["Aging","Greed","Marriage","Family","Society","Forgiveness","A\tmeaningful\tlife The\tlist\twas\tin\tmy\tbag\twhen\tI\treturned\tto\tWest\tNewton\tfor\tthe\tfourth\ttime,\ta Tuesday\tin\tlate\tAugust\twhen\tthe\tair-conditioning\tat\tthe\tLogan\tAirport\tterminal was\tnot\tworking,\tand\tpeople\tfanned\tthemselves\tand\twiped\tsweat\tangrily\tfrom their\tforeheads,\tand\tevery\tface\tI\tsaw\tlooked\tready\tto\tkill\tsomebody. By\tthe\tstart\tof\tmy\tsenior\tyear,\tI\thave\ttaken\tso\tmany\tsociology\tclasses,\tI\tam\tonly a\tfew\tcredits\tshy\tof\ta\tdegree.\tMorrie\tsuggests\tI\ttry\tan\thonors\tthesis. Me?\tI\task.\tWhat\twould\tI\twrite\tabout? \\\"What\tinterests\tyou?\\\"\the\tsays. We\tbat\tit\tback\tand\tforth,\tuntil\twe\tfinally\tsettle\ton,\tof\tall\tthings,\tsports.\tI\tbegin\ta year-long\tproject\ton\thow\tfootball\tin\tAmerica\thas\tbecome\tritualistic,\talmost\ta religion,\tan\topiate\tfor\tthe\tmasses.\tI\thave\tno\tidea\tthat\tthis\tis\ttraining\tfor\tmy future\tcareer.\tI\tonly\tknow\tit\tgives\tme\tanother\tonce-a-week\tsession\twith\tMorrie. And,\twith\this\thelp,\tby\tspring\tI\thave\ta\t112\tpage\tthesis,\tresearched,\tfootnoted, documented,\tand\tneatly\tbound\tin\tblack\tleather.\tI\tshow\tit\tto\tMorrie\twith\tthe\tpride of\ta\tLittle\tLeaguer\trounding\tthe\tbases\ton\this\tfirst\thome\trun. \\\"Congratulations,\\\"\tMorrie\tsays. I\tgrin\tas\the\tleafs\tthrough\tit,\tand\tI\tglance\taround\this\toffice.\tThe\tshelves\tof\tbooks, the\thardwood\tfloor,\tthe\tthrow\trug,\tthe\tcouch.\tI\tthink\tto\tmyself\tthat\tI\thave\tsat just\tabout\teverywhere\tthere\tis\tto\tsit\tin\tthis\troom. \\\"I\tdon't\tknow,\tMitch,\\\"\tMorrie\tmuses,\tadjusting\this\tglasses\tas\the\treads,\t\\\"with work\tlike\tthis,\twe\tmay\thave\tto\tget\tyou\tback\there\tfor\tgrad\tschool.\\\" Yeah,\tright,\tI\tsay.","I\tsnicker,\tbut\tthe\tidea\tis\tmomentarily\tappealing.\tPart\tof\tme\tis\tscared\tof\tleaving school.\tPart\tof\tme\twants\tto\tgo\tdesperately.\tTension\tof\topposites.\tI\twatch\tMorrie as\the\treads\tmy\tthesis,\tand\twonder\twhat\tthe\tbig\tworld\twill\tbe\tlike\tout\tthere. The\tAudiovisual,\tPart\tTwo The\t\\\"Nightline\\\"\tshow\thad\tdone\ta\tfollow-up\tstory\ton\tMorrie\tpartly\tbecau\u00b0e\tthe reception\tfor\tthe\tfirst\tshow\thad\tbeen\tso\tstrong.\tThis\ttime,\twhen\tthe\tcameramen and\tproducers\tcame\tthrough\tthe\tdoor,\tthey\talready\tfelt\tlike\tfamily.\tAnd\tKoppel himself\twas\tnoticeably\twarmer.\tThere\twas\tno\tfeeling-out\tprocess,\tno\tinterview before\tthe\tinterview.\tAs\twarm-up,\tKoppel\tand\tMorrie\texchanged\tstories\tabout their\tchildhood\tbackgrounds:\tKoppel\tspoke\tof\tgrowing\tup\tin\tEngland,\tand Morrie\tspoke\tof\tgrowing\tup\tin\tthe\tBronx.\tMorrie\twore\ta\tlongsleeved\tblue\tshirt- he\twas\talmost\talways\tchilly,\teven\twhen\tit\twas\tninety\tdegrees\toutside-but Koppel\tremoved\this\tjacket\tand\tdid\tthe\tinterview\tin\tshirt\tand\ttie.\tIt\twas\tas\tif Morrie\twere\tbreaking\thim\tdown,\tone\tlayer\tat\ta\ttime. \\\"You\tlook\tfine,\\\"\tKoppel\tsaid\twhen\tthe\ttape\tbegan\tto\troll. \\\"That's\twhat\teverybody\ttells\tme,\\\"\tMorrie\tsaid.\t\\\"You\tsound\tfine.\\\" \\\"That's\twhat\teverybody\ttells\tme.\\\" \\\"So\thow\tdo\tyou\tknow\tthings\tare\tgoing\tdownhill?\\\" Morrie\tsighed..\t\\\"Nobody\tcan\tknow\tit\tbut\tme,\tTed.\tBut\tI\tknow\tit.\\\" And\tas\the\tspoke,\tit\tbecame\tobvious.\tHe\twas\tnot\twaving\this\thands\tto\tmake\ta point\tas\tfreely\tas\the\thad\tin\ttheir\tfirst\tconversation.\tHe\thad\ttrouble\tpronouncing certain\twords-the\tl\tsound\tseemed\tto\tget\tcaught\tin\this\tthroat.\tIn\ta\tfew\tmore months,\the\tmight\tno\tlonger\tspeak\tat\tall.","\\\"Here's\thow\tmy\temotions\tgo,\\\"\tMorrie\ttold\tKoppel.\t\\\"When\tI\thave\tpeople\tand friends\there,\tI'm\tvery\tup.\tThe\tloving\trelationships\tmaintain\tme. \\\"But\tthere\tare\tdays\twhen\tI\tam\tdepressed.\tLet\tme\tnot\tdeceive\tyou.\tI\tsee\tcertain things\tgoing\tand\tI\tfeel\ta\tsense\tof\tdread.\tWhat\tam\tI\tgoing\tto\tdo\twithout\tmy hands?\tWhat\thappens\twhen\tI\tcan't\tspeak?\tSwallowing,\tI\tdon't\tcare\tso\tmuch about-so\tthey\tfeed\tme\tthrough\ta\ttube,\tso\twhat?\tBut\tmy\tvoice?\tMy\thands? They're\tsuch\tan\tessential\tpart\tof\tme.\tI\ttalk\twith\tmy\tvoice.\tI\tgesture\twith\tmy hands.\tThis\tis\thow\tI\tgive\tto\tpeople.\\\" \\\"How\twill\tyou\tgive\twhen\tyou\tcan\tno\tlonger\tspeak?\\\"\tKoppel\tasked. Morrie\tshrugged.\t\\\"Maybe\tI'll\thave\teveryone\task\tme\tyes\tor\tno\tquestions.\\\" It\twas\tsuch\ta\tsimple\tanswer\tthat\tKoppel\thad\tto\tsmile.\tHe\tasked\tMorrie\tabout silence.\tHe\tmentioned\ta\tdear\tfriend\tMorrie\thad,\tMaurie\tStein,\twho\thad\tfirst\tsent Morrie's\taphorisms\tto\tthe\tBoston\tGlobe.\tThey\thad\tbeen\ttogether\tat\tBrandeis since\tthe\tearly\tsixties.\tNow\tStein\twas\tgoing\tdeaf.\tKoppel\timagined\tthe\ttwo\tmen together\tone\tday,\tone\tunable\tto\tspeak,\tthe\tother\tunable\tto\thear.\tWhat\twould\tthat be\tlike? \\\"We\twill\thold\thands,\\\"\tMorrie\tsaid.\t\\\"And\tthere'll\tbe\ta\tlot\tof\tlove\tpassing\tbetween us.\tTed,\twe've\thad\tthirty-five\tyears\tof\tfriendship.\tYou\tdon't\tneed\tspeech\tor hearing\tto\tfeel\tthat.\\\" Before\tthe\tshow\tended,\tMorrie\tread\tKoppel\tone\tof\tthe\tletters\the'd\treceived. Since\tthe\tfirst\t\\\"Nightline\\\"\tprogram,\tthere\thad\tbeen\ta\tgreat\tdeal\tof\tmail.\tOne particular\tletter\tcame\tfrom\ta\tschoolteacher\tin\tPennsylvania\twho\ttaught\ta\tspecial class\tof\tnine\tchildren;\tevery\tchild\tin\tthe\tclass\thad\tsuffered\tthe\tdeath\tof\ta\tparent. \\\"Here's\twhat\tI\tsent\ther\tback,\\\"\tMorrie\ttold\tKoppel,\tperching\this\tglasses\tgingerly on\this\tnose\tand\tears.\t\\\"\t`Dear\tBarbara\t.\t.\t.\tI\twas\tvery\tmoved\tby\tyour\tletter.\tI\tfeel the\twork\tyou\thave\tdone\twith\tthe\tchildren\twho\thave\tlost\ta\tparent\tis\tvery important.\tI\talso\tlost\ta\tparent\tat\tan\tearly\tage\t.\t.\t.'\t\\\"","Suddenly,\twith\tthe\tcameras\tstill\thumming,\tMorrie\tadjusted\tthe\tglasses.\tHe stopped,\tbit\this\tlip,\tand\tbegan\tto\tchoke\tup.\tTears\tfell\tdown\this\tnose.\t\\\"\t`I\tlost\tmy mother\twhen\tI\twas\ta\tchild\t.\t.\t.\tand\tit\twas\tquite\ta\tblow\tto\tme\t.\t.\t.\tI\twish\tI'd\thad\ta group\tlike\tyours\twhere\tI\twould\thave\tbeen\table\tto\ttalk\tabout\tmy\tsorrows.\tI would\thave\tjoined\tyour\tgroup\tbecause\t.\t.\t.\t\\\" His\tvoice\tcracked. \\\"\t`.\t.\t.\tbecause\tI\twas\tso\tlonely\t.\t.\t.\t\\\" \\\"Morrie,\\\"\tKoppel\tsaid,\t\\\"that\twas\tseventy\tyears\tago\tyour\tmother\tdied.\tThe\tpain still\tgoes\ton?\\\" \\\"You\tbet,\\\"\tMorrie\twhispered.","The\tProfessor He\twas\teight\tyears\told.\tA\ttelegram\tcame\tfrom\tthe\thospital,\tand\tsince\this\tfather, a\tRussian\timmigrant,\tcould\tnot\tread\tEnglish,\tMorrie\thad\tto\tbreak\tthe\tnews, reading\this\tmother's\tdeath\tnotice\tlike\ta\tstudent\tin\tfront\tof\tthe\tclass.\t\\\"We\tregret to\tinform\tyou\t.\t.\t.\\\"\the\tbegan. On\tthe\tmorning\tof\tthe\tfuneral,\tMorrie's\trelatives\tcame\tdown\tthe\tsteps\tof\this tenement\tbuilding\ton\tthe\tpoor\tLower\tEast\tSide\tof\tManhattan.\tThe\tmen\twore dark\tsuits,\tthe\twomen\twore\tveils.\tThe\tkids\tin\tthe\tneighborhood\twere\tgoing\toff to\tschool,\tand\tas\tthey\tpassed,\tMorrie\tlooked\tdown,\tashamed\tthat\this\tclassmates would\tsee\thim\tthis\tway.\tOne\tof\this\taunts,\ta\theavyset\twoman,\tgrabbed\tMorrie and\tbegan\tto\twail:\t\\\"What\twill\tyou\tdo\twithout\tyour\tmother?\tWhat\twill\tbecome of\tyou?\\\" Morrie\tburst\tinto\ttears.\tHis\tclassmates\tran\taway. At\tthe\tcemetery,\tMorrie\twatched\tas\tthey\tshoveled\tdirt\tinto\this\tmother's\tgrave. He\ttried\tto\trecall\tthe\ttender\tmoments\tthey\thad\tshared\twhen\tshe\twas\talive.\tShe had\toperated\ta\tcandy\tstore\tuntil\tshe\tgot\tsick,\tafter\twhich\tshe\tmostly\tslept\tor\tsat by\tthe\twindow,\tlooking\tfrail\tand\tweak.