we would actually be closer to each other, distance wise. A couple of days later he left promising to write often. After two weeks of his leaving, he surprised me with an unexpected visit. While visiting Nina one day, I happened to look out of her front door, I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw him getting out of his pick-up truck. I let out a loud squeal, throwing the screen door open. He ran up the steps to the front porch and into the living room, grabbing me, lifting me up off the floor, and twirling me round and round in the middle of the living room, while Nina and her husband came running from the kitchen to see what all the commotion was about. During this time my family and I were packing and getting ready for the big move. Joe had only come for the week-end, so we didn’t have much time to spend together; nonetheless, we did take time to have a long talk about our future plans. On his way back to college the next morning, he stopped by my house to say one last good-bye. We had no way of knowing then that we would never see each other again. When the day finally came to move, some neighbors came by to say good- bye and wish us well. Amma said a prayer for our safety and we were on our way. I drove my fifty-three Chevy with Ramon on the passenger seat and the car loaded down with some of our belongings. Appa drove his fifty-seven Chevy, with the rest of the family on board, while pulling a small trailer. When we finally made it to our destination we were all quite exhausted. We stayed at the Moreno household as planned. The very next day Ramon, Appa and myself began our search for a job, while Amma and Frances went out to find us a house to rent. Appa and I were hired at “Kips” family restaurant. Ramon was hired by the city of Grand Prairie. I was required to take about ten days of training before I could actually start work. At the time, I didn’t realize that this move and this job would change my life forever. At first I asked for the morning work shift since I had always worked morning hours everywhere else prior to here. That would give me the evenings free.

Clara Alice Smith 171 But when I noticed that all the young people my age worked the evening shift, I decided to ask the boss if I could change over. I had already met several of the evening crew but did not know them well. It wasn’t long before I started making friends with some of the girls. One of the boys in particular caught my attention right away. Not in romantic way, but just because he seemed so different. I thought this young man was very unusual. He seemed very sure of himself and always in control. He also attended Arlington Baptist College in the mornings and worked at Kip’s in the evenings. He was always friendly and jovial. The thing that was especially unique about him was his focus on spiritual matters. His conversations almost always led to the Bible. He always carried a stack of cards with Bible verses on them in his shirt pocket. During his breaks he would be memorizing them. Everyone at work spoke highly of him and some would go to him for prayer and spiritual advice. Even before I met him formally, I asked one of the waitresses, “Who is that guy?” “Oh, that guy?” she asked. “That’s David.” Joe and I stayed in touch through the mail. One day I received a letter from him in which he told me that he was coming to see me. He would be getting a ride with the football team to the Arlington Stadium, where there would be a game that evening, and to please meet him there. This simple request would turn out to be a monumental task. To be able to meet him there on the appointed evening I would encounter a few difficulties. First of all I didn’t have much time to rearrange my schedule. For instance, I had to ask my boss for the day off with short notice. Secondly, I would have to convince Amma to let me go. I told myself that if I had to, I would quit my job and defy Amma by gently reminding her that I was now twenty-years old and she would have no choice but to let me go. Thank goodness I didn’t have to do either one. But then there was a third and most difficult problem for me. I realized that I was still not familiar with this huge metropolis (as I saw it) and other than going to work and a few other places close to home, I didn’t know my way around. I was afraid to venture out that far, especially after dark, so I lost my nerve and didn’t go. That evening Joe waited and waited. I didn’t have a telephone at the time, so he couldn’t call me to ask if I was coming. He finally gave up looking for me. I felt badly about it but there was nothing I could have done other

172 Clara Alicia: Memoirs and Genealogy than to sit at home feeling miserable, thinking I would explain in my next letter and that he would certainly understand. His letter came before I had a chance to write him and in it he told me how disappointed he was that I didn’t come and wondered if I was alright. At the end of the letter he wrote that he was so upset that he went to hang out with his buddies in their hotel room and they all got skunk drunk. At first when I read that part, I could not believe what I was reading. I had to read it again. One of the things that Joe had promised me the last time I took him back, was that he would never, ever, take another drink. That promise was the main reason I took him back and it meant a lot to me. When I read that statement I felt that his promise was just a pretense to get me to take him back and that he did not mean it or never intended to keep it. In my next letter, I explained my predicament about not meeting him at the stadium and apologized for not coming, but I also refreshed his memory concerning the promise he had broken. I also explained to him other negative concerns I had about our relationship, how different we were in our thoughts and ideals. I had matured in my spiritual life and did not feel confident that he would be the kind of life partner that I wanted, and therefore, I was breaking our (unofficial) engagement. A few days later I received an answer to my letter. Needless to say he was expressing his deep displeasure using words that I had never heard before. On one hand, I was sad, but it was obvious, he was not the young predictable boy that used to do or say anything weird to make me laugh. But on the other hand, I was glad to recognize him for what he turned out to be, before I made a big mistake which would have ruined my life. This time I knew with everything in my being, that I would never take him back again. I had made up my mind what kind of husband I wanted and was not willing to settle for anyone less. As time passed I started to date other young men. In the meantime, David and I were becoming good friends. We enjoyed discussing the scriptures on a daily basis. One very wintry evening, while driving home, I had an accident due to the icy road conditions. A young man working at a nearby gas station came to my rescue. He drove me home in his car going a long way around to avoid the icy hills. He told me his name was Steve and that he was attending the University of Texas at Arlington, and that he was working at the gas station part time. Before I got out of his car he asked if he could call on me the next day. Steve and I began dating on a regular basis and not long after he took me to his home to meet his parents. About a week later he asked me to marry

