The Carpenter - REALM

Spring 2023 “You have been working on it for the past month,” Henry yells, getting impatient. “You have to give me more time the Spanish won’t take the damn letters and it’s putting—“ “The letters don't mean anything,” Henry interrupts, jumping from his seat with his flintlock drawn pointed at the captain. “Come in boys,” the crew files in and soon the badly lit room is filled with sweaty men all pointing the flintlocks at the captain with eyes like daggers at him. “L-Look, I’m trying to get the letters to the Spanish; they just won't take them,” the captain says. “We don't care, we want our wages and you wont give it to us so we will throw you off the ship and we will get our wages another way,” one of the crew members pipes up. They take him up to the deck, put him in a row boat and send him off. With this, Henry becomes the new captain and renames the ship from Charles II to The Fancy. As Henry walks into his new quarters, he takes a look around and examines what it looks like. The rotten wood, creepy panels, mist coming through the windows, the one light that barely lights the room. It was his now. Not knowing what to do, he goes up to the crew and says, “We are going to sail the seas and plunder English, Indian, and all the ships that aren’t with us” a cheer erupts from the crew and they set sail from Spain to the unknown. 15 years later. Henry's men are being found and every one of them are being put on trial. So Henry goes into hiding. He finds himself in a run down shack that with the slightest breeze it creeks like an old door that’s about to fall off the hinges. The room that he sleeps in is not very well lit with a small run down bed with a rotten frame that crumbles at the touch. A little desk with a large build up of dust and an unused quill. The Carpenter | 51

Spring 2023 “Why did I leave it all and bury the treasure? I had all the ships and the fame but what I loved was the chase. I should have never given it up.” He ponders what he just said and remembers why he left. He remembers the gruesome day that it all happened. He and his crew were at an island and they were trapped on all sides by British ships; the crew with him was massacred. He was able to make it out and he vowed to let it go all the piracy. So he buried all of it. “I’m going to bury it all of it, all of my treasure,” Henry said “You mean our treasure no you won’t I won’t let you I worked hard for this to” Charles says, his eyes looking daggers at him. “Then you get this,” Henry waves at the ship and at the crew that’s left, “You can have it all and I’m out.” Charles is very reluctant to let him leave, but in the end it is decided that he would leave and the treasure would be buried. Henry blinks his tears away. The Carpenter | 52

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Spring 2023 coffee: 1. a hot drink shared with those i want to see in the morning. | Thomas Evans ‘25 | I Believe in Practice | Trevor Mentz I believe in practicing. For me, I try my best to practice baseball everyday. But of course, things get in the way. Homework. Chores. Especially my lack of energy. It does pay off though. The last couple years, I’ve not been so interested in practicing. I thought it didn’t do anything. But recently, I’ve seen my friends on my baseball team become better. I realized the negatives of falling behind, and I jumped from that and immediately started to practice more. I just needed to put my mind to it. Especially since I’m now a high schooler, everyone gets better. And I need to, too. It just takes practice. I need to trust the process. Slowly. Everyone always says, “Practice makes perfect.” But in sports, there is no such thing as perfect. Sure, you can reach certain aspects of perfection. And to do that, you need to practice. It takes mental toughness that most people struggle with. It takes commitment. It takes work. It takes practice. Practice. Every time I do a workout, I feel like there’s no progress. But I’ve learned you don’t automatically get better. I’ve learned it takes time. I’m scared of falling behind in baseball. Baseball, the mentality killing game, requires a lot of effort. The thought of falling behind gives me motivation. Motivation to practice. And it pays off. The Carpenter | 54

Spring 2023 In the weight room, watching others bench more than you. Watching others squat more. On the baseball field, watching others hit balls farther. Watching others run faster. Seeing other people you’re competing against being better. These are all signs of the practice I need, yet I need to remember to not get down on myself, and dig a hole. Also, don’t let the coaches get in the way of your mental game. Baseball is a mental game. It requires strong confidence. Nobody can go up to the plate with no confidence. You just can’t. So if you’re cut from a team, or behind everyone else, it’s okay. Learn from it, and focus on yourself. Don’t let a coach give negative feedback; have it be constructive criticism. Constructive criticism leads to a stronger game. The past is the past, and any mistakes ought to be learned from. Mistakes make you better. But in order to get anywhere, you absolutely need to practice. It’s the mindset. If I can do it, anyone can. I believe in practicing. The Carpenter | 55

Spring 2023 clapping: 1. striking the palms to empower those i care for most. | Owen Cooper ‘24 The Carpenter | 56

Spring 2023 | On Recalcitrant Grace | John Vance Sunrise: \"Why does it have to be so early? Can't you come up a little later so I can sleep in?\" Rainbow: \"Why do you have to disappear so quickly? I wish you could stay in the sky a little longer.\" Waterfall: \"Why are you always so far away? It takes forever to get to you, and I'm always exhausted by the time I arrive.\" Butterfly: \"Why must you fly away so soon? I want to admire your beauty for longer than a few seconds.\" Ocean: \"Why are you so vast and unpredictable? It's scary not knowing what's beneath the surface.\" Snowflake: \"Why do you melt so quickly? I wish I could keep you frozen forever.\" Mountain: \"Why are you so hard to climb? It's so frustrating to put in all that effort and not make it to the top.\" Sunflower: \"Why do you always face the sun? Can't you look in other directions too?\" Seashell: \"Why are you always broken when I find you? I wish I could find a whole one for once.\" Summer: \"Why do you have to be so hot and humid? It's unbearable to be outside for more than a few minutes.\" Rose: \"Why do you have to have so many thorns? It makes it difficult to pick you without getting pricked.\" The Carpenter | 57

