PATH TO PERSONAL HAPPINESS (PPH) A holistic approach
GUIDE PATH TO PERSONAL HAPPINESS (PPH) Edition English
Edición: Editorial A.B.C. Vélez 1915 y Carchi. Whatsapp: (+593) 998751380 ermelaguirre_gonzalez@ hotmail.com www.edupedia.ec Guayaquil-Ecuador Derechos Reservados® SENADI / ISBN Servicios Nacionales Derechos Intelectuales It is prohibited the total or partial reproduction of this work both images and text without the authorization of the Author. © JULY 2022 [email protected]
GUIDE - PATH TO PERSONAL HAPPINESS (PPH) PART 1 This PPH guide was designed with a holistic approach from the beginning to the end of from positive psychology and personal growth. Its content shows how to achieve long-lasting inner peace and happiness while enjoying the journey. This guide considers the outer and inner world and explains how to grow out and in a It outlines a path based on two pillars: 3
GUIDE - PATH TO PERSONAL HAPPINESS (PPH) It’s a fact that we all want to be happy but... How do you achieve Happiness Quiet and inner peace? I invite you to start this journey “In search of Personal Happiness” 4
GUIDE - PATH TO PERSONAL HAPPINESS (PPH) The Meaning of Life In a philosophy class, a teacher, without saying a word, picked up a large clear glass vase students whether the vase was full or not, and they responded that it was full. Again, without saying anything, the teacher picked up a box full of marbles and emptied it into the vase. the golf balls. Once again, the teacher asked his students if the vase was full and they said yes. Then, the teacher emptied a box of sand empty spaces, and the teacher asked again, if the vase was full. On this occasion, the students responded with a unanimous “yes”. 5
GUIDE - PATH TO PERSONAL HAPPINESS (PPH) The teacher said to them: “I want you to realize that this vase represents life”. The golf balls as growing inwardly, practicing positive attitudes, leading a healthy life, gaining strength and mental maturity, promoting noble values, working on self- esteem and acquiring self-control. Despite losing everything else, if these were all that remained, our lives would still be full. The marbles represent other things that matter, such as well-being, understanding the world around us and understanding human behavior, acquiring criteria, having common sense, developing social skills, etc. 6
GUIDE - PATH TO PERSONAL HAPPINESS (PPH) The sand is everything else; simple things like (washing the car, cleaning the house, doing small crafts, going to the movies, etc.). There would be no room for the marbles or golf balls in the vase if we put the sand in The same thing happens with life. If we spend all our time and energy on secondary things, we will not have room for what matters. 7
GUIDE - PATH TO PERSONAL HAPPINESS (PPH) remember that the rest is just sand! Stop for a moment and ask yourself: What are my goals? What matters to me? “It’s not that we have little time, but more that we waste a good deal of it. Seneca Philosopher Roman (4 a.C.-65 D.C.) “In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years” Abraham Lincoln, US President (1809-1865) 8
GUIDE - PATH TO PERSONAL HAPPINESS (PPH) “Life is fascinating: you just have to look at it through the right glasses” Alexandre Dumas, French writer (1802-1870) To start the Path to Personal Happiness (PPH) two requirements are necessary: Have a clear life project and a willingness to change “There is nothing impossible to him who will try” Alexander the Great Macedonian conqueror. (356-323 B.C.) Growing inward and outward in a healthy balance 9
GUIDE - PATH TO PERSONAL HAPPINESS (PPH) If you have ever asked yourself: What am I How to get What changes like? what I want? would I have to make to achieve Who do I want to be? my goals? Answering these questions will help you get to know yourself better, and know what How do you obtain inner growth? It is imperative to start by having a healthy lifestyle, eating healthy, practicing sports. Managing and controlling emotions, especially the visceral ones like anger, sadness and fear. Practicing positive attitudes and being optimistic but realistic. 10
GUIDE - PATH TO PERSONAL HAPPINESS (PPH) Moreover, gaining self-control and taking control of your life. Acquiring maturity adversity. Promoting the importance of ethical and moral values in society. Improving self-esteem to become stronger and more independent. Accepting your temporality and being aware of the brevity of life. inner peace, an optimal state of mind, calm-energy and experiencing longer-lasting happiness. It’s all about... ... building your Being! It grows within and grows without! As long as the two are in balance, having is the result of the being. 11
