51
52
53 “Love what you do. Amidst the weight within, Dale news articles, and most of all, getting to managed to take home three trophies her feet once again in the enormous alley. Buwelo and step onto the podium. These were It was something unbelievable for her— Although she left Taiwan already, the the national athlete’s first ever victories truly a game changer. internationally—the best experience she unexpected burnout didn’t leave Dale ever had in her bowling career by far. The bowler discovered her way to yet. She found herself struggling to carry “Malaking achievement ‘yun sa’kin kasi triumph from the immense load she had to the load on another match, lacking the despite na sobrang down ko that time, bring along. Having her coach and family strength to still aim for gold. Entering I still managed to play above my average,” served as Dale’s motivation to still power the arena to compete in the Philippine she proudly conveyed. through every game, “Sila ‘yung nandun International Open 2018, “Sobrang up at sumusuporta sa’kin...araw-araw.” And and down ‘yung [state] ko nu’n,” the After a year at the same tournament, above all else, “Tinutulungan ko (rin) bowler expressed, “‘Yun ‘yung time na Dale did not settle on letting her country ‘yung sarili ko para hindi ako sumuko sinabi ko talaga sa coach ko na...hindi ko go down the gutter. She had finally ng basta-basta, kasi syempre nandito na kaya.” claimed the highest title after taking na ako eh, nasa national team na ako. down the pins with strikes, becoming Ngayon pa ba ako susuko?” she stressed But this time around, something was champion of the Philippine International into a remark. different from how it was similar from the Open 2019 Youth Girls Division. Gaining previous league. “Nasa puso ko pa rin na, the pleasure of being interviewed by ‘kakayanin ko kasi kinaya ng iba’,” was journalists, having her name featured on the motivation that helped her disrupt everything behind and make the ball’s immense load drive itself into a strike. Until now, she always reminds herself, “Dapat gawin mo ‘yung best mo kasi Philippines ‘yung nakalagay sa likod mo, hindi lang naman Dale Lazo.”
54 Strike! Rising from the grounds, she resembled how a defeat can be a win, too. “Hindi sa lahat ng oras mananalo, minsan may pagkakamali (rin) tayong magagawa, and it’s natural.” The tussles stumbled upon did more than just weaken the national athlete, but taught her more about the battle. Even though the country’s emblem has added weight for her to carry on, it was also what she had held to be indestructible in her own ball track. She emphasized, “‘Yun ‘yung nag-motivate sa’kin na pag-igihan ko kasi Pilipinas ‘yung nirerepresenta ko. At ako ‘yung ipinadala ng Pilipinas.” To be clothed with a Philippine flag enclosed her with pride. Bringing much dedication, Dale made sure that the country won’t go home without earning something. “Palagi kong isinasaisip na I’ll do my best (in) every frame. Every throw ko ng bola, i-de- dedicate ko sa Pilipinas.” Being in the monumental bowling arenas for nearly a decade, Dale didn’t just play her hardest fighting for her country. “Tinuruan [ako] ng bowling kung paano makisama, paano lalaban sa mga problema, kung paano mo ipagtatanggol ‘yung sarili mo,” This, from a little girl to a grown woman, became her drive to also learn the art of living above anything else. Back then, everything seemed to be going into the gutter for Dale. Even when the load has held firm, the grip has clenched perfectly, and everything else she needed was already in the alley. There was only one thing missing— which she then found clasped in her own hands. “Love what you do,” she fiercely stated, “Marami kang matututunan kung mamahalin mo ‘yung isang bagay.”
55 *** “Alam ko sa sarili kong mahina ako, pero bowling ‘yung nakapagpalakas sa akin,” Dale spoke, ending her note. For all the sweat that broke down, the tears that streamed off, and the eyes that turned away, it was what made one stand steady and staunch on its ground. In the vastness of reality, the greater the weight gets, the stronger the bearer becomes— and it’s something you would never never know unless you have endured it deep down. *Editor’s Note: We thank Danielle Denise “Dale” Lazo for her valuable participation. “Alam ko sa sarili kong mahina ako, pero bowling ‘yung nakapag- palakas sa Akin.
D I A M O N D S D I A M O N D S
DIAMONDS 57 Pitakang pabigat Mga salita ni Elaine Samantha Olona Dibuho ni Nikki Alexis Antonio Hawak ng mga numero sa kapirasong papel ang kapalaran ng mga bilihin sa pamilihan. Ngunit para sa ibang tao, maaaring magsilbing rason ito upang panatilihing sarado ang mga pitaka. Sa bulsa, sa bag, sa kamay, o kung saan man nakalagay ang salapi, doon na ito mamamalagi upang hindi mahuli sa bitag ng bilihin.
58 DIAMONDS KUNG NAKARARAMDAM ANG iba Ayon kay Verde at Agustin, samu’t sari Ito man ang nagiging sitwasyon, ng matinding pagsisisi matapos bumili ang mga dahilan kung bakit nagiging hindi pa rin maiiwasan na magkaroon ng kanilang mga kagustuhan, may ilan kuripot ang isang tao. Para sa kanila, ang ng panghihinayang sa ganitong naman na may tali ang perang dala-dala mga karanasan sa buhay ang naghuhulma klaseng pamumuhay. Kahit kadalasang na tila saranggolang kailangang tama ang sa pamamaraan ng pamumuhay. Maging maliwanag ang loob ng tindahan, timpla ng hangin bago pakawalan. positibo man o negatibo, may epekto pa mayroon pa ring mga madidilim na sulok rin ito sa magiging desisyon kung paano na sumasalamin sa mga negatibong Ilang beses umiikot ang mga tanong sa napiling gastusin ang pera. “Ang pag-iisip aspeto ng pagiging kuripot. “Maraming isipan bago umabot sa huling desisyon. o mindset ng kuripot ay hindi pinupulot (lumalampas na pagkakataon) kasi gusto Bibigay na lang ba sa pagnanais o aalis ang pera. Para kumita ka ay kailangang mong magtipid,” wika ni Ann Margarette sa tindahan nang walang bawas sa mamuhunan ng dugo at pawis. Mahirap Foronda (STM113). salaping hindi mapalaya? kumita ng pera kaya dapat matalino, masinop, at maingat ang paggamit nito,” Hindi lang panghihinayang ang bigat “Magkano po?” pahayag ni Melanie Reyes, isang guro ng na bitbit sa likod ng titulong kuripot. Sa Tila nang-aakit ang mga produkto DLSU-D Senior High School. madidilim na sulok ng tindahan, mayroon ding mga nararanasang problema ang mula sa banggera ng tindahan. Hindi na Ang bigat ng pitaka ang nagsisilbing mga ito; ilan na rito ang pang-aasar ng namalayan ang pagbilis ng mga yapak angkla na hindi nagpapatangay sa agos mga tao sa kanilang paligid at ang pag- kasabay ng paghigpit ng hawak sa ng tubig. Ganito ang pamumuhay ni iwas sa tukso ng mga materyal na bagay. pitaka—mukhang nahuli na ng bitag ng Agustin na ipinaliwanag ang pinagdaanan mga paninda. Bumibigat ang bulsa na niyang mga sitwasyon na nagsilbing Ito ang binigyang-diin ni Verde para bang umaangal sa nakakuha ng tanda na ibahin ang kanyang paraan sa kanyang pahayag at sinabing, atensyon, kahit sapat pa ang nilalaman sa paggastos. “[I] used to spend a lot of “[H]alimbawa, gagala tapos [‘yung mga nito upang maiuwi ang panindang my money on useless stuff before and kaibigan mo] bibili ng mamahaling nagniningning tulad ng mga barya sa I experienced having no money during pagkain, (tapos) ikaw mas pipiliin mong ilalim ng bumbilya. Ganito ang nagiging important times,” kanyang ipinagtapat. bumili ng kahit mura na lang na pagkain.” paulit-ulit na daloy ng buhay ng mga Hindi nagpapabitag sa angking ningning kuripot. Pahayag ni Novemie Verde “Sige, babalikan ko na lang.” ng mga bilihin, pinipili niya pa rin ang (STM23) na itinuturing ang sarili bilang isa Nang malihis na ang paningin mula alternatibong mas magpapagaan ng sa mga ito, “Kahit may pera, mas pinipili kanyang kalooban ngunit hindi sa [ng mga kuripot] ang hindi gumastos.” sa kaharap na nang-aakit, dahan- kanyang pitaka. dahang aatras mula sa mahigpit na Kadalasang nakikilala ang mga kuripot kapit ng pagnanais na maangkin ito. Dito sa kanilang mga paraan sa pagtitipid magsisimula ang walang katapusang ng pera. Posibleng nakikitang paikot- siklo ng mga posibilidad, ngunit ang kapit ikot sa mga pamilihan at pupulot ng ng saradong pitaka pa rin ang nananaig. produkto upang bitawan lamang ito sa Umiiling sa mga ideya na may kinalaman loob ng walong segundo. “[Stingy people] sa pagbitaw ng kamay sa salapi, pipiliin cheap out on the stuff that they want to pa rin talikuran ang liwanag na unti-unti get and some don’t even buy anything nang nakasisilaw. that they want,” saad ni Simon Agustin (ICT21) na inilalarawan ang sarili bilang isang kuripot.
