FLAME Seasons

some were sitting on the lawns in the park. We were just silently walking until Amber spoke. “Have you seen Blaze? I heard he’s coming home this autumn.” I guess I wasn’t expecting her to ask that so I almost choked. Gladly, I was able to hold back, or else I might burst. “Of course not! I have not seen him since that autumn of 2010.” I said, and she nodded. She looked sad. I don’t know why, but I sounded so defensive. We stopped by and sat on one of the benches in the park. I sat beside her, and when I looked at her, she was just staring ahead. I can’t help but reminisce about moments from our childhood. We both have a lot of memories here in this park, especially on that one autumn day ten years ago. That particular day... Amber and I have always wanted to go to the park. This is our favorite place. We always waited for summer to come because it’s the time when we got to go to the park and play with other children. I was ten, and Amber was eleven. We loved sharing toys, we loved the same games, and we loved playing together with our friends. We almost have the same circle of friends, but there is this one friend of Amber whom I always hated, who is also Amber’s best friend. Blaze. We were just happy playing with our dolls in the park while sitting on the grass when someone hit my head with a ball. Amber immediately rushed beside me to check if I was alright. It was painful, of course, but I didn’t want her to get worried, so I lied and said I was fine. I tried to check who hit my head with a ball. I knew it was intentional because when 101

I saw who it was, he was grinning and laughing. He always liked pulling pranks on me because he knew that I was ill-tempered and irritable. If only he wasn’t Amber’s best friend, I would’ve hit his head a long time ago, too. I looked at him once again and I rolled my eyes. I just hope I can tell Amber. “Are you okay, Sienna? Do you want to go to the clinic? Oh my god, who hit her head with a ball?” She was panicking and shouting at the same time. I can see that she’s really worried and angry with the one who hit my head with a ball. If only she knew… “Yes, Amber. I promise I’m fine. Let’s just continue playing.” I smiled and reassured her by saying I was fine, but she was still skeptical about it. However, when I sat again on the grass, she also sat beside me, and we continued playing as if nothing had happened. Blaze, on the other hand, was hiding behind a tree, and I glared at him. I hate him! “Amber, how did you become friends with Blaze? I hate him. He’s so arrogant and rude. I don’t like him as your best friend.” I suddenly told Amber, and she seemed shocked on hearing what I had just said. I bit my lower lip as I was surprised, too, by what I’d just said. Like, seriously? “Well… He’s not that arrogant and rude, he’s nice and sweet. It’s just that he loves to play around.” Amber said, and all I can think about is the opposite. Blaze is not nice and sweet. He’s the opposite of all those positive characteristics that one could enumerate. “Oh, hey Blaze. You’re here too?” I was in the middle of my thoughts when Amber suddenly spoke. I am flabbergasted by him. The nerve he has to show his face knowing he intentionally hit my head with a ball, and now he’s acting like he’s kind and as if he 102

did nothing bad. Just wow. I looked behind me and he was just standing. He shifted his gaze from Amber to me. He smiled. “Hi Amber, hello Sienna!” He said as he sat beside Amber. He smiled. I looked at both of them. They have a lot of similarities. They fit well with each other. I looked at Amber and she was just laughing because of whatever Blaze had just whispered to her. Blaze also looked happy. I hate Blaze, but because Amber likes him, I had to act like I was not bothered by him. Amber would always talk about him when we were eating, playing, or even before we went to bed. I hate him because ever since Amber met him, we have had less time to play and be with each other. I started to feel out of place. When I finally decided to just go grab some ice cream, I was about to stand up when Blaze suddenly spoke. “Where are you going?” I rolled my eyes out of annoyance. After throwing a ball on my head, he became like this. Why would he ask? Does he even care? I just pretended that I didn’t hear him. I stood up and decided to go without looking back. I ordered a vanilla ice cream with sprinkles in it. I was about to pay for the ice cream when someone beside me gave coins to the vendor. Will this day get worse? “I’ll pay for it.” The person with a familiar voice beside me spoke. I was confused and shocked at the same time. Why is he here? To my surprise, the obnoxious Blaze is standing next to me. “What prank are you trying to pull again? Are you going to throw out my ice cream? Are you going to push me so I fall down on the ground and put the ice cream straight in my face? Or are you going to embarrass me in front of other children 103

