Postpratum Depression

For Private Circulation Only Vol 7, Issue 3 • 24 Pages Postpartum Depression Featuring: The Postpartum Roller Coaster I Felt My Wife’s Pregnancy Pain.. Just Kidding! The Mystical World Of Books

080 28443433Email:

EDITORIALFrom the editor’s deskBeing a new mom is a joyful state like no other. It is the Mrs. Olive Nagraj, a counselor. In ‘A Deeper Shade of the Blues for a happiest time of your life….. Isn’t it? new mom’ they provide in-depth insight into postpartum depression and coping methods.In India, motherhood is always unquestioningly, painted this way.New mothers cannot be anything but full of smiles to the baby and Does having a baby lead to a rocky marriage or a rocking one?the many visitors. Emotional stress or anxiety are most often not Natasha Fernandez talks about her post-baby journey and how itdiscussed with the spouse or family due to the stigma attached to affected her marriage in, ‘Rock-a- bye Baby’.being anything but joyful after a baby is born. Do we fall easy prey to lies and fallacies and propoganda? Do weBaby blues or Post partum depression are viewed as contrary to the double check things before we circulate them? Is it true just becauseestablished notions of the self-sacri cing mother. As a result, even you heard it or read it on Whatsapp? Abraham Thomas gives us histhe mildest form of anxiety about pregnancy is a battle for the opinion in, ‘The Cost of a Lie’.mother. Most women may even be unaware that their anxiety has aname and requires medical attention. As electronic media has percolated into our lives, reading books has taken a backseat. This generation now associates books with justIn this issue, Family Mantra brings you stories of those who have learning. Latika Sakhuja shows us that there is a lot more that comesstruggled through various pregnancy related anxieties and how they from reading in ‘The mystical world of books’.coped through it. If you know anyone who will nd help in the content we publish,Elizabeth Alex shares with us about her ‘The Postpartum Roller please pass on a copy to that person. To gift a yearly subscription, logCoaster’ of two kids in two years. Frustrated, angry, mood swings; onto familymantra.com now.her relationship with her rst child was really suffering. Her road torecovery will truly encourage those in the same situation. Write to us at [email protected] for feedback or suggestions.A father’s emotions and anxieties during pregnancy areunfortunately not really given much importance. Aravind Pulickel Sarah Abrahamgives us a man’s perspective on how he dealt with their sudden Chief Editorpregnancy. ‘I Felt My Wife’s Pregnancy Pain..Just Kidding!’ will makeyou laugh and touch your heart at the same time.A premature birth can be extremely traumatic. In our feature article,‘In a hurry to get out’, Chitra Jayakaran talks about how the stress,bed rest, fear and premature birth of their second one was anexperience that really changed their lives.To gain a deeper understanding of pregnancy related anxieties, weinterviewed Dr. Jalaja Veronica, a Gynecologist/ Obstetrician and 1Volume 7 Issue 3

CONTENTS VOLUME 7 ISSUE 3 4 1 Editorial 7 4 Cover Story The Postpartum Roller Coaster2 National Counseling Helpline: 1860-425-6555 7 Feature I I Felt My Wife’s Pregnancy Pain… ...Just Kidding! 10 Interview Your Questions Answered: A Deeper Shade Of The Blues For A New Mom 13 Feature II In A Hurry To Get Out 16 Marriage Mantra Rock-a- Bye Baby: Is It Leading To A Rocky Marriage Or A Rocking One? 18 My Opinion The Cost Of A Lie 20 Health Matters Nutrition During Pregnancy 21 Parenting The Mystical World Of Books 23 Reflections Pregnant With A Purpose! Family Mantra is a subscription driven publication with a quarterly magazine and digital resources that address issues that impact your family.

CREDITS Published and Owned by We are online. Kutumb Communications 100s of articles written by real people with real Printed at stories and experienced counselors & therapists. Anand Graphic Links, Log ontoFeedbackBlessing Garden, Geddalahalli familymantra.com! Bangalore - 560077 3Volume 7 Issue 3 Published at Kutumb Communications, Shalom Springdale Layout, BBMP Sahayakandra Road, Kyalasanahalli, Shivaramkaranth Nagar Post, Bangalore 560077 Editor Ms. Sarah Abraham Patron & Advisor V. J. Lazarus Design Leena D’Almeida Editorial Team Sarah Abraham Chitra Ramaswamy Raichel S. Oommen Prabhan C M3S. Wpoonrksoartsyaonudr smuaprprioargte We gratefully acknowledge the support we have received from our sponsors. Your contributions have helped to take this magazine to people who need it most! Do you wish to sponsor free copies of Family Mantra? Your sponsorship has the potential to impact lives meaningfully. Contact us at: [email protected]

COVER STORYThe PostpartumRoller Coaster~ By Elizabeth AlexTwo kids in two years! Frustrated, angry, tired, bored, mood second c-section. She was a tiny little thingswings; I had all the signs/symptoms of postpartum and we breastfed immediately, within 45depression and…my relationship with my first child was minutes of the second c-section.really suffering. Once the baby comes, you don’t think of theWe conceived again within two together, be best friends! Honestly, I had such pregnancy you endured for so many never- months of my rstborn's rst a great rst pregnancy and rst-year mommy ending months! Sure, second and third birthday. Having a second child hood that we couldn't wait for the next baby pregnancies are a big deal too but what along with a toddler, I guess my body wasn’t for too long.   follows next, the postpartum months is even ready because I showed earlier than usual. bigger! People in the society noticed and worried for Turns out, those sympathetic aunties were me. That was so funny because the same folks right. My in-laws and my siblings were waiting for lavished smiles and praises at my rst us, but my 20-month old daughter seemed pregnancy. I often wondered why these Once the baby comes, you forget the anxious. I could see it on her face when she aunties thought the small age difference pregnancy you endured for so many saw us coming into the hospital room. Even between siblings was not a good idea. “never- ending” months! the big box of mega Legos wouldn’t cheer her up. I wondered about that moment - was it We wanted it this way, though. We wanted My second daughter Ezra came into this going to be that dreadful? them close together so they can grow world at 10 in the morning, after a planned I was optimistic though. We had planned and4 National Counseling Helpline: 1860-425-6555 prepared for this moment for so long! During

