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eeanadu 13 NOV 2017 dvr clg lo madhu to make gains. The largest percent- ity controls are holding back the de- ane abbi guranchi agege increase in moose will likely velopment of the eastern european come from China’’, says McRobson, populations compared to last year talk The Chinese government has invested when they contributed significantly heavily in moose infrastructure over to europe’s strong growth figures. By SUSANKH the past decade, and their committ- Norway, which is not an EU member ment to macrofauna is beginning to but has observer status, strengthed madhu ane oka vakthi guranchi pay dividends’’. Since 2004 China has in numbers relative to the Euro area clg lo lolli expanded moose pasture from 1.5% with numbers of Norweigian moose, of arable land to nearly 3.648% and known locally as elk’’ expected to rise Reuters moose numbers are expected to rise for the tenth consecutive year, partic- to 60,000 making China a net moose ularly thanks to a strong showing in International exporter for the first time. This is the last quarter. Moose Count good news for neighbouring Mongo- lia, a barren moose-wasteland whose As moose season reaches its close, Underway inhabitents nonetheless have an insa- researchers world wide are turning to tiable desire for the creatures. The in- science in an attempt to boost next By BOB O’BOBSTON crease in Beijing-Ulanbataar trade is year’s figures. NASA stunned the anticipated to relieve pressure on the scientific community today with the The UN-sponsored International relatively strained Russian suppliers, announcment of their discovery that Moose Census got off to a flying but increase Mongolia’s imbalance of the moon is significantly smaller than start today with hopes for an increase trade with its larger neighbour. previously believed. This conclusion, in the worldwide moose population which is the conclusion of a ten- compared to last year’s disapointing Historically the only competitor year collaborative project, will have figures. Among the traditional early to China in the far eastern moose profound implications for the moose reporters were Egypt, returning fig- markets has been Singapore but the community as the gravitational field ures of six moose, a twenty percent tiny island nation is set to report a is now known to be of the right increase on 2011’s figures of five, and net loss, expecting a decrease of more strength to support moose in orbit. Uruguay whose moose population re- than five percent on last year’s 50,000 mains stable at eleven. moose counted. The head of Singa- According to John Johnson, head pore’s Agency for Agriculture, Jing- of the NASA Moon Sizing Experi- According to Robbie McRobson, Feng Lau, explained to an incredu- ment the first delivery of moose into head of the UN Moose Preserva- lous Singaporean parliament yester- low moon orbit could be achieved as tion Council, worldwide moose num- day that bad weather had contributed early as the third quarter of next year. bers are expected to grow markedly to this season’s poor showing, most The technology to nurture moose in on last year due to the traditional notably when a cargo of 150 moose space is available now’’, he said, ’’all moose strongholds of Canada and the were swept out into the Indian ocean that is needed is political will’’. United States, with the larger de- in a monsoon. veloping moose ecologies also poised Granny wins Yet again the global demand for moose will be met largely by the World Wrestling US and Canada. The recession-hit States is taking comfort in its moose Championship growth figures with gross production expected to break 700,000 and net ex- By ROY MCROYSTON ports to grow by 2%. The worldwide dominance of Canada shows no signs Records were smashed in of abating though with this year’s Nicaragua’s World Wrestling Cham- moose population expected to match pionship last night as 78-year-old last year’s record figures of one hun- Maud Johnson, grandmother of five, dred million billion. became the first woman for fifty-six years, and the oldest competitor ever, Europe’s rise as an international to claim the gold medal. She walked moose power will slow slightly this away with her million dollar share of year as a response to the European Union’s move towards standardising the European moose. Stringent qual-

eeanadu 13 NOV 2017 2 the prize money, runner up Tommy time Lutti’s body language indicated The new champion explained her Thompson from Nigeria taking half a that he already felt overawed by the success as the result of a strict train- million, and third place New Zealan- pretender to his crown, and the new- ing regimen instituted by her coach der John Smith receiving a warm comer took advantage of this to en- and grandson five-year-old Sammy handshake from the umpire. gage a mutual headlock which she Johnson. \"I’ve been drinking ten held for three hours until the Vat- raw eggs for breakfast every morning, Having started the tournament a ican man retired from exhaustion. sprinting fifty miles a day and carry- rank outsider she began to impress The next seven matches were barely ing my daughter’s car to the end of in her second match when she took a contest as the news of Johnson’s the road and back whenever I felt my US number three Ron Ronson by sur- supremacy overawed all her oppo- arthritis was OK\" she said. Sammy prise and subdued him in twenty sec- nents who became too indimidated to added \"I always knew she could do onds with her unique move that has fight properly. it. She’s my grandma.\". The young- been dubbed \"Maud’s Death Grip\". ster is also her manager and has re- The injection of a new wrestling style Nigerian Tommy Thompson is portedly arranged sponsorship deals into the tournament was welcomed also a relative newcomer to the which will dwarf her one million dol- by spectators and Johnson’s pre- and wrestling scene, but with his 210lb lar prize fund. Her new contract with post-match breakdances have proved frame he was expected to fare well headband designer Nike alone is set entertaining to fans. However, she against Johnson who weighs in at to earn her fourteen billion dollars was still not expected to win in only 90lb. However Johnson’s lithe over the next year. She will also be round three last Wednesday, facing and slender, some would say scrawny, promoting Tupperware, Halliburton, off against title-holder Paulo \"Spine- figure belies her agility and strength the Republic of Macedonia, and Gala Snapper\" Lutti, of Vatican City. Un- which she demonstrated by holding Bingo. Her continued participation in derdog Johnson was soon showing her Thompson above her head several the sport is not assured as she wants worth with stamina and agility easily times during the bout and throwing to spend more time on her bungee- matching last year’s winner. Lutti’s him into the crowd once. With the jumping business, and knitting. Ev- experience paid off initially as he took scores tied at 2-2 time ran out and the eryone here at the World Champi- the first two rounds, but as John- contest went to a panel of judges to be onships, however, hopes for her re- son became more confident her su- assessed. They awarded Thompson a turn. perior strength came to the fore and C grade whilst Johnson received an she clawed back two rounds to take A, becoming the first grandmother to the contest into a decider. By this ever win the title.