Clara Alice Smith 173 him and I accepted his proposal. When David heard about this he stopped talking to me at work. I missed our talks about the Bible and the questions he would ask me to make me think. One of the first questions he asked me was, “Are you saved or born-again?” To that I answered “No”. “What! Why not?” he asked, with great consternation. “Don’t you want to go to heaven you die?” “Yes, of course I do.” I responded. “Then why haven’t you asked Jesus to save you?” he said. “Well”, I began, not sure about how to answer. “Because God won’t save me!” “What do you mean?” he said. For the next few days we discussed the subject of salvation. We didn’t have much time to talk at work, so we started writing notes to each other on a daily basis. One day on our break he asked me, “If I can show you from the Bible that you are saved, then will you believe me?” Around this time David had been showing concern about me dating Steve. He kept telling me that he was not a good Christian and that I should break- up with him because I deserved much better. One day David decided to witness to Steve and it was then Steve shared with him the good news about our engagement. That’s when David stopped talking to me. When I asked him if everything was O.K. he told me what Steve had told him and asked me if it was true, and why had I not told him. “I didn’t think it mattered to you.” I said. “Well”, he said, “Because we’re friends, I thought you would have mentioned it to me. And besides, you should not be marrying someone who is not a Christian.” At this point in our conversation I really wanted to tell him to stay out of my personal business. But instead I said, “I have actually decided that I don’t want to marry him. I don’t know why I said “yes”. Furthermore, I’ve decided to break up with him.” David’s attitude changed immediately, adding, “Well, that’s good and the sooner you break-up with him the better.”

174 Clara Alicia: Memoirs and Genealogy “By the way,” he asked bravely. “Would you go to church with me on Sunday and lunch afterwards? “I don’t know, but I’ll let you know after I break-up with Steve,” I replied. After that day, he would ask me every day, when I’d come in to work: “Well, did you break-up with him?” “Not yet,” I’d say. “You should tell him soon.” He would say. “It’s not easy, I don’t want to hurt him.” “Well you should tell him tonight. The longer you wait, the harder it will be.” He would say. Finally, that evening I made up my mind to break-up with Steve and get it over with, once for all. I told him that I was so sorry, but that I didn’t love him enough to marry him and it would not be right for neither one of us. The next day at work, David couldn’t wait to ask me again if I’d broken-up with Steve. This time, I said “yes, I did!” David responded with elation “Well, I’m so proud of you, you did the right thing! “Does that mean that you will go with me to church and lunch this Sunday?” “I would love to.” That Sunday morning, we went to church and afterwards we enjoyed a great lunch at one of the local restaurants. He was a real “gentleman”, opening doors and pulling out the chair for me, I was very impressed. After lunch he took me to a small carnival and garden area in Fort Worth, where we walked hand in hand, followed by a trip to a cemetery where he showed me the grave of a very infamous person, Lee Harvey Oswald (the assassin of President John F. Kennedy). I wasn’t really that interested, but I acted as though I was. We spent the whole day together and had an unforgettable time. Not because of the things we did and saw, but just being together and getting to know each other better. Before he took me home he asked me if I would like to be his girl-friend. I told him that I would think about it and give him an answer later. David and I continued seeing each other regularly. Hardly a day went by that we didn’t either see each other or write notes to each other. Amma had never been more supportive of any boyfriend I had ever had. I knew

Clara Alice Smith 175 that she was happy that I was dating David, from the beginning, and the reason was because she could tell that he was a true Christian and that I was happy. By this time David and I had done many Bible studies and had many spiritual conversations. He was everything that I had been praying for in a life partner. One evening while on a date he asked me if I would marry him. I had no doubt about my answer because I also knew in my heart that this was the man that the Lord had brought into my life. I knew in the short period of courting that I had fallen in love with David and I was ready to start the rest of my life with him. After accepting his proposal, we made plans to marry on November 16, 1968. After a small wedding we moved to Henderson, TX, where we attended Texas Baptist Institute and Seminary. Our wedding took place at the chapel of Calvary Baptist Church in Grand Prairie, TX, where we had been attending. We made our home at 209 Garden Lane, Henderson. About a year and a half later, on January 4th, 1970, the Lord blessed us with a precious baby boy, whom we named, Jonathon David. He was born about seven weeks premature weighing only four pounds and three ounces. Two years later, the Lord blessed us again with a beautiful baby girl. She weighed six pounds and three ounces, January 3rd, 1972. We named her, Wendy Cher. They were both born at Henderson Memorial Hospital. A year after Wendy was born and after David’s fourth year at the Seminary, a church in Tyler, TX; Unity Missionary Baptist Church (now University Baptist) asked David to be their pastor. After two years there we felt led of the Lord to go to Canada (David was born in Canada) and start a church in the city of Mississauga, Ontario. After almost a year in Canada the lord blessed us yet again with the birth of our last child, Benjamin Paul. He weighed seven pounds and five ounces. David and I dedicated our lives to doing mission work and church planting in different parts of the world and in the U.S.A. As a young teenager I dreamed and hoped to someday travel to exciting places, to meet interesting people and make many new friends; to someday have a wonderful husband and fine obedient children, all of us serving the Lord together. Praise be to God! He answered my prayers and blessed me beyond what I had hoped and dreamed. And then if that wasn’t enough, God has also given us ten beautiful grandchildren of whom all have been saved and baptized. I have been blessed!!

176 Clara Alicia: Memoirs and Genealogy Jonathon (an associate pastor/youth pastor) married a wonderful young woman, Jill Marie Morrow (pastor’s daughter) March 16, 1996. They got married at Sublett Rd Baptist Church, in Arlington, TX. They were blessed with two children, Allison Renee, born in Arlington April 24, 2002. And Matthew David, born also in Arlington on November 25th, 2006. Wendy married Brandon Hunter Pickett, October 26th, 1991, at Madison Heights, VA, in Grace Baptist Church. Brandon serves the Lord in various capacities with the Southern Baptist Conservatives of Virginia and often teaches at Liberty University in Lynchburg, VA. They were blessed with four beautiful children; Andrew John (July 18, 1997 Lynchburg, VA). Lauren Alicia (Feb 1st 2000 Lynchburg, VA). Raechel Faith (Oct 17th 2003 Danville, VA). Lily Alayna (April 26th 2012 Lynchburg, VA). Benjamin (executive pastor of Stonebridge Baptist in Morgantown, WV) married a beautiful Christian girl; Joy Annell Jolly, August 30th, 1997 in Pinellas Park, FL, at 60th Street Baptist Church, where David and I were pastoring. They have four wonderful children: Daniel Austin, Sept 1, 1999, Raleigh NC Kristiaunna Joyelle, August 10, 2001, Sparta TN Jada Renee, Feb 17, 2005, West Memphis AR Joel Benjamin, June 9, 2008, Arlington TX. This is the last chapter of this writing, but it’s just “the beginning of the rest of my life”, and only the Lord God knows how and when it will end. Glory be to God!

