Women's View Magazine April 2022

VOLUME 16 | ISSUE 4 APRIL | 2022 Inspiring, educating, empowering and celebrating women in our community MAGAZINE Picture This More inside: A Visit to Vander Spring into Reading Captivated with Cruising Book Reviews Tips and Reflections Letting Go of Who’s the Boss? Picture Perfect Anita Surgeon The Perfectionism Trap Girlfriend Getaway Gardens You Must See

Close Letter from the Editor VOLUME 16 ISSUE 4 I used to be a scrapbooker. Meeting with a group of friends monthly for PUBLISHER a number of years, I created several prize-worthy albums full of precious Bill Bowman, F & B Publications memories. Vacations. Holidays. School days and birthdays. From baby [email protected] books filled with hair clippings and recorded milestones — everything from my daughters’ first steps to their first words — to Christmas albums EDITOR depicting our holiday madness on full display. Photos with Santa. Annual Crissy Neville Christmas card and chain letter. Seasonal snapshots of our tree, our [email protected] house, the gifts. Some scrapbooks I never finished, and sadly, some I never started, but I love what I accomplished with bits of paper and glitter, PRODUCTION MANAGER/ stickers and glue. Those books show a picture of a happy home. GRAPHIC DESIGNER Dylan Hooker But it is not just a show. My husband and I and our now-grown girls have a happy home, then and now. The images show our progression as a [email protected] family and today give us something to look back and reflect upon. Plus isn’t it fun to poke fun of those OPERATIONS DIRECTOR old haircuts, dorky, matching Paulette Naylor clothes and posed episodes? Comic relief or future blackmail, [email protected] take your pick! MARKETING REPRESENTATIVE We now live in the digital days. Linda McAlister Those who create memory books now — unfortunately, not [email protected] me — do so with a cursor and a screen instead of a glue stick DISTRIBUTION DIRECTOR/ and scissors. Easier? Maybe. As SALES ADMINISTRATOR therapeutic and satisfying? I dare Laurel Handforth say not. Sadly, now we all hoard pictures on our phones until the [email protected] memory is full. Then, we give up the ghost and start hitting the APRIL CONTRIBUTORS dreaded delete button! Do what Victoria Johnson you must, but I hope this issue Kay Frasier conjures up new images to help Lynne Smith you find health and happiness, Alena Barosa awareness and inspiration. Kalin Williams Picture that! Dr. Rebecca Crain Mary Miller Are you interested in writing? Consider contributing an article or pitching a Julie Lee-Jacobs story idea to WVM. We want to elevate your voice. For more information, email Allison Davis 2 | A P [email protected]. Be sure to like us and leave comments Dorothy Bullard on our Facebook page. Amy Kendrat 2 | APRIL 2022 WOMEN'S VIEW MAGAZINE 208 ROWAN ST. FAYETTEVILLE, NC, 28301 PHONE: 910-484-6200 FAX: 910-484-9218 Women’s View Magazine is for, by and about women in Cumberland County. Published by F&B Publications in conjunction with Media Marketing Management. ©2022 by F&B Publications, Inc. All rights reserved. Reproduction or use of editorial or advertisement without permission is strictly prohibited. Various vector sources credited to © Freepik and © Vecteezy. Association of Community Publishers

Inside April 4 6 4 WHO’S THE BOSS Meet Anita Surgeon, co-owner of Sweet Valley Ranch of Fayetteville and several other family-run businesses. She is a bright light in Cumberland County. 6 SPRING READS New to WVM is book reviewer Kay Frasier, a retired Fayetteville librarian and life-long lover of good books. She has some great spring reading recommendations for us. 8 12 DEVELOPING YOURSELF 8 When life does not turn out as we pictured, WVM writer Lynne Smith reminds us to let God work out His purposes to fully develop His image for our lives. 12 HAVE GARDEN WILL TRAVEL Whether for a daytrip or a weekend, grab your girlfriends to enjoy 14 a flower feast for the eyes at the local and out-of-town gardens recommended here. 14 EASTER EATS Kalin Williams of the An Abundance of Flavor food blog is back with several egg-cellent recipes to complement your Easter table. Deviled eggs, anyone? 16 16 NOBODY’S PERFECT If you struggle with wanting everything to be perfect, Dr. Rebecca Crain has practical advice and must-read information in this issue’s counselor’s corner. 18 CRAZY ABOUT CRUISING Mary and Dwight Miller have gone on numerous cruises and love this mode of vacationing. Read Mary’s fun reflections and cruise tips before you book. 2218 22 BEEKEEPING BUZZ Got bees? If you do, with a lot of hard work and good luck, you will have honey to eat, share, sell or make into products like candles and lip balm. 24 PROTECTING YOUR PEARLY WHITES Toothpaste is not the only way to clean and take care of your teeth. Regular WVM contributor and Applecrate Wellness Manager Allison 24 27 Davis describes natural alternatives in this April article. 27 WHAT A VISTA: VANDER The “It’s a Woman’s World” series continues its caravan across Cumberland County; this month brings a visit to Vander with resident Dorothy Bullard. 29 PREVENT CHILD ABUSE Child Advocacy Center of Cumberland County board member Julie Lee 29 Jacobs shares the center’s efforts to build family resiliency in recognition of April, National Child Abuse Prevention Month. 2022 APRIL | 3

Who’s the Boss? Anita Surgeon God, Family and Faith First By Victoria Johnson A s I travelled to Sweet Valley Ranch on Sunnyside Frederick Douglas Surgeon. She also offers up stellar School Road in the Cedar Creek area for the first advice for women in business relationships: “Pick your time, I felt transported, as if into a real Hallmark movie. battles when you’re building an empire as a woman. The Picturesque is not a word I use lightly, but driving in woman is the heart of the relationship; the man is the and being warmly greeted by Mrs. Anita Surgeon on head, but the head cannot function without the heart,” the front porch of the ranch Pecan Shop was just that. she shared. Within minutes. I was referring to her in both heart and conversation as “Miss Anita.” Her nurturing presence and Surgeon suggests three things for women who want the business savvy she cultivates alongside her husband success in business as well as life. “I advise having a Fred Surgeon bring the entire ranch to life. relationship with God, being healed and not being easily offended,” she said. Anita Surgeon was born and raised in Red Springs, North Carolina. She attended two historically Black colleges, As a true giver at heart, Surgeon loves the Sweet Valley Johnson C. Smith in Charlotte and Fayetteville State Ranch Gives Back initiative; it is one of her favorite University. Grounded firmly in her faith, this successful philanthropic endeavors. She and her husband are woman is the true definition of a helpmate. She helps her constantly giving back to the community they serve with husband run more businesses than she can she name. scholarships, monetary donations and hands-on help. Comprising Surgeon & Associates Incorporated are the Giving back through her faith as an evangelist, praying business entities of Surgeon Home Services LLC, Crown for and ministering to those in need are also what fills her Management Group, Surgeon Farming Enterprises LLC, heart and calendar. Surgeon has been known to roll up her Premier Healthcare Services LLC and more. sleeves and minister to those in some of the most at-risk communities, providing physical assistance such as food, When talking about her success in her varied roles, coats, blankets and personal assistance in helping persons Surgeon absolutely beams about her role as wife to contact lost loved ones and more. Victoria “Babydoll” Johnson is an American Radio Personality born and raised in Eastern North Carolina. She is a graduate of Carolina School of Broadcasting, in Charlotte, North Carolina. Babydoll colloquially delivers compelling content and information. She connects with listeners not only over the airwaves, but also through social media platforms and in their communities where it counts most. 4 | APRIL 2022

P20O23CCoKmmEuTnitGy DUireIcDtoEry FayWeetlctoemevtiolle 2022 Business & Community Directory Universities Television and & Colleges Radio Stations Local Annual Town of Hope Events Mills & Hope Mills Chamber Frequently Called Numbers Surgeon keeps busy as a loving wife, fur mom, POCKET GUIDE Schools philanthropist, evangelist and businesswoman. As she Public & prepares for spring on the Ranch, she is also working Private on a cookbook and an autobiography. Spring on Sweet Valley Ranch also promises some exciting additions to the Area Health vol. couple’s 300-acre enterprise. Visitors this year will enjoy Facilities 22 go-karts and a massive inflatable park in addition to the venue’s regular offerings. WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM I was amazed to know that the most visited ranch in County • City-Wide • County-Wide Museums the Cumberland County community started with the Libraries • on Ft. Bragg • and I-95 & Galleries Surgeons thinking the parcel would simply be a lovely place to build a home. Their home site has since grown Local Festivals 18 Month Parks & Live Theatre into a community gem, offering entertainment not only Calendar Recreation as an animal park home to farm critters, birds and reptiles but also as a seasonal adventure hotspot for the whole nline 24/7 family. Year-round events at the ranch include Dinosaur World, Tiny's Corn Maze, Backwoods Terror Ranch and a FREE to Residents, Businesses and Organizations holiday Festival of Lights that shines brightly enough to throughout our Community light up I-95. Reserve your Full Page Ad NOW in the 2023 Pocket Guide. The brightest light I found at Sweet Valley Ranch, however, was Mrs. Anita Surgeon. Her presence feels like a warm For More Information Call 910-484-6200 hug from a loved one. She ensures that every living thing on the ranch feels loved — employees, animals, visitors and www.upandcomingweekly.com most of all, her husband. Mathew 7:15 reads “Ye shall know them by their fruit\"; the Surgeons’ endeavors bring forth an abundance of good fruit. According to Anita Surgeon, success in all their businesses boil down to two things. “Gratitude and good stewardship,” she said with a smile. 2022 APRIL | 5