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Spring 2023 walking: 1. moving at a regular pace, unbothered, and going home. | Shane Anderson ‘24 The Carpenter | 59

Spring 2023 | A New Chapter | Alec Sexton It was the end of the summer of 2022, my whole summer had led up to these three days. These were the days of high school soccer tryouts. I was nervous, unsure, and scared, my goal was to make the varsity team but even to me it seemed like a tall mountain to climb. My most vivid memory from those tryouts was walking out on the first day, I had just finished tryouts with the freshman group and the upperclassmen were coming on. I recognized someone I knew, and we talked a little. I asked what team he wanted to make and he responded with “Bench riding varsity.” I laughed and told him that I would be starting on varsity. He laughed and told me that there was no way, but those few words might have been the changing factor that got me on that team. For me, the negative comments, the people who don’t believe, and the pressure are just fuel added to my fire. When I am told that I can’t do something or won’t be able to, it pushes me to reach new limits or heights that I wouldn’t have reached without those people. Some people might crumble like a cookie with hate or the lack of support, but I need those haters, I thrive on proving them wrong and showing them who I am. Making varsity soccer as a freshman was one of those moments for me, a moment where I was able to prove to those people who didn’t believe in me and most importantly, to prove to myself that I was capable. Making the varsity soccer team was one of the defining moments of my freshman year in high school. It taught me about hard work, dedication, and reinforced my confidence in myself. I am grateful for the opportunity to have played on the varsity soccer team and for the memories that will last a lifetime. In conclusion, making the varsity soccer team as a freshman in high school was a dream come true. It was a testament to the hard work and dedication that I put The Carpenter | 60

Spring 2023 into my sport, and it showed me even more that above all, never listen to others' doubts. I will never forget the thrill of hearing my name called and the feeling of excitement that came with it. This was the start of a new chapter in my life, and I am eager to see what the future holds. The Carpenter | 61

Spring 2023 | Null and Void | Hans Raven The hole appears Far above Furtive glances everywhere Who is it now Another comes to join the ranks An empty shell Descends from above Look Look We whisper They were once whole We laughed All of us And briefly felt Before returning to emptiness The newcomer howled Still in their last throes of fullness The Carpenter | 62

Spring 2023 We told them not to struggle It was no use The pull of the abyss was too strong For even the happiest of us All of us had to fall At some point And we saw its Lieutenants appear Null and Void They reached towards The newcomer And they took hold of them Purging their feelings Leaving naught But a hole We all felt it The absence grew stronger The Carpenter | 63

Spring 2023 We had heard those above Speak As they looked at us And they had said This was simply sadness No NO They had no idea This was no mere feeling It was indescribable absence So us husks Had fallen down To the abyss Null and Void Stole us away Even still we are here Trapped Shells in a prison With no lock But also no key The Carpenter | 64

Spring 2023 The one relief Is that there is no individual No We are collective And each husk grows the void Our thoughts grow turbulent Until We are distracted By a light From above The hole appears once more And the cycle repeats No one is immune The Carpenter | 65

Spring 2023 | My Key to Happiness | Jace Taranto During my span of middle school, I didn’t have the best time, per se. I didn’t have what you would call friends. The people I hung out with were more like acquaintances than anything. I hung out with them at school, but outside of school, I didn’t really hang out with anyone. On occasion, these acquaintances would come hang out at my house, but that was only a few times. I wouldn’t say I was depressed, but I was pretty sad that I didn’t really have friends. That is mostly because they didn’t share common interests, or they were only interested in sports, while I was invested in drama and musicals. Now, when figuring out which high schools to apply to, the main thing I considered was the drama and music department because I knew that I could easily make friends there. From there, the only option I could think of was MSJ. I knew they had an amazing music and drama program, family legacy, and they collaborate with Mount de Sales frequently. This would mean I could make so many friends in MSJ and MDSA. My shadow at MSJ was in the theater department and I got the chance to stay after school to see what their theater department was like. That is where I started to make friends, which carries over to now. After knowing that I made friends at MSJ, I knew that it was the school for me. I applied and several months later, I was accepted. A few months later, I saw MSJ’s production of Shrek all three times since I found it so enjoyable, and even made friends with people in the cast, when I didn’t even go there yet. Fast forward, I auditioned for Annie and made many friends there that I talk to every day. I was just in Addams Family, cast as Pugsley, where I made more friends. While some of my good friends are seniors, I hope I’ll be able to keep our The Carpenter | 66

Spring 2023 bonds for the rest of our lives. As for the others who aren’t seniors, I also hope to keep them in my life forever. Finding and meeting people that I can relate to has helped me in so many ways. I’m truly able to bond with them because of our common interests of theater and singing. I feel as every time I see them that life has rewarded me with these people. My friends have brought the best out of me. I’ve been happier ever since meeting all my new friends, which leads me to believe that friends are the key to happiness. This I believe. The Carpenter | 67

