In loving memory of David Siggers

IN LOVING MEMORY AND CELEBRATING THE LIFE OF Mr. David Siggers 9th July1960 – 20th July 2022. The Chapel Kensal Green Cemetery, Harrow Road, London W10 4RA Wednesday 10th August 2022, 10 am.

Officiating minister: Reverend Derrick Sena Introduction Hello everyone and a warm welcome. My name is Reverend Derrick Sena Dzandu-Hedidor and I am honoured to be officiating this service for David today. We have come here to celebrate and remember the life of David Siggers. Thank you to each of you for coming and for caring. Your presence and support make a positive difference to the quality of the service we will have for David here today. David has written an order of service and I have included most of what he wanted in this service. David would want you to remember, reflect or pray for him in your own way throughout this service. Although this is surely a sad occasion, David would like our time together to be a celebration of him; remembering who he was and how special he is. As we celebrate David’s life, we are invited to remember him in the fullness of his life, appreciating his qualities and our love for him; and mourn his passing. 2

In Loving Memory of David Siggers INSIGHT: DAVID SIGGERS ....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 4 Order of Service..................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 6 PART ONE: In the Chapel................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 6 Prayer............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 6 Poem................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................ 6 Tributes ............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................ 7 Quiet reflection................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................. 7 Hymn................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................ 8 Bible Reading.................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 8 Exhortation....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 9 Prayer of Thanksgiving & Intercession ............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 9 Ascription of Glory ............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................ 9 The Lord’s Prayer .............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................. 9 Blessing ............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................ 9 Music ............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 9 PART TWO: BY THE GRAVESIDE ............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................ 10 Opening Sentences ......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 10 Blessing of the grave ....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 10 Lowering of the coffin ..................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 10 The Committal ................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................ 10 Family members bid their Farewells ................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................ 11 Hymn.............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................. 11 Poem.............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................. 11 Filling of the grave .......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 12 Closing Words................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................. 12 The Lord’s Prayer ............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................ 12 Blessing .......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 12 Tributes from family and friends........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 13 3

INSIGHT: DAVID SIGGERS MY FRIEND, DAVID SIGGERS By Rob Donovan Authors look for stories to tell. They seek pegs on which to hang the meanings they weave from their observations and reflections. I have a peg for this blog. He is a real flesh-and-blood hook. He lives in the London Borough of Brent in what used to be called a council-house and he spends his life in a bed attached to various pieces of equipment that support him during the day and night. Occasionally, in an emergency, an ambulance will arrive and speed him across London to St Thomas' hospital across the Thames from the Palace of Westminster - and then some days later return him to his Willesden home. Let me introduce you to David Siggers who was born on July 9, 1960 when I was nearing the end of my first year at Dartford Grammar school in Kent. David aged around seven - with Christine, his mum - Wembley stadium in the background - David notes that at the time the Siggers family were the only family living there - the whole area had been brought up by Brent council so they could knock all the houses down and build one big housing estate - hence the rather dilapidated background - the whole area was a playground of empty houses and gardens! David comments that he is standing, in his plimsolls (it's all trainers now!) on tiptoe. A classic sign of a child with Duchenne's muscular dystrophy. I first met David in the early 1980s when I was teaching at Aylestone Community School in Brent. The school that I had joined as Head of History in 1977 was now offering its Sixth Form (Years 12 and 13) teaching to adults from the local community as well as its internal students who were aged 16 and over. David was in my GCSE History 'O' level class for one year - and passed with a Grade A. The following year, he entered my GCE History 'A' level class and took the exam after a year I think and passed with a Grade C. By 1984, I had completed seven years of service at my social-priority, multi-racial London comprehensive during which time the school roll had fallen from around 1400 to 700 - and I made my exit. These were years of extraordinary demographic change in the great wen of London. Take a look at this link to read my reflective account of what I experienced between 1977 and 1984 in one educational institution. David has a condition known as Duchenne muscular dystrophy. His mum, Christine Siggers, died a few years ago and she is a peg for this blog too. She and her husband, Will, had three children - Teresa, Jeffrey and David. All had Duchenne's. Jeff died aged 21. Teresa was 31 when she died. David was in his early 4