RSperaindginignto Spring has sprung along and book lover who is happy to with a garden of great reads share her penchant for reading By Kay Frasier recommended for you by new with you. So, pull up a lawn chair Women’s View Magazine book to soak up a little sun now that reviewer, Kay Frazier. While Kay is warmer weather is here and sink new to WVM, she is a long-time into Kay’s suggested titles. Fayetteville resident, educator Caroline: Little House, Revisited that outranks all other pioneer recommend it for those By Sarah Miller women in the literary world. She who consider themselves Little learns to tap into the strength House enthusiasts or readers of Caroline is a first-person account and determination she did not historical fiction. of the pioneer adventures of the know she possessed as trials and Ingalls family, as seen through the challenges occur along the journey. eyes of its matriarch, Caroline \"Ma\" She is pregnant with her third Ingalls. It gives the reader a look at child through the journey, which the challenges and joys that the provides an additional amount of family experienced as they began anxiety and uncertainty for her. their first travels leaving the Big Woods of Wisconsin to settle in the I have spent the last 18 months new frontier of Kansas. This work engulfed in everything Little House of historical fiction takes the reader and the Ingalls family. The reading into the innermost thoughts of of the eight-volume series by Laura Caroline Ingalls and gives a different Ingalls Wilder, watching the entire perspective of frontier life. The view nine seasons of the TV series, and of an adult, a mother and wife, reading numerous other books on contrasts with the original Little the lives of the Ingalls and Wilder House books written from a young families. I wish to travel the Ingallls girl’s perspective. This book follows family route to visit museums and the original series closely, so scenes restored homesites dedicated to and events will be familiar to Little the pioneer family that has touched House fans. I feel Caroline Ingalls is many lives throughout the last the model of a resilient, courageous, 80-plus years. This book ends and persevering pioneer woman my reading journey, and I highly Small Great Things years of experience who suddenly By Jodi Picoult finds herself at the mercy of the justice system. The author carries This #1 New York Times Bestseller the story with each chapter using is a riveting page-turner that narratives of each major character. addresses the issues of racism, From beginning to end, Jodi Picoult discrimination, power and privilege. delivers yet another fantastic Main character Ruth Jefferson faces can't-put-it-down read. She tackles the moral dilemma of attending prejudice, race and compassion to the health crisis of a baby with empathy and candor. An boy born to white supremacist excellent choice for book clubs, parents who gave orders for Ruth the read is available in hardcover, to not touch their child under paperback, Kindle and on any circumstances. Ruth, who is audiobook with Audra McDonald African American, is a labor and as the narrator. It is also a soon-to- delivery nurse with more than 20 be major motion picture. Kay Frazier is a retired elementary-school-level media specialist. She calls Virginia Beach home but has lived in Fayetteville all her adult life. She loves reading, gardening, puzzling and being a grandma. 6 | APRIL 2022

First Frost is preoccupied with the adolescent By Sarah Addison Allen angst of her teenage daughter and with trying to have another child. “A happily-ever-after is never the A mysterious stranger arrives in real ending to a story; sometimes, town and brings challenges to the it’s where the real story begins.\" siblings’ lives, causing the Waverly This line from Garden Spells, the women to question themselves. prequel to the novel, First Frost, The Waverly House, the garden sets the tone for what is to come and the \"magical\" apple tree all in this new read by author Sarah take on personalities of their own, Addison Allen. First Frost is a becoming characters in the story. whimsical, magical enchantment and one that stands alone with a Sarah Addison Allen, a New York new storyline revolving around the Times bestselling author born and Waverly sisters of Bascom, North raised in Asheville, North Carolina, Carolina. Bascom is a fictional town describes her fictional writing where siblings Claire and Sydney style as \"a taste of Southern-fried are well-known businesswomen. magic realism.\" The author includes While Claire is immersed in a new several recipes at the end of this venture of making homemade book, reading group questions and candies with homeopathic a bonus Epilogue. I hope you enjoy qualities, her happily married sister this magical, whimsical tale. The Official Downton The recipes in this book, taken from Abbey Cookbook original recipes published or written By Annie Gray between 1875-1930, reflect English and French cooking and other The Downton Abbey Cookbook is a influences found on the Downton collection of Edwardian-era recipes, Abbey tables, upstairs where the a nod to the time when aristocracy estate owners dined and also defined life in England. As downstairs in the servants’ quarters. portrayed in the PBS Masterpiece Beautiful illustrations of the finished Theater series, Downton Abbey, dish accompany most recipes. The dinners of the day consisted of most enjoyable features of this delicacies prepared and served exquisite book are the photographs by servants in the upstairs dining of scenes and characters of the rooms of castles and stately popular series that captivated fans mansions. Notable food historian for six seasons across the globe. Annie Gray shares recipes used This book is a beautiful addition to in the show and accompanying any cookbook collection, especially historical notes about the Downton Abbey fans. Bon Appetit! ingredients and customs of the period in this official cookbook. 2022 APRIL | 7

Picture This By Lynne Smith Who remembers the old Polaroid cameras? cameras that digital technology offers on our phones The small cameras with film took, developed today, we didn't get to look at the image and make and printed photos in seconds. Remember the sure everything and everyone was picture-perfect anticipation of waiting for the image as it took before hitting delete and doing a retake. We had shape? The hope that the result would be to be patient and wait, trusting that the partially “picture-perfect?” complete picture would, in time, fully develop. Then we could truly see. American scientist Edwin H. Land founded the Polaroid Corporation in 1937. The company was Real-life can be much like that partially responsible for cameras and several other products, underdeveloped picture. Life doesn't always turn including 3D movies and glare-reducing goggles out as we think it will. And although we may be for dogs. They even played a part in World War II grateful for the life we have, it may not unfold the as they provided products for the armed services. way we desire or envision. At that point, we can get But it was not until 1944, while Edwin Land was on trapped in our disappointment, or we can trust in vacation with his family, that the idea took root in the master developer. his mind for an instant camera. The invention began as a request from his three-year-old daughter, who God sees and knows it all from beginning to end – questioned why she could not see the picture he He's got the big picture. He knows what it will take to had just taken of her on his camera. Within a day, conform me to the image He has planned, the result that attentive father fathomed an idea that would He has designed just for me. fulfill his daughter's wish and give the world the first Polaroid camera. In His way and time, God does develop me by growing my faith, although I may not see or realize As exciting as the first Polaroid cameras were, the it at the time. I often want to mature through a most difficult part was the wait time required for “picture-perfect” life, free from any pain or suffering. the complete picture to develop. Sometimes those Thankfully, God knows better. I am shortsighted; pictures didn’t turn out as we thought. Unlike the God is not. He knows that often it is the things that Lynne Smith is a Fayetteville native who worships with her family at Snyder Memorial Baptist Church. She has a hard-working husband of 37 years, two sons who aim to be just like their dad, two God-given beautiful daughters and two very well-loved grandsons. She is in her seventh year serving as a Snyder MOPS mentor. 8 | APRIL 2022

BOONE TRAIL $300 GOLDEN EGG GIVEAWAY we suffer that make us gain wisdom and grow HOME OF THE 30-MINUTE WORKOUT spiritually. And when you think about it, our faith never completely perfects on Earth. CLASSES My life is God’s developing picture. At times, just Monday - Thursday: like that three-year-old daughter, I get so impatient 5:30am/6:15am/8am/ 10:30am waiting. I struggle more with what I don’t see 4pm/4:45pm/5:30pm/6:15pm developing rather than seeking to apply what God has already shown me. Other times, I don’t like the Friday: progressing picture. But regardless, I can always 5:30am/6:15am/8am/8:45/10:30am remember the loving nature of my heavenly Father. I can call upon Scripture to help me accept things I Saturday: would never choose in my picture. I can remember 8am/8:40am the assurance I have in God’s promises. I can bring my honest questions to God with a heart that Sassy Seniors: expects Him to give me not what I pictured but what He deems best. I can rejoice, have hope and Tues/Thurs 10 am • Sat 9:30 am still praise my Father when the picture doesn’t turn out the way I thought it would. I can thank Him Each NEW Membership comes for His “perfect picture” that He set in motion long with a TICKET that will enter the before I ever discern the image. And I can frame that picture I have been given and trust God to make it GOLDEN EGG RAFFLE crystal clear and “picture-perfect” in His time. DINAH GOODMAN So, can you picture this? God has His Polaroid, and He knows the complete picture He has in mind. Master Coach Personal Trainer He’s saying \"cheese,\" much like my two-year-old grandson KW. God never accomplishes His image 3039 Boone Trail Ext. • 910-889-1155 without some degree of suffering on my part. But that is okay; He’s got His eye on the time it’s taking to www.facebook.com/FitBodyBooneTrail/ develop, and in large part, that development of my 2022 APRIL | 9 character is directly proportionate to my willingness to submit to His process. He knows precisely when my picture will fully develop and can’t wait to show me the finished product. His “flawless, complete picture” is worth the wait. Thank goodness for the farsighted, perfect love of the Father Who continues to develop me.

