Tuesdays-With-Morrie-PDFDrive.com-

["Think\tof\tyour\tvoice. \\\"And\tif\tyou\twant\tto\tcry\ta\tlittle,\tit's\tokay.\\\" Morrie.\tHe\thad\twanted\tto\tmake\tme\tcry\tsince\tI\twas\ta\tfreshman.\t\\\"One\tof\tthese days,\tI'm\tgonna\tget\tto\tyou,\\\"\the\twould\tsay. Yeah,\tyeah,\tI\twould\tanswer. \\\"I\tdecided\twhat\tI\twanted\ton\tmy\ttombstone,\\\"\the\tsaid. I\tdon't\twant\tto\thear\tabout\ttombstones.\t\\\"Why?\tThey\tmake\tyou\tnervous?\\\" I\tshrugged. \\\"We\tcan\tforget\tit.\\\" No,\tgo\tahead.\tWhat\tdid\tyou\tdecide? Morrie\tpopped\this\tlips.\t\\\"I\twas\tthinking\tof\tthis:\tA\tTeacher\tto\tthe\tLast.\\\" He\twaited\twhile\tI\tabsorbed\tit. A\tTeacher\tto\tthe\tLast. \\\"Good?\\\"\the\tsaid. Yes,\tI\tsaid.\tVery\tgood. I\tcame\tto\tlove\tthe\tway\tMorrie\tlit\tup\twhen\tI\tentered\tthe\troom.\tHe\tdid\tthis\tfor","many\tpeople,\tI\tknow,\tbut\tit\twas\this\tspecial\ttalent\tto\tmake\teach\tvisitor\tfeel\tthat the\tsmile\twas\tunique. \\\"Ahhhh,\tit's\tmy\tbuddy,\\\"\the\twould\tsay\twhen\the\tsaw\tme,\tin\tthat\tfoggy,\thigh- pitched\tvoice.\tAnd\tit\tdidn't\tstop\twith\tthe\tgreeting.\tWhen\tMorrie\twas\twith\tyou, he\twas\treally\twith\tyou.\tHe\tlooked\tyou\tstraight\tin\tthe\teye,\tand\the\tlistened\tas\tif you\twere\tthe\tonly\tperson\tin\tthe\tworld.\tHow\tmuch\tbetter\twould\tpeople\tget\talong if\ttheir\tfirst\tencounter\teach\tday\twere\tlike\tthis-instead\tof\ta\tgrumble\tfrom\ta waitress\tor\ta\tbus\tdriver\tor\ta\tboss? \\\"I\tbelieve\tin\tbeing\tfully\tpresent,\\\"\tMorrie\tsaid.\t\\\"That\tmeans\tyou\tshould\tbe\twith the\tperson\tyou're\twith.\tWhen\tI'm\ttalking\tto\tyou\tnow,\tMitch,\tI\ttry\tto\tkeep focused\tonly\ton\twhat\tis\tgoing\ton\tbetween\tus.\tI\tam\tnot\tthinking\tabout\tsomething we\tsaid\tlast\tweek.\tI\tam\tnot\tthinking\tof\twhat's\tcoming\tup\tthis\tFriday.\tI\tam\tnot thinking\tabout\tdoing\tanother\tKoppel\tshow,\tor\tabout\twhat\tmedications\tI'm taking. \\\"I\tam\ttalking\tto\tyou.\tI\tam\tthinking\tabout\tyou.\\\" I\tremembered\thow\the\tused\tto\tteach\tthis\tidea\tin\tthe\tGroup\tProcess\tclass\tback\tat Brandeis.\tI\thad\tscoffed\tback\tthen,\tthinking\tthis\twas\thardly\ta\tlesson\tplan\tfor\ta university\tcourse.\tLearning\tto\tpay\tattention?\tHow\timportant\tcould\tthat\tbe?\tI now\tknow\tit\tis\tmore\timportant\tthan\talmost\teverything\tthey\ttaught\tus\tin\tcollege. Morrie\tmotioned\tfor\tmy\thand,\tand\tas\tI\tgave\tit\tto\thim,\tI\tfelt\ta\tsurge\tof\tguilt.\tHere was\ta\tman\twho,\tif\the\twanted,\tcould\tspend\tevery\twaking\tmoment\tin\tself-pity, feeling\this\tbody\tfor\tdecay,\tcounting\this\tbreaths.\tSo\tmany\tpeople\twith\tfar\tsmaller problems\tare\tso\tself-absorbed,\ttheir\teyes\tglaze\tover\tif\tyou\tspeak\tfor\tmore\tthan thirty\tseconds.\tThey\talready\thave\tsomething\telse\tin\tmind-a\tfriend\tto\tcall,\ta\tfax to\tsend,\ta\tlover\tthey're\tdaydreaming\tabout.\tThey\tonly\tsnap\tback\tto\tfull\tattention when\tyou\tfinish\ttalking,\tat\twhich\tpoint\tthey\tsay\t\\\"Uh-huh\\\"\tor\t\\\"Yeah,\treally\\\"\tand fake\ttheir\tway\tback\tto\tthe\tmoment. \\\"Part\tof\tthe\tproblem,\tMitch,\tis\tthat\teveryone\tis\tin\tsuch\ta\thurry,\\\"\tMorrie\tsaid. \\\"People\thaven't\tfound\tmeaning\tin\ttheir\tlives,\tso\tthey're\trunning\tall\tthe\ttime looking\tfor\tit.\tThey\tthink\tthe\tnext\tcar,\tthe\tnext\thouse,\tthe\tnext\tjob.\tThen\tthey","find\tthose\tthings\tare\tempty,\ttoo,\tand\tthey\tkeep\trunning.\\\" Once\tyou\tstart\trunning,\tI\tsaid,\tit's\thard\tto\tslow\tyourself\tdown. \\\"Not\tso\thard,\\\"\the\tsaid,\tshaking\this\thead.\t\\\"Do\tyou\tknow\twhat\tI\tdo?\tWhen someone\twants\tto\tget\tahead\tof\tme\tin\ttraffic-when\tI\tused\tto\tbe\table\tto\tdrive-I would\traise\tmy\thand\t.\t.\t.\\\" He\ttried\tto\tdo\tthis\tnow,\tbut\tthe\thand\tlifted\tweakly,\tonly\tsix\tinches. \\\"\t.\t.\t.\tI\twould\traise\tmy\thand,\tas\tif\tI\twas\tgoing\tto\tmake\ta\tnegative\tgesture,\tand then\tI\twould\twave\tand\tsmile.\tInstead\tof\tgiving\tthem\tthe\tfinger,\tyou\tlet\tthem\tgo, and\tyou\tsmile. \\\"You\tknow\twhat?\tA\tlot\tof\ttimes\tthey\tsmiled\tback.\t\\\"The\ttruth\tis,\tI\tdon't\thave\tto be\tin\tthat\tmuch\tof\ta\thurry\twith\tmy\tcar.\tI\twould\trather\tput\tmy\tenergies\tinto people.\\\" He\tdid\tthis\tbetter\tthan\tanyone\tI'd\tever\tknown.\tThose\twho\tsat\twith\thim\tsaw\this eyes\tgo\tmoist\twhen\tthey\tspoke\tabout\tsomething\thorrible,\tor\tcrinkle\tin\tdelight when\tthey\ttold\thim\ta\treally\tbad\tjoke.\tHe\twas\talways\tready\tto\topenly\tdisplay\tthe emotion\tso\toften\tmissing\tfrom\tmy\tbaby\tboomer\tgeneration.\tWe\tare\tgreat\tat small\ttalk:\t\\\"What\tdo\tyou\tdo?\\\"\t\\\"Where\tdo\tyou\tlive?\\\"\tBut\treally\tlistening\tto someone-without\ttrying\tto\tsell\tthem\tsomething,\tpick\tthem\tup,\trecruit\tthem,\tor get\tsome\tkind\tof\tstatus\tin\treturn-how\toften\tdo\twe\tget\tthis\tanymore?\tI\tbelieve many\tvisitors\tin\tthe\tlast\tfew\tmonths\tof\tMorrie's\tlife\twere\tdrawn\tnot\tbecause\tof the\tattention\tthey\twanted\tto\tpay\tto\thim\tbut\tbecause\tof\tthe\tattention\the\tpaid\tto them.\tDespite\this\tpersonal\tpain\tand\tdecay,\tthis\tlittle\told\tman\tlistened\tthe\tway they\talways\twanted\tsomeone\tto\tlisten. I\ttold\thim\the\twas\tthe\tfather\teveryone\twishes\tthey\thad. \\\"Well,\\\"\the\tsaid,\tclosing\this\teyes,\t\\\"I\thave\tsome\texperience\tin\tthat\tarea\t.\t.\t.\\\"","The\tlast\ttime\tMorrie\tsaw\this\town\tfather\twas\tin\ta\tcity\tmorgue.\tCharlie\tSchwartz was\ta\tquiet\tman\twho\tliked\tto\tread\this\tnewspaper,\talone,\tunder\ta\tstreetlamp\ton Tremont\tAvenue\tin\tthe\tBronx.\tEvery\tnight,\twhen\tMorrie\twas\tlittle,\tCharlie would\tgo\tfor\ta\twalk\tafter\tdinner.\tHe\twas\ta\tsmall\tRussian\tman,\twith\ta\truddy complexion\tand\ta\tfull\thead\tof\tgrayish\thair.\tMorrie\tand\this\tbrother,\tDavid,\twould look\tout\tthe\twindow\tand\tsee\thim\tleaning\tagainst\tthe\tlamppost,\tand\tMorrie wished\the\twould\tcome\tinside\tand\ttalk\tto\tthem,\tbut\the\trarely\tdid.\tNor\tdid\the\ttuck them\tin,\tnor\tkiss\tthem\tgood-night. Morrie\talways\tswore\the\twould\tdo\tthese\tthings\tfor\this\town\tchildren\tif\the\tever had\tany.\tAnd\tyears\tlater,\twhen\the\thad\tthem,\the\tdid. Meanwhile,\tas\tMorrie\traised\this\town\tchildren,\tCharlie\twas\tstill\tliving\tin\tthe Bronx.\tHe\tstill\ttook\tthat\twalk.\tHe\tstill\tread\tthe\tpaper.\tOne\tnight,\the\twent\toutside after\tdinner.\tA\tfew\tblocks\tfrom\thome,\the\twas\taccosted\tby\ttwo\trobbers. \\\"Give\tus\tyour\tmoney,\\\"\tone\tsaid,\tpulling\ta\tgun.\tFrightened,\tCharlie\tthrew\tdown his\twallet\tand\tbegan\tto\trun.\tHe\tran\tthrough\tthe\tstreets,\tand\tkept\trunning\tuntil\the reached\tthe\tsteps\tof\ta\trelative's\thouse,\twhere\the\tcollapsed\ton\tthe\tporch. Heart\tattack. He\tdied\tthat\tnight. Morrie\twas\tcalled\tto\tidentify\tthe\tbody.\tHe\tflew\tto\tNew\tYork\tand\twent\tto\tthe morgue.\tHe\twas\ttaken\tdownstairs,\tto\tthe\tcold\troom\twhere\tthe\tcorpses\twere\tkept. \\\"Is\tthis\tyour\tfather?\\\"\tthe\tattendant\tasked. Morrie\tlooked\tat\tthe\tbody\tbehind\tthe\tglass,\tthe\tbody\tof\tthe\tman\twho\thad scolded\thim\tand\tmolded\thim\tand\ttaught\thim\tto\twork,\twho\thad\tbeen\tquiet\twhen Morrie\twanted\thim\tto\tspeak,\twho\thad\ttold\tMorrie\tto\tswallow\this\tmemories\tof his\tmother\twhen\the\twanted\tto\tshare\tthem\twith\tthe\tworld.","He\tnodded\tand\the\twalked\taway.\tThe\thorror\tof\tthe\troom,\the\twould\tlater\tsay, sucked\tall\tother\tfunctions\tout\tof\thim.\tHe\tdid\tnot\tcry\tuntil\tdays\tlater. Still,\this\tfather's\tdeath\thelped\tprepare\tMorrie\tfor\this\town.\tThis\tmuch\the\tknew: there\twould\tbe\tlots\tof\tholding\tand\tkissing\tand\ttalking\tand\tlaughter\tand\tno\tgood- byes\tleft\tunsaid,\tall\tthe\tthings\the\tmissed\twith\this\tfather\tand\this\tmother. When\tthe\tfinal\tmoment\tcame,\tMorrie\twanted\this\tloved\tones\taround\thim, knowing\twhat\twas\thappening.\tNo\tone\twould\tget\ta\tphone\tcall,\tor\ta\ttelegram,\tor have\tto\tlook\tthrough\ta\tglass\twindow\tin\tsome\tcold\tand\tforeign\tbasement. In\tthe\tSouth\tAmerican\train\tforest,\tthere\tis\ta\ttribe\tcalled\tthe\tDesana,\twho\tsee\tthe world\tas\ta\tfixed\tquantity\tof\tenergy\tthat\tflows\tbetween\tall\tcreatures.\tEvery\tbirth must\ttherefore\tengender\ta\tdeath,\tand\tevery\tdeath\tbring\tforth\tanother\tbirth.\tThis way,\tthe\tenergy\tof\tthe\tworld\tremains\tcomplete. When\tthey\t{hunt\tfor\tfood,\tthe\tDesana\tknow\tthat\tthe\tanimals\tthey\tkill\twill\tleave a\thole\tin\tthe\tspiritual\twell.\tBut\tthat\thole\twill\tbe\tfilled,\tthey\tbelieve,\tby\tthe\tsouls of\tthe\tDesana\thunters\twhen\tthey\tdie.\tWere\tthere\tno\tmen\tdying,\tthere\twould\tbe no\tbirds\torfish\tbeing\tborn.