ADDENDUM A The Tragedy of Clara Matthaei By Selma Metzenthin-Raunick and Nolan Schulze Clara Matthaei was genuine Texan. On a visit to the state in 1849, her German grandfather, Fritz Schlecht, from whom Clara seems to have inherited her aptitude for writing, had become intrigued by the vast expanse of prairie, the dense woods, the wealth of wild game—by the untamed spirit of the land, so different from his overcrowded, over-developed, over-civilized home country. Although at first he feared to bring his family, accustomed as they were to the modes of living and the conveniences of a German city, to the raw and uncertain conditions of young Texas, the account of his experiences and observations, Mein Ausflug nach Texas (My Excursion to Texas), which was published shortly after his return to Germany, gives evidence of the hold Texas already had on him. For eight years Fritz Schlecht struggled against the temptation to emigrate. Then a decline in his business seemed to justify in yielding to his great desire. Hurriedly he packed his belongings and set out for Texas, where he bought a tract of land near Bellville. After building a log house—a rather spacious and convenient one for pioneer days—he sent for his wife and little daughters. The Schlecht home soon became a gathering-place for the settlers round about who enjoyed discussion not only of their individual problems but also of more general topics, political and social, American and European. Some, curious or interested, came to examine Mr. Schlecht’s unique and extensive collection of weapons. The literary-minded found great satisfaction in browsing about his library—small, no doubt, from a modern standpoint, but extensive enough for his time; and music lovers found the family always ready to contribute to a varied musical program or group singing of simple

178 Clara Alicia: Memoirs and Genealogy folk-melodies. Bach, Beethoven, Schubert, and Schumann were familiar household possessions. How vital a place music held in the Schlecht family is made clear in an early poem by Clara Matthaei. The poem grows out of the fact that she had refused her most favored early suitor because he did not share her love of music: One gift which we possess at home, Music and song, he cannot give; And, lacking this, I cannot live. Clara seems to have inherited other traits as well from her grand-father: love of the open country, of hunting, of outdoor labor; a romantic temperament; and the gift of self-expression. And like her grandfather, Clara loathed hypocrisy and affectation. Although she was born after his death and so never knew him in person, she held his memory in high esteem. Only a few years ago she republished in Das Wochenblatt (Austin) Mr. Schlecht’s Mein Ausflug nach Texas, adding a biographical introduction in which she expresses her appreciation of her grandfather’s character. Clara also pays tribute to her grandmother Schlecht: If I say…that I honor my grandfather, I must now add that I marvel at my grandmother. Brought up in a tranquil, bourgeois environment, suddenly uprooted—separated from brothers and friends never to meet again— [she came] into a strange, wild land, to a thousand discomforts and hardships, even perils! And how she adapted herself to everything without a murmur, with sustained cheerfulness! Clara’s mother, the elder of the two Schlecht daughters, who became Mrs. Arnold Matthaei, seems to have been of different mold, timid and wavering, over-eager to be well regarded, very conventional, and in general quite incapable of understanding or respecting the strongly individual personality of her daughter. Although she was very tender-hearted and generous, and had many friends, Mrs. Matthaei had a horror of all things unpleasant or inharmonious; her foremost desire was to have everything run smoothly. Several years after the death of her first husband, Mrs. Matthaei married again, and subsequently lived much of the time in a northern state while her children remained in Texas with their mother’s sister, Anna Schlecht. It seems that Clara did not have very much affection for either her mother or her stepfather. Her devotion was given to Aunt Anna, who early became a dominant factor in the child’s life. When Clara, years later, wrote of her

Clara Alice Smith 179 grandfather that she had for him “the greatest sympathy, the most boundless admiration,” she added, “my aunt Anna excepted; and she…had inherited more of his mind and spirit than my mother.” Clara’s first novel, Wer bin ich? (Who Am I?), published in Leipzig in 1913, which deals with the unhappy relations between a mother and one of her daughters, while not literally autobiographical, nevertheless leads the reader to surmise somewhat analogous conditions in the author’s life. ‘ Clara Matthaei was not born in the original log house built by her grandfather Schlecht but in a more pretentious home, which, together with a plot of land, the old gentleman had given to Clara’s mother as her dowry. Clara, born in 1884, was the youngest of the three Matthaei children. Her brother, who was educated at Harvard, opened a law office in the home town, made a conventional marriage, and lived the conventional life of the small-town elite. Clara’s sister, who with aunt Anna had been friend and tutor to the baby of the family, likewise made a conventional marriage. But Clara was different. And it was this difference which made her an author; for she learned early that she must not expect understanding or sympathy from friends and acquaintances or from her own family. She soon began to pour out her thoughts on paper: her first attempt at such self-expression was made in verse when she was thirteen years of age. Like her grandfather and her aunt Anna, she was given to roaming about the country on horseback, with a gun ready for her protection or for hunting. Thus her thoughts and dreams had ample time to take shape; but, as her first verses tell us, these were frequently far from comforting or satisfying. Clara was never sent to school. In this matter the aunt was probably motivated, as later Clara herself was motivated with respect to her own children, by the feeling that a school environment left far more to be desired than did the home. Reading, writing, and other elementary subjects Clara learned from her older sister. Once for a period of five months she received instruction three times a week at home from a tutor; but after her thirteenth birthday she received no formal education whatever. The fact that this lack of academic training was no handicap to Clara, that it was perhaps even fortunate, doubtless due to the inherent independence and inquisitiveness of her mind, as well as to the stimulating influence of the Schlecht home environment. About the first of these factors little can or need be said here: the reader need only glance into a few pages of any one of her literary production. From what we know about Clara’s childhood in the Schlecht home, we can readily imagine how she must have spent her days. There were Grandfather Schlecht’s shelves of books—almost exclusively—