Every day, people in our community need a hero. Be a hero. Donate blood. 3357 Village Drive, Fayetteville All blood donations to Cape Fear Valley Blood Donor across from the Emergency Department Center stay in our community to help local patients. For more information on how you can be a hero, please call (910) 615-LIFE or visit www.savingliveslocally.org 10 | A P R I L 2 0 2 2

Save your Face One Exercise at a Time A staff report Hundreds of billions of dollars are spent each year on anti- aging and anti-wrinkling treatments in an effort to improve one’s appearance and mask potential signs of aging. The global anti-aging market is valued at over $200 billion. Although medical procedures and products sold at drug stores and by cosmetics retailers have their benefits, exercise also may provide some benefits, especially as it pertains to one’s face and appearance. Just as it is possible to tone the body, one also can tone the muscles in the face to improve his or her appearance. Brands like Face Yoga and counter the effects of age-related says to try a facial movement FaceXercise promote facial fat thinning and skin loosening in where you look like you’re going exercises that reduce the the face. to laugh or smile but don’t appearance of wrinkles and fine actually follow through. This lines without the need for more Some people are skeptical of raises eyebrows and targets those invasive procedures. Proponents facial exercise, while others muscles and the ones by the ears of Face Yoga, which is a series emphasize caution in regard to that pull the skin back. Adopting of exercises performed most which exercises are chosen. Some a neutral face at rest is helpful as it days of the week for about 20 dermatologists warn that pulling helps prevent wrinkled brow and minutes a day, say it will tone the face in the wrong directions lines from frowning. underlying muscles and help through exercise actually may improve blood circulation. Fans speed up the process of wrinkling The jury is still out as to the attest that the movements also and premature aging, making efficacy of facial exercise for may encourage the production of face exercises a trend to avoid. wrinkle reduction. Combining collagen, which is the protein that facial stretching with a healthy keeps skin elastic and gives it its People who are currently on diet and use of sunscreen and plump feeling. The face contains the fence may want to focus on resolving to stay hydrated 57 muscles that can be worked movements that will strengthen might help reduce the gently to see results. facial muscles. Doris Day, M.D., appearance of aging. author of the book, Skinfluence, A new Northwestern Medicine 2022 APRIL | study published in JAMA Dermatology is the first scientific study to test the premise of facial exercise and its effects on appearance. The study found that a daily or alternate-day 30-minute facial exercise program sustained over 20 weeks improved the facial appearance of middle-aged women, resulting in a younger appearance with fuller upper and lower cheeks. The idea is that building muscle volume can 11

Girlfriend Getaway In Search of Spring By Alena Barosa \"Living in color\" is camps and events to help you engage in it all. the phrase we often hear in spring and summer On 80 acres between when the colors seem to the Cape Fear River pop up simultaneously and Cross Creek east from nowhere and of downtown, CFBG everywhere. Nature offers guests the chance embraces us in its to explore nature’s exuberance; human- wonders, whether part made bursts of color of an organized trip or as consume us. a single visitor searching for solace. Try a Tuesday When the cold air morning Tai Chi class or completely departs and Thursday evenings yoga the bulbs planted last session for an outing year produce pops of with a friend. Your furry color, why not reconnect pets are welcome in with your girlfriends the garden on April 23, and take a simple 2022, from 11 a.m. – 4 adventure? While some p.m. Gardenmania, a gorgeousness is right favorite of kids, happens around the corner in May 14. Come June 4, our backyards, others you can let your children require a short drive. enjoy art, nature and tremendous fun in Viewing flora in the garden at the Fayetteville Pondamania event. One beauty in Fayetteville Technical Fayetteville’s backyard Community College, is Cape Fear Botanical nestled in the heart of Garden, circa 1989. Fayetteville, is home Since its early days, the to several parks and garden has become fitness spaces, a splash home to many local and pad for your little exotic plants, colorful froggies, the famous butterflies and helpful green duck pond, and insects, along with its ever-popular rose educational classes, garden. The garden wellness activities, Alena Barosa is in the second year of a Ph.D. program studying behavior analysis. She works at Autism Therapeutic Services and has an 8-year-old son. Together they have two cats, one small pup, five chickens and a few foster cats waiting for their forever home. 2 0 2 2 A P R I L | 12

showcases over 1,000 environmentally months and even Gardens at America’s rose bushes and other sustainable landscapes, charms visitors with a largest home, Biltmore flora, a peaceful gazebo, colorful and trolley tour. Estate, is worth the fountains and a quiet contemporary gardens, miles. Explore the place to celebrate the miles of recreational Further away from 8000-acre estate and local beauty, absolutely trails and a terraced Fayetteville, you will garden combo in the free. As a bonus, an on- pond. This Raleigh gem discover Airlie Gardens, a Blue Ridge Mountains of staff horticulturist hosts can inspire the artist, 67-acre pubic garden in Asheville. Built by George rose talks upon request. scientist, beekeeper and Wilmington. It presents Vanderbilt between Grab some girlfriends, horticulturist in you. It visitors with unmatched 1889 and 1895, Biltmore smell the flowers, find is worth the short drive unison of the beauty is a place of incredible the harmony and learn to grab lunch and then created by humans and splendor, history and about nature’s wonders. venture through the nature. Airlie is home intrigue. Each spring, the interesting art space to the stunning Bottle grounds and gardens Out of town snuggled among the Chapel, the centerpiece are exciting, with the eco-trips trees, bushes and fields of the Minnie Evans remarkable annual of wildflowers. Sculpture Garden, a display of blooms. If taking a car trip is tribute to the late artist The spring festival of possible, a few nearby More beauty awaits you and gatekeeper at Airlie flowers features tens locations are must-sees. at the Sarah P. Duke Gardens. Lilacs, tulips, of thousands of tulips, The North Carolina Gardens in Durham. pentas, azaleas and daffodil and hyacinth Museum of Art in Located on the campus Spanish moss surround blooms. What’s more, Raleigh transforms of Duke University, this this amazing structure you’ll find period regular guests into art site provides acres of built from colored exhibits detailing the aficionados every single world-class gardens for bottles. Come view the life of the Vanderbilts, day with its extraordinary your enjoyment. Its tall seasonal Butterfly House, the glass Conservatory, art collection spanning luscious arborvitaes, Native Wildlife Exhibit, remarkable art thousands of years. The fragrant flowering spectacular gardens, exhibitions, an award- art extends outside the shrubs, terraces, ponds, seasonal blooms, mighty winning winery, nature building in The Ann and bridges, walking trails live oaks, walking trails trails and much more. Jim Goodnight Museum and specialty gardens and historic structures. Park, an outdoor gallery are all too beautiful The gardens are open Whether your girlfriends connecting art, nature not to experience. This with paid admission are homebodies or avid and people to encourage unique space hosts daily to the public to travelers, grab them this creative experiences many hobby classes, roam independently or spring and say, “Let’s and human interactions. such as photography partake of a guided tour. go!” Breathe in the It features temporary and gardening, offers sweet smell of spring and permanent public a variety of concerts If you are up for a longer flowers; breath out the art installations by throughout the summer ride, Biltmore Estate winter blues. international artists, 2 0 2 2 A P R I L | 13