GUIDE - PATH TO PERSONAL HAPPINESS (PPH) being! And How to grow out? How do I achieve Having? By understanding the world around you and gaining mental clarity and a critical spirit to read reality as it is. 12
GUIDE - PATH TO PERSONAL HAPPINESS (PPH) Developing intellectual autonomy, skills, and abilities to progress in life. Developing social skills to get along the best you can with people and things around you, learning to accept others as they are. Acquiring your own criteria and common sense to make good decisions and to avoid repeating errors whenever possible. Being able to meet your basic needs and if your wish, increase your material well- being, enjoying it moderately and sensibly. Simplify problems! He who moderates himself by getting enough will always be satiated! (*) All this for what? 13
GUIDE - PATH TO PERSONAL HAPPINESS (PPH) Live in the present moment with a positive attitude, tranquility, serenity and a sense of satisfaction. Control the ego and calm the mind to achieve peace and calm. Smooth rough edges in this polarized world, that only sees irreconcilable opposites; such as love and hate, good and evil, war and peace, wealth and poverty, friend and foe, etc., regardless of the wide range of shades. Remember that what you say and do determines what happens in your life! (*) “The Wheel” presents a graphic representation of the Path Personal Happiness (PPH) “The Wheel” (PPH) 14
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GUIDE - PATH TO PERSONAL HAPPINESS (PPH) Three circles on the left Being. The three circles on the right show the growth of the Having; however, the Having should be in the service of the Being. Because if we only feed the Having, in the face of adversity, we would not be able to manage emotions properly. Being, we will be able to handle any misfortune that comes our way. The circle in the center encourages us to enjoy the world’s good the outside world, to live the present moment with a positive attitude and to Transcend and help others at the end of the journey. As the graph indicates, we must always possess courage, perseverance, wisdom, motivation and strength. 16
GUIDE - PATH TO PERSONAL HAPPINESS (PPH) And as a philosophy of life BE – DO - HAVE - TRANSCEND “My happiness consists in the fact that I know how to appreciate what I have and I do not wish with excess what I do not have” Leo Tolstoy, Russian writer (1828-1910) To achieve balance in your life, you must recognize the enormous power around you. If you can live that way, you are a wise person” Euripides, Greek tragic poet (480-406 B.C.) 17
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GUIDE - PATH TO PERSONAL HAPPINESS (PPH) As we see in the PPH Triangle, the path begins by being motivated and determined. In this way, we can obtain what we want in life. It is not easy. It requires desire and 19
GUIDE - PATH TO PERSONAL HAPPINESS (PPH) Motivation is the fuel that gives you strength, pushes you to your goals and makes your wishes come true. When we are motivated, our brain produces neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin that make us feel euphoria, pleasure and satisfaction, encouraging us to achieve our goals. “Success is not always winning but never getting discouraged” Napoleon Bonaparte, French Emperor (1769- 1821) 20
GUIDE - PATH TO PERSONAL HAPPINESS (PPH) Determination is the ability that drives us to achieve the desired goal despite the The Buddha (V-IV B.C.) “Starting is half the work; start again with half remaining and you will be done” Aurelius, Roman Emperor (121-180 A.D.) them in what is more manageable, one small goal at a time. (*) With motivation and determination opening up options and opportunities to achieve a clare project in life. 21
GUIDE - PATH TO PERSONAL HAPPINESS (PPH) The second step of the PPH Triangle shows us A healthy life is necessary; you can achieve it with On a biological level, your bones will be strengthened and your tension will be balanced. On a psychological level, your memory will be improved. Socially, you will achieve positive social integration and healthy human interactions. 22