\tSometimes\tshe\twould\tyell\tout\tfor\ther son\tto\tget\ther\tsome\tmedicine,\tand\tyoung\tMorrie,\tplaying\tstickball\tin\tthe\tstreet, would\tpretend\the\tdid\tnot\thear\ther.\tIn\this\tmind\the\tbelieved\the\tcould\tmake\tthe illness\tgo\taway\tby\tignoring\tit. How\telse\tcan\ta\tchild\tconfront\tdeath? Morrie's\tfather,\twhom\teveryone\tcalled\tCharlie,\thad\tcome\tto\tAmerica\tto\tescape the\tRussian\tArmy.\tHe\tworked\tin\tthe\tfur\tbusiness,\tbut\twas\tconstantly\tout\tof\ta job.\tUneducated\tand\tbarely\table\tto\tspeak\tEnglish,\the\twas\tterribly\tpoor,\tand\tthe family\twas\ton\tpublic\tassistance\tmuch\tof\tthe\ttime.\tTheir\tapartment\twas\ta\tdark, cramped,\tdepressing\tplace\tbehind\tthe\tcandy\tstore.\tThey\thad\tno\tluxuries.\tNo\tcar. Sometimes,\tto\tmake\tmoney,\tMorrie\tand\this\tyounger\tbrother,\tDavid,\twould\twash porch\tsteps\ttogether\tfor\ta\tnickel.","After\ttheir\tmother's\tdeath,\tthe\ttwo\tboys\twere\tsent\toff\tto\ta\tsmall\thotel\tin\tthe Connecticut\twoods\twhere\tseveral\tfamilies\tshared\ta\tlarge\tcabin\tand\ta\tcommunal kitchen.\tThe\tfresh\tair\tmight\tbe\tgood\tfor\tthe\tchildren,\tthe\trelatives\tthought. Morrie\tand\tDavid\thad\tnever\tseen\tso\tmuch\tgreenery,\tand\tthey\tran\tand\tplayed\tin the\tfields.\tOne\tnight\tafter\tdinner,\tthey\twent\tfor\ta\twalk\tand\tit\tbegan\tto\train. Rather\tthan\tcome\tinside,\tthey\tsplashed\taround\tfor\thours. The\tnext\tmorning,\twhen\tthey\tawoke,\tMorrie\thopped\tout\tof\tbed. \\\"Come\ton,\\\"\the\tsaid\tto\this\tbrother.\t\\\"Get\tup.\\\"\t\\\"I\tcan't.\\\" \\\"What\tdo\tyou\tmean?\\\" David's\tface\twas\tpanicked.\t\\\"I\tcan't\t.\t.\t.\tmove.\\\" He\thad\tpolio. Of\tcourse,\tthe\train\tdid\tnot\tcause\tthis.\tBut\ta\tchild\tMorrie's\tage\tcould\tnot understand\tthat.\tFor\ta\tlong\ttime-as\this\tbrother\twas\ttaken\tback\tand\tforth\tto\ta special\tmedical\thome\tand\twas\tforced\tto\twear\tbraces\ton\this\tlegs,\twhich\tleft\thim limping-Morrie\tfelt\tresponsible. So\tin\tthe\tmornings,\the\twent\tto\tsynagogue-by\thimself,\tbecause\this\tfather\twas\tnot a\treligious\tman-and\the\tstood\tamong\tthe\tswaying\tmen\tin\ttheir\tlong\tblack\tcoats and\the\tasked\tGod\tto\ttake\tcare\tof\this\tdead\tmother\tand\this\tsick\tbrother. And\tin\tthe\tafternoons,\the\tstood\tat\tthe\tbottom\tof\tthe\tsubway\tsteps\tand\thawked magazines,\tturning\twhatever\tmoney\the\tmade\tover\tto\this\tfamily\tto\tbuy\tfood. In\tthe\tevenings,\the\twatched\this\tfather\teat\tin\tsilence,\thoping\tfor-but\tnever getting--a\tshow\tof\taffection,\tcommunication,\twarmth. At\tnine\tyears\told,\the\tfelt\tas\tif\tthe\tweight\tof\ta\tmountain\twere\ton\this\tshoulders.","But\ta\tsaving\tembrace\tcame\tinto\tMorrie's\tlife\tthe\tfollowing\tyear:\this\tnew stepmother,\tEva.\tShe\twas\ta\tshort\tRomanian\timmigrant\twith\tplain\tfeatures,\tcurly brown\thair,\tand\tthe\tenergy\tof\ttwo\twomen.\tShe\thad\ta\tglow\tthat\twarmed\tthe otherwise\tmurky\tatmosphere\this\tfather\tcreated.\tShe\ttalked\twhen\ther\tnew husband\twas\tsilent,\tshe\tsang\tsongs\tto\tthe\tchildren\tat\tnight.\tMorrie\ttook\tcomfort in\ther\tsoothing\tvoice,\ther\tschool\tlessons,\ther\tstrong\tcharacter.\tWhen\this\tbrother returned\tfrom\tthe\tmedical\thome,\tstill\twearing\tleg\tbraces\tfrom\tthe\tpolio,\tthe\ttwo of\tthem\tshared\ta\trollaway\tbed\tin\tthe\tkitchen\tof\ttheir\tapartment,\tand\tEva\twould kiss\tthem\tgood-night.\tMorrie\twaited\ton\tthose\tkisses\tlike\ta\tpuppy\twaits\ton\tmilk, and\the\tfelt,\tdeep\tdown,\tthat\the\thad\ta\tmother\tagain. There\twas\tno\tescaping\ttheir\tpoverty,\thowever.\tThey\tlived\tnow\tin\tthe\tBronx,\tin\ta one-bedroom\tapartment\tin\ta\tredbrick\tbuilding\ton\tTremont\tAvenue,\tnext\tto\tan Italian\tbeer\tgarden\twhere\tthe\told\tmen\tplayed\tboccie\ton\tsummer\tevenings. Because\tof\tthe\tDepression,\tMorrie's\tfather\tfound\teven\tless\twork\tin\tthe\tfur business.\tSometimes\twhen\tthe\tfamily\tsat\tat\tthe\tdinner\ttable,\tall\tEva\tcould\tput out\twas\tbread. \\\"What\telse\tis\tthere?\\\"\tDavid\twould\task. \\\"Nothing\telse,\\\"\tshe\twould\tanswer. When\tshe\ttucked\tMorrie\tand\tDavid\tinto\tbed,\tshe\twould\tsing\tto\tthem\tin\tYiddish. Even\tthe\tsongs\twere\tsad\tand\tpoor.\tThere\twas\tone\tabout\ta\tgirl\ttrying\tto\tsell\ther cigarettes: Please\tbuy\tmy\tcigarettes. They\tare\tdry,\tnot\twet\tby\train. Take\tpity\ton\tme,\ttake\tpity\ton\tme.","Still,\tdespite\ttheir\tcircumstances,\tMorrie\twas\ttaught\tto\tlove\tand\tto\tcare.\tAnd\tto learn.\tEva\twould\taccept\tnothing\tless\tthan\texcellence\tin\tschool,\tbecause\tshe\tsaw education\tas\tthe\tonly\tantidote\tto\ttheir\tpoverty.\tShe\therself\twent\tto\tnight\tschool to\timprove\ther\tEnglish.\tMorrie's\tlove\tfor\teducation\twas\thatched\tin\ther\tarms. He\tstudied\tat\tnight,\tby\tthe\tlamp\tat\tthe\tkitchen\ttable.\tAnd\tin\tthe\tmornings\the would\tgo\tto\tsynagogue\tto\tsay\tYizkor-the\tmemorial\tprayer\tfor\tthe\tdead-for\this mother.\tHe\tdid\tthis\tto\tkeep\ther\tmemory\talive.\tIncredibly,\tMorrie\thad\tbeen\ttold by\this\tfather\tnever\tto\ttalk\tabout\ther.\tCharlie\twanted\tyoung\tDavid\tto\tthink\tEva was\this\tnatural\tmother. It\twas\ta\tterrible\tburden\tto\tMorrie.\tFor\tyears,\tthe\tonly\tevidence\tMorrie\thad\tof\this mother\twas\tthe\ttelegram\tannouncing\ther\tdeath.\tHe\thad\thidden\tit\tthe\tday\tit arrived. He\twould\tkeep\tit\tthe\trest\tof\this\tlife. When\tMorrie\twas\ta\tteenager,\this\tfather\ttook\thim\tto\ta\tfur\tfactory\twhere\the worked.\tThis\twas\tduring\tthe\tDepression.\tThe\tidea\twas\tto\tget\tMorrie\ta\tjob. He\tentered\tthe\tfactory,\tand\timmediately\tfelt\tas\tif\tthe\twalls\thad\tclosed\tin\taround him.\tThe\troom\twas\tdark\tand\thot,\tthe\twindows\tcovered\twith\tfilth,\tand\tthe machines\twere\tpacked\ttightly\ttogether,\tchurning\tlike\ttrain\twheels.\tThe\tfur\thairs were\tflying,\tcreating\ta\tthickened\tair,\tand\tthe\tworkers,\tsewing\tthe\tpelts\ttogether, were\tbent\tover\ttheir\tneedles\tas\tthe\tboss\tmarched\tup\tand\tdown\tthe\trows, screaming\tfor\tthem\tto\tgo\tfaster.\tMorrie\tcould\tbarely\tbreathe.\tHe\tstood\tnext\tto his\tfather,\tfrozen\twith\tfear,\thoping\tthe\tboss\twouldn't\tscream\tat\thim,\ttoo. During\tlunch\tbreak,\this\tfather\ttook\tMorrie\tto\tthe\tboss\tand\tpushed\thim\tin\tfront\tof him,\tasking\tif\tthere\twas\tany\twork\tfor\this\tson.\tBut\tthere\twas\tbarely\tenough\twork for\tthe\tadult\tlaborers,\tand\tno\tone\twas\tgiving\tit\tup. This,\tfor\tMorrie,\twas\ta\tblessing.\tHe\thated\tthe\tplace.\tHe\tmade\tanother\tvow\tthat","he\tkept\tto\tthe\tend\tof\this\tlife:\the\twould\tnever\tdo\tany\twork\tthat\texploited someone\telse,\tand\the\twould\tnever\tallow\thimself\tto\tmake\tmoney\toff\tthe\tsweat\tof others. \\\"What\twill\tyou\tdo?\\\"\tEva\twould\task\thim. \\\"I\tdon't\tknow,\\\"\the\twould\tsay.\tHe\truled\tout\tlaw,\tbecause\the\tdidn't\tlike\tlawyers, and\the\truled\tout\tmedicine,\tbecause\the\tcouldn't\ttake\tthe\tsight\tof\tblood. \\\"What\twill\tyou\tdo?\\\" It\twas\tonly\tthrough\tdefault\tthat\tthe\tbest\tprofessor\tI\tever\thad\tbecame\ta\tteacher. \\\"A\tteacher\taffects\teternity;\the\tcan\tnever\ttell\twhere\this\tinfluence\tstops.\t\\\" -HENRY\tADAMS The\tFourth\tTuesday\tWe\tTalk\tAbout\tDeath \t\\\"Let's\tbegin\twith\tthis\tidea,\\\"\tMorrie\tsaid.\t\\\"Everyone\tknows\tthey're\tgoing\tto\tdie, but\tnobody\tbelieves\tit.\\\"\tHe\twas\tin\ta\tbusinesslike\tmood\tthis\tTuesday.\tThe\tsubject was\tdeath,\tthe\tfirst\titem\ton\tmy\tlist.\tBefore\tI\tarrived,\tMorrie\thad\tscribbled\ta\tfew notes\ton\tsmall\twhite\tpieces\tof\tpaper\tso\tthat\the\twouldn't\tforget.\tHis\tshaky handwriting\twas\tnow\tindecipherable\tto\teveryone\tbut\thim.