November 2017 Kukui Lamalama Magazine

Kukui Lamalama The Magazine of the First Unitarian Church of Honolulu Volume 2017 … Number 11 … November, 2017Thankfulness &Gratitude Don’t Miss These important Articles…Church Services Pages 1 to 5 Traveling Members Page 18Dennis Graue Page 6 C’est Si Bon! Page 19Aloha Dear Friends Page 7 We’re Not The Hotel Page 20New Members Pages 8, 9, 14, 17 Westside Happenings Page 21Jubilee Pages 10, 11 News From RE Page 22ARTS At FUCH Pages 12, 13 Remembering Wilma Page 23From Our President Page 15 Appreciation & Appeal Page 24Volunteer Opportunities Page 16 Pride Parade Page 25Chalice Circles Page 17 Church Calendar Page 26,27

Church Services Paula Cole JonesHonolulu CampusFirst Unitarian Church of Honolulu,2500 Pali Hwyhttp://www.unitariansofhi.org/ Rev. David Usher Sunday, November 12, 10:00 am Paula Cole Jones Democracy Is About Faith in Humanity Sunday, November 5, 10:00 am Former President, Rev. John Buehrens said that Rev. David Usher Unitarian Universalism is spiritual sustenance for Grow Our Souls democratic living. There is a direct relationship between our spiritual values, “We the People,” and our call to justice. A democracy in peril needs faith in action. How will we respond? How strong is our faith?There are twenty four hours in the day for all of Paula Cole Jones is the founder of ADORE (Aus. How might we best spend that time to grow Dialogue on Race & Ethnicity), a former presidentour souls? of DRUUMM (Diverse and Revolutionary Unitari- an Universalist Multicultural Ministries) and anThis is the final Sunday for our Minister-in-Residence, the Rev. David Usher. David is a na- independent consultant specializing in multicultur-tive Australian and a lifelong Unitarian. He spent al competencies and institutional change. Shefour years as a jackaroo in the Australian outback lives in Washington, D.C.before travelling the world solo for a year and a Worship Associate: Marie Annehalf, during which he succumbed to the call to Greeters: Lee Curran, Judith Clarkministry. Decorator: Martina QueenthHe recently retired after 36 years in the ministry,mostly in England but also twelve years in theUS. Rev. Jan ChristianHe was the founding President of The Internation-al Council of Unitarians & Universalists, and is theauthor of two books.He has three adult daughters from his first mar-riage, and in August, 2016 married the Rev. VailWeller, also a UU minister who works for the UUAin Stewardship & Development. He now lives inSan Mateo, California.Worship Associate: Marie Anne Sunday, November 19, 10:00 amGreeters: TBA Rev. Jan ChristianDecorator: TBA People, Places and Things I Didn’t Know I Loved What happens when we approach the world, one another and ourselves with a holy curiosity? Why Continued on page 3Page 2...November 2017...Kukui Lamalama

Church Servicesdoes Parker Palmer warn us about efforts to your company at a Thanksgiving weekend ser-“build community?” What does Match.com have vice using the metaphor of the dinner table as ato teach us about how we approach relation- way of understanding what we bring, and whatships? Rev. Jan reflects on these and other we take away from our congregation, our wor-questions. ship, and the common life we share.The Rev. Jan Christian serves as our PrimaryContact on Congregational Life Staff for the Pa- Worship Associate: Karen Valasekcific Western Region of the Unitarian Universalist Greeters: TBAAssociation. Before taking that position over two Decorator: TBAyears ago, she served our Congregation in Ven- Leeward Campustura, California for 13 years. Prior to enteringministry she worked for several decades in Arizo- Unitarian Universalists Leeward Ohanana’s juvenile justice and social service systems http://www.unitariansofhi.org/and taught in the College of Public Programs atArizona State University.She lives with her partner, Norm, and two cats inAtascadero, California. She enjoys water aero-bics (because the ocean is too cold) and beingwith her “little brother” Angel, who is 12.Worship Associate: Rev. T. J. FitzGeraldGreeters: Junko DavisDecorator: Theresa Moorleghen Rev. Wayne Arnason Saturday, November 11, 5:00 pm Rev. Kathleen Rolenz Gratitude Or Thankfulness Is there a difference between being grateful and being thankful? Are they really the same or are they different? If they are different is one more spiritually enlightening than the other? Join us in Mililani (at Stephanie Teraoka’s home) as we look at these two expressions via discus- sion, readings and a Ted Talk. As always after the Service, we will have our Fa- mous, Fabulous Pot Luck. All are welcome. For more information, please contact CharlotteSunday, November 26, 10:00 am Morgan at [email protected]. Wayne Arnason & Rev. Kathleen RolenzThe Pleasure of Your Company More AboutWe have the honor and pleasure of two Ministers Rev. Wayne Arnason &-in-Residence for two weeks: the husband and Rev. Kathleen Rolenzwife team of the Rev. Kathleen Rolenz and Rev.Wayne Arnason. Many of us are familiar with Revs. Wayne Arnason and Kathleen Rolenztheir writing. Their book, Worship that Works, were the co-ministers of the West Shore Unitari-has been very important to us in looking at how an Universalist Church in Cleveland, OH fromwe do worship. 2000-2016. While taking their first sabbatical,Kathleen and Wayne request the pleasure of Continued on page 4 Kukui Lamalama...November 2017...Page 3