\tI\tlike\tthis\tidea.\tMorrie\tlikes\tit,\ttoo.\tThe\tcloser\the\tgets to\tgood-bye,\tthe\tmore\the\tseems\tto\tfeel\twe\tare\tall\tcreatures\tin\tthe\tsame\tforest. What\twe\ttake,\twe\tmust\treplenish. \\\"It's\tonly\tfair,\\\"\the\tsays. The\tTenth\tTuesday\tWe\tTalk\tAbout\tMarriage I\tbrought\ta\tvisitor\tto\tmeet\tMorrie.\tMy\twife. He\thad\tbeen\tasking\tme\tsince\tthe\tfirst\tday\tI\tcame.\t\\\"When\tdo\tI\tmeet\tJanine?\\\" \\\"When\tare\tyou\tbringing\ther?\\\"\tI'd\talways\thad\texcuses\tuntil\ta\tfew\tdays\tearlier, when\tI\tcalled\this\thouse\tto\tsee\thow\the\twas\tdoing.","It\ttook\ta\twhile\tfor\tMorrie\tto\tget\tto\tthe\treceiver.\tAnd\twhen\the\tdid,\tI\tcould\thear the\tfumbling\tas\tsomeone\theld\tit\tto\this\tear.\tHe\tcould\tno\tlonger\tlift\ta\tphone\tby himself.\t\\\"Hiiiiii,\\\"\the\tgasped. You\tdoing\tokay,\tCoach? I\theard\thim\texhale.\t\\\"Mitch\t.\t.\t.\tyour\tcoach\t.\t.\t.\tisn't\thaving\tsuch\ta\tgreat\tday\t.\t.\t. His\tsleeping\ttime\twas\tgetting\tworse.\tHe\tneeded\toxygen\talmost\tnightly\tnow,\tand his\tcoughing\tspells\thad\tbecome\tfrightening.\tOne\tcough\tcould\tlast\tan\thour,\tand he\tnever\tknew\tif\the'd\tbe\table\tto\tstop.\tHe\talways\tsaid\the\twould\tdie\twhen\tthe disease\tgot\this\tlungs.\tI\tshuddered\twhen\tI\tthought\thow\tclose\tdeath\twas. I'll\tsee\tyou\ton\tTuesday,\tI\tsaid.\tYou'll\thave\ta\tbetter\tday\tthen. \\\"Mitch.\\\" Yeah? \\\"Is\tyour\twife\tthere\twith\tyou?\\\"\tShe\twas\tsitting\tnext\tto\tme. \\\"Put\ther\ton.\tI\twant\tto\thear\ther\tvoice.\\\" Now,\tI\tam\tmarried\tto\ta\twoman\tblessed\twith\tfar\tmore\tintuitive\tkindness\tthan\t1. Although\tshe\thad\tnever\tmet\tMorrie,\tshe\ttook\tthe\tphone\t-I\twould\thave\tshaken my\thead\tand\twhispered,\t\\\"I'm\tnot\there!\tI'm\tnot\there!\\\"-and\tin\ta\tminute,\tshe\twas connecting\twith\tmy\told\tprofessor\tas\tif\tthey'd\tknown\teach\tother\tsince\tcollege.\tI sensed\tthis,\teven\tthough\tall\tI\theard\ton\tmy\tend\twas\t\\\"Uh-huh\t.\t.\t.\tMitch\ttold\tme\t.\t. .\toh,\tthank\tyou\t.\t.\t. When\tshe\thung\tup,\tshe\tsaid,\t\\\"I'm\tcoming\tnext\ttrip.\\\"\tAnd\tthat\twas\tthat.","Now\twe\tsat\tin\this\toffice,\tsurrounding\thim\tin\this\trecliner.\tMorrie,\tby\this\town admission,\twas\ta\tharmless\tflirt,\tand\twhile\the\toften\thad\tto\tstop\tfor\tcoughing,\tor to\tuse\tthe\tcommode,\the\tseemed\tto\tfind\tnew\treserves\tof\tenergy\twith\tJanine\tin\tthe room.\tHe\tlooked\tat\tphotos\tfrom\tour\twedding,\twhich\tJanine\thad\tbrought\talong. \\\"You\tare\tfrom\tDetroit?\\\"\tMorrie\tsaid.\tYes,\tJanine\tsaid. \\\"I\ttaught\tin\tDetroit\tfor\tone\tyear,\tin\tthe\tlate\tforties.\tI\tremember\ta\tfunny\tstory about\tthat.\\\" He\tstopped\tto\tblow\this\tnose.\tWhen\the\tfumbled\twith\tthe\ttissue,\tI\theld\tit\tin\tplace and\the\tblew\tweakly\tinto\tit.\tI\tsqueezed\tit\tlightly\tagainst\this\tnostrils,\tthen\tpulled\tit off,\tlike\ta\tmother\tdoes\tto\ta\tchild\tin\ta\tcar\tseat. \\\"Thank\tyou,\tMitch.\\\"\tHe\tlooked\tat\tJanine.\t\\\"My\thelper,\tthis\tone\tis.\\\" Janine\tsmiled. \\\"Anyhow.\tMy\tstory.\tThere\twere\ta\tbunch\tof\tsociologists\tat\tthe\tuniversity,\tand\twe used\tto\tplay\tpoker\twith\tother\tstaff\tmembers,\tincluding\tthis\tguy\twho\twas\ta surgeon.\tOne\tnight,\tafter\tthe\tgame,\the\tsaid,\t'Morrie,\tI\twant\tto\tcome\tsee\tyou work.'\tI\tsaid\tfine.\tSo\the\tcame\tto\tone\tof\tmy\tclasses\tand\twatched\tme\tteach. \\\"After\tthe\tclass\twas\tover\the\tsaid,\t`All\tright,\tnow,\thow\twould\tyou\tlike\tto\tsee\tme work?\tI\thave\tan\toperation\ttonight.'\tI\twanted\tto\treturn\tthe\tfavor,\tso\tI\tsaid\tokay. \\\"He\ttook\tme\tup\tto\tthe\thospital.\tHe\tsaid,\t`Scrub\tdown,\tput\ton\ta\tmask,\tand\tget into\ta\tgown.'\tAnd\tnext\tthing\tI\tknew,\tI\twas\tright\tnext\tto\thim\tat\tthe\toperating table.\tThere\twas\tthis\twoman,\tthe\tpatient,\ton\tthe\ttable,\tnaked\tfrom\tthe\twaist down.\tAnd\the\ttook\ta\tknife\tand\twent\tzip\tjust\tlike\tthat!\tWell\t.\t.\t. Morrie\tlifted\ta\tfinger\tand\tspun\tit\taround. \\\"\t.\t.\t.\tI\tstarted\tto\tgo\tlike\tthis.\tI'm\tabout\tto\tfaint.\tAll\tthe\tblood.\tYech.\tThe\tnurse","next\tto\tme\tsaid,\t`What's\tthe\tmatter,\tDoctor?'\tand\tI\tsaid,\t`I'm\tno\tdamn\tdoctor! Get\tme\tout\tof\there!'\t\\\" We\tlaughed,\tand\tMorrie\tlaughed,\ttoo,\tas\thard\tas\the\tcould,\twith\this\tlimited breathing.\tIt\twas\tthe\tfirst\ttime\tin\tweeks\tthat\tI\tcould\trecall\thim\ttelling\ta\tstory\tlike this.\tHow\tstrange,\tI\tthought,\tthat\the\tnearly\tfainted\tonce\tfrom\twatching\tsomeone else's\tillness,\tand\tnow\the\twas\tso\table\tto\tendure\this\town. Connie\tknocked\ton\tthe\tdoor\tand\tsaid\tthat\tMorrie's\tlunch\twas\tready.\tIt\twas\tnot the\tcarrot\tsoup\tand\tvegetable\tcakes\tand\tGreek\tpasta\tI\thad\tbrought\tthat\tmorning from\tBread\tand\tCircus.\tAlthough\tI\ttried\tto\tbuy\tthe\tsoftest\tof\tfoods\tnow,\tthey were\tstill\tbeyond\tMorrie's\tlimited\tstrength\tto\tchew\tand\tswallow.\tHe\twas\teating mostly\tliquid\tsupplements,\twith\tperhaps\ta\tbran\tmuffin\ttossed\tin\tuntil\tit\twas mushy\tand\teasily\tdigested.\tCharlotte\twould\tpuree\talmost\teverything\tin\ta\tblender now.\tHe\twas\ttaking\tfood\tthrough\ta\tstraw.\tI\tstill\tshopped\tevery\tweek\tand\twalked in\twith\tbags\tto\tshow\thim,\tbut\tit\twas\tmore\tfor\tthe\tlook\ton\this\tface\tthan\tanything else.\tWhen\tI\topened\tthe\trefrigerator,\tI\twould\tsee\tan\toverflow\tof\tcontainers.\tI guess\tI\twas\thoping\tthat\tone\tday\twe\twould\tgo\tback\tto\teating\ta\treal\tlunch\ttogether and\tI\tcould\twatch\tthe\tsloppy\tway\tin\twhich\the\ttalked\twhile\tchewing,\tthe\tfood spilling\thappily\tout\tof\this\tmouth.\tThis\twas\ta\tfoolish\thope. \\\"So\t.\t.\t.\tJanine,\\\"\tMorrie\tsaid.\tShe\tsmiled. \\\"You\tare\tlovely.\tGive\tme\tyour\thand.\\\" She\tdid. \\\"Mitch\tsays\tthat\tyou're\ta\tprofessional\tsinger.\\\"\tYes,\tJanine\tsaid. \\\"He\tsays\tyou're\tgreat.\\\" Oh,\tshe\tlaughed.\tN0.\tHe\tjust\tsays\tthat. Morrie\traised\this\teyebrows.\t\\\"Will\tyou\tsing\tsomething\tfor\tme?\\\"","Now,\tI\thave\theard\tpeople\task\tthis\tof\tJanine\tfor\talmost\tas\tlong\tas\tI\thave\tknown her.\tWhen\tpeople\tfind\tout\tyou\tsing\tfor\ta\tliving,\tthey\talways\tsay,\t\\\"Sing something\tfor\tus.\\\"\tShy\tabout\ther\ttalent,\tand\ta\tperfectionist\tabout\tconditions, Janine\tnever\tdid.\tShe\twould\tpolitely\tdecline.\tWhich\tis\twhat\tI\texpected\tnow. Which\tis\twhen\tshe\tbegan\tt0\tsing: \\\"The\tvery\tthought\tof\tyou","and\tI\tforget\tto\tdo the\tlittle\tordinary\tthings\tthat\teveryone\tought\tto\tdo\t.\t.\t.\t\\\" It\twas\ta\t1930s\tstandard,\twritten\tby\tRay\tNoble,\tand\tJanine\tsang\tit\tsweetly, looking\tstraight\tat\tMorrie.\tI\twas\tamazed,\tonce\tagain,\tat\this\tability\tt0\tdraw emotion\tfrom\tpeople\twho\totherwise\tkept\tit\tlocked\taway.\tMorrie\tclosed\this\teyes to\tabsorb\tthe\tnotes.\tAs\tmy\twife's\tloving\tvoice\tfilled\tthe\troom,\ta\tcrescent\tsmile appeared\t0n\this\tface.\tAnd\twhile\this\tbody\twas\tstiff\tas\ta\tsandbag,\tyou\tcould almost\tsee\thim\tdancing\tinside\tit. \\\"I\tsee\tyour\tface\tin\tevery\tflower, your\teyes\tin\tstars\tabove, it's\tjust\tthe\tthought\tof\tyou, \tthe\tvery\tthought\tof\tyou, my\tlove\t.\t.\t.\t\\\" When\tshe\tfinished,\tMorrie\topened\this\teyes\tand\ttears\trolled\tdown\this\tcheeks.\tIn all\tthe\tyears\tI\thave\tlistened\tto\tmy\twife\tsing,\tI\tnever\theard\ther\tthe\tway\the\tdid\tat that\tmoment. Marriage.\tAlmost\teveryone\tI\tknew\thad\ta\tproblem\twith\tit.\tSome\thad\tproblems getting\tinto\tit,\tsome\thad\tproblems\tgetting\tout.\tMy\tgeneration\tseemed\tt0\tstruggle with\tthe\tcommitment,\tas\tif\tit\twere\tan\talligator\tfrom\tsome\tmurky\tswamp.\tI\thad gotten\tused\tto\tattending\tweddings,\tcongratulating\tthe\tcouple,\tand\tfeeling\tonly mild\tsurprise\twhen\tI\tsaw\tthe\tgroom\ta\tfew\tyears\tlater\tsitting\tin\ta\trestaurant\twith","a\tyounger\twoman\twhom\the\tintroduced\tas\ta\tfriend.\t\\\"You\tknow,\tI'm\tseparated from\tso-and-so\t.\t.\t.\\\"\the\twould\tsay. Why\tdo\twe\thave\tsuch\tproblems?\tI\tasked\tMorrie\tabout\tthis.\tHaving\twaited\tseven years\tbefore\tI\tproposed\tt0\tJanine,\tI\twondered\tif\tpeople\tmy\tage\twere\tbeing\tmore careful\tthan\tthose\twho\tcame\tbefore\tus,\t0r\tsimply\tmore\tselfish? \\\"Well,\tI\tfeel\tsorry\tfor\tyour\tgeneration,\\\"\tMorrie\tsaid.\t\\\"In\tthis\tculture,\tit's\tso important\tto\tfind\ta\tloving\trelationship\twith\tsomeone\tbecause\tso\tmuch\tof\tthe culture\tdoes\tnot\tgive\tyou\tthat.\tBut\tthe\tpoor\tkids\ttoday,\teither\tthey're\ttoo\tselfish to\ttake\tpart\tin\ta\treal\tloving\trelationship,\tor\tthey\trush\tinto\tmarriage\tand\tthen\tsix months\tlater,\tthey\tget\tdivorced.