Flame: You

zeneath I judged your intentions and actions I mind my pain over again. It never crossed my mind that you are hurting too. I lost myself and I lost you too. Now seeing you from afar makes my heart ache. I cannot find the courage to come near you. I am afraid we’ll hurt each other. But I am longing the days when we love each other.

You, who melted the ice coating my fragile heart. Would you believe me then if I tell you that you’ve broken the barriers of my protected heart? That if I pluck out the stars for you, offer the world, and ask the universe to favor us -- would you believe that is how much I love you? That my love for you is beyond incomparable and beyond the mystery of the existence of the universe. words I aliceinneverland art I @dyanraerapacon

That this frozen heart has been aroused by your little chuckle, your eyes that smile, and the warmth you radiate when I look at you. That I would continuously love you, consistently choose you, even in the after life or if multiverse exists. I would constantly wish upon the falling stars that it should be us until this galaxy fades to nothing. Would you let me love you then?

one day One day I’ll meet you Full of courage and wisdom On that day I’ll be the happiest One day I’ll see you at your best Without any regrets of the past On that day I’ll be the proudest words I annie photo I @clarkjustinegaliza

One day you’ll get there Everything you’ve prayed of On that day I’ll see myself in you Soon Just another day passed Wait a little bit more One day, myself....

fragile love I was afraid that we’ll be one of those who misses each other their entire life. But now there is a border of silence between us and the calmness of the sea waiting across the skyline for a response. words I jhiandenveraspili photo I @clarkjustinegaliza

Between the line in the sand you suddenly realized that what you regret was not the lost love but the lost future. And not what had not been but what would never be. Do we really love each other in a way that leaves no regrets? That when you go away, suddenly the future we shared with seems a whole lot closer. So how strong and fragile a love can really be? Sometimes it is strong and broken. Do we really need each other? Is this a curse? Is this even love? Can we really hold this any longer? I guess, we’ll never know.

Everything is fading bl The lights in the desp Becomes more clou I can’t feel me n I’m getting t My cries are drowning o It is going to end just like t I’m breaking do Scattering, disappear Little by little in the d I wish someone help me o

tapos Sa kuwento ng ikaw at ako. Sa relasyon na ating binuo. Hindi perpekto, ngunit kontento. Tadhana na tayo’y pinagtagpo. Ngunit gagawin ang lahat, Dahil ito ang gusto. Upang sa dulo, Tayo pa rin ang magtagpo. lack pair uded now tired out this own ring dark out words I erikawinsletcorpuz photo I @rouselbulanadi

Have you ever wondered why you feel more miserable when you start looking for someone to take the blame? When things doesn’t go your way -- you find reason or yet, someone who would feel guilty for something you’ve decided and acted upon in the first place. Learn that the best way to recover from failure is acceptance. That everything you decide yourself, only you would be accountable. When the cycle starts from you, it will always end with YOU. Reconsider your mindset. words I myth photo I @clarkjustinegaliza



Everything is fading bl The lights in the desp Becomes more clou I can’t feel me n I’m getting t My cries are drowning o It is going to end just like t I’m breaking do Scattering, disappear Little by little in the d I wish someone help me o

childhood Alone in the outside, Watching the night sky, The wind makes me shiver, Whispering about to sleep, I took a deep breath, Feel like I’m in the depth, Drowning like in a water, Makes me want to kill myself, One, Two,Three, Counting many stars, Wishing that tomorrow is my last, My heart stops like a broken crack, Slowly I’m hating myself, That I’m still not good enough, People always leave me, I don’t know why? Crying but smiling, Alone this night, Can someone save me, please? Save me from this trauma, lack Memories that I want to forget, pair uded But they always getting me fuck up, Just staring at the moon, now Waiting for the answers, tired But I’m tired of waiting, out I’m so lost, this I want to go home own ring dark out words I any photo I @larissajuan

With You, I’m Adept with Crisis Under the paradox of loneliness, how lucky I am seeking and finding certainty, Sensing those unbelongingness Shedding in a temporary abyss of reality Facing those demons I can’t even imagine, Neither you could possibly fathom, Excruciating pain and suffering, Merely profounding unexplained feeling Fighting egos and gossips Arguing relationships and hardships We face path to assume fortunate Remembering those ways keeping me awake Life wouldn’t be fair enough How ample we are to rely, At times it gets rough Our self will be there filling those lack. photo I @clarkjustinegaliza



Even at my worst, you’ve been there, putting me first. YOU always turn my tears and sadness into laughter and smile. words I haru art I @clarkjustinegaliza