DIAMONDS 59 “Wala na ba’ng tawad?” “Masaya at maginhawa Aatras, aabante, aatras, aabante ang buhay ko dahil muli. Mahigpit ang silo ng panindang ang lahat ay maayos, nakakuha ng interes ngunit mas mahigpit nakaplano hanggang sa ang tangan sa perang hawak ng kamay. hinaharap, nakahanda sa Nang makahakbang na paalis, tila mas lahat ng oras. nararamdaman ang bigat sa araw-araw na pakikibakang nararanasan. “Ay ‘wag na lang.” *** Sa pagsimula ng bawat araw at Sa paglubog ng araw, magsasara na May sari-saring paraan sa pagtanaw ng ang tindahan. Unti-unti nang magdidilim iba’t ibang aspeto ng buhay—maaaring pagbukas ng iba’t ibang tindahan, nasa ang mga pasilyo at makahihinga na ang negatibo sa iba ay positibo naman indibidwal pa rin ang desisyon kung nang malalim sa oras na lumisan na sa para sa karamihan. Hindi matunton ang papaano gagastusin ang perang hindi pamilihan. Malayo na sa mapang-asar pinagmulan ng mga bulong sa madilim mabitawan mula sa mahigpit na yakap ng na bulong ng mga mapanuksong bilihin, na mga sulok ng tindahan ngunit kaya pitaka. Paliwanag ni Foronda, posibleng tuluyan nang nawala ang higpit ng kapit pang bigyang liwanag ang negatibong magkaroon ito ng parehong negatibo at sa pitaka kalakip ang hindi maiwasang pag-iisip ukol sa pagiging kuripot. positibong mga epekto kung ipananatili bigat nito. Para sa mga tinaguriang “[D]apat burahin ang pangit na pagbibigay- ang ganitong estilo ng pamumuhay. May kuripot, hindi maituturing na pabigat ang kahulugan sa pagiging kuripot. [M]asaya balanse sa pagitan ng liwanag at dilim, ganitong uri ng pamumuhay, ngunit isang at maginhawa ang buhay [ko] dahil ang masama at mabuti, pati na rin sa positibo paalala upang hindi madala sa malakas lahat ay maayos, nakaplano hanggang sa at negatibo, at hindi nahihiwalay ang na tukso ng komersyalismo. hinaharap, nakahanda sa lahat ng oras,” pagiging kuripot sa ganitong prinsipyo. pahayag ni Reyes. “Ang mairerekomenda ko ay ang Maaaring nakarinig na ng mga bulong magtipid (at) mag-isip (nang) mabuti sa tindahan na tila ba lumalakas sa bawat bago gumastos, lalo na ‘pag malaking yapak at hakbang. Sa bawat salitang pera (ang) nakasalalay,” saad ni Verde. binibitawan, nagbibigay ito ng kadiliman Kinakailangan umanong ugaliin ang sa pagiging kuripot. Ayon naman kay tamang disiplina sa paggastos nang Verde, walang kahihiyan na kaakibat ang maiwasan ang pagsisisi kapag huli na pagiging kuripot. “‘[P]ag nasabihan akong ang lahat. kuripot, ‘di naman ako magagalit o maiinis kasi aminado naman akong ‘kuripot’ ako. Mas okay na rin sa’kin masabihan na kuripot kaysa maubusan ng pera,” wika niya. Ganito rin ang ipinahayag ni Agustin na sinasabing hangga’t nasa mabuting ekonomikal na kinalalagyan ang tao, walang negatibong konotasyon ang pagiging kuripot. Kinokonsidera pa rin ang estilo ng pamumuhay sa kung papaano maluwag na pakakawalan ang perang malimit mamahay sa pitaka.
60 DIAMONDS Once the pigments smear Words by Jedd Rudolf Caldo Art by Evalene Vianca De Jesus Throughout generations, pristine minds can bleed through a jet-black ink of outlooks highlighting one sex over another. Behind the bursts of paint, women are footing their ground in this arena. These lionhearted heroines yearn for a fairground in this tar-like playground. Time runs out and a sudden realization hits— is there any opponent at all? SPLATTERS, PUDDLES, AND streaks of the blueprint. Francyn Agatha Bayudan the blueprint behind the movement shows ink stick to the pure intentions of feminism, (STM15) believes that, “[B]eing a feminist the path towards clarity and closure. struggling to deliver a message amid the is [accepting] that not only women, but ever-growing lies linked to it. “Feminism, every gender, [even] men, deserves Stains of misunderstanding for me, is a political movement fighting equal rights.” With each stroke of goodwill is a casted for the equality of men and women. [However], as time evolved, it is no longer As the walls and boundaries began shadow of chaos. Misconceptions such limited to that. It is [aiming] for equality to break beyond their plans, the female as misogyny and false standards stain the of all [genders],” former Humanities and trailblazers held their heads up high. reputable canvas. Sophia Nicole Miranda Social Sciences faculty Mikaela Yap said “(Feminists) [give] voices to [silenced] (HMS22) shared an encounter with a as she explained feminism’s immense people who [are] victims of domestic friend who always made misogynistic growth over time. violence...and so much more regardless jokes in bad taste. “[H]e would bring up of [their] gender,” Leah Denise Acosta how [unimportant] feminism was and Inking the blueprint (STM17) added. how he was [not fond of feminism],” she Behind feminism’s impactful and said. Being constrained in a bordered As time progresses, a lot of changes canvas, women may be unable to fully ambitious plans, pioneers have a may happen far from the platform’s manifest the abilities they are capable concrete blueprint that holds their platform blueprint. Though some of the tallest of. Miranda disclosed that after sharing together. Hatred towards other genders buildings seem untouchable, a mission a post about the red-tagging of female is not one of these sketches that pass with true intentions has a solid foundation activists, comments such as “Edi pwede for triumph. It may be challenging to set aside the misconceptions, but reminiscing
DIAMONDS 61 “An ounce of hope remains, hoping that the false colors fade in time. ko siya suntukin, tutal gusto niya naman Plodding in a world where the truth is also uses her platform to spread solidarity ng equality,” began to appear underneath. easily stained, surrounding oneself with amongst great women. She conveyed, “Why is it that when [talking] about cultured friends might be the move to “Usually, the comment section of eye- feminism, the first thing that people make when seeking the truth. “I believe opening posts pertaining to situations is think of is immediately using violence that my friends are knowledgeable what we need to be aware of.” against women as a form of equality?” enough about the topic of feminism to she expressed. think otherwise (about) what it really No matter how big or small one’s platform means,” Bayudan imparted. may be, a message full of conviction Peeking into the white sheets are can do wonders. The dissemination blotches of ink stains that envelop its There are a lot of things that can and correction of misconceptions may perimeter. A glistening facade that stands happen in a blink of an eye that we never accelerate by taking advantage of social for equity is now dimmed by a fabrication get to see. Trusting faded palettes media. The voices transcend beyond of half-truths and even lies. Setting aside instead of the ones that show their real one’s hearing, clearing off the falsity one the disappointment within, feminists intentions may hinder someone in the word at a time. proceed with their journey, carrying hope long run. Losing hope will let the lies and conviction that the day will come bleed through even further, but there *** when most people will finally understand. are always those who understand and With the inks splattered across the An output in a short amount of time is an show the path towards the missing ink. arena, it might be hard to find the absolutely impeccable feeling—and can benevolence of feminism. An ounce sometimes be addicting. Using the splattered platform of hope remains, hoping that the false Giving insights to the misunderstandings colors fade in time. “Open your minds and Catching the disappearing ink look at the right sources for the correct As one’s lens fail to see the truth, buried in deceptive colors is something information regarding feminism,” Yap that can be done on a centerstage, like advises the next generation. the other half perceives the world in a social media. Miranda shared that she The heroine trudges her own journey, different light. The scattered lies hidden in is not ashamed of using her platform to disregarding the ink stains, she leaves these splashes may be hard to detect, but voice out her opinions and stand for the footprints that show the path for the next not everyone fails to educate themselves. truth. “I want to spread awareness and generation. It may be easy to be blinded Though feminism may be an uneasy topic hopefully educate others who are ignorant by the tints of falsehood, but finding the for some, enlightening oneself and fully about issues like this,” she discussed. vibrant colors may show you the veracity understanding its purpose before coming buried underneath. up with a conclusion may prevent the A sense of unanimity arises as to the indign hate thrown towards feminism. message echoes and surrounds the arena. Charizza Joy Acosta (STM18)