my second pregnancy, my toddler and I all. Even then, the next few months were a COVER STORYwatched animated TV shows about new nightmare for me. I gured it was postpartum breastfeeding, bed sharing, and babylittle siblings. We repeatedly read picture depression. I was barely eating, wearing? I felt like the worst mother, ever.storybooks about big sisters and brothers. breastfeeding, looking after two small My rstborn tried her best to come close. SheWe prepared for it all. humans and still freelance writing; no would ask for “moambo” (that’s the nickname maternity break or anything! she gave for breastmilk), hug me and climbedAnd yet, I never thought about planning and on my shoulders whenever I sat down topreparing myself for this new change! I started working from home within 10 days change baby Ezzy’s diaper… all her efforts to of my delivery. Coupled with depression, get my attention back red though because IAs my mother-in- law took Ezra for a diaper using my brain for crafting analytical writing was more irritated and angry with her forchange, Aria crept on my bed for a exhausted me beyond compare. I was so bothering me like that.restorative huggie. frustrated, angry, tired, bored, fed up with This was not what I wanted at all. mood swings. Up and down, up and down, Maybe it was nature telling me to focus onWe were breastfeeding throughout the and down I went to despair. the vulnerable baby instead of the grownsecond pregnancy also, so Aria wanted to toddler Or was it the postpartum depression?breastfeed as usual. Was I still her mama? I spoke in a sweet voice to the new baby in Maybe it was my mothering capacity or all of one second and snapped at my toddler in the the above. With hardly any sleep, houseBut she wasn’t the same Loopy I knew before next. I well became a monster mother. chores, freelance writing, and through-the-this surgery. Somehow, she grew up in a day week church meetings, I couldn't deal with itand she was now this big girl I didn’t even Feeling overwhelmed, feeling guilty, all anymore.recognize. couldn't understand what was happening; feeling irritated and angry, I spoke in a sweet voice to the newDischarged from the hospital in just two feeling nothing, feeling sadness, baby in one second and snapped atdays, I happily went home to start this new hopeless, not sleeping when the baby my toddler in the next. I well becamelife as a mama with two kids! Two kids! Two sleeps, afraid to call for help. I had ALL a monster mother. A mother’s lovekids in two years. these signs/symptoms of postpartum can falter. depression for nearly four months.My in-laws helped me that rst week at 5Volume 7 Issue 3home, and it was great to be looked after Loving and caring for the baby was almostand cared for so lovingly after a major like second nature. Taking care of the newsurgery and all. But after they left, I was baby did not worry me as much as loving mywholly unprepared for what came next. rstborn did. Now that had me runningWhat happened next to the young around in circles! Having this postpartummom of two kids! depression somehow got me feeling repulsive towards my rstborn.Praise God! The new baby Ezra was a goodsleeper, she slept for 5-6 hours straight after Mending the relationship with myevery feed and wasn't a demanding baby at rst child after my secondIt was postpartum depression. I I loved my rstborn. I cared for her basicwas barely eating, breastfeeding, needs but I somehow couldn’t nd that samelooking after two small humans attachment we shared before. My toddlerand still freelance writing; no was barely breastfeeding now. We didn’tmaternity break or anything! share a bed anymore and I didn’t carry her post delivery to avoid body aches. Wasn’t attachment parenting all about

COVERSTORY Only God can change people's shifted my focus to what I had from what I hearts if we asked him. “thought” I wanted. God, through Jesus, saidA mother’s love can falter. There’s so much to learn from children and { {\"Ask and it shall be given to you”Loving children is dif cult but God had a become better people. But I can't do it in mygreat design in mind when he created capacity. Only God can change people's and so I asked for help to get over this crazychildren. Children forgive so freely. No matter hearts if we asked him. hormonal depression and to mend myhow cruel I was to my rstborn the day relationship with my rstborn.before, she’d call me and want me the rst My supportive church members continued tothing in the morning and the last before care for me during this dif cult season of my After about four months, I went out onsleeping at night. She smiles at me and loves life. I took no medication for my postpartum regular walks in the park with my children.me like nothing ever happened. Little kids depression, what I did instead was to focus all The fresh air, enough sleep, eating well, anddon’t hold grudges and their love is my attention on God. Reading the Bible and working at a normal pace helped me get myunconditional. It’s no wonder Jesus says reminding myself about how much God has physical and mental strength back. What an done for me already and being grateful excellent reminder that God’s power is only \"Truly I tell you, unless you change made strong during your weakness! and become like little children, you{ {will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 18:3Mending relationship with the rst bornYou can say it’s something like working for a better marriage. Spending more time together, being kindand being there for her with full attention is what I worked on to mend my relationship with her. Hereare some of the things we did to keep our love alive and restore our bond.* Early morning cuddles.* Making breakfast together.* Random snuggle times during the day.* Play and laugh together at least once daily.* Looking at old photos and videos to reminisce those lovable days.* Exclusive time together; reading with her on my lap, while the baby plays at a distance.* When both children nap together and wake up together, I go to my toddler rst.* More eye contact by kneeling down and coming down to her level to talk with her. Elizabeth Alex is an entrepreneur and a freelance writer. Visit HONESTLIZ.com for more tips on parenting, marriage, curly hair care, and freelance writing.6 National Counseling Helpline: 1860-425-6555

FEATURE I I Felt My Wife’s Pregnancy Pain… ... Just Kidding! ~ By Aravind PulickelOur sudden pregnancy and taking care of an odd-looking It’s Just a Foetus, Right?infant was a blessing - but we did not understand that simpletruth for months. One of the rst thoughts was aborting while the foetus was in nascent stage. That optionLife Beats Probability! pregnancy. We chose contraceptive pills looked “practical”. I mean — we were not because the chances of failure were ready, we did not choose this. All we thoughtTowards the end of 2014, my wife missed her supposedly less than one percent. was that it’s not a human - it’s just a foetusmonthly periods. We were then just two right?months old in our marriage and Sheetal was Question 1on birth control pills. Why didn't anyone tell us It took a faithful friend to talk sense into our probability usually fails heads at the right time — life had beenOur married friends said they had never heard when it meets real life? conceived. It would take nine months for thatof a pregnancy when someone was using life form to come out of the womb. My wifecontraceptive pills. Just to be sure, Sheetal Question 2 and I realised we were just hiding behindtook a Urine Pregnancy Test. Like Hardik Why did I have to study medical jargon to continue our convenientPandya knocked Australian bowling recently, probability in school? lives — “abortion”, “foetus” and so on.the positive pregnancy test knocked thebreath out of both of us! We wanted to continue our plans at the expense of a human being, who surely was atI was then working a freelance job with our mercy, and who was indeed alive invarying pay; I could not even think of smaller-than- microscopic proportions.planning or paying for pregnancy costs. Like Hardik Pandya knockedSheetal had always wanted to adopt a child, Australian bowling recently, theand was not in the least ready for a positive pregnancy test knocked the breath out of both of us! 7Volume 7 Issue 3