Spring 2023 home: 1. where i will always belong. | Julian Caravagio ‘25 The Carpenter | 68

Spring 2023 | The Battle of Caporetto | Aiden Herbst “Get up,” shouted Karl, “get up!” My eyes slowly pitched open. The taste of saliva and mud sliding down my throat. I slightly regurgitate in response. My head feels as heavy as the rocks beside me. I struggle to lift my head up off the ground. German and Austro-Hungarian soldiers wail as they scurry toward their enemy. Hailstorms of invisible gunfire, the only way you know are the whip-like crack of the 7.92mm round whizzing past your ear, or a hole through some poor soul's chest. My ears are engulfed by this ringing sound almost making it seem like I’d gone deaf. My chest, aching as if I had just lost a bar fight. My legs shake as if I am a puppy who doesn’t know where his mother is. My arms are entirely numb as if I am paralyzed. The sight of mortar shots soaring in the air like birds. I clenched my Gewehr 98. I feel a little sense of safety and protection. I stumble up on my feet like a drunken man. “That was a close one,” Karl told me, “you almost got done in by a potato masher.” I slowly began to remember why I was even here in the first place: push through the mountains and break the Italian lines. “Where’s Hans?” I shouted at Karl “I don’t know, I lost sight of him when the commander blew the whistle that commenced the attack,” Karl replied. If we do find Hans, he may not be in one piece. “We have to keep moving, we’re bound to be basket cases if we stay here for too long” I told Karl, getting out of the little ditch we were in. We both sprinted toward the next area of cover we could find. There were some big boulders up ahead, around 2 feet in height and 4 in length, and a ditch about 1 foot deep in The Carpenter | 69

Spring 2023 front of the boulders. I looked at Karl, it seems he had the same idea as me. I need to cover Karl, that giant fuel tank on his back, almost like a big metal heart, was a big red bullseye for the Italians. We got up from our positions and started to make a run for it. I held my rifle up, peeked through the iron sights, and ran alongside Karl to protect him from any Italians trying to pop that fuel tank. We both kept running and eventually made it to the boulders. “Do you see him anywhere?” Karl asked, surveying the wave of soldiers charging forward. “I couldn’t tell if I tried,” I replied. “Come on, we have to keep moving,” I said, “we’re getting dangerously close to the Italian lines.” I slowly peeked around the boulders, trying to spot another area of cover we could dash to. “Do you see any other Kleifs anywhere?” Karl asked. “Yes, but the nearest one looks around 100 yards down that hill.” The battlefield had minimal organization. Soldiers were charging mindlessly toward the frontlines, like mammals running off of pure instinct. “Hey, it looks like there is another wave of soldiers coming this way, about eighty yards away,” Karl pointed out. “I got an idea, we’ll slip into the wave of men after some of them pass, we’ll use that as a way to get into the Italian fortifications.” We patiently waited for the next wave of soldiers to come running by like a stampede. Once they began running past us, we swiftly crouched out of the ditch and joined the wave. We slowly made our way up to the Italian lines. Men were dropping like flies around us. I distinctly heard the sound of a machine gun, the Fiat-Revelli, roaring in the distance as it furiously devoured the ammunition it was being fed. “Karl!” I shouted. “This way!” We had been running right for that Fiat-Revelli. I The Carpenter | 70

Spring 2023 steered Karl away from that direction and we started heading a bit left of where the wave of soldiers were charging towards. Karl gave me a confused look as to why I steered him to the left. “Fiat-Revelli.” I pointed out. Karl nodded in understanding. We kept running through the harsh terrain of the Italian Alps. We had made it to the edge of one of the Italian trenches. “Okay, I’m going to give you cover fire,” I commanded Karl, “all you have to do is shoot your Kleif into the trench.” “Got it,” Karl responded Brimming with confidence, Karl got up, aimed his flamethrower, and sprayed it toward the Italians. White hot flames shimmer through fierce yellow and into burnt orange flames. The pungent odor of charred wood fills the air, choking the lungs of any would-be firefighters. A blanket of smoke covers everything. The eviscerating inferno destroyed anything that lies in its path like a lion, surrounded by hyenas, protecting its kindling. The flamethrower successfully removed the Italians from the trench. We carefully made our way around the flames and into the trenches. We found other German and Austro-Hungarian troops inside the trench as well, as they had breached other areas of the trench. “Gott Strafe die Allies!” shouted a German soldier as he shot an Italian. I could feel all of the suffering occurring in the trench. “Come on; we have to keep pushing!” I yelled at Karl. “We can’t let them regroup, get them while they are on the run!” We continued to push through the trenches. “On your left!” shouted Karl. A soldier quickly jumped out from a bunker inside the trench. The soldier and I engaged in hand-to-hand combat as he shoved me to the ground. The The Carpenter | 71