Eats for Easter By Kalin Williams By the time Easter rolls around, spring has officially sprung! As the days grow longer and warmer, farm-fresh fruits and vegetables are thriving, which means lots of great produce for your meals. Whether made for Easter dinner or for a busy weeknight meal, these recipes truly shine this time of year. Try these unique dishes this year instead of the conventional ham and mashed potatoes. SPICY JALAPENO • 2 tablespoons Slice each egg in half. combined. DEVILED EGGS sriracha divided remove the yolk and Fill egg whites with the Serves: 12 place into a medium filling using a spoon • 1 teaspoon salt bowl. Mix in mayo, or icing pipe. Top with Spicy Jalapeno Deviled • Cilantro leaves for mustard, jalapeno, 1 remaining sriracha, Eggs will have your taste tablespoon of sriracha breadcrumbs and buds tingling. Mixed garnish and salt. Stir until cilantro to garnish. with classic mayo and • Breadcrumbs for mustard, a fine balance is achieved between garnish spicy and creamy to be a favorite among all ages. Instructions Be sure to make plenty Place the eggs in a large because these deviled pot filled with water eggs disappear quickly! until covered and bring to a boil. Once boiling, Ingredients remove the pot from • 6 eggs heat and cover. Let sit for • 3 tablespoon mayo 10 minutes. • 1 teaspoon mustard • 1 jalapeno minced Drain the water and transfer the eggs to an ice bath. After 10 minutes, peel the eggs. UNSTUFFED INSTANT • 1 carrot diced POT CABBAGE ROLLS • 1 tablespoon olive oil Serves: 4 • 6 ounces Unstuffed Instant mushrooms, sliced Pot Cabbage Rolls thinly Unstuffed is a quick • 1 pound ground and deconstructed turkey take on a beloved dish. • 2 teaspoons salt or to Chop up those cabbage taste leaves and cook in a rich, • 1 teaspoon pepper meaty tomato sauce for • ½ tablespoon garlic a dinner bowl that will powder rock your world. Your • 1 tablespoon thyme family will enjoy this • ½ tablespoon red Irish-infused meal all pepper flakes spring long. • 1 can tomato sauce, 15-ounces Ingredients • 1 cup beef broth • 1 onion diced • 1 small head of cabbage roughly Through her food blog, Abundance of Flavor, Kalin Williams loves encouraging others in the kitchen to step out of their comfort zones and try something new. A Fayetteville native now living in Chapel Hill, she loves trying new restaurants and exploring different cuisines. Connect with her and find recipes and cooking tips at AbundanceofFlavor.com. 14 | A P R I L 2 0 2 2

chopped flakes. Cook until no • 1 cup cooked rice longer pink. • Green onions Turn off the sauté for garnish function and pour in the tomato sauce and beef Instructions broth. Close the lid and Set the Instant Pot to Pressure Cook for the sauté function. Add 15 minutes. onions, carrots and olive oil and cook until soft, Quick-release the Instant about 5 minutes. Add Pot and add in the mushrooms; cook for an cabbage. Cook for an additional 1-2 minutes. additional 5 minutes and then quick release. Carefully add the ground turkey to the pot and Stir in cooked rice, top stir. Season with salt, with green onions, and pepper, garlic powder, serve right away. thyme and red pepper BALSAMIC ROASTED sprouts fall off if you'd like. medium heat. BRUSSEL SPROUTS • 3 tablespoons olive In a large bowl, toss Sauté for 3-4 minutes. Serves: 4 Brussel sprouts in olive oil oil, salt, and pepper. Add balsamic vinegar Balsamic roasted Brussel • 2 tablespoon salt, sea Add to a sheet pan. If and honey, stirring sprouts are the perfect using extra leaves, add frequently. Bring to a side dish for a hearty salt preferred to another pan or piece boil and quickly reduce dinner. Served with • 1 tablespoon black of foil. to a simmer. Stir often. sweet potatoes, balsamic Simmer for 15-20 roasted Brussel sprouts pepper After 15 minutes, remove minutes or until the give me major fall vibes. • 2 cloves garlic, the extra leaves. Flip glaze reaches a Packed with flavor and the Brussels over and thick consistency. crisp from the oven, minced continue roasting for 20 these Brussels are best • 1/2 cup balsamic minutes or until brown. Pour balsamic glaze served hot and fresh all over Brussel sprouts year round. vinegar While the Brussel fresh from the oven and • 2 tablespoons honey sprouts are roasting, serve immediately. add garlic and a splash Instructions of olive oil to a pan over Heat oven to 425 degrees Fahrenheit. Ingredients Cut Brussel sprouts in • 2 cups Brussel half. Reserve leaves that HOMEMADE • ½ cup shredded stir well until CORNBREAD cheddar cheese combined. WITHOUT (optional) CORNMEAL Add the corn (and Serves: 12 Instructions jalapeno if used) to Preheat oven to 400 the food processor Ingredients degrees Fahrenheit. and chop for about • 2 eggs 30 seconds. • ½ cup milk In a medium bowl, • ½ cup honey whisk eggs, milk, Stir into the batter • 8 tablespoons honey and butter. and mix well. butter, melted In a large bowl, mix Pour the batter into • 2 cups flour flour, baking powder a lined or heavily • 1 tablespoon and salt. greased muffin pan. baking powder Combine the Bake for 25 minutes • 1 teaspoon salt wet mixture and or until the tops are • 1 can of corn, the dry mixture in golden brown. the large bowl, and 15 ounces 2 0 2 2 A P R I L | 15 • 1 jalapeno, diced (optional)

The Picture-Perfect Predicament By Dr. Rebecca Crain you focus your attention on learning new ways to Do you picture yourself with cope when perfectionism the perfect job, perfect family, appears to be getting in the perfect home, perfect life? way or causing distress. Are you a perfectionist? The shoe might fit if any or all of The two faces of Annoyance and impatience rule the qualities, traits or behaviors perfectionism the roost. listed below describe you. Perfectionism has internal Internally Externally • People-please for fear and external focus points Focused Focused of rejection. — summarized in the table to the right. When focused Avoid risks Frustrated with • Feel angry, sad or anxious internally, perfectionism the effort of when things aren’t perfect. can cause us to feel not Worry what others good enough, as though others might • Quit your dreams early, something is bad or wrong think if they Disappointed feeling it’s not worth pursuing deep down. Behaviorally, learned about when others them imperfectly. we become risk-averse personal flaws do not live and worry about what up to some • Procrastinate for fear of others might think if they Hard on unrealistic, starting something that won’t discover those internal themselves unattainable be perfect. flaws. Inwardly focused standard perfectionists maintain a Feel not good • Criticize yourself for making facade outside, working to hide enough Can mistakes or not reaching the incompetency. The inwardly micromanage perfect standard. focused perfectionists are others hard on themselves and find • Work endless hours until errors intolerable. Errors lead to Feel you meet your self-imposed humiliation, insomnia, avoidance/ dissatisfied high standards. withdrawal and distress of this easily and type. No matter what they do, experience According to the American nothing is ever good enough. tension in Psychological Association, It might be ok for others to relationships perfectionism is the tendency make mistakes, but it is due to this to demand of others or oneself unacceptable personally. an extremely high or even flawless level of performance On the other hand, the outwardly over what is required by the focused perfectionist becomes situation. Perfection can be an frustrated and preoccupied impossible ideal, yet we chase with rigid, unrealistic standards relentlessly nonetheless. The they impose on those around pursuit of perfectionism is a them. They can micromanage double-edged sword and one or become dissatisfied easily, wielded by a desire to do well causing tension in their and a fear of the consequences relationships with others. of underperformance. Putting Externally focused perfectionists in effort and demonstrating feel OK about themselves but consistent worth ethic is often feel disappointed in others. important. Attention to detail can Interpersonal problems develop be a source of pride. with others at home and work. This article will help you identify the situations when perfectionism causes hurt. It will also help Rebecca Crain is a licensed psychologist in Fayetteville serving military children and families. 16 | A P R I L 2 0 2 2

Too much of a good thing: can become problematic. Maladaptive perfectionism Furthermore, perfectionism can be hard when we set too high Perfectionism can drive you to standards that cause emotional achieve your goals and work wear and tear; you do not reach hard, or it can paralyze you, your goal and are unhappy. like in the case of maladaptive Additionally, an ugly side to perfectionism. These perfectionism exists, plagued perfectionists are commonly with desperate attempts to detail-oriented, rigid in their avoid mistakes, endless pursuits rules and high in their need for of people-pleasing and a fear structure and, maintaining high of failure. standards — for self and others — avoid mistakes, have low self- Relationally, it is hard to love RO DBT teaches skills that help confidence, are preoccupied with or be loved by a perfectionist. you feel safe, allowing you to neatness and organization, are Isolation replaces connection, adapt to a changing environment plagued by self-doubt and have and impatience takes the place of more readily. Mindfulness skills low trust in others. Overcontrol compassion in these bonds. Often, and cultivating healthy self- is a core feature, whether trying most perfectionists feel isolated doubt help you stay in a flexible to control themselves, their and compelled to suffer in silence. mindset. Perfectionists often feel environment or their people. Maladaptive perfectionism can uncomfortable and incapable of be mild or debilitating and can facilitating intimacy. RO DBT uses the science of social signaling to enhance your ability to connect with others. By cultivating and skillfully applying vulnerability to your social interactions, you can improve your connections with others. Perfectionism can be too much of negatively impact your quality Relaxation, play, socializing and a good thing in these cases. of life. Some psychological openly expressing emotions are disorders frequently co-occur essential in developing a healthier In psychology, a law known as the with perfectionism, namely relationship with the self and, Yerkes-Dodson Law describes the depression, anxiety disorders such eventually, with others. You might curvilinear relationship between as obsessive-compulsive disorder, try the following alternatives performance and stress. The eating disorders and even when perfectionism seems to Yerkes-Dodson Law, as shown in personality disorders like be getting in the way or the graph below, illustrates that an obsessive-compulsive causing distress. too little or too much pressure personality disorder. is detrimental to performance. • Cultivate a growth mindset. We find that deadlines motivate Overcoming perfectionism • Be kind to yourself. You us enough to get started and complete tasks. Many of us In my clinical practice, I offer a will make mistakes just as have plenty of experience with style of therapy called Radically everyone else does. succumbing to too much Open Dialectical Behavioral • Start with the easiest step of pressure in the case where you Therapy (RO DBT) to help combat the task so you can get going. stay up all night, drink too much maladaptive perfectionism. The • Make small and unimportant caffeine and end up failing the treatment focuses on three core mistakes on purpose. test. But, a proverbial “sweet spot” components of mental health: exists where performance and openness, flexibility and social References stress are optimized. connectedness. Exposure helps https://dictionary.apa.org/ you to take new risks and accept perfectionism If you feel self-conscious and critical feedback. Flexibility https://hbr.org/2016/04/are-you- dissatisfied with your efforts or enables you to break free from too-stressed-to-be-productive-or- the efforts of others, perfectionism perfectionism and rigidity. Social not-stressed-enough connectedness reduces isolation. 2 0 2 2 A P R I L | 17