twenties when he arrived in his wheelchair in the sixth form bloc of the school - a charming and clever and handsome young man (no, David, I don't need that brown paper envelope; I can say it for free). He had lost most of his mobility, but his fingers could still hold a pen and the writing skill remained for a few more years. David later started an OU degree course with success but could not complete it due to Duchenne's. After I left the school in 1984, I remained in contact with David by post and once a year or so I would return, first from Oxford and then from Suffolk, to see him in his home that was a stone's throw from Aylestone School (later renamed as Queen's Park Community School). I met Will and Christine and members of his family and their friends, girl-friends of David - one of whom I had taught, and members of his care-team who were all lovely and came from many different parts of the world. It was such a cosmopolitan place, David's home. Will died in 2001 and Louise and I went to the funeral and the wake later, in David's home. When Christine died, aged 85, in the summer of this year, we were in Greece and could not attend the funeral. David has produced a family tribute in which he wrote: \"Bringing up three disabled children through the fifties and sixties was very tough for her (and my father) as there was no extra financial help and no help in the form of carers ... It was also a time when the majority of people were still scared of disability and people felt free to comment and be rude about people with disabilities, and Mum and Dad had plenty of abuse, harassment and arguments in public about her 'daring' to venture out in public with Teresa, Jeffrey and myself.\" 5

PART ONE: In the Chapel Order of Service Officiating minister: Reverend Derrick Sena All stand as the Body is brought into the Church Music: “Blackbird” (by the Beatles). Prayer Poem Theirs is a land of hope and glory Mine is the green field and the factory floor We will now listen to one of the poems David chose: Theirs are the skies all dark with bombers And mine is the peace we knew between the wars Between the wars by Billy Bragg. Call up the craftsmen, bring me the draughtsmen I was a miner, I was a docker Build me a path from cradle to grave I was a railway man between the wars I raised a family in times of austerity And I'll give my consent to any government With sweat at the foundry between the wars That does not deny a man a living wage I paid the union and as times got harder Go find the young men never to fight again I looked to the government to help the working man Bring up the banners from the days gone by Sweet moderation, heart of this nation But they brought prosperity down at the armoury Desert us not, we are between the wars. We're arming for peace me boys, between the wars I kept the faith and I kept voting Not for the iron fist but for the helping hand For theirs is a land with a wall around it And mine is a faith in my fellow man 6

Tributes 1. Mrs Belinda Siggers, Christine, Aba & Edinam 2. Rob Donovan – friend (Read by Simon Woodland) 3. Family (Read by Lucie Prior) Quiet reflection Let us take a few moments now for each of us to reflect on David, his life and what you loved and appreciated about him and how his life touched yours. Please remember him as he would like to be remembered. 7

Hymn 2. Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come, Let this blessed assurance control, 1. When peace, like a river, attendeth my way, when sorrows, like sea-billows, roll, That Christ has regarded my helpless estate, And has shed his own blood for my soul. [Refrain]: whatever my lot, you have taught me to say, It is well, it is well with my soul. 5. But, Lord, 'tis for you, for your coming, we wait; The sky, not the grave, is our goal; [Refrain]: It is well, (it is well), with my soul, (with my soul), O trump of the angel! O voice of the Lord! Blessèd hope! blessèd rest of my soul! [Refrain]: It is well, it is well with my soul. Horatio Gates Spafford, 1873. Bible Reading: The reading is from the book of Psalms. (Read by David Affutu Nartey) PSALM 90 - A prayer of Moses the man of God. 90 1 Lord, you have been our dwelling place throughout all generations. 2 Before the mountains were born or you brought forth the whole world, from everlasting to everlasting you are God.3 You turn people back to dust, saying, “Return to dust, you mortals.” 4 A thousand years in your sight are like a day that has just gone by, or like a watch in the night. 5 Yet you sweep people away in the sleep of death— they are like the new grass of the morning: 6 In the morning it springs up new, but by evening it is dry and withered 7 We are consumed by your anger and terrified by your indignation. 8 You have set our iniquities before you, our secret sins in the light of your presence. 9 All our days pass away under your wrath; we finish our years with a moan. 10 Our days may come to seventy years, or eighty, if our strength endures; yet the best of them are but trouble and sorrow, for they quickly pass, and we fly away. 11 If only we knew the power of your anger! Your wrath is as great as the fear that is your due. 12 Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. [New International Version] Here ends the reading. ALL: Thanks be to God. Amen.