GUIDE - PATH TO PERSONAL HAPPINESS (PPH) A Healthy diet Increases productivity. Increases energy. Protect the body from diseases. Reduces the primary stress hormone (cortisol). A good diet today will lead to a healthy body tomorrow! “Eat to live, don't live to eat” Socrates, Greek philosopher (470-399 B.C.) 23
GUIDE - PATH TO PERSONAL HAPPINESS (PPH) Moving forward with the PPH Triangle What should we do with our Values? We could acquire new ones, discard those values that do not bring us happiness, and modify our current ones. Our values determine who we are. Values guide our lives and help us achieve our dreams, goals, wishes and objectives. “Honesty is the best policy when money is involved” Mark Twain, American writer (1835-1910) 24
GUIDE - PATH TO PERSONAL HAPPINESS (PPH) Three essential values 1. Empathy: The ability to understand another’s perspective; is an essential skill ideas. Understand more and judge less! “Educating the mind without educating the heart is not educating at all” Aristotle, Greek philosopher (384-322 B.C.) 25
GUIDE - PATH TO PERSONAL HAPPINESS (PPH) listen attentively. We should focus on the content of the message of our interlocutor. A Turkish proverb says: “If talking is silver, listening is gold” We have two ears and one mouth to listen twice as much as we speak! Epictetus, Greek philosopher (50-135 A.D.) Listening is a faculty, talent and virtue that very few people have. Be sure to develop your active listening if you want to improve your communication. 26
GUIDE - PATH TO PERSONAL HAPPINESS (PPH) When communicating with a person, watch if you are thinking about your answer instead of listening. 2. Assertiveness: Personal ability to express what we feel and think politely and respectfully, getting others to understand our situation. It is one of the skills for good communication. “Treat others as you would like to be treated” Jesus of Nazareth (4 B.C.-30-33 A.D.) 3. Respect: It leads to not judging others and not wanting to change their way of being, accepting their way of thinking and acting. “Respect yourself and others will respect you” Confucius, Chinese thinker (551-479 B.C.) 27
GUIDE - PATH TO PERSONAL HAPPINESS (PPH) “Not even your worst enemy can hurt you as much as your own thoughts” The Buddha (5th-4th B.C.) 28
GUIDE - PATH TO PERSONAL HAPPINESS (PPH) Continuing with the PPH Triangle intellectual autonomy, skills and abilities neccesary to understand the world around you. We must also understand human behavior and develop social skills to interact appropriately with others. In everyday life, we can meet many kinds of people, among them, toxic people. they criticize and label others. 29
GUIDE - PATH TO PERSONAL HAPPINESS (PPH) little as possible. However, positive people (Vitamin people) are kind, cheerful and optimistic, respect you and transmit positive energies to you. Relate and interact with Vitamin positive people. Your mind and soul will appreciate it! 30
GUIDE - PATH TO PERSONAL HAPPINESS (PPH) And we must not ignore the importance of material well-being, as we observe in the PPH Triangle It is necessary to be able to count on our material resources. Although it is impossible to buy happiness with money, it can provide the necessary can also enjoy our material well- being with greater rationality if we strive for it. “The best limit for money is the one that does not allow falling into poverty or stay away from her” Seneca, Roman philosopher (2 B.C.-65 A.D.) The joy provided by material goods is usually transient and does not serve to calm hand in hand with our interest in growing as people. 31
GUIDE - PATH TO PERSONAL HAPPINESS (PPH) The emotions What are emotions? Emotions are physiological or psychological reactions of humans to external and internal stimulations, and these reactions are analyzed by the limbic system, our emotional brain. 32
GUIDE - PATH TO PERSONAL HAPPINESS (PPH) “The human body is the chariot; the self, the man who drives it; the thought is the reins and feelings are the horses” Plato, Greek philosopher (427-347 B.C.) It is possible to make decisions without running them through a rational thought process, leading us to decide based on emotions. Our impulses could lead us to say things we did not mean and will regret after. Making decisions impulsively, without taking the time to respond adequately and rationally, is a shortcut that the brain takes when making decision and must be avoided. “To enjoy good health, to bring true happiness to one’s family, Enlightenment and all wisdom and virtue will naturally come to him” The Buddha (5th-4th B.C.) 33
