Why Not Me A feeling of millions (English version) (Agrawal, Anubhav [Agrawal, Anubhav])

["-\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0The way we accept people, we have to be accepted in the same way. -\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 You can never forget someone, but after a while it stops creating an impact on your heart and mind. Hence, -\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Give time the time to heal you. I am sure you will feel better. I learnt many more lessons like this before Zoya came into my life, or after she left me. I never turned around to look back at Zoya after that night. I wouldn\u2019t say that I had no pain or hurt about it, I did, but I didn\u2019t let it control me. All these emotions that I had in my heart, I wanted to let them out, because if they stayed inside they\u2019d make a home there, and destroying it would be next to impossible. I never liked writing, but I still thought that I should pen down my feelings. After having your heart broken, many people will tell you what to do and how to do it. But the only person that can save you from the pain is yourself. I started pouring my heart out while writing. In the year 2016, instagram had turned really popular. I had a personal profile, and I started writing captions on the pictures. I\u2019d write whatever I felt in the caption. The lessons I learnt, the feelings I felt, everything. I had a lot of my friends following me on Instagram, college friends, school friends, or the people who never noticed me in both these places. And after a while, I started receiving messages and comments about and on my post. \u201cThis has happened with me.\u201d \u201cHow do you know about all these things? This is very relatable.\u201d \u201cYou write really well. You\u2019ve become the heart of my voice. Thank you.\u201d","When I read all these comments and messages, I realised that I can do this. I created a page. I can help people with this page, I can put all their feelings into words. The ones that they cannot speak of to someone. I myself hadn\u2019t come out of all the things that happened yet, but I knew the difference between the rights and the wrongs. I created a community page with the name of, Iwritewhatyoufeel. The name itself speaks to the purpose of the page. Putting people's feelings into words. I dreamt of creating a community where everybody could pour their feelings out without being judged. A place where they could realise that they\u2019re not alone, and that many other people are going through the same thing. And a place where they\u2019d find all the answers they seek. I started posting day and night on the community page Iwritewhatyoufeel. The posts that people loved, they shared it. And within a few months we were a community of 25,000 people. People sent me direct messages, or on comments, stating their issues and problems and I tried to answer as many as I could. People started trusting me, trusting that I could help them come out of all the pain that they\u2019re going through. I had finally stopped thinking about Zoya. She never replied to those birthday messages. Though I always felt that I deserved at least a \u2018Thank you\u2019 message. But I never felt bad about it. July passed, it had almost been a year now. I was still coming out of all that. My college life was back on track, I had started focusing on my studies a bit. People did question me about Zoya every now and then, Did she reply? Did she call you? And all I ever answered was, \u201cI don\u2019t think talking about it is necessary now. She\u2019s gone from my life for good, and I don\u2019t want to know about it anymore.\u201d \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Pawni always convinced me that I should go out with another girl, or at least think of dating someone. She\u2019d always point to some new girl everyday and ask me, \u201cBro, how\u2019s this one? She is pretty. You\u2019ll make the best couple.\u201d","\u201cStop running your imagination horses. Have you opened up a marriage bureau? I am happily single, can\u2019t you bear the fact? Take a deep breath! And let it go.\u201d We kept fighting and quarreling about all these things, but it all was always just a joke. And then one day, somewhere around 9:43, while I had a cup of coffee in my hand and was scrolling through my Instagram feed, I received a notification. \u201cNew WhatsApp message from Zoya\u201d I could not believe my eyes. How is this possible? Zoya Khan texted me? What happened to all the attitude and arrogance? She said she'll never look back, and now she texts me? I did not open the message for around 10 minutes. Kept it on hold, and then opened it. She\u2019d just sent a \u201cHey \u201d I thought about it for a while, should I reply? But then I thought that let\u2019s just see why she has to say after so many months. And then I replied her, \u201cHi \u201d \u201cHow are you? How\u2019s everything at home? Maa, papa, bhaiya, Bhabhi?\u201d Kaise ho tum? \u201d She asked all the questions in one single message. I wondered what happened, that suddenly she was so concerned about me and my family. \u201cEverything\u2019s good. You tell me, how\u2019s Ammi and bhai ?\u201d I asked as a formality. \u201cEveryone\u2019s good. \u201d She sent along with a smiling emoji. I didn\u2019t reply after that, because I couldn\u2019t understand what she wanted or why she'd returned. \u201cActually I wanted to say something to you .\u201d She texted me again. \u201cYa tell me?\u201d","\u201cWe ruined the one good friendship that we had because of love. I believe we were good as friends. There\u2019s no relationship purer than a friendship. Can we be friends again?\u201d Friendship? Why friendship? For whom? And for what? You have to be a good and trustworthy person to maintain a friendship, now she wants to be my friend? I felt a rage like never before after I read that message. All the 4 years flashed in front of my eyes, how she made me wait desperately for her friendship, for her love. How she treated me, and how she cheated me in the end. How could she even expect that I\u2019d be her friend now? Today, if I let her come back in my life, I will lose all my self respect. And how could I even forget the pain she\u2019s caused me? How did she crush my heart right in front of me and walked all over it? And not just once, many times in those 4 years. That message was in front of me, and she was online. She must\u2019ve thought that my love for her would make me weak and I\u2019d eventually accept her friendship. But no, I wasn\u2019t going to let that happen today. Today is the day that I decide to keep myself in front. Ahead of all the pain and ahead of all the love I have for her. I stretched my fingers, pressed my thumbs and typed,\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNO\u201d And sent it\u2026","A Note From The Author This was my story, and maybe some part of your story too. I could get myself out of all the pain and suffering from when Zoya left me. But, it is quite possible that you might still be stuck there, suffering from the pain of losing your loved one. But the only thing that can heal it is, time. You have to give yourself and the pains, the needed amount of time to recover, until then, do not take a step in the wrong direction. A step that will not only hurt you, but also your family members, your friends and your loved ones. You might\u2019ve lost the will to live because of all that happened, but this the time where you have to hold that will and those hopes tightly. But believe me, everything changes in the end, everything turns out to be the best. You just have to give it the time it needs. You will reach where you want, you will get what you want, you will be loved. Let your pain be your strength, learn the lessons it teaches you, learn to embrace that pain; because pain and healing go hand in hand. NEVER GIVE UP."]