Exhortation Prayer of Thanksgiving & Intercession Ascription of Glory The Lord’s Prayer Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name; thy kingdom come; thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation; but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, the power, and the glory, for ever and ever. Amen Blessing All remain standing as the Body is taken out of the Church Music “Bird on a wire” (by Joe Cocker) is played. To the graveside: All form a cortege and follow the hearse with the family immediately behind the hearse. 9

PART TWO: BY THE GRAVESIDE Opening Sentences Blessing of the grave Lowering of the coffin The Committal As we prepare for the committal, where we will make our farewell to David, wishing him well on his journey, let us listen to the following reading: There is no night without a dawning No winter without a spring And, beyond the dark horizon Our hearts will once more sing For those who leave us for a while Have only gone away Out of a restless, care worn world Into a brighter day. David, we are so glad that you lived among us, that we saw your face and felt the glow of your friendship and love. We thank you for your many gifts and the many kindnesses that you shared with us. You have all of our love and respect. We will always cherish our memories of you. And so, we now say to you. Goodbye David may our love be with you, and may you now be in the light, in freedom and at peace. Here in this final act, in sorrow but without fear, in love and appreciation we commit the body of David Siggers to its natural end; to the ground, earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust. 10

Family members bid their Farewells Poem Hymn We will now listen to another poem David chose: 1. God be with you till we meet again; Universal Soldier by Buffy Sainte-Marie. By his counsels guide, uphold you, With his sheep securely fold you; He's five feet two and he's six feet four God be with you till we meet again. He fights with missiles and with spears He's all of thirty-one and he's only seventeen Refrain: He's been a soldier for a thousand years Till we meet, till we meet, He's a catholic, a Hindu, an Atheist, a Jane Till we meet at Jesus' feet; A Buddhist and a Baptist and Jew Till we meet, till we meet, And he knows he shouldn't kill and he knows he always will kill God be with you till we meet again. You'll for me my friend and me for you And he's fighting for Canada, he's fighting for France 2. God be with you till we meet again; He's fighting for the USA ‘Neath his wings securely hide you, And he's fighting for the Russians and he's fighting for Japan daily manna still provide you; And he thinks we'll put an end to war this way God be with you till we meet again. (Refrain) And he's fighting for democracy he's fighting for the reds He says it's for the peace of all 3. God be with you till we meet again; He's the one who must decide who's to live and who's to die when life's perils thick confound you, And he never sees the writing on the wall But without him how would Hitler have condemned him at Le Val put his arms unfailing round you; Without him Caesar would have stood alone God be with you till we meet again. (Refrain) He's the one who gives his body as the weapon of the war And without him all this killing can't go on 4. God be with you till we meet again; keep love's banner floating o'er you, And he's fighting for democracy he's fighting for the reds smite death's threatening wave before you; He says it's for the peace of all God be with you till we meet again. (Refrain) He's the one who must decide who's to live and who's to die And he never sees the writing on the wall Jeremiah Eames Rankin (1828-1904) But without him how would Hitler have condemned him at Le Val Without him Caesar would have stood alone 11

He's the one who gives his body as the weapon of the war They come from him and you and me and brothers can't you see And without him all this killing can't go on This is not the way we put an end to war? He's the universal soldier and he really is to blame But his orders come from far away no more Filling of the grave Closing Words I invite us all to spend our remaining moments together strengthening ourselves and reflecting on how, having known David, we now go back into life. May we all, remember, as he would have wished and honouring the man that he was, remember: To appreciate the beautiful things in life, To maintain a sense of humour To cherish our family and dear friends, To live our lives with dignity, care and kindness As we draw our time together to a close, I wish for you joy in your precious memories of David Comfort in your love for one another, And peace in your hearts May David rest in peace and may we all go in peace. Thank you all so much for being here today. The Lord’s Prayer Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name; thy kingdom come; thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation; but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, the power, and the glory, for ever and ever. Amen Blessing To send us on our way let us listen again to the song by Joe Cocker “Bird on a wire” for an unforgettable man - David. Thank you all again. 12