Tranquil Travels on Serene Seas By Mary Miller From the beginning of time, beautiful part of the world. This This class is an upgrade that we water, its feel, sound, smell was our sixth sailing with the feel is very much worth the price. and sight, has been a source cruise line, Celebrity, a highly of terror or pure relaxation. I’ve recommended brand for a My husband and I are retired experienced both. When living vacation centered on grown-up now, so our schedule has eased in North Carolina, hurricanes and experiences. Adults of all ages up a bit. Previously we flew to Ft. the water they brought down the onboard enjoy fine dining, good Lauderdale, boarded ship, enjoyed Cape Fear River were a source of music, slow dancing and a nice our week away from the hustle terror for some of my neighbors. quiet comfortable stateroom. and bustle of the work world and I learned to respect the damage That being said, other cruise lines flew back only to face the work water can do. A recent cruise specialize in kids’ offerings, so if world on Monday morning. The experience, however, was one of that is the experience you are cruise was well worth the tight pure relaxation. The Caribbean after, research to find what suits. schedules there and back. exudes an easy-going way of life. Its waters rock one to sleep at On Celebrity, I recommend sailing Our last two cruises have been in night when sailing to the islands. in the aqua class on the Celebrity our retirement, proving to be even As Kenneth Grahame exclaimed line which offers a few extra more relaxing and enjoyable due in The Wind in the Willows, “There amenities, such as: to a more relaxed schedule before is nothing — absolutely nothing • room selection on and post-cruise. — half so much worth doing as simply messing about in boats!” higher floors, Cruising the Western and Eastern • access to spa areas, Caribbean has been a great Cruise reflections • an exclusive restaurant choice, experience. We have learned so • an afternoon snack in much about our neighbors to the My husband and I recently sailed south and in Panama. We have to visit some of the southeastern your room and also learned a lot about cruising! • bottled water brought to islands in this your room. Mary Miller is a retired Cumberland County School teacher who loves to travel. She and her husband Dwight, the former Chief Financial Officer at PWC, recently relocated to Georgia to be closer to family. 18 | A P R I L 2 0 2 2

Our greatest learning experience Our recent trip to the islands of many more exotic choices happened when we celebrated the Caribbean was a learning each night. We enjoyed eggs both our retirements and our experience. We toured a garden Benedict many mornings, along 45th wedding anniversary by in St. Lucia where we picked and with freshly squeezed juices, cruising through the Panama hulled nutmeg from trees that smoothies and fruit parfaits! Our Canal Zone. We flew to San Diego, were loaded with the fragrant dining experience was made even California, boarded our ship and spice. We learned that cinnamon more enjoyable by those we met cruised down the Mexican Rivera, is made from the bark of a tree. from across our nation and world. taking excursions all the way. We When harvested from the trunk, rode camels down the beach it rolls up to form the sticks you Honestly, I think our butler, Oki, in Cabo San Lucas and visited a purchase in the grocery store. was a ghost! We never saw him coffee farm in Puerto Quetzal, unless we needed him and Guatemala. A visit to the Embera We swam on a sand bar out in the somehow our room got serviced Tribe in Colon, Panama, exposed ocean with stingrays in the wild no matter what time of day before us to an entirely different culture and rode on a small gauge train we returned. Bed made, candy than ours. The people there that was used in former times to on pillows, clothes folded, etc., graciously welcomed us into their haul sugarcane around the island etc. Always waiting in our room in open-air homes on stilts. of St. Kitts. We were surrounded the afternoon, just in time, was a by the black sand volcano gourmet snack and room service On that cruise was an American beaches with waves breaking for any meal was always an option. who had grown up in the Canal against them on the Atlantic side Oki was on call. Zone. His passion was to share the of the island and the peaceful history of the zone and some of clear waters on the Caribbean side The evening shows offered varied the experiences he had growing of the island. We passed bat caves, world-class entertainment. up there. He talked daily for about palm trees loaded with coconuts Singers, magicians, musicians an hour, sharing pictures, maps and friendly natives wishing us and floor shows were a sampling and the interesting history of well from their back porches. of what we experienced on this building the passageway that cruise. The after-hours venues some thought was an impossible The excursions are only the tip of were scattered ship-wide, and undertaking. It prepared us for the iceberg on a cruise. Sailing opportunities for good music and the crossing and gave us a deep days take you to a place where dancing were everywhere. We respect for the ability to even go your every wish is the crew’s chose not to buy a drink package, through the canal. He also “talked command. Five-star restaurants but for those who enjoy good us through” the canal as we await you every night, allowing wine and other types of spirits, sailed, he pointed out features we passengers to have wonderful those were available 24/7. There would never have noticed. I highly lobster, filet mignon, escargot was even a sommelier in our recommend this trip. and baked Alaska, not to mention choice of restaurants every night 2 0 2 2 A P R I L | 19

to help one make his/her several tops; leave such items behind wine choice. • a lightweight neutral color at departure. I’m sure others have had cruising jacket for chilly evenings; Things to consider experiences, from a day cruise • a Tide Pen for clothing spills; • Basic Wi-Fi is free on Celebrity offshore to a European getaway, • good walking shoes; even possibly back-to-back • dress, pool and beach shoes; but was very slow. Upgrades cruises around the world. It • Gallon-size Ziplock bags for are available for a fee. has been our pleasure to meet • Check with your cell phone some of the most interesting packing damp things; provider about international people from all walks of life from • a small crossbody bag to carry calling plans. Verizon charges around the world. We enjoy so $10 per usage day in the much getting to know them your wallet and phone in; Caribbean, Mexico and and discovered that some have • a backpack for keeping Central America. cruised for years and had many • Park and ride hotels are very more international cruising medicines and a few helpful if you drive to the city experiences than we. I think they necessities close by during of your departure. The parking enjoy our Southern accents and transfers and at other fee is well worth it. the stories of our simple life as times when separated • Check to make sure there is a well. It’s interesting to discover from your luggage; courtesy van from your hotel we all have so much more in • a small purse-sized or clip-on to the ship boarding area. common than we thought. bottle of hand sanitizer; • If flying, it’s a great idea to • and a credit card, but be sure arrive the day before your In closing, I’d highly recommend to carry cash in case. sailing and stay in a hotel the cruising experience. Here are near your departure area. some basic tips that have helped What not to pack Most all have shuttles to the us along the way. departure area. This list includes things you don’t • If you’ve never booked a What to pack need and are available on the ship. cruise, I advise using AAA or You can leave at home the another travel agency to assist While not exhaustive, this list of • shampoo, conditioner, soap; you with your booking. things to bring on a cruise will • blow dryer and clean towels; help you pack. Be sure to bring • beach towels; Now get on down to your favorite • your passport; • beach bag, (at least on port city, jump on a ship and sail • two changes of nice clothes away to a world of pampering, sun Celebrity Cruises they are and relaxation. See you on deck! for special nights at sea; provided): • neutral pants and shorts and • excessive clothing; 20 | A P R I L 2 0 2 2 • and also excessive jewelry, especially the fine kind; safes are in the staterooms, but you wouldn't want to forget and