\tThey\tdon't\tknow\twhat\tthey\twant\tin\ta\tpartner. They\tdon't\tknow\twho\tthey\tare\tthemselves-so\thow\tcan\tthey\tknow\twho\tthey're marrying?\\\" He\tsighed.\tMorrie\thad\tcounseled\tso\tmany\tunhappy\tlovers\tin\this\tyears\tas\ta professor.\t\\\"It's\tsad,\tbecause\ta\tloved\tone\tis\tso\timportant.\tYou\trealize\tthat, especially\twhen\tyou're\tin\ta\ttime\tlike\tI\tam,\twhen\tyou're\tnot\tdoing\tso\twell. Friends\tare\tgreat,\tbut\tfriends\tare\tnot\tgoing\tto\tbe\there\ton\ta\tnight\twhen\tyou're coughing\tand\tcan't\tsleep\tand\tsomeone\thas\tto\tsit\tup\tall\tnight\twith\tyou,\tcomfort you,\ttry\tto\tbe\thelpful.\\\" Charlotte\tand\tMorrie,\twho\tmet\tas\tstudents,\thad\tbeen\tmarried\tforty-four\tyears.\tI watched\tthem\ttogether\tnow,\twhen\tshe\twould\tremind\thim\tof\this\tmedication,\tor come\tin\tand\tstroke\this\tneck,\tor\ttalk\tabout\tone\tof\ttheir\tsons.\tThey\tworked\tas\ta team,\toften\tneeding\tno\tmore\tthan\ta\tsilent\tglance\tto\tunderstand\twhat\tthe\tother was\tthinking.\tCharlotte\twas\ta\tprivate\tperson,\tdifferent\tfrom\tMorrie,\tbut\tI\tknew how\tmuch\the\trespected\ther,\tbecause\tsometimes\twhen\twe\tspoke,\the\twould\tsay, \\\"Charlotte\tmight\tbe\tuncomfortable\twith\tme\trevealing\tthat,\\\"\tand\the\twould\tend the\tconversation.\tIt\twas\tthe\tonly\ttime\tMorrie\theld\tanything\tback. \\\"I've\tlearned\tthis\tmuch\tabout\tmarriage,\\\"\the\tsaid\tnow.\t\\\"You\tget\ttested.\tYou\tfind out\twho\tyou\tare,\twho\tthe\tother\tperson\tis,\tand\thow\tyou\taccommodate\tor\tdon't.\\\" Is\tthere\tsome\tkind\tof\trule\tto\tknow\tif\ta\tmarriage\tis\tgoing\tto\twork?","Morrie\tsmiled.\t\\\"Things\tare\tnot\tthat\tsimple,\tMitch.\\\"\tI\tknow. \\\"Still,\\\"\the\tsaid,\t\\\"there\tare\ta\tfew\trules\tI\tknow\tto\tbe\ttrue\tabout\tlove\tand\tmarriage: If\tyou\tdon't\trespect\tthe\tother\tperson,\tyou're\tgonna\thave\ta\tlot\tof\ttrouble.\tIf\tyou don't\tknow\thow\tto\tcompromise,\tyou're\tgonna\thave\ta\tlot\tof\ttrouble.\tIf\tyou\tcan't talk\topenly\tabout\twhat\tgoes\ton\tbetween\tyou,\tyou're\tgonna\thave\ta\tlot\tof\ttrouble. And\tif\tyou\tdon't\thave\ta\tcommon\tset\tof\tvalues\tin\tlife,\tyou're\tgonna\thave\ta\tlot\tof trouble.\tYour\tvalues\tmust\tbe\talike. \\\"And\tthe\tbiggest\tone\tof\tthose\tvalues,\tMitch?\\\"' Yes? \\\"Your\tbelief\tin\tthe\timportance\tof\tyour\tmarriage.\\\" He\tsniffed,\tthen\tclosed\this\teyes\tfor\ta\tmoment. \\\"Personally,\\\"\the\tsighed,\this\teyes\tstill\tclosed,\t\\\"I\tthink\tmarriage\tis\ta\tvery important\tthing\tto\tdo,\tand\tyou're\tmissing\ta\thell\tof\ta\tlot\tif\tyou\tdon't\ttry\tit.\\\" He\tended\tthe\tsubject\tby\tquoting\tthe\tpoem\the\tbelieved\tin\tlike\ta\tprayer:\t\\\"Love each\tother\tor\tperish.\\\" Okay,\tquestion,\tI\tsay\tto\tMorrie.\tHis\tbony\tfingers\thold\this\tglasses\tacross\this chest,\twhich\trises\tand\tfalls\twith\teach\tlabored\tbreath. \\\"What's\tthe\tquestion?\\\"\tlie\tsays. Remember\tthe\tBook\tof\tJob? \\\"From\tthe\tBible?\\\"","Right.\tJob\tis\ta\tgood\tmare,\tbut\tGod\tmakes\thim\tsuffer.\tTo\ttest\this\tfaith. \\\"1\tremember.\t\\\" Takes\taway\teverything\tlie\thas,\this\thouse,\this\tmoney,\this\tfamily\t.\t.\t. \\\"His\thealth.\\\" Makes\thim\tsick. \\\"To\ttest\this\tfaith.\\\" Right.\tTo\ttest\this\tfaith.\tSo,\tI'm\twondering\t.\t\t\t.\t\t\t\t\t. \\\"What\tare\tyou\twondering?\\\" What\tyou\tthink\tabout\tthat? Morrie\tcoughs\tviolently.\tHis\thands\tquiver\tas\the\tdrops\tthem\tby\this\tside. \\\"I\tthink,\t\\\"\the\tsays,\tsmiling,\t\\\"God\toverdid\tit.\t\\\" The\tEleventh\tTuesday\tWe\tTalk\tAbout\tOur\tCulture \\\"Hit\thim\tharder.\\\" I\tslapped\tMorrie's\tback. \\\"Harder.\\\"","I\tslapped\thim\tagain. \\\"Near\this\tshoulders\t.\t.\t.\tnow\tdown\tlower.\\\" Morrie,\tdressed\tin\tpajama\tbottoms,\tlay\tin\tbed\ton\this\tside,\this\thead\tflush\tagainst the\tpillow,\this\tmouth\topen.\tThe\tphysical\ttherapist\twas\tshowing\tme\thow\tto\tbang loose\tthe\tpoison\tin\this\tlungs-which\the\tneeded\tdone\tregularly\tnow,\tto\tkeep\tit from\tsolidifying,\tto\tkeep\thim\tbreathing. \\\"I\t.\t.\t.\talways\tknew\t.\t.\t.\tyou\twanted\t.\t.\t.\tto\thit\tme\t.\t.\t.\\\"\tMorrie\tgasped. Yeah,\tI\tjoked\tas\tI\trapped\tmy\tfist\tagainst\tthe\talabaster\tskin\tof\this\tback.\tThis\tis for\tthat\tB\tyou\tgave\tme\tsophomore\tyear!\tWhack! We\tall\tlaughed,\ta\tnervous\tlaughter\tthat\tcomes\twhen\tthe\tdevil\tis\twithin\tearshot. It\twould\thave\tbeen\tcute,\tthis\tlittle\tscene,\twere\tit\tnot\twhat\twe\tall\tknew\tit\twas,\tthe final\tcalisthenics\tbefore\tdeath.\tMorrie's\tdisease\twas\tnow\tdangerously\tclose\tto his\tsurrender\tspot,\this\tlungs.\tHe\thad\tbeen\tpredicting\the\twould\tdie\tfrom\tchoking, and\tI\tcould\tnot\timagine\ta\tmore\tterrible\tway\tto\tgo.\tSometimes\the\twould\tclose\this eyes\tand\ttry\tto\tdraw\tthe\tair\tup\tinto\this\tmouth\tand\tnostrils,\tand\tit\tseemed\tas\tif\the were\ttrying\tto\tlift\tan\tanchor. Outside,\tit\twas\tjacket\tweather,\tearly\tOctober,\tthe\tleaves\tclumped\tin\tpiles\ton\tthe lawns\taround\tWest\tNewton.\tMorrie's\tphysical\ttherapist\thad\tcome\tearlier\tin\tthe day,\tand\tI\tusually\texcused\tmyself\twhen\tnurses\tor\tspecialists\thad\tbusiness\twith him.\tBut\tas\tthe\tweeks\tpassed\tand\tour\ttime\tran\tdown,\tI\twas\tincreasingly\tless self-conscious\tabout\tthe\tphysical\tembarrassment.\tI\twanted\tto\tbe\tthere.\tI\twanted to\tobserve\teverything.\tThis\twas\tnot\tlike\tme,\tbut\tthen,\tneither\twere\ta\tlot\tof\tthings that\thad\thappened\tthese\tlast\tfew\tmonths\tin\tMorrie's\thouse. So\tI\twatched\tthe\ttherapist\twork\ton\tMorrie\tin\tthe\tbed,\tpounding\tthe\tback\tof\this ribs,\tasking\tif\the\tcould\tfeel\tthe\tcongestion\tloosening\twithin\thim.\tAnd\twhen\tshe took a\tbreak,\tshe\tasked\tif\tI\twanted\tto\ttry\tit.\tI\tsaid\tyes.\tMorrie,\this\tface\ton\tthe\tpillow, gave\ta\tlittle\tsmile.","\\\"Not\ttoo\thard,\\\"\the\tsaid.\t\\\"I'm\tan\told\tman.\\\" I\tdrummed\ton\this\tback\tand\tsides,\tmoving\taround,\tas\tshe\tinstructed.\tI\thated\tthe idea\tof\tMorrie's\tlying\tin\tbed\tunder\tany\tcircumstances\t(his\tlast\taphorism,\t\\\"When you're\tin\tbed,\tyou're\tdead,\\\"\trang\tin\tmy\tears),\tand\tcurled\ton\this\tside,\the\twas\tso small,\tso\twithered,\tit\twas\tmore\ta\tboy's\tbody\tthan\ta\tman's.\tI\tsaw\tthe\tpaleness\tof his\tskin,\tthe\tstray\twhite\thairs,\tthe\tway\this\tarms\thung\tlimp\tand\thelpless.\tI thought\tabout\thow\tmuch\ttime\twe\tspend\ttrying\tto\tshape\tour\tbodies,\tlifting weights,\tcrunching\tsit-ups,\tand\tin\tthe\tend,\tnature\ttakes\tit\taway\tfrom\tus\tanyhow. Beneath\tmy\tfingers,\tI\tfelt\tthe\tloose\tflesh\taround\tMorrie's\tbones,\tand\tI\tthumped him\thard,\tas\tinstructed.\tThe\ttruth\tis,\tI\twas\tpounding\ton\this\tback\twhen\tI\twanted to\tbe\thitting\tthe\twalls. \\\"Mitch?\\\"\tMorrie\tgasped,\this\tvoice\tjumpy\tas\ta\tjackhammer\tas\tI\tpounded\ton\thim. Uh-huh? \\\"When\tdid\t.\t.\t.\tI\t.\t.\t.\tgive\tyou\t.\t.\t.\ta\tB?\\\" Morrie\tbelieved\tin\tthe\tinherent\tgood\tof\tpeople.\tBut\the\talso\tsaw\twhat\tthey\tcould become. \\\"People\tare\tonly\tmean\twhen\tthey're\tthreatened,\\\"\the\tsaid\tlater\tthat\tday,\t\\\"and that's\twhat\tour\tculture\tdoes.\tThat's\twhat\tour\teconomy\tdoes.\tEven\tpeople\twho have\tjobs\tin\tour\teconomy\tare\tthreatened,\tbecause\tthey\tworry\tabout\tlosing\tthem. And\twhen\tyou\tget\tthreatened,\tyou\tstart\tlooking\tout\tonly\tfor\tyourself.\tYou\tstart making\tmoney\ta\tgod.\tIt\tis\tall\tpart\tof\tthis\tculture.\\\" He\texhaled.\t\\\"Which\tis\twhy\tI\tdon't\tbuy\tinto\tit.\\\" I\tnodded\tat\thim\tand\tsqueezed\this\thand.\tWe\theld\thands\tregularly\tnow.\tThis\twas another\tchange\tfor\tme.\tThings\tthat\tbefore\twould\thave\tmade\tme\tembarrassed\tor squeamish\twere\tnow\troutinely\thandled.\tThe\tcatheter\tbag,\tconnected\tto\tthe\ttube","inside\thim\tand\tfilled\twith\tgreenish\twaste\tfluid,\tlay\tby\tmy\tfoot\tnear\tthe\tleg\tof\this chair.\tA\tfew\tmonths\tearlier,\tit\tmight\thave\tdisgusted\tme;\tit\twas\tinconsequential now.\tSo\twas\tthe\tsmell\tof\tthe\troom\tafter\tMorrie\thad\tused\tthe\tcommode.\tHe\tdid not\thave\tthe\tluxury\tof\tmoving\tfrom\tplace\tto\tplace,\tof\tclosing\ta\tbathroom\tdoor behind\thim,\tspraying\tsome\tair\tfreshener\twhen\the\tleft.\tThere\twas\this\tbed,\tthere was\this\tchair,\tand\tthat\twas\this\tlife.\tIf\tmy\tlife\twere\tsqueezed\tinto\tsuch\ta\tthimble, I\tdoubt\tI\tcould\tmake\tit\tsmell\tany\tbetter. \\\"Here's\twhat\tI\tmean\tby\tbuilding\tyour\town\tlittle\tsubculture,\\\"\tMorrie\tsaid.\t\\\"I\tdon't mean\tyou\tdisregard\tevery\trule\tof\tyour\tcommunity.\tI\tdon't\tgo\taround\tnaked,\tfor example.