DATING AFTER DEATH - Final with reviews

MEENA MISHRA (Founder & CEO - The Impish Lass Publishing House) Meena Mishra is an award-winning author, poet, short-story writer, social worker, novelist, editor, an educator and a publisher. The Impish Lass Publishing House is her brainchild. Her poems, stories and book-reviews have been published in many international journals and magazines. She is the recipient of several prestigious awards. She is an active member of Mumbai English Educators’ Team and was invited by the Education Department of Maharashtra to be a part of The Review Committee for the new English textbook. She has been invited as a judge for several literary competitions. Her poems are published in many magazines, including the prestigious periodical Woman’s Era. She has been a contributing author and poet for more than 30 anthologies. Her contribution to the field of education and writing has received acclamation from the esteemed newspapers like Times of India and Mid-Day. Her articles published in Times of India’s NIE and a suburban newspaper and leading educational magazine of the country- Brainfeed Higher Education Plus. She is on the mission of publishing the articles of students and educators of various schools across the globe under her unique project, ‘The Young Bards’. Her 96

autobiographical novella, The Impish Lass, has been converted into a web-series by Visionary Studioz (Mumbai) and can be subscribed on YouTube. Under the banner of her publishing house (The Impish Lass Publishing House- Mumbai) she has successfully published more than 50 books in 2 year’s duration apart from The Young Bards- book 1, 2, 3,4 ,5 and 6. More than 500 writers across the globe have received an opportunity of becoming published writers and poets under this banner. She was invited to share her views by Sony TV for their first episode of, Zindagi Ke Crossroads, based on needs of special children. She was recently invited by the “AajTak” news channel to express her views on the special episode on the PMC Bank scam victims. She had written an exclusive poem which was read and appreciated by the living legend of Bollywood- Amitabh Bachchan. As a publisher she believes that EACH SOUL THAT WRITES HAS THE RIGHT TO GET PUBLISHED. 97

Dear Friends, I am going to introduce to you Til, The Impish Lass. To begin with, let me tell you that she lives in your heart. Deep within all of you resides an impish lass or lad. Someone who loves breaking rules, bunking classes, loitering around, enjoying with friends, visiting different places, wandering like a free soul in the open fields, climbing trees, accepting challenges, taking risks, discovering small delights of life, appreciating beauty, experimenting new things, keeping secrets, falling in love, crying when heartbroken and ready for reconciliation. It’s a common scenario for all of us. What do you do when you look at a beautiful rose, a laughing baby, a gorgeous lady or a handsome man? You smile, you are in high spirits, and you overlook your qualms for some time. Even Til feels the same. After reading her story you would feel it’s your story, your neighbour’s story or probably your parent’s story. Because she is one of you. The anecdotes from her childhood have the power to make you feel happy, feel sad, feel crazy, feel relaxed. A common naughty girl wearing the naughtiest smile. She is The Impish Lass. Loads of Love, Meena Mishra 98

I LOVE YOU BARBIE DOLL Teenage is the combination of turmoil, confusion, struggle for identity and many more things. These six teenagers had become best buddies but there was a twist in the story. All three girls had a crush on Varun, the eldest brother. He was a college student and lived in a hostel in Calcutta. He used to visit Charhi only during vacations. The other two boys were in school. Vikram was in grade nine while Vishesh was their classmate. So, these three girls and Vishesh had one thing in common, their studies. Til, Vikram and Vishesh travelled by the company bus to Hazaribag, 20kms away from Charhi. Ila and Ira studied in the school very close to their house. They met in the evening on the terrace and discussed the events of the entire day. They made fun of their classmates. They imitated their teachers. They discussed how tiffin was made empty before the lunch break in school, how home works were completed under the desk in other periods, how chits were passed to communicate, how tick-tock was played in between the lectures secretly, how these two boys were scolded for keeping Amitabh Bachchan’s hairstyle, how some graded subjects were done only during exam time, how leave notes were signed by them to skip punishment, how report card was hidden because of low scores. They had a lot to share every day. Most of the time the talking part was done by the girls and listening part by the two boys. But when Varun was at home all five would listen to him. He used to share his college and hostel experiences. One day Ila confessed in the group that she had a strong liking for Varun. Varun looked at her with a smile. She blushed. Ira and Til got confused. Their eyes met and talked. How could she do this? Til liked him so much but she had decided never to confess this. He was her first crush, her Amitabh Bachchan. That was the first heartbreak for Til. Teenage real and reel crushes are the most beautiful ones, but with time you realize that you all have to grow up. When heartbreaks occur, you have to handle your own self to stand back to life and smile. First heartbreak is generally the most painful one, 99

