August 2022 Newsletter

August 2022 Volume 24 Issue 4 Learn Laugh Live Crewe & Nantwich u3a Newsletter Contents Page 13 Flags Page 14 Schooldays (2) Page 1 Chair’s Message Page 20 Sequence Dance Page 3 Quiz Page 23 Quiz Answers Page 8 The Big Three Page 24 Committee Page 9 St Michael’s Page 10 Poet’s Corner Fings ain’t wot they used to be……. We are are living in troubled times; Covid, Ukraine and inflation have all affected our sense of personal security and routine. In March 2020 the world changed dramatically, and we could not have foreseen that the impact of Covid would still be evident now, even in our U3A activities. In this message I want to address directly some matters that the com- mittee has had to confront in recent months, and which have inevitably proved to be unpopular with some members. Both at the AGM, at the recent Group Leaders’ meeting and through many other informal con- versations with members, we have freely explained the reasons for some of these decisions, but I will briefly revisit their rationale here. Historically, there have always been groups that have not been able to cover their room hire costs through the levy payments, but their deficit was always covered by the surplus generated by some of the larger groups. By January 2022 it became clear that the £1 levy needed to be increased to £1.50 from April 2022 to sustain the overall costs of room hire. This increase was approved at the AGM in March 2022, where it was also agreed that Group Leaders should no longer be exempt from payment of the levy. Even though passed by the members at the AGM both of these decisions have subsequently been much criticised within some parts of the membership. The projected levy income is based on the number of members registered on each group register and the as- sumption that those on the register will attend and pay, but over the last two terms it has become apparent that many members, who remain on group registers, have not returned to their groups, nor therefore paid their levies. (cont)

Even at the levy rate of £1.50 some groups are not coming close to covering2 their venue charges, and with energy costs likely to double or even treble over the coming months, we are expecting that venues will be raising their charges substantially before the end of 2022. We have to take action in order to ensure the continuation of all our groups, and over the coming weeks the committee will be engaging very closely with the Group Leaders to explore all possible solutions. As a first step we have set up a Working Group, led by Lynne Jones (Membership Secretary) and comprising three committee members and four Group Leaders, which will work intensively to produce proposals to ensure the continuing financial via- bility of all our active groups, and will report back by the end of September. In parallel with this Working Group group co-ordinators will be working with Group Leaders to identify and resolve their groups’ individual challenges. These challenges that we are addressing in Crewe and Nantwich are being faced by all u3as. We cannot change global pressures, but we can, acting co-operatively, agree a modus operandi which will enable us to continue our vibrant programme of groups and events. Certainly “fings ain’t what they used to be”, but we can grasp the challenges of the present to emerge as strong as ever. Judith Ross, Chair July 2022 Hedgehogs, Heat Pumps, Healthy travel and Much More! The Environment and Wildlife Conservation Group (EWC) has been busy. We have had some very interesting talks from great speakers. Richard Ortyl, a volunteer from the Cheshire Wildlife Trust gave us ide- as for making our gardens more Wildlife Friendly. Ben Wye, new u3a mem- ber, and a local councillor gave us an insight into active travel, around Crewe and Nantwich. He also took 3 intrepid members on a cycle safari around the local area. Ben Thompson, gave some very helpful tips on how to save money and energy when heating our homes. Our members have also taken part in the Big Plastic Count, and the Wildlife Trust’s 30 Days Wild Challenge. We planned 2 field trips during the summer. One to the Bernard Lovell Arbo- retum at Swettenham, which has had to be postponed until the Autumn, due to the extreme heat! And the other to Whixall Moss. (Continued on page 8—EWC)

Autumn Quiz (Answers on Page 23) 3 1. Which European countries flag is red and gold and incorporates an ea- gle in its crest? 2. What do the letters GI mean in US military terms? 3. Which colour moves first in a game of chess? 4. What animal’s skin gives us Morocco Leather? 5. Where can the largest cannon in the world be seen? 6. Which tennis ‘grand slam’ is played on a clay surface? 7. How many permanent teeth does a dog have? 8. What is the only English City named after a Saint? 9. In which Sinatra hit song did he sing “dooby dooby do” ? 10. Who was obsessed with killing Moby Dick? 11. Which scientist wrote his notes in a mirror to avoid detection? 12. GBZ is the international vehicle registration letters for which country? 13. What was the full name of Ronnie Barker’s character in ‘Open all hours’? 14. What drink was invented by John Pemberton in 1886? 15. Who was the first presenter of the BBC programme ‘Holiday’ in 1969? Barrie & Ann Marie Lloyd U3A Quiz Group This Morning on the Motorway. I looked over to my right and there was a woman in a brand new BMW doing 85 mph with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner. I looked away for a couple seconds! And when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane, still working on that makeup. As a man, I don't scare easily, but she scared me so much; I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked the meat pie out of my other hand. In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees against the steering wheel, it knocked my Mobile phone away from my ear which fell into the coffee between my legs, splashed, and burned Big Jim and the Twins, ruined the phone, soaked my trousers, and disconnected an important call. Sodding women drivers!! (George Jones)

