Newsletter 2021 1st

CONVERSE TO INSPIRE OR MOTIVATE Conversations play an important part when you need to break the weak mindset and motivate with the ray of sunshine. People always feel the need to be better conversant at profession. But let me tell you, conversations with your children also is as important as your professional needs. Let me highlight a scenario where a mother is trying her best to motivate her son. This is a real story and not fictional. And I guess all the parents reading this will relate to them as well. Priya, a loving and caring mother was excited when she delivered a baby boy. She did everything what a mother does. She nourished and nurtured her baby. When the baby became a toddler, she made sure every night she told bedtime stories to her son. She made sure though the stories were fictional (most of the times), the values brought out is real. The toddler grew into a child. Raj, her son, has his own apprehensions. He always feels he is not as good as his peers. When others achieve success, he used to feel why he can’t do it! Priya: My dear son, we are human beings. No human is same. We all have our own strengths. We are like the 5 fingers in our hand. Every finger has its importance, isn’t it? Same way everyone is unique and everyone has their strengths. If there is any shortcoming we can always work on it and keep improving. Don’t lose hope my son. Never give up. You have it in you. You can do it! But Raj never bothered.

Raj loves cakes. So Priya decided to try baking one. Raj was excited. For the 1st time his mother is baking a cake. But… Priya failed. She wept in pain. All her excitement and efforts went down the drain. Seeing her sob, Raj quietly hugged her and said, Mumma, it’s ok. But you have it in you. You can do it! When Priya heard this her happiness knew no bounds. She realised even children can motivate you. Do you think it happened out of the blue? No, it was the result of constant conversation Priya had with her son Raj. Always converse with your children. You never know what they pick from you that impacts them. We all have cared less when our parents gave us their precious advices. But now we realise what they said is right- isn’t it? Same goes with our children. Today they may not realise the importance of our conversations, but a time will come when they will be thankful! Tip: Never base your conversations on fear or apprehensions. Converse to inspire or motivate. -by Preeti About Mentoring

You may not remember all the teachers you've had, but I bet there were a few who made a lasting impression. They may even have influenced who you are today. So what makes a teacher memorable? Students often remember teachers who were: kind or funny or brilliant or passionate. They remember teachers who cared about them. They remember teachers who were supportive or encouraging or saw something in them no one else did. They remember teachers who challenged them and made them think. And truth be told, students also remember teachers who were maybe just a little quirky (odd). After all, MEMORABLE TEACHERS DON'T HAVE TO BE PERFECT. You remember some teachers for the positive impression they had on you. Others are remembered for the wrong reasons – for being nasty persons or for being partial or for discouraging you from your best. Which type is the majority? Unfortunately, the second type. Here are a few memorable educators who influenced me as a person and a teacher. PAST Teacher 1 A Little Encouragement in grade 6

Sister P was notorious in high school, for she walked with a cane behind her back and her down the nose stare was very famous. I never thought much about language, though I studied in an English medium school. One day, Sister P stopped me after class one day and said, \"Can you help me take these books to the convent? Do you mind?\" I did not know what to say and was scared witless. I mumbled, “Yes, sister.” She was silent for a moment, and handed over the books. From the convent, she told me to meet her in the library the next day. And I lost my sleep that night because usually, such summons ended in severe punishment. What do you think happened the next day? The next day, when I entered the library with knocking knees, wonder of wonders, there was Sister P, with a beautiful smile on her face. She kindly told me that I should have answered ‘No, I don’t mind’ as an answer and then gave me Jane Austen’s Jane Eyre, a classic. I was asked to submit a summary the next week. I did so and was given Louisa M Alcott’s Three Little Women and the list grew longer. And I, was hooked to reading for life. Sister P could have corrected me or mocked me for my mistake in front of everyone else. If she had done that…I leave the thought to you. Before this, I did not have a passion for reading or language, but her kindness and asking me specifically to do all this changed me in a big way. Teacher 2