FEATURE I Could we really choose to not have a The pregnancy period was also peppered with child when we already had one? periodic visits to our gynaecologist. We did I felt sick and deeply sel sh. We did not not have a big budget, and had heard about a choose our parents, family or background physical changes which are very hard for really good, experienced doctor who had (what do you really choose in life anyway?). women to take, but can’t be seen from the delivered couple of our friends’ children, all at Could we really choose to not have a child outside. So don’t make the deadly mistake I a low-costing clinic with basic facilities. when we already had one? did of taking Sheetal on a trek up Lohgad fort in her rst month. Her hands and feet swelled We settled with this tried and tested doctor. Like hapless elders dismally looking at the up uphill and we had to take a bus downhill. On one of our rst visits, the ultrasound cricket ball sailing out of the stadium, we said NOT a lovely surprise date. I am glad she did checkup was being done, and all of a sudden I goodbye to any hope of retaining our “just- not carry guns. could hear these unearthly loud beats, in a married” status. semi-rhythmic fashion. Those were the But really the point is - the rst three months magni ed heartbeats of the child within Sheetal would not accept the suddenness of might seem to many husbands like “Hey, Sheetal! The loud beats rooted me to the spot. the conception for months. I took some days there’s no big weight you’re carrying yet!” It made the child all the more real, and in that just to grapple with what all this meant. I did (Please don’t be smart and say that out loud). moment I believe a father was born inside of not even know how to get ready for the On the contrary, the rst trimester might be me. The heartbeats were nothing less than future! the most dif cult time for some wives until divine rhythms, and I would learn why in a they hit the labor room. few months. Four to ve months into Well anyway, I informed my father and my pregnancy, we watched a series of speeches close friends. My father was so supportive! I But I had to hand it to Sheetal. Not only did called “The Heritage”, produced by a church. was relieved to have him and my friends from she survive my surprise trekking date, she One of the messages taught us how to rightly church around Sheetal and me as we took this made very little fuss about the vomiting bouts view children - they are a heritage, an unknown journey. And - I had questions. and the diarrhoea. While she needed to rest in enormous blessing from God, and we realized the initial months, she took most of the that we had been wrong to view all of this as What will happen to Sheetal now? sickness and pain pretty well. For someone just a big task, a big responsibility. Yes, She is supposed to fall sick right? who did not look forward to having the baby, I children are all that - but they are so much She will vomit, right? am thankful she hardly complained or more! That one was answered soon enough. whined. Children: Trouble or Blessing? Vomits and a Surprise Date Momos, Gynaec Visits and Divine Rhythms It’s easy in today’s fast paced world to All of a sudden my wife began vomiting at consider anything that slows us down, an various times and places. There were times You have heard about pregnancy cravings? impediment and obstacle. I now wonder - is she did not make it to the bathroom in time, Yes they exist. that why old parents, infants, the sick and the and that meant - cleanup. Though I always poor cause us irritation and problems? They prefer working from an of ce space, I am kind And my wife was nice enough to have one all seem to be positioned across our lives, just of glad now that I was working at home main dish for her craving - momos! so we slow down and do what is right in each during her pregnancy. Without either parents of these relationships. living in our city, I can’t imagine how she The nearby Kedari circle had a momo stall Understanding children are a blessing from would have handled vomiting, diarrhoea and that I was happy to frequent with my wife. I God, changed Sheetal’s attitude in pregnancy. all the physical changes by herself. must say I capitalized on my wife’s pregnancy cravings by enjoying my share of momos too. The loud beats rooted me to the If you’re a new husband, you’re thinking, “Oh! spot. It made the child all the more physical change, I got it - you mean, the big Hey, I am transporting her - the driver gets real, and in that moment, I believe a belly right?”. snacks, right? father was born inside of me. No, my dear friend. There is NO big belly until the very end of pregnancy. The rst couple of months your wife is going through a lot of8 National Counseling Helpline: 1860-425-6555

She became thankful about the child, and I remember how Sheetal had decided not to FEATURE Ithat for me, was nothing less than a take any pain-relieving injections for hersupernatural change. normal delivery. I also remember how she of uid for roughly 270 days. I did not feel shrieked and begged our good doctor to give anything in particular, except that this time IPregnancy Education her the same injection. The doctor warmly had no one else to give this baby to, if I was smiled at her, and walked away - to our done holding him. He was mine.Yes, I too thought I was done with education combined horror.(Sorry, future-dads). My wife was quite self- Sheetal did not like the little guy much at theeducated about pregnancy. She would read, Sheetal was left crying and clenching my start either. She keeps reminding me how sheand push me to read “dad sections” from the hand in agony; (we would thank our doctor had to spend the rst few months with thispregnancy book we had got ourselves. Guys, only later. He was known to stick to normal little “stranger”, until she developed motherlyit’s good - get those books and some reading delivery unless some actual complication instincts and warmth many months later.done. Because we did a decent amount of came up). I sat there next to Sheetal, holdingtraveling, I remember frantically trying to hands and doing what was left to do - pray I learnt babies take time to acquire a morememorize how to prepare to receive the baby and sing hymns to Jesus, to ease her labour human colour and face structure. A few daysin the back of a car. pain. We did this until Sheetal was taken to a later, polite well-wishers were still trying to labour room. tell us who our son looked more like - mom orMy wife also helped me understand what dad. I could only see that his face oddlyneeds to be packed in the “hospital bag” - the She became thankful about the reminded me of our former President, Dr.bag you grab and run when your wife is child, and that for me, was nothing Pranab Mukherjee!headed nally to the hospital. less than a supernatural change. GratefulThe last few months really ran out like the I stood and watched with Sheetal’s mother, as nal grains going down in a sand clock. I another doctor pushed my son from Sheetal’s If you thought pregnancy was dif cult, wait womb into our world. Our baby was born till parenting looms over you! Don’t worryremember Sheetal’s friends throwing a baby healthy, and I nally held the tiny gure dads-to- be — one step at a time. With ashower (shower is just a name, it’s just a fun covered in clothes, in my arms. reliable doctor, family and helpful friends, youparty for the mother-to- be and her friends. should fare really well.You’re welcome!). It was also a ladies-only No, I was not overwhelmed with emotion andparty. Then, there were a couple of false tears. Today my son is two years old, and he’s analarms about the water breaking, Sheetal absolute delight to both of us (except whenhaving some sleepless nights over it. Then one Cute or not, that is the question! he is throwing a tantrum maybe!). Someday,day, it actually happened - her water actually God willing, he will be a man. To think I wouldbroke. My mind went into Hollywood “war- I was very aware I had to hold him carefully. have destroyed a man's life and future - justcry” mode! And I was wondering - wow, this guy looks because it was a sudden pregnancy! Instead, weird! in this boy we have a life-long relationship.Braveheart! Gimli and Legolas! Optimus We have a family. He entered this world justPrime! Charge!! You see, our child did not look cute to us like so many of us adults once did. initially - pale skin, oddly-shaped face,Two Became “Two plus One” probably because he had been soaked in a ball And even if this child does not turn into all that we plan him to be, he is noI remember our friends Anurag and Sonia inconvenience. I know he has entered into ourdriving Sheetal down to the hospital in their lives for good. He is family.car, and myself following them on ourscooter. Then I was next to her bed, and we Aravind Pulickel is a content writer by profession and is based inwere both holding hands. Sheetal’s mother Pune.and her childhood maid arrived in Pune a fewdays back, and were with us, helping us a lot. 9Volume 7 Issue 3