More Church ServicesBig Island Services Unitarian Universalists of West Hawaiihttp://hiuu.weebly.com/ Meets every second and fourth Sunday at 4:00 pm in Kailua-KonaHilo Unitarian Roundtable Address: Sadie Seymour GardensMeets every Sunday at 9:30 am in Hilo (Outdoor Circle)Email: [email protected] 76-6280 Kuakini Hwy, Kailua-Kona Facebook: Unitarian UniversalistsUnitarian Universalists of Puna of West HawaiiMeets every Sunday at 10:30 am Phone: 808-640-4485in Hawaiian Paradise Park (Check out page 4 for moreAddress: 15-1791 14th Ave., HPP UU of West Hawaii News)Paradise Dr. off Hwy 130,Right on 14thFacebook: facebook.com/UUPunaPhone: 808-966-7852Website: www.uupuna.comMore About but is currently serving as the half-time Minister at the UU Church of Sterling, Virginia. He is theRev. Wayne Arnason co-author and editor of two books, “We Would be & Rev. Kathleen Rolenz One” and “Buddhist Voices in Unitarian Univer- salism.” (Continued from page 3) Rev. Kathleen Rolenz has been the Minister of five congregations over the past 25 years and isthey traveled the country studying and experienc- currently an Accredited Interim Minister in Train-ing worship and produced \"Worship that Works: ing. She will be serving as the Interim SeniorTheory and Practice for Unitarian Universal- Minister at the UU Church of Annapolis in Janu-ists.\" The second edition was just released this ary 2018. She is the author, editor and co-editorfall, with a new forward and updates about inno- of four books with Skinner House. Her most re-vations in worship since the book was written in cent manuscript \"The Free Thinkers Bible: A2005. Guide for the Curious, Contemptuous and Al-Rev. Wayne Arnason has served denomination- ready-Convinced\" will be published in 2018.ally and in parish ministry for over fortyyears. He retired from full-time ministry in 2016, //FUCH Factoid//FUCH Factoid// Did you know that the Chalicestained glass window hanging was designed by Al Rowland and produced by Ken Solte? Thanks to Clement Smith for helping us to remember. Rev. T. J. FitzGerald at the pulpit. (Photo by David Friedman)Page 4...November 2017...Kukui Lamalama

UUs of West Hawaii Unitarian Universalists of West Hawaii November 2017 NewsletterA free and responsible search for truth and meaning 2nd & 4th Sundays @ 4 pm, Sadie Seymour Gardens/ Outdoor Circle, 76-6280 Kuakini Highway P.O. Box 3433, Kailua-Kona 96745 www.uuwesthawaii.org Editor: Linda Olsen [email protected] SUNDAYS: MISSION STATEMENTNov 12, 4:00 p.m. \"Resilience\" based on Quest for We are a welcoming, caring community committed to aMeaning essays, led by Gail Dawrs and Karen Gold. free and open search for meaning, guided by the wisdomThere are things we can do and ways we can live to en- of the ages, reason, intuition, and experience. We workhance our resilience—our ability to bounce back after dis- toward a more accepting peaceful world with respect for allruptions and adjust to change. An important part of our existence.ability to recover from extreme change or stress is thecommunity that enfolds us.We can be of assistance to oth- IN MEMORIUMers and we can help the children in our care to develop The Erway family had a private ceremony to scattertheir ability to bounce back. In whatever way you conceive Duane's ashes from the FairWind boat in late October.of life’s purpose, your beliefs and intentional living are im- When he was able, Duane loved scuba-diving and this ritu-portant to your resilience. al of scattering his ashes into the sea was entirely fitting for his spirit. If you would like to make a donation in his Also on Nov. 12th: memory, Ke Kai Ola (the Hawaiian monk seal hospital – “Share the Plate” www.marinemammalcenter.org) and the Natural Re- a SPECIAL collection for the Hawaii sources Defense Council (www.nrdc.org) are two preferred Food Basket. All cash donations will charities. be given to the Food Basket, and Our hearts and prayers are with Marjorie Erway and Don checks may be made out to The Erway as we all grieve the loss of Duane. Food Basket, Inc. with UUWH on the memo line. We will also collect non- YOU ARE INVITED – save the date! perishable food items for The Food Basket. All-Islands UU Camp-out June 7-9, 2018Nov. 26, 4:00 p.m. “Welcoming Rooms\" presented byUU minister, Rev. Catherine Ishida. Aloha,Together let’s celebrate art and ritual that welcomes thespirit and invites the soul. Bring a snack and something The First Unitarian Church of Honolulu invites all UUs tobeautiful to share - perhaps a poem, artwork, dance, mu- our annual camp-out. We have reserved tent sites andsic, a flower, or just yourself. This service is another in the some Hale (two bunkbeds in very small space) for Juneseries from the book \"A House for Hope: The Promise ofProgressive Religion for the 21st Century\" on contempo- 7,8,9 of 2018.rary pneumatology, the theology of spirit. Go to the Malaekahana.net website to see the location. Contact Nancy Schildt at [email protected] to get on the list for registration (in Feb. 2018).Into the Future:Dec. 10, 4:00 p.m. – Rev. Cat IshidaDec. 24 – NO SERVICEDec. 31 – Possible roundtable discussion, stay tuned formore infoJanuary 14 – Rev. Cat IshidaBOARD BUSINESS:Tuesday, Nov. 28, 1:00 p.m. – Board meeting at Maiden’shome. Everyone welcome. Kukui Lamalama...November 2017...Page 5

Good Job Dennis!!!Our Amazing Music Director, Dennis Graue was featured in an article in the Sunday Honolulu StarAdvertiser, October 15, 2017 (Page D2). The piece was written by John Berger, with photo by CraigT. Kojima. Kukui Lamalama...November 2017...Page 6

Aloha Dear Friends….The wonderful Gillis-Davis Family is bid a heartfelt farewell. (L to R) Parents Jeff and Lisa and sonsOwen, Alex, Ben and Jack. Rev. T. J. Fitzgerald echo the Congregation’s sentiments. (Photo by C.B. Morgan) Barbara and Terry Robinson will be leaving to live permanently on the Mainland. Both Barb and Terry have been faithful mem- bers of the Spirits Band. You will be missed. (Photo by C. B. Morgan) Kukui Lamalama...November 2017...Page 7

