Reading Joke

Read Joke By Teacher Graivich Phonboon

Joke 1 Two sisters were going on vacation in July but the older sister was on a business trip so she went to the destination first and her younger sister would meet he the next day. When the older sister reached her hotel, she decided to send her younger sister a quick email. Unfortunately, she mistyped the address and her message was directed instead to an elderly lady whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint. At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen: Hello Dear, Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P.S. It sure, is hot down there.

1. Which event happened first in the story? A. The elderly lady fainted. B. The older sister arrived at the hotel. C. The elderly lady received the email. D. The older sister went on a business trip. 2. What did the elderly lady do that made her family rush to the room? A. She called for help. B. She screamed loudly. C. She fell to the floor. D. She saw the message in the mail. 3. What can be inferred from the story? A. The older sister went to a hot location. B. The older sister knew the elderly lady well. C. The younger sister never arrived at the hotel. D. The dead husband arranged for his wife’s death.

Joke 2 A man is driving along a road. He sees a sign in front of a house: Talking Dog For Sale. He rings the bell and the owner shows him the dog in the backyard. “You talk?” he asks. “Yes,” the dog replies. “So, what’s your story?” the man asked. The dog looks up and says, “Well, I worked as a spy for the CIA for many years. I also worked at the airport checking passengers for drugs. I am married with three puppies now.” The man is amazed. He goes back in the house and asks the owner what he wants for the dog. “Ten dollars,” the owner says. “Ten dollars? This dog is amazing. Why are you selling him so cheaply?” “Because he’s a big liar. He never did any of the things he told you.”

4. Which event happened first in the story? A. The man saw a sign. B. The man talked to the dog. C. The owner took the man to the backyard. D. The dog told the man he worked for the CIA. 5. Why did the owner of the dog want to sell the dog? A. The dog was a liar. B. He needed some money. C. He preferred a quiet life. D. The dog caused him a lot of trouble. 6. According to the story, which of the following statement is TRUE? A. The dog could not talk. B. The dog was 10 years old. C. The price of the dog was ten dollars. D. The owner of the dog felt sorry for the man.

Joke 3 Last week, Vicky, a distressed wife, went to the local police station in Wigan, Lancashire, along with her next-door neighbor, Pauline, to report that her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a description of the missing man. Vicky described him clearly and in detail, “He is 35 years old, 6 feet 4 inches, has dark eyes, dark wavy hair, and athletic build, weights 185 ponds, is softly- spoken and is fabulous with the children”. Pauline interrupts her protesting, “Why Vicky, your husband is 5 feet 8 inches, overweight, bald, has a big mouth, and is horrid to your children.” Vicky replied, with a sigh, “Yes, but who wants HIM back?”

7. Which event happened first based on the story? A. Vicky’s husband disappeared. B. Pauline described the policeman’s question. C. Vicky answered the policeman’s question. D. Vicky and Pauline went to the police station 8. Which of the following statement is TRUE? A. Pauline is an honest woman. B. Vicky’s husband is an attractive man. C. The police knows Vicky and her husband well. D. Vicky is accurate in describing her husband’s appearance.

9. What did Vicky mean when she said, “Yes, but who wants HIM back?” A. She didn’t really want her own husband. B. She wanted to know if anybody wanted her husband back. C. She intended to ask Pauline if she wanted to take her husband. D. She really wanted to know if anybody could help her husband.

Joke 4 An accountant answered an advertisement for a job with a large company. At the end of the interview, the chairman said, \"One last question- what is three times seven?\" The accountant thought for a minute and replied, \"Twenty-two.\" Outside he took his calculator and realized that he should have said twenty- one. He concluded that he had lost the job. Two weeks later, however, he was offered the post. After a few weeks, he asked the chairman why he had been chosen when he had given the wrong answer. \"You were the closest,\" the chairman replied.

10. Why did the accountant think he wouldn't get the job? A. Because he gave the wrong answer. B. Because he didn't use his calculator. C. Because he lost contact with the chairman. D. Because the chairman asked him the wrong question. 11. Why did he get the job? A. He was the closest friend of the manager. B. He was the closest friend of the chairman. C. The other candidates were worse than him. D. He admitted that he gave the wrong answer. 12. Why is this joke funny? A. The chairman was too generous. B. An accountant could do simple multiplication easily. C. This accountant was the only candidate for the job. D. A large company offered a job to an incompetent person.

KEY Joke 1 : 1. D 2. B 3. C Joke 2 : 4. A 5. A 6. B Joke 3 : 7. D 8. A 9. A Joke 4 : 10. A 11. C 12. B

Reference ONET - Test Mathayom 3 Academic year 2018 ONET - Test Mathayom 3 Academic year 2019 ONET - Test Mathayom 3 Academic year 2020 ONET - Test Mathayom 3 Academic year 2021