\tI\tdon't\trun\tthrough\tred\tlights.\tThe\tlittle\tthings,\tI\tcan\tobey.\tBut\tthe\tbig things-how\twe\tthink,\twhat\twe\tvalue-those\tyou\tmust\tchoose\tyourself.\tYou\tcan't let\tanyone-or\tany\tsociety\t\t\t\t\tdetermine\tthose\tfor\tyou. \\\"Take\tmy\tcondition.\tThe\tthings\tI\tam\tsupposed\tto\tbe\tembarrassed\tabout\tnow-not being\table\tto\twalk,\tnot\tbeing\table\tto\twipe\tmy\tass,\twaking\tup\tsome\tmornings wanting\tto\tcry-there\tis\tnothing\tinnately\tembarrassing\tor\tshaming\tabout\tthem. \\\"It's\tthe\tsame\tfor\twomen\tnot\tbeing\tthin\tenough,\tor\tmen\tnot\tbeing\trich\tenough. It's\tjust\twhat\tour\tculture\twould\thave\tyou\tbelieve.\tDon't\tbelieve\tit.\\\" I\tasked\tMorrie\twhy\the\thadn't\tmoved\tsomewhere\telse\twhen\the\twas\tyounger. \\\"Where?\\\" I\tdon't\tknow.\tSouth\tAmerica.\tNew\tGuinea.\tSomeplace\tnot\tas\tselfish\tas\tAmerica. \\\"Every\tsociety\thas\tits\town\tproblems,\\\"\tMorrie\tsaid,\tlifting\this\teyebrows,\tthe closest\the\tcould\tcome\tto\ta\tshrug.\t\\\"The\tway\tto\tdo\tit,\tI\tthink,\tisn't\tto\trun\taway. You\thave\tto\twork\tat\tcreating\tyour\town\tculture. \\\"Look,\tno\tmatter\twhere\tyou\tlive,\tthe\tbiggest\tdefect\twe\thuman\tbeings\thave\tis\tour shortsightedness.\tWe\tdon't\tsee\twhat\twe\tcould\tbe.\tWe\tshould\tbe\tlooking\tat\tour potential,\tstretching\tourselves\tinto\teverything\twe\tcan\tbecome.\tBut\tif\tyou're surrounded\tby\tpeople\twho\tsay\t`I\twant\tmine\tnow,'\tyou\tend\tup\twith\ta\tfew\tpeople","with\teverything\tand\ta\tmilitary\tto\tkeep\tthe\tpoor\tones\tfrom\trising\tup\tand\tstealing it.\\\" Morrie\tlooked\tover\tmy\tshoulder\tto\tthe\tfar\twindow.\tSometimes\tyou\tcould\thear\ta passing\ttruck\tor\ta\twhip\tof\tthe\twind.\tHe\tgazed\tfor\ta\tmoment\tat\this\tneighbors' houses,\tthen\tcontinued. \\\"The\tproblem,\tMitch,\tis\tthat\twe\tdon't\tbelieve\twe\tare\tas\tmuch\talike\tas\twe\tare. Whites\tand\tblacks,\tCatholics\tand\tProtestants,\tmen\tand\twomen.\tIf\twe\tsaw\teach other\tas\tmore\talike,\twe\tmight\tbe\tvery\teager\tto\tjoin\tin\tone\tbig\thuman\tfamily\tin this\tworld,\tand\tto\tcare\tabout\tthat\tfamily\tthe\tway\twe\tcare\tabout\tour\town. \\\"But\tbelieve\tme,\twhen\tyou\tare\tdying,\tyou\tsee\tit\tis\ttrue.\tWe\tall\thave\tthe\tsame beginning-birth-and\twe\tall\thave\tthe\tsame\tend-death.\tSo\thow\tdifferent\tcan\twe be? \\\"Invest\tin\tthe\thuman\tfamily.\tInvest\tin\tpeople.\tBuild\ta\tlittle\tcommunity\tof\tthose you\tlove\tand\twho\tlove\tyou.\\\" He\tsqueezed\tmy\thand\tgently.\tI\tsqueezed\tback\tharder.\tAnd\tlike\tthat\tcarnival contest\twhere\tyou\tbang\ta\thammer\tand\twatch\tthe\tdisk\trise\tup\tthe\tpole,\tI\tcould almost\tsee\tmy\tbody\theat\trise\tup\tMorrie's\tchest\tand\tneck\tinto\this\tcheeks\tand eyes.\tHe\tsmiled. \\\"In\tthe\tbeginning\tof\tlife,\twhen\twe\tare\tinfants,\twe\tneed\tothers\tto\tsurvive,\tright? And\tat\tthe\tend\tof\tlife,\twhen\tyou\tget\tlike\tme,\tyou\tneed\tothers\tto\tsurvive,\tright?\\\" His\tvoice\tdropped\tto\ta\twhisper.\t\\\"But\there's\tthe\tsecret:\tin\tbetween,\twe\tneed others\tas\twell.\\\" Later\tthat\tafternoon,\tConnie\tand\tI\twent\tinto\tthe\tbedroom\tto\twatch\tthe\tO.\tJ. Simpson\tverdict.\tIt\twas\ta\ttense\tscene\tas\tthe\tprincipals\tall\tturned\tto\tface\tthe\tjury, Simpson,\tin\this\tblue\tsuit,\tsurrounded\tby\this\tsmall\tarmy\tof\tlawyers,\tthe prosecutors\twho\twanted\thim\tbehind\tbars\tjust\ta\tfew\tfeet\taway.\tWhen\tthe","foreman\tread\tthe\tverdict\\\"Not\tguilty\\\"-Connie\tshrieked. \\\"Oh\tmy\tGod!\\\" We\twatched\tas\tSimpson\thugged\this\tlawyers.\tWe\tlistened\tas\tthe\tcommentators tried\tto\texplain\twhat\tit\tall meant.\tWe\tsaw\tcrowds\tof\tblacks\tcelebrating\tin\tthe\tstreets\toutside\tthe courthouse,\tand\tcrowds\tof\twhites\tsitting\tstunned\tinside\trestaurants.\tThe\tdecision was\tbeing\thailed\tas\tmomentous,\teven\tthough\tmurders\ttake\tplace\tevery\tday. Connie\twent\tout\tin\tthe\thall.\tShe\thad\tseen\tenough. I\theard\tthe\tdoor\tto\tMorrie's\tstudy\tclose.\tI\tstared\tat\tthe\tTV\tset.\tEveryone\tin\tthe world\tis\twatching\tthis\tthing,\tI\ttold\tmyself.\tThen,\tfrom\tthe\tother\troom,\tI\theard the\truffling\tof\tMorrie's\tbeing\tlifted\tfrom\this\tchair\tand\tI\tsmiled.\tAs\t\\\"The\tTrial\tof the\tCentury\\\"\treached\tits\tdramatic\tconclusion,\tmy\told\tprofessor\twas\tsitting\ton the\ttoilet. It\tis\t1979,\ta\tbasketball\tgame\tin\tthe\tBrandeis\tgym.\tThe\tteam\tis\tdoing\twell,\tand the\tstudent\tsection\tbegins\ta\tchant,\t\\\"We're\tnumber\tone!\tWe're\tnumber\tone!\\\" Morrie\tis\tsitting\tnearby.\tHe\tis\tpuzzled\tby\tthe\tcheer.\tAt\tone\tpoint,\tin\tthe\tmidst\tof \\\"We're\tnumber\tone!\\\"\the\trises\tand\tyells,\t\\\"What's\twrong\twith\tbeing\tnumber\ttwo?\\\" The\tstudents\tlook\tat\thim.\tThey\tstop\tchanting.\tHe\tsits\tdown,\tsmiling\tand triumphant. The\tAudiovisual,\tPart\tThree The\t\\\"Nightline\\\"\tcrew\tcame\tback\tfor\tits\tthird\tand\tfinal\tvisit.\tThe\twhole\ttenor\tof the\tthing\twas\tdifferent\tnow.\tLess\tlike\tan\tinterview,\tmore\tlike\ta\tsad\tfarewell.\tTed Koppel\thad\tcalled\tseveral\ttimes\tbefore\tcoming\tup,\tand\the\thad\tasked\tMorrie, \\\"Do\tyou\tthink\tyou\tcan\thandle\tit?\\\"","Morrie\twasn't\tsure\the\tcould.\t\\\"I'm\ttired\tall\tthe\ttime\tnow,\tTed.\tAnd\tI'm\tchoking\ta lot.\tIf\tI\tcan't\tsay\tsomething,\twill\tyou\tsay\tit\tfor\tme?\\\" Koppel\tsaid\tsure.\tAnd\tthen\tthe\tnormally\tstoic\tanchor\tadded\tthis:\t\\\"If\tyou\tdon't want\tto\tdo\tit,\tMorrie,\tit's\tokay.\tI'll\tcome\tup\tand\tsay\tgood-bye\tanyhow.\\\" Later,\tMorrie\twould\tgrin\tmischievously\tand\tsay,\t\\\"I'm\tgetting\tto\thim.\\\"\tAnd\the was.\tKoppel\tnow\treferred\tto\tMorrie\tas\t\\\"a\tfriend.\\\"\tMy\told\tprofessor\thad\teven coaxed\tcompassion\tout\tof\tthe\ttelevision\tbusiness. For\tthe\tinterview,\twhich\ttook\tplace\ton\ta\tFriday\tafternoon,\tMorrie\twore\tthe\tsame shirt\the'd\thad\ton\tthe\tday\tbefore.\tHe\tchanged\tshirts\tonly\tevery\tother\tday\tat\tthis point,\tand\tthis\twas\tnot\tthe\tother\tday,\tso\twhy\tbreak\troutine? Unlike\tthe\tprevious\ttwo\tKoppel-Schwartz\tsessions,\tthis\tone\twas\tconducted entirely\twithin\tMorrie's\tstudy,\twhere\tMorrie\thad\tbecome\ta\tprisoner\tof\this\tchair. Koppel,\twho\tkissed\tmy\told\tprofessor\twhen\the\tfirst\tsaw\thim,\tnow\thad\tto\tsqueeze in\talongside\tthe\tbookcase\tin\torder\tto\tbe\tseen\tin\tthe\tcamera's\tlens. Before\tthey\tstarted,\tKoppel\tasked\tabout\tthe\tdisease's\tprogression.\t\\\"How\tbad\tis it,\tMorrie?\\\" Morrie\tweakly\tlifted\ta\thand,\thalfway\tup\this\tbelly.\tThis\twas\tas\tfar\tas\the\tcould\tgo. Koppel\thad\this\tanswer. The\tcamera\trolled,\tthe\tthird\tand\tfinal\tinterview.\tKoppel\tasked\tif\tMorrie\twas more\tafraid\tnow\tthat\tdeath\twas\tnear.\tMorrie\tsaid\tno;\tto\ttell\tthe\ttruth,\the\twas\tless afraid.\tHe\tsaid\the\twas\tletting\tgo\tof\tsome\tof\tthe\toutside\tworld,\tnot\thaving\tthe newspaper\tread\tto\thim\tas\tmuch,\tnot\tpaying\tas\tmuch\tattention\tto\tmail,\tinstead listening\tmore\tto\tmusic\tand\twatching\tthe\tleaves\tchange\tcolor\tthrough\this window. There\twere\tother\tpeople\twho\tsuffered\tfrom\tALS,\tMorrie\tknew,\tsome\tof\tthem famous,\tsuch\tas\tStephen\tHawking,\tthe\tbrilliant\tphysicist\tand\tauthor\tof\tA\tBrief","History\tof\tTime.\tHe\tlived\twith\ta\thole\tin\this\tthroat,\tspoke\tthrough\ta\tcomputer synthesizer,\ttyped\twords\tby\tbatting\this\teyes\tas\ta\tsensor\tpicked\tup\tthe movement. This\twas\tadmirable,\tbut\tit\twas\tnot\tthe\tway\tMorrie\twanted\tto\tlive.\tHe\ttold Koppel\the\tknew\twhen\tit\twould\tbe\ttime\tto\tsay\tgood-bye. \\\"For\tme,\tTed,\tliving\tmeans\tI\tcan\tbe\tresponsive\tto\tthe\tother\tperson.\tIt\tmeans\tI can\tshow\tmy\temotions\tand\tmy\tfeelings.\tTalk\tto\tthem.\tFeel\twith\tthem\t.\t.\t.\\\" He\texhaled.\t\\\"When\tthat\tis\tgone,\tMorrie\tis\tgone.\\\" They\ttalked\tlike\tfriends.\tAs\the\thad\tin\tthe\tprevious\ttwo\tinterviews,\tKoppel\tasked about\tthe\t\\\"old\tass\twipe\ttest\\\"-hoping,\tperhaps,\tfor\ta\thumorous\tresponse.\tBut Morrie\twas\ttoo\ttired\teven\tto\tgrin.\tHe\tshook\this\thead.\t\\\"When\tI\tsit\ton\tthe commode,\tI\tcan\tno\tlonger\tsit\tup\tstraight.\tI'm\tlisting\tall\tthe\ttime,\tso\tthey\thave\tto hold\tme.\tWhen\tI'm\tdone\tthey\thave\tto\twipe\tme.\tThat\tis\thow\tfar\tit's\tgotten.\\\" He\ttold\tKoppel\the\twanted\tto\tdie\twith\tserenity.\tHe\tshared\this\tlatest\taphorism: \\\"Don't\tlet\tgo\ttoo\tsoon,\tbut\tdon't\thang\ton\ttoo\tlong.\\\" Koppel\tnodded\tpainfully.\tOnly\tsix\tmonths\thad\tpassed\tbetween\tthe\tfirst \\\"Nightline\\\"\tshow\tand\tthis\tone,\tbut\tMorrie\tSchwartz\twas\tclearly\ta\tcollapsed form.