Tributes from family and friends 13

TRIBUTE BY WIFE, BELINDA SIGGERS It must have been cold there in my shadow A beautiful face without a name for so long To never have sunlight on your face A beautiful smile to hide the pain You were content to let me shine, that's your way Did you ever know that you're my hero You always walked a step behind And everything I would like to be? So I was the one with all the glory I can fly higher than an eagle While you were the one with all the strength For you are the wind beneath my wings Jeff Silbar / Larry Henley I still struggle to arrive at the reality that you are indeed gone. There is still that part of me that hopes that you will soon return. The thought of never seeing you again, never touching you again or feeling the warmth of your smile hurts so bad. I have lost a gem. We were each other’s keeper. For 20 years, you had been my strength and stay; and I found absolute peace in you. I always looked forward to sharing the highlights of my day with you. When I came home with complaints, you’d simply say “go get some food to eat and come watch some TV”. I’d always defer to you anytime I struggled to make sense of difficult situations and you’d always have an explanation and solution. You were such an amazing father to our children. You absolutely loved them and they loved you back. You remember how Christine, from the silence of her heart will touch you with the warmth of her eyes? You remember how Kwansima shared endless time with you and told you many? You remember how Edinam will crawl to your bedside and look up from beneath your bed? Your love knew no bounds. We have and will always treasure all the moments shared with you - safely kept in our memory box and in our hearts. 14

We miss you. We miss you dearly but every thought of you gives us reason to celebrate the life you lived, shared with us and with others. You had physical limitations but not lacking strength and freedom of mind. You were such a source and pillar of hope and such a distraction from limiting beliefs. Everyone who had the chance of ever spending time with you drew this inspiration from you. We read about the fruits of the spirit in bible but in being and living with you, we experience the true words of Galatians 5:22-23 being love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. My family had become yours and so did my friends. Yours was a rare but an accomplished life. We are missing this life with you. It’s difficult but we will try not to sorrow as those without hope. For our faith tells us in Ecclesiastes 12:17 “then shall the dust return to the earth as it was and the spirit shall return unto God who gave it”. To dust returneth was not spoken of your soul. We believe you are sleeping in the bosom of the Lord. Once, Kwansima looked up the window and said she could see you in the sky. You were happy, smiling and looking down on us. This must be it. You will always be there. We will always carry a part of you with us. We so dearly remember the nuggets of wisdom and life of character lived. We are inspired to emulate these in our words and conduct. Our companion, our hero, our father, our friend and my husband David, rest well in the gentle bosom of the Lord. THANK GOD FOR YOU DAVID, the wind beneath my wing A TRIBUTE TO DAVID SIGGERS from his friend, Rob Donovan (written, at David’s request, twenty years ago in 2002). We all have our own personal images of David; each one of us has his or her own experiences of a remarkable person – and each one of us has become, I feel, more fully human because we know David. David Siggers. What thoughts does that name, that life force, conjure up for you? David’s gift is that of inspiration. He gave glimpses into what it is to be truly a real person. His way of living provides a window into what is best in us – his humour, his gentleness, the lack of malice or spite, yes, but also his strength, his integrity, and the convictions about justice and fairness and equality. 15