Spring 2023 soldier muttered something in Italian that I could not comprehend. He slowly started to get the advantage over me. I tried reaching for my knife. The soldier knocked the knife away from me and began to strangle me. “No, Wilhem!” Karl screams out. Another soldier jumped out from the bunker and started to head towards Karl. I continue to struggle, trying relentlessly at getting the man off of me so I can win this. I begin to doubt my chances of getting him off as I feel weakness begin to spread through my body. Then, the whizzing sound of 2 7.92mm rounds. I regained my strength and pushed the soldier off of me. “Hans!” Karl shouted. “I found you guys,” Hans replied. “Hans!” I shouted. “We were worried about you.” “No time for a reunion,” Hans mentioned. “Right,” Karl replied. We continued to push through the Italian trench. We eventually reached the end of the trench line where German soldiers were stationed. “We have captured the trench line!” shouted an Austrian officer. We did it. The Carpenter | 72

Spring 2023 family: 1. all the descendants of a common ancestor who are pieces of me. | Manlav Chawla ‘26 The Carpenter | 73

Spring 2023 | By the Water | Hans Raven At the edge we stand Both of us wishing to swim For different reasons I to find Peace in the touch Of the ocean You to lose Yourself in its depths We frolic like always But you hide a sad smile In your face That I cannot see We are perfectly calm Like nothing can go wrong Until you dive down Deeper than you should My surprise is the only mistake But fatal nevertheless The Carpenter | 74

Spring 2023 Now the ocean grows From clear calm blue Into dark rough grey As the storm begins And has caught me unaware I dive down Seeking to help you Save you from yourself Extending my hand I offer a lifeline But you take it not And instead pull yourself deeper I carry on Thinking I can drag you Above the waves Back to your senses But you already told me You were ready I was never going to be The Carpenter | 75

Spring 2023 The darkness takes your Sinking body As I reach out Pain is all I feel Painted across my face I cry out and the ocean stifles me As you smile sadly at me Before you are completely consumed Seeming to say I’m sorry I reach and reach Trying to find you But my lungs and heart Can take me no further And I return to the surface Gasping air As I climb to shore Tears stream down my face I sob loudly Nothing can comfort me The Carpenter | 76

Spring 2023 The ocean once sweet Now is bitter All my life I thought You were fine Why I could not see it All the pain and sadness Within you I scream and cry But you cannot come back What you have done Cannot be undone The veil is one way only You took yourself beyond You saw no other option And now You are gone Forever The Carpenter | 77

Spring 2023 Under the water We cannot breathe And the pressure forces Us deeper and deeper Till we cannot return above The Carpenter | 78

Spring 2023 | Munich Massacre | Beckett Flury It was in the afternoon on September 4, 1972, the Israeli athletes were in the Olympic Village apartment. They had arrived earlier in the morning and they were just getting settled into the apartment. Gathered around the table, there were five athletes playing cards. The rest were watching television and cooking food. The smell of noodles and tomato sauce, salty and sweet. Later in the day, one athlete named Tamar looked out the window and glanced at two black trucks with tinted windows driving around together. He kept his eye on the trucks and realized that they were going in circles around the apartment. Tamar did not think anything of it and went back to the couch to watch the television. Around forty five minutes later, Tamar looked out the window and saw that the trucks were still driving around. He became more suspicious. After watching the trucks for hours, it became late and the trucks disappeared. Tamar and the rest of the athletes went to bed to get some sleep. The athletes awoke as the sunlight beamed through the cracks in the window blinds. It was September 5, 1972; the athletes went out to the coffee shop to get some breakfast. The adrenaline was already rushing through their bodies as their first Olympic game was tomorrow. The athlete's arrived back to the apartment, stomach full, as they got ready to go train for the big game the next day. Removing his pajamas, Yossef jumped into the closet to put his clothes on. As they were getting dressed, Yossef was talking to Isaac, a three time Olympic gold medalist, about how nervous he was and he was seeing if Isaac could relate. Isaac was feeling the same emotions. Legs quivering, Yossef dreamed of winning the gold medal. Later that day before dawn, the athletes were trying to relax themselves and get into the right mindset for their game. Some were watching television, The Carpenter | 79

Spring 2023 others were sleeping, and the rest were praying. The athletes of this generation are very determined. Disguised as athletes and using stolen keys, eight terrorists associated with the group Black September, forced their way into the quarters of the Israeli Olympic team at 31 Connollystrasse. As they attempted to enter Apartment 1, they were confronted by Yossef Gutfreund, a wrestling referee, and Moshe Weinberg, a wrestling coach. Weinberg was shot while fighting with the attackers, who forced him at gunpoint to lead them to the rooms of the remaining Israeli coaches and athletes. As the athletes were getting mentally prepared, Tamar heard a bang outside of the apartment. He was shook. Before he could see what happened, eight men that were wearing ski masks; carrying bags filled with grenades, ammo, and weapons, bursted through the door and pointed their weapons at the athletes. Tamar’s eyes were glowing stars. The men in ski masks were yelling “‫ ”إرفع يديك عاليا‬But instead of putting their hands up, the two Israeli athletes tried to run away and the terrorists shot them dead as if they were hunting animals. One person in the room next to the athletes, named Elijah, saw what was happening and sneaked out. The nine other Israeli athletes were on their knees with guns to their heads, begging to be let go. The terrorists demanded the release of 234 Arab prisoners from Israeli jails, as well as two German terrorists held in West German custody. Elijah drove to the police station. He bolted through the doors gasping for air, trying to ask for help. Officer Kevin asked what’s wrong as Elijah tried to spit out words. Elijah caught his breath and told Officer Kevin what happened. Officer Kevin said, “Okay, I will get my partner, Officer Brian, and some reinforcements, and we will drive over.” They arrived at the hotel and told the lady at the front desk to evacuate everyone and that there was an emergency. Once everyone was evacuated, the cops sneakily went up to the outside of the room that the team was in. Two cops The Carpenter | 80