INTERVIEW Your Questions AnsweredA Deeper Shade of the Blues for a New mom The process of becoming a mother period is a fragile period for a woman in her Q3 generally marks a wonderful event that life. There will be some hormonal changes in a encompasses discovery, learning, and a woman’s body after childbirth. How long can the symptoms last? positive worthwhile experience. In this transformative experience, a new mother Add to that the sudden stress associated with Symptoms may last up to several months or encounters a wide range of feelings. looking after a little newborn, sleep even a year.  Happiness and excitement are usually at the disturbances, poor emotional support and the top of the list, but not always. Some women added nancial burden are common triggers Q4 for depression. nd the transition into motherhood de ned Is PPD a common problem in India? by an emotional roller coaster, physical Q2 exhaustion and relational frustration. It is quite common in Indian women. The What are some of the common prevalence ranges from 11 to 26.3%. Factors To gain a deeper understanding of this symptoms of PPD? like age, literacy status, socio economic condition, which still has a stigma attached status, sex of newborn, mode of delivery and to it in India, we asked Dr. Jalaja Veronica, a Feeling sad, anxious and tearful, no interest in unplanned pregnancy are signi cantly Gynecologist / Obstetrician and Mrs. Olive caring for self and the baby but overly worried associated with the prevalence of PPD. But Nagraj, a counsellor to shed some light on about baby, sleep disturbances, sleeplessness, awareness and support for new mothers is the topic. They provide in-depth insight into fatigue, poor coordination, feeling of guilt, still very less in many families. postpartum depression(PPD) and coping worthlessness, hopelessness, feelings of methods. hostility sometimes including thoughts of The severe forms are rare but in India PPD harming the baby, aggression, hallucinations, symptoms largely go undiagnosed or Q1 and suicidal tendencies. unattended. What is postpartum depression The early postpartum period is a crucial time Q5 (PPD)? to improve the health and survival of both the newborn and the mother. New mothers What are the \"Baby Blues\" or Po s t p a r t u m d e p r e s s i o n  ( P P D ) , a l s o whose physical and psychological health Postpartum Blues? called postnatal depression, is a type of mood needs are neglected develop a greater disorder associated with childbirth. Postnatal proneness to depressive symptoms. The baby blues describe a temporary change in mood that affects up to 70% to 80% of10 National Counseling Helpline: 1860-425-6555

new moms in the rst week or two i) “I started working from home within 10 INTERVIEWpostpartum. Many new moms feel days of my second delivery; compromisedhypersensitive, anxious, emotional, irritable, physical or emotional health slowly pushed Identifying the symptoms early byand may have dif culty sleeping or me into depression.” family members and seeking help canexperiencing elation. These symptoms tend to avert major depression.dissipate within several days and generally do ii) “My in-laws wanting me to take a backseatnot signi cantly interfere with functioning. If and let them raise my son. The rst two days Adequate emotional support andthe “baby blues” continue for longer than 14 after delivery, I did not even get to hold my consistent empathetic communicationdays, mothers may experience PPD. son except when feeding. I felt disregarded from husband are wonder medicines for and unwanted.” speedy recovery. Q6 iii) “When I went through PPD my husband Getting support from family or friendsWhat are some myths women have had a misconception that I was being in the day-to- day routine, even if onlyabout PPD? possessed by evil spirits and refused to take for a few hours, where the new mother me to a doctor to clarify my doubts.” can have some time out from theI)“ Having PPD makes me a bad mother. I demanding needs of a newborn anddon’t feel bonded or attached to my baby”. - Q8 sleep undisturbed, or eat, bathe andDe nitely not, as it is the hormonal changes relax.that causes these mood changes, which are Do moms with PPD have to takereversible if help is taken early and you can medication to be treated for Exercising (when permitted by theand will develop attachments to your baby. postpartum depression or anxiety?   doctor) and eating a healthy diet, drinking a lot of water.ii) “PPD will go away on its own”- That is a There are a variety of treatments for PPD,misconception as it may lead to chronic including psycho therapy, counselling and/or Having someone to talk todepression and disrupt the family life for a medication. Work with your doctor to identify con dentially.long time, if unattended. the best treatment options. Reach out for help. If you feel unable toiii) “PPD happens immediately after the child Taking any anti-depressant medication manage your thoughts, feelings, oris born”- No, it can start two weeks after child without the prescription of the specialist is behaviours with normal interventionbirth also and continue for six months to one harmful. Also, those who take medication and support of friends and family, seekyear. should not stop or reduce the dose without help from a trained professional. Avoid discussing it with the doctor. Doing that to procrastination.iv) “PPD is all my fault”. - Never, as it is yourself could do more harm than good.dependent on your support system too.  Low predictors of postpartum depression. Some people often fear that asking forlevels or inconsistent support and other help could potentially discredit theirpsychological stressors in family life have Q9 trust in God and expose what maybeen found to be strong wrongly be perceived as spiritual What are some tips to cope with immaturity or sinfulness. Please do not Q7 PPD? spiritualize this problem.Could you share some experiences Awareness is key: When a new mother is Women who suffer with PPD need toof women who have gone through angry and depressed, saying she doesn't want receive grace and love instead ofPPD? to hold her baby, instead of reacting with correction and hope instead of dismissal or anger, act wisely to nd the right judgment. God’s grace comes in manySome of the unattended silent cries of the solution. forms and sometimes it’s through theyoung mothers who experienced PPD means of professional counselling, medication, or lifestyle modi cations. 11Volume 7 Issue 3

INTERVIEW overwhelmed, struggling to manage the over-powering feelings on your own, x an Q10 appointment with a professional counsellor who can help you deal with your struggles.What advice do you have for ahusband on how to cope with his vii) Hope is the main ingredient of change.wife’s PPD? Never lose hope in the Almighty God with whom all things are possible.I) Educating yourself to understanddepression will help you identify your { {“Where there is no guidance thespouse’s depressive behaviours and patterns. I people fall, but in abundance ofencourage you not to educate your wife counselors there is victory.”about what she is going through. Proverbs 11:14 (Bible)ii) Taking care of yourself is very important asyou may have to take care of the baby, yourwife and also the house-hold responsibilities.These new and exhaustive responsibilities candestroy your joy and drain your energy,sending you on a downward spiral, resultingin physical fatigue and a sense of feelingpsychologically and emotionally \"drained\".Create a support system of good friends andfamily members to support you. iii) There may be a tendency of distancing Sources: My second one was in yourself from friends and family feeling such a hurry to get out. ashamed of what is happening in the family. https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn- The stress, bed rest, fear But, please do not allow yourself to stay about-therapy/issues/postpartum- and premature birth isolated from your support system of friends depression# Signs of Baby Blues was an experience that and family. www.goodtherapy.org really changed our lives. iv) Make an effort to remain connected with For Dads: What To Do, What Not To Do your wife though she may try to remain When Your Wife Has PPD | Psychology distant from you as she could be feeling Today www.psychologytoday.com ashamed, worthless and insecure. Gently encourage her positively with hopeful words. In the Valley of Postpartum Depression Encourage her to seek outside support and | CT Women | Christianity Today the needed professional help. www.christianitytoday.com v) Your spouse’s postpartum depression isn’t How The Myth Of 'Blissful a choice . It’s an illness. Depend on God’s Motherhood' Contributes To strength to love and support your wife Postpartum Depression unconditionally which will signi cantly www.huf ngtonpost.in contribute to her speedy recovery. vi) Importantly, if you are feeling12 National Counseling Helpline: 1860-425-6555