\tIt\twas\talmost\tLabor Day,\tand\tthrough\tthe\toffice\twindow\tI\tcould\tsee\tthe\tspinach-colored\thedges\tof the\tbackyard\tand\thear\tthe\tyells\tof\tchildren\tplaying\tdown\tthe\tstreet,\ttheir\tlast week\tof\tfreedom\tbefore\tschool\tbegan. Back\tin\tDetroit,\tthe\tnewspaper\tstrikers\twere\tgearing\tup\tfor\ta\thuge\tholiday demonstration,\tto\tshow\tthe\tsolidarity\tof\tunions\tagainst\tmanagement.\tOn\tthe","plane\tride\tin,\tI\thad\tread\tabout\ta\twoman\twho\thad\tshot\ther\thusband\tand\ttwo daughters\tas\tthey\tlay\tsleeping,\tclaiming\tshe\twas\tprotecting\tthem\tfrom\t\\\"the\tbad people.\\\"\tIn\tCalifornia,\tthe\tlawyers\tin\tthe\tO.\tJ.\tSimpson\ttrial\twere\tbecoming huge\tcelebrities. Here\tin\tMorrie's\toffice,\tlife\twent\ton\tone\tprecious\tday\tat\ta\ttime.\tNow\twe\tsat together,\ta\tfew\tfeet\tfrom\tthe\tnewest\taddition\tto\tthe\thouse:\tan\toxygen\tmachine.\tIt was\tsmall\tand\tportable,\tabout\tknee-high.\tOn\tsome\tnights,\twhen\the\tcouldn't\tget enough\tair\tto\tswallow,\tMorrie\tattached\tthe\tlong\tplastic\ttubing\tto\this\tnose, clamping\ton\this\tnostrils\tlike\ta\tleech.\tI\thated\tthe\tidea\tof\tMorrie\tconnected\tto\ta machine\tof\tany\tkind,\tand\tI\ttried\tnot\tto\tlook\tat\tit\tas\tMorrie\tspoke. \\\"Everyone\tknows\tthey're\tgoing\tto\tdie,\\\"\the\tsaid\tagain,\t\\\"but\tnobody\tbelieves\tit.\tIf we\tdid,\twe\twould\tdo\tthings\tdifferently.\\\" So\twe\tkid\tourselves\tabout\tdeath,\tI\tsaid. \\\"Yes.\tBut\tthere's\ta\tbetter\tapproach.\tTo\tknow\tyou're\tgoing\tto\tdie,\tand\tto\tbe prepared\tfor\tit\tat\tany\ttime.\tThat's\tbetter.\tThat\tway\tyou\tcan\tactually\tbe\tmore involved\tin\tyour\tlife\twhile\tyou're\tliving.\\\" How\tcan\tyou\tever\tbe\tprepared\tto\tdie? \\\"Do\twhat\tthe\tBuddhists\tdo.\tEvery\tday,\thave\ta\tlittle\tbird\ton\tyour\tshoulder\tthat asks,\t`Is\ttoday\tthe\tday?\tAm\tI\tready?\tAm\tI\tdoing\tall\tI\tneed\tto\tdo?\tAm\tI\tbeing\tthe person\tI\twant\tto\tbe?'\t\\\" He\tturned\this\thead\tto\this\tshoulder\tas\tif\tthe\tbird\twere\tthere\tnow. \\\"Is\ttoday\tthe\tday\tI\tdie?\\\"\the\tsaid. Morrie\tborrowed\tfreely\tfrom\tall\treligions.\tHe\twas\tborn\tJewish,\tbut\tbecame\tan agnostic\twhen\the\twas\ta\tteenager,\tpartly\tbecause\tof\tall\tthat\thad\thappened\tto\thim as\ta\tchild.\tHe\tenjoyed\tsome\tof\tthe\tphilosophies\tof\tBuddhism\tand\tChristianity,","and\the\tstill\tfelt\tat\thome,\tculturally,\tin\tJudaism.\tHe\twas\ta\treligious\tmutt,\twhich made\thim\teven\tmore\topen\tto\tthe\tstudents\the\ttaught\tover\tthe\tyears.\tAnd\tthe things\the\twas\tsaying\tin\this\tfinal\tmonths\ton\tearth\tseemed\tto\ttranscend\tall religious\tdifferences.\tDeath\thas\ta\tway\tof\tdoing\tthat. \\\"The\ttruth\tis,\tMitch,\\\"\the\tsaid,\t\\\"once\tyou\tlearn\thow\tto\tdie,\tyou\tlearn\thow\tto live.\\\" I\tnodded. \\\"I'm\tgoing\tto\tsay\tit\tagain,\\\"\the\tsaid.\t\\\"Once\tyou\tlearn\thow\tto\tdie,\tyou\tlearn\thow\tto live.\\\"\tHe\tsmiled,\tand\tI\trealized\twhat\the\twas\tdoing.\tHe\twas\tmaking\tsure\tI absorbed\tthis\tpoint,\twithout\tembarrassing\tme\tby\tasking.\tIt\twas\tpart\tof\twhat made\thim\ta\tgood\tteacher. Did\tyou\tthink\tmuch\tabout\tdeath\tbefore\tyou\tgot\tsick,\tI\tasked. \\\"No.\\\"\tMorrie\tsmiled.\t\\\"I\twas\tlike\teveryone\telse.\tI\tonce\ttold\ta\tfriend\tof\tmine,\tin\ta moment\tof\texuberance,\t`I'm\tgonna\tbe\tthe\thealthiest\told\tman\tyou\tever\tmet!'\t\\\" How\told\twere\tyou? \\\"In\tmy\tsixties.\\\" So\tyou\twere\toptimistic. \\\"Why\tnot?\tLike\tI\tsaid,\tno\tone\treally\tbelieves\tthey're\tgoing\tto\tdie.\\\" But\teveryone\tknows\tsomeone\twho\thas\tdied,\tI\tsaid.\tWhy\tis\tit\tso\thard\tto\tthink about\tdying? \\\"Because,\\\"\tMorrie\tcontinued,\t\\\"most\tof\tus\tall\twalk\taround\tas\tif\twe're sleepwalking.\tWe\treally\tdon't\texperience\tthe\tworld\tfully,\tbecause\twe're\thalf- asleep,\tdoing\tthings\twe\tautomatically\tthink\twe\thave\tto\tdo.\\\"","And\tfacing\tdeath\tchanges\tall\tthat? \\\"Oh,\tyes.\tYou\tstrip\taway\tall\tthat\tstuff\tand\tyou\tfocus\ton\tthe\tessentials.\tWhen\tyou realize\tyou\tare\tgoing\tto\tdie,\tyou\tsee\teverything\tmuch\tdifferently. He\tsighed.\t\\\"Learn\thow\tto\tdie,\tand\tyou\tlearn\thow\tto\tlive.\\\" I\tnoticed\tthat\the\tquivered\tnow\twhen\the\tmoved\this\thands.\tHis\tglasses\thung around\this\tneck,\tand\twhen\the\tlifted\tthem\tto\this\teyes,\tthey\tslid\taround\this temples,\tas\tif\the\twere\ttrying\tto\tput\tthem\ton\tsomeone\telse\tin\tthe\tdark.\tI\treached over\tto\thelp\tguide\tthem\tonto\this\tears. \\\"Thank\tyou,\\\"\tMorrie\twhispered.\tHe\tsmiled\twhen\tmy\thand\tbrushed\tup\tagainst his\thead.\tThe\tslightest\thuman\tcontact\twas\timmediate\tjoy. \\\"Mitch.\tCan\tI\ttell\tyou\tsomething?\\\"\tOf\tcourse,\tI\tsaid. \\\"You\tmight\tnot\tlike\tit.\\\"\tWhy\tnot? \\\"Well,\tthe\ttruth\tis,\tif\tyou\treally\tlisten\tto\tthat\tbird\ton\tyour\tshoulder,\tif\tyou\taccept that\tyou\tcan\tdie\tat\tany\ttimethen\tyou\tmight\tnot\tbe\tas\tambitious\tas\tyou\tare.\\\" I\tforced\ta\tsmall\tgrin. \\\"The\tthings\tyou\tspend\tso\tmuch\ttime\ton-all\tthis\twork\tyou\tdo-might\tnot\tseem\tas important.\tYou\tmight\thave\tto\tmake\troom\tfor\tsome\tmore\tspiritual\tthings.\\\" Spiritual\tthings? \\\"You\thate\tthat\tword,\tdon't\tyou?\t`Spiritual.'\tYou\tthink\tit's\ttouchy-feely\tstuff.\\\" Well,\tI\tsaid.","He\ttried\tto\twink,\ta\tbad\ttry,\tand\tI\tbroke\tdown\tand\tlaughed. \\\"Mitch,\\\"\the\tsaid,\tlaughing\talong,\t\\\"even\tI\tdon't\tknow\twhat\t`spiritual development'\treally\tmeans.\tBut\tI\tdo\tknow\twe're\tdeficient\tin\tsome\tway.\tWe\tare too\tinvolved\tin\tmaterialistic\tthings,\tand\tthey\tdon't\tsatisfy\tus.\tThe\tloving relationships\twe\thave,\tthe\tuniverse\taround\tus,\twe\ttake\tthese\tthings\tfor\tgranted.\\\" He\tnodded\ttoward\tthe\twindow\twith\tthe\tsunshine\tstreaming\tin.\t\\\"You\tsee\tthat? You\tcan\tgo\tout\tthere,\toutside,\tanytime.\tYou\tcan\trun\tup\tand\tdown\tthe\tblock\tand go\tcrazy.\tI\tcan't\tdo\tthat.\tI\tcan't\tgo\tout.\tI\tcan't\trun.\tI\tcan't\tbe\tout\tthere\twithout\tfear of\tgetting\tsick.\tBut\tyou\tknow\twhat?\tI\tappreciate\tthat\twindow\tmore\tthan\tyou do.\\\"\tAppreciate\tit? \\\"Yes.\tI\tlook\tout\tthat\twindow\tevery\tday.\tI\tnotice\tthe\tchange\tin\tthe\ttrees,\thow strong\tthe\twind\tis\tblowing.\tIt's\tas\tif\tI\tcan\tsee\ttime\tactually\tpassing\tthrough\tthat windowpane.\tBecause\tI\tknow\tmy\ttime\tis\talmost\tdone,\tI\tam\tdrawn\tto\tnature\tlike I'm\tseeing\tit\tfor\tthe\tfirst\ttime.\\\" He\tstopped,\tand\tfor\ta\tmoment\twe\tboth\tjust\tlooked\tout\tthe\twindow.\tI\ttried\tto\tsee what\the\tsaw.\tI\ttried\tto\tsee\ttime\tand\tseasons,\tmy\tlife\tpassing\tin\tslow\tmotion. Morrie\tdropped\this\thead\tslightly\tand\tcurled\tit\ttoward\this\tshoulder. \\\"Is\tit\ttoday,\tlittle\tbird?\\\"\the\tasked.\t\\\"Is\tit\ttoday?\\\" Letters\tfrom\taround\tthe\tworld\tkept\tcoming\tto\tMorrie,\tthanks\tto\tthe\t\\\"Nightline\\\" appearances.\tHe\twould\tsit,\twhen\the\twas\tup\tto\tit,\tand\tdictate\tthe\tresponses\tto friends\tand\tfamily\twho\tgathered\tfor\ttheir\tletter-writing\tsessions. One\tSunday\twhen\this\tsons,\tRob\tand\tJon,\twere\thome,\tthey\tall\tgathered\tin\tthe living\troom.\tMorrie\tsat\tin\this\twheelchair,\this\tskinny\tlegs\tunder\ta\tblanket.\tWhen he\tgot\tcold,\tone\tof\this\thelpers\tdraped\ta\tnylon\tjacket\tover\this\tshoulders. \\\"What's\tthe\tfirst\tletter?\\\"\tMorrie\tsaid.","A\tcolleague\tread\ta\tnote\tfrom\ta\twoman\tnamed\tNancy,\twho\thad\tlost\ther\tmother\tto ALS.\tShe\twrote\tto\tsay\thow\tmuch\tshe\thad\tsuffered\tthrough\tthe\tloss\tand\thow\tshe knew\tthat\tMorrie\tmust\tbe\tsuffering,\ttoo. \\\"All\tright,\\\"\tMorrie\tsaid\twhen\tthe\treading\twas\tcomplete.\tHe\tshut\this\teyes.\t\\\"Let's start\tby\tsaying,\t`Dear\tNancy,\tyou\ttouched\tme\tvery\tmuch\twith\tyour\tstory\tabout your\tmother.\tAnd\tI\tunderstand\twhat\tyou\twent\tthrough.\tThere\tis\tsadness\tand suffering\ton\tboth\tparts.