Immersed

CREATIVE WRITING COMPETITION | 18TH MAY 2020 IMMERSED Al Hanouf Al Douqi It never made real sense to me when people get so emotional about death as I see them hugging their loved ones real tight and sending their messages and good-byes to everyone around them. I did not see the necessity in any of this because I did not think we will never meet again. But this earth, I was not sure I would sense her ever again. So, it is who I need to salute. That is why the first thing I ever did when I got the news about my infection of the virus and realised my limited few days on this planet. I did not leave any heartfelt farewell to anyone I know. I took my car and rode the highway for a three-hour drive. I was concerned about that place only. I wanted to run to my favourite spot. And reach the far valleys where my grandparents used to live. Considering that this would be my last place to visit, and in it, I wanted my raw evolving to happen. I reached the place around the afternoon and saw all of those valleys and hills. I realised it would be my last time to breathe in those moody winds. The air always smelt cold and serene. I went out after a while and decided not to wear any shoes, as the earth did not feel dirty, nor dangerous, I did. I walked and enjoyed that no one was in this whole area but for me. I could see my grandmother’s house, but I did not go in; I did not even bother or had the key. So, I just entered the yard and witnessed all of the trees guarding the place or doing their everyday tasks. I do not know; I had no clue. I just enjoyed the scenery of coloured fruits of different grapes and figs. The nuts cuddled with their flowers. Nature was comfortable. This made me think again about the earth’s opinion about us. If she loved us, saw us as a child that tires her but amuse her at the same time.

As the night started crawling and my feet got tired, I wondered if earth views me as another Bedouin, who sees every end of her as their land, or a basic farmer, who owns a part of her and nurture it, feeds it as it feeds me back. Are we by that family? Loyal to each other? Or just a mere visitor, who overstay their welcome? Does this earth really belong to us? Or we belong to her. I looked around the heavy mountains that always gave me a weird fright. Like they know too much, and they just observe. I wondered why they never made any sound, or they had one we never were able to hear. I felt my breath shorten, and it was too hard for me to walk anymore. I can feel my organs disclosing inside of me, announcing its expiring date. I walked enough around, and I finally reached my favourite hill; I laid there finally; it will be a few hours until the sunrise. I played my favorite playlist, consisting of tracks that I was secretly hoping for the valleys and flowers to enjoy because I knew they liked music more than anything we humans ever did to them. I recognise I was only one seed, one dirt to its big gigantic run. But I was wholesome to be part of it all, and overwhelmed, as I consider this to be my final performance as a living being. And at last, the sun rose, and it had a voice, I heard it well. The light blinded me as I immersed, one, and grow native. And finally, the earth was not dead, but me.