FEATURE II In a hurry to get out ~ By Chitra Ramaswamy JayakaranI had worked till the week of my rst child’s month I was teaching a week of sessions with working with were praying sincerely for a delivery and stopped only two days prior a group of teenagers. On the last day as I was miracle, which the doctor had told my hubby because my boss said ‘you better go home.’ getting ready to leave home, I realized I had was unlikely.We shifted house that week too. When the spotting (bleeding). I was worried but didn’tcontractions started, I had a hot bath and think it would be too much of a problem. The doctor said, “She is having aneven managed to sleep that night. Reached abortion”. My world collapsed.hospital early morning and in a few hours (Ok! Anyways went to the hospital. By then thethose few hours were terrible and I screamed bleeding had increased. The nurse who When I came out of the OT and regainedmy lungs out) my 3.76 kg baby was in our examined me said nothing to me, but she consciousness my spouse had news for me.arms. He was huge, healthy and feeding well called the doctor and said in my hearing ‘she When the doctor started the procedure, shein no time. is having an abortion’. My world collapsed. I saw that the sac was literally coming out but called my spouse who was outside and gave the sac had not broken, so she pushed it inNo Two Pregnancies Are Alike him the shocking news. and stitched the cervix (cervical cerclage or emergent cerclage). She said she had neverSo a few years later when I was pregnant with Miracle Of Emergent Cerclage done cerclage after the sac was out before, somy second one, I assumed I would cruise this we have to wait and see what happens.one easier than the rst as I was more The doctor gave instructions for me to beexperienced. So against popular advice, I used prepared for OT by the time she arrived. While Over the next few days of being monitored ina two-wheeler, went about life as usual I was in the OT, my family, friends and whole the hospital the baby seemed to be doingthrough the rst months. Around the fth community including all the kids I was well. The doctor said she would send me home 13Volume 7 Issue 3

FEATURE II Back at the Hospital only 1.5 kg. He was so small I was scared I only under the promise that I would be under would squash him. He was in an incubator complete bed rest with my leg elevated. My We managed a month and the baby was six and I could visit him, try feeding him, hold baby was in a hurry to come out and we had months in the womb. I started feeling may be him and then put him back. The NICU was to keep him in as long as possible. the doctor is exaggerating this whole bed rest always full of babies with multiple thing. I started to move around just a bit. One complications and the parents would wait We did not even have a cot at home (we slept day when we were expecting guests I slipped outside inde nitely not knowing what would on the oor). But by the time we got home, a out of bed and just settled a few things. It happen next. friend set up a bed at our home with the leg seemed all good. side lifted up. Thank God for friends. He was so small I was scared I would But next morning I was back in hospital with squash him. Bed Rest same problem- baby is in super hurry to come out, in spite of the stitches. Again into the OT Everyday after the rounds, the doctor would Thus started one of the most challenging and this time again doctor had to hem him in. meet the parents and update them. The wait periods of my life! For a person who cannot sit Doctor said emergent cerclage (stitching) to meet the doctor was very stressful and felt quietly for a minute and walks around even twice for the same baby is rst time too — like getting your board exam results. You while talking on phone, bed rest felt like life may or may not work. But then again prayers hoped for the best news but feared a bad sentence. were answered and he seemed to reconcile to report. The doctor that my son had was being in for few more weeks. amazing — always cheerful in the midst of But the fear of my lack of discipline causing emergencies, very supportive and harm to my baby made me stay in bed albeit Born but shifted to NICU encouraging, though she never gave any false grumpy. I was marking days on the calendar hopes. Dr. Archana you rock! hoping to have full term delivery sooo…oon. It was a very challenging time — fear, anxiety, frustration, hope, expectation and what not. But the doctors too did not know it all and It was very dif cult not to carry or play with Another month passed by very slowly. But by were trying many things they thought might my rst son who found it dif cult to the end of the seventh month, there he was help. It took them a long time to gure out comprehend what was happening. again impatient to get out. Back to the what the infection was and how to treat it. hospital! It was also a very challenging time for my Meanwhile everyday he was being fed spouse who had to do all the parenting, house We thought we will have another narrow through a feeding tube put through his nose work and care for me while trying to work on escape. But it was not to be. He came out and to the stomach, and punched every day for his PHD and regular work. He nally had to cried. He seemed to be ne. I thought now life drawing blood for umpteen tests to locate the give up his PHD as it was all too much. can go back to normal. What a shock I was in problems. He was a ghter. Friends, family for. and loved ones constantly upheld him in My baby was in a hurry to come out prayer, and he hung in there. and we had to keep him in as long as Even while I was in the labour room, they possible. shifted my son to the neo-natal ICU. I The worst part was coming in the morning expected he will be ne in a few days and and sometimes seeing a small bundle To top it all, I was very irritable and many then we can all go back home. But it was not wrapped in white cloth, scared to death if times unreasonable, trying to come to terms to be. It was a long battle he had to ght for that was your boy. If it was not yours, there with the sudden changes in my life. ‘What survival. was relief. But along with it was the grief and went wrong? When I had such an easy rst confusion of sharing the sorrow of another pregnancy why was this one so challenging? A month of uncertainty, tests, infections, parent whom you got to know over the weeks. antibiotics, endless cycles of extracting milk What if I lose the baby because of my and sterilizing containers! Added to this was my guilt of not being able carelessness?’ Thoughts drove me crazy as did to be a mother to my rst son who was with the bed rest punishment. He was too weak and small to suck. He was14 National Counseling Helpline: 1860-425-6555