and so it was for Til. She had never thought that with a heartbreak, getting her friendship broken, she can survive but she put on a brave face on everything. That night she wrote in her diary I am feeling awful, pathetic, sick and sad. I am feeling terrible, miserable, and horribly mad. I want to cry, shout and scream, I want to get rid of the sadness within. I am angry with myself, with him and everyone around, such a bad feeling was never before found. I was always mentally fit and sound, Until he swayed me on the place without ground. I never believed in love at first sight, But now talking about that is not right. How? Where? When? Why? Did I fall in love with this guy? There was no time to find the answers, As I was anything but conscious. There was a numbness in soul and mind, that only in love can one find. The time spent with him was simply fantastic, He had a personality truly charismatic. The look, the warmth, the cuddle, the kiss, Oh, how much am I going to miss!! I loved him, I love him, and I will love him forever, But love should be love, not a favour. 100

The sighing, the moaning, the waiting and sleeping, Cannot replace a lover’s weeping. Meeting him today, thinking to part ways. Hardly knowing how to deal with this phase. Tears rolling down my cheeks are creating to spark They are the witness to broken pieces of my heart. I can’t define this in words, even though I am outspoken, let me confess one thing, I am simply feeling HEARTBROKEN. She couldn’t sleep the whole night. She decided not to meet these people for few days. She needed some time to come out of this feeling. Their friendship broke. No words exchanged no quarrelling, no fighting. Of course, she never told Ila the reason for not coming to the terrace. She excused herself in the name of preparation for exam. Not that they wouldn’t meet or talk. Everything looked normal to others. By now everybody in their friend circle knew that Ila and Varun liked each-other. As usual when Varun’s vacation got over, he returned to Calcutta. Next vacation was after three months. Again, the friends started meeting as usual. Til never allowed anyone to peep deep inside her heart and gauge her feelings. But she started writing a diary. The academic year ended, and they grew up a bit, physically, mentally and emotionally. Til created an invisible fence around her. No boy was allowed to cross that fence. Love was something she loathed to talk about. She diverted her attention towards reading and writing along with gardening. She was successful in managing her emotions, but fate had something else in store for her. With the lost love, broken promises and the most endeared friendship that she had lost, she distanced herself from the real world and found her own existence to be a misfit one for the entire group. Concealing her thoughts to a diary and building a difficult wall around her, she cried and wept for the most loved things and bonds lost 101

with a confession. Her diary sucked all the pain, she had in her and hence, Til is still thankful to her diary for being a dear friend in times of need. Varun had come home after a long time. The whole gang was supposed to meet on the terrace that evening but when she reached there, she didn’t find anyone. She thought of sitting there for a while, waiting for them and then leave. Before she could get up to leave, Varun came and sat next to her. “Where are others?” She asked. “They have gone to the riverbank,” he replied. “Were we supposed to meet there, today?” she inquired. “They were supposed to meet there,” he answered. She was filled with bewilderment unable to understand anything. Varun asked her to calm down and explained that they were there as he wanted to talk to her in private. Oh God! The thought of being alone with Varun gave her Goosebumps. She thought she heard it wrong. But that was the truth. She tried to shift a bit to maintain some distance between her and Varun. He shifted a bit closer. “What’s wrong with you?” he asked. “Nothing,” she said avoiding eye- contact. “Do you have some feelings for me?” he asked. She wasn’t prepared for this sudden strike. She looked at him as if trying to gauge what he was up to. Was he trying to make fun of her feelings? But she had never ever shared her feelings for him with anyone and that was a big relief. She looked into his eyes and felt very uncomfortable. He repeated his question and the answer remained the same, ‘silence.’ “For God sake! Please answer my question,” he whispered in a desperate manner. “What is the use of it? Everybody knows that you and Ila like each- other,” she replied. “Who told you this?” he asked. “Your love story is an open secret Varun,” she said in a louder voice trying to calm her nerves. “Did I ever declare this in front of anyone? Did you see me expressing my love for her?” he inquired. “No,” she replied. He came very close to her and looked into her eyes. Such an intense look! Her heartbeat increased. She could actually feel a shiver in her body as she used to feel before getting fever sometimes. “I will be leaving for Calcutta tomorrow to pursue my studies in medicine. I am here just for a day, so thought of telling you something before I leave,” he said. He held her shivering hands and whispered into her ears, “I love you Barbie Doll. Do you love me?” She didn’t know what to say. 102