YOU always try to bring color on my faded monochrome life. I’d be a fool if -- I’ll let you slip out of my hand, when my prayers have been answered, a person to cherish was gifted to me -- which is YOU, my beloved. I love you. Always.

sincerely yours, me You’ve been stuck inside a body trying to be perfect, You’ve been stuck inside a body trying to be loved my many, You’ve been stuck inside a body trying to look great, You’ve been stuck inside a body trying to impress people. You wanted to look confident, So you tried to be like someone else, You wanted to be that “golden child,” So you made decisions that were far different from your dreams. You carried your burdens well and with poise, As if none of it was heavy, You listened to the sharp words of other people, As if none of it was hurting you. Your heart wanted something else, But you chose other people’s choice, Your lips said “I’m fine,” But your eyes said otherwise.

Behind closed doors, You were drowning in your own tears, Trying to figure out how to make your loved ones proud, Trying to answer the question, “When will I ever be enough?” Then, you realized that you can never be perfect, Then, you realized that not everyone will love you, Then, you realized that some will still see you as incapable of becoming great, Then, you realized that some will never be impressed with you. I hope you’ll find the strength and courage to keep going, I hope you’ll find the peace and happiness you’ve been searching, I hope you’ll start doing what your heart really wants, I hope you’ll start being unbothered --- for real. Hang in there, Nothing lasts forever, Don’t lose yourself, I pray, this time, you choose yourself. words I orpheus art I pauleldrichdamo

i wish I wish I never tend to love you that much I wish I never, I never knew you before For I thought you’d love me just like I do But I was wrong all along Where I would definitely ignore you by those times For I believe how much you’d trusted me Because above all, that’s all what I need

i never I never knew that you’ll be my greatest downfall I wish I’d listen to myself before “Stop loving because all I get is so painful” I wish I never loved you after all. words I michellecurammeng art I @pauleldrichdamo

anino Nakaraan na parang Hangin kung magdaraan. Kailan ma’y hindi maiiwasan. Parte ng pagkatao, na dahilan, Dahilan ng kalungkutan at kasiyahan, Na hindi mawala-wala sa puso at isipan. Kamalian sa nakaraan, Husga ng kasalukuyan. Basehan ng karamihan, Kung saan ang iyong patutunguhan, Ang lahat ng iyong kakayahan. Ay hinubog ng nagdaan. Huwag mo itong pagsisihan, Bagkus desisyon ay pag-isipan Siyang magbibigay daan sa kinabukasan. Gawing lakas ang kahinaan, Ipagpatuloy ang nasimulan. Gawing inspirasyon at motibasyon, Ang mga karanasan Huwag kalimutan ang mga pinagdaanan, Iyong pahalagahan sapagkat Lahat ng ito ay may dahilan. words I erikawinsletcorpuz art I @justinvonlagoc



Everything is fading bl The lights in the desp Becomes more clou I can’t feel me n I’m getting t My cries are drowning o It is going to end just like t I’m breaking do Scattering, disappear Little by little in the d I wish someone help me o

pansin Parang pasan-pasan ko lahat ng malas Na gusto ko nang lahat ay magwakas Kukunin ba ako sa itaas Baka malabo na di ako makalagpas Mauubos ba ang aking dugo Kung palagi ko itong ginugusto Maaari ko ba ito ihinto o maaari muna akong lumayo Pero bakit ang hirap pa rin hanapin ang sarili ko Isang yakap lang naman ang kailangan ko Bakit tila walang nararamdaman kapag sila na ang kaharap ko ’Di ko dama ang kanilang sinsiridad sa aking pagkatao Walang salita at walang payo ’Di ako perpekto Pero marami ang nanghusga sa aking pagkatao Bakit ganito ang mundo Lagi na lang ako nabibigo lack Siguro pagod lang ito pair Pagod lang na tila gusto ko nang matulog uded Sa malambot na higaan sa dulo now Para hindi na nila ako ginugulo tired out this own ring dark out words I any art I @alvinbartolome

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3 Chapter Three: Will I ever be enough?