Hydrate and Refresh Dry Skin A staff report Dehydrated skin is among the many causes of facial wrinkling, which also can be caused by smoking, environmental factors and UV exposure. Aging skin doesn’t produce as much collagen and elastin, which allows skin to spring back into place, as it once did. Conditions like dry, dehydrated skin may make wrinkles appear worse. Treating dehydration and dryness may reduce wrinkles and refresh dry skin, giving it a more youthful appearance. Those who want to treat dry, dehydrated skin must • Avoid too many alcoholic beverages. Alcoholic understand the difference between hydration and drinks are diuretics that can cause the body to moisturizing as it applies to skincare. According lose water, advises WebMD. to Annemarie Gianni, a skincare aesthetician and creator of Annemarie Skin Care, hydrating skin • Use a humidifier indoors to amp up the moisture means increasing its water content by increasing level in the air. the amount of water contained in skin cells. This can result in a healthy, plump complexion. Skin • Enjoy water-rich foods, like watermelon, that is properly hydrated will keep fine lines and cucumber, grapes and other succulent fruits and wrinkles from being overly apparent. vegetables. Moisturizing skin involves applying a lubricant that • Drink the recommended amount of water per mimics naturally produced lipids and oils in the skin day, and limit your consumption of caffeinated that will protect and soothe. and sugary beverages. Hydration and moisturizing often work hand-in- • Work out to improve blood flow and oxygenation hand. In addition to drinking plenty of water to in the skin. hydrate the skin from the inside out, individuals can use products — known as humectants — that • Try a facial essence. Facial essences are a contain hyaluronic acid, glycerin and sodium principle of Japanese beauty regimens and hyaluronate. In addition, the National Center of contain fermented ingredients that support skin Biotechnology Information says that aloe can penetration and hydration. improve water content in the skin. Once water is bound to the skin, a moisturizer will prevent the Anyone concerned about dehydrated or dry water from leaving it. Look for moisturizers with natural oils and butters to help retain moisture, like skin can get further advice about treating the cocoa butter. problem by speaking with a qualified dermatologist The following are some additional methods to maximize hydration and moisturize skin. or aesthetician. • Take warm showers, as hot water can strip the natural lipids from skin and cause dryness. 2 0 2 2 A P R I L | 21

let live, as they say, and you will be around another day. Beekeeping Is honey as good for you as What Is the Buzz All About? everyone says? Yes and no. It stays good for virtually forever partially TBy Amy Kendrat Will humanity, as we know it due to some of its antibacterial housands of years ago in the perish, if we are unsuccessful properties, but interestingly Arana Cave near Valencia, in saving the honeybee? In my enough cannot be fed to children Spain, an artist created the opinion, no, but the pollination under the age of one for fear of first-known painting depicting honeybees provide helps reduce botulism. Recently found to be man’s quest for a certain golden our food costs. Thousands of other just as good as dextromethorphan elixir. The precious resource pollinators exist including other for a sore throat, honey has value comes from an insect we all know species of bees, insects, birds and for medicinal purposes. Ancient well here in North Carolina; it’s our even some mammals. To some, peoples knew this and used it state insect, the honeybee. honeybees, original to Europe, as medicine and for making might be considered an invasive mummies. Though it contains Fast forward to the present day, a lot of sugar, antioxidants and where so often we hear “save the trace minerals are present, as are bees,” with the insistence that trace amounts of heavy metals. our failure to do so will result in a Research has found honey to have decrease in one-third of human cancer-fighting properties, as well. food resources. The public is constantly bombarded with These properties may make misinformation as to the future honey seem like a cure-all, a of this vital pollinator. modern-day snake oil. While honey has been used medicinally What is all the hype about? As species. What about so-called, through the ages, this author a beekeeper, I have found “killer bees?” While they do exist in encourages readers to default on myself asking similar questions. some Southern states, the more the side of modern medicine. I dug a little deeper into the Africanized bees are only trying to concerns regarding our beloved protect their resources. Live and Bees in my backyard Apis mellifera. My journey to becoming a Some facts about honey beekeeper started as a young and the honeybee girl. When I was a child, I was fascinated by watching the bees on flowers, so I started collecting them in mason jars. Fast forward many years, I bought my first two hives in 2015 and kept trying until I was successful and able to collect honey and beeswax. As I progress in my beekeeping goals, I also volunteer my time and share my experience with others. The more I volunteer, the more learn from other beekeepers. I don't think anyone can ever stop learning the fine art of keeping bees. As a beekeeper, I can stand to the side of my hives and watch these miniature airports in my backyard. I care for my bees all year long, and with all that hot, sweaty, physical work, I get to harvest Amy Kendrat is a certified beekeeper in Fayetteville. She is studying to become a Journeyman Beekeeper in the North Carolina State Beekeeping Association. 22 | A P R I L 2 0 2 2

the best honey in the world. The taste does not even resemble store-bought variety; it is oh, so much better. I like to bottle the honey and send it to my family as Christmas gifts, but I also enjoy making candles and new-to-this year, lip balm. I love the rewards of my labor, though it requires many hours of physical, muscle-building movements and lifting. I feel good when I'm done. However, more work always awaits. Challenges in the challenging. At the state level, Getting the beeswax buzz-ness beekeepers relish victories small and large that aid us in apiculture The North Carolina State As is true with working with activities — the maintenance Beekeeper’s Association has a any living creature, dangers of bee colonies, commonly in list of bee schools on its website are present. Bees could sting man-made hives, by humans. www.ncbeekeepers.org under the your neighbor, you or your pets. A recent reason for celebration calendar tab. The Cumberland Beekeepers minimize the risks by is the state funding of a new County Beekeeper’s Association taking the proper precautions and bee lab at North Carolina State meets at 7 p.m. on the last taking correct safety measures. University. A past achievement Tuesday of the month, minus This requires proper attire and that still affects beekeeping today December, at 301 East Mountain equipment. I wear a bee suit, veil is the Honeybee Act of 1977, Drive in Fayetteville. and gloves for bodily protection which permits beekeepers with and use a smoker when working five hives or less to be free from Are you a veteran? Be sure to with my bees. While most ordinances by local governments look into the Hives for Heroes honeybees are calm, the use of that try to prohibit the keeping program, which helps veterans smoke is to calm the bees when of bees. While this may keep get started in beekeeping. This is a going into their hive. Bees usually nosy neighbors at bay, the free program for veterans to find like a gentle touch, but can sting legislation doesn’t regulate mentors and take classes online to if they feel they must protect homeowner associations. become certified beekeepers. At the hive. I try to be careful and the end, the veteran gets the hive go slowly. We beekeepers try to There are still yet other challenges. of bees he or she helped raise. make sure we breed calm bees; Beekeeping is hard, physical, The program raises awareness of calm and gentle bees make time-consuming and requires the preponderance of veterans beekeeping easier. nerves of steel. It can also be who commit suicide and also the expensive, and the money sunk plight of the honey bee: “Twenty- As is true in nature, the into the bees could be lost if the two veterans take their lives every unexpected can happen, at any hive doesn’t survive. You have to day, and honeybee populations time. One of my hives recently wait until the second year for your are declining. Together, we can exploded in population and first honey harvest while ensuring provide connection and purpose swarmed twice. Swarming the bees have what they need through beekeeping to those who is the honeybee’s method of to make it through the winter. first served us.” Learn more at reproduction. During swarming, a You may think about giving up https://www.hivesforheroes.com/. large mass of bees leaves the hive entirely; however, every spring is a with a queen bee and finds a new new opportunity to start over with 2 0 2 2 A P R I L | 23 home, while another new queen new bees. begins her reign in the old hive. Bees in the swarm are no threat and are, in fact, very calm. To the ordinary person, such a sight can be quite unsettling. Not to worry, most counties have a beekeeping association that has a list of beekeepers that can remove the swarm, providing a new colony of bees to someone, for free. Regulation and oversight of agriculture can always be

Seven Natural Ingredients for a Healthy Smile By Allison Davis P icture yourself with your best smile. Good oral hygiene is a critical part of your daily health care routine. But do you even know what all those chemicals are in your mainstream toothpaste and mouthwash? Instead of guessing, avoid them, and brush up instead on seven great natural alternatives to harsh oral care ingredients. Natural teeth care and research has demonstrated probing and gingival enzyme possible therapeutic effects of activity, only at the CoQ10 treated Baking soda Sodium bicarbonate, antioxidants in treating and sites. That's good news! commonly known as baking soda, preventing periodontal disease lightens stains, freshens breath, are useful, with special attention Coconut oil Used for centuries to reduces acid in the mouth and on CoQ10. maintain oral health, oil \"pulling\" inhibits plaque formation. Baking with coconut oil is one of the soda toothpaste may also have Clinical researchers evaluated simplest natural ways to support a stain-prevention effect. While the topical application of CoQ10 your teeth and gums. What is oil some argue baking soda is too to periodontal pockets with and pulling? It's an ancient practice abrasive to use on your teeth, without professional cleaning that involves swishing oil in your dental researchers have found below the gum tissue, and results mouth to remove bacteria and it has a rating of seven on the showed significant improvements promote oral hygiene. The lauric Relative Dentin Abrasivity (RDA) including the reduction of acid found in coconut oil is a scale of 0 to 269. The RDA level gingivitis, bleeding on periodontal natural antibacterial that has been tells you how hard or abrasive a substance is on your teeth. As long as you brush softly, baking soda can help gently remove stains from the surface of your teeth. Xylitol-a This ingredient is a naturally occurring carbohydrate in fruits and vegetables and is a safe alternative to artificial sweeteners to enhance flavor and add sweetness. Xylitol has also been shown to reduce the risk of cavities — in some studies, more effectively than fluoride. Co-Q-10 Historically, the benefits of coenzyme Q 10 (CoQ10) in oral health have been known for decades. Oxidative damage occurs in periodontal disease, Allison Davis is the wellness manager at Apple Crate Naturals. Working in the natural industry for 11 years, she loves bringing the newest and best products to Fayetteville. 24 | A P R I L 2 0 2 2