his grandparents and wanting so much to started improving. After a month they sent FEATURE IIcome with us. him home to see how he copes. Love your loved ones while they areFear We brought him home, but I was still around. Celebrate them. so fearful of whether he wouldFear was my constant companion. I who had survive. Life throws a googly at us all the time and weprided myself that I could take whatever life need to be prepared to take whatever comesthrows at me suddenly found myself limp and Every time we had to feed him our way. Love your loved ones while they aretelling God he could not take my son away. (he was not yet sucking around. Celebrate them.For the rst time I realized what it was to be enough), I was scared hetotally helpless and not in control. would aspirate. It was a cycle Two, enjoy the moment. The only certainty we every two hours-extract milk, have is this moment. This moment with ourWe prayed and re ected on our life, feed, sterilize and then back to loved ones, with our dreams and our passions.relationships, priorities, and vision step 1. Live it to the fullest. You have your parents, We did not get much sleep at night spouse, kids today with you then; enjoy the because of this process. But we both time with them — love, laugh, live in the spent time together during that period moment. You have a dream, a passion then go praying and re ecting on our life, for it. Today is all we have to celebrate what relationships, priorities, and vision. What is it we have. we wanted from life? What mattered? My sons are now nine and seven. Both doing Life Lessons well by God’s grace! I am thankful for all I have - family, friends, meaningful and These experiences and re ections taught me ful lling work. two things. One, no point being afraid of losing a loved one. We have no guarantees in And while I have it I value it, enjoy it, and try life. to make most of it. That’s the lesson life taught me and I hope I never forget it. Chitra Ramaswamy is a professional social worker with over 15 years experience engaging with issues of justice, peace and sustainable living.I was a people helper and social worker by 100s of articles written by real people with realprofession and out there were so many stories and experienced counselors & therapists.mothers needing a listening ear,encouragement, support. But now I had Log on to familymantra.comalmost no energy to give anything to anyone.I was in my own whirlwind. 15Volume 7 Issue 3God’s amazing grace, prayers of loved onesand the skill of doctors all worked and my son

MARRIAGE MANTRA So, you’ve heard the story of the stork bringing the baby right? How I wishRock-a-bye Baby that were true, along with the stork staying and changing diapers, feeding,Is it leading to a rocky marriage burping and you know… the rest! or a rocking one? Raising a newborn is hard work right, but ~ By Natasha Fernandez before this becomes an article on babies, I’d better steer it back to marriage. This is all about managing your marriage relationship once a baby comes into the picture, and basically turns your world upside down (in a good way of course!). When my hubby and I had our baby, we had no help (meaning I did not go away to my mom’s place for 3 months, nor did she come over). It was ‘Hubby’, ‘Baby’ and ‘I’. Now you might understand my opening rant of this article. But, jokes aside, yes, it was super hard work, and we had to become Supermom and Superdad overnight. Were there stresses and strains and tensions? Yes! But what about stresses and strains and tensions in our marriage? One might think, it should have caused some tiny cracks, but strangely it didn’t! Could it be that somehow I have stumbled upon a perfect partner, or is it perfect principles, or is it the perfect God that we serve who’s kept things together? Is it all of it? I don’t know, nor am I trying to gloat about having a perfect marriage. What I am trying to do is to step aside and view our ‘post-baby’ journey from the outside and see what went right, so that I can share that insight with you. These are my ndings:16 National Counseling Helpline: 1860-425-6555

MARRIAGE MANTRA1. The Right View could get back to a proper work-life balance, as well as work-wife balance. So there you goWe all love a good view, right? The one – we were constantly stepping out to helpoverlooking the sea, or in the case of each other rather than stepping on eachBangalore we may have to settle for a lake. other’s toes.But what’s the view we have when we look atmarriage? How we perceive ‘marriage’ can 3. Patiencemake or break it. A time-tested virtue, that is hard butFor example, if your partner and you view de nitely worth it. We de nitely had toughmarriage in the traditional way, as the moments but we had to learn to be patienthusband being the bread-winner of the with each other since, we were both sleep-family and the wife being responsible for all deprived creatures (for a couple of monthsthings indoors (baby included), then, I think but felt like years!), we were learning so manybeing in a situation like mine, would have new things overnight, we were trying to takedriven the mother to insanity and the the best decisions for our baby, and the listmarriage would have surely suffered strains. goes on.2. Partnership 4. Prayer Now we’re way past that initial phase, our little one has crossed many milestones and isMarriage is meant to be a partnership, among No matter what, we prayed! Be it a two- the joy of our lives! The rocky mountains wemany other things. So yes it could just as well minute one liner (that would be my hubby) or climbed all seem a blur now, because now webe that as a partnership, your spouse and you a heartfelt lament/thanksgiving (that would see the beautiful view of the God-given giftdecide on one holding a job and the other be me) that would cease only with the start of called ‘Family!’handling all home affairs. That’s perfectly ne a bawling (and that would be the baby), we So wherever you are in your journey, Iwhen you are still viewing your marriage just prayed! encourage you to stand strong, keep striving,relationship as a partnership. there is a silver-lining for every cloud and Because we knew we couldn’t shoulder this when the cloud does move away, you mightSo when that ‘baby-situation’ does arise, you massive responsibility of another ‘life’ just see the stork too! :-)reassess your responsibilities and work without help from the Creator of that ‘life’.together to support one another as best you Natasha Fernandez is currently a stay-can. That’s what my hubby and I did. 5. Forgiving and Encouraging at- home mom of a toddler and a former Primary school teacher at anHe stayed with me in the hospital, somehow We had to remember to forgive! I’m not International School in Bangalore.juggled looking after baby and me, including talking about forgiving the other, butattempting to change the diaper of a just- forgiving ourselves! We were hardest on 17Volume 7 Issue 3born! ourselves when we made mistakes or took wrong decisions and we had to talk to eachWe hired a maid for the household chores, other saying ‘It’s okay, because we’re nothubby did all the grocery shopping, a bit of perfect, each baby is different, and God’s gotcooking and managed a hectic work schedule, our back!’while I learnt to cope with all the nuances of anew-born. Did this last forever? No. 6. No Blame-gameAfter a couple of months, when I could Play any game but never the blame-game (ohresume driving again, I took over all the yeah, avoid Bluewhale too). Thankfully weshopping, doctor visits etc., so that my hubby never struggled with this, because like I said in the previous point, we were always hardest on ourselves, but kind to each other.

MY OPINION THE COST OF A LIE ~ By Abraham Thomas Macro and micro are word pre xes in that dictate how we look at whole Dennis Prager, the popular Jewish American common use. Both imply size communities. Macro truths inform the talk show host and apologist says: measurements but in different choices we make such as the communities we directions, macro measures the very large and live in, the schools we send our children to. “Truth is the most important value. Because micro the small. lies built Auschwitz - without lies about Jews When the macro truths we believe are wrong, there could not have been the Holocaust, For example, macroeconomics is the study of whether either because we were are without lies about blacks there could not have economic issues that affect large people deliberately lied to or due to our own faulty been the slave trade. Lies are the root of evil groups like nations, while microeconomics analysis, we take poor decisions. more than any other sins. focuses on smaller groups like families and individual companies. Macro falsehoods sti e, demean People who believe lies do not know they are and destroy human relationships doing evil - that's why it is so terrible. You can Speaking about truth, is there a macro and and communities. enslave blacks because they are not really micro version of the truth? I am going to human, you can murder a Jew or gypsy introduce some terms to de ne how we relate Truth is vitally important. Falsifying truth, at because they are vermin and so on. All the to and understand people around us. Micro a macro level, has been a tool used with genocides are based on lies. The world rests on truths or our personal experiences de ne our disastrous consequences in the past. Macro truth.” relationships with the people we meet on a falsehoods sti e, demean and destroy human daily basis. Macro truths are generalizations relationships and communities. When people are sharply divided into tribes18 National Counseling Helpline: 1860-425-6555