180 Clara Alicia: Memoirs and Genealogy and his rifles and numerous pieces of artistically engraved copper. There was riding and hunting. Yet while these occupations doubtless afforded interest and variety, they were inadequate to satisfy Clara’s zest for life and her desire for satisfactory companionship. Separated from her mother much of the time, lacking daily association with school companions, the girl must have endured many lonely hours. When she was sixteen years old, her sister, whom Clara loved dearly, was married. Thereafter Clara had to depend almost entirely upon the companionship of her aunt, and, as she says, “had plenty of leisure to dwell alone with my thoughts.” There was, to be sure, no lack of opportunity for friendship. Aunt Anna was noted for her hospitality. The family was one of the most distinguished, socially and culturally, in Austin County. Clara Matthaei was an attractive, popular girl. But she was also sensitive and mentally alert to such a degree that there were few or none who could give her the kind of love and friendship her mind and spirit demanded. Her frustrated longing for companionship finds passionate expression in Wer bin ich? —the novel already referred to, written in her twenties. In 1909 Clara Matthaei’s mother died, leaving to Clara the old homestead and the land on which she had now lived for twenty-five years. And in 1913 Clara made the acquaintance of Ascension Palacios, a young Mexican who had left his native land three years before on account of the Madero Revolution. Since the young foreigner could speak no English, he was forced to earn his livelihood in Texas as a common day-laborer. At this time Clara Matthaei was nearly thirty years old. As has been indicated, her early poems and her youthful, partly autobiographical novel show that during her late teens and her twenties she had suffered no lack of suitors and proffers of matrimony. These writings also reveal the inner struggles which accompanied these proffers and resulted, until the arrival of her foreign suitor, in refusals. But to romantic Clara Matthaei, who hated the narrow conventionalism of her home town, such an exotic figure as Ascension Palacios appealed strongly. Besides, he was very musical. In the space of scarcely half a year the young foreigner had completely won the young writer’s affection. Her marriage to Palacios on October 22, 1913, aroused consternation and disapprobation in all of Clara’s friends. It was, of course, in direct opposition to the wishes of her family—with the exception of Aunt Anna, who, in spite of, or perhaps because of, the storm which this marriage aroused, accepted

Clara Alice Smith 181 the fait accompli with sympathetic understanding. The couple lived with Aunt Anna on the old Schlecht homestead. During their early married life, they were so assiduously occupied with rehabilitating the farm, which had fallen into neglect during the years when there had been no man of the family in charge that their social ostracism was of little concern to them. When acquaintances and relatives finally realized the indifference with which the Palacios couple met their fate, there was a gradual loosening of tension. The terrible prophecies which the unconventional matrimonial venture had called forth failed of realization. On the contrary, the couple seemed to be happy and prosperous. Mr. Palacios learned to speak English and German, and they read German literature together; Clara learned to speak Spanish. She adapted her cooking and the whole management of the household to her husband’s customs and tastes. He, in turn, learned to help celebrate Christmas, Easter, and birthdays in accordance with German tradition. Mrs. Palacios found in addition that her husband brought into her home a sympathetic understanding of her literary endeavors. There were three children: Diego, born in 1914; Consuelo, born in 1917; and Silvestre, born in 1921. “The children spoke three languages fluently. The family paid a great deal of attention to music, playing and singing Spanish songs, classical German compositions, and American folk-songs.” A letter written by Clara Palacios during these years reveals how active a life she was leading: I do all the sewing and washing; from January to May and again from September until early winter I operate a couple of incubators. In the winter we kill from four to six hogs; in the spring we plant a large garden, with which my husband helps me as much as his labor in the fields permits. I preserve vegetables and cook blackberry, plum and grape jelly in sufficient quantity to last through the year—for instance, some fifty pints of snap- beans, one hundred jars of tomatoes, and so on. Although Aunt Anna is going on seventy-seven years, she still helps me faithfully with the children and about the house. In spite of my work, there always remains a little time to ride Pegasus. Of the interval 1922-34 little can be said here. Too many of the misfortunes and hardships which filled the last years of Clara Matthaei’s life are intimately associated with the affairs of persons still living to withstand the light of the written or printed word. It may be said, however, that the path of matrimony did not continue smooth for her. About twelve years after his marriage to her, Ascension Palacios suddenly disappeared from home. For some time, he had acted in a manner which indicated that a sudden, unaccountable

182 Clara Alicia: Memoirs and Genealogy change had come over him. His disappearance was followed first by frantic searches on the part of his wife, and later by his spasmodic reappearances in Bellville, which gave rise to acute domestic disturbances. After a short time, Mrs. Palacios was forced to divorce him. (Divorce papers are on file in the Waller County Courthouse). In the meantime, a quiet young tenant on Mrs. Palacios’ farm had proved to be her most faithful friend, ceaseless and unobtrusively seeking to make life bearable for the unfortunate wife and mother. Francisco Reyes had come to Texas and to the Palacios home before the birth of Clara’s third child, whose godfather he became. His intention had been to return to Mexico after a short visit, but instead he remained with the family year after year, motivated at first, no doubt, by his friendship for Ascension Palacios, and later by a realization of the needs of the deserted family. The character and personality of Francisco Reyes are dominant in the motivation of the action in two novels by Clara Matthaei, A Man So Quiet (Bucher mit sieben Siegeln) and its sequel, The Compadre (Der Compadre). The incident of the near-kidnapping of Clara’s daughter by some vengeful person and Francisco’s interference to prevent the crime is a striking case in point. Through many other trials, Reyes was Clara Palacios’ constant reliance. Finally, in 1929, they were married. The loss of their property, the pressure of local prejudice, and the prospect of more tolerable living conditions in Mexico—where Reyes owned a little property—finally persuaded the hapless family in 1930 to move to Aguascalientes. There Clara Reyes spent the remaining years of her life. She died November 2, 1934. The emotions with which Mrs. Reyes undertook the removal to Mexico and her experiences during the journey form the subject of perhaps her best lyric, “Meines Lebens glucklishste Zeit” (written in German and not available in translated form.) In this poem, after recalling happy memories of her youth— the white lilac in the garden, the call of wild doves in the forest, horseback riding at twilight, music and dancing at night—and referring tersely to the recent luckless play of her “last trump card”, she rises to ecstatic triumph of in the absoluteness of her poverty and her exile. For though she travels “friendless and homeless, exiled and banished, on wild paths through a foreign land”, she has the faith and love of a noble heart—her husband’s; and the shabby little car holds a priceless treasure, her children. She still owns a whole world, her world; and this is her happiest time. The literary productions of Clara Matthaei were published almost exclusively under one or the other of two pseudonyms, “Gertrud Hoff” and “Walther Gray”. Most of the poetry appeared under the former name and