found to reduce the bacteria that to commercial products has mouth can migrate to other cause dental issues, including S. anti-inflammatory and antiviral areas, spreading inflammation mutants and P. gingivitis –– two properties and has been used and low-grade infections and strains associated with some for hundreds of years to treat even contributing to artery of the most common, most mouth lesions, cold sores and hardening — a huge risk for undesirable oral health outcomes. gum abscesses. In one study, cardiovascular disease. Dentists What kinds of outcomes? Think aloe vera gel was as effective may soon become more like as pharmaceutical medications primary care providers, as the bad breath, irritated in treating swollen and relationships between oral gums, and the kind infected gums. and overall health become of problems that more evident. have your dentist Tea tree oil This essential oil may reaching for aid in the treatment of gingivitis, Recent research the drill. according to a report published A large Swedish study followed in Clinical Microbiology Reviews a group of people for nearly 15 And in addition in 2006. If you're thinking of years to determine if a relationship to reducing using tea tree oil for gum health, existed between dental plaque your chances of and premature cancer death. choose a toothpaste Results showed that people that contains with more plaque died of this essential cancer significantly earlier than oil as an those with less plaque. This is not an isolated study. The links an unpleasant ingredient. between gum disease, chronic oral checkup, Beware of the inflammation, cancer and heart reducing fact that ingesting disease are becoming more unwanted undiluted tea tree oil or using widely acknowledged in the bacteria also homemade tea tree oil tooth scientific literature. clears the way remedies can be toxic. for beneficial Nothing beats good dental bacteria to Neem oil from an evergreen tree hygiene habits come in and native to India has been used for All of the above are remedies can repopulate your thousands of years to treat gum help to treat a problem that has mouth, restoring disease, tooth decay and mouth already developed, but the best balance to your ulcers. Because it’s a potent defense is a good offense. Proper oral microbiome antimicrobial, neem can prevent dental hygiene habits, including and giving your the growth of bacteria that cause daily brushing and flossing and teeth and gums the tooth decay and bad breath. regular dental checkups, are the bacterial support they need to best ways to prevent problems thrive. To experience the magic Healthy teeth = healthy body from starting. of this ancient ritual, try swishing Most of us don’t think about a spoonful around in your mouth how teeth affect the rest of Make sure to brush at least twice for 10-20 minutes a day. the body, but new research each day, floss carefully and use may be changing that. Studies a good mouthwash product Aloe vera This natural alternative demonstrate that poor oral regularly. Ideally, you should brush health may be an overlooked and floss each day before bed and risk factor for many chronic after getting up in the morning, diseases. Bacteria from the as well as after each meal. Use a mouthwash at least two times per day to help slow the development of tooth decay. Tooth decay is easily one of the most prevalent chronic diseases in the U.S. Using all the remedies at your disposal will help you maintain optimal oral health and a confident smile you will want to share. 2 0 2 2 A P R I L | 25

It’s a Woman’s World 1900’s, known as “The Big House,” which eventually burned down in a fire caused by a plumber’s torch. The Vander community, The only part remaining was the kitchen, as it full of family and friends was separate from the house. Many residents of Vander remember the big, beautiful home with By Dorothy Bullard white, spindled porch railings nestled in the field off Judson Church Road. I have called Vander home since 1994, but many of my friends in the community, Vander is home to the Cape Fear Colts and including my husband, were born and raised wonderful schools on this side of the river. Our in this wonderful place. I enjoyed a time of idea neighborhoods have grown and popped up all over brainstorming, reminiscing and fellowshipping — the area, especially in the past 15 years, with new complete with tea and dessert — with friends Sarah home constructions continuing each year. Families Lou Cashwell, Margaret Collier and Donna Meadows here support and love the schools and attend the in endeavoring to write this article. My other half of academic and athletic events of Cape Fear High 28 years, Roddy Bullard, was happy to contribute School, Mac Williams Middle School and Sunnyside facts, tidbits and his two cents to this piece, too Elementary. Across from the high school is a public Read on to learn about Vander; I hope you enjoy library and the Department of Motor Vehicles office. your visit! This community houses six churches that have ministered to its families and friends, sharing the A drive to south-central North Carolina inside Gospel of Christ, for many years: Vander Church Cumberland County and along the Cape Fear River of God, Pleasant Grove Baptist, Galilee Free Will brings you to the sweet vista that is Vander, my Holiness Church, Sunnyside Presbyterian Church home for nearly three decades. As you cross over and Lock’s Creek AME Zion Church. Freedom Bikers’ the Cape Fear River bridge, east of Fayetteville, Church is a more recent addition to the community you find this quiet, quaint, rural community with many active parishioners riding in on their positioned between Stedman, Eastover, Cedar Creek motorcycles for Sunday worship. and Fayetteville. Defined as an unincorporated community, the locale is made up of many If you grew up in the 1950s and ‘60s, you would generations of families as well as individuals drawn have been part of a bustling community of farmers to Vander’s nice, country feel away from the traffic bringing their cotton to the cotton mill, residents and congestion of the city. working or buying from Thompson Plywood plant or the Southern Rosen Factory. You might By all accounts, Vander got its name from a large have taken a ride on the train, leaving the train landowner in the early 1900’s, Evander Herbert station, right here on Old Vander Road, to arrive in Bullard. Bullard cousins tell how they always heard Wilmington for a day at the beach. their grandfather was “land poor” because it was sometimes difficult to pay the property taxes. This And, speaking of trains, have you heard of the Vander Light? Many young men and women have family lived in a home built in the early searched for this infamous apparition. As legend goes, a ticket master carrying his lantern to watch for the train tripped and fell on the track. Lying on the rails in his unconscious state, his head was severed from his body as the train came chugging down the tracks. So, on certain nights, a lantern of light could be seen swaying left and right as the headless ticket master searched up and down the tracks for his missing head. The legend was spread far and wide, enticing crowds of people to come long distances to see this strange light. The wooded area surrounding the tracks has long been cleared and the ticket station no longer stands, but the train, pulling freight cars now, continues each day from Fayetteville to the industries on Cedar Creek Road. If you were in the mood for another type of Dorothy Bullard came to Vander from the foothills of Georgia and north central Florida 28 years ago. A retired teacher who served 37 years in the classroom, she now spends time with friends, children and grandchildren. She enjoys traveling, entertaining, gardening and church activities. 26 | A P R I L 2 0 2 2

entertainment in those days, you would not have and a place where friends and locals stop by to missed the Moonlight Drive-In that showed movies, sit a while and visit while waiting for car repairs, nightly, for 25 years. Owned and operated by Paul inspections or just to chat. You might happen upon and Mildred Allen, it provided a fun atmosphere cookers set up outside used by volunteers with the with great concessions. Many locals frequented the Vander Civic Association to grill hundreds of Boston drive-in, while teens piled in cars to see the latest Butts for the annual sale supporting the community. flick. Still others would get in any way they could, On down the street, a new establishment is even by hiding in the trunks, and more than once American Woodworkery, owned by veteran Mr. Allen had to tap on the car window if it seemed Benjamin Hutchins and wife Heather, creators of a bit too steamy. After all, this was a family business. their newest product, the Patriot Collection. He says, Many espouse those hamburgers that daughters if you can dream it, they can make it! Judy and Diane grilled were the best burgers ever. Still on Clinton Road, you will find Vander Tire and Today, Vander is still a thriving community with Auto Parts, operated by Dennis Byrd. Up the street is some new and old businesses and different shops. Ray West's Vander Auto Parts & Service Center, the When you cross under I-95 to the east on Clinton office of a local CPA, Jackie Kirby and Todd Edge’s Road along the main street of Vander, you pass Cape Fear Insulation. Further on Old Vander Road is many of these. Now instead of the Moonlight Drive- still another repair shop, Sandy’s Automotive owned In, you’ll see Cashwell’s Appliance. The Vander Fire by Sandy and Kim Beard. Department, Cumberland County Station 2, is also there, a vital part of the community with many Vander also features a strip mall complex housing fire and rescue responders dutifully caring for a deli, nail salon, dental office and martial arts townspeople. Organized in 1955 with an all-volunteer studio among other merchants. New on the scene staff, the department currently has a highly trained, is Dollar General. For less commercial activity, paid and volunteer staff, 24 hours a day. visit Carter’s Blueberry Farm, a family-owned-and -operated business that has been productive for The Vander Fire Department Ladies Auxiliary began over 40 years. In season, your family can enjoy a around the late 1960s to support the firefighters and wonderful time picking blueberries by the bucket. community. Many dedicated ladies throughout the Currently, grandson Jimmy Moore is the farm years have worked hard at fundraising by preparing operations manager, continuing the family business lots of chicken and pastry to perfection. Among that Buck and Ellon Carter began in 1967 and the ladies that began the first auxiliary group were serving customers with “the best blueberry picking Adelaide Rozier, Ann Beard, Johnnie Adcox, Susie experience in N.C.” Adcox, Judy Allen Cox and Sally Simmons. On down the road is Ms. Sudy’s Country store, always hopping Many locals choose to visit the Pura Clinic Urgent with activity, and Morty Pride, a pork processing Care/Family Medicine, which provides full, on-site plant close by. Vander Tire and Auto, Dennis Byrd services for those in this rural area, rather and sons’ friendly and busy store, is also in town than going to Fayetteville for their healthcare needs. 2 0 2 2 A P R I L | 27