here—” I was hysterically yelling in his face like a kid throwing a tantrum. “I’m sorry.” He spoke as he was looking down. I was surprised. I don’t exactly know if this is really happening or if this is just one of his pranks again. After all his pranks and games, it’s the first time I heard him apologize. I wasn’t sure what to do. I just looked at him. “I will stop pulling pranks on you now.” He added, and that’s when I knew he was serious. I don’t know if I should be happy or sad. I don’t know what to feel. If there is one thing that I am sure about, it’s that I felt my heart skip a beat just now. “Is this another one of your pathetic pranks? If it is, then stay away from me because I won’t fall for it.” I said, but when he lifted his gaze at me, I saw how his eyes were sincere yet it had a hint of sadness too. Why is he like this? Can’t he just go back to being the annoying Blaze that I used to know? “I’m sorry, Sienna. I hope you’ll forgive me. To tell you the truth…” He added. I became more irritated and confused. What truth is he talking about now? “What truth? That you’re just pranking me again?” “No, the truth about all these. The real reason why I always pull a prank on you.” “What do you mean, the real reason? What are you talking about?” “I only did it because I wanted to be close to you.” My lips parted, unable to digest what he just said. 104

He looked down, and I could almost feel how flustered he was and how he had been holding it back for a long time. He was both relieved and embarrassed. And me? I’m just purely shocked by all he said. I wanted to hate him, but some part of me believed what he just said. We were both silent for a few minutes until he decided to speak again. “Amber is my best friend, but I want to be close to you. I’d like to be your friend, but I know you hate me, so I didn’t know how to get your attention. I just thought of pulling pranks on you. In that way, you’ll notice me even though you hate me. I’m sorry.” He said. “But now, I think I’ll have to stop since we are soon moving to my grandmother’s place, which is on the other side of the country. By the way, sorry for the ball. Did it hurt?” I didn’t know how to take in all that he had just said. I stayed silent and stared at him. Is this real? He’s leaving soon? “Does Amber know that you’re going to leave soon?” I asked, and he shook his head. “You’re the first person I’ve talked to about this. I will tell her soon. I just really want to say sorry and I hope you understand. I hope you won’t hate me anymore and maybe someday we will get to be closer to each other. Thank you, Sienna.” He said. A few moments later, he walked away, probably going back to where Amber was. I still can’t believe everything that just happened. And just like that, my hatred towards him went away. Since then, I have always kept all that he said that day. I never told anyone about it, not even my sister. I wanted to keep it all between Blaze and me. Through the years, I realized what he was trying to do before. 105

As a child, I never really understood it well. All I thought was that he wanted to be friends with me. He always pulled pranks on me. He knows me well. He knows how to get my attention. Knowing his reasons, I started to realize the truth he was talking about on that day. I was only snapped back to reality when Amber suddenly spoke. “Blaze…” I looked at the person in front of us right now. I tried so hard to hide and act normal. After ten years, he sure changed a lot. He looked more mature now. He is wearing a gray shirt, a cardigan sweater, denim jeans, and black combat boots. He looked so different, but it’s good. “I missed you so much!” Amber immediately stood up and hugged him. He hugged Amber back, but his eyes were looking straight at mine. Memories from that day were slowly flashing back in my mind. I tried to put them away, but I couldn’t. I smiled at him and looked away. It is evident how happy my sister is to see him again. I am also really happy for her. After ten years, nothing changed between them. They still look so good together. They fit well with each other. I looked at them once again and decided to get up from my bench. Blaze was still looking at me, but I did not hesitate to walk away. Just like how the leaves started to fall from the trees around me, tears started to fall from my eyes. The season has changed, but these feelings I’ve been keeping remain the same. At least I get to see him again, right? 106