A Passion for Reading in grade 9 Sister T taught us English in grade 9. She had returned after years of service in Italy and naturally, her name became ‘Made in Italy’. But her classes were superb though she was not so great at class control. I loved doing grammar exercises and would complete the work ahead of time. And what would I do in the class? Read a book under the desk. During one English class, I was completely engrossed in a very exciting part of a book. Suddenly, I sensed something different in the class. It was unnaturally silent. When I looked up from the book, I saw Sister T staring at me, and my classmates, eagerly anticipating a showdown. What do you think happened next? I stood up without being asked to and threw the book inside the desk. Sister T, almost in a whisper, asked me, “Which book are you reading?” Thinking about it as the wind before the storm, I mumbled the answer. She told me,” I love that book. I know that you have done all your work, but Aysha, if I permit you to do this, don’t you think that the other students would misuse such opportunities?” The smile never left her face. As a teacher, she had every right to shout at me and punish me. Why didn’t she?

Only one reason – SHE RECOGNIZED ME AS A PERSON – A THINKING, INDEPENDENT TEENAGER WITH LOTS OF INSECURITIES AND INDECISIVENESS. SHE VALUED MY DIGNITY. Teacher 3 Trying to shine - in grade 5 Madam S taught us English. One day, she asked us to make a sentence with ‘flour’ (you have to pronounce it as ‘flava’. She didn’t pronounce the word, and wrote it on the board. Eager to impress, I jumped and said, “Ma’am, the flour fall on the floor.” It came out as ‘The floor fell on the floor’. I stood there proudly, waiting for praise. What followed was this- she used me as an example for pointing out wrong pronunciation, wrong tense and generally, bad English. She never paused to think about the ingenuity of using flour and floor in the same sentence. I haven’t forgotten her too. But do you think I keep in touch with her? Teacher 4 I hate Hindi – grade 9 Madam E taught us Hindi in grade 9. She considered herself a joke master and of course, we were ready to laugh. The usage of kaa, kae, kee, koo was always a puzzle to me. And I guess I asked one time too many for clarification. The reaction - “What do you do at home? Do you do all the housework? Do you spend

time chatting with your boyfriend? Shall I talk with your mother and find time for you to study at home?” The end result – I gave her the name Eliyamma (Mother rat) and developed a lifelong hatred for Hindi grammar. I haven't forgotten her too. The Present WHAT THIS LED ME TO DO? Saving a Student's Dignity X had joined the school in class 4. He was loud and disruptive, and it was even clear to the kids that most teachers didn't like him. Teachers would yell at X or send him out into the corridor when he started acting up. So the first time X told me that he hadn’t done his homework, the class watched for the usual fireworks to start. How do you think I reacted? But I went over to X, and spoke to him so softly that only he could hear what I said. Whatever it was, X put his head down and stopped talking. He didn't do the homework, but he was quiet. The next time X erupted, I did the same thing. I didn't get mad and I didn't yell; I just spoke softly. Eventually the outbursts stopped. I remembered Sister T when I became a teacher myself and was faced with a challenging student. I now understand that her actions were about saving a student's dignity. This worked for Sister T and it worked for me.

Students Weigh In When I asked my students, it was clear that what makes a teacher memorable hasn't changed much over the years. 1) \"I love my ___________ teacher,\" a seventh grader told me recently. \"She's funny and she gets that we have a lot of other subjects besides _________, but she makes you want to do your __________ first.\" 2) A grade 5 student who found her first year of middle school a little challenging said, \"I was really lucky because my ___________ teacher is so patient. If you can't get your book out in time, she doesn't get mad. She just helps you.\" 3) I will never forget Y. He always prepared ahead of the class and corrected my pronunciation of ‘despicable’. It was the season of the ‘Despicable Me’ movie. My EGO told me to shut him down, but then I thought of ‘Mother rat’ and how I remembered her. I didn’t want to become another ‘Mother rat’. So, swallowing my pride, I told him I was not sure and asked Google. Then I applauded him for his enthusiasm and wrote the word ‘ENTOURAGE’ on the board. I asked the class to pronounce it correctly. No one could. End result – everyone’s dignity was saved. 4) J and I of grade 7 are well known for their wise cracking. When I told the class the story of how I carried a snake to