Chapter Three: Will I Ever be enough? Expectations from your family never end. It started when you were young, and it will never end no matter what you do. I kept telling myself that someday I would be able to prove myself to my parents, but it seemed like that would never happen. All the achievements I had since then were belittled. It will never be enough. I smiled a little bit before kissing my grandparents good night; my parents were still talking with their lawyer friends in the garden. Emotions drastically shifted as I entered my room. I sighed heavily as I entered the bathroom of my room. This day should be one of the happiest days for an ordinary student, but that wasn’t my case. I have a twin brother; his name is Sevi. We may be twins but we are the complete opposite of each other. He is outgoing, loving, and caring, while I, on the other hand, am aloof and rarely show my emotions to anyone except him. He is always at the top of the class while I am always the second one, and it’s okay because seeing my parents proud because their son is on the top makes my heart complete. I have always been a second choice, but it is okay. Whenever our father is scolding me, he is always there to rescue me. He’ll please our parents in order for me to be spared from their sight. He proudly said that he wanted to be a pilot, while I, on the other hand, said that I wanted to be a doctor and I’ll choose nursing as my pre-med. After that conversation, we went to our bedroom, but just before I opened the door, my dad asked to talk to him in his study room. “Why do you want to take a medical course? No one in our family has been in this field. Who will help you when the time comes? One of you should continue our legacy. You should choose Political Science instead of nursing,” said my dad with authority. “Why can’t I just choose the course that I like?” I whispered. “You should let your brother take the course he wants. Let your brother be happy. Take political science; if not, I won’t pay for your tuition fees,” he replied. “But Dad---,” “No more buts, end of discussion. Take it or leave it,” then he stood up from his chair and walked away from me. I was left dumbfounded, not knowing what to do. I felt disappointed, too, because this was the first time I’d ever voiced out what I wanted, but I could not even fight for it. “I don’t know what happened, but after that night, my brother said in the dining area out of nowhere that he really wanted to take up a Political Science course and was joking when he said he wanted to be a pilot.” I looked at him with confusion. Since we were kids, he was vocal to me about what he wanted to be when he grew up.

Chapter Three: Will I Ever be enough? Our parents were so happy when they heard him saying that because he would be continuing the legacy that our family had started. “Thana will be taking nursing then, dad, mom? I think it is enough that one of us will follow in your footsteps.” He looked at me and smiled widely as he said those words, but his smile didn’t actually reach his eyes. “Yes, of course. She can take any course that she likes. It doesn’t matter; you’ll surely be a great lawyer,” said dad, which broke my heart because even without their words, I am a second option that when everything is falling apart, I’ll take the blame and sacrifice myself. “Thana, are you alright? You seem to be spacing out,” said Zeneath as she touched my shoulders a bit. “I’m fine, are you? Should we spend the night here? I brought a tent with me, and I planned to sleep over. You can join me if you want,” I shyly uttered while looking at the two. Both of them agreed and set up the tent with me. Zeneath and Rue presented to buy coffee and food for us to eat. I was left here alone fixing my things. I looked at my brother’s grave. Tears started to fall from my eyes as I remembered how he made me feel loved, and no matter what happened, I would always run to him. I love my brother dearly, and I'll always be happy behind him, even without the limelight focused on me. No one asked me to step back for him to be recognized or for me not to steal the spotlight. I decided to do that because I like being in his shadow. Also, I am not used to those kinds of things. Maybe that's why I always make sure that I am giving the effort below my brother's effort so that I'll remain in his shadow. I guess I was too comfortable being in his shadow, and heaven feels like my world needs to be shaken up. We were in our third year of college, and he came and fetched me from our school. I waited for him in our school because we went to Manila and Bataan for our affiliation. I did not recognize him at all because he used our dad's car. The mechanic was fixing his car because he was upgrading it again. He did not leave the car; instead, he honked the car and lowered the window for me to see his face. His smile is contagious. I smiled at him, gladly put my things in the back, and happily opened the door in the shotgun seat. We were talking about the things that I have experienced during our affiliation.

Chapter Three: Will I Ever be enough? \"You are talkative when you are with me. You should learn how to open up to other people. I am not always here for you,\" he said as his eyes were focused on the road. \"Why would I need anyone when I always have you? You might not have said the reason why you took up political science, but I know in my heart that you did this for me. It might sound selfish, but thank you for sacrificing your dream for me. With that, I promise that I won't fail you, Sevi. I won't. No matter what happens,\" I said with too much emotion because it's been so long since we talked like this. \"I can see through you, Thana. You have sacrificed more than I have to sacrifice my dream for you. That was the first time I heard you say what you liked. You have always been saying yes to me, to us. This is just a simple thing. I will always have your back. I love you, and that won't change. I will protect you, always and forever.\" When he said those words, I couldn't help but cry silently. I smiled a little bit and turned my gaze away from him. After a few minutes, I noticed that he was driving too fast. I hold his hand to let him know I am getting scared of how fast he is. He held my hand tighter and kissed the back of my hand. A tear fell from his eyes. I am uncertain of what is happening to him or us. When I looked back, I saw two motorcycles coming after us. I did not want to panic, but I heard gunshots. I looked around, and we were in an area where no one was around. One thing is for sure: they were aiming at us. What do they want from us? What is happening? I am lost. It was chaotic: we could dodge them a few times, but my heart sank when a bullet hit Sevi in his abdomen. He is losing control of the steering wheel. I immediately grab my bag and look for the gauze and bandage that I have with me. I immediately put pressure on that area while crying. The motorcycles were already gone. Sevi stopped the car. Seeing him in pain makes me want to cry, but I can't. I need to save my brother. I immediately called for help and did everything I could and knew. When I was done with the first aid, he held my hand. He held it tight and tried to smile at me even if he was in pain. \"Smile for me, Thana. Please? Do not cry. I'll get through this, okay? I am sorry for making you cry or anxious. This is not your fault. Do not ever blame yourself,\" he said. \"Do not close your eyes, please, Sevi. I have already called for help. They are already coming to help us. What do you want me to do?\" I asked anxiously, because I could see that his eyes were about to close \"I want you to be happy even without me. I want you to choose yourself and not let your parents dictate your life. I am so lucky that you are my sister. I am the luckiest brother in this world because of you, Thana. Thank you for everything. I love you,\" he replied before he lost his consciousness.