Clara Alice Smith 183 all the prose, with the exception of her first novel, Wer bin ich? under the name “Walther Gray”. The consistency with which she employs the two names is not without further significance. The attentive reader will soon perceive that her writings actually seem to be the expression of two distinct personalities. In the work of “Gertrud Hoff” we have a delicate revelation of the feelings of an exceptionally sensitive personality. In contrast, both “Gray’s” personality and his treatment of subject-matter impress the reader with a certain lack of delicacy. “Gray” writes realistic, unpolished, often almost brutally frank accounts of life in Austin County, Texas. “Gertrud Hoff” is predominantly—though by no means exclusively—romantic, subjective, and introspective. “Walther Gray”, on the other hand, is almost— though again not altogether—the antithesis of “Hoff”: objective, realistic, satirical, and humorous. “Hoff is almost Icarian; “Gray” keeps his feet on the ground. The melodious, smooth verse of “Gertrud Hoff” beckons the reader to read and reread, to listen and feel. It frequently calls to mind the poetry of Heinrich Heine. But the masculine partner of the “Hoff” – “Gray” combination is not interested in euphonious effects; he is concerned too consistently with presenting life as it is. The dual personality of Clara Matthaei may be considered from another angle. As is so often the case, the more subjective, lyrical qualities are uppermost in her earlier work, while in her more mature work—after the World War—she became rather a keen observer of human affairs and social conditions. Where her youthful work had expressed a sense of melancholy, or her inner emotional struggles, or ecstatic hopes and fears, she now revealed an interest in the problems of family life, in social attitudes, in inter-racial relationships. Not that there was a sudden transition from poetry to matter- of-fact prose. After about 1915, it is true, Clara Matthaei was less prolific as a poet than in the Vineta Lieder years, and there was a corresponding increase in her prose writing. But her later poetry is all the more beautiful because of its added dignity, restraint, broadness of sympathies, and depth of feeling. In her later years, Clara Matthaei’s writing became richer through the merging of fact and fancy, of realism and romance, of earth and ecstasy. A further paradox confronts the reader of the prose work: the paradox of a strict localism of setting combined with an exceptional broadness and nonconformity of outlook. It has been pointed out that most of Clara Matthaei’s narrative prose deals with the life of Bellville and it’s immediate environs—the only world which the author knew at first hand. It was a small world, with all the provincialism, the narrow—yet understandable and hence not altogether reprehensible—prejudices inevitably found in the smaller communities of Texas where tradition has become a guiding force.

184 Clara Alicia: Memoirs and Genealogy In such a world, where everyone lives everyone else’s life, Clara Matthaei lived, and expressed in her writings her own life. Her spirit could not fail to transcend the oppressive illiberalism of her milieu; yet physically and externally she could not help being affected by her surroundings. It would be interesting to consider what Clara Matthaei might have been had she found her physical and social environment more congenial. Would her irrepressible urge toward self-expression have produced works of enduring universality? Would she have benefited substantially from first-hand contact with the great world of human affairs? Even without such contact, she touches almost every aspect of human nature, of human thought and emotion—love, hate, religion; education, philosophy, science, psychology. Without formal or systematic study of any of the ruling ideas of human civilization, she gained a keen understanding of their general significance in the world of men and women. But one cannot help feeling that her innate talents, freed from her spiritual isolation, from the narrow circle of prejudice which she transcended intellectually but not physically, from the necessity of defending her own unconventionality, from a physically burdensome routine, would have been able to achieve a better coordinated grasp, a better organized interpretation of life. It is a magnitude of conception that Clara Matthaei is most noticeably deficient. The majority of her prose sketches, short stories, and novels have certain external features in common. They are written in the first person and were published under the pen-name “Walther Gray”, with the sub-caption, “Aus meinen Tagebuchblattern” (“From the Leaves of My Diary”). Their setting is Bellville and its surrounding country. This locality is given the names “Brooksville” and “Del Monte”. One or more persons from a definite group—notably the Tiegelmanns, the Rosses, and the Rothenburgs (obviously thinly veiled pseudonyms of typical Bellville folk)—appear in each of the stories. Externally, therefore, these works would seem to be in the form of a narrative prose sequence. But in plot and theme, the stories are not treated as a unified series; with a few notable exceptions, each deals with an independent situation. Among the predominant qualities and characteristics of “Walther Gray’s” works is a strong vein of satire, usually having for its victims the people of “Brooksville”. Their formal, conscienceless piety, their dogmatic adherence to custom, their unquestioning acceptance of the status quo, their petty pride, their inexorable racial prejudices bear the brunt of “Gray’s” sallies. Humor—in quantity, at least, surpassing what we should expect from the pen of a woman like Clara Matthaei—is abundantly provided in Der Compadre through the medium of the Mexican characters, Guadalupe Ramos, Domingo