school in a bottle, J openly challenged me. He told me that I was lying. (the class was about stereotypes – my point was to prove that girls are brave and it is the society that pictures them as cowards) How do you think I reacted? I could have flared up and could have shouted at him for being disrespectful. Instead of that, I turned the tables on him. I explained to the class that J was doubting me because I was a female and this was the best example of stereotyping. The girls and the majority of the boys backed me and the result was a very healthy debate. They started quoting from the text and life and the topic was taken care of. Being kind, being interested, being passionate about your subject, AND JUST CARING ABOUT YOUR students/mentees are qualities that students still think make a teacher memorable. And if you're a little quirky, that's OK too. YOU SHOULD BE A LITTLE QUIRKY AND ACT IN UNEXPECTED WAYS. IN SHORT, YOU SHOULD BE LIKE A GOOD SUSPENSE MOVIE. Every mentor is a teacher, but all teachers are not mentors. Are you ready to find the mentor in you? - By Ayesha

Conversation: A win-win game It was hot, humid & sweaty evening. I am waiting at the terminal (P), of the Mumbai airport. I removed the book “Who will cry when you die by Robin Sharma” to read. I was going through the chapter number 2, “everyday be kind to the strangers”. And, just as I brought the book down me from eye view. I saw a middle- aged lady, sitting opposite to me. She was courteous, well dressed even for a travel. I was watching her keenly. She put her hand deep down, and started to search. She removed her hand, in frustration & anger whispered in frustration,” Where is the charger”. It was clear to me that she had missed her charger. As what I read in the book, “Be kind to the stranger”. I jumped in the middle of her ordeal. “Miss, can I help you, it seems you need a charger for your phone”. “Oh, yes, do you have one”. Oh yes”, I put my hand in the bag. I moved, left & right. I realize,” I cannot help the stranger, because, I have left my charger at home”. But, not to worry; I am aware of forgetfulness, so I had a power bank in reserve. I offered her, she plugged it in. “What are you doing in Mumbai”. She asked me while plugging in the charger. “Home”, I said. “What are you doing in Mumbai”. I asked. “Brother’s place, had some work at my native place i.e., Mangalore, wanted to say hi to my brother before going to Muscat”. “What is in the box”, she asked pointing towards this box. “Oh, well, this is the box that I purchased at a charity event, where the school children wrote quotes, proverbs on the cards”. “What to do with these cards”, she asked. “Well, kids told me, it’s a game, hold your thought & shuffle the cards, draw one, your thoughts will be on the card”, I told her. “WOW, that is amazing”, she exclaimed.

“Well, can we play this, can you hold a thought & see if it works”, I requested her. She was, a bit hesitant. But then, she agreed. She closed her eyes as if she was holding a thought, opened & drew a card. “Please read what is on it”. She was frozen, paused, & tears began to flow through her eyes. I was shocked, on what happened, what was written. Tears were rolling on her cheeks, I felt as if the floodgates of past memories have opened. She turned the card out,” forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing”. I was still dumbfounded, on what that meant to her. “Have a sip of water miss”, I offered a bottle of water. She wiped her tears & said, “whatever the kids told you. They were right.” She took a deep breath & said,” Remember I told you, I had some work in Mangalore”. I nodded my head.” That small work was my husband’s funeral”. Now, I was frozen. “I am so sorry mam, you do not have to do this, it is okay”. ‘No, I need to tell you this. My husband was a great soul. An amazing husband, great father & super friend. He passed away few weeks back because of cardiac arrest. We flew down his remains to Mangalore for is last rites”. Her eyes were flooding with tears of pain, her breathing was uneven. She sipped water took a long breathe & said,’ “After the funeral, I stayed over for few days at our home in Mangalore. I did not shed a tear from the moment he passed away till his last rites. I was in shock. My son told me to go out and water the plants, as it might help me. I love gardening. As I was tending to the plants, I saw a neighbor passing. He stopped by, gave me a strange, doubtful look & asked,” are you not sad that you lost your husband. It seems you are happy to lose him. Does anyone wear such short clothes during mourning?” Before I could say anything, he walked away. I felt so bad on being judged because of my clothes. I was wearing 3/4th shorts & T shirt. That was enough for the society to judge that I was not sad. I told this to my son, he