GUIDE - PATH TO PERSONAL HAPPINESS (PPH) The human brain is made up of the reptilian brain, the limbic system and the neocortex. 1. The limbic system or emotional brain The limbic system appears in the most primitive mammals and is responsible for regulating our emotions, although the reptilian brain is the most primitive part of our brain. It acts instinctively. The limbic system consists of several structures, including: The cerebral amygdala, which is essential for our survival, regulates our emotions situations such as danger, fear and anger. 34
GUIDE - PATH TO PERSONAL HAPPINESS (PPH) The hippocampus is linked to the memory of situations that generate emotions. The hypothalamus releases hormones to feel emotions. 2. The neocortex or rational brain: The neocortex allows awareness, control and coordination of emotions, among other functions. It is composed of the frontal lobe that is linked with cognitive functions and other actions. The prefrontal cortex, wich is responsible for regulating emotions and human behavior, coordinates, moderates and elaborates action plans. Additionally, it is important to note that we have a so-called “second brain” which is the Enteric Nervous System (ENS): It controls the digestive apparatus. It is composed of more than one hundred million neurons that function, among other things, thanks to neurotransmitters such as serotonin. Did you know that the “second brain” has an important role in our emotional well-being? Did you know that 80 percent of the immune system is housed in the so-called second brain? 35
GUIDE - PATH TO PERSONAL HAPPINESS (PPH) Did you know that taking care of your microbiota with a proper lifestyle and food give you more chances to be happy? Did you know that stress and high levels of cortisol deteriorate the bacterial barrier and contact with blood could be the origin of various autoimmune diseases? It is stated that the interaction between the cerebral amygdala and the prefrontal cortex results in “Emotional Intelligence” (EI). Emotional intelligence enhances personal development, promoting psychological well-being and increasing motivation to achieve goals. Self-knowledge is essential; it allows you to know what qualities you have, how you see yourself, what you expect, what you want and what your needs are. It is the recognition of your person. With emotional intelligence, we can manage our behavior appropriately through self- awareness, identifying emotions, and self-control 36
GUIDE - PATH TO PERSONAL HAPPINESS (PPH) Everything changes! You change! Adapt to change! The Greek philosopher Heraclitus of Ephesus (540- 480 B.C.) said: The world experiences a continual process of birth and destruction to which nothing escapes. That is, a constant therefore, the only permanent thing is change. Like many things in life, adverse and your goals. “Half of our mistakes in life arise from feeling when we ought to think and thinking when we ought to feel” John Churton Collins, English literary critic (1848-1908) resilience, which is the ability to adapt and overcome obstacles. Seneca, Roman writer (4 B.C.-65 A.D.) 37
GUIDE - PATH TO PERSONAL HAPPINESS (PPH) Some ways to build resilience Don’t see problems as obstacles. Accept that life changes. Pursue your goals. View yourself positively Do not lose hope. Create social relationships. “Failure is not falling, but refusing to get up” (Chinese Proverb) Resilience must always be carried your pocket! 38
GUIDE - PATH TO PERSONAL HAPPINESS (PPH) On the other hand, self-esteem is crucial in our personal development, how we value and judge ourselves, and how we see the positive things about ourselves. Your Self-esteem depends on how you accept yourself How to increase self-esteem? Ask yourself the reason for your low self- esteem. Try to replace your goals with values, even if you know you will fail. more than one. 39
GUIDE - PATH TO PERSONAL HAPPINESS (PPH) Turn your negative thoughts into positive ones. Don’t let fears block you. Forgive yourself and permit yourself to do what you want and what you love. Practice sports and help others.It wil help and comfort you. Don’t judge yourself and don’t criticize yourself. Just love yourself. “It matters much more what you think of yourself than what others think of you” Seneca, Roman philosopher (4 B.C.-65 A.D.) Practicing positive attitudes and having enthusiasm, illusion and hope is the health insurance for life, lengthening telomeres. And what are telomeres? They are the ends of the chromosomes (where our DNA is housed). The longer they are, the better our health will be, since they slow down aging. 40