Welcome Our New Members(L to R) New Members: Mitsue Stout, Raelynn Reyno Yeomens, Daniel Reyno Yeomens, EthanSwizdor next to Mom Carmen Golay, Gerdien Baas Crocker holding daughter Sophie. (Photo provided by Nancy Schildt)Get To Know Our they needed to find friends and a community to New Members start building their village for Asa and their own sanity. So in late October, much to everyone's surprise Melissa said, \"Lets go to the UnitarianMelissa and Audrey Blum Church this Sunday!\" Audrey was more thanMelissa and Audrey moved to Oahu in Septem- skeptical, having been raised Catholic, but Melis-ber of 2015 with their three dogs. Asa was with sa assured her, \"I promise, it'sthem as well, in utero, due to make his earthly de- not actually church.\" So they went one Sundaybut in the very beginning of November, just over a and were greeted with smiles and friendly wel-month later. Between the two of them, Melissa comes. One of the friendly faces was Katie Acker-and Audrey could count the number of acquaint-ances they had here on one hand. They knew (Continued on page 9)Page 8...November 2017...Kukui Lamalama

New Member Ceremony (10/15/2017)(L to R) New Members: Lori Ford and daughter, Na’imah Hornsby, Michael Gurney, Steven Comp-ton holding son Eli, Rachael Compton holding son, Myles, Melissa Blum, Audrey Blum holding son,Asa. (Photo provided by Nancy Schildt)man, who kindly offered if we needed anything to at the hospital, brought us some much neededjust call. Well, just a few days later Melissa went Bubbies mochi ice cream, and set up a mealinto labor early. Audrey's mom and sister-in-law train! Their kindness was really just amazing andwere planning to be in town to help when Asa was such a testament to the Unitarian Church and thedue, but his early arrival meant there was no one family we would come to know there. Through theto help with the animals. A frantic call was placed meal train we met many new UU friends who gra-to Katie, \"I'm not sure if you remember us, but we ciously brought delicious food and much appreci-just met you at church last week and you said to ated company to us, still complete strangers tocall if we needed anything. Well we were wonder- them, but they knew we were new to the islanding if you would be able to go to our house to feed and the Church and we were in need. The villageand walk our three dogs?\" Katie and Caryn werebeyond helpful, they took care of our pets, visited (Continued on page 14) Kukui Lamalama...November 2017...Page 9

Jubilee Anti-Racism Training: Our Goals Learning Together About Systemic Racism → To develop a shared Enrollment is limited to 45, so sign up today! analysis of racism and its individual, institution- Thursday, November 9th, 6:00 pm to 10:00 pm al, and cultural manifes- Friday, November 10th, 8:30 am to 9:00 pm tations. → To begin to apply this Saturday, November 11th, 8:30 am to 5:00 pm common understanding$165 per participant which includes all meals and materials. to the history, culture, and institutional struc- Scholarships Available...Donations Welcome ture of our society, and All three days are at to envision the next steps in taking action. First Unitarian Church of Honolulu 2500 Pali Highway, Honolulu, HI 96817 Register by mail or online:https://uuhonolulu.org/contact/jubilee-anti-racism-training/.Learning Together About Systemic Racism Agenda Topics Weekend Activities→ The history of racism and resistance to racism in The training includes presentations, the Americas discussions, videos, exercises, small group work, and shared meals.→ The look of racism in Hawaii This 2 ½ day workshop is open to→ Defining racism anyone who wants to journey toward→ The effects of racism on people of color and on making a stand against racism. Church members and church lead- white people ers of any faith, as well as non-→ Dismantling racism church members are all welcome!→ Claiming and shaping an anti-racist identityPage 10...November 2017...Kukui Lamalama

JubileeCome Join Us for this Life-Changing Weekend! Your Trainers… JyaphiaChristos-RodgersField Coordinator andConsultant at the Na-tional Center for Dis- Paula Cole Jones Lutricia (Pat) Callairaster Preparedness,Columbia University Facilitator and Racial & Social CEO of the Center forand adjunct professor Justice Strategist, Paula has Wellness and Healing,at Tulane University, consulted to the First Unitarian Lutricia is a licensedJyaphia did her un- Church of Honolulu, providing clinical social workerdergraduate and mas- workshops, guidance, and Sun- with a master’s degreeters work at the Uni- day services. from the University ofversity of New Orle- Paula is the Convener of the Ju- South Carolina.ans. bilee Anti-Racism Training Having served as ad-Jyaphia is an organiz- Workshop. For those who have junct professor ofer and trainer for attended Paula’s workshops: Community and SocialCrossroads Antirac- Jubilee is different. It focuses Justice at Guilfordism Organizing and on a specific analysis of race College and SocialTraining. and power. Work Director for the SC Dept. of Correc- tions, Lutrecia brings deep experience to Paula and the trainers understand the unique her Jubiliee training demographics of Hawaii, as the work.only state in which whites have always been inthe minority. Immigration and homelessness challenges are critical in JOINHawaii—we will want to include these US issues in our work . Kukui Lamalama...November 2017...Page 11

Arts At First Unitarian Wednesday, November 1st, 2017 at 7:00 pm Fred Harper Room We will discuss The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls. This memoir tells a tale of resilience and redemption. Jeannette’s father is a brilliant, charismatic, yet deeply flawed man who steeps his children in the sciences of physics and geology, but who would turn vindictive and cruel whenever he was not sober. Her mother lived in her own world and abhorred the responsibilities of raising a family. This story encapsulates the struggles that the Walls children went through to form success- ful lives by taking care of each other within the vacuum of parental guidance that they grew up in. Wednesday, December 6th, 2017 at 7:00 pm Fred Harper RoomWe will discuss A Man Called Ove by Fredrik Backman. This book is about a manwho is angry at the world and everyone in it and is not afraid to tell them why. It isalso a story of tragedy, regret, love, and Ove’s struggle to accept friendship froman unlikely source. Throughout the book Ove also speaks to his deceased wife,complaining about the neighbors, the rule breakers, and how much he misses her.During the interludes within the narrative, we also learn about how Ove becameOve. Daniel CurranOur own David Friedman will have his beautiful and very colorful art at two exhibits in November. Check them out.Rainbow Park (8\"X10\", Acrylic) What: AHA Miniature Show Who: Association of Hawaii Artists Where: Ho'omaluhia Botanical Gardens Gallery, Kaneohe When: November 5 to 25 (Daily - 9:00 am to 4:00 pm) Reception: Saturday November 11 Time: 4:00 to 6:00 pm (Continued on page 13)Page 12...November 2017...Kukui Lamalama