Clara Alice Smith 185 Mesa, and Eugenio Diaz. And although in this novel anecdotes and puns are repeatedly used to secure humorous effects, the writings of “Walther Gray” are characterized in general by humor of a less trivial nature. Humor, satire, and the language of the characters are closely interwoven. In her simple, skillful adaptation of dialogue to character, Clara Matthaei closely approximates the methods of the naturalistic realist. By photographic presentation of personalities through conversations she reveals the foibles of her characters and the incongruities of her situations without effort, without artificiality, without a self-conscious attempt to be humorous or satirical. She exhibits unsurpassed skill in distinguishing the speech of various types of German-Texans and of Mexican-Texans. Nimrod Tiegelmann speaks precisely as a typical Austin County farmer of German extraction would speak. The excellence of this sort of transcription of dialect in Clara Matthaei’s writing can, of course, be fully appreciated only by the German- speaking student who is familiar with the language of descendants of German immigrants to Texas. Three of Clara Matthaei’s novels were published during her life-time. Wer bin ich? Appeared in book form in Germany in 1913; Bucher mit sieben Siegeln appeared serially in a Texas newspaper (Das Wochenblatt) in 1923; its sequel, Der Compadre, likewise appeared serially in 1924. All three novels are semi-autobiographical. Wer bin ich? tells the story of an orphaned girl (the Clara Matthaei of Vineta Lieder years) who is trying to fathom her own enigmatic personality; the method employed is that of a romantic novel. Gladys Randolph, the heroine, seeks to analyze her emotional struggles by taking into account ancestral influences and inherited traits. The discovery of her mother’s diary provides her with the key to her own inner conflicts—conflicts chiefly between the difficult search for a steadfast faith in herself, on the one hand, and submission to the spell of transitory imaginary compensations, on the other. These conflicts are resolved, finally, through the influence of Anton Waracek. In Bucher mit sieben Siegeln and its sequel, Der Compadre, we recognize among the characters several persons intimately associated with Clara Matthaei in real life. “Walther Gray” himself is the author come to earth. Cassy Rothenberg Guzman is the author slightly idealized. Santiago, Esperanza, and Salvador are Clara Matthaei’s three children. Enrique Guzman’s German mother is Clara Matthaei’s Aunt Anna Schlecht. We may safely assume that the remaining characters are also drawn from actual life, although their counterparts are not definitely identifiable.

186 Clara Alicia: Memoirs and Genealogy The problem of the novel Der Compadre hinges upon the Mexican interpretation of the duties of a compadre, or, more exactly, of the correct attitude of a compadre toward the mother of the child for whom he is sponsor. Antonio Benavides, the hero of the story, has been called to be godfather to the child of friends, a Mexican father, Enrique Guzman, and a German- American mother, Cassy Guzman. The father dies, and the young godfather feels that his love for the widow, his comadre, is developing into passion. Although he realizes that in leaving the widow (who, he believes, returns his affection), he will cause her great grief and rob her of the only stay she has, the young Mexican disappears. He might surmount all other obstacles or break any other law in order to gain his beloved, but the law that governs the relationship between compadre and comadre raises an obstacle that cannot be overcome. The widow, knowing nothing of this unwritten moral law, grieves deeply over the apparent unfaithfulness of one on whom she had come to rely. Near the end of the story this seemingly hopeless situation is resolved. Walther Gray, a friend of the widow, finds the lost compadre. The discovery is then made that the priest who performed the christening ceremony is an impostor, a murderer. The conscientious compadre feels that his only obstacle is now removed—has, in fact, never really existed. Antonio then asks Cassy to marry him. Among Texas authors writing German prose, Clara Matthaei stands preeminent. While there are a few good novels and stories by other hands than hers, only one Texas writer, Hugo Moller, author of Aus Deutsch- Amerika (1894) and Grand Prairie (1909), has done enough creditable work to deserve mention beside her. As a poet, Clara Matthaei may also be said to share honors with one only, the pioneer Johannes C.N. Romberg, whose collected verse was published in Germany in 1900. (The end of first document copied in its entirety from Selma Metzenthin- Raunick and Nolan Schulze) SCHLECHT, FRIEDRICH (1816-1874). Friedrich (Fritz) Schlecht, coppersmith, adventurer, and frontiersman, was born in Bunzlau, Silesia, Prussia, in 1816. He married Henrietta Roensch on May 16, 1843. Like many Germans fleeing revolution in the spring of 1848, Schlecht decided to head for the Texas frontier. His skill as a passionate outdoorsman and his long-time dream of a wilderness adventure influenced his choice of destination. After a sixty-day voyage aboard a cramped immigrant ship, Schlecht landed in Galveston in early June and began trekking through the game-rich woodlands and prairies as well as visiting settlements along the way. West of San Antonio, alone and armed with only his rifle and hunting

Clara Alice Smith 187 knife, he stumbled into a camp of Comanche’s. The chief, impressed with Schlecht’s bravery, invited him to sit, drink coffee, and smoke a peace pipe. Schlecht departed unscathed. His survival probably also demonstrated the effectiveness of the treaty that had been signed between the German colonizer John O. Meusebach and various Indian groups in 1847. At the end of the summer of 1848, Schlecht returned to Germany, where he recounted his adventures in a book, Mein Ausflug nach Texas (1851), published in English as “On To Texas!” (1998). Schlecht decided in part to write this book because he considered other German accounts of the state misleading. His detailed description of Texas is credited with giving many Europeans who were thinking of emigrating not only an entertaining but also an accurate and useful picture of the state. In 1857 Schlecht returned to Texas to settle permanently in Austin County. He was joined by his wife and two daughters the following year. He was the maternal grandfather of novelist and poet Clara Matthaei. Schlecht died in 1874 and is buried near Bellville, Austin County. BIBLIOGRAPHY: Selma Metzenthin-Raunick, Deutsche Schriften in Texas (San Antonio: Freie Presse fuer Texas, 1934). Clara (Matthaei)Reyes, “Vorwort zu Mein Ausflug nach Texas” (Austin: Das Wochenblatt, April 10, 1930). Charles E. Patrick MATTHAEI, CLARA (1884-1934). Clara Matthaei, a novelist who wrote under the pseudonyms Walther Gray and Gertrud Hoff, was born near Bellville, Austin County, Texas, on June 26, 1884, the daughter of Arnold and Clara (Schlecht) Matthaei. Because her father died when she was still young and her mother remarried, her upbringing was entrusted to her aunt, Anna Schlecht. Although Clara never attended any formal school, she obtained an excellent education under the guidance of her aunt and for a short time from a private tutor. In addition she also pursued her own studies. She was introduced to German literature at an early age and mastered the German classics. Clara’s maternal grandfather, Friedrich Schlecht, an early German settler in Austin County, also possessed literary talents. His book, Mein Ausflug nach Texas (“On To Texas!”), 1851, is one of the most interesting travel accounts ever written about Texas. It was apparently from Schlecht that Clara derived her inspiration for writing. Finding it difficult to assimilate to the small town, conventional life that surrounded her, she turned to writing an early age. At eighteen she sent the editor of a German- language newspaper in Austin County a poem using the pen name Gertrud Hoff. Contrary to its usual policy, the paper published the poem. Many