Spring 2023 rappelled up the hotel to the window of the room. At the door of the room, Officer Kevin yelled, “This is the Munich Police Department, open the door now!” The terrorists shouted back, “Do not open the door, we have hostages that we will shoot!” After waiting in the room, more reinforcements came in. A helicopter and around fifty cops. It was now dark and the terrorists were still in the room. The hostages were still trying to find help. Later in the night, while the police were making a plan to get into the room, the terrorists took the hostages out the back of the hotel and got in an all black van with tinted windows. As the terrorists sped away, they threw a grenade where the police cars were parked. Explosions after explosions as the cars blew up. Officer Kevin’s ears rang. The terrorists were chased and eventually got away from the police. Ten cops had been killed in the explosion. The remaining police went straight to the airport where they expected to see the terrorists. The terrorists came running into the airport, yelling to get a plane. The police were already set up in their spots on rooftops to stop the terrorists. 3,2,1… thousands of shots fired at once. The terrorists tried to find cover but there was nowhere to hide. The shots were singing as they came out of the guns. Nine Israeli hostages were killed along with five terrorists and one West German policeman. The one hostage who survived was named Shaul Ladany. He managed to make it through a Nazi concentration camp as well as the Munich massacre. Three terrorists survived: Adnan Al-Gashey, Jamal Al-Gashey, and Mohammed Safady. They were arrested, only to be released the following month in the hostage exchange that followed the hijacking of Lufthansa Flight 615. The Olympic Games were suspended for 24 hours to honor the Israeli athletes killed and the tragic event. The Soviet Union went on and won the most gold and overall medals. The Carpenter | 81

Spring 2023 teenager: 1. adolescence and life at my fingertips | Tyler Wisniewski ’26 The Carpenter | 82

Spring 2023 | A Shadowless Promenade | Robert Linthicum I am sensitive to light. I only go on walks when it's cloudy or nighttime, I purposely avoid heavily lighted areas, and I wear hats on the few occasions when I have no option to avoid the sun. It's more common for me to go on walks during the night than the day since Maryland has far more sunlight than I prefer. My usual walking route takes me from my home, to the light-rail, to the local middle school, to the horse-farm, and finally to the overlook. The overlook is the name that the residents of my town have given to the hill that overlooks the airport. Around three months ago I went on one of these sunless strolls and noticed that there was something off about the woods on the hill in the horse farm that ascends to the overlook. When walking up the hill on your left you can see a clearing which holds a muddy trail for the horses and their riders to go through. I'm pretty sure the trail is to train the horse’s ankles or something along those lines but I'm not totally certain, it could just exist because it's pretty. Every now and then I’ll walk through the trail although that only occurs during my rare daytime walks. Anyways I noticed that the clearing looked troubled. The trees were bare, the dirt was crusty, and the trail seemed to be more of a trench than a walkway. For whatever reason I decided to walk through, so I did. I turned a sharp 90 degrees to the left and stepped down into the clearing. The smell was strong and earthy and it was almost as though all the airport’s light pollution simply disappeared. I could see more stars than I've ever seen before and the moon was incredibly radiant. I kept going through the trail and smiled as I enjoyed the smells and beauties. The Carpenter | 83

Spring 2023 I had been walking for longer than the trail actually is. The trail is only a few hundred meters long and can be walked in a matter of minutes even accounting for its twists and turns. I checked my phone, realized that I had been on the trail for about 45 minutes, and decided that it was probably time to head back. I took a seat and drank some sweet tea from my beat-up water bottle and spent about five minutes just sipping and enjoying the scene I had found myself in. As my taste buds detected sweetness, my nose experienced a parade of aromas and floral scents, my eyes were dazzled by the brilliance of the stars and the moon's luster upon the leaves of all the trees, my skin felt the pleasant brisk chill, and my ears detected creatures scurrying through the trees and thickets. Not big enough to pose a threat but big enough to fill me with anxiety. I promptly decided that with the dropping temperature and loudening forest that it was time to go so I stood and began to make my way back to the clearing. After wandering around for what felt like forever, I found the clearing and made my way out. According to my watch I had walked in around nine and got out close to 11:55 PM. I began to make my way home and realized that a few things seemed off. First, there were no cars or people on the usually busy road. It then came to my attention that all of the house lights were out and the street lights were dim. I continued on ignoring the changes and came to the conclusion that the weird occurrences probably didn’t matter and were probably just a coincidence due to a failure at the power plant or some official failing to pay a fee. I walked through the wooded part of the trail that leads to the light rail although the street lights at the end of the tree-stren alley stretched farther and farther away the more I walked. After about 6 minutes of walking through the tree covered path that should only have taken about 30 seconds to walk through I The Carpenter | 84