Artwork by Russel Joy L. Pascua 107

108 Artwork by Varon Bandal

The Interludes of Life by Kclaire Calendar on my right Clock on my left Staring at these two Hoping waiting will come to an end. I am anxious about how thing will turn up to My mind and heart are growing tired of this I am not hopeless, don’t worry, I am just helpless, and it’s not easy. Who would have thought that this would happen? Just a few steps away Then I took a detour along the way It’s not okay, but will have to accept it Praying so hard, asking why me? Then I realize you have a better plan for me I’ll just patiently wait if that’s what you want Just take care of my heart Lord, that’s all I want. 109

Blank Space by Break-up Playlist The feeling is still vivid to me; the day we met each other in a rose garden filled with thorns. I can still remember how you looked at me as if I was the prettiest thing you’ve ever seen. It felt like it was magic. Though, was it really madness? Like I care, this feels like heaven, I couldn’t stop myself from falling for you. Until…I realized. You’ve made me believe in this nightmare dressed like a daydream. You’ve intoxicated me with your lies when you kissed me with those cherry lips. You’ve left me breathless. You’ve taken it too far; you’ve made me insanely in love with you. You’ve left my heart tortured, and I don’t know if anyone will be able to fill this blank space like how you did when you made me think you’re worth the pain. 110

Artwork by Alvin R. Bartolome 111

Artwork by Hanna May C. Gabriel 112

Man vs. Himself by untamablelass I was tired all day, going home but made a halt along the way hearing old voices, squalling, and locking horn, battling either to go inside or stay way, I’m in torn, smiled weakly, eagerly breathe, and double the heart beats underneath. Walked in, seemed they threw words non-stop, held my tears back, but I’m betrayed, crap! begging them to put an end, shouted, cried helplessly, hard to pretend. Heart was full of hatred and inflame, bright family collapsed to broken frame Sweetie, it was just a petty quarrel, she told, heart became bold yet cold, what she uttered was obviously absurd! I wished and demanded to take back my word. Opened up, but they couldn’t grasp, I knew, but they didn’t, there was a gap my senses commenced to ache, I should’ve known, I made a big mistake. 113

Truth is not bitter by Russel Joy L. Pascua Last time I wrote about being an independent and strong woman. Last time I encouraged women not to seek and long for a man. Last time I tasted the truth with bitterness, and tasted the sweet with lies. But this time, I lived with the perception of being in love. That the truth is not bitter, and same as lies is not sweet. And the last time I knew, I was addicted to the savory of intimacy. 114

Artwork byRussel Joy L. Pascua 115

Photo by Jezreel Larry R. Caunca 116

Raniag ti Paskua by Anthony Cumlat Intayo man pasangbayen ti umay a paskua Ngem no inka panunuten naragsak ngata? Gapo ti immay a sagubani ti lubong Covid, Delta, ken ASF nga awan patinggana. Kasla nakalupkupan ti nangisit nga angep ti sangalubungan Ado a tao nadismaya ti trabaho a naawanan. Ita a paskua, intay ikanta. Ragsak ti pagnaeden Isu sika kabsat inka agbaksinen. Tapnon ti kasta intayo man agsasala Dagiti ubbing mapan da agkanta. “Ang pasko ay sumapit tayo ay magsi-awit.” Ragsak ti ipakpakita ta kanta Umay manen agibunong regalo ni Santa. Intay papintasen ti aglawlaw Dagiti agkakapintas disenyo a silaw. Saan a daytoy bayros ti gapuna 117 Ti ayat nga intay patibkeren tunggal maysa.