“I don’t want an answer to this question because I know it. I was standing outside your window that night for hours, almost whole night, when Ila had confessed her feelings for me. I looked at your face and could read in your eyes something that no one could. I could see you awake whole night, restless, disturbed and upset. I wanted to console you, but you never came near the window and I was too scared to call out your name as it would have drawn attention of others,” he said. “Good Gracious! No wonder, Mr. Chatterji was telling papa that one night he had seen some one standing outside my window, but my father just laughed off thinking he must be drunk that night,” she said. Her body was shivering, and she had tears in her eyes. She asked him innocently, “Why do we fall in love?” He replied, “We don’t fall in love. We rise in love together. This is the most pleasing experience one can have. You feel elevated in spirits, hope, aspiration, desire and anticipation. It’s a blissful emotion. Only jammy souls experience true love. You are my first thought in the morning and last thought before I fall asleep.” Before she could savour the most prized moment of her life, they heard the footsteps approaching towards terrace. They looked at each-other, exchanged a smile and before parting he said, “I promise we would sit under a tree, holding each-other’s hands, dipping deep into the love drops, relishing the chirping of the birds and Gulmohar’s fragrance on the bank of river. I promised you a dream date when I return Barbie.” The sudden realization of love from the one you have fallen for, leaves you startled and happy at the same time. The same happened with Til when Varun, the one she thought had broken her heart, confessed that he loved her and that too as his Barbie Doll. With those words persisting in her memory, she had relived the most celebrated moments of her life again and again. This is the actual beauty of teenage love. Varun was brought back from his reverie with the pat on his back. “Til’s prayer meeting is over. It’s time for us to leave,” said Ila. “Poor Til, God knows for whom she had been waiting. She said he had promised they would sit under a tree, holding each-other’s hands, dipping deep into the love drops, relishing the chirping of the birds and Gulmohar’s fragrance. Someone had promised her a dream date, I believe. 103

But she never revealed his name,” Ila continued. “By the way, I know the occasion is unpleasant, but I am glad to see you after 25 years. Where had you been all this while?” Varun couldn’t hear any of her questions as he kept on hammering in his mind… I Love You Barbie Doll. Meena Mishra 104

HER SECRET LOVER She is in a state of trance, After ages she got a chance. To get implicated in saccharine romance, Untrod dexterity she would enhance. She was constantly conscious of poetic justice, But never thought an expert would be an apprentice. In the field of love and joy, She never reflected to enjoy. The infirmity of tag-rag people, That always dragged them towards trouble. It was never her cup of tea, She was deprived of this property. Entered in her life the Cupid’s messenger, Rising to the occasion vehemently. With a light knock at the door of her heart, He tiptoed with a leap in the dark. He was a dark horse, God of love. There was no time to chew the cud. Deep inside there was a soft bud, Warning her against the snag unheard. 105

Turning a deaf ear towards the alarm, All set was she to chance one’s arm. Let me give it a try. What’s the harm? Drowning her fear, she moved towards the charm. The marked man turned into manna from heaven, The pleasure and glee transcended her to cloud seven. She thanked her stars for stirring up a hornet’s nest, Without taking risk she wouldn’t have experienced that zest. But lo! They say he had left for Heavenly Abode. It has been a long time he was on board. But should it matter? Resurfaces he from the lake of frozen memory. He was, he is and will always remain. The elusive forever, her secret love. Meena Mishra 106

अतुल्य उपहार मकसी ने मदया था मुझे उपहार, मुझ पर मकया था बड़ा उपकार, मुझको तेरा सामनध्य ममला, ऐ मेरे हमराही! लोग कहंे पहेली है तू, उनको मैं कै से बताऊँा ?? मैंने तुमसे की जो बातें, उनको मंै कै से बताऊाँ ?? मैं क्यँाू कहँा अके ली हाँ मैं?? तू जो है अब मेरे संोग। मैं क्यँूा कहँा अपोंग हाँ मंै?? तू जो है अब मेरे अोंग।। सोई थी मैं डर कर कभी, मकसी ने मुझे न जगाया। तूने जो दी आवाज तो, पैरोों मंे मथरकन को पाया।। कोयल की कू क सुन कर उठी, मैं लेने लगी अोंगड़ाई। तूफान अब थमने लगा, उदासी ने ली अब मवदाई।। मीना तमश्रा 107