OPERATION – BAG THE BIG THREE 4 The deafing explosion that lit up the sky over Tehran in the early hours of De- cember 1st 1943, was heard across the Iranian capital. It would surely have been noticed by Winston Churchill, who was a notorious light sleeper, over at the British Embassy, although he might not have immediately realised its grim significance.The previous night had been a late one as he had thrown a spectacularly party to celebrate his 69th birthday, at which he’d ended up, said a witness “dancing a gay and abandoned hornpipe” in front of his guests, Franklin D. Roosevelt and Josef Sta- lin. The “Big Three” leaders were meeting in the city for the first time to thrash out the details of the final push against the Nazis. But the historic Tehran Conference could so easily have been their last according, to an auda- cious attempt by Nazis assassins to infiltrate the critically-important Allied summit, and to kill its three top leaders. The Germans had highly trained renegade Russian commandos, and they almost pulled off this outrage, and clearly if they had been successful, it would have altered the course of history. This information has recently come from declassified archives of its former allies – particularly those of the Soviet intelligence service – as well as the testimony of those directly involved, in- cluding Roosevelt and Churchill’s bodyguards. The “Big Three” leaders, Stalin, Roosevelt and Churchill, made clear they would only accept unconditional surrender from the Nazis, the Nazi com- mand therefore decided that only removing them, could open the way for oth- er politicians who might negotiate peace. It was Churchill who had said that he and FDR really wanted a meeting with Stalin. Knowing this, Hitler demanded his intelligence chiefs make it their top priority to discover where that meeting would be. His preference was to kid- nap them, but his underlings dismissed that as impossible. The operation was put under the overall command of SS General Walter Schellenberg, a spy chief in SS intelligence. (cont)

5 The commander on the ground would be Otto Skorzeny, Hitler’s favourite commando after he carried out a daring raid to rescue Mussolini, from a mountain-top imprison- ment. Skorzeny, was dubbed “the Most Dangerous Man in Europe”, and he recruited some 50 renegade Russian soldiers who had been fighting with the Nazis. The idea was that, wearing Soviet uniforms, they would easily blend in with Stalin’s myriad of real guards.Armed with Russian submachine guns, their main job would be to hold off the Allied bodyguards while the rest of the team, German members of a feared special forces unit called the Branden- berg Division, would kill the leaders, he then considered the most effective weapon would be a bomb, and settled, ironically, on a British one, the Gam- mon Bomb.. The Germans had captured 50 Gammon bombs when the RAF dropped them in Belgium for the resistance. The crucial details about the location of the summit would finally be provided by the valet of the British Ambassador to Turkey, who offered to supply the Germans with photos of top secret British papers in return for £20,000. He had received a telegram message that the Big Three would meet in Tehran over a period of four days at the end of November. The Nazis were ecstatic at the news, as they already had a network of spies, safe houses and radio transmitters in the city. The British and Russians had occupied Iran in since 1941 to guard its oil reserves, and to keep open a rail link for supplies to the Soviets. Skorzeny himself had trained agents for Iranian missions and had recently sent a powerful tribal ally a solid gold Walther PPK,.The Nazis ruled out am- bushing any of the leaders motorcades as they had no idea when they would arrive or depart, and they wanted to get all three of the leaders simultaneous- ly. A spy was dispatched to reconnoitre the embassies where they would be staying and meeting. He discovered that the British, US and Russian embas- sies were the only buildings in the capital with their own supply of potable wa- ter, piped in directly from the surrounding mountains via ancient underground aqueducts. The water tunnels – wide enough to accommodate three men walking shoul- der to shoulder, could be accessed outside the city and, astonishingly, were unguarded.(cont)