62 DIAMONDS Beneath victories: Who's the impostor? Words by Ma. Ladeevie Tamonan Art by Rania Marie Pucan Having the gift of exceptional brilliance, numerous awards, and excellent abilities in various fields, people often develop admiration for student achievers. Marked with fascination, they could unconsciously perceive successful people as something perfectly-crafted and transcendental. Little did they know, beneath their luminous facades lie the true cracks of a human—doubts and insecurities brought by five hidden faces. HUMANS, AS SUCCESSFUL as they are, could not help but play the strings of negativity. According to DLSU-D Junior High School faculty Patricia Ann Ocampo, “Most of the time, [achievers] do not appreciate what [they] are achieving at the moment. We might overlook what we are achieving because minsan, iniisip natin na hindi natin ito deserve.” She also said that these negativities and doubts that people encounter are also associated with a phenomenon called Impostor Syndrome, which has five imminent visages. THE PERFECTIONIST Doing everything with utmost excellence could be the most important task for a Perfectionist. They often hoard a herd of high expectations. They pour their efforts out—aiming for the best—for flawless outcomes. “A perfectionist person is (someone) who is afraid to fail and is eager to have a perfect way of living,” Aleeza Mari Manuel (STM25) said. People, who are convinced that perfection is tantamount to success, always feel the unwanted embrace of doubts whenever they commit even the smallest of mistakes. “Sobrang taas ng standards ko sa sarili ko and when I fail, even a little mistake, nag-be-breakdown na agad ako kasi na-fi-feel ko na I’m a failure,” Manuel stated as she reminisced her struggles as a Perfectionist. Perfectionists are believed to frequently combat doubts because satisfaction doesn’t come often and naturally to them. In this life, one might not always have perfect scores and gold medals; that’s why being a perfectionist could be extremely hard. THE NATURAL GENIUS It is only first-try achievements that could truly measure one’s success for the Natural Genius. “‘(Y)ung feeling na mag-succeed ka (on) the first [try], it feels different,” Hazel Reyes (ABM24) commented. Failing to attain victory on first attempt could provoke their doubts, and might make hearing the symphony of satisfaction nothing but a far-fetched fantasy. Somehow, Natural Geniuses and Perfectionists are almost the same. As stated by Ocampo, both classifications set immensely high standards, it is just that Natural Geniuses find delight in getting success at a quicker pace. “(K)asi feeling ko kapag (hindi) ko nakuha agad ‘yung lesson, mahuhuli ako. (O)ccasionally, I (doubt) if I’m actually smart enough,” Reyes added as she expressed her experiences on being a Natural Genius.
DIAMONDS 63 THE SOLOIST Asking and getting help is something a Soloist impostor’s last resort. “‘Pag alam ko na kaya ko, why would I ask for help? I’m super thankful for all the help pero iba kasi ‘yung satisfaction na you did it all by yourself,” Janina Sunga (HMS21) said as she was narrating her tales and struggles on being a Soloist. The greatest ally of a Soloist is solitude, that’s why whenever they feel the need to ask for help, insecurities get the best of them—questioning their capabilities and victories. “Parang nanghihina ako (gano’n). Like aawayin ko ‘yung self ko (and I will say), (I) should know this and dapat kaya mo na ‘yan,” Sunga mentioned. A call for help could mean good for someone, but in the perspective of Soloists, it is a sign that they are lacking. THE SUPERHERO We peg heroes as someone who always feels the urge to save and bring honor to everyone. A superhero often conceals their insecurities behind a deceptive façade made of hard work. “Pi-nu-push ko ‘yung sarili ko na maging magaling sa mga bagay na necessary sa buhay ko,” Joshua Samartino (STM23), a consistent honor student and an achiever stated. “Gusto ko kasi ako ‘yung taong may napapatunayan.” Superheroes are afraid to be labeled as someone inferior, that’s why even with the pain brought by bruises, working hard to be good in all aspects of life is their utmost priority. “(Siguro) nag-do-doubt ako sa sarili ko kapag hindi ako magaling sa isang bagay and (also) I feel down,” Samartino admitted. Because of the lingering doubts daunting the achievers, their confidence inevitably subverts. Sometimes, they even end up participating in a competition that only exists in their minds because they compare themselves to others. It’s believed that trying to measure up to other’s success always fuels their will to work harder. To topple the lingering doubts, they must be always at their best in all fields. THE EXPERT This concealed visage of achievers always find delight in immersing themselves in preparation to prevent unwarranted disappointments. “Alam ko na (kailangan) ko munang pag-aralan (nang) mabuti ang bawat task o assessment para magawa ko nang tama,” Juliana Marcial (ABM21) said as she considers herself as an Expert. They are always filled with apprehension that’s why they appease themselves by polishing everything first. The Experts might not have the ability to turn their backs to other people’s opinions. Their hearts can be filled with worries about how other eyes perceive them. “Natatakot lang ako na isipin ng mga tao na wala akong alam,” Marcial confessed. The fear Experts feel towards the malevolent judgements could be too consuming—to the point that they would push themselves into their limits just to evade negative comments. *** The five faces of Impostor Syndrome have proven that beneath the golden medals and awards are humans who also have their own moments of insecurities. As people of excellence struggle on numerous tempests of life, they hold on to the glistening thought that someday, every doubt will deliver them to the brighter side. “The fact that I have doubts, it only means I should do better. I use my doubts as motivation,” Sunga expressed how achievements can spring to life because of Impostor Syndrome. With this, we can say that there will always be blessings even in the face of adversaries.
64 DIAMONDS Ang makabagong Maria Clara Mga salita ni Andrea Kristine Lazaro Dibuho ni Leica Gwyneth Mendoza Kisapmata kung aakalain ang bilis ng pagbabago ng mundo. Mula sa makabagong teknolohiya hanggang sa paraan ng pananamit ng tao, sumasabay ang oras ng lahat sa pagiging moderno. Kung iisipin, malayo at malaki ang kaibahan ng kasuotan ni Crisostomo Ibarra at Maria Clara sa panahong kasalukuyan. Gayunpaman, hindi perpekto ang ikot ng mundo at may pangambang hatid ang modernisasyon sa tao, partikular sa kababaihan—mga karanasang nagdudulot ng takot at pagkabahala. Bumubulong na lansangan “Kakitiran ng Ayon sa pag-aaral na isinagawa ng Plan International, lumalabas na 68 Isa sa sensitibong usapin ngayon ang isipan at bugso porsyento ng kababaihan sa Pilipinas karahasan, pang-aabuso, at pambabastos na nasa edad 15-24 ang nakararanas na nararanasan ng kababaihan na ng damdaming ng pambabastos online. Tinutukoy dito kalimitang nangyayari sa lansangan. na ang pananamit at paglalagay ng Kahit sa panahon noon, kababaihan ang hindi mapigilan kolorete sa mukha ang dahilan kung bakit tampulan ng mga paninisi mula sa mga mayroong pambabastos sa kababaihan. lalaki. Magpahanggang ngayon, mga ng mga salot babae pa rin at ang paraan ng pananamit Marami na ang mukha sa likod ng nila ang tinuturong dahilan kung bakit sa lipunan mga pambabastos sa social media. nangyayari ang mga uri ng karahasan. “Komportable [ako] sa pag-post ng ang tanging sarili ko sa damit na ‘revealing’ dahil Marami sa kababaihan ang takot account ko ‘yun. (Pero) hindi maiiwasan ibahagi ang kanilang karanasan kasagutan. na makatanggap ng (malalaswang) pagkat may takot na idinulot ang mga komentong mahirap (matanggap) dahil pangyayaring ito sa gitna ng daan. Tulad Ibang mukha ng peligro sobrang (nakakabastos),” paliwanag na lamang ni May*, “[K]apag bumibili ako Sa social media, kung saan malayang ni Joy*. sa tindahan, [simpleng] shorts at t-shirt ang suot ko (pero) hindi ko inaakalang nagagawa at nasusuot ng bawat isa Bihis ng bagong mundo may magsasabi pa rin ng ‘Single ka?’ at ang nais nila, tila hindi pa rin nakatakas Nakaukit sa kasaysayan na halos minsan may sumisipol pa.” Hindi lang ang mga babae sa mga kwento ng nakapagdulot ng bahala ang ganitong karahasan at pambabastos. Ang dapat walang pagkakakilanlan ang kababaihan akto sa mga biktima ngunit kasamaan sanang ligtas na espasyo para sa sa lipunan. Sa panahon ni Maria Clara, rin kalooban. “Para bang nakapanliliit ng bawat isa ay napupuno lamang ng hindi walang karapatang pumili ng sariling sarili,” banggit pa niya. magagandang pangyayari. paraan ng kasuotan ang mga babae dahil iisa lamang ang estilo ng pananamit Binahagi rin ni Lili* ang pagkakataon nila. Ngunit ngayong makabago na ang kung saan nakaramdam siya ng takot mundo, nagbago na rin ang basehan ng at kaba nang minsang pauwi siya sa pagiging Pilipina. kanyang tahanan. “Hindi ko namalayan kung saan nagmula ‘yung lalaki at nagulat Maluwag na nakapipili ng paraan na lang ako nang biglang bumulong ng ‘Hi ng pananamit ang kababaihan sa miss’, at may iba pang sinabi na hindi ko kasalukuyan. Tulad na lamang ni Bryah na matandaan,” kwento niya. Dagdag pa Azucena (TVL22) na ibinabatay ang niya na gulong-gulo ang kanyang isipan kasuotan niya sa kanyang nararamdaman nang mangyari iyon at napaisip din siya sa bawat araw, “[D]ahil paraan ko (ang sa maaari pang mangyari sa kanya pananamit) upang (maipahayag) ko kung hindi siya nakaalis sa ganoong kung [sino] ako at nakatutulong ang klaseng sitwasyon. (ganitong pag-iisip) para (tumaas) ang (kumpiyansa) ko sa sarili,” aniya.