Spring 2023 realized that something was wrong and decided to take the sidewalk home and walk out of the trail the way I had come in. As I made my way to the area I had come from the same stretching effect took place and this time it only took me about 30 seconds to realize instead of the full 6 minutes. Forward and backwards were both hopeless directions so I went right. My feet took me deeper and deeper down into the woods hoping for a way home. Hiking farther and farther into my perceived exit, the trees around me began to change. The bare deciduous forest turned into a coniferous woodland and the ground I walked upon turned from dirt and grass and scattered sticks and stones into a nice cushiony moss. The trees grew wider and wider the further I ventured until eventually one of the pillows of moss I stepped on gave out and I tumbled down into the forest. I don’t remember the fall or how long it took. The only thing I can recall about it is the hollow dizzy feeling in my head and the odd sensation in my stomach, like when you feel your stomach move on the drop of a roller coaster. Other than that I have no recollection of the fall. When the feeling subsided my eyes opened and I was surrounded by green grass under a blue sunless sky. Everything I could see was illuminated without any sort of shadows anywhere, but it wasn’t necessarily bright, just without shadow. It was impossible to tell what was next to me and what was miles away because of how skewed my depth perception was in that shadowless meadow. My steps were slow and calculated so as to be careful that I won't lose my footing again. After walking in that slow careful fashion for a few minutes I finally made my way to a grassless stone clearing that overlooked wood and water. Standing upon that rocky cliff head to my left were oceans and oceans of more grassland specked with flowery meadows and boulders. I don’t know how far it went because of the lack of shadows. It could’ve gone for miles and miles or The Carpenter | 85

Spring 2023 they could’ve been situated on an ascending hill with the illusion of infinity. To my right was a glorious sea of golden glaciers in a radiant ichor of a similar color. Something in me thirsted for the gold, so I started with a walk and the closer I got the more and more I desired to swim in the shining ocean and slide across the divine glaciers. My walk turned to a power walk and then a jog and finally a sprint. How can I hope to explain my desire to be swallowed whole by the gold? I ran and ran and ran. With such speed, such intensity that I threw myself from the cliff to save time and broke through the boulder I landed upon. Again I was assaulted by the hollow dizziness and the rise of my stomach in my gut. When I woke up I was in a ruby bedazzled throne room made entirely out of gold. In front of me was a shiny black stone throne. Upon the throne was what I assumed to be some sort of monarch covered in tattered cloaks and rags. I gathered myself and walked over to the throne to ask the being “where am I? What is this place? What are you?” The robes and cloaks and rags that had held the shape and semblance of a monarch fell and became a pile. I searched through the pile to find anything to tell me what was going on. I found and picked up an intricately carved mahogany box and brought it to the center of the room to open it. I took out and carefully examined what I perceived to be a book. It was bound in some sort of yellow reptilian leather held by a single red mushy string. I opened it and began to read. My words will fall short of the things that I felt when I read the second act. There isn’t a single book in all of the library of babel that could even dream of replicating even a single percent of what I felt. All the thousands of natural shocks that flesh is heir to storming in to overwhelm my mind’s eye, the unspeakable psychological atrocities making me question if there is even one The Carpenter | 86

Spring 2023 person on Earth who’s ever been sane, all the pleasure’s of Adam’s lineage, and the victories and empires all piercing through my perceived sanity falling and rising in a truly indescribable macabre dance. What can I hope to describe except the long shadows cast by my thoughts as I read and the black stars above the king’s capital, Carcosa? I put the book down and woke up as a volunteer searcher shook me awake where I had spent the past few hours slumbering in the forest right by the horse farm. I was returned home to my thankful parents and went upstairs into my room to change out of my mud-crusted clothes and try to collect myself. There I saw the book bound in a golden serpent’s skin, resting on my bed, The King In Yellow. The Carpenter | 87

Spring 2023 intelligence: 1. apply knowledge, but have fun with it | Ronan Crowley ‘23 The Carpenter | 88

Spring 2023 | You Can Never Truly Hit Rock Bottom | Joshua Anderson I believe that you can never truly hit rock bottom. One night when I was nine-years-old, I felt too weak to walk. My parents took me to Johns Hopkins Children's Hospital where I was diagnosed with an undisclosed, life-threatening, disease. I spent two weeks in the hospital where they ran various tests and performed different operations. During this time I thought to myself, How could my life get any worse? Just a few days earlier I was a typical nine-year-old, able to play and talk to friends as I pleased. Now I was bedridden with a three-and-a-half year recovery journey ahead of me. I had lost hope and believed I had truly hit rock bottom. I was extremely wrong. During my time in the hospital, I was able to meet many other kids going through similar things as me. One thing I found strange at first was how happy everyone was, even those in worse condition than me. This got me thinking about what things in life I can be grateful for. I still had many friends and family members to talk to and play with as well as wonderful doctors taking care of me. I realized that it is all about mental state. You control if you hit rock bottom. I finally understood why it was necessary to stay positive. There are people in this world with nothing, such as the homeless. You may look at them and think that that’s the worst it could get while they believe they are living a good life. They haven’t hit rock bottom because they are happy and spread joy to those they interact with. Others have everything you could imagine and are The Carpenter | 89