Unfortunately for the Nazis, their intelligence operation had been fatally com-6 promised. One of the agents they’d sent into Iran had been captured, and revealed the operation to the Russians, the Russians soon began to join up the dots. The Red Army poured into the city rounding up some 15,000 German citizens and Nazi sympathisers and holding them in grim detention camps. The less fortunate were tortured, any threat to Stalin could not be countenanced. Back in Germany, Skorzeny finalised plans for a four-pronged infiltration starting on 27th November. Two 18 strong teams of renegade Russians, with an Iranian born interpreter, would parachute in first, dropping in separate locations in the desert outside Tehran, where they’d be met by friendly tribesmen who would then ferry them into safe houses. A six –strong team would drop separately the same night. Skorzeny and another five men would wait behind until the others had as- sured him that everything was safe. Everything was arranged with typical German precision, right down to SS General Schellenberg checking regularly on the weather at the parachutists landing sites. Sadly for him, he checked with a double agent on his Iranian desk, who immediately passed the infor- mation straight to Moscow. And so it was that the18-strong team of parachutists were the first to land, but they were not met by friendly tribesmen, but by Russian soldiers who shot many of them when they were helplessly descending from the sky. The rest were captured and afterwards taken to a blood – spattered basement cells in the Tehran, they were never heard of again. The 18-strong team was led by Hans von Ortel, a cold- eyed SS killer whose previous job was exterminating Jews in Ukraine. Ortel’s team landed safely and were met by their tribesmen allies with trucks and camels. However, their convey caught the attention of a sharp-eyed Russian agent, in Tehran. He wondered why Russian soldiers were riding camels and noticed the trucks had no Soviet markings. He and his fellow spies, mockingly nicknamed the “Light Cavalry” by colleagues because they rode around on bicycles - quietly followed the commandos to their safe house. The Nazis realised the game was up – Ortel was on his radio transmitter, frantically sending the codeword to abort the mission back to Berlin, when Russian troops burst into the room, and a ferocious firefight ensued. If there were commando survivors they did- n’t last long enough to appear in any Soviet prisoner record. The young agent who had spotted it all was later hailed as a Soviet hero. (Cont)

Skorzeny, was on the runway ready to take off with his unit, when he re- 7 ceived the radio message, he gave up, and the glory-hunting SS officer never admitted to having been part of the operation. The only remaining members of the commando force left in Iran was Major von Holten- Pflug and his five men. Their plane had dropped them 30 miles off course and by the time they’d trudged back to their proper landing zone, the tribesmen waiting for them had left. And yet they still had a crate of Gammon bombs, their auto- matic weapons (British Stenguns, fitted with silencers, huge amounts of am- munition and the knowledge that any captured comrades wouldn’t be able to disclose the full details of the operation as they hadn’t been told them. Churchill flew in several days later on November 27th, brooding about the threat from “determined men with pistols and a bomb”. The Russians swiftly told their Allies that they had killed or captured 38 Nazi parachutists and that, they were convinced they would be trying to flee into neighbouring Turkey. Even so, security was ramped up, with snipers positioned on the embassy rooftops, and a house-to-house search of the city. Roosevelt, whose embas- sy was on the outskirts of the city, was persuaded to stay in the huge Soviet embassy which was next door to the British embassy. Meanwhile, Holten – Pflug and his commandos had turned for help to the leader of the group of burly Iranian wrestlers who sometimes provided mus- cle for German spies. The leader of the wrestlers was bribed (using £1000 of forged British banknotes that the Nazis had created for a previous attempt to destabilise the UK economy) by letting the commandos shelter in his gym. On the morning of the following day, November 30th, Holten - Pflug gathered his men and finally told them what the Nazis had always planned.Certain that the only time could guarantee that the three leaders would be together to cel- ebrate Churchill’s birthday, they were going to assassinate them that evening at his party, taking place at the British embassy. Entering the compound through the water tunnel, they would pass through the garden of the embassy in the dark and with guns blazing, burst in through the dining room’s patio doors to surprise them as the trio and 30 guests guzzled champagne, poached fish and beluga caviar, and a giant birthday cake in the shape of a V for victory. Holten – Pflug said he would throw the first Gammon bomb. (cont)

Unless they somehow escaped in the chaos, it was going to be a suicide 8 mission. Holten -Pflug insisted they change into their German uniforms so their enemies would know who was killing them. However, as they waited for the wrestler allies to bring his lorry to take them to the water tunnel’s en- trance outside the city, they were overpowered and bound by a dozen oth- er wrestlers who wanted the £20,000 reward the Allies had offered for their capture. By the time they had escaped – thanks to the return of their inter- preter who shot their guards – it was too late to get into the embassy in time for the party (the Allies had, anyway, discovered the water tunnel plan from a prisoner, and were guarding the entrance. They spent their next night in, of all places, police cells after their interpreter bribed a pro-Nazi police officer to let them hide there. The policemen al- lowed them to shelter in his home the next morning, where they hatched a last-ditch plan to ambush the leaders motorcades, as they headed for the airfield, following the end of the summit, the next day.They could hardly do it alone but when Holten – Pflug swallowed his pride and again asked the wrestlers for help, they were again betrayed. Russian troops surrounded the house and told the Nazi commandos to surrender or die. Just after 1 am they chose the latter, detonating the German bombs together in that ear- splitting explosion that reduced the house to a pile of rubble. Stalin wrote to Roosevelt when he returned home “that fate has given me the opportunity to render you a service in Tehran”. As we reflect on those words, we realise what a great service was ren- dered. (David Cooke) (Continued from page 2—EWC group) Our plans for the Autumn include: 22nd September - a talk from Ansa on Re- cycling; 27th October - a speaker from The Woodland Trust; 24th November - a Members afternoon, with a quiz, Wildlife in the Garden photo display, games and refreshments. We hope to wind up the year with a Christmas meal in De- cember at an eco-friendly Pub. Next year’s programme is being planned, so please contact us if you have any ideas or burning issues you are interested in. We meet on the 4th Thursday in the Month at Wistaston Memorial Hall, from 2 – 4 pm. There are now some spaces available, so if you would like to join us, see the website for more details or contact Ro 01270 627127 or Gill 01270 618853 Gill, Ro and Carole