Law of attraction or law of action? by Ecstatic in Chaos Opening social media sites with a smile. Law of attraction, cuties and such. Such a wonderful motivation for us indeed. But is sharing enough without action and perseverance? As time passed by, I became tired of it. For me, it should not just be law of attraction We also need to do the law of action Because without action there is no conclusion Work smart and hard, my friend Don’t forget to keep your faith and pray But always keep in mind that we handle our life The actions we make have consequences to take. This is just my opinion, don’t hate me for it. Remember that I am friend who cares, Not a friend who degrades. So, yes to the Law of attraction but with the law of action. 118

Photo by Daniel Sina 119

Artwork by Alvin R. Bartolome 120

Daliasatek by Jhian Denver G. Aspili Ania kadi iti inka kamkamaten? Umangeska sangkabassiten. Kurang kadi ti taraon nga nakadasar? Awis nga makaallukoy ti inka sinarungkar. Ni tatang ken ni nanang iti patiek. Ania man ti basol a nagnaak. Arapaap ken pammagbaga a tumpalen nga mapanko daliasaten. Gumilgil ayab a rikna iti Dios haan a mailimed lawag uray arbis na. Sumarungkarak anya man malasatak. Dakes nga apal iti sarsaritaenda. Daydi dalan a nalinak in-inut maidumduman. Saanko pulos ninamnama bayat panagdakkelko iti kalman ket maysan a napalabas. Uray naunday a panawen naimatangak ti karayan. Daliasatek ti nariknak a pannakailiw. Naadalem a karayan naragsakak uray awanka ditoy sibaykon. Inka panangkomusta kaniak, dagiti ikkis ken sangit maudim a marikna. Maitabon nga ayat tugotko inggana tanem ni Patay. 121

122 Astonish Dream by Kclaire What if one day I’ll wake up Realizing that the love we created under the moon Was it just a dream or Illusion? Will I regret or forget? If this is a dream Please don’t wake me up Cause I don’t want to be duped By the happiness you marked If this is just an illusion Please don’t disturb me Because I don’t want to be conscious of my surroundings I don’t want to feel what the reality may bring Yes I will regret Cause you take away my felicity No I will not forget Because I’ve experienced the love that made me a woman We tied a bond of promises That will never be frail And no one can untie It is tied forever even time will pass by Please don’t wake me up Convince me this is not a dream nor illusion Afraid of the reality that If I open my eyes This fairy tale we had will end in just a blink

Artwork by Alvin R. Bartolome 123

Artwork by Hanna May C. Gabriel 124

First Missing someone is a hard task Chapter I wish time would flash Go into the time that I’m with you And time would freeze too by Mensaherang Asul Can’t do anything Can I wish again? Cause you’re away over hundred miles How can I watch those captivating smiles? Longing for warm touch of your love The fairytale touch of your lips The army hugs of yours When will I feel it again? How long it will take To be with you in the intimate lakes Can I wish again? Don’t wake me up in this dreamland of joy Lovestring bind us But the distance separate us Can you walk just to be with me? Or just wish to flash the time? Baby it’s hard to be in this state Can time be overtaken? Can I wish again? Wish for the true happiness we want to gain? Long distance cause by misunderstanding Where is the road to go back in the time Where love is not full of misunderstanding Where is love true and pure? Can I wish again? Go back to the road we walk in And collect all the good thing we dropped To return the love we created in the beginning of this book 125

Katotohanan by Kyleigh Jasline Soller Ako’y nagising sa katotohanan Katotohanan na sana’y panaginip lamang Makulay na bansa sa isang iglap nawala Sa aking pagtulog ako’y nanaginip Pamumuhay sa bansa ay naging mahirap Nawalan ng oportunidad sa trabaho Pati eskwelahan naging tahimik Daanan na laging masikip Ngayo’y naging blangko Palengke na dati’y maingay Ngayo’y naging matiwasay Bilihin naging mahal Kaya’t tayo’y nalulumbay Tayo’y mapapaisip paano tayo ngayon Buha’y naging mahirap Na tila’y lahat nalulumbay Bansa’y naging malungkot Dahil sa pandemyang kinakaharap Kahirapan ngayo’y lalong umiiral Tayo’y maging matapang Upang pandemyang ito’y malabanan Ating ibalik ang bansang makulay Kahit ito’y laging maingay Aking napagtanto ang ingay ay masaya Maraming tao ang nagbibigay sigla Kaya’t batas ating sundin Pandemya’y ating sugpuin Kaso’y ating paliitin Na matupad ang ating hangarin Bansa’y ating pasiglahin 126