wanted to go & ask this man, what his problem is. But I stopped him. This happened last week. I could not sleep, eat or rest. I was constantly being tormented by other’s doubt. Then, again more pain & grief. Your card gave me the answer, “forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing”. The universe wants me to forgive them, because they really do not know what I am undergoing. Thank you so much. Can I keep this card”? She asked. “Keep this box. It is for you. Gift from universe. Use always when in doubt, pain.” Announcements happened; we boarded the flight. She was quite far from my seat. When we got down at Muscat, she found me. I helped her spotting her bag from the luggage wheel. I could see that she was a different being at Muscat airport to what she was at Mumbai. Pain has faded away; forgiveness has taken its place. I never got a chance to ask her name, nor did she ask mines. When I reached home at Muscat. I opened my bag, and just at the mouth of my bag was this card. I do not know when she slipped this card. The card read, Let us be kinder to one another. Everyone is fighting a battle that you do not know. From the same box. From that day, I realized the power of conversation with strangers. You may find your answer or you may help them find theirs, either way it’s a win- win game. -by Abhishek

CONVERSATION- A MEDIATER BETWEEN YOU AND THE WORLD Is conversation important in our lives? I would give it a “YES”. Each and every living creature on this earth has to converse with the other to let the other know about its thoughts. It is only that the conversations differ in its patterns and styles depending upon the creatures. For eg: Different animals have their own different style of conversation with each other. Same goes with the birds, microbes, etc. In the same way we humans have our own styles of conversing with the other humans. During any conversation there main two parties involved. One is the encoder who is the sender of the message and the other is the decoder who is the receiver of the message. When the decoder i.e. the receiver understands the message that is the time when the conversation is said to be completed. So you see the sender and the decoder are the most important persons for a conversation. Whenever we have any conversations with the people around us they should be able to grasp and understand it without which, whatever we speak will be considered baseless and foolish. Conversations differ based on different situations. In our day- to- day lives we have conversations with so many people we come across on many topics. But there are some situations wherein we need to improve our art of conversation which is equally important. This is because it gives meaning and an outcome to our conversations. There exists four types of D’s in conversations:

1) The first is “Discourse”. Its purpose is to deliver the right information to the decoders. 2) The second is “Dialogue”. Its purpose is to exchange information and build relationships. 3) The third is “Diatribe”. Its purpose is to express emotions, browbeat or inspire. 4) The fourth is “Debate”. Its purpose is to win or convince. So here you see that all these are technical aspects of conversations. But these are to be kept in mind while having conversations with the people and are also interconnected with the art of conversation. Whatever we speak is to thing and speak. To think and speak is the important part of the art of conversation. - Janet Fernandes

The Art of Conversation- Techniques involved The art of conversation is like any art, is a skill of elegance and creative execution. When it comes to the art of conversation, we have all met people who seem to have the knack for it. They can talk to anybody, about any thing and they seem to do with complete ease. And while it’s true that these are those who are born with the gift of speaking luckily, for the rest of us, conversation skills can be developed and mastered. 1. Understanding the intention Conversation is a form of communication, however every act of communication will have an intention. This intention can be fulfilled only if we learn the art of communication effectively. We communicate with people mainly for the following reasons: • To give or receive information • To get jobs done • To make them appreciate our views • To express our concern for them • To build up relations • To express our feelings • To avoid misunderstandings 2. Planning of the facts, figures and ideas Understanding of the purpose should be followed by proper planning of facts, figures and ideas to be presented. If you make a mistake in this regard you may just beat around the bush without making an impact on the listener. Proper planning has something to do with your confidence too. It makes you confident enough to present the idea systematically before the listener. 3. Preparing the listener