Spring 2023 still not happy. To everyone else, you would assume their life is perfect but to themselves, they are the worst they’ve ever felt. I believe there is no way to reach rock bottom because there is no social standard of rock bottom. When most people think they have hit rock bottom they need to look at the bigger picture. Maybe there are still friends around who care about them or they are in good health or even people that look up to them. If there is truly nothing at the moment then you still have life experiences to look back on that will always be there. Thinking about the positive will help you get there. Hitting rock bottom is completely decided by you. In my own experience in life, although I'm only 14, I once thought I was at rock bottom. By looking at the bigger picture I realized how much worse my life could've been. I still had all my relationships, our house, and steady home life to be grateful for. I believe you can never truly hit rock bottom. The Carpenter | 90

Spring 2023 The Carpenter | 91

Spring 2023 valley: 1. a low area of land, like a break amidst life’s big storm. | Connor Hartka 23’ The Carpenter | 92

Spring 2023 | What Happened at Woodstock? | Hayden Robinson The hot sun tucked away into the horizon and the sky turned dark, along with the rest of us. Under the influence of random pills, full tone 90’s rock music, and warm beer that lay in the sun all day. I and the vast crowd of 250,000 plus people were filled with adrenaline like no other. We were less than amused with our “Woodstock” experience, and ready to make them pay for how we had been treated. Being a peace man and always opposed to violence, I was shocked by the way I was acting, it didn’t feel like me, But as I gripped the side of the concession hut, in the middle of the air base, I felt a feeling I’d never felt before. I ripped the wood plank off the side and threw it into a large blazing fire beside me. I climbed on top of the hut and looked out to see hundreds of thousands of people burning and destroying the air base with every right to do so. What went wrong? “What happened to Woodstock?“ I asked myself as I stood on top of the hut. It was the polar opposite of my experience 20 years prior. I still remember the sight of the hills. The sound of the groovy reggae music blessing my ears. I walk through the festival with not a worry in the world. Words cannot describe the sensation I feel as I lay on the ground. The grass blades between my fingers, a cool breeze blows through the holes of my tie dye threads, as I’m in a complete state of mellowness and happiness. Nothing could bring me down. The Carpenter | 93

Spring 2023 I remembered the day I heard about the Woodstock festival. My birthday was coming up and all I wanted was to secure a ticket. But when I brought up the idea to my mom about making the 13 hour drive from Georgia to New York for a festival with a bunch of adults, it made her shake her head with disappointment. There was no way she was gonna let her “baby” (17 year old basically adult) go all by himself, “Cosmo, are you crazy?” she said. She was always worried about me getting a job and going to college. But this was my chance to break free. I was done doing what she wanted, always trying to please her. National honor society, honor roll, I was done. This was my chance. When I arrived at the festival I immediately fell in love. Words cannot describe the initial vibes I felt being around such mellow people. I looked out at the hills and they hit me with a gust of wind, a big fan of peace and love touching my body. I was in a completely relaxed mental state and the happiest I’d ever felt in my life. The three days flew by and before I knew it, it was over. Back to school. Back to Mom. Back to Job. Twenty years later I sat in my cruddy old cubicle at M&T Bank. A commercial popped up for Woodstock 99. No questions asked, I bought a ticket. Two months later It was time. Time to relive my teenage memories, and finally feel the Woodstock experience one last time. When I arrived something felt off. The festival was being held in a US air base. When I walked through the gates it was a surreal moment. I was finally at Woodstock again. I walked up to a hut near the entrance of the festival to get some water, shockingly I saw a flier with the setlist for the concert. There were bands like Korn, and Red Hot Chili Peppers. Not the typical music that comes to mind when you think of a Hippie festival. I tried to buy a bottle of water but they were almost out. I handed the man a dollar and told him to keep the change. “You're three short,” the man said to me. I wanted to walk away, but my mouth, dry as the desert, would not let me go thirsty. The sun was beating down on my shoulders popping out of my dye tank top. So I handed him three more dollars and went The Carpenter | 94

Spring 2023 about. But far more disappointed with the prices, the younger people behind me had a harder time accepting this issue. The line grew longer and people were furious. It was 102 degrees outside and people could barely get shade or water; Woodstock was not off to a good start. After the first day, I felt very drained. I was tired and dehydrated. First thing I noticed when I woke up was the smell of trash and raw sewage. There was trash everywhere and the porta-potties were overflowing as fast as Niagara Falls. The people of the festival, no longer happy hippies, were running amuck. The second night had come around and I was worried to say the least. There had been some talk about how unhappy people were with how they felt the festival was. I completely agreed the festival was horrible, and everyone was ready to complain. After a few shows everyone was drunk and mad. I was standing in the crowd a little bit away from the middle of the wave of people. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a tower with hundreds of people on it that would soon be on the floor. Then came the fires. I’m not sure who approved but somehow they had been allowed to hand out hundreds of thousands of candles. These candles were not given to humans, they were given to animals. All home training was lost, and everything and everyone had turned dark. It was a feeling that cannot be explained. It was like entering the gates to hell. After hours of burning and destruction, the air base looked like a refugee camp. The people you could barely call people, they were zombie animals only being fueled by drugs and fire. With complete darkness and cruelty over the so-called festival, all was lost. I sat in fear and worry for my life, as the people around me had no regard for anything why would they care about me. BOOM! Flames flying, a huge black cloud took over the sky. The smell of propane and depression. I couldn't hear, I couldn’t see, I could only feel, it wasn’t good, it wasn’t bad. It was just a feeling. And that was Woodstock 99. A mini war The Carpenter | 95