Arts At First Unitarian allery n he ali Paintings by Alicia Soder Honolulu's Gallery on the Pali announces an exhibition of artwork by Alicia Soder. The exhibition will run from November 19, 2017, through January 4, 2018, at GOTP, located at the First Unitarian Church. Artist's Reception: Saturday, December 2, 2017, from 6:00 to 8:00 pm. The public is invited. ABOUT THE EXHIBIT: Alicia Soder, a resident of Windward Oahu, will display large abstract paintings she says express different aspects of herself, her feelings and thoughts about the universe. Soder has beenan Oahu artist since 2003, exhibiting in multiple showings in Honolulu since then.The artist says \"The most powerful art is the most personal \" and that \"With this exhibition I will getclear and personal with the viewer while giving the message that there is gold inside of all of us andhere is mine.\" (Marshall Heaney, www.hawaiilovesart.com)Gallery Hours at the First Unitarian Church of Honolulu (2500 Pali Highway, Nuuanu)Tuesday 9:00 am - 2:00 pm, Wednesday 9:00 am - 2:30 pm, Thursday 9:30 am - 7:30 pm,Friday 9:30 am - 2:30 pm, Sunday 9:00 am to 1:00 pm (Closed Monday and Saturday) For more information, please call the First Unitarian Church Office at (808) 595-4047 or e-mail [email protected] Face (6\"X12\", Acrylic) What: MATCHBOX PLUS XIII Miniature Show Who: Group Show Where: Second Floor at Cedar Street Galleries, Honolulu When: November 17 to December 30 Reception: Friday November 17 Time: 5:30 to 8:00 pm View David’s online Webfolio at: www.DavidFriedmanArt.com Email David at: [email protected] Kukui Lamalama...November 2017...Page 13

Get To Know Our New Members Raelyn Reyno Yeomans I was mostly raised in the South Bay area of Southern California with two older brothers. I re- ceived my BA in Political Science from UCLA and JD from Chapman University School of Law; also lived for a time in the city of Orange and Laguna Beach. Most recently I lived in Las Vegas for a few years where I worked for Maui Divers Jewel- ry. Currently living in Kailua for over 10 years where I spend my time working, volunteering, and hanging with family. I live with my son, Daniel, a mini dachshund named Jazz, and a mouse named Cheese. Daniel is in 4th grade and loves being silly, play- ing video games, watching movies, Tae Kwonwe had hoped to build for our family is exactly Do, playing the piano, and his cousins.what we've found through so many wonderful Gerdiene Baas Crockerpeople and we look forward to Asa growing up Right now most of my life revolves around beingknowing the community that comes from being a Sophie's Mom, who is turning 4 in November. Imember of the UU Church. love being a Mom, due in no small part to the amazing efforts and support of my husband John.Compton Ohana I grew up in Hilo, daughter of a transplantedRachel, Steven, Eli and Myles Compton live in Dutch astronomer who fell in love with Hawaii. IKailua. Rachel grew up in Kailua and is the Stu- have an older sister in Kailua-Kona, and my Momdent Activities Coordinator at Kailua Intermediate returned to live in Holland after my dad passedSchool. She is also currently an RE co- away in 2001. I traveled, lived abroad and on thechair. Steven is originally from California City, Mainland, but my heart always longed to return toCalifornia and is currently engaged in a job train- Hawaii. John and I moved to Honolulu 7 yearsing program. Rachel & Steven have been mar- ago, and a few years later Sophie was born. Weried 13 years. Eli is 6, in the first grade, and loves want to raise her with the values of aloha, 'ohana,legos & reading. Myles is 3, attends preschool, and ho'oponopono. We want to value experienceand loves coloring and soccer. The Comptons over material things, connection over competition,have been attending services and volunteering in love over fear. I came to FUCH after last year'sRE for 2 years. election, looking for a community committed toMichael Gurney these values and more. I am currently working toMy name is Michael Gurney, and I have been get back into producing children's theater by di-part of UU for 6 months. Being 24, I grew up in recting plays for our home-school co-op.Indiana in a family of 4, before making a move toHawaii 2 years ago to start my career. In my Carmen Golaymove, I have met some really amazing people, Carmen was born and raised in rural and subur-and have made some life-long friends. I have ban Iowa. She moved to London to attend collegebeen teaching RE for 6 months with the church, and graduated in 2002. She moved to Hawaii thatand it has been one of the most rewarding experi- same year, after visiting the year before and lov-ences. I've gotten to know a congregation I want ing it. She and her husband Joe have knownto grow with, and have also made a second fami- each other since age 11 and were married inly for myself. Honolulu in 2003. After completing her graduate degree in upstate New York, she and Joe moved (Continued on page 17) Kukui Lamalama...November 2017...Page 14

From Our PresidentVOLUNTEERISMVolunteerism was anespecially interestingrecent topic in a smallgroup I am part of(Chalice Circle/Covenant Group).Some heartfelt respons-es included; “When Ihelp, I am helped.” “Iexpress my best self,and get better.” “I feeluseful.”Usually we have morethan one reason to vol-unteer, both altruisticand egotistic. The re-port below states thatthe average number ofhours that Americans President Nancy (Right) with one of our most hard working, dependablevolunteer is five hours/ volunteers, Molly Rowland (Left) (Photo by C.B. Morgan)week. When we talk about why we are Members of theThese are the six main reasons studied by two Unitarian Universalist Church, most of these as-researchers. pects of connecting to ourselves and others through volunteering can apply. But I would likeValues: We want to express or act on important to be specific to our Church. We come to a values. Church Service and participate in Church Groups to understand and express our shared U.U. prin-Understanding: We want to learn more about ciples. the world and learn skills through hands-on experience. Volunteering is respecting the interdependentEnhancement: We can grow and developthrough volunteer activities. web of all existence of which we are a part.Career: We can gain career-related or learning experiences through volunteering. Young We feel useful and part of that interdependent people especially have the opportunity to de- web. velop leadership skills. It is using the democratic process to govern the Church institution and guarantee its future in-Social: We strengthen our social relationships. fluence in our community. It is taking action onProtective: Volunteering can be an escape from our beliefs. Sometimes it is our turn to be leaders in our personal problems. Church’s shared governance.(From: The Motivations to Volunteer: Theoretical May it be so.and Practical Considerations by E. Gil Clary andMark Snyder. Dept. of Psychology. Univ. of Min-nesota, Oct. 1999.) Nancy Schildt, President of the CongregationPage 15...November 2017...Kukui Lamalama