The next step is to ensure that the listener is physically, mentally and emotionally prepared to listen. There is no point in communicating when his attention is elsewhere. You should ensure that the physical setting is appropriate and he is looking at you when you communicate. One of the easy methods to get the attention of the listener all through the conversation is to maintain proper eye contact. Psychologists argue that approximately 80% of the input to the brain of the listener is fed through the eyes. As a general rule it is advisable to establish eye contact with the listener for 50-60 % of the total time for which we communicate . Added advantage of looking at the listener is that we get the non-verbal feedback from the listener based on which we can moderate our further communication. 4. Style and language of communication Communication should be clear and to-the point. Unnecessary repetitions, details and information should be avoided. The major danger with the details is that in the process the real message gets either missed out or diluted. Speaking enthusiastically with good facial expressions creates interest in the listener. A dull face with tensions creates in the listener a negative opinion on the communicator. Your language should be simple and beautiful. The words have to be used to express the ideas; not to impress the listener about your word power. You should always keep in mind the standard of the listener. While communicating to a common man, you should not use scientific or professional terms. You will communicate the idea only when you make things simple and less complicated. Short sentences with words of common use and personal references are easily understood. 5. Feedback from the listener The listener may have a different cultural background, outlook and upbringing environment. Hence his perception of message may be

different from what the communicator really conveys. The best way to minimize this gap is to ask for feedback from the listener. This can be done in following ways: 1. Wherever possible and permitted, you may ask the listener to repeat the message in his own language and style. 2. You may ask a related question to confirm that the message has been understood. Body gestures of the listener to repeat the message in his own language and style. 3. Body gestures of the listener can give a clue that he has understood the message. Without the feedback from the receiver to the communicator, the conversation cycle is incomplete. 6. Concluding in style Any conversation should have an introduction, text and conclusion. Before actually conversing the matter, it is better to inform the subject on which you are going to speak or discuss. This is called introduction and it helps the listener to get mentally prepared to listen. In the second part known as text you will explain the details of the subject. Finally we should summarize or conclude. If any action is desired from the listener, it can be informed at this stage. Conversational style can be developed and mastered. More than science, it is an art. -by Bromine

The Art Of Conversation “To start a conversation is the key to an effect communication.’’ Well Starting a conversation is a bit tuff, but when you start it… its not that difficult to speak. Well we all have a starting trouble to speak up isn’t it? Its like when you try to start a 1990’s vehicle in 2021 it will be have a starting trouble, the same case some human beings like us have. When a baby is put in a swimming pool it knows how to swim and survive but it doesn’t know the how to swim in style like professionals. Yes! Swimming professionals learn some styles to be professional swimmers, so are we… we try to start a conversation in a professional way but end up doing something else. Not 100% of people start a right conversation but 75% of them who are a toastmasters can start a right conversation. Talking to a known person will be easy but talking or starting to start a conversation with a stranger might not be that easy. While conversing we are trying to communicate the message or spread the message to known people. Conversation doesn’t mean spreading valuable messages only but it includes asking someone his/her personal information, asking for the correct direction etc. A conversation may lead to anything like political,Non – political, discussion about automobiles or mobile phones etc. Starting a conversation might be necessary for strangers as they don’t know each other and might need help for directions or any other things. So the Art of conversation has plenty of things to discuss among people when they meet and starting a right conversation with the right person can lead to many other different topics while having a conversation.

So start talking to strangers and be friends with them so that you can start a right conversation. -Gokul