Visit to St Michael’s Church, Baddiley 9 During a talk at our U3A Archaeology Group last term a local church - St Michael’s at Baddiley - was men- tioned. As a result of individual curiosity and with the subsequent help and support of the Church Warden, Rob Vine, a visit to St Michael’s was arranged for the Art & Architecture Group. 19 members were able to join Rob at the church…. and thanks to his knowledge and in- deed love of St Michael's we had a very interesting and enjoyable visit to see a surviving medieval church…on our own doorstep. First officially recorded in 1308. St Michael’s has managed despite additions over the cen- turies to retain many of the original features including the original Chancel. Small but beautiful with its “painted” walls, wood beam interiors and interesting graveyard (Helen MacFarlane the first translator of Karl Mark’s Communist Manifesto into English is buried here) St Michael’s is well worth a visit… especially as it is Rosemary Walsom only 3 miles from Nantwich centre.

Poet’s Corner— The Nantwich that I Remember 10 Under the aqueduct on the A fifty one We see Nantwich Grammar school, second to none. Just left, the hospital on Welshmans Lane Now long gone, patients, Doctors and pain. Three almshouses once covered with thatch Now roofed with slates, not up to scratch. On the right, Marsh Lane, to Wrenbury it goes Built up with houses, rows upon rows Then left is the police station, long since closed down, Now moved to Beam Street, middle of town. On down Welsh row, Queens Drive to the right On the left, Wilbraham Arms a historical sight. While on the right, derelict Whitehall Not white any more, not there at all. Then nearer to town the great Cheshire Cat. Outside ain’t altered, I’m certain of that. Drive over the bridge, towards the town The Weaver flows under, if you care to look down A glance to the right you see Nantwich mill If it weren’t for a fire t’would be there still. On the right were some shops, I think there were ten Right down to the bridge, no Waterlode then. No traffic lights either, just drive straight on through High Street to Nantwich or turn left for Crewe. Then in High Street, on the left the town hall Knocked down in the sixties before it could fall They built a small Tesco, there on the site It didn’t last long, it just wasn’t right. Swinemarket, Oatmarket now merged into one The middle demolished, the character gone. Paper shop, bike shop and hardwear store Ruthlessly bulldozed, not there anymore. The Crown on the right, you simply must see Rebuilt after the fire of fifteen eighty three. Then Saint Mary’s Church, just off the square Has an octagonal tower, that’s very rare (Cont)

Woolworths and Chatwins: two chemists or more 11 The square was bustling, with folk by the score The bus stop by Smiths, three banks and a pub And down the wee alley the Birdcage Night Club Now at the end where two quaint streets meet You must turn right into Hospital street. You might be station or Audlem bound Or up Whitchurch road passing through Sound If you are you’ll then turn right, Into Pratchets row, what a sight. If on foot you can continue, just carry on Along cobbled Pillory Street, but the pillory’s gone In Pillory Street you can get whatever you need A Haircut, papers, even budgerigar seed There’s the library, two pubs and a dentist too And the hardware shop sells nails and glue. But yes we’ve passed Hospital Street a little too fast With interesting buildings built long in the past. A hotel, two pubs, The Lamb; . . . Boot and Shoe And the old Cheshire Hounds was still open too. A short distance further, the jewel in the crown, The fine Churches mansion, the oldest in town. Grade one listed, nearly five hundred years old, It made a over million when recently sold. Pratchets Row with terraced houses each side, On the right, Crosville garage where the buses did hide. Next Doodys factory, fine clothes were made there The stone masons yard, you just had to stare. Then on the corner, Station garage once stood Cars and petrol they sold, they were very good. Over the road the Railway Hotel, A fine red brick building, sound as a bell. Oh dear oh dear, so much I’ve missed out It’s a wonderful town when you’re out and about. I hope you’ll guess from the verses above, Nantwich dear Nantwich the town that I love. Martin Bourne