188 Clara Alicia: Memoirs and Genealogy other expressive and well-crafted poems followed this first one. Almost all of Clara’s poems, including her first published anthology, Vineta Lieder (“Songs of Vineta”), 1911, as well as her first novel, Wer bin ich? (“Who am I?), 1913, were written under the name Gertrud Hoff. Anumber of the early poems by Clara Matthaei bear witness to the seriousness with which she attempted to conform to the wishes of her family and close friends, even in the realm of her romantic life. Nevertheless, in 1913, to the dismay of her friends and family, she married a Mexican refugee from the Madero revolution, Ascencion Palacios, with whom she eventually had three children. The newlyweds lived on the old Schlecht farm outside of Bellville and occupied themselves with renovation and improvement of the house. Clara’s husband learned German, and together in their leisure hours they read the German literary classics and sang the songs of three countries. Music was one of Clara Matthaei’s fondest pastimes. Gradually after the end of World War I, the marriage went sour, and she eventually divorced her husband. In her distress, she again found refuge in her writing, now using the pen name Walther Gray. Her stories, had they been written in English, would be classified as short stories. In them she vividly depicts the virtues, weaknesses, and foibles of her characters. During her lifetime her critics considered her two autobiographical novels, Buecher mit sieben Siegeln (English title A Man So Quiet), 1922-23, and its sequel, Der Compadres, 1924, to be the best examples of her prose writing. By means of her sympathetic understanding and close connections with Mexican Americans living in Texas, Clara Matthaei learned not only the language but the character of these people as well. Her stories realistically present Texans of various ethnic and cultural backgrounds, particularly German and Hispanic. In 1929 she married Francisco Reyes, a long-time family friend who was also an immigrant from Mexico. As a result of her two marriages to Mexicans, she experienced racial prejudice first-hand. In 1930 she moved with her family to the interior of Mexico. She continued to write for the German- language press in Texas until, shortly before her death, she was forced to sell her beloved typewriter in order to buy necessities for her family. On November 1, 1934, she died in Aguas Calientes, Mexico. BIBLIOGRAPHY: Selma Metzenthin-Raunick, Deutshce Schriften in Texas (San Antonio:Freie Presse fuer Texas, 1934). Selma Metzenthin-Raunick, Texanische Schriftsteller (Stuttgart: Die Leterature, Oct. 1926-Oct. 1927 [Aug. 1927]. Selma Metzenthin-Raunick and Nolan Schulze, “The Tragedy

Clara Alice Smith 189 of Clara Matthaei,” Southwest Review, October 1935. William Trenckmann, “Frau Clara Reyes” (Austin: Das Wochenblatt, November 16, 1934). Charles E. Patrick



ADDENDUM B Genealogy of Clara Alicia Cruz Smith Alicia’s grandparents: Ascension Palacios & Clara Matthaei Palacios.

192 Clara Alicia: Memoirs and Genealogy (Gregory/Palacios) Cruz: Assumed name Smith: Married name Gregory: Biological Father Palacios: Biological Mother Heusch……………………………………...Birth 1691- Death 1735 Kauffmann………………………………………….….1692 – 1756 Catharina Elisabeth Luders…………………………….1701 – 1762 Sara Elisabeth Ehlers…………………………………. 1728 – 1799 Phillipp Milow………………………………………….1756 Jacob Hinrich Hudtwalcker…………………………….1770 – 1799 Anna Magdalena Olte………………………………… (no dates available) Helene Schuchmacher (Mother of Henriette Roensch Schlecht) Henriette Roensch- (Wife of Friedrick Schlecht) Clara Schlecht - (mother of Clara Matthaei) Johann D. Matthaei - (Father of Carl Arnold Matthaei) Louis Wolf Matthaei- (Father of Johann D. Matthaei) Carl Arnold Matthaei- (Father of Clara Matthaei and Wolfgang Matthaei) Clara Matthaei- (Mother of Consuelo Leopolda Palacios, Diego Palacios and Silvestre Palacios) Ascension Palacios- (Father of Consuelo Leopolda Palacios, Diego Palacios and Silvestre Palacios) (Ascension and Clara divorced, He married again and had several other children by his second wife). Consuelo Leopolda Palacios – (Mother of: Maria Del Carmen, Maria Guadalupe, Maria Del Socorro, Maria De Los Angeles, Clara Alicia, Roberto Edmundo, Jesus, Graciela, Eduardo and Alfredo). ADDENDUM C