127Artwork by Russel Joy L. Pascua

Artwork by Alvin R. Bartolome 128

Nakakabinging Katahimikan by Nuwebe Nuwebe Sa mga panahong tayo’y malaya Nagdaan ang mga araw, linggo, pa, at buwan, Mula sa mga problemang ating Tuluyang naghari ang nadarama, katahimikan, Mga pamiliha’y masaya’t masigla, Wala ang saya sa ating Mga ingay na mula sa’ting kalagayan, sasakyan, Biglang napalitan ng Ating tanong, “makakabangon pa katahimikan, kaya?” Dating sigla’y napuno ng kalungkutan. Tila tayo’y nawawalan ng pag- asa, Paghihirap, nakikita sa ating mukha, Na itong pandemya ay matatapos pa At hinding-hindi na ako magtataka, Sa pagsikat ng panibagong umaga, Kung tuloy-tuloy ang pagpatak ng luha, Hiling ko’y bumalik na sa dating sigla, Karamiha’y nawalan ng hanap- buhay, Mga pamilihan, kalsada’t iba pa, Manumbalik ang sigla tulad ng Karamihan ay nasa kanilang bahay, dati, Muling masilayan, mga ngiti “Hanggang kailan pa ba tayo maghihintay?” sa’ting labi, Gaya noong panahong tayo’y malaya pa. 129

Dilaan mo bago ipasok by Tintang Puti Hindi maalis sa mukha ni Fely ang malawak na ngiti. Ngayon lang siya nakaramdam ng ganitong saya at excitement sa tanang buhay niya. Palukso-lusko pa ito habang binabay-bay ang daan papunta sa bahay nila Mang Kanor. Nang makarating si Fely sa bahay nina Mang Kanor ay hindi siya nag- atubiling hanapin ito. “Mukhang ang aga mo ata ngayon, Fely?” Bungad ni Mang Kanor sa kaniya nang makita niya ito. Hindi maiwasan ni Mang Kanor na suriin ang batang si Fely at napatigil ang tingin niya sa bandang dibdib ni Fely. “Naku, nawawala ang ikatlong butones ng blusa mo.” Napahagikhik si Fely, “Excited po kase talaga ako, Mang Kanor! First time ko po kase.” Napatingin din siya sa blusa niya nang mabanggit ni Mang Kanor ang nawawalang butones. “Ay hala, sa pagmamadali ko siguro kanina hindi ko napansin na natanggal pala po.” Napakamot na lang siya sa ulo. “Simulan na natin, ako’y excited na rin.” Mukhang may iba pang gustong 130

iparating si Mang Kanor sa kaniyang sinabi. Naupo silang dalawa sa may sofa habang masayang nagku-kuwentuhan. Sa una, mahinhin at nahihiya pa si Fely sa pakikitungo niya kay Mang Kanor. Kalaunan nagging komportable siya rito. “Dilaan mo muna ‘to Fely, mahihirapan kang ipasok yan.” Saad ni Mang Kanor. Hindi nag-alinlangang sumunod si Fely sa pinag-utos sa kaniya ni Mang Kanor. Mahinhin niyang dinilaan ang dulo nito, at ang loko, sinipsip pa hanggang sa medyo mamasa-masa na ito’t tumigas. Napasingha naman si Mang Kanor nang nagawa ni Fely ng tama ang kaniyang tinuturo. First time nitong si Fely ngunit mabilis itong matuto at sumunod. “Gusto mo ba ikaw magpasok niyan?” Tanong ni Mang Kanor at sinagot lang siya ni Fely ng tango. “Dahan-dahan kase baka mumintis. Pag nagmintis ka, kailangan mo ulit dilaan at patigasin.” Pagpapaalala nito sa kaniya. Tumango-tango si Fely bilang takda na naintindihan niya ang nais na iparating ni Mang Kanor. Unang pasok nito ay napahinga ng malalim si Fely. Hindi mawala sa mga labi niya ang ngiti. 131