DIAMONDS 65 Para naman kay Bernadette Lucero kagustuhan. Saad niya, “[R]espeto (ang magpahanggang ngayon. Kaya’t pangaral (HMS23), tama lamang na sumunod ang dapat ibigay) sa mga babae [kahit ano pa] ni Sean sa kapwa niya kalalakihan, mga kababaihan sa karapatan nilang ang klase ng pananamit nila. Pero dapat “[P]inag-aral ka ng magulang mo sa makapili ng damit na nais nilang suotin. ilugar din ang damit sa tamang aspeto paaralan upang maging (edukado) at “[K]ung saang [klase ng pananamit] para makaiwas [sa pambabastos].” gumawa ng tama, (kaya) hindi (ka dapat) sasaya ang puso (mo), dapat mo itong Bagama’t iginiit niya na dapat respetuhin mambastos ng babae.” sundin,” payo pa niya. Nagbago na ang ang kababaihan, para sa kanya, hindi pa lipunan at ang bihis nito kaya’t oras na rin rin talaga maiiwasan na mapatingin sa Depensa ng dalagang Pilipina upang kilalanin ang malayang pananamit babae lalo kapag iba sa pangkaraniwan Saksi ang oras at nakaukit sa na karapatan ng kababaihan. ang paraan ng pananamit nito. kasaysayan ang hirap na dinanas ng mga Pulso ng dalawang panig Sa modernong mundo, pantay na ang kababaihan noon pa man. Walang mali Tanyag sa buong mundo ang pagiging boses ng babae at lalaki. Kung kaya’t sa pakikipaglaban ng mga babae para sa matibay ang paninindigan ni Lucero na kanilang karapatan. Kung mababa noon magalang at marespeto ng mga Pilipino. hindi kailangang baguhin ng kababaihan sa lipunan ang boses at katayuan ng Gayundin ang karakter ni Crisostomo ang kanilang kasuotan para sa lipunan kababaihan, nagsasalita na at lumalaban Ibarra na kilala bilang isang binatang at sa mata ng kalalakihan dahil hindi ang mga Pilipina sa kasalukuyan. makisig at maginoo lalo sa mga dalaga. sila nagdamit para sa kanila. “[Kapag Samantalang si Maria Clara naman ang nakabihis ako], sarili ko (lamang) ang Sa mga nakatatakot na karanasang karakter na mahinhin at walang kibo dahil pinaghahandaan at pinagpapakitaan dulot ng mga kalalakihan, pareho sa naihulmang pamantayan ng lipunan. ko at wala nang iba pa,” pagsang-ayon lamang ang nakikitang dahilan ng ni Azucena. kababaihan. Tinukoy ni Katie* na ang Madalas isinisisi ng kalalakihan sa kakulangan ng magandang asal ang kababaihan ang dahilan kung bakit sila Itinuturing na likas ang pagiging pangunahing problema sa mga ito. nababastos. Ngunit batid ni Sean* na magalang ng mga binatang Pilipino “Para (bang) hindi sila napatnubayan sa walang tama o mali sa pananamit ng mga pagkakaroon ng maayos na ugali (at) babae at nakadepende ito lagi sa kanilang wala silang kinatatakutan kaya nagagawa nilang mambastos.” Saad ni Lucero, “Wala sa pananamit ng [babae] (ang dahilan kung bakit sila) nababastos (kundi sa) mga taong may maruming isipan at hindi kayang pigilan ang sarili.” Pagkat kakulangan sa kaalaman ang tinuturong dahilan, kung matuturuan ang kalalakihan, baka magkaroon ng pag-asa sa kaayusan ng lipunan. *** Sa lahat ng pangyayari, walang pananagutan ang mga babae at nararapat lamang ipagpatuloy ang pakikipaglaban para sa patas na karapatan at estado sa lipunan. Kung ang pananamit ng mahabang bestida at nakatakip na bawat parte ng katawan ng kababaihan ang siya pa ring konsepto ng dalagang karespe-respeto, marahil marami na ang nakalimot at hindi maalam sa kwento ni Maria Clara. Mula sa panahon ng Kastila, isa lamang ang sinasabi sa nobela—hindi damit ang sukatan upang mapagsamantalahan. Kakitiran ng isipan at bugso ng damdaming hindi mapigilan ng mga salot sa lipunan ang tanging kasagutan. *Editor’s Note: Ikinubli ang mga pagkakakilanlan sa pamamagitan ng pseudonyms.
66 DIAMONDS Waring bituin, sa dulaan nagniningning Mga salita ni Mary Abigail Manalo Mga litrato ni Von Daniel Caparas, Direksyon ni Ollie Alexandra Lanzar Tahimik ang madlang nagtipon sa loob ng malaking bulwagan, nanginginig hindi lamang dahil sa lamig kundi na rin sa pagkasabik para sa isang pagtatanghal. Nakatutok ang maliliwanag na ilaw sa nag-iisang artistang nakatayo sa harap ng daan-daang tagapanood. Taimtim na naghihintay ang lahat sa mga susunod na linya na dalubhasang bibigkasin ng artistang—lingid sa kanilang kaalaman—puno ng kabuwayan at pangamba.
DIAMONDS 67 TILA MABAGSIK ANG industriya ng “Ngunit sa mga matang nakatutok lamang sa dulaan; maselan sa pagpili mula sa sari- isang tanghalan, kaya’t marahil nga na saring koleksyon ng mga talento. Labis dulo ng mga karaniwan lang ang pagkakaroon ng mga ang mga nagnanasang maging parte makulimlim at pagdududa sa ganitong eksena. Nang ng sining na ito at para sa nakararami, nakaliligaw na magbalik-tanaw siya sa unang panahon nagiging hadlang nito ang pagdududa sa karanasan, tila ng pagiging isang aktor, kanyang sariling kakayahan at halaga. Isa na rito nagpupumiglas ibinahagi ang mga naging karanasan si Von Daniel Caparas (HMS22), isang siya mula sa bilang mahiyaing bata—isa sa mga aktor ng teatrong musikal na lubhang malalakas kaugalian na umambag din sa kakulangan naiintindihan ang pag-aalinlangang iyon. na kapit ng ng kumpiyansa. pagdududa. Pambungad na yugto “Every time na hindi [by] group ‘yung Malaking karangalan ang makibahagi workshops, lumalabas ako ng room. I would literally do anything para lang sa teatro, lalo na para sa isang bata. ma-avoid sila,” sabi ni Von. Sa kabila ng Ibinahagi ni Von na ang suporta mula kanyang pagkamahiyain at pangamba sa pamilya at mga kaibigan ang naging sa sarili, hindi nito napigilan ang galak at pundasyon ng kanyang pagsali sa White pagmamahal na nadarama ni Von para sa Light, ang teatro ng simbahang kasapi teatro. Dagdag niya, “I knew deep down, siya. Bukod pa rito, tila nagliyab ang puso I really wanted the environment I was in. It niya sa pagkahumaling noong una niyang took some time...to gain that confidence.” makita ang entablado. “(The) stage really caught my attention. I told myself [that] I “[Theater] is beyond entertainment. This want to be there one day,” aniya. is something different—this is more than just me,” kanyang inilahad. Makabuluhan Sa mga panahon na nagsisimula pa ang naging papel ng teatro sa pagdiskubre lamang siya sa pagdudula, nagpumiglas ni Von kung paano bigyang saysay ang si Von na makalaya mula sa matinding sarili. Sa landas na ito, natutunan niyang kapit ng kanyang pag-aalinlangan isabuhay ang ilan sa mga paraan upang sa pansariling halaga. Nanlilisik ang taimtim na maunawaan ang sarili niyang kakayahan at kagalingan.
