Snapshot Autobiography

NOVEMBER 4, MY LIFE 2000 ALL THE DANK MOMENTS ISSUE 1 $9 AND ALL THE RANK MOMENTS NOLAN CAREY

TABLE OF CONTENTS01 MY BIRTH STORY02 GO KART INCIDENT03 LEGO BUIILDING04 CAR CRASH

MY BIRTH STORYEver since the beginning it hasn’t beeneasy. Childbirth was no simple or pleasanttask for my mom. When my mom was inlabour, I wouldn’t come out and it got sobad that I stopped breathing and thehospital was in code blue. This meansbasically no breathing. So my mom had toget a c-section. My dad ran down the hallbehind my mom and I and the doctorsand then they threw iodine or somethingalong those lines, it was red on my momsstomach. They pulled me out and thenput my mom back together. They racedme over to a me over to a table and gotme breathing, I hadn’t taken a breath in aminute, 2 doctors got me breathing andcrying. Meanwhile they were getting mymom breathing again since we were bothin bad shape. Then after everything hadsettled down my dad was standing inbetween the two of us and said “look atthe size of bis feet” they looked almost asbig as my legs, so everyone startedlaughing, which was kind of an ice breakerin the room, but my mom was still out ofit. Me and my mom then spent three daysin the hospital together 7

One day my sister found this wooden gokart beside this dumpster. I was 6 she was9. One day I was playing with it on a small WOODEN GO-KART STORYhill and testing how it all worked. It wasbehind a garbage can and we brought ithome. Then we tested it on the small hilloutside of our house to see how the brakesworked and how well it handled. After weknew all the specs and details, and knew ourparents would be gone, we convinced ourbabysitter to let us take it down the big hill.Imagine the hill as steep as the one on the parkway. We had all the neighbourhood kidsthere hyping us up. I was in the front of the go kart, my sister was in the back. We wentdown the hill, the babysitter following us in her bike. We noticed we were picking up tomuch speed, so we applied the breaks and found out actually only one side worked. Sono joke, we swerved left straight into a truck. My sister was a little cut up, although not asbad as me since I was in the front. I dented and sliced open my head, had to black eyesand some cuts and bruises. For whatever reason the babysitter thought I was ok anddidn’t take me or my sister to the hospital, despite having a dent and slice in my head. Ialso had black eyes, a swollen head and was beat up. All she did was put me in a bathtub… I was lucky to be alive after smashing into the vehicle with no helmet or somethingon. My dad was out of town for 5 weeks, and my mom was panicked.

LEGO BUILDINGWITH MY DAD My parents bought me a very expensive lego ship I had always wanted.At the time my parents couldn’t really afford the lego ship, but I really wanted it and my parents eventually caved in and bought it.This ship was like 1800 pieces.When we got home with the ship, I went to the corner of my parents room and dumped the box of lego. I spent two hours organizing the lego. I worked day after day on this lego ship, it took my dad and I three days to complete.This is one of my most fondest memories. I loved building lego because it let me showcase my creativity and I remember it was a great bonding experience between us. Side note, I once had one of my lego creations shown in legos magazine.After I was done the ship, I put it in my room near the door. Not only twenty minutes after it was completed it, my sister came around the corner and she says she’s “accidentally” stepped on the ship and destroyed it, I was so mad I almost killed her. 7

CAR CRASHBREAKING MY ARM One day I was in a car, pretty much like any other day, and my dad and I got into a really bad car crash. I ended up having twocompound fractures in my wrist. I was rushed to the emergency roomto get my arm re-straightened. After it was straight again, I had to getnine screws and two metal plates in my wrist. I kept it short because everyone has heard this story a million times. Corporeae ob in tollentur dubitarem. Qui affirmo rom volebam aliquot disputo publice obscure.

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