Spring 2023 originated from the most peaceful place of all time. What happened to Woodstock? The Carpenter | 96

Spring 2023 ambiguity: 1. the quality of being open to the absolute extraterrestrial. | John Lauer ‘23 | Santa Brings Presents to All Those Who Are Good | Ory Docal Santa brings presents to all those who are good. He comes quickly at night, and will eat all of the cookies he could. Will Santa bring me gifts? He definitely should. I have been good all year, and haven't got in a fight. Santa brings presents to all those who are good. I hope the Big Man will visit my house in Glenwood. I heard Santa has a beard and it's white. And he will eat all of the cookies he could. First we take pictures, then we open gifts by the tree, right where Santa stood. Mom says we have to wait till first daylight. Santa brings presents to all those who are good. I hear my Dad say, “It's cold in here, bring me some wood.” The Carpenter | 97

Spring 2023 Santa must be coming soon. Oh, what a sight. And he will eat all of the cookies he could. We’re all in the living room, in our pajamas with the hood. Christmas is the best time of year; isn’t that right? Santa brings presents to all those who are good. And he will eat all of the cookies he could. | My Chats with the Departed | Robert Linthicum My place is the graveyard and it is where I feel free from stress and most at peace. But to say that it’s mine alone is a lie. It is a place that lives in the hearts of those with and without the breath of life who share in Linthicum blood. I often find myself sitting and talking to the graves of my ancestors and family. It’s when I'm in that yard of crumbling family stones that I find myself freed from my usual stress and able to simply just talk with the dead and relax. With a recently deceased uncle’s hat on my head, a controversial book from my Pop-Pop’s library in my hand, and heavily salted cookies of my dead Nana’s sodium filled recipe chewing in my mouth I find that I am freed from my usual stress and paranoia. My favorite time to chat and sit with the ancestors is whenever I find myself on one of my aimless promenades through the town. Those ones with no particular aim other than to get out of the house and free myself from the weight of the world and the stress of academics. I often spend my time in the graveyard sitting criss-cross on the grass confessing my fears and ambitions to the stones of my ancestors and sometimes even asking them for help. As a catholic I uphold the belief of divine omnipresence through the Holy Spirit; but just as God The Carpenter | 98

Spring 2023 is more present in the tabernacle, I find that my ancestors are more present in the yard where they push up daisies than in my house, which has cradled the bloodline for centuries. The family graveyard has been a resting ground for dead Linthicums for centuries. The Earthen smell is fresh and the moss is perfect for lying, sitting, standing, or even rolling (not that I would ever roll in a cemetery). I sit there and think a lot. Sometimes I’ll even talk to the graves, not conversationally, but I’ll still chat with them. I’ll tell them something and then just sit quietly. It’s honestly cathartic to talk about any and everything with people who won’t judge or even respond to me. People who might not even be listening. But if they do hear my venting from beyond their shadowy veil then I’m sure that they're not judging me and are just glad that they have someone to listen to. Even if they may be partaking in the heavenly feast and have been spending the past centuries with God and the Saints I'm sure that they're glad to hear my voice during my visits. I never plan to visit the graveyard when I do go. It’s always during one of my walks or runs and on a whim. Just a split-second decision on my way home. It’s across the street from my house after all. Perhaps my visits into the graveyard are more dictated by the loneliness of the dead than by my aimless footsteps. Maybe every creak of the rusted gate and every plop of my soles into the soft moss is because of their desire to see a descendant, grandson, and nephew. There’s something magical about it. Something that eases the burden of life when my inner monologue finally goes quiet and all my focus is devoted to the scene around me. I can try to explain the series of events that always takes place as I slow and deepen my breathing, as I still my shaking legs, and as I sit myself down beside Pop-pop and lean on the moss of the tree beside his grave and enjoy the shade. Those peaceful sensations that I feel in the cemetery as I chat with the dead are sensations that have been felt by Linthicum for centuries, The Carpenter | 99

Spring 2023 by those who’ve visited and those who do rest in the sanctuary. All who’ve felt the serenity of the cemetery are bound by blood. | Penance | Robert Linthicum With his hands folded and head bowed, Father Laurence finished the last decade of his rosary in St. Francis’s cathedral of Cosmico, Washington. The song of the organ and murmur of the penitent occasionally broke the silence. They echoed through the cathedral as an incomplete symphony. The symphony complimented by the fading scent of incense and was occasionally interrupted by the pitter and patter by the doves and ravens on the statue-strewn roof. Laurence said his final In nomine Patris et Filii, et Spiritus Sanсti, amen and stood up from the mahogany pue. Instead of leaving the cathedral as he usually does after his rosary he went down into the catacomb chapel. On that day he was ordained to give his penance for his sins against the order and cleanse the inner sanctum of its filth. The awful screech of the rusted iron hinges filled his ears for but a moment before he was greeted by silence and a satisfying Earthy smell. The Carpenter | 100