Opportunities To Volunteer Hospitality Team physical and visu- al environment inHospitality Team’s purpose is to which to welcomeoffer a time to share our fellow- guests, worshipship with visitors and with each and work.other. In SeptemberA variety of hot and cold bever- work was done toages and snacks are coordinat- clean and organ-ed, purchased and served in the ize in the Minis-Gallery on the Pali after each ter’s Office to getChurch Service. ready for our newThe baked goods are donated Minister, Rev. T.from Safeway in Kailua. We also J. FitzGerald.enjoy donated items from theCongregation. Janice Marie We let the Wor- ship Team knowFruit, savory snacks, and bakery that the Aesthet-items are served after the 10:00 ics Team will buy a new lec-Service. tern that the Worship Team will choose.Pretzels, popcorn and fruitsnacks are provided for the Chil- The team continues to workdren’s Table. on cleaning and organizing the back room, the pantryVolunteer Opportunities are and the cooking kitchenavailable to everyone in the cupboards.Congregation. Our plans for the future in-The Team Members who work Marshall Sue Sheila clude:regularly have found the oppor-tunity of working on the team a A First Unitarian Church offun and joyful way to give to the Honolulu sign to hang below theCongregation. red cedar chalice in the stairwaySome of the amazing volunteers niche.who make Hospitality happeninclude: Recover the bench on the front porch.The Windward Chalice Circle, Organize the small office.Leanne McIntire, Beverly Lahr,Marie Anne, Carmen and Janice Emily Clean out all the closets.Davis, Dennis Graue, Emily Come and be part of thisMotl, Carmen, Sue Greene, fantastic team.Leanne MacIntire, Beverly Lahr, Current members: Marie AnneMarshall Heaney, and Kathy Aesthetics Team ([email protected]) andKaknes Cynthia Lynch (Co-Chairs)Please contact Marie Anne The purpose of the Aesthetics Janice Davis, Betsy Brandt,(Chair/Manager, Team is to identify interior and Nancy Schildt and [email protected]) to learn exterior areas of the Church in Queenthhow you can be part of this need of improvement in order toteam. create a more aesthetically (Photos by C.B. Morgan) pleasing, serene, safe and clean Kukui Lamalama...November 2017...Page 16

Chalice Circles who meet twice a month for two hours to explore preselected topics using the deep Deep Listening listening/deep sharing format.Let us listen… Come to: Connect with othersJust for a whileLet us silence our mindsAnd open our hearts. Experience & devel- op deep sharing/deepJust for a while But here… listening skillsLet us listen from within. Benefit from beingListen… part of a caringNot to gain knowledge, Here in this precious time of communityNot to formulate questions, sharing Questions? Interested in partici-Rather to chance upon Let us listen… pating? Don’t see a location orSacred bonds and Let the words wash over us timing that works for you?Profound wisdom. And seep into a still, quietJust for a while pool. Contact us! Carla Allison,Let us not seek information Let us listen. [email protected] answers. 396-1488. Locations, Dates & Times:Let us not rouse the intellect Mary-Elizabeth Cotton, Unitarian Hawaii Kai: 2nd & 4th MondaysBut embrace the spirit. Universalist Fellowship of the @ 6:30 - 8:30 pm Peninsula, Newport News, VA Nu’uanu: 2nd & 4th TuesdaysIf thoughts cloud the brain @ 10:00 am - 12:00 pmMay we let them pass. Ready to experience being lis- Kailua: 2nd & 4th Saturdays @ tened to and connecting with 3:00 - 5:00 pmIf replies tingle on the tongue. others in a way you may yet to Kaka’ako: 2nd & 4th MondaysLet us breathe them away have experienced in your life? @ 6:30 -- 8:30 pmsilently. Always open to new members, Lower Manoa: 1st & 3rd Mon-Return to them later Chalice Circles are 5--12 people days @ 6:30 -- 8:30 pmGet To Know Our New Members City. They have attended FUCH on and off forback to Oahu in 2007. She has worked in state most of the past 7 years.domestic violence coalitions, retail, 4-H youth de- Mitsue Stoutvelopment, taught college, been a horsetrack Mitsue has been coming to our church for manyhand, bartender, done event coordination, is a years, but just signed the book in May. MitsueCertified Master Gardener, permaculturist, lacta- was born and raised on Hawaii Island. She livedtion educator and now owns her businesses. She on the continent for a while and was married andwrites and blogs and is working on a children’s had a career as a teacher and librarian. Mitsuebook. She’s mother to Ethan, age 8 and Kara, has volunteered for the Democratic Party andage 3.5 and dogs Lucy and Bella. The Golay- Friends of the Library, Foster Gardens and LyonSwizdor ohana lives in Pacific Palisades in Pearl Arboretum as well as with us. Kukui Lamalama...November 2017...Page 17