“Subukan mo gayahin ‘tong ginagawa ko. Labas pasok lang. Ingat ka lang, ‘pag nagkamali ka medyo masakit-sakit konti. Tutal pers taym mo to, siguradong dudugo talaga yan.” Saad ni Mang Kanor. “First attempt,” bulong ni Fely sa kaniyang sarili. Hindi niya mapigilang mapaungol sa sakit nang matusok siya ng bagay na ‘yon. Agad naman siyang dinaluhan ni Mang Kanor at bahagyang inalis ang bagay na ‘to. Kitang-kita ang masaganang pag-agos ng dugo mula sa kaniya. Halata sa mukha ni Fely na nasaktan siya sa pagkakatusok ng bagay na ‘yon pero iniwaksi niya ang sakit at gulat. “Kakayanin ko po ‘to. Tuloy po na’tin.” Sabi ni Fely sabay alis sa blusa niya at ang sando na lang niya ang naiwang saplot sa kaniyang itaas na katawan. “Ganun naman talaga iha kapag pers taym mo sa pananahi. Hindi mo talaga maiiwasang matusok ng karayom kase hindi mo pa ito gamay.” Nakangiting saad ni Mang Kanor sa kaniya. 132

Artwork by Alvin R. Bartolome 133

Footprints of Happiness by Mensaherang Asul Baby I read back our conversations From happy to sad portions I began to a simple hellos Up to sweet goodnights We’re happy talking about our childhood history The stage of getting to know each other’s story We planned about our future And we promised together we will nurture Long night talks A cure for every smash of problems Unlimited laughter Served as my appetizer Those variety of songs you sung That made my heart jump Those secrets we shared That drawn us closer We shared our problems In the middle of the storms We shared our dreams In the middle of the fire of life 134

Photo by Jonh Lloyd Aquino Those smiles of yours Those silly jokes Those cheesy lines Those are my happiness When I’m in the middle of the conversation I encounter the sad portion Misunderstanding never leave us That’s the long distance we ever had I am trapped in the middle of two roads Which one should I travel to? Which one is the right road? Or which one is the road of happiness? I continue walking with you In a road full of challenges I chose to fight Rather than to left you alone in this battle We continue fighting Even most of the time we are hurting We chose to be together Than to be free from each other We fixed the broken pieces of our love We refill our drained happiness We repaint our colorless lives We revive our dying commitment 135

We become happy again We restore our relationship We came back to what we begun We chose the road of happiness But I woke up in the middle of the night I looked at my cell phone I saw our old conversation And that made me realized that I am dreaming All I thought everything is true That we are happy again But reality slapped me that it is only a dream How I wish I did not woke up from that dream I continue walking alone in this road Trying to find you Trying to find myself, too But you only left the footprints of our happiness I followed back the footprints But I’m lost Can you bring back even not with the old us But at least with the old me? 136

Artwork by Aian Mark Menor 137

138 Artwork by Alvin R. Bartolome

Fruit of Glowing Life by Blueth Firefly Sweetness morning kisses by the edge of the lamp through cherry blossoms mountain, Torch lying in my bed of roses, still whispering doves of brightness, Aurora borealis makes your wish come true and roaring breeze of peacefulness, Raising the flag of unity, by this gentle spirit of freedom fountain. Seedlings of spiritual bring strength to fight this smokey chain, Undying happiness serves the power of miracle’s humanity, Neon sky, holding pictures of flying fireflies through aliferous prosperity, Salvation by the palm of sunshine’s blessings, driving the essence of bravery and healing our pain. Melody of humming guitar delivers whitening equality through euphoria by flashing worship, Oceanic leaves of helping hand, flowing beside the water of courageous relationship, Oratorical harmony still believing through God’s love, by the footprint of truthful development, Niteo’s canticle, waving colors through this deeper divine environment. Heaven’s ered, embracing faithful mind through hard working kindness, Only Lord will be our galad to live a glamorous holiness, Portraying of our heart, calling Jesus name will be our sign for this positive calmness, Early quiescent angelify, this diamond’s hopefulness. 139