68 DIAMONDS Kasukdulan ng eksena ng mga karakter na binibigyang buhay niyang madilim na lugar ang pagkawala Tulad na lamang ng isang dula, sa pamamagitan ng dula at ang mga ng tiwala sa sarili, tulad na lamang ng pagsisikap niya upang makamit ito. “The isang bulwagang walang laman at puno mayroong kasukdulan at hidwaan ang show must go on. I used that [negative ng nakasusugat na emosyon. bawat paglalakbay. Mabato at marami critique] to really push [myself] further,” ang nakaharang sa landas patungo sa sabi niya. Sa paglalakbay na iyon, ang “I (realized) that in the process of looking pagtuklas ng tunay na halaga. Nakatatak pakikinig sa sariling hiyaw at hindi muna for worth—that I already have in myself— sa alaala ni Von ang mga negatibong sa panunuri ng iba ang isang paraan from other people…I was already losing puna, partikular na sa isang dulaan na maaari ring subukan ng iba pang myself,” ika ni Von tungkol sa pakiramdam kung saan sa madla ito nagmula. “Hindi nagnanais matukoy ang kanilang halaga. ng kawalan na kanyang naranasan noong nila alam na ako ‘yung katabi nila. Sabi “I gave my best. [And] they did not see malabo pa ang perspektibo niya sa nila, ‘Hindi bagay sa kanya ‘yung role’,” the sacrifices that I made to be able to pagkakaroon ng sariling saysay. Ngunit sa isinalaysay ni Von. perform in front of them.” dulo ng mga makulimlim at nakaliligaw na karanasan, tila nagpupumiglas siya mula Sa mga panahong nakatatanggap Pagsasara ng kurtina sa malalakas na kapit ng pagdududa. siya ng mga pintas ukol sa kanyang Sa pagpupursigi at pagpapatuloy pagtatanghal sa teatro, ibinahagi Para kay Von, hindi madali ang naging ni Von na hindi niya maiwasang sa pagganap sa mga musikal at iba paglalakbay tungo sa pagtuklas ng makaramdam ng lungkot. Para sa kanya, pang dula, kalaunang nahanap ni tunay na halaga. Subalit sa pagninilay at mahirap ding pabayaan na lamang Von ang kahalagahan niya. Bagama’t pagsasakripisyo ng ilang aspeto sa buhay, ang mga kritika dahil nagsisikap siya maraming nakasalamuha ang mga hindi lamang niya natutunang ikalugod na mabigyan ng kabuluhan ang mga aktor na maaaring umudyok o huminto ang mga taglay niyang kakayahan, ngunit tauhang ginampanan. sa kanilang pakikibahagi sa entablado, pati na rin ang mahalin ng lubusan ang “I take [acting] personally kasi I know that napagtanto ni Von na sa huli, siya pa rin kanyang sarili. “Masakit [dumistansya (this) character na pino-project ko…this ang dapat na tumuklas at kumilala sa mula sa mga negatibong aspeto ng is somebody else’s life,” aniya. Sa isang mga talentong nakaburol lamang sa ilalim buhay], pero darating ka sa point na you entabladong itinakda ng manuskrito, ng pangamba. have never loved yourself like you ever kanyang binibigyan ng buhay ang loved (before),” aniya. mga tauhan upang kumonekta sa mga “(Most) of the time, we put our worth manonood. “When you deeply understand in other people’s hands…they could not things, you tend to give it more value.” give it to us, they could only show it to us. We would feel worthless kasi hindi Bagama’t nalimbag ang mga nila pinapakita ‘yung worth na dapat pamimintas na iyon sa isipan ni Von, mayroon tayo,” inilahad ni Von. Bukod pinipilit niyang alalahanin ang importansya pa rito, nabanggit niya na itinuturing
DIAMONDS 69 “‘Yung worth na mayroon ka, it just keeps on growing. If you focus on growing your worth, everything will fall into place. *** Sa isang entabladong tinututukan ng malalaking ilaw, mayroong mga sulok na puspos sa kadiliman. Bagama’t nagkaroon ng mga hamon si Von, kalaunan niyang nakamit ang tunay na pagmamahal sa kanyang sarili. “It took some time [for me] to gain confidence. Sa pag-te-theater, mas nailabas ko ‘yung worth na mayroon ako,” ibinahagi niya. Sa suporta ng mga taong nalalapit sa puso niya at sa patuloy na pagtitiyaga, mas lumalim ang pagkakakilala ni Von sa sarili. Matapos ang lahat ng mga karanasan sa larangan ng teatro, taos- puso na ang pagmamahal na binibigay niya sa sariling pagkatao. Ngayon nama’y ibinabahagi ni Von ang mga payo at karunungan para sa mga taong nakararanas din ng mga pinagdaanan niya, kahit hindi man sila kabilang sa sining na iyon. “‘Yung worth na mayroon ka, it just keeps on growing,” aniya. “If you focus on [growing your worth], everything will fall into place.” *Editor’s Note: Aming pinasasalamatan si Von Daniel Caparas para sa kanyang mahalagang pakikibahagi.
S P A D E S S P A D E S
DIAMONDS 71 Nightly rituals: get it straight from the nocturnals Words by Stephanie Nicole Rabacal and Sophia Angela Silva Photos by Tricia Faye Velasco By the time the upper regions have turned into a lucid night sky, its ambience hugs your body, snicking the signal for the usual human bedtime. Long-running lights were then shut, the uninterrupted television was switched off, and the daylight noise got put out. But even with the cozy and mellow warmth rubbed to people, there are those whose eyes are wide open with wrecked body clocks—not ending their days even during nights.
72 DIAMONDS tt “NIGHT OWLS’’ ARE seen as people Set the clocks back Lynxion offered that sleeping an hour who are active and awake at late hours. As the clock continues to tick, do earlier than your usual sleep scheme You may have been one of them without helps one to get more rest. “[S]ince instantly noticing and found yourself open- you ever think of how its tiny arms tell sleeping habits can’t be changed that eyed in the dead of night, not knowing how you what to do and when to do it? quickly, (you) can take slow measures to to kill hours until slumber sinks in. Sure, it Nowadays, clocks can be adjusted [correct your body clocks],” he said. If all is as countless as the stars, but here are with ease with just a touch of one’s else fails, he suggested that turning off the nocturnals’ tips when the mind keeps fingertips. Unfortunately, the same gadgets and putting them away, so you you up like raptors of the night. can’t be said about body clocks. Even won’t succumb to reaching it in your bed, if some nocturnals wish to sleep could also be an effective remedy. “But even with early, their body clock has no intent to compromise. “[It is] my [accustomed] sleep schedule that affects it,” Lynxion* stated. the cozy and mellow warmth rubbed to people, there are those whose eyes are wide open with wrecked body clocks—not ending their days even during nights.