on the basis of caste, religion, language or media, vocal social activists and strong MY OPINIONculture they are easy to manipulate. The opposition political parties to give voice tolatent tribal group instincts makes the group issues that threaten the progress and security When people are sharply dividedsusceptible to an “us” versus “them” of the country. In the run up to the elections, into tribes on the basis of caste,narrative. we will see attacks on all these pillars of religion, language or culture they democracy through televised debates and are easy to manipulate.Even a narrative lled with easily disproved social media.propaganda and conspiracy theories, is As individuals, we are the building blocks ofbelieved by a divided people if it appears to Often the attacks are Ad-Hominem (Latin for our democracy. All propaganda is targeted atserve the group’s self-interest. Embellish the “to the man”) fallacies or illogical arguments us - don’t fall easy prey to lies and fallacies.lie with half- truths, attractive catch phrases, that attack the character, motive, or other Double check things before you circulaterepeat it often, and the belief in it will attributes of the person raising the issues them. Doesn't matter if it is pro- or anti- thewithstand all logical challenges. rather than addressing the substance of the cause you believe in. Just because you heard issue itself. Fallacies are strategies to dodge it or read it on Whatsapp doesn't make it true.As individuals, we are the building inconvenient truths. Be suspicious. Be curious.blocks of our democracy. Allpropaganda is targeted at us - don’t Some of the common Ad-Hominem fallacies Abraham Thomas is a free-lancefall easy prey to lies and fallacies. are: software consultant based out of Ÿ Poisoning the well fallacy Bangalore.In India our natural diversity of language,religion and traditions makes us easy targets Abuse and discredit the arguers in 19Volume 7 Issue 3for polarization and division. The British advance so that you do not have toexploited it. All political parties in debate the issues they raise. Names likeindependent India exploit it. As we approach “Presstitute”, “Sickulars”, “Sanghis”,the threshold of a general election in 2019, nicknames and memes are the face ofwe will see more and more divisive this type of attack.propaganda. Ÿ “You too” fallacyAldous Huxley in his 1958 essay Brave New Accusing someone for not practicingWorld Revisited warns about non-rational what they preach or using the arguer’spropaganda that serves nobody’s self- hypocrisy to invalidate the argument. Allinterest, but is dictated by, and appeals to, political parties and religious groups arepassion. easy targets for this type of attack.Such propaganda avoids logical argument Ÿ Circumstantial fallacyand seeks to in uence its victims by the mere The circumstance or background of therepetition of catchwords, by the furious arguer is attacked pointing to a hiddendenunciation of foreign or domestic agenda that serves the arguers self-scapegoats and by cunningly associating the interest. Activists and media houses, onlowest passions with the highest ideals, so account of their funding or ownership,that atrocities come to be perpetrated in the are easy targets for this type of attack.name of God and as a matter of religiousprinciple and patriotic duty. Ÿ Bandwagon fallacy Belief that an argument is valid becauseA strong democracy needs free and fair mass a majority of people accept it. This argument is used to justify bad and otherwise indefensible policies.

HEALTH MATTERSNUTRITION DURING PREGNANCYThe growth of a tiny baby chapatis at least once a day, preferably at and milk by 4 pm and again have some fruitinside a mother's womb is dinner. Also eat fresh fruits and vegetables by 6pm.like the foundation of a daily as their supply of B and C vitamins helpbuilding. The diet of the iron absorption. Preventing and Controllingmother during the nine Heartburnmonths of pregnancy In the second half of pregnancy, the need fordirectly affects the founda- protein and calcium are markedly increased Ÿ During the last trimester when the foetustion of a new human life. and therefore I would recommend that is growing rapidly, the expanded uterus additional glasses of milk (total three may press against the stomach, causingYoung mothers-to- be must take great glasses) are consumed from the 4th or 5th contents to return to the esophagus; the care and get proper advice to make month. Milk is a rich source of protein and burning symptoms may be reduced sure your diet is healthy and nutritious calcium, which are essential for the somewhat with these anti- heartburnfor your baby. development of the tissues and bones of the tips. baby growing inside the womb. Ÿ Food intake should be divided into four to As new cells, tissues and bones are being Preventing and Controlling Nausea six small meals, which are eaten slowly in formed all the time, the most important and Vomiting a relaxed environment. nutrients that must be supplied and that are required in excess are protein, vitamins Nausea and vomiting are mainly caused by Ÿ Spicy, high fat, and rich foods, as well as (Specially B vitamins) and minerals the changes in the hormones produced caffeine, alcohol, and individually (especially calcium and iron). during pregnancy. For some it is more severe bothersome items, are to be avoided. than for others. It is aggravated by times of In the second half of pregnancy, the emptiness in the stomach. Ÿ Food intake just prior to bed or naptime need for protein and calcium are can cause symptoms. Antacids should markedly increased. As the baby grows your food requirements only be taken if prescribed by the increase and if this need is not met by regular attending physician. Milk/Curds is one of the most important meals and regular timings of meals, acids foods to be consumed as it is a rich source of build up in the stomach and you feel Lisa Sarah John is a Diet Counsellor protein, vitamin A, B, D and Calcium. Those nauseated. For some, this is felt strongly and Nutritionist. She is a full-time who eat egg may eat one egg daily during early in the morning and we advise you to try Consultant; presently working with pregnancy. Chicken and sh too may be and eat a couple of biscuits or a small banana diet and diet-related health problems eaten in small quantities and preferably at even before you get out of bed. Otherwise by and has counseled thousands on lunch, as they may be dif cult to digest. the time you start brushing your teeth you living a healthy lifestyle. Restrict mutton, beef, etc. as they are too may vomit. fatty. For a good iron intake, never skip a meal. Try to ensure dhal intake at lunch and For some this happens around 6pm if they dinner and make sure you eat whole- wheat have not eaten anything since lunchtime. Please make sure that you eat some biscuits20 National Counseling Helpline: 1860-425-6555