\tDRAWDEGrieving\thas\tbeen\tgood\tfor\tme,\tand\tI\thope\tit has\tbeen\tgood\tfor\tyou\talso.'\t\\\" \\\"You\tmight\twant\tto\tchange\tthat\tlast\tline,\\\"\tRob\tsaid. Morrie\tthought\tfor\ta\tsecond,\tthen\tsaid,\t\\\"You're\tright.\tHow\tabout\t`I\thope\tyou\tcan find\tthe\thealing\tpower\tin\tgrieving.'\tIs\tthat\tbetter?\\\" Rob\tnodded. \\\"Add\t`thank\tyou,\tMorrie,'\t\\\"\tMorrie\tsaid. Another\tletter\twas\tread\tfrom\ta\twoman\tnamed\tJane,\twho\twas\tthanking\thim\tfor his\tinspiration\ton\tthe\t\\\"Nightline\\\"\tprogram.\tShe\treferred\tto\thim\tas\ta\tprophet. \\\"That's\ta\tvery\thigh\tcompliment,\\\"\tsaid\ta\tcolleague.\t\\\"A\tprophet.\\\" Morrie\tmade\ta\tface.\tHe\tobviously\tdidn't\tagree\twith\tthe\tassessment.\t\\\"Let's\tthank her\tfor\ther\thigh\tpraise.\tAnd\ttell\ther\tI'm\tglad\tmy\twords\tmeant\tsomething\tto\ther. \\\"And\tdon't\tforget\tto\tsign\t`Thank\tyou,\tMorrie.'\t\\\" There\twas\ta\tletter\tfrom\ta\tman\tin\tEngland\twho\thad\tlost\this\tmother\tand\tasked Morrie\tto\thelp\thim\tcontact\ther\tthrough\tthe\tspiritual\tworld.\tThere\twas\ta\tletter from\ta\tcouple\twho\twanted\tto\tdrive\tto\tBoston\tto\tmeet\thim.\tThere\twas\ta\tlong letter\tfrom\ta\tformer\tgraduate\tstudent\twho\twrote\tabout\ther\tlife\tafter\tthe university.\tIt\ttold\tof\ta\tmurder-suicide\tand\tthree\tstillborn\tbirths.\tIt\ttold\tof\ta","mother\twho\tdied\tfrom\tALS.\tIt\texpressed\tfear\tthat\tshe,\tthe\tdaughter,\twould\talso contract\tthe\tdisease.\tIt\twent\ton\tand\ton.\tTwo\tpages.\tThree\tpages.\tFour\tpages. Morrie\tsat\tthrough\tthe\tlong,\tgrim\ttale.\tWhen\tit\twas\tfinally\tfinished,\the\tsaid softly,\t\\\"Well,\twhat\tdo\twe\tanswer?\\\" The\tgroup\twas\tquiet.\tFinally,\tRob\tsaid,\t\\\"How\tabout,\t`Thanks\tfor\tyour\tlong letter?'\t\\\" Everyone\tlaughed.\tMorrie\tlooked\tat\this\tson\tand\tbeamed. The\tnewspaper\tnear\this\tchair\thas\ta\tphoto\tof\ta\tBoston\tbaseball\tplayer\twho\tis smiling\tafter\tpitching\ta\tshutout.\tOf\tall\tthe\tdiseases,\tI\tthink\tto\tmyself,\tMorrie gets\tone\tnamed\tafter\tan\tathlete. You\tremember\tLou\tGehrig,\tI\task? \\\"I\tremember\thim\tin\tthe\tstadium,\tsaying\tgood-bye.\\\"\tSo\tyou\tremember\tthe famous\tline. \\\"Which\tone?\\\" Come\ton.\tLou\tGehrig.\t\\\"Pride\tof\tthe\tYankees\\\"?\tThe\tspeech\tthat\techoes\tover\tthe loudspeakers? \\\"Remind\tme,\\\"\tMorrie\tsays.\t\\\"Do\tthe\tspeech.\\\" Through\tthe\topen\twindow\tI\thear\tthe\tsound\tof\ta\tgarbage\ttruck.\tAlthough\tit\tis hot,\tMorrie\tis\twearing\tlong\tsleeves,\twith\ta\tblanket\tover\this\tlegs,\this\tskin\tpale. The\tdisease\towns\thim. I\traise\tmy\tvoice\tand\tdo\tthe\tGehrig\timitation,\twhere\tthe\twords\tbounce\toff\tthe stadium\twalls:\t\\\"Too-dayyy\t.\t.\t.\tI\tfeeel\tlike\t.\t.\t.\tthe\tluckiest\tmaaaan\t.\t.\t.\ton\tthe","face\tof\tthe\tearth\t\t\t\t.\t\t\t\t\t\t.\t\t\t\t\t.\t\\\" Morrie\tcloses\this\teyes\tand\tnods\tslowly. \\\"Yeah.\tWell.\tI\tdidn't\tsay\tthat.\\\" The\tFifth\tTuesday\tWe\tTalk\tAbout\tFamily It\twas\tthe\tfirst\tweek\tin\tSeptember,\tback-toschool\tweek,\tand\tafter\tthirty-five consecutive\tautumns,\tmy\told\tprofessor\tdid\tnot\thave\ta\tclass\twaiting\tfor\thim\ton\ta college\tcampus.\tBoston\twas\tteeming\twith\tstudents,\tdouble-parked\ton\tside streets,\tunloading\ttrunks.\tAnd\there\twas\tMorrie\tin\this\tstudy.\tIt\tseemed\twrong, like\tthose\tfootball\tplayers\twho\tfinally\tretire\tand\thave\tto\tface\tthat\tfirst\tSunday\tat home,\twatching\ton\tTV,\tthinking,\tI\tcould\tstill\tdo\tthat.\tI\thave\tlearned\tfrom dealing\twith\tthose\tplayers\tthat\tit\tis\tbest\tto\tleave\tthem\talone\twhen\ttheir\told seasons\tcome\taround.\tDon't\tsay\tanything.\tBut\tthen,\tI\tdidn't\tneed\tto\tremind Morrie\tof\this\tdwindling\ttime. For\tour\ttaped\tconversations,\twe\thad\tswitched\tfrom\thandheld\tmicrophones- because\tit\twas\ttoo\tdifficult\tnow\tfor\tMorrie\tto\thold\tanything\tthat\tlong-to\tthe lavaliere\tkind\tpopular\twith\tTV\tnewspeople.\tYou\tcan\tclip\tthese\tonto\ta\tcollar\tor lapel.\tOf\tcourse,\tsince\tMorrie\tonly\twore\tsoft\tcotton\tshirts\tthat\thung\tloosely\ton his\tever-shrinking\tframe,\tthe\tmicrophone\tsagged\tand\tflopped,\tand\tI\thad\tto\treach over\tand\tadjust\tit\tfrequently.\tMorrie\tseemed\tto\tenjoy\tthis\tbecause\tit\tbrought\tme close\tto\thim,\tin\thugging\trange,\tand\this\tneed\tfor\tphysical\taffection\twas\tstronger than\tever.\tWhen\tI\tleaned\tin,\tI\theard\this\twheezing\tbreath\tand\this\tweak\tcoughing, and\the\tsmacked\this\tlips\tsoftly\tbefore\the\tswallowed. \\\"Well,\tmy\tfriend,\\\"\the\tsaid,\t\\\"what\tare\twe\ttalking\tabout\ttoday?\\\" How\tabout\tfamily? \\\"Family.\\\"\tHe\tmulled\tit\tover\tfor\ta\tmoment.\t\\\"Well,\tyou\tsee\tmine,\tall\taround\tme.\\\"","He\tnodded\tto\tphotos\ton\this\tbookshelves,\tof\tMorrie\tas\ta\tchild\twith\this grandmother;\tMorrie\tas\ta\tyoung\tman\twith\this\tbrother,\tDavid;\tMorrie\twith\this wife,\tCharlotte;\tMorrie\twith\this\ttwo\tsons,\tRob,\ta\tjournalist\tin\tTokyo,\tand\tion,\ta computer\texpert\tin\tBoston. \\\"I\tthink,\tin\tlight\tof\twhat\twe've\tbeen\ttalking\tabout\tall\tthese\tweeks,\tfamily becomes\teven\tmore\timportant,\\\"\the\tsaid. \\\"The\tfact\tis,\tthere\tis\tno\tfoundation,\tno\tsecure\tground,\tupon\twhich\tpeople\tmay stand\ttoday\tif\tit\tisn't\tthe\tfamily.\tIt's\tbecome\tquite\tclear\tto\tme\tas\tI've\tbeen\tsick.\tIf you\tdon't\thave\tthe\tsupport\tand\tlove\tand\tcaring\tand\tconcern\tthat\tyou\tget\tfrom\ta family,\tyou\tdon't\thave\tmuch\tat\tall.\tLove\tis\tso\tsupremely\timportant.\tAs\tour\tgreat poet\tAuden\tsaid,\t`Love\teach\tother\tor\tperish.'\t\\\" \\\"Love\teach\tother\tor\tperish.\\\"\tI\twrote\tit\tdown.\tAuden\tsaid\tthat? \\\"Love\teach\tother\tor\tperish,\\\"\tMorrie\tsaid.\t\\\"It's\tgood,\tno?\tAnd\tit's\tso\ttrue.\tWithout love,\twe\tare\tbirds\twith\tbroken\twings. \\\"Say\tI\twas\tdivorced,\tor\tliving\talone,\tor\thad\tno\tchildren.\tThis\tdisease-what\tI'm going\tthrough-would\tbe\tso\tmuch\tharder.\tI'm\tnot\tsure\tI\tcould\tdo\tit.\tSure,\tpeople would\tcome\tvisit,\tfriends,\tassociates,\tbut\tit's\tnot\tthe\tsame\tas\thaving\tsomeone who\twill\tnot\tleave.\tIt's\tnot\tthe\tsame\tas\thaving\tsomeone\twhom\tyou\tknow\thas\tan eye\ton\tyou,\tis\twatching\tyou\tthe\twhole\ttime. \\\"This\tis\tpart\tof\twhat\ta\tfamily\tis\tabout,\tnot\tjust\tlove,\tbut\tletting\tothers\tknow there's\tsomeone\twho\tis\twatching\tout\tfor\tthem.\tIt's\twhat\tI\tmissed\tso\tmuch\twhen my\tmother\tdied-what\tI\tcall\tyour\t`spiritual\tsecurity'-knowing\tthat\tyour\tfamily will\tbe\tthere\twatching\tout\tfor\tyou.\tNothing\telse\twill\tgive\tyou\tthat.\tNot\tmoney. Not\tfame.\\\" He\tshot\tme\ta\tlook.","\\\"Not\twork,\\\"\the\tadded. Raising\ta\tfamily\twas\tone\tof\tthose\tissues\ton\tmy\tlittle\tlist-things\tyou\twant\tto\tget right\tbefore\tit's\ttoo\tlate.\tI\ttold\tMorrie\tabout\tmy\tgeneration's\tdilemma\twith having\tchildren,\thow\twe\toften\tsaw\tthem\tas\ttying\tus\tdown,\tmaking\tus\tinto\tthese \\\"parent\\\"\tthings\tthat\twe\tdid\tnot\twant\tto\tbe.\tI\tadmitted\tto\tsome\tof\tthese\temotions myself. Yet\twhen\tI\tlooked\tat\tMorrie,\tI\twondered\tif\tI\twere\tin\this\tshoes,\tabout\tto\tdie,\tand I\thad\tno\tfamily,\tno\tchildren,\twould\tthe\temptiness\tbe\tunbearable?\tHe\thad\traised his\ttwo\tsons\tto\tbe\tloving\tand\tcaring,\tand\tlike\tMorrie,\tthey\twere\tnot\tshy\twith their\taffection.\tHad\the\tso\tdesired,\tthey\twould\thave\tstopped\twhat\tthey\twere doing\tto\tbe\twith\ttheir\tfather\tevery\tminute\tof\this\tfinal\tmonths.\tBut\tthat\twas\tnot what\the\twanted. \\\"Do\tnot\tstop\tyour\tlives,\\\"\the\ttold\tthem.\t\\\"Otherwise,\tthis\tdisease\twill\thave\truined three\tof\tus\tinstead\tof\tone.\\\"\tIn\tthis\tway,\teven\tas\the\twas\tdying,\the\tshowed\trespect for\this\tchildren's\tworlds.