Our Traveling Members Imiloa Borland Returns From DRUUMM Imiloa is now back home in Hawaii after a whirlwind weekend at DRUUMM in New Jersey. From October 20 to 22, DRUUMM (Diverse Revolutionary UU Multicultural Ministries) had a spiritual retreat in the forest near the Jersey shore. Five teens and 25 adult POC (People of Color) including those who identified as Black, Asian, Latino, Arab, Native- American and mixed race lived the mission of DRUUMM: “to fulfill the Journey Towards Wholeness Resolution to- wards becoming an anti-racist, anti-oppressive, multicul- tural UUA, creating space for youth, young adult and our families of color to heal and work collectively, and stew- ard an effective organization that develops new leader-ship and manages consistent communication with members.” (From the DRUUMM Website)We are all looking forward to hear Imiloa tell us of her experiences. (Photo by C. B. Morgan)Joel Merchant is in the lead across a seriously rickety footbridge from Mekong River anchorage intoa Cambodian Muslim village (October 2017). (Photo provided by Joel Merchant)Page 18...November 2017...Kukui Lamalama

Please Join Us For…. C’est Si Bon! A Celebration of Margaret Mann Friday, December 1, 2017 6:00-8:30 pm At the First Unitarian Church of Honolulu* 2500 Pali Highway Honolulu HI, 96817 Margaret’s friends, family, and fans are invited to a French bistro-themed evening Where we will enjoy dinner, drinks, music, stories, and some delightful surprises as we fete our tres cher amie! Costumes in a French theme highly encouraged! Reservations Required Please RSVP to Sue Greene at 707-834-2252 Or [email protected] by November 19, 2017. Space is limited. When responding, please indicate how many in your party, and your meal choice of: Beef Bourguignon OR Coq au Vin OR Vegan Ratatouille Suggested Donation At The Door $20.00. Contributions after costs will be given to an endowment fund or charity in Margaret’s name. *Please note that this is NOT a First Unitarian Church-sponsored event it is a private function.Page 19...November 2017...Kukui Lamalama

Notes From Our PWR* We're Not the Hotel California And when our lead- ers get hooked by'Relax' said the night man, fear of Jenny and'We are programmed to receive. William and TerryYou can check out any time you like, resigning and tak-But you can never leave!' ing their pledges—The Eagles, \"Hotel California\" with them, we canIt's hard when people that we really like stop par- easily get side-ticipating in our congregation. Perhaps they've tracked from ourgotten burned out, and they need to back away mission.for a while. Perhaps their theology and valueshave evolved and they need something different. Rev. Sarah Gibb We start asking,Perhaps they don't like the way that our congre- Millspaugh \"How can we makegation has changed. There are so many reasons them happy again?\"people leave. (Photo provided by PWR) instead of askingThough this happens all the time, I'm noticing the question most fundamental to oursomething that seems new. In this time of high purpose, \"How are we living our mission?\"cultural fear and anxiety, and at this time whenmany of our congregations have anxiety about Especially in smaller congregations, where thesustaining our programs and buildings, staffing impact of one unhappy member can be large, it'sand budgets, I'm noticing us getting really worried easy to let our de facto mission become \"makingabout people leaving. everybody happy.\"Part of that worry is healthy and good: we really A healthy congregation is like a living organism, aliked these folks who left, and we're sad they've collection of cells. New cells are coming into it,moved on. But part of that worry hurts us. How old cells are going out of it. The organism has adoes it hurt us? purpose, a mission.In two ways. If we're focused on that mission, then we must accept that not everyone will stick around forever,One way it hurts us is it subverts our affirmation and not everyone will be happy. Some of the oldof the \"free and responsible search for truth and cells that used to energize the congregation aremeaning.\" We're not the Hotel California, for going to disconnect and drop off. It's part of thegoodness sake. People can leave and it can be life cycle of a congregation; it's part of the life cy-OK. cle of a living, changing human being.The second way it hurts is that it subverts our And when we accept that, we can look to themission. Anxiety about \"people leaving\" can work of cultivating new cells. With joy and creativ-cause leaders of a congregation to become more ity and curiosity, we can connect with the newanxious about keeping people happy. folks whose lives would be enhanced by joining\"Jenny's not coming because she thinks we're with us in living our mission.doing too much social justice and not enough Who are we called to be as congregations?spirituality.\" How are we living our life-affirming faith in this hurting, threatened world? Let us focus on that to\"William stopped coming because the minister carry us into the future.said 'God.'\" Warmly,\"Terry dropped out feeling mad because we Rev. Sarah Gibb Millspaughstopped hosting the community theater Congregational Life Staffcompany.\" Pacific Western Region*Page 20...November 2017...Kukui Lamalama

Happenings At UU Leeward OhanaDan & T. J. T. J. Wows Sue The Leeward Ohana On Saturday, October 14, at 5:00 pm, Rev. T. J. FitzGerald presented a fantastic Sermon entitled, “Under the Rainbow.” T. J. is First Unitarian’s Minister and his Sermon talked about promises or covenants which have been with us since ancient times. Covenants we make, covenants we break, and covenants we re- make are at the heart of the ways we care for one another. T. J. looked at how our own covenants can strengthen our connections to the universe and to one another. This Service was held at the Waianae home of Sue and Dan Carpenter and was followed by our Fa- mous, Fabulous Pot Luck Our Next Service Is Saturday, November 11, 5:00 pm & Is Entitled: Gratitude Or Thankfulness Is there a difference between being grateful and be- ing thankful? Are they really the same or are they different? If they are different is one more spiritually enlightening than the other? We will be in Mililani (at Stephanie Teraoka’s home) as we look at these two expressions via discussion, readings and a Ted Talk. As always after the Service, we will have our Fa- mous, Fabulous Pot Luck. All are welcome. For more information, please contact Charlotte Mor- gan at [email protected]. SEE YOU ON NOVEMBER 11th IN MILILANI…. Kukui Lamalama...November 2017...Page 21