DIAMONDS 73 Dismiss those graveyard shifts at late nights and being mindful of the whole day,” Dela Cruz admitted. That While some become night owls time. She also advised, “Accomplish your being said, he recommended to cross out responsibilities in the morning and relax in overthinking from a late night to-do list to involuntarily, there are people who prefer the evening.” refrain yourself from being consumed by the nights more than the days. Just like thoughts at the brink of the night. Vien Carbonel (HMS13), they get to be Knock the lights out more productive “because evenings tend Others may think that the silence of the *** to have a quieter atmosphere which leads Being referred to as a night owl may to fewer distractions.” The small hours’ night is therapeutic and calming, however, sound quite interesting at first, but it can serenity eases them, allowing more room a few would disagree as it makes the also wreck your overall well-being as for mindfulness. deafening sounds of their thoughts each rest gets disturbed in the long run. reverberate around the room. John “I have seen its negative effects on my Being productive is likely to be a good Gabriel Dela Cruz (STM112) confessed daily routine and it’s already time to fix thing, not until one habitually does it in a that “[having] a lot of problems to fix and it,” Carbonel expressed. The cold breeze bad way. “[Staying up late] has affected think about” was the key reason as to why and calming aura may either get you my daily activities drastically,” Carbonel he has delayed sleeping schedule. fascinated, absorbed, or stirred at the admitted, whereas morning classes and a hours of the night, yet slow adjustments good appetite got harder to be attended As good as it is to think of possible on correcting the sleep pattern may to. The fondness to work during bedtime solutions to your problems in advance, make you want to start witnessing the can be dragged out by avoiding to eat stressing out over them at night may enchanting rise of daylight. not be the best option. “(Sometimes), bad sleeping habits make me lose the tt
tt 74 SPADES Comfort in the shade Words by Erin Ruth Flores Art by Chynna Ysabelle Brugada Everyone sees differently while wearing glasses; some may see a much clearer view, others rose-tinted, and a few may see things zoomed in or far away. There are those, however, the eyeglasses that may see things in a somber manner. Going through life, people may encounter many experiences in their daily lives that can make or break them. Some could handle these well while others don’t, leading them to overthink and even acquiring a pessimistic view of life. PESSIMISM HAS BEEN used wrongly for a long time. Many people have a lot of misconceptions about it, causing more harm than good to the pessimists that are close to them. “[Pessimists] are misunderstood because (people) see them in a general way, but every individual thinks differently and so (do pessimists),” Cloud* shared. In this generation where misinformation and misjudgement are high, it’s time that we clear the negative views surrounding the phenomena of pessimism.
SPADES 75 Blurry vision “It’s not like a switch that I Wearing pessimistic spectacles is not can turn off, and if I could, I often perceived well by the majority. There would’ve turned it off ages ago. are some that have negative beliefs about it. “People often assume that when one Monochromatic haze than done. For others, being positive is thinks (negatively), that (type of) thinker People that look through pessimistic almost an unachievable thing because has a tendency of giving up on something one can’t help but think like that. Jae said that they want to do,” Matt* shared. lenses have both successes and pessimism can help an individual to strive However, it can be more than that—for consequences from it. For some and be strong, one shouldn’t feel bad if some, it can act as a coping mechanism pessimists, negative thinking affects them you think negatively. “So please know that and as a means of motivating themselves. positively. “People like me who are afraid you’re valid despite what (others) might of (failures or changes) could accept say,” they stated. According to Cloud, “[Pessimism] is a negative outcomes more easily since we fixed mindset (that makes you) assume were already expecting it to happen in Although negative thoughts can be hard the worst (about) every decision (that) you the first place,” Jae mentioned. Because to control, it can however be avoided even make, (as well as) how you see yourself.” of this, there are times that this mindset for a little while. Garingo advised, “If there Thinking negatively could affect the daily could actually help an individual excel in would be some students that experience choices of pessimists which could lead certain aspects of their life. Pessimism pessimism, it would be best to talk to a to missing good opportunities because can also act as one’s defense mechanism counselor para matulungan (sila on) how of this mentality. Pessimism is clearly to avoid failures and disappointments. to help them distract their thoughts from something no one aspires to look through, their negativity.” yet there are still people that choose to However, there are some who pass continue seeing through those glasses. through bad experiences by wearing *** it. “Anxiety comes with the fact that The world can be viewed in various Inverted lenses pessimism can make me think of ways depending on the person, and There are many factors that can baseless assumptions,” Matt stated. the perspective of each and everyone When overthinking wins over the changes based on the spectacles they explain why some people continue to conscious mind, there are times that wear. For the onlookers, the idea of wear the glasses of pessimism, and one thinking rationally starts to get hard. pessimism seems bleak while for those of these is overthinking. “Overthinkers are Daily tasks and choices become difficult who wear the glasses, it can give off a usually the ones affected by [pessimism] to accomplish as negative thoughts comforting feeling. It acts as a shield to the most,” DLSU-D Student Wellness slowly cover one’s eyes, temporarily protect their eyes from rays and particles Center Counselor Michelle Garingo said. blinding them. Jade Sia (STM21) shared, that may obstruct their view. Overthinkers have the propensity to think “[W]henever I (make) a decision, I feel There are others that see themselves the worst-case scenario, which could bad that I didn’t choose the right one.” as someone terrible for not having a even lead to anxiety and sometimes low positive attitude while all people cope self-esteem. Because of this, a pessimist A cleared view with failures and disappointments in might have a tendency to pass up One can remove their glasses many and distinct ways. Forcing oneself opportunities in fear that they’re not good to think positively can—not just make it enough or not suitable for it. anytime they please, but if they become worse—but be detrimental to their health. dependent on them, taking it out of their Misconceptions about pessimism had The presence of negative experiences sight will be a daunting task for them. No clouded people’s perception for a long is another reason why people have matter how hard one tries to control it, the time, but now we can see through their pessimistic views. Jae* reminisced an negative thoughts that race through the lenses and gain deeper insights into the experience during their childhood, “(I was head of an individual becomes difficult to mind of a pessimist. told that I wasn’t) good enough...that I’d filter through and manage. “It’s not like a only embarrass myself. I believed (it), and switch that I can turn off, (and if I could, *Editor’s Note: Identities are hidden that kind of mindset stuck with me.” I would’ve) turned it off ages ago,” Cloud behind pseudonyms. mentioned. People often assume that Most pessimists recall unpleasant thinking positively is an easy thing to do memories because it is easier than but in fact, it isn’t. remembering happy ones. According to an article from The New York Times, The phrase “be positive” has been “Negative emotions generally involve used by people to dismiss pessimism. more thinking, and the information is Yet these words are just easier said processed more thoroughly than positive ones, thus, we tend to ruminate more about unpleasant events—and use stronger words to describe them—than happy ones.”
76 SPADES Past the skin, uncovering what’s within Words by Sophia Angela Silva Art by Evalene Vianca De Jesus The moment the doors clicked shut, the weight on one’s shoulders suddenly felt lighter, though the weariness within felt heavier. The vanity gleams maliciously as if to remind its authority, luring empty eyes to face the mirror and question their sanity. Imprisoned for something given—that was never wanted nor asked for—and be treated indifferently for a “crime” they have not committed. The world’s strongest chains are suddenly put to shame, for one’s skin is a far more difficult confinement to escape. SKIN-SHAMING IS a phenomenon lang na-realize na mali pala ‘yun,” she became too heavy to carry, causing that has been going on for centuries shared. As those children look back, the performer to miss a step in their and is still prevalent today. It only takes they realize that those harmless jokes choreography. Unfortunately, the ocean a few seconds to throw a snarky remark were doing more harm than their younger of judging eyes did not miss a beat. about how a person’s skin looks while minds could have imagined, that it was it takes a whole lifetime to recover from when their skin started to weigh more Reyes and Desquitado reminisced how those wounds. than it should. skin-shaming put their self-confidence off the barricade, which became the most A prisoner of conscience “At the end of affected aspect of their lives. Reyes Joking remarks are thrown left and admitted that because of her insecurities, the day, all she missed several opportunities. “I love right, and tears start to form from the to perform. (Pero) nag-try lang ako sumali kid getting picked on. As those children you really have sa mga dance group sa school noong grow older, when will the line be drawn Grade 10, [imbis na nagawa] ko na sana between what can be perceived as is yourself. ‘yun since (Grade 7),” she revealed. mere jokes and insensitive comments? “[A]ng sakit lang kasi bakit [‘yung physical So