Poet’s Corner—Travelling Again 12 If you have had your Covid jabs and passport is up to date Then you are able to travel, so why hesitate Why take time to dither and ponder When you can jet off into the wide blue yonder I’m going with a well-known company With holidays for those of us who are older Their reps understand our winces of pain As we cope with wonky hips and frozen shoulders I’ve chosen my hotel carefully All-inclusive close to the harbour and sea. No mobility hazards, local bus stop close by Even a special lounge to enjoy our afternoon tea. Of course there are other bookings to make Travel insurance, taxis and currency to take A minder for Sophie cat and more. Make these a travel experience not an arduous chore. I’m a single traveller, expensive but I’m not deterred As I’m usually very happy in my own space. I try to wish folks a cheery good Morning Hoping to put a surprised smile on a strangers face Often guests tell me I’m brave travelling alone like that But it’s a chance to break the ice, an opportunity to chat. To others who might prefer to sun bathe and doze I tell how I explore by local bus for a handful of euros. There may well be Covid challenges ahead I’m a few years older and need a stick to get around But I’m a seasoned traveller with skills well honed. The worst case scenario will be my trip being postponed! Maureen Sawtell I asked my 91-year-old father, “Dad, what were your good old days?” His thoughtful reply: “When I wasn’t good, and I wasn’t old.” (ed) On the phone with my 93-year-old brother in Scotland, and I told him I thought it was time he paid someone to shovel snow for him. He suddenly grew indignant. “Why should I pay someone to shovel?” he demanded. “I can get my son to do it. He’s only 70!” (ed)

Put out more flags 13 I was in Guernsey in May. Just after their Libera- tion Day when they enthusiastically commemo- rate/celebrate liberation from occupation by Nazi forces in World War II and just before the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee Weekend. The island was awash with flags and bunting. Guernsey’s flags and bunting, Union flags and bunting, ships’ bunt- ing, Ukrainian flags, Guernsey parish flags, Guernsey’s own specially designed Platinum Ju- bilee flags, assorted national flags. Almost any flag would do. Guernsey folk are always keep flag flyers and as a Crown Dependency (along with Jersey and the Isle of Man) Guernsey is very loyal to the Queen but in May 2022 they excelled themselves. Flags and bunting were attached to the nearest palm or fir tree, or any woody vegetation. Strung along garden fences. Poles and boulders and any- thing else that would provide a suitable anchoring point were pressed into use. Festooned across houses, often at eaves or first floor level and frequently plunging down to the ground. Cas- cading down from a replica ship’s mast in the centre of St Peter Port. Even atop a postbox. Signalling God save our gracious Queen, good riddance to the Nazis and in addi- tion support for Ukraine. Hazel Stockdale One of the shortest wills ever written: “Being of sound mind, I spent all the money.” (ed) A trainee Ships Diver asked ‘Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?’ To which the instructor said: ‘You thick idiot, If they fell forwards they'd still be in the boat!! (George Jones)

The Happiest Days of your Life? 14 My Schooldays in the 1950s and 1960s – Part 2 This is the second of my three-part article detailing some memories of my schooldays in the 1950s and 1960s. In the March U3A newsletter, I noted that my time at a small preparatory school in Surrey came to a premature end in December 1957. This was be- cause my family was about to accompany our dad to hot and steamy RAF Changi in Singapore where he had been posted as a civilian adviser for three years. And it was to the primary school at Changi that my brother and I went in January 1958, with my sister going to the adjacent grammar school. One immediate difference between my school in the UK and Changi primary school was the teaching staff, with the bubbly extrovert Headmaster, Mr Burbidge (or ‘Bob’ as he was sometimes known out of earshot) being the complete opposite to the dour, severe Mr Fearn back in the UK. Burbidge practically brought the house down with his performance of the ‘Lord High Executioner’ in a production of The Mikado at the school - at which I was present - something which Fearn would never have done, although to call Fearn the ‘Lord High Executioner’ might have been apt! The differences per- meated down to the teaching staff, who were all on three year contracts from schools in the UK. I had three teachers whilst I was at Changi – Mr Farman, Miss Lewis and Miss Woodhouse - and I liked them all. (cont)

15 This is my class 3A in 1958/9 with Miss Lewis, and I am second left in the second row from the back. I remember a number of names from that class, but sadly I have been in touch with only two since I returned to the UK. The primary and infant school buildings – which opened in 1953 - were all single-storey and located on three sides of a rectangle with a central play- ground in the middle. The playground was quite large, as it needed to be in view of the numbers of children – 850 - at the school, and on each side were the obligatory storm drains which often filled up when it rained heavily. On one occasion, even the drains proved inadequate and storm water threatened some of the classrooms, leading to a hasty evacuation of the affected rooms. Each classroom had ceiling fans – which were essential for study - and doors which were left open during the school day. Outside each room was a part-covered stone corridor – which usually prevented us get- ting wet when it rained - and this corridor led to the assembly hall and Head’s study and staff room at one end of the complex. On one occasion, I found myself outside the Head’s study following some shenanigans on the playground, but I think it was the last day of term and Mr Burbidge was oth- erwise engaged, and by the time we returned following the break, the matter had - fortunately for me - been forgotten. I am grateful to Jules Lewis for sight of this picture of the school, which was taken after we returned home to the UK but was exactly as I remembered it. With the number of children attending the school increasing all the time, some ‘attap’ huts were put up at the top of a small slope behind the staff room, and it was in one of these that I found myself when I was in 3A with Miss Lewis. These were huts with roofs thatched with palm leaves, but with no windows, hence they were normally comparatively cool to be in, but a problem when the heavy monsoon rains and often fierce winds came in No- vember and December. I do not remember much about being in the attap huts, but – as temporary struc- tures - they cer- tainly survived my time at the school and I understand they were still there when the school closed in the early 1970s. (cont)