\tLittle\twonder\tthat\twhen\tthey\tsat\twith\thim,\tthere\twas\ta waterfall\tof\taffection,\tlots\tof\tkisses\tand\tjokes\tand\tcrouching\tby\tthe\tside\tof\tthe bed,\tholding\thands. \\\"Whenever\tpeople\task\tme\tabout\thaving\tchildren\tor\tnot\thaving\tchildren,\tI\tnever tell\tthem\twhat\tto\tdo,\\\"\tMorrie\tsaid\tnow,\tlooking\tat\ta\tphoto\tof\this\toldest\tson.\t\\\"I simply\tsay,\t`There\tis\tno\texperience\tlike\thaving\tchildren.'\tThat's\tall.\tThere\tis\tno substitute\tfor\tit.\tYou\tcannot\tdo\tit\twith\ta\tfriend.\tYou\tcannot\tdo\tit\twith\ta\tlover.\tIf you\twant\tthe\texperience\tof\thaving\tcomplete\tresponsibility\tfor\tanother\thuman being,\tand\tto\tlearn\thow\tto\tlove\tand\tbond\tin\tthe\tdeepest\tway,\tthen\tyou\tshould have\tchildren.\\\" So\tyou\twould\tdo\tit\tagain?\tI\tasked. I\tglanced\tat\tthe\tphoto.\tRob\twas\tkissing\tMorrie\ton\tthe\tforehead,\tand\tMorrie\twas laughing\twith\this\teyes\tclosed. \\\"Would\tI\tdo\tit\tagain?\\\"\the\tsaid\tto\tme,\tlooking\tsurprised.\t\\\"Mitch,\tI\twould\tnot","have\tmissed\tthat\texperience\tfor\tanything.\tEven\tthough\t.\t.\t.\t\\\" He\tswallowed\tand\tput\tthe\tpicture\tin\this\tlap. \\\"Even\tthough\tthere\tis\ta\tpainful\tprice\tto\tpay,\\\"\the\tsaid.\tBecause\tyou'll\tbe\tleaving them. \\\"Because\tI'll\tbe\tleaving\tthem\tsoon.\\\" He\tpulled\this\tlips\ttogether,\tclosed\this\teyes,\tand\tI\twatched\tthe\tfirst\tteardrop\tfall down\tthe\tside\tof\this\tcheek. \\\"And\tnow,\\\"\the\twhispered,\t\\\"you\ttalk.\\\" Me? \\\"Your\tfamily.\tI\tknow\tabout\tyour\tparents.\tI\tmet\tthem,\tyears\tago,\tat\tgraduation. You\thave\ta\tsister,\ttoo,\tright?\\\"\tYes,\tI\tsaid. \\\"Older,\tyes?\\\"\tOlder. \\\"And\tone\tbrother,\tright?\\\"\tI\tnodded. \\\"Younger?\\\" Younger. \\\"Like\tme,\\\"\tMorrie\tsaid.\t\\\"I\thave\ta\tyounger\tbrother.\\\" Like\tyou,\tI\tsaid.","\\\"He\talso\tcame\tto\tyour\tgraduation,\tdidn't\the?\\\" I\tblinked,\tand\tin\tmy\tmind\tI\tsaw\tus\tall\tthere,\tsixteen\tyears\tearlier,\tthe\thot\tsun,\tthe blue\trobes,\tsquinting\tas\twe\tput\tour\tarms\taround\teach\tother\tand\tposed\tfor Instamatic\tphotos,\tsomeone\tsaying,\t\\\"One,\ttwo,\tthreeee\t.\t.\t.\t\\\" \\\"What\tis\tit?\\\"\tMorrie\tsaid,\tnoticing\tmy\tsudden\tquiet.\t\\\"What's\ton\tyour\tmind?\\\" Nothing,\tI\tsaid,\tchanging\tthe\tsubject. The\ttruth\tis,\tI\tdo\tindeed\thave\ta\tbrother,\ta\tblondhaired,\thazel-eyed,\ttwo-years- younger\tbrother,\twho\tlooks\tso\tunlike\tme\tor\tmy\tdark-haired\tsister\tthat\twe\tused\tto tease\thim\tby\tclaiming\tstrangers\thad\tleft\thim\tas\ta\tbaby\ton\tour\tdoorstep.\t\\\"And one\tday,\\\"\twe'd\tsay,\t\\\"they're\tcoming\tback\tto\tget\tyou.\\\"\tHe\tcried\twhen\twe\tsaid this,\tbut\twe\tsaid\tit\tjust\tthe\tsame. He\tgrew\tup\tthe\tway\tmany\tyoungest\tchildren\tgrow\tup,\tpampered,\tadored,\tand inwardly\ttortured.\tHe\tdreamed\tof\tbeing\tan\tactor\tor\ta\tsinger;\the\treenacted\tTV shows\tat\tthe\tdinner\ttable,\tplaying\tevery\tpart,\this\tbright\tsmile\tpractically\tjumping through\this\tlips.\tI\twas\tthe\tgood\tstudent,\the\twas\tthe\tbad;\tI\twas\tobedient,\the\tbroke the\trules;\tI\tstayed\taway\tfrom\tdrugs\tand\talcohol,\the\ttried\teverything\tyou\tcould ingest.\tHe\tmoved\tto\tEurope\tnot\tlong\tafter\thigh\tschool,\tpreferring\tthe\tmore casual\tlifestyle\the\tfound\tthere.\tYet\the\tremained\tthe\tfamily\tfavorite.\tWhen\the visited\thome,\tin\this\twild\tand\tfunny\tpresence,\tI\toften\tfelt\tstiff\tand\tconservative. As\tdifferent\tas\twe\twere,\tI\treasoned\tthat\tour\tfates\twould\tshoot\tin\topposite directions\tonce\twe\thit\tadulthood.\tI\twas\tright\tin\tall\tways\tbut\tone.\tFrom\tthe\tday my\tuncle\tdied,\tI\tbelieved\tthat\tI\twould\tsuffer\ta\tsimilar\tdeath,\tan\tuntimely\tdisease that\twould\ttake\tme\tout.\tSo\tI\tworked\tat\ta\tfeverish\tpace,\tand\tI\tbraced\tmyself\tfor cancer.\tI\tcould\tfeel\tits\tbreath.\tI\tknew\tit\twas\tcoming.\tI\twaited\tfor\tit\tthe\tway\ta condemned\tman\twaits\tfor\tthe\texecutioner. And\tI\twas\tright.\tIt\tcame.","But\tit\tmissed\tme. It\tstruck\tmy\tbrother. The\tsame\ttype\tof\tcancer\tas\tmy\tuncle.\tThe\tpancreas.\tA\trare\tform.\tAnd\tso\tthe youngest\tof\tour\tfamily,\twith\tthe\tblond\thair\tand\tthe\thazel\teyes,\thad\tthe chemotherapy\tand\tthe\tradiation.\tHis\thair\tfell\tout,\this\tface\twent\tgaunt\tas\ta skeleton.\tIt's\tsupposed\tto\tbe\tme,\tI\tthought.\tBut\tmy\tbrother\twas\tnot\tme,\tand\the was\tnot\tmy\tuncle.\tHe\twas\ta\tfighter,\tand\thad\tbeen\tsince\this\tyoungest\tdays,\twhen we\twrestled\tin\tthe\tbasement\tand\the\tactually\tbit\tthrough\tmy\tshoe\tuntil\tI screamed\tin\tpain\tand\tlet\thim\tgo. And\tso\the\tfought\tback.\tHe\tbattled\tthe\tdisease\tin\tSpain,\twhere\the\tlived,\twith\tthe aid\tof\tan\texperimental\tdrug\tthat\twas\tnot-and\tstill\tis\tnot-available\tin\tthe\tUnited States.\tHe\tflew\tall\tover\tEurope\tfor\ttreatments.\tAfter\tfive\tyears\tof\ttreatment,\tthe drug\tappeared\tto\tchase\tthe\tcancer\tinto\tremission. That\twas\tthe\tgood\tnews.\tThe\tbad\tnews\twas,\tmy\tbrother\tdid\tnot\twant\tme around-not\tme,\tnor\tanyone\tin\tthe\tfamily.\tMuch\tas\twe\ttried\tto\tcall\tand\tvisit,\the held\tus\tat\tbay,\tinsisting\tthis\tfight\twas\tsomething\the\tneeded\tto\tdo\tby\thimself. Months\twould\tpass\twithout\ta\tword\tfrom\thim.\tMessages\ton\this\tanswering machine\twould\tgo\twithout\treply.\tI\twas\tripped\twith\tguilt\tfor\twhat\tI\tfelt\tI\tshould be\tdoing\tfor\thim\tand\tfueled\twith\tanger\tfor\this\tdenying\tus\tthe\tright\tto\tdo\tit. So\tonce\tagain,\tI\tdove\tinto\twork.\tI\tworked\tbecause\tI\tcould\tcontrol\tit.\tI\tworked because\twork\twas\tsensible\tand\tresponsive.\tAnd\teach\ttime\tI\twould\tcall\tmy brother's\tapartment\tin\tSpain\tand\tget\tthe\tanswering\tmachine-him\tspeaking\tin Spanish,\tanother\tsign\tof\thow\tfar\tapart\twe\thad\tdrifted-I\twould\thang\tup\tand\twork some\tmore. Perhaps\tthis\tis\tone\treason\tI\twas\tdrawn\tto\tMorrie.\tHe\tlet\tme\tbe\twhere\tmy\tbrother would\tnot. Looking\tback,\tperhaps\tMorrie\tknew\tthis\tall\talong.","It\tis\ta\twinter\tin\tmy\tchildhood,\ton\ta\tsnow\tpacked\thill\tin\tour\tsuburban neighborhood.\tMy\tbrother\tand\tI\tare\ton\tthe\tsled,\thim\ton\ttop,\tme\ton\tthe\tbottom.\tI feel\this\tchin\ton\tmy\tshoulder\tand\this\tfeet\ton\tthe\tbacks\tof\tmy\tknees. The\tsled\trumbles\ton\ticy\tpatches\tbeneath\tus.\tWe\tpick\tup\tspeed\tas\twe\tdescend\tthe hill. \\\"CAR!\\\"\tsomeone\tyells. We\tsee\tit\tcoming,\tdown\tthe\tstreet\tto\tour\tleft.\tWe\tscream\tand\ttry\tto\tsteer\taway, but\tthe\trunners\tdo\tnot\tmove.\tThe\tdriver\tslams\this\thorn\tand\thits\this\tbrakes,\tand we\tdo\twhat\tall\tkids\tdo:\twe\tjump\toff.\tIn\tour\thooded\tparkas,\twe\troll\tlike\tlogs down\tthe\tcold,\twet\tsnow,\tthinking\tthe\tnext\tthing\tto\ttouch\tus\twill\tbe\tthe\thard rubber\tof\ta\tcar\ttire.\tWe\tare\tyelling\t\\\"AHHHHHH\\\"\tand\twe\tare\ttingling\twith\tfear, turning\tover\tand\tover,\tthe\tworld\tupside\tdown,\tright\tside\tup,\tupside\tdown. And\tthen,\tnothing.\tWe\tstop\trolling\tand\tcatch\tour\tbreath\tand\twipe\tthe\tdripping snow\tfrom\tour\tfaces.\tThe\tdriver\tturns\tdown\tthe\tstreet,\twagging\this\tfinger.\tWe are\tsafe.\tOur\tsled\thas\tthudded\tquietly\tinto\ta\tsnowbank,\tand\tourfriends\tare slapping\tus\tnow,\tsaying\t\\\"Cool\\\"\tand\t\\\"You\tcould\thave\tdied.\\\" I\tgrin\tat\tmy\tbrother,\tand\twe\tare\tunited\tby\tchildish\tpride.\tThat\twasn't\tso\thard,\twe think,\tand\twe\tare\tready\tto\ttake\ton\tdeath\tagain. The\tSixth\tTuesday\tWe\tTalk\tAbout\tEmotions I\twalked\tpast\tthe\tmountain\tlaurels\tand\tthe\tJapanese\tmaple,\tup\tthe\tbluestone steps\tof\tMorrie's\thouse.\tThe\twhite\train\tgutter\thung\tlike\ta\tlid\tover\tthe\tdoorway.\tI rang\tthe\tbell\tand\twas\tgreeted\tnot\tby\tConnie\tbut\tby\tMorrie's\twife,\tCharlotte,\ta beautiful\tgray-haired\twoman\twho\tspoke\tin\ta\tlilting\tvoice.