News From RE RE Team December 24th- Karen V. & Eleanor to lead. Regular morning Service. No Rehearsal Pageant (Religious Education) in late afternoon/evening. A story that emphasiz- es UU values. No RE in the morning, just Phyllis Report & Sylvia for childcare. Helping Hands Hawaii- Laura Goemans to callWith the sad loss of the Gillis-Davis Ohana, & coordinatemany have stepped up to take on the multitude Tree Trimming- November 25th. Eleanor & Nan-of needs for RE. I am concerned however about cy getting tree. Melissa will lead/coordinate pot-being able to sustain volunteers as it takes peo- luck (Thanksgiving Leftovers)ple away from Sunday Services. Please see be- Stone Soup- 2nd Sunday in January. Nancy co-low for RE Team plans. ordinator. Lori Ford & Gerdeine to cook, StevenMahalo, Compton to assist if available.Rachel Compton RE Spring Curriculum- possible ComparativeRE Co-Chairs- Rachel Compton & Laura Religions curriculum as a follow up to ADORE.Goemans New Year's Eve Sunday- Gerdeine will host aSunday RE Volunteer Spots- have all been costume ball, cookies, & snack party at churchfilled for current semester. 3:30-7:00pm. Michael Gurney to assist.YFOCG- Eleanor Kleiber & Blake PorterSFAA- Karen Valasek & Lori FordWorship Team Liason- Karen Valasek November 19th !?!?!?!?!? Yes, you have until November 19th to make your reservation to Margaret Mann’s Celebration: C’est Si Bon! Go back to page 19 to get the details. Until we meet again: Bonjour.Page 22...November 2017...Kukui Lamalama

Memorial for Wilma Remembering Our Dear To volunteer to help please contact: Wilma Carla AllisonWe will be celebrating the exciting life of our ad- [email protected] Wilma Juanita Oksendahl at our 396--1488Church on or Friday Ron Brasher December 8, 2017 [email protected] 5:00 to 7:00 pm.The Service will include the video of Wilma’s sky-diving adventure in 2010 at age 84.Wilma was a teacher, an activist, a world travelerand a hard working Member of our Church.Whenever there was a lunch or an event, Wilmawas there to help.Join us on December 8th to hear more about Wil-ma’s extraordinary life.Following the Service, there will be a PotluckSupper.Photo by Leslie Horn Pride Parade In Honolulu Ready To Start (More photos on page 25) Kukui Lamalama...November 2017...Page 23

Appreciation & Appeal(L to R) Molly Rowland, Carolyn Eaton, Hilkka Easter- Shirley Parola with husband Gene werewood are long time Greeters. Carolyn also is a Parker. Greeters for many years. (Photo by C.B. Morgan) (Photo by C.B. Morgan)For a long time the smiling faces of Nancy Mower Services, and you are invited to join in this act ofand her son Rick have welcomed visitors and stewardship.Members to Services on the first Sunday of eachmonth. Their faithful service has been appreciat- Please talk to Molly Rowland at Church or called very much, and we thank them. We’re glad we her at 988-4426 if you think you might be will-can still expect to see Nancy and Rick whenever ing and able.her health permits. We are also in need of volunteer parking direc- tors. Molly recruits and schedules them too, soWith the retirement of Nancy and Rick and the please let her know if you are interested.earlier loss of Shirley and Gene Parola as regulargreeters, we are in need of additional volunteers. Training is provided by experienced “Parkers,”Greeters help create a welcoming presence and and you get to wear an orange vest and pith hel-facilitate the smooth functioning of our Sunday met if you want to. CERT Training Could Save Lives Take the CERT (Community Emergency Response Team) Training and learn about emergency preparedness.Trainings are held at Department of Emergency Management in the Fasi Municipal Building at 650 South King Street. Should you have any further questions, please contact Jeff Spencer at [email protected] 24...November 2017...Kukui Lamalama

(Photos by Sue Yamane-Carpenter) We Were There Pride Parade October 21, 2017 Honolulu Hawaii Kukui Lamalama...November 2017...Page 25

Church CalendarWednesday, November 1, 20176:00 pm Worship Team (Gallery)7:00 pm Book Discussion Group (FHR)Thursday, November 2, 20172:00 pm Beginning Hawaiian Language7:00 pm Band Sunday Rehearsal (Sanctuary)Saturday, November 4, 20179:00 am Sof Ma'arav (Downstairs)1:00 pm Sof Ma'arav (FHR, Sanctuary)3:00 pm Council of Chairs Meeting (Gallery)5:00 pm Y/F Ohana Covenant Group (MR1, 5, FHR, Gallery if possible)Sunday, November 5, 20179:00 am Band Rehearsal (Sanctuary)9:00 am RE Team (MR#1)10:00 am RE Program for Children (Upstairs) (L to R) Alex, Ben, Jack, and Owen Gillis-Davis10:00 am RE Teen Group (FHR) (Photo by Nancy Young)10:00 am Sunday Service (Sanctuary) Sunday, November 12, 201711:30 am Social Justice Council Congregational 9:00 am Band Rehearsal (Sanctuary) 10:00 am RE Program for Children (Upstairs) Meeting (Sanctuary)Monday, November 6, 2017 10:00 am RE Teen Group (FHR)All Day Church & Grounds Closed Mondays 10:00 am Sunday Service (Sanctuary)Wednesday, November 8, 2017 Monday, November 13, 20176:30 pm Social Justice Council (Gallery) All Day Church & Grounds Closed Mondays7:00 pm Building Team (FHR) Wednesday, November 15, 2017Thursday, November 9, 2017 6:00 pm 'Ohana Potluck and Games (Gallery)2:00 pm Beginning Hawaiian Language (Gallery) 6:30 pm Chalice Circle Facilitator Session (FHR)4:00 pm A Dialogue on Race and Ethnicity Thursday, November 16, 2017 2:00 pm Beginning Hawaiian Language (Gallery) (A.D.O.R.E.) Jubilee Anti-Racism 7:00 pm Band Sunday Rehearsal (Sanctuary) Training (Sanctuary, FHR, Gallery) Friday, November 17, 20176:15 pm Feminist Thealogy (FHR) 2:00 pm Art Exhibit Take Down (Gallery)7:00 pm Band Sunday Rehearsal (Sanctuary) 6:30 pm ONO - Opera Night Out (Sanctuary)Friday, November 10, 2017 Saturday, November 18, 2017All day Veteran's Day Holiday 9:00 am Sof Ma'arav (Downstairs)8:00 am A Dialogue on Race and Ethnicity 1:00 pm Sof Ma'arav (FHR, Sanctuary) (A.D.O.R.E.) Jubilee Anti-Racism 1:30pm Board Workshop with Jan Christian Training (Sanctuary, FHR, Gallery)Saturday, November 11, 2017 (Room 1)8:00 am A Dialogue on Race and Ethnicity 2:00 pm Art Exhibit Installation (Gallery)(A.D.O.R.E.) Jubilee Anti-Racism 5:30 pm Y/F Ohana Covenant Group (MR1, 5,Training (Sanctuary, FHR, Gallery) FHR, Gallery if possible)Page 26...November 2017...Kukui Lamalama