16 Being a British school, we tended to follow the school year in the United Kingdom, and thus had Christmas and Easter holidays, half terms, and a long break in late July and August. We also had short holidays for local festivals such as the Chinese New Year. The big difference was in the school day which started and ended much earlier than in the UK. Our gharry – a single decker RAF coach - would pick us up in time for a 7.30am start, and the day would then go straight through to 12.30pm when the gharries would re-appear in the play- ground to take us all home. One rea- son behind this early start was that the afternoons were seen to be too hot for British subjects to be working in, although one could perhaps be forgiven for thinking that it was no different at any other time of the day in tropical Singapore. There was a break for play in the middle of the morning when cold drinks were available, but school lunches were not served and the afternoons were usually free for other activities. Another big difference was that we went to school on Satur- day mornings, so six mornings of the week at school rather than five. I think we must have followed the UK curriculum at school, and there was certainly a focus at Changi on the ‘3Rs’. I actually enjoyed Maths and Eng- lish, and was quite good in both subjects, although I also recall that I often read books out of necessity rather than enjoyment, a male trait which I con- tinued into adult life! By the time I arrived in 4A, the focus was very much on the dreaded 11+ exam system which most children had to sit in their final year at primary school. At Changi, this was done through the Moray House test system and many afternoons were spent ploughing through workbooks at home and attempting to decide how long it would take three men to dig a ten foot hole if it took two men five hours. Multiplication tables had to be learned by heart, something which I have never regretted doing, and we had to be able to recognise and use the basics of English in our writing - along with correct grammar and spelling of course - again something which I have never regretted achieving in my work. The Moray House test system was used extensively in British Service schools and was taken in my case in May 1960; and a short while later, I found out that I had passed, along with many of my classmates in 4A, and I would be heading to grammar school in the autumn, although where this would be was not known at this time as we were due to return home in Sep- tember of that year. (cont)

The afternoons may have been free of curriculum activities, but the scho1o7l still had a part to play in what we did during some of our free time. I have al- ready indicated that I was keen on football, an interest which I inherited from my dad, and I was delighted when I was selected for the school 2nd XI. I played at outside left and thus had a number 11 on the back of my shirt, and although I would have preferred to have played somewhere else - being right footed – I was happy just to be in the team, and particularly when a talented lad new to Changi named Thompson took Seletar primary school apart in our first match and we ran out easy winners. Sadly, Thompson was instantly promoted to the 1st XI and - like a certain lo- cal Football League team - the goals dried up and eventually I found myself left out rather than outside left, much to my disappointment. The football teacher Mr Dyson was very nice about it, but I was not to return to the Changi team, and when I played competitive football later in life, it was in goal rather than the forward line. (cont)

Swimming was the other main 18 sport in tropical Singapore and every child was expected to learn to swim in their early days on the island. I learnt from a young Australian lady who was – let us say – abrasive to the point of downright rudeness, and I ended up dreading her lessons. But learn to swim I did, for which I have always been grateful. Swimming was an almost-daily activity for my family at Changi and I regularly participated in the galas which were held at the two swimming pools on the RAF base. Here am I at one of the galas, with my good friend Rob- ert Brown – looking exhausted – behind me. I could go on, but I am minded that there is much more detail on my time at RAF Changi in my recently-published book - A Changi Childhood – which is currently available to purchase through Waterstones Books, with all pro- ceeds going to two RAF charities. My time at Changi and at the primary school came to an end in September 1960 when we boarded the P & O liner Arcadia for the three week trip home. On the whole, my days at the school had been happy ones, certainly happi- er than at my preparatory school in the UK, but now it was time to look for- ward to life at a grammar school back in the UK, and that will form the final part of my article on my schooldays in the 1950s and 1960s. Martin Jones A Policeman stops a Man in his Transit on the motorway taking people to work. The Policeman says ‘Do you know the limit is 70?’ The driver climbs out of the van to be questioned and produced his driving license and insur- ance and opens the back door of the transit and shouts out ‘Did you hear that, 17 of you have got to get out’. (George Jones) Sign in a Pub in Plymouth which read: Men, No Shirt, No Service. Women; No Shirt, Free Drinks! (George Jones)