Self-effacing Morals by TheThoughtsofUntolds Hearing gossips about me in the doorstop I rolled my eyes, knowing it’s just an eavesdrop Nothing’s true about it but the gossips are nonstop Whatever, I told myself and just continue licking my lollipop. I find it weird how you stab my back and still smile prettily How can you still smile, don’t you feel guilty? If I surpass your wit, why drag me down? I’ve got tons of problems, don’t have time to breakdown. Girl, you’re pretty and witty don’t get insecure You’ve got issues in life? Dragging down someone is not the cure Close your eyes and ignore, don’t be immature Spread love and positivity, it’s for the future. I forgive you even if you don’t ask for it I’m not plastic and hypocrite I just don’t want to explicit Life is full of people like you, I’ll give you credit. But girl it’s time for you to give it up before it becomes an incurable habit. 140

Artwork by Justine Von B. Lagoc 141

Artwork by Clark Justine A. Galiza 142

Baseball by Gay Antonnette B. Tabones The Diamond field 4 bases. 1 mound. 9 players 9 innings. 3 strikeouts. 4 balls. Dead balls. Pressure, that’s what I can see Pitchers throw with all of their might and skills Battling with good batters Entrusting their backs to the fielders The mound is such a scary place Pitchers look so tall from the batter box Batters also look so tall from the mound No matter where you turn your head, pressure is everywhere In that place, a strong mentality is needed Strategies and mind games are formed Catchers give signs to pitchers Pitchers throw everything they have, believing in their battery Win or lose There is always a disappointment, As well as happiness Yet, satisfactory will always be the dominant feeling 143

Waltzing In Love by Pasta Waltzing on the sweet song you’ve 144 written for me — all about the promises, and how we were meant to be. Swaying on the loud heartbeat of mine, then you pulled me closer, held me by the waist as you spin me around until I couldn’t even remember my name. You’ve lean closer, and I was intoxicated by your mint breath, you’ve kissed me with that luscious lips coated with lies — “I’ll never let this moment pass,” you’ve whispered, as you pulled away, waltzing on the opposite direction. You’ve lied. You’ve let go of me first. You’ve left me dancing with other woman, happy — while I was left standing in the middle, like a bride who lost her groom on the day of her wedding.

Artwork by Hanna May C. Gabriel 145

Winter 146

The First Snowfall… In many cultures, the season of winter is an important season because it is usually the last in the cycle of seasons. It occurs after autumn and before spring each year. Many people say that it’s the most beautiful time of the year because it begins in December. There are different beliefs that a lot of people believe in when it comes to the first snowfall. In some cultures, people believe that when you confess to someone, or if you are with someone during the first snowfall, you will stay together for a long time. Others also believe that if you witness the first snowfall of the winter season, you can make a wish and it will come true. What if these beliefs are not always true, and what will happen is the opposite? This beautiful season can turn out to be the worst season of the year. Wishes won’t come true, and the possibility of losing a person we love is inevitable. I removed my eyeglasses and stretched my arms. I checked the time, and it’s already 1 AM. I’ve been trying to finish the manuscript that I am writing, but I just feel so tired now. I decided to turn off my laptop and jumped onto my bed. I yawned. Maybe I can just continue writing again tomorrow. Time passes just as quickly as I did when I drifted to sleep. I had to wake up early, even though I wanted to curl up inside my blanket, because I really had to finish and submit my manuscript this afternoon. While taking a sip of my latte, the phone suddenly rang. I reached it on the other side of the table and saw the calling card. It was Crystal, my best friend, calling me. 147