\tHe\thad\tdecayed\tbefore\ta\tnational\tTV\taudience,\ta\tminiseries\tof\ta\tdeath. But\tas\this\tbody\trotted,\this\tcharacter\tshone\teven\tmore\tbrightly. Toward\tthe\tend\tof\tthe\tinterview,\tthe\tcamera\tzoomed\tin\ton\tMorrie-Koppel\twas not\teven\tin\tthe\tpicture,\tonly\this\tvoice\twas\theard\tfrom\toutside\tit-and\tthe\tanchor asked\tif\tmy\told\tprofessor\thad\tanything\the\twanted\tto\tsay\tto\tthe\tmillions\tof people\the\thad\ttouched.\tAlthough\the\tdid\tnot\tmean\tit\tthis\tway,\tI\tcouldn't\thelp\tbut think\tof\ta\tcondemned\tman\tbeing\tasked\tfor\this\tfinal\twords. \\\"Be\tcompassionate,\\\"\tMorrie\twhispered.\t\\\"And\ttake\tresponsibility\tfor\teach\tother. If\twe\tonly\tlearned\tthose\tlessons,\tthis\tworld\twould\tbe\tso\tmuch\tbetter\ta\tplace.\\\"","He\ttook\ta\tbreath,\tthen\tadded\this\tmantra:\t\\\"Love\teach\tother\tor\tdie.\\\" The\tinterview\twas\tended.\tBut\tfor\tsome\treason,\tthe\tcameraman\tleft\tthe\tfilm rolling,\tand\ta\tfinal\tscene\twas\tcaught\ton\ttape. \\\"You\tdid\ta\tgood\tjob,\\\"\tKoppel\tsaid. Morrie\tsmiled\tweakly. \\\"I\tgave\tyou\twhat\tI\thad,\\\"\the\twhispered.\t\\\"You\talways\tdo.\\\" \\\"Ted,\tthis\tdisease\tis\tknocking\tat\tmy\tspirit.\tBut\tit\twill\tnot\tget\tmy\tspirit.\tIt'll\tget my\tbody.\tIt\twill\tnot\tget\tmy\tspirit.\\\" Koppel\twas\tnear\ttears.\t\\\"You\tdone\tgood.\\\" \\\"You\tthink\tso?\\\"\tMorrie\trolled\this\teyes\ttoward\tthe\tceiling.\t\\\"I'm\tbargaining\twith Him\tup\tthere\tnow.\tI'm\tasking\tHim,\t`Do\tI\tget\tto\tbe\tone\tof\tthe\tangels?'\t\\\" It\twas\tthe\tfirst\ttime\tMorrie\tadmitted\ttalking\tto\tGod. The\tTwelfth\tTuesday\tWe\tTalk\tAbout\tForgiveness \\\"Forgive\tyourself\tbefore\tyou\tdie.\tThen\tforgive\tothers.\\\" This\twas\ta\tfew\tdays\tafter\tthe\t\\\"Nightline\\\"\tinterview.\tThe\tsky\twas\trainy\tand\tdark, and\tMorrie\twas\tbeneath\ta\tblanket.\tI\tsat\tat\tthe\tfar\tend\tof\this\tchair,\tholding\this bare\tfeet.\tThey\twere\tcallused\tand\tcurled,\tand\this\ttoenails\twere\tyellow.\tI\thad\ta small\tjar\tof\tlotion,\tand\tI\tsqueezed\tsome\tinto\tmy\thands\tand\tbegan\tto\tmassage\this ankles.","It\twas\tanother\tof\tthe\tthings\tI\thad\twatched\this\thelpers\tdo\tfor\tmonths,\tand\tnow,\tin an\tattempt\tto\thold\ton\tto\twhat\tI\tcould\tof\thim,\tI\thad\tvolunteered\tto\tdo\tit\tmyself. The\tdisease\thad\tleft\tMorrie\twithout\tthe\tability\teven\tto\twiggle\this\ttoes,\tyet\the could\tstill\tfeel\tpain,\tand\tmassages\thelped\trelieve\tit.\tAlso,\tof\tcourse,\tMorrie\tliked being\theld\tand\ttouched.\tAnd\tat\tthis\tpoint,\tanything\tI\tcould\tdo\tto\tmake\thim happy,\tI\twas\tgoing\tto\tdo. \\\"Mitch,\\\"\the\tsaid,\treturning\tto\tthe\tsubject\tof\tforgiveness.\t\\\"There\tis\tno\tpoint\tin keeping\tvengeance\tor\tstubbornness.\tThese\tthings\\\"-he\tsighed-\\\"these\tthings\tI\tso regret\tin\tmy\tlife.\tPride.\tVanity.\tWhy\tdo\twe\tdo\tthe\tthings\twe\tdo?\\\" The\timportance\tof\tforgiving\twas\tmy\tquestion.\tI\thad\tseen\tthose\tmovies\twhere the\tpatriarch\tof\tthe\tfamily\tis\ton\this\tdeath\tbed\tand\the\tcalls\tfor\this\testranged\tson so\tthat\the\tcan\tmake\tpeace\tbefore\the\tgoes.\tI\twondered\tif\tMorrie\thad\tany\tof\tthat inside\thim,\ta\tsudden\tneed\tto\tsay\t\\\"I'm\tsorry\\\"\tbefore\the\tdied? Morrie\tnodded.\t\\\"Do\tyou\tsee\tthat\tsculpture?\\\"\tHe\ttilted\this\thead\ttoward\ta\tbust that\tsat\thigh\ton\ta\tshelf\tagainst\tthe\tfar\twall\tof\this\toffice.\tI\thad\tnever\treally noticed\tit\tbefore.\tCast\tin\tbronze,\tit\twas\tthe\tface\tof\ta\tman\tin\this\tearly\tforties, wearing\ta\tnecktie,\ta\ttuft\tof\thair\tfalling\tacross\this\tforehead. \\\"That's\tme,\\\"\tMorrie\tsaid.\t\\\"A\tfriend\tof\tmine\tsculpted\tthat\tmaybe\tthirty\tyears\tago. His\tname\twas\tNorman.\tWe\tused\tto\tspend\tso\tmuch\ttime\ttogether.\tWe\twent swimming.\tWe\ttook\trides\tto\tNew\tYork.\tHe\thad\tme\tover\tto\this\thouse\tin Cambridge,\tand\the\tsculpted\tthat\tbust\tof\tme\tdown\tin\this\tbasement.\tIt\ttook several\tweeks\tto\tdo\tit,\tbut\the\treally\twanted\tto\tget\tit\tright.\\\" I\tstudied\tthe\tface.\tHow\tstrange\tto\tsee\ta\tthree-dimensional\tMorrie,\tso\thealthy,\tso young,\twatching\tover\tus\tas\twe\tspoke.\tEven\tin\tbronze,\the\thad\ta\twhimsical\tlook, and\tI\tthought\tthis\tfriend\thad\tsculpted\ta\tlittle\tspirit\tas\twell. \\\"Well,\there's\tthe\tsad\tpart\tof\tthe\tstory,\\\"\tMorrie\tsaid.\t\\\"Norman\tand\this\twife\tmoved away\tto\tChicago.\tA\tlittle\twhile\tlater,\tmy\twife,\tCharlotte,\thad\tto\thave\ta\tpretty serious\toperation.\tNorman\tand\this\twife\tnever\tgot\tin\ttouch\twith\tus.\tI\tknow\tthey knew\tabout\tit.\tCharlotte\tand\tI\twere\tvery\thurt\tbecause\tthey\tnever\tcalled\tto\tsee how\tshe\twas.\tSo\twe\tdropped\tthe\trelationship.","\\\"Over\tthe\tyears,\tI\tmet\tNorman\ta\tfew\ttimes\tand\the\talways\ttried\tto\treconcile,\tbut\tI didn't\taccept\tit.\tI\twasn't\tsatisfied\twith\this\texplanation.\tI\twas\tprideful.\tI\tshrugged him\toff.\t\\\" His\tvoice\tchoked. \\\"Mitch\t.\t.\t.\ta\tfew\tyears\tago\t.\t.\t.\the\tdied\tof\tcancer.\tI\tfeel\tso\tsad.\tI\tnever\tgot\tto\tsee him.\tI\tnever\tgot\tto\tforgive.\tIt\tpains\tme\tnow\tso\tmuch\t.\t.\t.\\\" He\twas\tcrying\tagain,\ta\tsoft\tand\tquiet\tcry,\tand\tbecause\this\thead\twas\tback,\tthe tears\trolled\toff\tthe\tside\tof\this\tface\tbefore\tthey\treached\this\tlips. Sorry,\tI\tsaid. \\\"Don't\tbe,\\\"\the\twhispered.\t\\\"Tears\tare\tokay.\\\" I\tcontinued\trubbing\tlotion\tinto\this\tlifeless\ttoes.\tHe\twept\tfor\ta\tfew\tminutes,\talone with\this\tmemories. \\\"It's\tnot\tjust\tother\tpeople\twe\tneed\tto\tforgive,\tMitch,\\\"\the\tfinally\twhispered.\tWe also\tneed\tto\tforgive ourselves.\\\" Ourselves? \\\"Yes.\tFor\tall\tthe\tthings\twe\tdidn't\tdo.\tAll\tthe\tthings\twe\tshould\thave\tdone.\tYou can't\tget\tstuck\ton\tthe\tregrets\tof\twhat\tshould\thave\thappened.\tThat\tdoesn't\thelp you\twhen\tyou\tget\tto\twhere\tI\tam. \\\"I\talways\twished\tI\thad\tdone\tmore\twith\tmy\twork;\tI\twished\tI\thad\twritten\tmore books.\tI\tused\tto\tbeat\tmyself\tup\tover\tit.\tNow\tI\tsee\tthat\tnever\tdid\tany\tgood.\tMake peace.\tYou\tneed\tto\tmake\tpeace\twith\tyourself\tand\teveryone\taround\tyou.\\\"","I\tleaned\tover\tand\tdabbed\tat\tthe\ttears\twith\ta\ttissue.\tMorrie\tflicked\this\teyes\topen and\tclosed.\tHis\tbreathing\twas\taudible,\tlike\ta\tlight\tsnore. \\\"Forgive\tyourself.\tForgive\tothers.\tDon't\twait,\tMitch.\tNot\teveryone\tgets\tthe\ttime I'm\tgetting.\tNot\teveryone\tis\tas\tlucky.\\\" I\ttossed\tthe\ttissue\tinto\tthe\twastebasket\tand\treturned\tto\this\tfeet.\tLucky?\tI\tpressed my\tthumb\tinto\this\thardened\tflesh\tand\the\tdidn't\teven\tfeel\tit. \\\"The\ttension\tof\topposites,\tMitch.\tRemember\tthat?\tThings\tpulling\tin\tdifferent directions?\\\" I\tremember. \\\"I\tmourn\tmy\tdwindling\ttime,\tbut\tI\tcherish\tthe\tchance\tit\tgives\tme\tto\tmake\tthings right.\\\" We\tsat\tthere\tfor\ta\twhile,\tquietly,\tas\tthe\train\tsplattered\tagainst\tthe\twindows.\tThe hibiscus\tplant\tbehind\this\thead\twas\tstill\tholding\ton,\tsmall\tbut\tfirm. \\\"Mitch,\\\"\tMorrie\twhispered. Uh-huh? I\trolled\this\ttoes\tbetween\tmy\tfingers,\tlost\tin\tthe\ttask. \\\"Look\tat\tme.\\\" I\tglanced\tup\tand\tsaw\tthe\tmost\tintense\tlook\tin\this\teyes. \\\"I\tdon't\tknow\twhy\tyou\tcame\tback\tto\tme.\tBut\tI\twant\tto\tsay\tthis\t.\t.\t.","He\tpaused,\tand\this\tvoice\tchoked. \\\"If\tI\tcould\thave\thad\tanother\tson,\tI\twould\thave\tliked\tit\tto\tbe\tyou.\\\" I\tdropped\tmy\teyes,\tkneading\tthe\tdying\tflesh\tof\this\tfeet\tbetween\tmy\tfingers.\tFor a\tmoment,\tI\tfelt\tafraid,\tas\tif\taccepting\this\twords\twould\tsomehow\tbetray\tmy\town father.\tBut\twhen\tI\tlooked\tup,\tI\tsaw\tMorrie\tsmiling\tthrough\ttears\tand\tI\tknew there\twas\tno\tbetrayal\tin\ta\tmoment\tlike\tthis. All\tI\twas\tafraid\tof\twas\tsaying\tgood-bye. \\\"I've\tpicked\ta\tplace\tto\tbe\tburied.\\\" Where\tis\tthat? \\\"Not\tfar\tfrom\there.\tOn\ta\thill,\tbeneath\ta\ttree,\toverlooking\ta\tpond.\tVery\tserene.\tA good\tplace\tto\tthink.\\\" Are\tyou\tplanning\ton\tthinking\tthere? \\\"I'm\tplanning\ton\tbeing\tdead\tthere.\\\" He\tchuckles.\tI\tchuckle. \\\"Will\tyou\tvisit?\\\"\tVisit? `Just\tcome\tand\ttalk.\tMake\tit\ta\tTuesday.\tYou\talways\tcome\ton\tTuesdays.\t\\\" We're\tTuesday\tpeople. \\\"Right.\tTuesday\tpeople.\tCome\tto\ttalk,\tthen?\\\"","He\thas\tgrown\tso\tweak\tso\tfast. \\\"Look\tat\tme,\\\"\the\tsays. I'm\tlooking. \\\"You'll\tcome\tto\tmy\tgrave?\tTo\ttell\tme\tyour\tproblems?\\\" My\tproblems? \\\"Yes.' And\tyou'll\tgive\tme\tanswers? \\\"I'll\tgive\tyou\twhat\tI\tcan.\tDon't\tI\talways?