PARENTING The mystical world of BOOKS ~ By Latika SakhujaOur sudden pregnancy and taking care of an odd-looking someone can nd time to read. It all stemsinfant was a blessing - but we did not understand that simple down to a need and desire that existed waytruth for months. before the other mundane tasks of growing up and being adults seeped in.Once upon a time… realm of imagination as they trapeze through Why is reading important? a world that exists beyond our dailyFor some of us, these words are the steps to a fathomable existence. There are numerous bene ts of reading.wonderful world of mystical situations, Beyond a glimpse into a parallel world, it ismagical places, new experiences and It is fascinating how people who enjoy often an escape from reality and animaginary characters… reading can pretty much nd the time and opportunity to unwind. It helps to calm the space to indulge themselves, no matter where mind, de-stress and break free from the dailyFor others, these are just mere words and they are. While there are others who struggle struggles that most of us deal with.there isn't much beyond them. For the lucky to get through the day, wondering howones who feel the magic in the words and For the younger generation, reading createscan't wait to know what lies beyond, books awareness of language, provides an exposureand reading, hold a charm that little else does.All they need is a new book or a pre-read It is fascinating how people who enjoy reading can pretty much nd thefavorite to alleviate reality and move to the time and space to indulge themselves, no matter where they are. 21Volume 7 Issue 3

PARENTING often complain that their child doesn't read. interest as long as it's a habit associated with pleasure. And when children see their parentsReading creates awareness of Creating a lifelong habit pick up a book instead of a phone forlanguage, provides an exposure to entertainment, they would do the same.new words and helps to create the The disinterest to read largely stems from thestepping stones for language lack of exposure to books at an early age. Nurturing the lovedevelopment. Reading as a habit should be encouraged from the time that your child is born. Now, as parents, once we have worked onto new words and helps to create the stepping developing the habit and we have a child whostones for language development. It also A lot of us would argue and say that a child is interested in reading and can read on his/teaches children to concentrate and focus for doesn't understand language at that point. her own, it is important to take a step backlonger periods of time.   That being said, reading goes way beyond just and let them pick what they like to read. understanding language. At an early stage, itBesides the language-related bene ts, creates a nurturing environment that in later As children grow older, they startreading enhances creativity and also helps in stages is also associated with comfort and associating books with relaxationdeveloping better communication skills. warmth. As children grow older, they start and entertainment, in the long run,Numerous studies have also linked reading to associating books with relaxation and books are a powerhouse ofbetter performance in an academic entertainment, in the long run, books are a knowledge and informationenvironment. powerhouse of knowledge and information. They create an interest in learning that They might not pick up the most advancedReading helps children to develop books in terms of literature or the mostemotionally as well. Imagination is at its peak Forcing them, to read what we like informative books, as long as they are readingwhen we are younger. As children are exposed might actually have a counter age appropriate books, we need to let themto different situations and characters effect. So step back, and let your be. Forcing them, to read what we like mightthrough books, they develop empathy and child take a pick! actually have a counter effect. So step back,learn skills required to deal with a lot of and let your child take a pick! Chances are, asthings that life throws at them as they grow cannot be developed simply through text they grow older, they will eventually evolve toolder. Also, they learn negotiation skills while books. Hence if a child is exposed to books read, what you want them to read.dealing with different situations and can from the very beginning, the chances thatthink beyond what is available on the surface. they would enjoy reading as they grow older To encourage the habit, it is also important to are much higher. Also, the exposure to words create a community that evolves around it.The case for raising a reader is very strong but creates the basis for vocabulary development. Try starting a book club in the neighborhoodinspite of the well-researched bene ts of or join a library that children can visit. Meetreading, creating readers sometimes seems Children ape what they see. So if you live in a authors and attend book readings wheneverlike a daunting task. In the current world that house where they are exposed to adults who you get the opportunity.is dominated by the electronic media, read for pleasure, the chances that theyentertainment is easily available and we exist themselves pick up a book are much higher. Creating an eco system where books arein a time of instant grati cation. The easiest Reading isn't limited to merely ction, you easily available and happily discussed wouldway of entertaining a child in any scenario is could read anything from cook books to ensure that you are creating a foundation forhanding them a handheld device or a phone magazines and journals, whatever holds your a life long habit that your children wouldthat would keep them distracted and de nitely thank you for!occupied. With increasing concerns about screen time Latika Sakhuja, an avid reader, is a journalist turned children’s and the developmental gap, parents are now storyteller. She enjoys spending time with her own children and trying to retrace their steps and encourage aspires to make parenting fun. reading. Yet, in spite of trying their best, they22 National Counseling Helpline: 1860-425-6555

REFLECTIONS Pregnant with a Purpose! ~ By Prabhan C MWith the three miscarriages that my wife suffered, we lost three lives before they were given to us.We as a family experienced that life cannotbe brought into existence by our merecalculated attempt or human will, but it’s thegiver of life who gives life and also sustainsthe same.When we see our three boys now growinginto young men, we know their lives werepreserved and their life has meaning andpurpose beyond just some cosmic accident.I see every pregnancy as sacred and the childthat God is adding into a family a gift fromabove from the very conception.It is true that all who go through the processof childbirth have different experiencesduring pregnancy, which is so well narratedby many of the contributors in this issue. Yetseeing every experience of pregnancy and 23Volume 7 Issue 3

REFLECTIONS generations. So pregnancy is not about adding one more human being into thischildbirth as partnering with God to co- world, but it’s about having a generationcreate and raise up a Godly generation can that is going to live and care for eachgive pregnancy a whole new purpose. These other and for the creator’s greaterkind of higher perspectives will help us rejoice purpose.in the whole process and will enable us to gothrough this tough phase with a great sense Pregnancy, childbirth and parentingof accomplishment towards a greater goal. are lled with hopes and challenges. There are many dark tunnels, valleysI see every pregnancy as sacred and and rivers we may have to cross whenthe child as a gift from above from we feel lost or clueless about why andthe very conception. how life happens.As I write this, I’m in Guayaquil in Ecuador Our journeys are unique to us but we canand it’s not very far from the island of take courage from other experiences andGalapagos, where Darwin did some of his hope from the fact that we are not alone.study on evolution.The mystery that surrounds human life and It’s about having a generation thatthe search of human beings across history for is going to live and care for eacha higher power and his ever growing other and for the creator’s greaterintelligence are uniquely beyond any other purpose.animal species.The Bible narrates in the story of creation that If we let God, he can be our friend in thisit was only humans who were created in the journey, standing with us, guiding us andimage of God through God’s life giving Spirit holding us so that whether in the dark tunnelthat He breathed into man’s nostrils. No or in the warm sunshine, we press on to giveanimal can be compared to this mysterious our children and this world a hope and ahuman creation! future.The mystery of human life continues to baf e Let’s aspire to be moms and dads who seeus and every human pregnancy is an parenting as a unique opportunity to blessexperience that shows the value of every this world with a better tomorrow!child. The nine-month process that is neededto have a healthy baby is the time factor thatestablishes a deep connection betweenmother and child. The mother reptiles that lay eggs leave their Dr. Prabhan C M, is the President of Kutumb Communications. young ones to fend for themselves, but for He, along with his wife, is actively involved in counseling and human beings, the care that the child gets is leading seminars and conferences on family and marriage. so intense and continues after the child is born. We live and care for at least three24 National Counseling Helpline: 1860-425-6555