\tShe\twas\tnot\toften\tat home\twhen\tI\tcame\tby-she\tcontinued\tworking\tat\tMIT,\tas\tMorrie\twished-and\tI was\tsurprised\tthis\tmorning\tto\tsee\ther.","\\\"Morrie's\thaving\ta\tbit\tof\ta\thard\ttime\ttoday,\\\"\tshe\tsaid.\tShe\tstared\tover\tmy shoulder\tfor\ta\tmoment,\tthen\tmoved\ttoward\tthe\tkitchen. I'm\tsorry,\tI\tsaid. \\\"No,\tno,\the'll\tbe\thappy\tto\tsee\tyou,\\\"\tshe\tsaid\tquickly.\t\\\"Sure\t.\t.\t.\\\" She\tstopped\tin\tthe\tmiddle\tof\tthe\tsentence,\tturning\ther\thead\tslightly,\tlistening\tfor something.\tThen\tshe\tcontinued.\t\\\"I'm\tsure\t.\t.\t.\the'll\tfeel\tbetter\twhen\the\tknows you're\there.\\\" I\tlifted\tup\tthe\tbags\tfrom\tthe\tmarket-my\tnormal\tfood\tsupply,\tI\tsaid\tjokingly-and she\tseemed\tto\tsmile\tand\tfret\tat\tthe\tsame\ttime. \\\"There's\talready\tso\tmuch\tfood.\tHe\thasn't\teaten\tany\tfrom\tlast\ttime.\\\" This\ttook\tme\tby\tsurprise.\tHe\thasn't\teaten\tany,\tI\tasked? She\topened\tthe\trefrigerator\tand\tI\tsaw\tfamiliar\tcontainers\tof\tchicken\tsalad, vermicelli,\tvegetables,\tstuffed\tsquash,\tall\tthings\tI\thad\tbrought\tfor\tMorrie.\tShe opened\tthe\tfreezer\tand\tthere\twas\teven\tmore. \\\"Morrie\tcan't\teat\tmost\tof\tthis\tfood.\tIt's\ttoo\thard\tfor\thim\tto\tswallow.\tHe\thas\tto\teat soft\tthings\tand\tliquid\tdrinks\tnow.\\\" But\the\tnever\tsaid\tanything,\tI\tsaid. Charlotte\tsmiled.\t\\\"He\tdoesn't\twant\tto\thurt\tyour\tfeelings.\\\" It\twouldn't\thave\thurt\tmy\tfeelings.\tI\tjust\twanted\tto\thelp\tin\tsome\tway.\tI\tmean,\tI just\twanted\tto\tbring\thim\tsomething\t.\t.\t.","\\\"You\tare\tbringing\thim\tsomething.\tHe\tlooks\tforward\tto\tyour\tvisits.\tHe\ttalks about\thaving\tto\tdo\tthis\tproject\twith\tyou,\thow\the\thas\tto\tconcentrate\tand\tput\tthe time\taside.\tI\tthink\tit's\tgiving\thim\ta\tgood\tsense\tof\tpurpose\t.\t.\t.\\\" Again,\tshe\tgave\tthat\tfaraway\tlook,\tthe\ttuning-in-something-from-somewhere- else.\tI\tknew\tMorrie's\tnights\twere\tbecoming\tdifficult,\tthat\the\tdidn't\tsleep\tthrough them,\tand\tthat\tmeant\tCharlotte\toften\tdid\tnot\tsleep\tthrough\tthem\teither. Sometimes\tMorrie\twould\tlie\tawake\tcoughing\tfor\thours-it\twould\ttake\tthat\tlong\tto get\tthe\tphlegm\tfrom\this\tthroat.\tThere\twere\thealth\tcare\tworkers\tnow\tstaying through\tthe\tnight\tand\tall\tthose\tvisitors\tduring\tthe\tday,\tformer\tstudents,\tfellow professors,\tmeditation\tteachers,\ttramping\tin\tand\tout\tof\tthe\thouse.\tOn\tsome\tdays, Morrie\thad\ta\thalf\ta\tdozen\tvisitors,\tand\tthey\twere\toften\tthere\twhen\tCharlotte returned\tfrom\twork.\tShe\thandled\tit\twith\tpatience,\teven\tthough\tall\tthese\toutsiders were\tsoaking\tup\ther\tprecious\tminutes\twith\tMorrie. \\\".\t.\t.\ta\tsense\tof\tpurpose,\\\"\tshe\tcontinued.\t\\\"Yes.\tThat's\tgood,\tyou\tknow.\\\" \\\"I\thope\tso,\\\"\tI\tsaid. I\thelped\tput\tthe\tnew\tfood\tinside\tthe\trefrigerator.\tThe\tkitchen\tcounter\thad\tall kinds\tof\tnotes,\tmessages,\tinformation,\tmedical\tinstructions.\tThe\ttable\theld\tmore pill\tbottles\tthan\tever-Selestone\tfor\this\tasthma,\tAtivan\tto\thelp\thim\tsleep, naproxen\tfor\tinfections-along\twith\ta\tpowdered\tmilk\tmix\tand\tlaxatives.\tFrom down\tthe\thall,\twe\theard\tthe\tsound\tof\ta\tdoor\topen. \\\"Maybe\the's\tavailable\tnow\t.\t.\t.\tlet\tme\tgo\tcheck.\\\" Charlotte\tglanced\tagain\tat\tmy\tfood\tand\tI\tfelt\tsuddenly\tashamed.\tAll\tthese reminders\tof\tthings\tMorrie\twould\tnever\tenjoy. The\tsmall\thorrors\tof\this\tillness\twere\tgrowing,\tand\twhen\tI\tfinally\tsat\tdown\twith Morrie,\the\twas\tcoughing\tmore\tthan\tusual,\ta\tdry,\tdusty\tcough\tthat\tshook\this chest\tand\tmade\this\thead\tjerk\tforward.\tAfter\tone\tviolent\tsurge,\the\tstopped, closed\this\teyes,\tand\ttook\ta\tbreath.\tI\tsat\tquietly\tbecause\tI\tthought\the\twas","recovering\tfrom\this\texertion. \\\"Is\tthe\ttape\ton?\\\"\the\tsaid\tsuddenly,\this\teyes\tstill\tclosed. Yes,\tyes,\tI\tquickly\tsaid,\tpressing\tdown\tthe\tplay\tand\trecord\tbuttons. \\\"What\tI'm\tdoing\tnow,\\\"\the\tcontinued,\this\teyes\tstill\tclosed,\t\\\"is\tdetaching\tmyself from\tthe\texperience.\\\" Detaching\tyourself? \\\"Yes.\tDetaching\tmyself.\tAnd\tthis\tis\timportant-not\tjust\tfor\tsomeone\tlike\tme,\twho is\tdying,\tbut\tfor\tsomeone\tlike\tyou,\twho\tis\tperfectly\thealthy.\tLearn\tto\tdetach.\\\" He\topened\this\teyes.\tHe\texhaled.\t\\\"You\tknow\twhat\tthe\tBuddhists\tsay?\tDon't\tcling to\tthings,\tbecause\teverything\tis\timpermanent.\\\" But\twait,\tI\tsaid.\tAren't\tyou\talways\ttalking\tabout\texperiencing\tlife?\tAll\tthe\tgood emotions,\tall\tthe\tbad\tones? \\\"Yes.\t\\\" Well,\thow\tcan\tyou\tdo\tthat\tif\tyou're\tdetached? \\\"Ah.\tYou're\tthinking,\tMitch.\tBut\tdetachment\tdoesn't\tmean\tyou\tdon't\tlet\tthe experience\tpenetrate\tyou.\tOn\tthe\tcontrary,\tyou\tlet\tit\tpenetrate\tyou\tfully.\tThat's how\tyou\tare\table\tto\tleave\tit.\\\" I'm\tlost. \\\"Take\tany\temotion-love\tfor\ta\twoman,\tor\tgrief\tfor\ta\tloved\tone,\tor\twhat\tI'm\tgoing through,\tfear\tand\tpain\tfrom\ta\tdeadly\tillness.\tIf\tyou\thold\tback\ton\tthe\temotions-if you\tdon't\tallow\tyourself\tto\tgo\tall\tthe\tway\tthrough\tthem-you\tcan\tnever\tget\tto","being\tdetached,\tyou're\ttoo\tbusy\tbeing\tafraid.\tYou're\tafraid\tof\tthe\tpain,\tyou're afraid\tof\tthe\tgrief.\tYou're\tafraid\tof\tthe\tvulnerability\tthat\tloving\tentails. \\\"But\tby\tthrowing\tyourself\tinto\tthese\temotions,\tby\tallowing\tyourself\tto\tdive\tin, all\tthe\tway,\tover\tyour\thead\teven,\tyou\texperience\tthem\tfully\tand\tcompletely.\tYou know\twhat\tpain\tis.\tYou\tknow\twhat\tlove\tis.\tYou\tknow\twhat\tgrief\tis.\tAnd\tonly then\tcan\tyou\tsay,\t`All\tright.\tI\thave\texperienced\tthat\temotion.\tI\trecognize\tthat emotion.\tNow\tI\tneed\tto\tdetach\tfrom\tthat\temotion\tfor\ta\tmoment.'\t\\\" Morrie\tstopped\tand\tlooked\tme\tover,\tperhaps\tto\tmake\tsure\tI\twas\tgetting\tthis right. \\\"I\tknow\tyou\tthink\tthis\tis\tjust\tabout\tdying,\\\"\the\tsaid,\t\\\"but\tit's\tlike\tI\tkeep\ttelling you.\tWhen\tyou\tlearn\thow\tto\tdie,\tyou\tlearn\thow\tto\tlive.\\\" Morrie\ttalked\tabout\this\tmost\tfearful\tmoments,\twhen\the\tfelt\this\tchest\tlocked\tin heaving\tsurges\tor\twhen\the\twasn't\tsure\twhere\this\tnext\tbreath\twould\tcome\tfrom. These\twere\thorrifying\ttimes,\the\tsaid,\tand\this\tfirst\temotions\twere\thorror,\tfear, anxiety.\tBut\tonce\the\trecognized\tthe\tfeel\tof\tthose\temotions,\ttheir\ttexture,\ttheir moisture,\tthe\tshiver\tdown\tthe\tback,\tthe\tquick\tflash\tof\theat\tthat\tcrosses\tyour brain-then\the\twas\table\tto\tsay,\t\\\"Okay.\tThis\tis\tfear.\tStep\taway\tfrom\tit.\tStep\taway.\\\" I\tthought\tabout\thow\toften\tthis\twas\tneeded\tin\teveryday\tlife.\tHow\twe\tfeel\tlonely, sometimes\tto\tthe\tpoint\tof\ttears,\tbut\twe\tdon't\tlet\tthose\ttears\tcome\tbecause\twe\tare not\tsupposed\tto\tcry.\tOr\thow\twe\tfeel\ta\tsurge\tof\tlove\tfor\ta\tpartner\tbut\twe\tdon't\tsay anything\tbecause\twe're\tfrozen\twith\tthe\tfear\tof\twhat\tthose\twords\tmight\tdo\tto\tthe relationship. Morrie's\tapproach\twas\texactly\tthe\topposite.\tTurn\ton\tthe\tfaucet.\tWash\tyourself with\tthe\temotion.\tIt\twon't\thurt\tyou.\tIt\twill\tonly\thelp.\tIf\tyou\tlet\tthe\tfear\tinside,\tif you\tpull\tit\ton\tlike\ta\tfamiliar\tshirt,\tthen\tyou\tcan\tsay\tto\tyourself,\t\\\"All\tright,\tit's just\tfear,\tI\tdon't\thave\tto\tlet\tit\tcontrol\tme.\tI\tsee\tit\tfor\twhat\tit\tis.\\\" Same\tfor\tloneliness:\tyou\tlet\tgo,\tlet\tthe\ttears\tflow,\tfeel\tit\tcompletely-but eventually\tbe\table\tto\tsay,\t\\\"All\tright,\tthat\twas\tmy\tmoment\twith\tloneliness.\tI'm","not\tafraid\tof\tfeeling\tlonely,\tbut\tnow\tI'm\tgoing\tto\tput\tthat\tloneliness\taside\tand know\tthat\tthere\tare\tother\temotions\tin\tthe\tworld,\tand\tI'm\tgoing\tto\texperience them\tas\twell.