Chapter Three: Will I Ever be enough? When we reached the hospital, he was immediately rushed to the operating room. I was left in the waiting room soaked in my brother’s blood. I don’t know how I was able to respond to the questions being asked by the nurse. The moment our parents came in, they immediately looked for my brother. They were told that he was already in the operating room. They came near me and asked questions that I could not answer. I looked at them with tears in my eyes. My mother slapped me for not being able to respond to her questions about what happened. The rest is history, which is still engraved in my memory. My brother died. I was not able to save my savior. When everything seems to fall apart again, whom will I run to? I did not just lose a brother. I also lost my best friend. They all blamed me for what happened to my brother. They never glanced at me anymore but never failed to criticize me and my efforts. Then we found out that the reason why we were being chased was that they thought the one who was inside our car was our parents. I cried bitterly because they all blamed me for the things they were responsible for. I was blamed for the things I didn’t do. I can already hear Zeneath’s cheerful voice, so I immediately wipe my tears away. I composed myself and glanced at my brother’s grave. “I’ll be okay, I promise,” I whispered. . “Weren’t you afraid of being alone here, Thana?” Zeneath uttered. “I am not; why should I when I have my brother here with me? How about you two? What are you doing here late at night?” I replied as I pointed out the grave of my brother. “I came to visit my parents, which is ironically next to your brother’s grave. How about you, Zeneath? What are you doing here?” asked Rue as she turned her head to look at Zeneath. “I came to visit my son,” she said as she pointed to the grave next to Rues’ parents. Then she immediately looked away from us. No one has ever said a word after that, but we all look at each other and drink the coffee they brought earlier.

Chapter Three: Will I Ever be enough? I don’t know how to react to the things that have happened to the three of us. We have been friends for the past few years, but we still know little about each other. That wasn’t the point, though; I feel so light when I am with them. We do not know the pains of our past, but we manage to support each other in simple things. Maybe it’s true that we all need to be sensitive to everyone around us because we all have wounds in life. I smiled a little as I sipped my coffee once again. Realizing I will never be enough for my parents or everyone around me hits me hard. I do not need to please them or anybody else because nothing will satisfy them. The only person that I need to convince that I am enough is myself. Life will never be fair to anyone. We just need to go on and move on. Take all the pain and suffering you’ve been through, and you’ll see how great a person you

trails of goodbye Looking at the stars in the middle of the night. Listening to music, making myself feel alright. I cannot find the words to express myself. So here I am now, sitting by myself. I cannot vividly remember how you left me hanging. What I can recall is the pain that I am feeling. I am not blaming you for anything. I just can’t help but do some self-pitying. Standing alone in the middle of the crowd. You left me, who’d I run to? It’s too crowded. I am lost because I am deeply hurt, wounded by your words. I don’t have any choice but to move forward. I I would be lying if I said I was not hoping you’d come back. But I need to let you go because I am already losing track. I cannot afford to lose myself due to that setback. I promise I’ll be better and won’t let myself slack. love, thana

love, t Acting tough is quite exhausting. All throughout my life, I am trying to be tough. But you suddenly came into my life You made me weak and vulnerable. I can be me when I am with you. I have a lot of flaws but you loved it all. You told me I can lean on your shoulders I did, and that was one of the greatest thing in my life.

thana We shared the pain and burdens. You made me realize that I cannot be tough all the time. All I need is you, all I care about is you. But you left me hanging... hurting. How can I face the world without you? How can I be tough again when you taught me how to be weak? I know I’ll get through this phase I just hope you didn’t leave me missing your embrace.