iptAsTcnhaohaltttemrsohoostoaimurnnuagcgtiigtnohhmhtmishas,tetemslihnalilwtbetute,raonttailrrhnakvaoeleiitnnafliosmgrlosletdttvehaaresTratfohoicpaourkonangcmsdaithinvnmphidtcsVahuoaVesecnnvCbhcedApeoncelemybotrnswumimsstiolrumlduoaocidnnnnuhsigngpthfaaykoi.aolwgDts,iaudryaAofnmtrsuysh,Rntt.suIeeMbetoNrhudme,uGtasewtTtcwbiaOthehneDmryseRiotloEfiuotwF9RBrAa!roarMu2Iodayyts0.dhnhefh:waeeekntaa9owBDwtmyiiveudet1reashAfmyrvsi0puyhLgs,RSiGat.ela-SASshIuIliM4brreNIoNUnDtrahNru,om8ettGuYGiltYoLietNloGhnDn0lsLeOw.nrlotCLcTgIcoRwEi-rgnbVOfi,EoaO1vtidh2esOhnmLe0wlKyel8AODmoRdIa1,rAyNseDu3l0oOCRAioktDrlGgoV1EEfiKusugotVslw4DAEao!nIoreEFaNrNvMnnInaOyNnmetpGiTL.hdnShttRTfGaawhUSAeeIhgabliUrwNIUewimnfDivRiTaSuNzotkRetiGYhtpaOHIYyytriiFGahNOWnhnyroiLAUntEOGedsooLuS,gghGUEiDIodr,unsSwfIU,,RE’D,evONLSmtVsmLPhYeieylmEOGlNEaoAOeallKRobrLaoDANWgLoosobEDmuerOOvONFDaEEenvTrkeuheVaEOtKuTOiknPneUiyhValoeRwDMnEoniIKEtEoWlu!dREdNhtoENvganAICfCnoNArssONiiouNeyALGnkis,TLsRaTefLnkDtU.rT-iDAGnosEulUnIieIuEhgMblnAoNSUOTVergDrFkIRni5ugmer’,kIEBuRGNOrm5s,GlOOtfioFeNasoOI5LeLnRwErcftUNoaOaTrcwtTEAugUry!hbSuAik,nalOSSa,RUntDohIeieSashndBcNnnHuRehYtnageDmkigLGrOoIaonluwyDdsePioREmhiuLodgytUala.nkAoif,EfEiauorsfwuDySotiewsg,RAuad!ttr.laoArfLsuorIrsMDMubIysoNaysO,Rnrmltput.I.omeLhshuuGSIgVfOMGabtwvaoNeSAeIasreiOwuewrKNwImmUetnivDTuGcwaNttRbdeIiathGaYOsteYtNihwGhelotChnnTcwkLeobGgiLaDmEgOsEtirhsneyfhn,EsDeRoeiotFsaLDmloynrEfiunOyAOsoteowRA annual Friday/Saturday Pig Cook Off. The local Boy Look no further.Scout troop meets there regularly, and oyster roasts, parties and fundraisers are the usual happenings. Visitors and residents enjoy the park’s walk trails Having one special person while kids love the playground. for your car, home and life insurance lets you get down to More merchants in Vander include Superior Lot business with the rest of your life. Cleaning, Inc., owned by James Averitte; U-Teck, which provides specialized products for It’s what I do. the telecommunication, utility, municipal and transportation industries; and the circa 2016 Sweet GET TO A Valley Ranch on Sunnyside School Road, owned BETTER STATE™. and operated by Fred and Anita Surgeon. You may CALL ME TODAY. have already visited and experienced some of the adventurous and entertaining events that occur at SVR all year round. Read about Anita Surgeon in the \"Who's the Boss\" article in this same issue, pp. 4-5. Life is good in Vander, where our churches, schools State Farm Mutual Automobile Insurance Company, and community events provide plenty of activities, State Farm Indemnity Company, State Farm Fire and Casualty Company, yet we’re close enough to commute to the city for work or a jaunt for a day of shopping or dining. State Farm General Insurance Company, Bloomington, IL Families and friends love the quiet and peaceful atmosphere of Vander, a place filled with neighbors 1101201 who know each other and help one another whenever we can. 28 | A P R I L 2 0 2 2

Promoting Resiliency in Families and the Prevention of Child Abuse Honoring National Child Abuse Awareness Month By Julie Lee-Jacobs task in prevention is to support work we can all invest in. Our caregiver wellness and their collective knowledge indicates During April, the Child Advocacy availability to respond to a child’s that increasing family resiliency Center of Cumberland County innate efforts to seek closeness helps reduce the risk of child and community friends and and attachment. Mental health abuse. I had the privilege of partners continue their efforts professionals have a role in this training with Froma Walsh, Ph.D., to nurture awareness for child area of prevention. professor at the University of abuse prevention. The CAC is a Chicago and Co-Director at the 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization What a powerful reality Chicago Center for Family Health. that purposes to alleviate the it is that children In her book, Strengthening trauma children experience once Family Resilience, she writes this a disclosure of sexual abuse or instinctively need and about families and resiliency: serious physical abuse occurs seek attachment. by creating a community of “We can strive to make meaning collaborating advocates. Mental health providers have of past hurt and injustice, and many duties, including: then draw upon our inner Meaningful prevention efforts • identifying caregivers’ mental resources and bonds with loved must promote resiliency in ones, our larger communities families and address primary health needs; and transcendent values, to live factors associated with family • pinpointing areas in which to and love to our fullest potential wellbeing. Prevention of child and to leave positive legacies trauma requires us to address support caregiver wellness; for the future. As children in our parental and caregiver health — • offering evidence-based families of origin, we had little physical, emotional, psychological, control over traumatic events; spiritual health — and support parenting training known as adults and parents, we have positive attachment between to reduce the risk for the power and opportunity to do caregivers and children. In the child abuse; better — with our children and context of child and family health, • supporting caregivers with all others in our lives. Our resiliency refers to the ability to in addressing their own shared future will be promising rebound and even grow through childhood traumas; if we can come to understand adversity and challenge. Our • teaching parents our lives, gain compassion for children have opportunities to and children about the struggles of others and take thrive as families and caregivers attachment and supporting up our responsibilities to all grow in resiliency. improved attachment; living things.” • supporting families when In his book The Body Keeps stress is high, and resources The task is BIG. And it the Score, Bessel van Der Kolk, for coping are low; requires us to see ourselves as MD, trauma expert, writes, • educating ourselves in interconnected and interrelated. “Children have a biological interventions and treatments The job requires us to make the instinct to attach; they have no that strengthen family very most of our resources. The choice. Whether their parents or adaptation and resiliency; CAC leads the way in promoting caregivers are loving and caring • and supporting capable foster awareness, offering community or distant, insensitive, rejecting parents, with that support training and supporting children or abusive, children will develop being bigger than the and families with evidence-based a coping style based on their challenges of the foster care treatment. May we all do our attempt to get at least some of system. part to encourage family their needs met.” resiliency in this time and In situations where abuse has place. Visit the Child Advocacy What a powerful reality it is that already occurred, preventing Center website to learn more: children instinctively need and further abuse becomes critical to http://www.cacfaync.org/. seek attachment. Children learn a child’s development, and the about themselves by how they’re earlier, the better. treated. A primary Promoting family resiliency is Julie Lee-Jacobs is a licensed clinical psychologist serving military families on Ft. Bragg. She volunteers with the Child Advocacy Center and serves currently on the board of directors. 22 00 22 22 AA PP RR II LL || 2299

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Join hands to provide the bright PARENTS! & happy future every child deserves. Give them the Gift April is Child Abuse Prevention Month That Keeps on Giving! Please join hands with us and Kidsville become a partner in child News! is online! abuse prevention. To learn how, visit CACFayNC.org. Help your kids to develop reading skills by playing games, reading stories and more! For tons of fun VISIT www.kidsvillenews.com 2 0 2 2 A P R I L | 31

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