\\\" \\\"Detach,\\\"\tMorrie\tsaid\tagain. He\tclosed\this\teyes,\tthen\tcoughed.\tThen\the\tcoughed\tagain. Then\the\tcoughed\tagain,\tmore\tloudly. Suddenly,\the\twas\thalf-choking,\tthe\tcongestion\tin\this\tlungs\tseemingly\tteasing him,\tjumping\thalfway\tup,\tthen\tdropping\tback\tdown,\tstealing\this\tbreath.\tHe\twas gagging,\tthen\thacking\tviolently,\tand\the\tshook\this\thands\tin\tfront\tof\thim-with\this eyes\tclosed,\tshaking\this\thands,\the\tappeared\talmost\tpossessed-and\tI\tfelt\tmy forehead\tbreak\tinto\ta\tsweat.\tI\tinstinctively\tpulled\thim\tforward\tand\tslapped\tthe back\tof\this\tshoulders,\tand\the\tpushed\ta\ttissue\tto\this\tmouth\tand\tspit\tout\ta\twad\tof phlegm. The\tcoughing\tstopped,\tand\tMorrie\tdropped\tback\tinto\tthe\tfoam\tpillows\tand sucked\tin\tair. \\\"You\tokay?\tYou\tall\tright?\\\"\tI\tsaid,\ttrying\tto\thide\tmy\tfear. \\\"I'm\t.\t.\t.\tokay,\\\"\tMorrie\twhispered,\traising\ta\tshaky\tfinger.\t\\\"Just\t.\t.\t.\twait\ta minute.\\\" We\tsat\tthere\tquietly\tuntil\this\tbreathing\treturned\tto\tnormal.\tI\tfelt\tthe\tperspiration on\tmy\tscalp.\tHe\tasked\tme\tto\tclose\tthe\twindow,\tthe\tbreeze\twas\tmaking\thim\tcold. I\tdidn't\tmention\tthat\tit\twas\teighty\tdegrees\toutside. Finally,\tin\ta\twhisper,\the\tsaid,\t\\\"I\tknow\thow\tI\twant\tto\tdie.\\\" I\twaited\tin\tsilence.","\\\"I\twant\tto\tdie\tserenely.\tPeacefully.\tNot\tlike\twhat\tjust\thappened. \\\"And\tthis\tis\twhere\tdetachment\tcomes\tin.\tIf\tI\tdie\tin\tthe\tmiddle\tof\ta\tcoughing spell\tlike\tI\tjust\thad,\tI\tneed\tto\tbe\table\tto\tdetach\tfrom\tthe\thorror,\tI\tneed\tto\tsay, `This\tis\tmy\tmoment.' \\\"I\tdon't\twant\tto\tleave\tthe\tworld\tin\ta\tstate\tof\tfright.\tI\twant\tto\tknow\twhat's happening,\taccept\tit,\tget\tto\ta\tpeaceful\tplace,\tand\tlet\tgo.\tDo\tyou\tunderstand?\\\" I\tnodded. Don't\tlet\tgo\tyet,\tI\tadded\tquickly. Morrie\tforced\ta\tsmile.\t\\\"No.\tNot\tyet.\tWe\tstill\thave\twork\tto\tdo.\\\" Do\tyou\tbelieve\tin\treincarnation?\tI\task.\t\\\"Perhaps.\t\\\" What\twould\tyou\tcome\tback\tas?\t`If\tI\thad\tmy\tchoice,\ta\tgazelle.\\\" \\\"\tA\tgazelle?\\\" \\\"Yes.\tSo\tgraceful.\tSo\tfast.\\\" \\\"\tA\tgazelle? Morrie\tsmiles\tat\tme.\t\\\"You\tthink\tthat's\tstrange?\\\" I\tstudy\this\tshrunken\tframe,\tthe\tloose\tclothes,\tthe\tsockswrapped\tfeet\tthat\trest stiffly\ton\tfoam\trubber\tcushions,\tunable\tto\tmove,\tlike\ta\tprisoner\tin\tleg\tirons.\tI picture\ta\tgazelle\tracing\tacross\tthe\tdesert. No,\tI\tsay.\tI\tdon't\tthink\tthat's\tstrange\tat\tall.","The\tProfessor,\tPart\tTwo The\tMorrie\tI\tknew,\tthe\tMorrie\tso\tmany\tothers\tknew,\twould\tnot\thave\tbeen\tthe man\the\twas\twithout\tthe\tyears\the\tspent\tworking\tat\ta\tmental\thospital\tjust\toutside Washington,\tD.C.,\ta\tplace\twith\tthe\tdeceptively\tpeaceful\tname\tof\tChestnut Lodge.\tIt\twas\tone\tof\tMorrie's\tfirst\tjobs\tafter\tplowing\tthrough\ta\tmaster's\tdegree and\ta\tPh.D.\tfrom\tthe\tUniversity\tof\tChicago.\tHaving\trejected\tmedicine,\tlaw,\tand business,\tMorrie\thad\tdecided\tthe\tresearch\tworld\twould\tbe\ta\tplace\twhere\the could\tcontribute\twithout\texploiting\tothers. Morrie\twas\tgiven\ta\tgrant\tto\tobserve\tmental\tpatients\tand\trecord\ttheir\ttreatments. While\tthe\tidea\tseems\tcommon\ttoday,\tit\twas\tgroundbreaking\tin\tthe\tearly\tfifties. Morrie\tsaw\tpatients\twho\twould\tscream\tall\tday.\tPatients\twho\twould\tcry\tall\tnight. Patients\tsoiling\ttheir\tunderwear.\tPatients\trefusing\tto\teat,\thaving\tto\tbe\theld\tdown, medicated,\tfed\tintravenously. One\tof\tthe\tpatients,\ta\tmiddleaged\twoman,\tcame\tout\tof\ther\troom\tevery\tday\tand lay\tfacedown\ton\tthe\ttile\tfloor,\tstayed\tthere\tfor\thours,\tas\tdoctors\tand\tnurses stepped\taround\ther.\tMorrie\twatched\tin\thorror.\tHe\ttook\tnotes,\twhich\tis\twhat\the was\tthere\tto\tdo.\tEvery\tday,\tshe\tdid\tthe\tsame\tthing:\tcame\tout\tin\tthe\tmorning,\tlay on\tthe\tfloor,\tstayed\tthere\tuntil\tthe\tevening,\ttalking\tto\tno\tone,\tignored\tby everyone.\tIt\tsaddened\tMorrie.\tHe\tbegan\tto\tsit\ton\tthe\tfloor\twith\ther,\teven\tlay down\talongside\ther,\ttrying\tto\tdraw\ther\tout\tof\ther\tmisery.\tEventually,\the\tgot\ther to\tsit\tup,\tand\teven\tto\treturn\tto\ther\troom.\tWhat\tshe\tmostly\twanted,\the\tlearned, was\tthe\tsame\tthing\tmany\tpeople\twant-someone\tto\tnotice\tshe\twas\tthere. Morrie\tworked\tat\tChestnut\tLodge\tfor\tfive\tyears.\tAlthough\tit\twasn't\tencouraged, he\tbefriended\tsome\tof\tthe\tpatients,\tincluding\ta\twoman\twho\tjoked\twith\thim about\thow\tlucky\tshe\twas\tto\tbe\tthere\t\\\"because\tmy\thusband\tis\trich\tso\the\tcan afford\tit.\tCan\tyou\timagine\tif\tI\thad\tto\tbe\tin\tone\tof\tthose\tcheap\tmental\thospitals?\\\" Another\twoman-who\twould\tspit\tat\teveryone\telse\ttook\tto\tMorrie\tand\tcalled\thim her\tfriend.\tThey\ttalked\teach\tday,\tand\tthe\tstaff\twas\tat\tleast\tencouraged\tthat","someone\thad\tgotten\tthrough\tto\ther.\tBut\tone\tday\tshe\tran\taway,\tand\tMorrie\twas asked\tto\thelp\tbring\ther\tback.\tThey\ttracked\ther\tdown\tin\ta\tnearby\tstore,\thiding\tin the\tback,\tand\twhen\tMorrie\twent\tin,\tshe\tburned\tan\tangry\tlook\tat\thim. \\\"So\tyou're\tone\tof\tthem,\ttoo,\\\"\tshe\tsnarled. \\\"One\tof\twho?\\\" \\\"My\tjailers.\\\" Morrie\tobserved\tthat\tmost\tof\tthe\tpatients\tthere\thad\tbeen\trejected\tand\tignored\tin their\tlives,\tmade\tto\tfeel\tthat\tthey\tdidn't\texist.\tThey\talso\tmissed\tcompassion- something\tthe\tstaff\tran\tout\tof\tquickly.\tAnd\tmany\tof\tthese\tpatients\twere\twell-off, from\trich\tfamilies,\tso\ttheir\twealth\tdid\tnot\tbuy\tthem\thappiness\tor\tcontentment.\tIt was\ta\tlesson\the\tnever\tforgot. I\tused\tto\ttease\tMorrie\tthat\the\twas\tstuck\tin\tthe\tsixties.\tHe\twould\tanswer\tthat\tthe sixties\tweren't\tso\tbad,\tcompared\tto\tthe\ttimes\twe\tlived\tin\tnow. He\tcame\tto\tBrandeis\tafter\this\twork\tin\tthe\tmental\thealth\tfield,\tjust\tbefore\tthe sixties\tbegan.\tWithin\ta\tfew\tyears,\tthe\tcampus\tbecame\ta\thotbed\tfor\tcultural revolution.\tDrugs,\tsex,\trace,\tVietnam\tprotests.\tAbbie\tHoffman\tattended Brandeis.\tSo\tdid\tJerry\tRubin\tand\tAngela\tDavis.\tMorrie\thad\tmany\tof\tthe \\\"radical\\\"\tstudents\tin\this\tclasses. That\twas\tpartly\tbecause,\tinstead\tof\tsimply\tteaching,\tthe\tsociology\tfaculty\tgot involved.\tIt\twas\tfiercely\tantiwar,\tfor\texample.\tWhen\tthe\tprofessors\tlearned\tthat students\twho\tdid\tnot\tmaintain\ta\tcertain\tgrade\tpoint\taverage\tcould\tlose\ttheir deferments\tand\tbe\tdrafted,\tthey\tdecided\tnot\tto\tgive\tany\tgrades.\tWhen\tthe administration\tsaid,\t\\\"If\tyou\tdon't\tgive\tthese\tstudents\tgrades,\tthey\twill\tall\tfail,\\\" Morrie\thad\ta\tsolution:\t\\\"Let's\tgive\tthem\tall\tA's.\\\"\tAnd\tthey\tdid. Just\tas\tthe\tsixties\topened\tup\tthe\tcampus,\tit\talso\topened\tup\tthe\tstaff\tin\tMorrie's department,\tfrom\tthe\tjeans\tand\tsandals\tthey\tnow\twore\twhen\tworking\tto\ttheir","view\tof\tthe\tclassroom\tas\ta\tliving,\tbreathing\tplace.\tThey\tchose\tdiscussions\tover lectures,\texperience\tover\ttheory.\tThey\tsent\tstudents\tto\tthe\tDeep\tSouth\tfor\tcivil rights\tprojects\tand\tto\tthe\tinner\tcity\tfor\tfieldwork.\tThey\twent\tto\tWashington\tfor protest\tmarches,\tand\tMorrie\toften\trode\tthe\tbusses\twith\this\tstudents.\tOn\tone\ttrip, he\twatched\twith\tgentle\tamusement\tas\twomen\tin\tflowing\tskirts\tand\tlove\tbeads put\tflowers\tin\tsoldiers'\tguns,\tthen\tsat\ton\tthe\tlawn,\tholding\thands,\ttrying\tto levitate\tthe\tPentagon. \\\"They\tdidn't\tmove\tit,\\\"\the\tlater\trecalled,\t\\\"but\tit\twas\ta\tnice\ttry.\\\" One\ttime,\ta\tgroup\tof\tblack\tstudents\ttook\tover\tFord\tHall\ton\tthe\tBrandeis\tcampus, draping\tit\tin\ta\tbanner\tthat\tread\tMALCOLM\tX\tUNIVERSITY.