The Bet 19 A woman and a teacher were seated next to each other on a flight from Lon- don to New York. The teacher asked if she would like to play a fun game. The woman was tired, and just wanted to take a nap. She politely declined and rolled over to the window to catch a few winks. The teacher persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, “I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me five pounds, and vice versa.” Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The teacher, now agitated, says, “Okay, if you don’t know the answer you pay me five pounds, and if I don’t know the answer, I will pay you five hundred pounds.” This catches the woman’s attention, and thinking there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game. The teacher asks the first question. “What’s the distance from the earth to the moon?” The woman doesn’t say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a five pound note, and hands it to the teacher. “Okay,” says the teacher, “your turn.” She asks the teacher, “What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four legs?” The teacher, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his refer- ences, but finds no answer. He taps into the in-flight wi fi and searches the in- ternet, still no answer. He logs into the Encyclopedia Britannica and searches, but still no answer. Frustrated, he sends emails to all his friends and co-workers, but to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the woman, and hands her five hundred pounds. The woman says, “Thank you,” and turns back to get some more sleep. The teacher, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the woman and asks, “Well, what’s the answer?” Without a word, the woman reaches into her purse, hands the teacher five pounds, and goes back to sleep. Barrie Lloyd Two old guys, Fred and Sam went to the movies. A few minutes after it start- ed, Fred heard Sam rustling around and he seemed to be searching on the floor under his seat. \"What are you doing?\" asked Fred. Sam, a little grumpy by this time, replied \"I had a caramel in my mouth and it dropped out. I can't find it.\" Fred told him to forget it because it would be too dirty by now. \"But I've got to\", said Sam, \"my teeth are in it!\" (ed)

Discovering Sequence Dancing 20 As this U3A year draws to a close I thought I would reflect on my experience with a group I joined in October 2021 and the challenges in realising a long-held desire. I’m the type of person who would sit at the periphery at big family “do’s” (weddings, anniversaries, birth- day’s etc) watching the more confident relatives waltzing or foxtrotting their way across the dance floor. Not always perfectly synchronised and not without the occasional trodden-upon toe, but they clearly knew what they were doing and how they should be moving. I was jealous. I loved the music and yearned to be able to move to it like that but didn’t know how to get involved. Then disco took over, opportunities to dance “properly” all but vanished and maybe the chance was lost. I discovered U3A after I retired and what a revelation that was! So many dif- ferent groups offering such a wide variety of opportunities! I knew I didn’t want to do anything too intellectual, but something to keep the old body mov- ing would be good. I spotted “Sequence and Social Dancing” taking place at Acton Parish Hall on Wednesday mornings. “….we do mostly Sequence Dance, but also some Ballroom, Latin and solo dances. You don’t have to have a partner….” says the description. I wondered what that might be. I wondered about giving it a try but then the Covid pandemic put a stop to eve- rything – including the wondering – for over a year. But once a degree of nor- mality retuned in 2021 so did the wondering. I eventually plucked up the cour- age to poke my head through the door at Acton and was instantly and warmly welcomed by Rosemary, the group leader. It had been my intention to just sit and watch for a few minutes but Rosemary was having none of it! She had me on my feet endeavouring to teach me the steps of “Balmoral Blues” while I was endeavouring to avoid tread- ing on her toes. Other dances followed, with intriguing names such as “Mayfair Quickstep”, “Saunter Together”, “Valentino Jive” and “Sweetheart Waltz”, but I was content to sit and watch these, as I’m sure were all the other toes in the room. (cont)

21 So it turns out that Sequence Dancing is essentially Ballroom Dancing but to a set sequence of moves, a sequence that repeats several times during the course of the music. This is great because you get several goes at trying to get it right. And it also turns out that this is exactly what I was looking for – the perfect way in to proper dancing. I was hooked. It’s been wonderful on so many levels. Firstly there’s the dancing, which is just so psychologically uplifting. Then there’s the music, which can be infectious and you some- times find yourself singing along to an old classic. The type of activity is great too – it’s gentle exercise, both for the body and the mind, which is per- fect for those of us in our Third Age. And you can do as much or as little as you want: dance enthusiastically if you wish, or more gently if you don’t, or just sit for a rest and watch. Group Leaders Rosemary and husband Gor- don, both experienced dancers, are terrific, providing just the right balance of instruction, gentle encouragement, cajoling and praise. It’s not been without its frustrations though! Trying to memorise the se- quences has been a challenge, as has remembering which foot to move when, remembering to move the body in the correct direction (and hopefully in the same direction as my partner), but most importantly remembering re- ally hard to avoid crunching my partner’s toes! But with time and a bit of pa- tience I’ve realised that these things do eventually sink in and the need for toe splints recedes. The icing on the cake has been the social side of the group. Eve- ryone has been so friendly, welcoming and encouraging. At our last meeting before Christmas we had a wonderful Christmas Party combining some teaching, some dancing, some fun dancing games and a lovely buffet. Towards the end of the sum- mer term, and to coincide with the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee, we had yet another great party. And to cele- brate our Queen’s remarkable achievement we had learnt a new dance that had been devised specifically for this occasion – “The Platinum Waltz”. I was so im- pressed at the effort and contributions that everyone in the group made towards decorating the room, bringing colourful food and dressing in red, white and blue outfits. It was a really special occasion.Dancing is now sus- pended for summer – bring on September! Nick Smith