always Overthinking was another link in appearance] ko ‘yung [unang napapansin] the chain to be carried, as it affected (ng iba) sa akin—bakit tungkol na lang sa do it for Desquitado badly that she would physical appearances lagi?” Imee Reyes always feel conscious about her skin. (HMS22) expressed. yourself and “[E]verytime na lalabas kami, iniisip ko na ji-na-judge ng ibang tao ‘yung skin ko,” Because of getting used to being not for others. said Desquitado. imprisoned in such bullying for a long time, she chose to just brush the negative Chained to the rhythm She also disclosed losing a few comments off. Making fun of others may Handcuffs didn’t hinder them as lights chances to be in the spotlight because be fun for some, but not for the ones being the clutches of insecurities kept her made fun of, Reyes recalled on why she pointing towards the stage suddenly restrained. “Nag-start [ako magkaroon ng was a common target of skin-shaming. glowed brighter as the show commenced, acne] (noong) summer [before Grade 10], “‘[P]ag naiinis daw ako, natutuwa sila,” ending the trip down memory lane. so (noong) [auditions] sa [C]heerdance, she said. However, the pressure from the crowd’s nahiya akong mag-audition kasi affected piercing gaze and the weight of the chains na ‘yung self-esteem ko.” Even as time Children, being as they are, may has passed, the harsh grip of the past have difficulties identifying the difference still continues to haunt them as their fears from playful teasing to harsh remarks. It slowly became regrets. wouldn’t be a surprise if one’s very first experience of skin-shaming was through tolerating peers being skin-shamed, just like Jhanell Desquitado (ABM12). “[Dati inisip ko na] normal na biro lang siya. [P]ero after ko magkaroon ng knowledge about skin-shaming, doon ko
SPADES 77 Healed but scarred Despite healing from the wounds of She also quipped that people shouldn’t Wounds from those shackles are far being skin-shamed, having others bleed change for external validation, saying, as they undergo the same situation is out “[A]t the end of the day, [all] you really more difficult to deal, especially if it’s one of the question. Desquitado added that if have is yourself. [So] always do it for that the eyes can’t see. Reyes confessed she were to experience or witness skin- yourself and not for others.” that as those wounds re-opened, “Di-ni- shaming again, “[I]-e-educate ko na ‘yung dismiss [ko lang pala] ‘yung (sakit) [that person para [hindi na maranasan ng iba] *** skin-shaming brought me] through the ‘yung [naranasan] ko.” “[H]indi natin maiiwasan ‘yung years instead of being healed kasi up comments and judgement ng ibang tao until now, [I realized] na affected pa (rin) Once restrained, now refined pagdating sa atin. [K]ilala mo naman ako.” Some wounds may run deeper The rattling of chains as they fell on the ‘yung sarili mo, that’s enough,” Reyes than others, but not all are too deep for expressed. You may not be in control of the healing. Scarred? Definitely. Healed? cold floor echoed through the walls, which people’s chain of thoughts, but knowing Eventually. meant one thing—the taste of freedom how to respond to what others say and has come at last. Despite not knowing giving them the power to restrain you is The ghost of the wound still lingers, what the future holds, they chose to face in your hands. despite the chains being long undone, it headstrong as they embrace their battle Skin-shaming will never be right nor but it’s no longer a haunting piece of the scars. Desquitado advised to start loving pretty, no matter which angle you choose past. Now, it has become a reminder to oneself first. “[When] you love yourself, to look at it. The wounds caused by the be a better version of one’s self. “[I] think you’ll start doing things that you love harsh grip of this phenomenon’s chains hindi na mawawala ‘yung scar [na binigay without thinking and [caring about what are beyond skin-deep and, in some ng skin-shaming] sa’kin. [Pero hindi] na others may think].” instances, forever engraved in one’s ako nasasaktan kasi I’m already healed,’’ identity. As one removes the shackles, the Desquitado stated. It may be easier said than done, but pain may linger and the scars may forever it’s also important to persevere towards stay. Nonetheless, healing will come as this freeing mindset. “[S]obrang worth it you break free from the confinement of ng feeling na mawalan ng (pakialam) sa your skin and venture off on a quest to iniisip ng iba. You can do whatever you uncover the beauty that lies within. want without being bothered,” she added. Take it from Reyes on preferring the beauty in one’s personality over physical beauty, as she was once someone who was constantly defined by the confinement of her physical appearance. Reyes imparted her takeaways from situations where others pointed out her skin’s state, “(That’s when I learned that) it’s all about the character (and) not the appearance for me.”
78 SPADES Ilusyon ng manipulasyon Words by Francine Angela Dela Fuente Art by Leica Gwyneth Mendoza Para sa karamihan, may mga bagay na tila kapani-paniwala ngunit nababalot ng panlilinlang. Nahihirapan na maibukod ang katotohanan sa imahinasyong likha ng mga sitwasyong umuusbong sa paligid. TALAMAK SA SOCIAL media ang lantarang kasinungalingan o pagtanggi sa Pagbabahagi ni Han na malaki ang salitang gaslighting sa kasalukuyan. mga impormasyong tinalumpati sa biktima. naidulot ng ganitong asal sa kanyang Ayon sa Psychological Today, isa itong Halimbawa nito ang pariralang “Wala mentalidad at emosyonal na kalusugan mapanirang uri ng manipulasyon— akong sinabi na ganyan!” na maaaring bilang nakaranas nito. “I find it hard pinaniniwala ang isang tao sa maling magbigay udyok na pagdudahan ang coping up with [gaslighting] because... impormasyon na inihayag sa kanya. pagkakaiba ng katotohanan sa hindi. hindi ako nagtatanim ng galit.” Salaysay Isa rin itong sikolohikal na pagkontrol niya na madalas niyang pabayaan na kung saan mayroong nakatagong binhi Komento ni Han*, “Nagkakaroon ng lang ang nangyari, isa sa napakaraming ng pagdududa ang mga gaslighter sa guilt-tripping sa lagay na ito dahil parang dahilan para ipagpatuloy ng gaslighter biktima na nagdudulot ng pagkwestyon pinaparamdam sa’yo ng gaslighter na ang ganitong gawain sa ibang tao. sa kanilang sarili. Maaaring naranasan gawa-gawa mo lang ang mga bagay na mo na ito mismo, ngunit iyo bang sinabi mo.” Minsan na rin itong naranasan “To fight against nababatid na posibleng ikaw rin ang ni Ken Piencenaves (HMS15), na para magbunsad nito sa ibang tao? bang nakapokus sa kanya ang lahat gaslighting is sa panahong iyon. “I (felt) like I was a Kaparaanan ng laro deceiver and fabricator, which led me (to) to have strength doubt my whole argument and rethink Hindi dali-daling mapapansin ang what really happened,” bahagi niya. and time to gaslighting lalo na’t madalas itong nagsisimula sa mga simpleng salita na Sa likod ng panlilinlang evaluate thoughts maaaring magtungo sa mapanganib na Nagmimistulang isang pagharap sa epekto. Ilan sa mga ito ang katagang and dysfunctional “Masyado kang madrama!” kung salamin ang pagkabatid sa mga unang saan naipapakita ang pagbaliwala sa nabanggit na kaso ng gaslighting na thinking. nararamdaman ng isang tao. Wika ni sumasalamin sa mga karaniwang resulta Arci*, “[People] don’t acknowledge ng penomenon. Ayon kay Humanities Sa kabilang banda, maraming rason (others’) feelings kasi iniisip nila na [may and Social Sciences faculty Geordan kung bakit nagkakaroon ng naturang mga taong mas mabigat pang problema Carungcong, maraming epekto ang pag-uugali ang isang tao. Bigkas ni kaysa sa kanila].” posibleng maranasan ng mga biktima ng Madison Cantimbuhan (HMS24), “People gaslighting. who [gaslight] are the ones who can’t Aniya, ito ang dahilan kung kaya’t [understand] others, they just (want) na napapaisip ang nakatanggap ng mga “[They can receive] a great level of sila lang (ang) laging iniintindi.” naturang linyahan kung wasto pa rin ba anxiety paired with questioning (of their) ang kaniyang mga damdamin. Para kay surroundings [or having trust issues Amity*, may mga pagkakataon kung saan caused by the trauma of being gaslighted].” narinig niya ito mula sa kanyang mga Hinuha pa niya na nangyayari na ito noon kalapit. “[P]arang ako ‘yung mali na dapat pa man, “It’s just that people tend to hindi na lang ako nagsalita o nakisali sa ignore these issues before, unlike today.” usapan,” lahad niya. Bukod dito, isa rin sa mga nagaganap sa loob ng konseptong gaslighting ang
SPADES 79 Binigyang-liwanag ni Carungcong the idea of gaslighting is the biggest help I *** ang kadalasang dahilan na nag-uudyok can do,” pahayag niya. “To fight against gaslighting is to sa akto ng gaslighting, “The results of have strength and time to evaluate negative experiences from the past or Mungkahi naman ni Amity para sa mga thoughts and dysfunctional thinking,” wrong upbringings when they were still a taong patuloy na nakararanas ng ganitong mensahe ni Carungcong sa kahalatan. child are still (living) in their mind.” Ngunit gawi, “Open up about it and talk back if Sa laro ng gaslighting, kaakibat nito kanyang idiniin, “[T]his shouldn’t be a necessary, especially if your claims are ang mga nakapupukaw na estratehiya reason to tolerate [gaslighting].” firm enough.” Kahit na bali-baliktarin ang ng manipulasyon at ilusyon na mga kwento na sinabi sa isang tao, kung nagsusumiklab sa iyong pagkatao. Tugon sa taktika susuriin ang katotohanan, tiyak na hindi Gayundin, iba’t ibang kabulaanan ang Sa anumang sitwasyon, hindi siya mahuhulog sa patibong nito. dala ng bawat buka ng bibig at labas ng salita, kaya’t nasa palad mo ang desisyon maiiwasang makaranas ng gaslighting Payo rin ni Carungcong ang paghingi kung magpapadala ka sa apoy ng haka ngunit maaari itong mabago habang ng tulong sa mga propesyonal upang o mananatili at maninidigan sa tunay na lumilipas ang panahon. Naniniwala si maintindihan ang mga pinagdadaanan. takbo ng reyalidad na tinatamasa. Piencenaves na sa pamamagitan ng Nakatutulong din ang pagkakaroon ng kamulatan hinggil sa isyu, matatamo ang mapagkakatiwalaang grupo ng tao gaya *Editor’s note: Ikinubli ang mga maayos na pamumuhay malayo sa mga ng pamilya o kaibigan, sapagkat sila pagkakakilanlan sa pamamagitan ng negatibong kaganapan na umusbong. ang magpapanumbalik sa katotohanang pseudonyms. “Educating my friends and family about hindi dapat sisihin ang sarili sa mga sitwasyong nangyari.