David asked me to write this address in the early summer of 2002 and in agreeing I knew I had been given a rare privilege. But why keep our deepest feelings about the ones we love buried? Won’t their lives – and ours – be all the richer for their knowing such thoughts? I suggested that David might read this address once I had completed it. He agreed and did. And when I was drafting this, I was careful to write of David in the present tense. David is no less part of my life story now than he was in the summer of 2002 - indeed he is even more part of that story now. But, of course, there can be no further embellishments, no further developments. And for that we grieve and mourn in memory of David. Yet David still lives within us. Our memories of his gifted being in this world – his years of life – will remain with us to our own dying days. For Belinda, his so-loved wife, for Christine, his treasured mother, for all his family, for all his friends – for all of us – David was simply special. A trio of stories from my own bank of memories: In 1989 when David kindly helped sponsor a half-marathon I ran in Suffolk – my first – he wrote in the letter I still have: ‘Well done! I have just opened your sweat-stained letter and seen the result of the Bungay Marathon. Can I ask, is R.E.K. Donovan your full initialled name …’ (It is – my parents thought giving me three Christian names might somehow help my path in life but failed perhaps to realise the sound that REK makes.) ‘…or a description of your physical state as you crossed the line.’ Not just gentle humour, but integrity and conviction too. In early 2002 when David was in St. Thomas’s the Jubilee celebrations were providing many people with a reason to party. David was not having any of it. When invited to join the ward in a collective act of respect to the monarch, he declined. He would not defer to an institution that for him was grounded only in an accident of birth. Citizen David, I salute you. You are the gentlest of subversives, but your courage is truly radical. You make people think and question. You challenge for good reasons. Your care lives on in all of us. We thank you – and we will remember. Humour, integrity, and finally intelligence: a full trinity. It was January 1983 when I first met David. I had been department head of History at Aylestone High School since 1977 and all that time he had been living a stone’s throw away in Clement Close. The school had just become a community school and David szs as an O-level History student and declared his intention to take the exam six months later. He did – and passed with the top grade of A. Those six months were a learning curve for me too as I came to appreciate his many qualities. In the next academic year, he covered the two-year A-level History course in just nine months and passed with the good grade of C. I left Aylestone to work elsewhere but David spent several more years excelling within the Open University as a student who studied for the joy of learning. 16

And I kept in touch. By phone, by letter, more recently by e-mail, and through personal visits from first Oxford, then East Anglia, we communicated as friends. David was the magnet that pulled me back to Brent. I came to know and admire Christine and Will, as did Louise my wife, and we saw the photos and heard the stories of Geoff and Teresa, David’s elder brother and sister. And my understanding of the definition of ‘disabled’ collapsed. Here were three people who had a severely disabling condition: ‘muscular dystrophy’ who yet had lived lives that mattered, who inspired people and excited their admiration. In my time in Suffolk, I have taught in three schools and in each I have given an assembly talk about David, my friend in London. Each time, I felt the audience of school children become absorbed in my tale. ‘I would really like to meet him’, one said afterwards. We are the lucky ones. We did. Thank you, David. Rob Donovan – friend (Read by Simon Woodland) Memories from Thomas As a child, I rode on his wheelchair, but I can only remember from photos. After school, we’d play videogames, and he had set his Windows 98 computer to play the main line “Yummy Yummy Yummy” by Ohio Express every time it was turned on. Later, when he used a Mac, he set his background turquoise – the same default background as Windows 98. His username on one music app was ‘djiggers’. He liked sixties music, the calmer side of it, like Eric Clapton. He read The Guardian usually on a daily basis, and would share articles on matters such as the privatisation of water, the regulation of the technology industry, and free market forces around renewable energy. I recall once, when watching a nature documentary, he expressed that the poaching of tigers made him feel angry. He liked to discuss politics, current affairs, history, and sometimes food. He briefly worked as a therapist, and seemed to have a knack for it. In another life, or body, he might’ve been a history professor, or perhaps less surprising to those who knew him well, a politician. This is probably because he was well aware of the ability for politics to change peoples’ opportunities and circumstances, and when writing memoirs, explained that disability was stigmatised, despite his mother not having known about carrying a genetic condition, as an adoptee. But, in this life, he was forced to wait patiently, as technology slowly caught up to his restrictions, and developed democratic-socialist ideologies as a result. In recent years, Nobel Prize winning scientist Jennifer Doudna discovered a way to edit hereditary genes effectively, explains that Muscular Dystrophy can be fairly easily edited out of embryos, and considers if it may be seemed unethical not to do so someday (but presently the long-term consequences are unknown). 17

THANK YOU 18