\\\" I\tpicture\this\tgrave,\ton\tthe\thill,\toverlooking\tthe\tpond,\tsome\tlittle\tnine\tfoot\tpiece of\tearth\twhere\tthey\twill\tplace\thim,\tcover\thim\twith\tdirt,\tput\ta\tstone\ton\ttop. Maybe\tin\ta\tfew\tweeks?\tMaybe\tin\ta\tfew\tdays?\tI\tsee\tmysef\tsitting\tthere\talone, arms\tacross\tmy\tknees,\tstaring\tinto\tspace. It\twon't\tbe\tthe\tsame,\tI\tsay,\tnot\tbeing\table\tto\thear\tyou\ttalk. \\\"Ah,\ttalk\t.\t.\t.\t\\\" He\tcloses\this\teyes\tand\tsmiles. \\\"Tell\tyou\twhat.\tAfter\tI'm\tdead,\tyou\ttalk.\tAnd\tI'll\tlisten.\\\" The\tThirteenth\tTuesday\tWe\tTalk\tAbout\tthe\tPerfect\tDay","Morrie\twanted\tto\tbe\tcremated.\tHe\thad\tdiscussed\tit\twith\tCharlotte,\tand\tthey decided\tit\twas\tthe\tbest\tway.\tThe\trabbi\tfrom\tBrandeis,\tAl\tAxelrad-a\tlongtime friend\twhom\tthey\tchose\tto\tconduct\tthe\tfuneral\tservice-had\tcome\tto\tvisit\tMorrie, and\tMorrie\ttold\thim\tof\this\tcremation\tplans. \\\"And\tAl?\\\" \\\"Yes?\\\" \\\"Make\tsure\tthey\tdon't\tovercook\tme.\\\" The\trabbi\twas\tstunned.\tBut\tMorrie\twas\table\tto\tjoke\tabout\this\tbody\tnow.\tThe closer\the\tgot\tto\tthe\tend,\tthe\tmore\the\tsaw\tit\tas\ta\tmere\tshell,\ta\tcontainer\tof\tthe soul.\tIt\twas\twithering\tto\tuseless\tskin\tand\tbones\tanyhow,\twhich\tmade\tit\teasier\tto let\tgo. \\\"We\tare\tso\tafraid\tof\tthe\tsight\tof\tdeath,\\\"\tMorrie\ttold\tme\twhen\tI\tsat\tdown.\tI adjusted\tthe\tmicrophone\ton\this\tcollar,\tbut\tit\tkept\tflopping\tover.\tMorrie\tcoughed. He\twas\tcoughing\tall\tthe\ttime\tnow. \\\"I\tread\ta\tbook\tthe\tother\tday.\tIt\tsaid\tas\tsoon\tas\tsomeone\tdies\tin\ta\thospital,\tthey pull\tthe\tsheets\tup\tover\ttheir\thead,\tand\tthey\twheel\tthe\tbody\tto\tsome\tchute\tand push\tit\tdown.\tThey\tcan't\twait\tto\tget\tit\tout\tof\ttheir\tsight.\tPeople\tact\tas\tif\tdeath\tis contagious.\\\" I\tfumbled\twith\tthe\tmicrophone.\tMorrie\tglanced\tat\tmy\thands. \\\"It's\tnot\tcontagious,\tyou\tknow.\tDeath\tis\tas\tnatural\tas\tlife.\tIt's\tpart\tof\tthe\tdeal\twe made.\\\" He\tcoughed\tagain,\tand\tI\tmoved\tback\tand\twaited,\talways\tbraced\tfor\tsomething serious.\tMorrie\thad\tbeen\thaving\tbad\tnights\tlately.\tFrightening\tnights.\tHe\tcould sleep\tonly\ta\tfew\thours\tat\ta\ttime\tbefore\tviolent\thacking\tspells\twoke\thim.\tThe nurses\twould\tcome\tinto\tthe\tbedroom,\tpound\thim\ton\tthe\tback,\ttry\tto\tbring\tup\tthe","poison.\tEven\tif\tthey\tgot\thim\tbreathing\tnormally\tagain-\\\"normally\\\"\tmeaning\twith the\thelp\tof\tthe\toxygen\tmachine--the\tfight\tleft\thim\tfatigued\tthe\twhole\tnext\tday. The\toxygen\ttube\twas\tup\this\tnose\tnow.\tI\thated\tthe\tsight\tof\tit.\tTo\tme,\tit symbolized\thelplessness.\tI\twanted\tto\tpull\tit\tout. \\\"Last\tnight\t.\t.\t.\\\"\tMorrie\tsaid\tsoftly.\tYes?\tLast\tnight? \\\".\t.\t.\tI\thad\ta\tterrible\tspell.\tIt\twent\ton\tfor\thours.\tAnd\tI\treally\twasn't\tsure\tI\twas going\tto\tmake\tit.\tNo\tbreath.\tNo\tend\tto\tthe\tchoking.\tAt\tone\tpoint,\tI\tstarted\tto\tget dizzy .\t.\t.\tand\tthen\tI\tfelt\ta\tcertain\tpeace,\tI\tfelt\tthat\tI\twas\tready\tto\tgo.\\\" His\teyes\twidened.\t\\\"Mitch,\tit\twas\ta\tmost\tincredible\tfeeling.\tThe\tsensation\tof accepting\twhat\twas\thappening,\tbeing\tat\tpeace.\tI\twas\tthinking\tabout\ta\tdream\tI had\tlast\tweek,\twhere\tI\twas\tcrossing\ta\tbridge\tinto\tsomething\tunknown.\tBeing ready\tto\tmove\ton\tto\twhatever\tis\tnext.\\\" But\tyou\tdidn't. Morrie\twaited\ta\tmoment.\tHe\tshook\this\thead\tslightly.\t\\\"No,\tI\tdidn't.\tBut\tI\tfelt\tthat I\tcould.\tDo\tyou\tunderstand? \\\"That's\twhat\twe're\tall\tlooking\tfor.\tA\tcertain\tpeace\twith\tthe\tidea\tof\tdying.\tIf\twe know,\tin\tthe\tend,\tthat\twe\tcan\tultimately\thave\tthat\tpeace\twith\tdying,\tthen\twe\tcan finally\tdo\tthe\treally\thard\tthing.\\\" Which\tis? \\\"Make\tpeace\twith\tliving.\\\" He\tasked\tto\tsee\tthe\thibiscus\tplant\ton\tthe\tledge\tbehind\thim.\tI\tcupped\tit\tin\tmy hand\tand\theld\tit\tup\tnear\this\teyes.\tHe\tsmiled.","\\\"It's\tnatural\tto\tdie,\\\"\the\tsaid\tagain.\t\\\"The\tfact\tthat\twe\tmake\tsuch\ta\tbig\thullabaloo over\tit\tis\tall\tbecause\twe\tdon't\tsee\tourselves\tas\tpart\tof\tnature.\tWe\tthink\tbecause we're\thuman\twe're\tsomething\tabove\tnature.\\\" He\tsmiled\tat\tthe\tplant. \\\"We're\tnot.\tEverything\tthat\tgets\tborn,\tdies.\\\"\tHe\tlooked\tat\tme. \\\"Do\tyou\taccept\tthat?\\\"\tYes. \\\"All\tright,\\\"\the\twhispered,\t\\\"now\there's\tthe\tpayoff.\tHere\tis\thow\twe\tare\tdifferent from\tthese\twonderful\tplants\tand\tanimals. \\\"As\tlong\tas\twe\tcan\tlove\teach\tother,\tand\tremember\tthe\tfeeling\tof\tlove\twe\thad, we\tcan\tdie\twithout\tever\treally\tgoing\taway.\tAll\tthe\tlove\tyou\tcreated\tis\tstill\tthere. All\tthe\tmemories\tare\tstill\tthere.\tYou\tlive\ton-in\tthe\thearts\tof\teveryone\tyou\thave touched\tand\tnurtured\twhile\tyou\twere\there.\\\" His\tvoice\twas\traspy,\twhich\tusually\tmeant\the\tneeded\tto\tstop\tfor\ta\twhile.\tI\tplaced the\tplant\tback\ton\tthe\tledge\tand\twent\tto\tshut\toff\tthe\ttape\trecorder.\tThis\tis\tthe\tlast sentence\tMorrie\tgot\tout\tbefore\tI\tdid: \\\"Death\tends\ta\tlife,\tnot\ta\trelationship.\\\" There\thad\tbeen\ta\tdevelopment\tin\tthe\ttreatment\tof\tALS:\tan\texperimental\tdrug that\twas\tjust\tgaining\tpassage.\tIt\twas\tnot\ta\tcure,\tbut\ta\tdelay,\ta\tslowing\tof\tthe decay\tfor\tperhaps\ta\tfew\tmonths.\tMorrie\thad\theard\tabout\tit,\tbut\the\twas\ttoo\tfar gone.\tBesides,\tthe\tmedicine\twouldn't\tbe\tavailable\tfor\tseveral\tmonths. \\\"Not\tfor\tme,\\\"\tMorrie\tsaid,\tdismissing\tit. In\tall\tthe\ttime\the\twas\tsick,\tMorrie\tnever\theld\tout\thope\the\twould\tbe\tcured.\tHe was\trealistic\tto\ta\tfault.\tOne\ttime,\tI\tasked\tif\tsomeone\twere\tto\twave\ta\tmagic\twand","and\tmake\thim\tall\tbetter,\twould\the\tbecome,\tin\ttime,\tthe\tman\the\thad\tbeen\tbefore? He\tshook\this\thead.\t\\\"No\tway\tI\tcould\tgo\tback.\tI\tam\ta\tdifferent\tself\tnow.\tI'm different\tin\tmy\tattitudes.\tI'm\tdifferent\tappreciating\tmy\tbody,\twhich\tI\tdidn't\tdo fully\tbefore.\tI'm\tdifferent\tin\tterms\tof\ttrying\tto\tgrapple\twith\tthe\tbig\tquestions,\tthe ultimate\tquestions,\tthe\tones\tthat\twon't\tgo\taway. \\\"That's\tthe\tthing,\tyou\tsee.\tOnce\tyou\tget\tyour\tfingers\ton\tthe\timportant\tquestions, you\tcan't\tturn\taway\tfrom\tthem.\\\" And\twhich\tare\tthe\timportant\tquestions? \\\"As\tI\tsee\tit,\tthey\thave\tto\tdo\twith\tlove,\tresponsibility,\tspirituality,\tawareness. And\tif\tI\twere\thealthy\ttoday,\tthose\twould\tstill\tbe\tmy\tissues.\tThey\tshould\thave been\tall\talong.\\\" I\ttried\tto\timagine\tMorrie\thealthy.\tI\ttried\tto\timagine\thim\tpulling\tthe\tcovers\tfrom his\tbody,\tstepping\tfrom\tthat\tchair,\tthe\ttwo\tof\tus\tgoing\tfor\ta\twalk\taround\tthe neighborhood,\tthe\tway\twe\tused\tto\twalk\taround\tcampus.\tI\tsuddenly\trealized\tit had\tbeen\tsixteen\tyears\tsince\tI'd\tseen\thim\tstanding\tup.\tSixteen\tyears? What\tif\tyou\thad\tone\tday\tperfectly\thealthy,\tI\tasked?\tWhat\twould\tyou\tdo? \\\"Twenty-four\thours?\\\"\tTwenty-four\thours. \\\"Let's\tsee\t.\t.\t.\tI'd\tget\tup\tin\tthe\tmorning,\tdo\tmy\texercises,\thave\ta\tlovely\tbreakfast of\tsweet\trolls\tand\ttea,\tgo\tfor\ta\tswim,\tthen\thave\tmy\tfriends\tcome\tover\tfor\ta\tnice lunch.\tI'd\thave\tthem\tcome\tone\tor\ttwo\tat\ta\ttime\tso\twe\tcould\ttalk\tabout\ttheir families,\ttheir\tissues,\ttalk\tabout\thow\tmuch\twe\tmean\tto\teach\tother. \\\"Then\tI'd\tlike\tto\tgo\tfor\ta\twalk,\tin\ta\tgarden\twith\tsome\ttrees,\twatch\ttheir\tcolors, watch\tthe\tbirds,\ttake\tin\tthe\tnature\tthat\tI\thaven't\tseen\tin\tso\tlong\tnow. \\\"In\tthe\tevening,\twe'd\tall\tgo\ttogether\tto\ta\trestaurant\twith\tsome\tgreat\tpasta,","maybe\tsome\tduck-I\tlove\tduckand\tthen\twe'd\tdance\tthe\trest\tof\tthe\tnight.\tI'd\tdance with\tall\tthe\twonderful\tdance\tpartners\tout\tthere,\tuntil\tI\twas\texhausted.\tAnd\tthen I'd\tgo\thome\tand\thave\ta\tdeep,\twonderful\tsleep.\\\" That's\tit? \\\"That's\tit.\\\" It\twas\tso\tsimple.\tSo\taverage.\tI\twas\tactually\ta\tlittle\tdisappointed.\tI\tfigured\the'd fly\tto\tItaly\tor\thave\tlunch\twith\tthe\tPresident\tor\tromp\ton\tthe\tseashore\tor\ttry\tevery exotic\tthing\the\tcould\tthink\tof.\tAfter\tall\tthese\tmonths,\tlying\tthere,\tunable\tto move\ta\tleg\tor\ta\tfoot-how\tcould\the\tfind\tperfection\tin\tsuch\tan\taverage\tday? Then\tI\trealized\tthis\twas\tthe\twhole\tpoint. Before\tI\tleft\tthat\tday,\tMorrie\tasked\tif\the\tcould\tbring\tup\ta\ttopic. \\\"Your\tbrother,\\\"\the\tsaid. I\tfelt\ta\tshiver.\tI\tdo\tnot\tknow\thow\tMorrie\tknew\tthis\twas\ton\tmy\tmind.\tI\thad\tbeen trying\tto\tcall\tmy\tbrother\tin\tSpain\tfor\tweeks,\tand\thad\tlearned-from\ta\tfriend\tof histhat\the\twas\tflying\tback\tand\tforth\tto\ta\thospital\tin\tAmsterdam. \\\"Mitch,\tI\tknow\tit\thurts\twhen\tyou\tcan't\tbe\twith\tsomeone\tyou\tlove.