Palacios History By: Clara Alicia Palacios Gregory (Cruz) Smith These records have been handed down from generation to generation, since 1796. They were first recorded in Spanish and then in 1994 in English by my great aunt Evangelina Palacios Pena. I met her for the first time (since I was an infant) in 2012 when she shared these records with me. I have rewritten and edited the information for clarity sake. In the seventeen-hundreds there was a man by the surname of Lerma from Monte Morelos, Nuevo Leon, Mexico. He was referred to as “Hasendado”, which means ‘rancher’. Mr. Lerma was well known by the community; a man of power and wealth, an owner of much land, livestock and many hired servants. This man seduced one of his maids and she gave birth to a son. He attempted to keep it a secret so he made arrangements for a friend by the surname of Palacios and his wife to adopt the child. He also gave Mr. Palacios land and a large amount of money (silver pesos) for the baby’s care and future. Mr. Palacios named the baby “Victoriano”. When Victoriano grew to manhood, he met and married a beautiful young woman who had clear eyes and red hair by the name of Marta Mireles who was born in 1796. They were married in 1820 in Monte Morelos, Nuevo Leon. Later on Victoriano built a house for his family on the land that had been given him from his natural father, Mr. Lerma. This estate was located to the East of Canas Hacienda Ranch, outside of San Augustine, N.L. He owned large herds of cattle. Once a year all the cowboys would gather to do the branding. Victoriano and Marta had five children: 1. Pedro—1821 (My great-great grandfather) 2. Jose Maria—1823 3. Maria Concepcion—1825 4. Maria Antonia—1827 5. Ambrosio—1832

194 Clara Alicia: Memoirs and Genealogy Pedro Palacios Mireles married Petra Espinoza in 1846. Petra was born in 1825. Pedro was given the North part of the hacienda where he and Petra made their home. Petra gave birth to three sons but only one survived, his name was Eduardo Palacios Espinoza (My great grand-father). One of the two that died at birth was named Diego. It’s not known what the other baby was named. Eduardo married Estefania Tellez Montelongo in 1881. Her parents were Juan and Hilaria. Estafania was born in 1857 in San Augustin. Eduardo was born in 1847, in Monte Morelos, Nuevo Leon, Mexico. In 1857 the civil law was established. Eduardo and Estefania first lived in San Augustin by the Alamo on a ranch called “Cuiral”. Then moved to a place called “Hacienda Aventura”. Then to “Hacienda La Dalia” by the “Punta La Carrera Del Zaino” along the river. They finally settled and bought property in a place called “La Mulita” in 1891 which is where they raised their ten children: 1. Diego—1882 2. Genaida—1884 3. Celestina—1886 4. Trinidad—1890 5. Ascencion—1890 (My grandfather) 6. Pedro—1892 7. Espimenio—1894 8. Maria—1896 9. Odilon—1898 10. Emilio—1900 In 1907 three of their sons migrated to Texas under refugee status from the Madero Revolution; one of them being my grandfather, Ascension. In 1909 their parents also migrated to Texas. They settled in Cal Allen, near Corpus Christi, Texas. Ascencion went to work on a farm in Bellville, Texas, which was owned by my grandmother, Clara Matthaei. She was a German lady who was born there and raised by her Aunt Edith Schlecht. Ascencion and Clara were married and had three children who were also born in Bellville, named: 1. Diego 2. Consuelo Leopolda (my mother) 3. Silvestre When Consuelo was nine years of age her parents divorced. Clara remarried a man named Francisco Reyes. They moved to Aguascalientes, Mexico and

Clara Alice Smith 195 stayed there until Clara passed away when Consuelo was seventeen years of age. Diego married Terresa Gallarde from Aguascalientes. They had ten children and made their home there. 1. Gloria 2. Irene 3. Marta Elba 4. Jose Bruno 5. Carlos Alberto 6. Arcelia Isabel 7. Enrique Eduardo 8. Francisco Javier 9. Miguel Angel 10. one died at birth Consuelo married Marcelo Cruz in Aguascalientes, Mexico, and she gave birth to four daughters: 1. Maria Teresa—1937 died at birth. 2. Maria Guadalupe—Sept 9, 1938 3. Maria Del Socorro—May 31, 1941 4. Maria De Los Angeles—Aug 3, 1944 Consuelo and Marcelos marriage failed. Consuelo returned to Texas where she later met E.W. Gregory, an Irishman (E.W. is believed to stand for Edward William). Consuelo gave birth to me, Clara Alicia, on July 25, 1947 in a tent near the Resaca de Los Cuates (a creek in South Texas near Russellville, formerly Barreda, in Cameron County. Before my birth, my father, Mr. Gregory disappeared never to be seen or heard from since. A year later after my birth Consuelo gave birth to a boy. She named the baby, Roberto Edmundo Zuniga. When I was three years of age my mother met and married Francisco Suarez, a divorced man with five children: 1. Teresa—May 15, 1935 2. Roberto—Feb 11, 1942 born in Taft TX 3. Alda—June 7, 1943 born in Mathis TX 4. Francisca—Feb 12, 1945 5. Ramon Donato—1946

196 Clara Alicia: Memoirs and Genealogy Francisco and Consuelo had four children between them: 1. Jesus—March 21, 1952 2. Graciela—July 22, 1953 3. Eduardo—July 5, 1954 4. Alfredo—April 26 1956 Francisco was born Feb 12, 1912; died August 27, 2000. Consuelo was born Dec 4, 1917; died Sept 5, 1985. When Ascencion and Clara’s marriage ended he went to work for the railroad for a while. He married a second time to Francisca Perez. They settled in Kingsville, Texas, and had five children: 1. Adan Alfonso—Feb 4, 1927 2. Julian Alonso—April 12, 1928 3. Evangelina—March 11, 1930 4. Juan Pedro—Sept 10, 1931 5. Petra Hilaria—Sept 17, 1934 Later Ascencion became a share cropper at a farm two miles east of the Naval base near Kingsville, where he lived until his death in 1967. My mother told me that he had accepted Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior on his death bed. I praise God for my grandfather’s salvation. Summing up the Palacios generations—ancestors of Clara Alicia Palacios Gregory Cruz (my alias), Smith (married): 1. Lerma—great, great, great, great, grandfather. 2. Victoriano & Marta—great, great, great grandparents. 3. Pedro & Petra—great, great grandparents. 4. Eduardo & Estefania—great grandparents. 5. Ascencion & Clara—grandparents. 6. Consuelo & E.W. Gregory—parents. 7. Clara Alicia married David Paul Smith (Klassen) Nov 16, 1968. Our Children: 1. Jonathon David—Jan 4, 1970. 2. Wendy Cher—Jan 3, 1972. 3. Benjamin Paul—July 7, 1976.

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