GUIDE - PATH TO PERSONAL HAPPINESS (PPH) By practicing positive attitudes, you will relieve stress and anxiety! “Conquer the anger by not getting angry, conquer the stingy by generosity and the liar telling the truth” The Buddha (5th-4th B.C.) Practice natural drunkenness. Since our brains naturally secrete dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin, it is possible to get high naturally. Avoid anxiolytics, antidepressants or drug addiction. Avoid excesses! To practice positive attitudes Put on the right lenses at the right time. View the positive side of things, knowing and understanding that negativism exists, but consistently placing yourself in a pleasant situation. Have a sense of humor. 41
GUIDE - PATH TO PERSONAL HAPPINESS (PPH) Simplify problems and be pragmatic. Analyze what makes you unhappy and its causes. Identify negative emotions. Say no to anger, fear, impatience and worries. See the glass half full and be an optimistic but realistic person. Lighten the emotional load. Rely on external stimulus. Create good habits. Express gratitude, be generous and visualize success. 42
GUIDE - PATH TO PERSONAL HAPPINESS (PPH) And do not worry! If you have a problem, think about it, then disconnect and your subconscious will 43
GUIDE - PATH TO PERSONAL HAPPINESS (PPH) Practice this! Have the courage to live, wisdom to survive, respect to coexist, perseverance to achieve and talent to prosper. And don’t forget that the key is in the repetition of positive attitudes until they become habits, increasing the thickness of the cerebral cortex and causing us to act positively naturally without realizing it. And in the end, you will become artist of your life, just like master musicians who create lovely music from seven musical notes and beautiful combinations for us to enjoy. 44
GUIDE - PATH TO PERSONAL HAPPINESS (PPH) Continuing with the Path to Personal Happiness Practicing existential acceptance intelligently. With a cosmological vision, we can understand that human life is temporary. Therefore, we should intelligently accept our limitations, vulnerability and transcendence; aware that we live on a small planet in the middle of the immensity of the universe. “What we know is a drop of water, what we ignore is an ocean” Isaac Newton, English physicist (1643-1727) Since we depend on chance; we are vulnerable to any cosmic catastrophe, terrestrial disaster and other events that could cause our extinction; therefore, we should try to be better people, building a better world. Continuing the PPH Triangle Mental strength our mind determines the quality of our emotions, decisions, and actions. 45
GUIDE - PATH TO PERSONAL HAPPINESS (PPH) With mental strength, we will be able to focus our attention on the objective, have necessary resources and tools to make things properly. “Fear is always willing to see things worse than they are” Tito Livy, Roman historian (59 B.C.-17 A.D.) 46
GUIDE - PATH TO PERSONAL HAPPINESS (PPH) On the other hand, it is also important to cultivate emotional strength, to not allow ourselves to be carried away by visceral emotions that are harmful to our lives. By acquiring a certain mental and emotional strength we will arrive at a greater or to a lesser extent emotional maturity. “Do not consult your fears but your hopes and your dreams, don’t think about your frustrations but on Pope John XXII (1249-1334) 47
GUIDE - PATH TO PERSONAL HAPPINESS (PPH) Rather than being born mature, we become mature through the experiences we have had, the education we have received and the personalities we possess. Some keys to reaching greater maturity and feeling better Control your emotions. Trust yourself. Get rid of the confusion. Be patient with others. Be generous, respectful and tolerant. Be perseverant with your desires and goals. Help and support others. Accept your mistakes Don’t criticize, don’t judge, and don’t label. Understand that things don’t always go the way you want. 48
GUIDE - PATH TO PERSONAL HAPPINESS (PPH) Meditate. It will improve your sleep, anxiety and stress. Relax your mind. It will make you feel much better physically. Reconcile reason with emotion! 49
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