“Hello, what’s up? Why are you calling me this early?” I asked and she just shrieked, which almost made me throw my phone away. I was so confused as to why she was suddenly screaming over the phone. “OMG, stop! Don’t tell me you forgot about today?” She told me, but I was clueless. Maybe it’s because I’m just too stressed out and feeling pressured about my unfinished manuscript. “Today is the first day of snowfall! How can you forget about this? We’re supposed to go to the tower, right?” She said it calmly and composedly, as opposed to the hysterical Crystal a few minutes before. I almost hit myself for not making sure that I had this in my calendar reminders. “Of course, I do! I was just kidding!” I lied. I had to avoid her nagging and never-ending lectures on me. I’m even writing about it; how did I even forget about it? “Phew! I thought you had forgotten about it. Anyway, I’ll be there in 5 minutes. Let’s go early while there are only a few people. We need to witness the first day of snowfall this year because we missed it last year! Bye!” I was about to respond when she hung up the call. I won’t be able to finish my story, but I will still get to witness the first snowfall in real life. Honestly, I don’t have any idea if all the things I have researched about the winter season are real, especially the magic of love under the mistletoe or the magic of the first snowfall. I can’t help but think, isn’t it enough that we believe in the holiday season instead 148

of the winter season? The holiday season is more exciting and fun, compared to waiting for the first snowfall all day. You’re waiting for that make-believe happiness and true love that is impossible to happen. Just the Christmas season alone makes this time of the year fun and exciting. Aside from this, we also have the coldest winter season, which makes it even more joyous. From skating, skiing, and other winter activities on the ice, to curling up by the fireplace and enjoying some hot chocolate, winter is the perfect time to get cozy and enjoy the beauty of the holidays. Crystal knocked on my door five minutes after she called, which made me believe that she was really excited. Or maybe because their house is just next to ours. “Let’s go—why are you still in your sleeping clothes?” She’s freaking out, but I just laughed. “It’s still early; wait for me. I’ll just take a bath, and change my clothes.” She just crossed her arms and rolled her eyes as she sat on my bed. I immediately went to my bathroom. Since it’s so cold, I turned on my shower heater. After twenty minutes, I finished taking a bath, and it took me only five minutes to change into my winter clothes. “Finally, let’s go!” Crystal said, and we both left the house. When we arrive at the tower, where we will witness the first snowfall. There’s a sea of people and I could say from their expressions that they have been waiting for this day. I couldn’t stop wondering why. I am wearing a black t-shirt, a fuzzy trench coat, black pants, and my favorite winter boots. Crystal was also wearing a trench coat and a pair of winter boots. Even though there’s no snow yet, the atmosphere is really cold, indicating the official start of the winter season. 149

I can’t believe that it’s already winter here. I have to admit that this is my most favorite season of the year. I can’t help but remember the story I was writing last night, which is all about it. I wonder if confessing to the person you love on the first snowfall will make you stay together for a long time. Probably some married couples can prove this. Or maybe this is just another way of making people believe in “true love.” Also, who would want a relationship that would last a long time? Should we be wishing for a relationship that will not end instead? I was about to talk to Crystal, who was supposed to be by my side, but she was nowhere to be found. I looked around, but there was no sign of Crystal anywhere. Did she just leave me here? I fished my phone out of my coat pocket and texted her. “Where are you?” After a few minutes, I received a reply message from her. “One of my cousins saw me and dragged me here with the rest of our relatives. Where are you? I’ll be back there. I’ll call you later, I’m sorry.” I guess I’ll be alone for the next few minutes, or hours. I should’ve stayed at home and finished writing my story. I sighed heavily. I had no choice but to enjoy the view from up here. I looked around. The streets are busy. There were a lot of families with their children, friends, couples, and even the elderly were walking around the streets. We are all excited about the coming winter and holiday season. “It’s really beautiful up here, don’t you think?” I heard a familiar voice behind me. I turned my back to check if it was him, and I was right. Right behind me is the one and only, Aster. 150