I have invested so much time, love, and effort for such young love to be betrayed and traumatized. I thought he looked like an angel sent from above, gifted to take care of me for the rest of my life. I was wrong, he was devil’s associate, to have me scarred and never be able to love anyone again.

How could you be so cruel? You could have broken my heart gently, in a way I know I’ll be able to recover. But why did you have to get me enticed with your sweet smile then leave me nothing but broken pieces of me and paralyzed heart? words I altF4 photo I @dyanraerapacon

dear someone I saw you laugh, i saw you cry I’ve watched you dry your eyes Your perfectly shaped smile I could stare at you all the time Those months that we talked It’s like i’ve known you in forever We shared music Hell, i even introduced you to my favorite song called “lover” words I @kin photo I @dyanraerapacon

Thanks for the heartbreaks that have become a lesson learned, and from all the scars you’ve left me as a souvenir, and the trauma that made me scared of letting people get to know even just a little about me. I am now setting you free from the hatred I have been feeling towards you, I am forgiving the one who broke my wings alongside my heart -- for I have found my salvation. Thanks to you, I found a better piece that would complete me. And thanks to him, I have learned that all men were not like you. I’ve learned to forgive myself, and he taught me how I could save myself. This would be the last time I am writing you, dear someone, for I have found my better half. Just me.

A letter for my younger self, I am sorry for all the times I’ve disappointed you. For all the heartaches and frustrations that I made you feel. For I have betrayed you when you were trying to feel better but I made things worst. For letting you battle alone when I have given up. I am sorry if I ever made you feel unloved and unwanted. photo I @clarkjustinegaliza

I did not mean to make you feel less and little. I did not mean to take the thin thread hope you’re holding into. I am sorry if I ever took away your smile and replaced it with a frown. I was breaking apart too whenever you’re feeling blue and\\ unable to know what to do. I was you. And I am sorry for trying to make you cease to exist. I’ll try to make it up to you. I’ll save the both of us. For the sake of the battles you’ve fought alone. I’ll love you, myself...more.

oma Kamusta ka na? Namimiss na kita Kailan ka magpapakita? Nasa lugar ka bang maganda? Maganda ba diyan? Okay ka lang ba diyan? Alam kong masaya ka diyan Pero huwag mo naman ako kalimutan Alam ko na maayos ka na diyan sa magandang lugar Nakikita mo ba ako araw-araw? Araw-araw na lumalaban para sa pangarap Nakatingala ako sa langit Naghihintay ng iyong sagot Sagot, kahit alam ko na hindi ka sasagot Sana man lang makita ka kahit sandali Kahit isang yakap lang sana ang aking maibahagi Dahil alam ko sa sarili ko na hindi na kita makikita Hindi na kita makikita dahil sa iyong paglisan words I yhn photo I @clarkjustinegaliza



Everything is fading bl The lights in the desp Becomes more clou I can’t feel me n I’m getting t My cries are drowning o It is going to end just like t I’m breaking do Scattering, disappear Little by little in the d I wish someone help me o

Some days often feel the same. But today, things would be different -- you are the master of your soul; you should choose to be happier today than you were yesterday. You have to stop insisting on negative thoughts, you have the power to defeat your inner demons. You only have to choose to fight back instead of succumbing to them. We are all battling with ourselves, we may differ on how we handle things -- but, we should choose what could help us win our silent battles. Honestly, only you can save yourself. lack pair uded now tired out this own ring dark out words I altF4 photo I clarkjustinegaliza

a rant of an 18 years old You’ve said i could trust you But you were the first one to break my heart How will i stop longing for care When all you did was pressure me? You’d always push me to my limits But why do i feel empty? Late nights of spacing out That i even lost count Shedded tears and wasted beers Words left unsaid because of worry Buckled up trained to be golden Ashamed of being a burden Now look what it got me; I’m lost, don’t even know who i am I know i’m your child but is it my only purpose? words I klei photo I @ellajaneramos



Everything is fading bl The lights in the desp Becomes more clou I can’t feel me n I’m getting t My cries are drowning o It is going to end just like t I’m breaking do Scattering, disappear Little by little in the d I wish someone help me o

glimpse of us Under the ocean of stars And in the river of thoughts I see the glimpse of our mem’ries Tell me, how we became strangers again? I saw you with the person you told me not to be jealous of Laughing like we used to Creating your memories like you never ruined someone’s esteem Do you remember US in her eyes? When you held her hands, does it feel like holding mine too? Does she give you butterflies in your stomach whenever she kisses you? How could you be in love with her while you hurt me? lack We built memories just to be strangers again. pair uded now tired out this own ring dark out words I wisdom art I clarkjustinegaliza