80 SPADES When endeavors get vanquished Words by Zhaine Luisse Toledo Art by Franz Maverick Vicedo As the mind begins to wander, the feeling of bliss and tranquility in the kingdom of dreams travels through. A gigantic grin starts to spread across the face as the heart begins to flutter—“that is where I want to be”, we whisper to ourselves, wishing and believing that one day the soul in the body we own will be in a place of prosperity.
SPADES 81 GAZING OUT THE window with a Students like him tend to purposefully distraction might start setting in. “There spread of clouds, we begin to wonder postpone doing work to gain an immense are times that I’ve had to compromise whether we’re going to achieve the glory amount of drive to finish work faster and the quality of my work to pass it on time,” we’ve been dreaming of. Much like anyone focus more on the tasks at hand. Monsod shared. She also confessed that else, we’re compelled to leave our safe she missed deadlines and had points haven to reach the place buried beneath The thrill may also surge people’s deducted from her final grade due to the fog, being continually reminded that creativity. Monsod shared, “I feel like her incapability to finish tasks on time. trials must be fought to reach the kingdom the pressure and stress I get from in our dreams. The sword we carry and procrastination gives me the chance to Conquering debacle. The tendency the body we possess must be reinforced; become more creative.” With the time to put things off can be intense, particularly strategies and tribulations must be seemingly ticking at a quicker pace, if there are too many exciting hindrances planned. However, the thought of doing students tend to notice an efflux in their around us. However, recognizing the tiresome tasks makes it nearly impossible resourcefulness causing outputs to come feeling of regret when you let the desire to obtain inspiration and take action. out unique and occasionally better than to give in to distractions before it happens expected. This can bring a great sense removes the awful emotions and an Fondness of comfort. Nowadays, of satisfaction as successfully finishing incredible amount of stress. seeking warmth over progression—to an output in a short amount of time is an the extent where deadlines are being absolutely impeccable feeling—and can “[S]et rewards for each time you ignored—has become an unvarying sometimes be addicting. complete a task,” Monsod suggested. and prominent habit among students. Most of the time, a break from tedious According to a study entitled “Impact of “REGARDLESS OF HOW work is all we need. “My standard is a one- procrastination and its contributing factors to-one ratio for time worked to time rested. on Business Administration Students IMMENSELY DIFFICULT For example, an hour’s worth of tasks will in Surigao Del Sur State University”, give me an hour’s worth of relaxation,” procrastination is considerably greater IT IS TO SIT DOWN AND she elaborated on the routine that helps among students than in the general public, her stay grounded and productive. with more than 70 percent resorting to GET STARTED, THE procrastination at some point. While for Ibañez, “[T]ry to set [your] ABILITY TO POWER own deadline, or kaya ask someone Each individual has distinct excuses, [else to set it for you].” Having motivating making it impossible to point out one THROUGH MORE factors such as personal deadlines can particular explanation as to why students definitely help in overcoming the urge to tend to blissfully disregard their tasks. APPEALING AND procrastinate, however, this may lead to For Khrice Ibañez (STM26), he’d often feelings of intimidation or hopelessness, procrastinate due to his confidence in the IMMEDIATE particularly when students have to finish abilities he possesses. “Kahit na nag-po- piles and piles of work. At this point, what procrastinate ako, [I can assure na] kaya DISTRACTIONS STARTS an individual can do is to take each item kong malagyan ng quality ‘yung gawa ko,” on their list, break them into a series of he explained. WITHIN ONE THING: steps, and dedicate moments in the day to finish each item. On the other hand, Miren Monsod OURSELVES. (HMS11) admitted that she would choose Regardless of how immensely difficult sleep over her assessments. “I usually The damages that ensue. Despite it is to sit down and get started, the ability put off tasks that look like too much work,” all the benefits people may get by to power through more appealing and she shared. The problem usually arises deliberately impeding their progression, immediate distractions starts within one when people start growing accustomed making it a habit will more likely bring thing: ourselves. to comfortable situations. The thought nothing but implications. “Sobrang of simply leaving their safe haven can (naipon) ‘yung aking gawain to the point *** cause a halt from them dabbling into na (stressed) na ako,” Ibañez admitted “Gawin mo na lahat [ng kailangan uncertainty. Now, setting aside workload when asked about the consequences he gawin at] mahirapan ka na ngayon para for comfort once in a while probably faced after consciously delaying tasks. pagdating sa dulo, [makahihinga ka na],” won’t bring abounding damages. The “[I remember], kaliwa’t kanan akong Ibañez advised, reminding us that time is real problem emerges when the act is [nanghingi] ng extensions sa mga teacher in constant motion; when our bodies stand done persistently. [ko],” he continued. still, time doesn’t follow. Thus, progression must be of utmost importance despite its Eagerness to defer. The adrenaline Sooner or later, the work left undone nature of aggravating one’s stress levels. from the pressure in doing last-minute may begin piling up with its deadlines One day, our wish of being in a place of tasks might be the main culprit in why fast approaching and the feeling of prosperity will no longer be unreachable, people make the same mistake in a remorse in letting the urge to give in to the glory that was solely in the kingdom never-ending manner. Ibañez said, of dreams will soon be at our possession “[Nakakakuha ako ng motivation] kapag until we can open-heartedly say, “I am nandyan na ‘yung deadline,” which are the finally where I want to be.” good things he gets from procrastination.
WRITERS’ Stephanie Nicole Rabacal Ma. Ladeevie Tamonan Features Editor Jedd Rudolf Caldo Francine Angela Dela Fuente Zhaine Luisse Toledo
’ PROFILE Mary Abigail Manalo Sophia Angela Silva Elaine Samantha Olona Andrea Kristine Lazaro Erin Ruth Flores
GRAPHIC AND LAYOUT ARTISTS Angienette Laurza Jan Anthony Murillo PHOTOGRAPHERS Ollie Alexandra Lanzar Elisha Jezreel Ang Photo Editor Shielo Mariel Tricia Faye Velasco Camaganacan
ARTISTS Kristen Faith Maala Nikki Alexis Antonio Art Editor Chynna Ysabelle Jericho Rasheed Evalene Vianca Brugada Celestino De Jesus Maria Sophia Leica Gwyneth Denise Preclaro Emelda Initorio Mendoza Rania Marie Pucan Franz Maverick Vicedo
La Estrella Verde The Official Senior High School Publication of De La Salle University Dasmarinas EDITORIAL BOARD A.Y. 2020-2021 John Ethan Casela, Editor in Chief Vince Daniel Papa, Associate Editor Stephanie Nicole Rabacal, Managing Editor Mary Abigail Manalo, Copy Editor John Ethan Casela and Vince Daniel Papa, News Editors Krizia Isabelle dela Serna, Sports Editor Stephanie Nicole Rabacal, Features Editor Josephine Punzalan, Literary Editor Kristen Faith Maala, Art Editor Ollie Alexandra Lanzar, Photo & Video Editor Jezzyrae Maglente, Web Editor Ramil Benedict de Jesus, Radio Program Manager Dominic Benavente, Adviser La Estrella Verde has its editorial office at Room 241, High School Complex De La Salle University-Dasmariñas DBB-B City of Dasmariñas, Cavite 4115 Telephone: +63-2-7795180, +63-46-4811900 to 1930 local 3302 Email: [email protected] Facebook: www.facebook.com/ DLSUDLaEstrellaVerde Twitter: @LeviofLEV
Search