Rudyard Lake Strollers B walk 22 Rudyard Lake is over 2.5 miles long and is the largest straight stretch of wa- ter in England outside the Lake District. The lake was built in 1797 to provide water for the canal systems and in fact it is a reservoir and not a lake. The name Rudyard came from Ralf Rudyard who is alleged to have killed Richard 111. The lake gave its name to Rudyard Kipling whose parents first met at a party by its shores and they had such a love for it that they named their child after it. He went on to become world famous for his stories such as the Jungle Book and his poetry. A steam train runs a short way on one side of the lake starting near the dam at Rudyard village. Footpaths run right round the lake and the old railway track bed. So we proposed to our group if they would like to go there as an extra walk on June 29th, and we were encouraged by some of our regular walkers who wanted to join us on this five mile walk. The walk was centred at Hotel Rudyard for parking and lunch. Weather was kind to us despite the forecast of gloomy weather, and we had sunshine all the way round! The scenery and views were amazing. A couple of our members Neil Smith and John Meadows enlightened us with their his- torical and geographical knowledge of Rudyard lake including the North Staf- fordshire Railway company for the Potteries, Midlands and North West. A great day and lunch had by all. Sara Walker and Roger Beastall who are our joint leaders have said we are open to new members. If you are interest- ed in joining our lovely and friendly group as there are still a few vacancies left, then please contact Sara on 01270 618218 or Roger on 07742 744693 Submitted by Wendy Wilson. Photo courtesy of Steph Percy

August Quiz Answers 23 1. Spain 9. Strangers in the night 2. Government Issue 10. Captain Ahab 3. White 11. Leonardo Da Vinci 4. Goat 12. Gibraltar 5. The Kremlin 13. Albert Arkwright 6. The French Open 14. Coca Cola (Roland Garros) 15. Cliff Michelmore 7. 42 16. 7 (I V X L C D M) 8. St. Albans My grandson is a Vice President with the merchant bankers JP Morgan based in Bournemouth & is a keen cyclist. He has in the past ridden from Lands End to John O' Groats & ridden the entire border of Dorset in a day, both these rides for charity. He has resigned his position with J P Morgan & is now going to cycle solo what is called the \"Ice to Ice Challenge\" from the most northern tip of Alaska in the Arctic, through Northern America, Central America & South Ameri- ca to the most southern part of Patagonia to Antarctica a total of 17,000 kilometres. Upon learning he had left his position with J P Morgan he was offered a po- sition with a bank in Dubai, presumably with a tax free salary but has turned this down to carry out the challenge Why he wants to do this is beyond my imagination, but as you can imagine I am very proud of him but very concerned about the dangers he will face. Brian Rushbooke During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the director how do you deter- mine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. ‘Well,’ said the di- rector, ‘we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.’ ‘Oh, I understand,’ I said. ‘A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup.’ The Director of the Asylum responded that the correct answer was ‘To pull out the plug. (Would you like a bed by a window)? (George Jones)

Committee Roles & Contacts 24 Judith Ross [email protected] Bryan Roe [email protected] Marian Simmons [email protected] Peter Brook [email protected] Lynne Jones [email protected] Vacant [email protected] Neil Crossley [email protected] Irene Dixon [email protected] Ann-Marie Lloyd [email protected] Susan Steele [email protected] Adrian Finney [email protected] Nigel Bharani [email protected] Vacant [email protected] Notices Autumn Term : Starts 5th September Ends 16th December Winter Term : Starts 9th January Ends 31st March Levy All members of groups, which use a paid venue, are required to pay the full levy, irrespective of how many meetings they attend. There are 15 weeks in the Autumn Term. So if your group meets weekly for the full term, the levy will be £22.50. If your group is fortnightly it is £12.50 if you start w/c 5/9, or £10 if you start w/c 12/9. Group leaders—please ensure your dates on your group page are correct and that you inform the bookings secretary if you have to vary them mid term. Visit our Website— http://www.candnu3a.org.uk u3a National Website – www.u3a.org.uk December Newsletter : Articles to [email protected] by 22nd November 2022. Please do not send pdf files as I cannot easily reformat them.