\tBut\tyou\tneed to\tbe\tat\tpeace\twith\this\tdesires.\tMaybe\the\tdoesn't\twant\tyou\tinterrupting\tyour\tlife. Maybe\the\tcan't\tdeal\twith\tthat\tburden.\tI\ttell\teveryone\tI\tknow\tto\tcarry\ton\twith\tthe life\tthey\tknow-don't\truin\tit\tbecause\tI\tam\tdying.\\\" But\the's\tmy\tbrother,\tI\tsaid. \\\"I\tknow,\\\"\tMorrie\tsaid.\t\\\"That's\twhy\tit\thurts.\\\" I\tsaw\tPeter\tin\tmy\tmind\twhen\the\twas\teight\tyears\told,\this\tcurly\tblond\thair\tpuffed","into\ta\tsweaty\tball\tatop\this\thead.\tI\tsaw\tus\twrestling\tin\tthe\tyard\tnext\tto\tour\thouse, the\tgrass\tstains\tsoaking\tthrough\tthe\tknees\tof\tour\tjeans.\tI\tsaw\thim\tsinging\tsongs in\tfront\tof\tthe\tmirror,\tholding\ta\tbrush\tas\ta\tmicrophone,\tand\tI\tsaw\tus\tsqueezing into\tthe\tattic\twhere\twe\thid\ttogether\tas\tchildren,\ttesting\tour\tparents'\twill\tto\tfind us\tfor\tdinner. And\tthen\tI\tsaw\thim\tas\tthe\tadult\twho\thad\tdrifted\taway,\tthin\tand\tfrail,\this\tface bony\tfrom\tthe\tchemotherapy\ttreatments. Morrie,\tI\tsaid.\tWhy\tdoesn't\the\twant\tto\tsee\tme? My\told\tprofessor\tsighed.\t\\\"There\tis\tno\tformula\tto\trelationships.\tThey\thave\tto\tbe negotiated\tin\tloving\tways,\twith\troom\tfor\tboth\tparties,\twhat\tthey\twant\tand\twhat they\tneed,\twhat\tthey\tcan\tdo\tand\twhat\ttheir\tlife\tis\tlike. \\\"In\tbusiness,\tpeople\tnegotiate\tto\twin.\tThey\tnegotiate\tto\tget\twhat\tthey\twant. Maybe\tyou're\ttoo\tused\tto\tthat.\tLove\tis\tdifferent.\tLove\tis\twhen\tyou\tare\tas concerned\tabout\tsomeone\telse's\tsituation\tas\tyou\tare\tabout\tyour\town. \\\"You've\thad\tthese\tspecial\ttimes\twith\tyour\tbrother,\tand\tyou\tno\tlonger\thave\twhat you\thad\twith\thim.\tYou\twant\tthem\tback.\tYou\tnever\twant\tthem\tto\tstop.\tBut\tthat's part\tof\tbeing\thuman.\tStop,\trenew,\tstop,\trenew.\\\" I\tlooked\tat\thim.\tI\tsaw\tall\tthe\tdeath\tin\tthe\tworld.\tI\tfelt\thelpless. \\\"You'll\tfind\ta\tway\tback\tto\tyour\tbrother,\\\"\tMorrie\tsaid. How\tdo\tyou\tknow? Morrie\tsmiled.\t\\\"You\tfound\tme,\tdidn't\tyou?\\\" \\\"I\theard\ta\tnice\tlittle\tstory\tthe\tother\tday,\\\"\tMorrie\tsays.\tHe\tcloses\this\teyes\tfor\ta moment\tand\tI\twait.","\\\"Okay.\tThe\tstory\tis\tabout\ta\tlittle\twave,\tbobbing\talong\tin\tthe\tocean,\thaving\ta grand\told\ttime.\tHe's\tenjoying\tthe\twind\tand\tthe\tfresh\tair-until\the\tnotices\tthe\tother waves\tin\tfront\tof\thim,\tcrashing\tagainst\tthe\tshore. \\\"\t`My\tGod,\tthis\tis\tterrible,'\tthe\twave\tsays.\t`Look\twhat's\tgoing\tto\thappen\tto\tme!' \\\"Then\talong\tcomes\tanother\twave.\tIt\tsees\tthe\tfirst\twave,\tlooking\tgrim,\tand\tit\tsays to\thim,\t`Why\tdo\tyou\tlook\tso\tsad?' \\\"The\tfirst\twave\tsays,\t\t\t`You\tdon't\tunderstand!\tWe're\tall\tgoing\tto\tcrash!\tAll\tof\tus waves\tare\tgoing\tto\tbe\tnothing!\tIsn't\tit\tterrible?' \\\"The\tsecond\twave\tsays,\t`No,\tyou\tdon't\tunderstand.\tYou're\tnot\ta\twave,\tyou're part\tof\tthe\tocean.'\t\\\" I\tsmile.\tMorrie\tcloses\this\teyes\tagain. \\\"Part\tof\tthe\tocean,\t\\\"\the\tsays,\t\\\"part\tof\tthe\tocean.\t\\\"\tI\twatch\thim\tbreathe,\tin\tand out,\tin\tand\tout. The\tFourteenth\tTuesday\tWe\tSay\tGood-bye It\twas\tcold\tand\tdamp\tas\tI\twalked\tup\tthe\tsteps\tto\tMorrie's\thouse.\tI\ttook\tin\tlittle details,\tthings\tI\thadn't\tnoticed\tfor\tall\tthe\ttimes\tI'd\tvisited.\tThe\tcut\tof\tthe\thill.\tThe stone\tfacade\tof\tthe\thouse.\tThe\tpachysandra\tplants,\tthe\tlow\tshrubs.\tI\twalked slowly,\ttaking\tmy\ttime,\tstepping\ton\tdead\twet\tleaves\tthat\tflattened\tbeneath\tmy feet. Charlotte\thad\tcalled\tthe\tday\tbefore\tto\ttell\tme\tMorrie\twas\tnot\tdoing\twell.\\\"\tThis","was\ther\tway\tof\tsaying\tthe\tfinal\tdays\thad\tarrived.\tMorrie\thad\tcanceled\tall\tof\this appointments\tand\thad\tbeen\tsleeping\tmuch\tof\tthe\ttime,\twhich\twas\tunlike\thim. He\tnever\tcared\tfor\tsleeping,\tnot\twhen\tthere\twere\tpeople\the\tcould\ttalk\twith. \\\"He\twants\tyou\tto\tcome\tvisit,\\\"\tCharlotte\tsaid,\t\\\"but,\tMitch\t.\t.\t.\\\" Yes? \\\"He's\tvery\tweak.\\\" The\tporch\tsteps.\tThe\tglass\tin\tthe\tfront\tdoor.\tI\tabsorbed\tthese\tthings\tin\ta\tslow, observant\tmanner,\tas\tif\tseeing\tthem\tfor\tthe\tfirst\ttime.\tI\tfelt\tthe\ttape\trecorder\tin the\tbag\ton\tmy\tshoulder,\tand\tI\tunzipped\tit\tto\tmake\tsure\tI\thad\ttapes.\tI\tdon't\tknow why.\tI\talways\thad\ttapes. Connie\tanswered\tthe\tbell.\tNormally\tbuoyant,\tshe\thad\ta\tdrawn\tlook\ton\ther\tface. Her\thello\twas\tsoftly\tspoken. \\\"How's\the\tdoing?\\\"\tI\tsaid. \\\"Not\tso\tgood.\\\"\tShe\tbit\ther\tlower\tlip.\t\\\"I\tdon't\tlike\tto\tthink\tabout\tit.\tHe's\tsuch\ta sweet\tman,\tyou\tknow?\\\" I\tknew. \\\"This\tis\tsuch\ta\tshame.\\\" Charlotte\tcame\tdown\tthe\thall\tand\thugged\tme.\tShe\tsaid\tthat\tMorrie\twas\tstill sleeping,\teven\tthough\tit\twas\t10\tA.M.\tWe\twent\tinto\tthe\tkitchen.\tI\thelped\ther straighten\tup,\tnoticing\tall\tthe\tbottles\tof\tpills,\tlined\tup\ton\tthe\ttable,\ta\tsmall\tarmy of\tbrown\tplastic\tsoldiers\twith\twhite\tcaps.\tMy\told\tprofessor\twas\ttaking\tmorphine now\tto\tease\this\tbreathing. I\tput\tthe\tfood\tI\thad\tbrought\twith\tme\tinto\tthe\trefrigerator-soup,\tvegetable\tcakes,","tuna\tsalad.\tI\tapologized\tto\tCharlotte\tfor\tbringing\tit.\tMorrie\thadn't\tchewed\tfood like\tthis\tin\tmonths,\twe\tboth\tknew\tthat,\tbut\tit\thad\tbecome\ta\tsmall\ttradition. Sometimes,\twhen\tyou're\tlosing\tsomeone,\tyou\thang\ton\tto\twhatever\ttradition\tyou can. I\twaited\tin\tthe\tliving\troom,\twhere\tMorrie\tand\tTed\tKoppel\thad\tdone\ttheir\tfirst interview.\tI\tread\tthe\tnewspaper\tthat\twas\tlying\ton\tthe\ttable.\tTwo\tMinnesota children\thad\tshot\teach\tother\tplaying\twith\ttheir\tfathers'\tguns.\tA\tbaby\thad\tbeen found\tburied\tin\ta\tgarbage\tcan\tin\tan\talley\tin\tLos\tAngeles. I\tput\tdown\tthe\tpaper\tand\tstared\tinto\tthe\tempty\tfireplace.\tI\ttapped\tmy\tshoe lightly\ton\tthe\thardwood\tfloor.\tEventually,\tI\theard\ta\tdoor\topen\tand\tclose,\tthen Charlotte's\tfootsteps\tcoming\ttoward\tme. \\\"All\tright,\\\"\tshe\tsaid\tsoftly.\t\\\"He's\tready\tfor\tyou.\\\" I\trose\tand\tI\tturned\ttoward\tour\tfamiliar\tspot,\tthen\tsaw\ta\tstrange\twoman\tsitting\tat the\tend\tof\tthe\thall\tin\ta\tfolding\tchair,\ther\teyes\ton\ta\tbook,\ther\tlegs\tcrossed.\tThis was\ta\thospice\tnurse,\tpart\tof\tthe\ttwenty-four-hour\twatch. Morrie's\tstudy\twas\tempty.\tI\twas\tconfused.\tThen\tI\tturned\tback\thesitantly\tto\tthe bedroom,\tand\tthere\the\twas,\tlying\tin\tbed,\tunder\tthe\tsheet.\tI\thad\tseen\thim\tlike\tthis only\tone\tother\ttime-when\the\twas\tgetting\tmassaged-and\tthe\techo\tof\this\taphorism \\\"When\tyou're\tin\tbed,\tyou're\tdead\\\"\tbegan\tanew\tinside\tmy\thead. I\tentered,\tpushing\ta\tsmile\tonto\tmy\tface.\tHe\twore\ta\tyellow\tpajama-like\ttop,\tand\ta blanket\tcovered\thim\tfrom\tthe\tchest\tdown.\tThe\tlump\tof\this\tform\twas\tso\twithered that\tI\talmost\tthought\tthere\twas\tsomething\tmissing.\tHe\twas\tas\tsmall\tas\ta\tchild. Morrie's\tmouth\twas\topen,\tand\this\tskin\twas\tpale\tand\ttight\tagainst\this cheekbones.\tWhen\this\teyes\trolled\ttoward\tme,\the\ttried\tto\tspeak,\tbut\tI\theard\tonly a\tsoft\tgrunt. There\the\tis,\tI\tsaid,\tmustering\tall\tthe\texcitement\tI\tcould\tfind\tin\tmy\tempty\ttill.","He\texhaled,\tshut\this\teyes,\tthen\tsmiled,\tthe\tvery\teffort\tseeming\tto\ttire\thim. \\\"My\t.\t.\t.\tdear\tfriend\t.\t.\t.\\\"\the\tfinally\tsaid. I\tam\tyour\tfriend,\tI\tsaid. \\\"I'm\tnot\t.\t.\t.\tso\tgood\ttoday\t.\t.\t.\\\"\tTomorrow\twill\tbe\tbetter. He\tpushed\tout\tanother\tbreath\tand\tforced\ta\tnod.\tHe\twas\tstruggling\twith something\tbeneath\tthe\tsheets,\tand\tI\trealized\the\twas\ttrying\tto\tmove\this\thands toward\tthe\topening. \\\"Hold\t.\t.\t.\\\"\the\tsaid. I\tpulled\tthe\tcovers\tdown\tand\tgrasped\this\tfingers.\tThey\tdisappeared\tinside\tmy own.\tI\tleaned\tin\tclose,\ta\tfew\tinches\tfrom\this\tface.\tIt\twas\tthe\tfirst\ttime\tI\thad\tseen him\tunshaven,\tthe\tsmall\twhite\twhiskers\tlooking\tso\tout\tof\tplace,\tas\tif\tsomeone had\tshaken\tsalt\tneatly\tacross\this\tcheeks\tand\tchin.\tHow\tcould\tthere\tbe\tnew\tlife\tin his\tbeard\twhen\tit\twas\tdraining\teverywhere\telse? Morrie,\tI\tsaid\tsoftly.\t\\\"Coach,\\\"\the\tcorrected. Coach,\tI\tsaid.\tI\tfelt\ta\tshiver.\tHe\tspoke\tin\tshort\tbursts,\tinhaling\tair,\texhaling words.\tHis\tvoice\twas\tthin\tand\traspy.\tHe\tsmelled\tof\tointment. \\\"You\t.\t.\t.\tare\ta\tgood\tsoul.\\\"\tA\tgood\tsoul. \\\"Touched\tme\t.\t.\t.\\\"\the\twhispered.\tHe\tmoved\tmy\thands\tto\this\theart.