Church CalendarSunday, November 19, 2017 Saturday, December 2, 20179:00 am Band Rehearsal (Sanctuary) 9:00 am Sof Ma'arav (Downstairs)10:00 am RE Program for Children (Upstairs) 1:00 pm Sof Ma'arav (FHR, Sanctuary)10:00 am RE Teen Group (FHR) 4:00 pm Art Exhibit Reception (Gallery)10:00 am Sunday Service (Sanctuary) Sunday, December 3, 201712:00 pm Monthly Magazine Submission 9:00 am Band Rehearsal (Sanctuary) 9:00 am RE Team (MR#1) Deadline 10:00 am RE Program for Children (Upstairs)Monday, November 20, 2017 10:00 am RE Teen Group (FHR)All Day Church & Grounds Closed Mondays 10:00 am Sunday Service (Sanctuary)Tuesday, November 21, 2017 12:30 pm Association of Hawaii Archivists Social6:30 pm Gallery Team (Gallery)Wednesday, November 22, 2017 (Gallery, Kitchen)6:30 pm Board Meeting (Gallery) Monday, December 4, 2017Thursday, November 23, 2017 All Day Church & Grounds Closed MondaysAll Day Thanksgiving Day (Church Holiday) Wednesday, December 6, 20172:00 pm Beginning Hawaiian Language (Gallery) 6:00 pm Worship Team (Gallery)3:00 pm Thanksgiving Dinner Potluck 7:00 pm Book Discussion Group (FHR) Thursday, December 7, 2017 (Downstairs) 2:00 pm Beginning Hawaiian Language (Gallery)6:15 pm Feminist Thealogy (FHR) 7:00 pm Band Sunday Rehearsal (Sanctuary)7:00 pm Band Sunday Rehearsal (Sanctuary)Friday, November 24, 2017 Friday, December 8, 2017All Day Post Thanksgiving (Church Holiday) 5:00 pm Wilma Family Style MemorialSaturday, November 25, 20179:00 am Sof Ma'arav (Downstairs) (Sanctuary, Gallery, Kitchen)1:00 pm Sof Ma'arav (FHR, Sanctuary) Saturday, December 9, 20174:00 pm Christmas Decorating & Potluck 9:00 am Sof Ma'arav (Downstairs) 1:00 pm Sof Ma'arav (FHR, Sanctuary) (Sanctuary, Gallery, kitchen) Sunday, December 10, 2017Sunday, November 26, 2017 9:00 am Band Rehearsal (Sanctuary)9:00 am Band Rehearsal (Sanctuary) 10:00 am RE Program for Children (Upstairs)10:00 am RE Program for Children (Upstairs) 10:00 am RE Teen Group (FHR)10:00 am RE Teen Group (FHR) 10:00 am Sunday Service (Sanctuary)10:00 am Sunday Service (Sanctuary)Monday, November 27, 2017All Day Church & Grounds Closed MondaysTuesday, November 28, 20176:30 pm All Believers Network (Sanctuary)Thursday, November 30, 20172:00 pm Beginning Hawaiian Language (Gallery)7:00 pm Band Sunday Rehearsal (Sanctuary)Friday, December 1, 20176:00 pm C'est Si Bon; Margaret Mann Party (Sanctuary, Gallery, Kitchen) Kukui Lamalama...November 2017...Page 27

First Unitarian Church of Honolulu A WelcomingUnitarian Universalist Church 2500 Pali Highway, Honolulu, HI 96817RETURN SERVICE REQUESTEDPhone: 808-595-4047Web: www.unitariansofhi.orgFacebook: First Unitarian Church of HonoluluTwitter: UUHonoluluOffice Hrs: Tuesday-Friday 9:00 am to 2:30 pm dailyWeb: www.unitariansofhi.orgPublication InformationThe deadline for both hard ready to view. New subscribers will haveand electronic copy for the www.unitariansofhi.org their subscriptions proratedMagazine is Noon on the * If a Member does not have quarterly: Fifteen dollarsThird Sunday of the month. an email address, the Maga- ($15.00) for nine (9) months;Typeface—Arial, 12 point zine will be mailed to the Ten Dollars ($10.00) for six (6)Format—Single space. Block Member at no cost. months; Five Dollars ($5.00)paragraphs. One line space * If an Oahu based Member for (3) months.between has an email address and * The subscriber may sendparagraphs. wants a paper copy of the the subscription check to theNO—Indentations, tabs, all Magazine, she/he may pick it Church Office, Attention:caps, bolding, centering, ta- up at Church. Magazine Subscription.bles, colors * For any Member or Friend Please write “Magazine Sub- who has an email address scription” on the checkSection Word Limits and wants a copy of the Mag- memo.Please limit your copy to azine mailed to them, there * A reminder notice may be100-200 words. will be a $20.00/year sub- put into the subscriber’s Mag-N.B. The editors may edit any scription fee, payable in ad- azine in November.piece for content, length, and vance. clarity.Please bring hard copy to the Mail Subscription Poli- Publisher: cy Church Office or email Nancy Schildt * The Magazine Sub- electronic copy to scription fee is Editor &[email protected]. $20.00/year, payable in CompositionMagazine Mailing Policy advance. Charlotte MorganAll Members and Friends with * The subscription Distribution:email addresses registered year is the calendaron our website will receive an year: January to De- Suzette Tomemail notification when the cember.Newsletter is uploaded and