\t\\\"Here.\\\" It\tfelt\tas\tif\tI\thad\ta\tpit\tin\tmy\tthroat.\tCoach? \\\"Ahh?\\\"","I\tdon't\tknow\thow\tto\tsay\tgood-bye. He\tpatted\tmy\thand\tweakly,\tkeeping\tit\ton\this\tchest. \\\"This\t.\t.\t.\tis\thow\twe\tsay\t.\t.\t.\tgood-bye\t.\t.\t.\\\" He\tbreathed\tsoftly,\tin\tand\tout,\tI\tcould\tfeel\this\tribcage\trise\tand\tfall.\tThen\the looked\tright\tat\tme. \\\"Love\t.\t.\t.\tyou,\\\"\the\trasped. I\tlove\tyou,\ttoo,\tCoach. \\\"Know\tyou\tdo\t.\t.\t.\tknow\t.\t.\t.\tsomething\telse...\\\" What\telse\tdo\tyou\tknow? \\\"You\t.\t.\t.\talways\thave\t.\t.\t. His\teyes\tgot\tsmall,\tand\tthen\the\tcried,\this\tface\tcontorting\tlike\ta\tbaby\twho\thasn't figured\thow\this\ttear\tducts\twork.\tI\theld\thim\tclose\tfor\tseveral\tminutes.\tI\trubbed his\tloose\tskin.\tI\tstroked\this\thair.\tI\tput\ta\tpalm\tagainst\this\tface\tand\tfelt\tthe\tbones close\tto\tthe\tflesh\tand\tthe\ttiny\twet\ttears,\tas\tif\tsqueezed\tfrom\ta\tdropper. When\this\tbreathing\tapproached\tnormal\tagain,\tI\tcleared\tmy\tthroat\tand\tsaid\tI knew\the\twas\ttired,\tso\tI\twould\tbe\tback\tnext\tTuesday,\tand\tI\texpected\thim\tto\tbe\ta little\tmore\talert,\tthank\tyou.\tHe\tsnorted\tlightly,\tas\tclose\tas\the\tcould\tcome\tto\ta laugh.\tIt\twas\ta\tsad\tsound\tjust\tthe\tsame. I\tpicked\tup\tthe\tunopened\tbag\twith\tthe\ttape\trecorder.\tWhy\thad\tI\teven\tbrought this?\tI\tknew\twe\twould\tnever\tuse\tit.\tI\tleaned\tin\tand\tkissed\thim\tclosely,\tmy\tface against\this,\twhiskers\ton\twhiskers,\tskin\ton\tskin,\tholding\tit\tthere,\tlonger\tthan normal,\tin\tcase\tit\tgave\thim\teven\ta\tsplit\tsecond\tof\tpleasure.","Okay,\tthen?\tI\tsaid,\tpulling\taway. I\tblinked\tback\tthe\ttears,\tand\the\tsmacked\this\tlips\ttogether\tand\traised\this eyebrows\tat\tthe\tsight\tof\tmy\tface.\tI\tlike\tto\tthink\tit\twas\ta\tfleeting\tmoment\tof satisfaction\tfor\tmy\tdear\told\tprofessor:\the\thad\tfinally\tmade\tme\tcry. \\\"Okay,\tthen,\\\"\the\twhispered.","Graduation Morrie\tdied\ton\ta\tSaturday\tmorning. His\timmediate\tfamily\twas\twith\thim\tin\tthe\thouse.\tRob\tmade\tit\tin\tfrom\tTokyo-he got\tto\tkiss\this\tfather\tgood-bye-and\tJon\twas\tthere,\tand\tof\tcourse\tCharlotte\twas there\tand\tCharlotte's\tcousin\tMarsha,\twho\thad\twritten\tthe\tpoem\tthat\tso\tmoved Morrie\tat\this\t\\\"unofficial\\\"\tmemorial\tservice,\tthe\tpoem\tthat\tlikened\thim\tto\ta \\\"tender\tsequoia.\\\"\tThey\tslept\tin\tshifts\taround\this\tbed.\tMorrie\thad\tfallen\tinto\ta coma\ttwo\tdays\tafter\tour\tfinal\tvisit,\tand\tthe\tdoctor\tsaid\the\tcould\tgo\tat\tany moment.\tInstead,\the\thung\ton,\tthrough\ta\ttough\tafternoon,\tthrough\ta\tdark\tnight. Finally,\ton\tthe\tfourth\tof\tNovember,\twhen\tthose\the\tloved\thad\tleft\tthe\troom\tjust for\ta\tmoment-to\tgrab\tcoffee\tin\tthe\tkitchen,\tthe\tfirst\ttime\tnone\tof\tthem\twere\twith him\tsince\tthe\tcoma\tbegan-Morrie\tstopped\tbreathing. And\the\twas\tgone. I\tbelieve\the\tdied\tthis\tway\ton\tpurpose.\tI\tbelieve\the\twanted\tno\tchilling\tmoments, no\tone\tto\twitness\this\tlast\tbreath\tand\tbe\thaunted\tby\tit,\tthe\tway\the\thad\tbeen haunted\tby\this\tmother's\tdeath-notice\ttelegram\tor\tby\this\tfather's\tcorpse\tin\tthe\tcity morgue. I\tbelieve\the\tknew\tthat\the\twas\tin\this\town\tbed,\tthat\this\tbooks\tand\this\tnotes\tand his\tsmall\thibiscus\tplant\twere\tnearby.\tHe\twanted\tto\tgo\tserenely,\tand\tthat\tis\thow he\twent. The\tfuneral\twas\theld\ton\ta\tdamp,\twindy\tmorning.\tThe\tgrass\twas\twet\tand\tthe\tsky was\tthe\tcolor\tof\tmilk.\tWe\tstood\tby\tthe\thole\tin\tthe\tearth,\tclose\tenough\tto\thear\tthe pond\twater\tlapping\tagainst\tthe\tedge\tand\tto\tsee\tducks\tshaking\toff\ttheir\tfeathers. Although\thundreds\tof\tpeople\thad\twanted\tto\tattend,\tCharlotte\tkept\tthis\tgathering small,\tjust\ta\tfew\tclose\tfriends\tand\trelatives.\tRabbi\tAxelrod\tread\ta\tfew\tpoems.","Morrie's\tbrother,\tDavid-who\tstill\twalked\twith\ta\tlimp\tfrom\this\tchildhood\tpolio lifted\tthe\tshovel\tand\ttossed\tdirt\tin\tthe\tgrave,\tas\tper\ttradition. At\tone\tpoint,\twhen\tMorrie's\tashes\twere\tplaced\tinto\tthe\tground,\tI\tglanced\taround the\tcemetery.\tMorrie\twas\tright.\tIt\twas\tindeed\ta\tlovely\tspot,\ttrees\tand\tgrass\tand\ta sloping\thill. \\\"You\ttalk,\tI'll\tlisten,\t\\\"\the\thad\tsaid. I\ttried\tdoing\tthat\tin\tmy\thead\tand,\tto\tmy\thappiness,\tfound\tthat\tthe\timagined conversation\tfelt\talmost\tnatural.\tI\tlooked\tdown\tat\tmy\thands,\tsaw\tmy\twatch\tand realized\twhy. It\twas\tTuesday. \\\"My\tfather\tmoved\tthrough\ttheys\tof\twe, singing\teach\tnew\tleaf\tout\tof\teach\ttree (and\tevery\tchild\twas\tsure\tthat\tspring danced\twhen\tshe\theard\tmy\tfather\tsing)\t.\t.\t.\t\\\" --POEM\tBY\tE.\tE.\tCUMMINGS,\tREAD\tBY\tMORRIE\t'S\tSON,\tROB,\tAT\tTHE MEMORIAL\tSERVICE","Conclusion I\tlook\tback\tsometimes\tat\tthe\tperson\tI\twas\tbefore\tI\trediscovered\tmy\told professor.\tI\twant\tto\ttalk\tto\tthat\tperson.\tI\twant\tto\ttell\thim\twhat\tto\tlook\tout\tfor, what\tmistakes\tto\tavoid.\tI\twant\tto\ttell\thim\tto\tbe\tmore\topen,\tto\tignore\tthe\tlure\tof advertised\tvalues,\tto\tpay\tattention\twhen\tyour\tloved\tones\tare\tspeaking,\tas\tif\tit were\tthe\tlast\ttime\tyou\tmight\thear\tthem. Mostly\tI\twant\tto\ttell\tthat\tperson\tto\tget\ton\tan\tairplane\tand\tvisit\ta\tgentle\told\tman in\tWest\tNewton,\tMassachusetts,\tsooner\trather\tthan\tlater,\tbefore\tthat\told\tman gets\tsick\tand\tloses\this\tability\tto\tdance. I\tknow\tI\tcannot\tdo\tthis.\tNone\tof\tus\tcan\tundo\twhat\twe've\tdone,\tor\trelive\ta\tlife already\trecorded.\tBut\tif\tProfessor\tMorris\tSchwartz\ttaught\tme\tanything\tat\tall,\tit was\tthis:\tthere\tis\tno\tsuch\tthing\tas\t\\\"too\tlate\\\"\tin\tlife.\tHe\twas\tchanging\tuntil\tthe day\the\tsaid\tgood-bye. Not\tlong\tafter\tMorrie's\tdeath,\tI\treached\tmy\tbrother\tin\tSpain.\tWe\thad\ta\tlong\ttalk. I\ttold\thim\tI\trespected\this\tdistance,\tand\tthat\tall\tI\twanted\twas\tto\tbe\tin\ttouch-in\tthe present,\tnot\tjust\tthe\tpast-to\thold\thim\tin\tmy\tlife\tas\tmuch\tas\the\tcould\tlet\tme. \\\"You're\tmy\tonly\tbrother,\\\"\tI\tsaid.\t\\\"I\tdon't\twant\tto\tlose\tyou.\tI\tlove\tyou.\\\" I\thad\tnever\tsaid\tsuch\ta\tthing\tto\thim\tbefore. A\tfew\tdays\tlater,\tI\treceived\ta\tmessage\ton\tmy\tfax\tmachine.\tIt\twas\ttyped\tin\tthe sprawling,\tpoorly\tpunctuated,\tall-cap-letters\tfashion\tthat\talways\tcharacterized my\tbrother's\twords. \\\"HI\tI'VE\tJOINED\tTHE\tNINETIES!\\\"\tit\tbegan.\tHe\twrote\ta\tfew\tlittle\tstories,\twhat he'd\tbeen\tdoing\tthat\tweek,\ta\tcouple\tof\tjokes.\tAt\tthe\tend,\the\tsigned\toff\tthis\tway:","I\tHAVE\tHEARTBURN\tAND\tDIAHREA\tAT\tTHE\tMOMENT-LIFE'S\tA\tBITCH. CHAT\tLATER? [signed]\t\t\t\tSORE\tTUSH. I\tlaughed\tuntil\tthere\twere\ttears\tin\tmy\teyes. This\tbook\twas\tlargely\tMorrie's\tidea.\tHe\tcalled\tit\tour\t\\\"final\tthesis.\\\"\tLike\tthe\tbest of\twork\tprojects,\tit\tbrought\tus\tcloser\ttogether,\tand\tMorrie\twas\tdelighted\twhen several\tpublishers\texpressed\tinterest,\teven\tthough\the\tdied\tbefore\tmeeting\tany\tof them.\tThe\tadvance\tmoney\thelped\tpay\tMorrie's\tenormous\tmedical\tbills,\tand\tfor that\twe\twere\tboth\tgrateful. The\ttitle,\tby\tthe\tway,\twe\tcame\tup\twith\tone\tday\tin\tMorrie's\toffice.\tHe\tliked naming\tthings.\tHe\thad\tseveral ideas.\tBut\twhen\tI\tsaid,\t\\\"How\tabout\tTuesdays\twith\tMorrie?\\\"\the\tsmiled\tin\tan almost\tblushing\tway,\tand\tI\tknew\tthat\twas\tit. After\tMorrie\tdied,\tI\twent\tthrough\tboxes\tof\told\tcollege\tmaterial.\tAnd\tI discovered\ta\tfinal\tpaper\tI\thad\twritten\tfor\tone\tof\this\tclasses.\tIt\twas\ttwenty\tyears old\tnow.\tOn\tthe\tfront\tpage\twere\tmy\tpenciled\tcomments\tscribbled\tto\tMorrie,\tand beneath\tthem\twere\this\tcomments\tscribbled\tback. Mine\tbegan,\t\\\"Dear\tCoach\t.\t.\t.' His\tbegan,\t\\\"Dear\tPlayer\t.\t.\t.\\\" For\tsome\treason,\teach\ttime\tI\tread\tthat,\tI\tmiss\thim\tmore. Have\tyou\tever\treally\thad\ta\tteacher?\tOne\twho\tsaw\tyou\tas\ta\traw\tbut\tprecious thing,\ta\tjewel\tthat,\twith\twisdom,\tcould\tbe\tpolished\tto\ta\tproud\tshine?\tIf\tyou\tare lucky\tenough\tto\tfind\tyour\tway\tto\tsuch\tteachers,\tyou\twill\talways\tfind\tyour\tway back.\tSometimes\tit\tis\tonly\tin\tyour\thead.\tSometimes\tit\tis\tright\talongside\ttheir","beds. The\tlast\tclass\tof\tmy\told\tprofessor's\tlife\ttook\tplace\tonce\ta\tweek,\tin\this\thome,\tby a\twindow\tin\this\tstudy\twhere\the\tcould\twatch\ta\tsmall\thibiscus\tplant\tshed\tits\tpink flowers.\tThe\tclass\tmet\ton\tTuesdays.\tNo\tbooks\twere\trequired.\tThe\tsubject\twas the\tmeaning\tof\tlife.\tIt\twas\ttaught\tfrom\texperience. The\tteaching\tgoes\ton."]