\tFord\tHall\thad chemistry\tlabs,\tand\tsome\tadministration\tofficials\tworried\tthat\tthese\tradicals were\tmaking\tbombs\tin\tthe\tbasement.\tMorrie\tknew\tbetter.\tHe\tsaw\tright\tto\tthe core\tof\tthe\tproblem,\twhich\twas\thuman\tbeings\twanting\tto\tfeel\tthat\tthey\tmattered. The\tstandoff\tlasted\tfor\tweeks.\tAnd\tit\tmight\thave\tgone\ton\teven\tlonger\tif\tMorrie hadn't\tbeen\twalking\tby\tthe\tbuilding\twhen\tone\tof\tthe\tprotesters\trecognized\thim as\ta\tfavorite\tteacher\tand\tyelled\tfor\thim\tto\tcome\tin\tthrough\tthe\twindow. An\thour\tlater,\tMorrie\tcrawled\tout\tthrough\tthe\twindow\twith\ta\tlist\tof\twhat\tthe protesters\twanted.\tHe\ttook\tthe\tlist\tto\tthe\tuniversity\tpresident,\tand\tthe\tsituation was\tdiffused. Morrie\talways\tmade\tgood\tpeace. At\tBrandeis,\the\ttaught\tclasses\tabout\tsocial\tpsychology,\tmental\tillness\tand health,\tgroup\tprocess.\tThey\twere\tlight\ton\twhat\tyou'd\tnow\tcall\t\\\"career\tskills\\\"\tand heavy\ton\t\\\"personal\tdevelopment.\\\" And\tbecause\tof\tthis,\tbusiness\tand\tlaw\tstudents\ttoday\tmight\tlook\tat\tMorrie\tas foolishly\tnaive\tabout\this\tcontributions.\tHow\tmuch\tmoney\tdid\this\tstudents\tgo\ton to\tmake?\tHow\tmany\tbig-time\tcases\tdid\tthey\twin? Then\tagain,\thow\tmany\tbusiness\tor\tlaw\tstudents\tever\tvisit\ttheir\told\tprofessors","once\tthey\tleave?\tMorrie's\tstudents\tdid\tthat\tall\tthe\ttime.\tAnd\tin\this\tfinal\tmonths, they\tcame\tback\tto\thim,\thundreds\tof\tthem,\tfrom\tBoston,\tNew\tYork,\tCalifornia, London,\tand\tSwitzerland;\tfrom\tcorporate\toffices\tand\tinner\tcity\tschool\tprograms. They\tcalled.\tThey\twrote.\tThey\tdrove\thundreds\tof\tmiles\tfor\ta\tvisit,\ta\tword,\ta smile. \\\"I've\tnever\thad\tanother\tteacher\tlike\tyou,\\\"\tthey\tall\tsaid. As\tmy\tvisits\twith\tMorrie\tgo\ton,\tI\tbegin\tto\tread\tabout\tdeath_,\thow\tdifferent cultures\tview\tthe\tfinal\tpassage.\tThere\tis\ta\ttribe\tin\tthe\tNorth\tAmerican\tArctic,\tfor example,\twho\tbelieve\tthat\tall\tthings\ton\tearth\thave\ta\tsoul\tthat\texists\tin\ta miniature\tform\tof\tthe\tbody\tthat\tholds\tit-so\tthat\ta\tdeer\thas\ta\ttiny\tdeer\tinside\tit, and\ta\tman\thas\ta\ttiny\tman\tinside\thim.\tWhen\tthe\tlarge\tbeing\tdies,\tthat\ttiny\tform lives\ton.\tIt\tcan\tslide\tinto\tsomething\tbeing\tborn\tnearby,\tor\tit\tcan\tgo\tto\ta temporary\tresting\tplace\tin\tthe\tsky,\tin\tthe\tbelly\tof\ta\tgreat\tfeminine\tspirit,\twhere\tit waits\tuntil\tthe\tmoon\tcan\tsend\tit\tback\tto\tearth. Sometimes,\tthey\tsay,\tthe\tmoon\tis\tso\tbusy\twith\tthe\tnew\tsouls\tof\tthe\tworld\tthat\tit disappears\tfrom\tthe\tsky.\tThat\tis\twhy\twe\thave\tmoonless\tnights.\tBut\tin\tthe\tend, the\tmoon\talways\treturns,\tas\tdo\twe\tall. That\tis\twhat\tthey\tbelieve. The\tSeventh\tTuesday\tWe\tTalk\tAbout\tthe\tFear\to\tf\tAging Morrie\tlost\this\tbattle.\tSomeone\twas\tnow\twiping\this\tbehind. He\tfaced\tthis\twith\ttypically\tbrave\tacceptance.\tNo\tlonger\table\tto\treach\tbehind him\twhen\the\tused\tthe\tcommode,\the\tinformed\tConnie\tof\this\tlatest\tlimitation. \\\"Would\tyou\tbe\tembarrassed\tto\tdo\tit\tfor\tme?\\\"\tShe\tsaid\tno. I\tfound\tit\ttypical\tthat\the\tasked\ther\tfirst.","It\ttook\tsome\tgetting\tused\tto,\tMorrie\tadmitted,\tbecause\tit\twas,\tin\ta\tway,\tcomplete surrender\tto\tthe\tdisease.\tThe\tmost\tpersonal\tand\tbasic\tthings\thad\tnow\tbeen\ttaken from\thim-going\tto\tthe\tbathroom,\twiping\this\tnose,\twashing\this\tprivate\tparts. With\tthe\texception\tof\tbreathing\tand\tswallowing\this\tfood,\the\twas\tdependent\ton others\tfor\tnearly\teverything. I\tasked\tMorrie\thow\the\tmanaged\tto\tstay\tpositive\tthrough\tthat. \\\"Mitch,\tit's\tfunny,\\\"\the\tsaid.\t\\\"I'm\tan\tindependent\tperson,\tso\tmy\tinclination\twas\tto fight\tall\tof\tthis-being\thelped\tfrom\tthe\tcar,\thaving\tsomeone\telse\tdress\tme.\tI\tfelt\ta little\tashamed,\tbecause\tour\tculture\ttells\tus\twe\tshould\tbe\tashamed\tif\twe\tcan't wipe\tour\town\tbehind.\tBut\tthen\tI\tfigured,\tForget\twhat\tthe\tculture\tsays.\tI\thave ignored\tthe\tculture\tmuch\tof\tmy\tlife.\tI\tam\tnot\tgoing\tto\tbe\tashamed.\tWhat's\tthe big\tdeal? \\\"And\tyou\tknow\twhat?\tThe\tstrangest\tthing.\\\"\tWhat's\tthat? \\\"I\tbegan\tto\tenjoy\tmy\tdependency.\tNow\tI\tenjoy\twhen\tthey\tturn\tme\tover\ton\tmy side\tand\trub\tcream\ton\tmy\tbehind\tso\tI\tdon't\tget\tsores.\tOr\twhen\tthey\twipe\tmy brow,\tor\tthey\tmassage\tmy\tlegs.\tI\trevel\tin\tit.\tI\tclose\tmy\teyes\tand\tsoak\tit\tup.\tAnd it\tseems\tvery\tfamiliar\tto\tme. \\\"It's\tlike\tgoing\tback\tto\tbeing\ta\tchild\tagain.\tSomeone\tto\tbathe\tyou.\tSomeone\tto lift\tyou.\tSomeone\tto\twipe\tyou.\tWe\tall\tknow\thow\tto\tbe\ta\tchild.\tIt's\tinside\tall\tof us.\tFor\tme,\tit's\tjust\tremembering\thow\tto\tenjoy\tit. \\\"The\ttruth\tis,\twhen\tour\tmothers\theld\tus,\trocked\tus,\tstroked\tour\theads-none\tof\tus ever\tgot\tenough\tof\tthat.\tWe\tall\tyearn\tin\tsome\tway\tto\treturn\tto\tthose\tdays\twhen we\twere\tcompletely\ttaken\tcare\tof-unconditional\tlove,\tunconditional\tattention. Most\tof\tus\tdidn't\tget\tenough. \\\"I\tknow\tI\tdidn't.\\\"","I\tlooked\tat\tMorrie\tand\tI\tsuddenly\tknew\twhy\the\tso\tenjoyed\tmy\tleaning\tover\tand adjusting\this\tmicrophone,\tor\tfussing\twith\tthe\tpillows,\tor\twiping\this\teyes. Human\ttouch.\tAt\tseventy-eight,\the\twas\tgiving\tas\tan\tadult\tand\ttaking\tas\ta\tchild. Later\tthat\tday,\twe\ttalked\tabout\taging.\tOr\tmaybe\t1\tshould\tsay\tthe\tfear\tof\taging- another\tof\tthe\tissues\ton\tmy\twhat's-bugging-my-generation\tlist.\tOn\tmy\tride\tfrom the\tBoston\tairport,\tI\thad\tcounted\tthe\tbillboards\tthat\tfeatured\tyoung\tand\tbeautiful people.\tThere\twas\ta\thandsome\tyoung\tman\tin\ta\tcowboy\that,\tsmoking\ta\tcigarette, two\tbeautiful\tyoung\twomen\tsmiling\tover\ta\tshampoo\tbottle,\ta\tsultrylooking teenager\twith\ther\tjeans\tunsnapped,\tand\ta\tsexy\twoman\tin\ta\tblack\tvelvet\tdress, next\tto\ta\tman\tin\ta\ttuxedo,\tthe\ttwo\tof\tthem\tsnuggling\ta\tglass\tof\tscotch. Not\tonce\tdid\tI\tsee\tanyone\twho\twould\tpass\tfor\tover\tthirty-five.\tI\ttold\tMorrie\tI was\talready\tfeeling\tover\tthe\thill,\tmuch\tas\tI\ttried\tdesperately\tto\tstay\ton\ttop\tof\tit. I\tworked\tout\tconstantly.\tWatched\twhat\tI\tate.\tChecked\tmy\thairline\tin\tthe\tmirror.\tI had\tgone\tfrom\tbeing\tproud\tto\tsay\tmy\tage-because\tof\tall\tI\thad\tdone\tso\tyoung-to not\tbringing\tit\tup,\tfor\tfear\tI\twas\tgetting\ttoo\tclose\tto\tforty\tand,\ttherefore, professional\toblivion. Morrie\thad\taging\tin\tbetter\tperspective. \\\"All\tthis\temphasis\ton\tyouth-I\tdon't\tbuy\tit,\\\"\the\tsaid.\t\\\"Listen,\tI\tknow\twhat\ta misery\tbeing\tyoung\tcan\tbe,\tso\tdon't\ttell\tme\tit's\tso\tgreat.\tAll\tthese\tkids\twho\tcame to\tme\twith\ttheir\tstruggles,\ttheir\tstrife,\ttheir\tfeelings\tof\tinadequacy,\ttheir\tsense that\tlife\twas\tmiserable,\tso\tbad\tthey\twanted\tto\tkill\tthemselves\t.\t.\t. \\\"And,\tin\taddition\tto\tall\tthe\tmiseries,\tthe\tyoung\tare\tnot\twise.\tThey\thave\tvery little\tunderstanding\tabout\tlife.\tWho\twants\tto\tlive\tevery\tday\twhen\tyou\tdon't know\twhat's\tgoing\ton?\tWhen\tpeople\tare\tmanipulating\tyou,\ttelling\tyou\tto\tbuy this\tperfume\tand\tyou'll\tbe\tbeautiful,\tor\tthis\tpair\tof\tjeans\tand\tyou'll\tbe\tsexy-and you\tbelieve\tthem!\tIt's\tsuch\tnonsense.\\\" Weren't\tyou\tever\tafraid\tto\tgrow\told,\tI\tasked?","\\\"Mitch,\tI\tembrace\taging.\\\" Embrace\tit? \\\"It's\tvery\tsimple.\tAs\tyou\tgrow,\tyou\tlearn\tmore.\tIf\tyou\tstayed\tat\ttwenty-two, you'd\talways\tbe\tas\tignorant\tas\tyou\twere\tat\ttwenty-two.\tAging\tis\tnot\tjust\tdecay, you\tknow.\tIt's\tgrowth.\tIt's\tmore\tthan\tthe\tnegative\tthat\tyou're\tgoing\tto\tdie,\tit's also\tthe\tpositive\tthat\tyou\tunderstand\tyou're\tgoing\tto\tdie,\tand\tthat\tyou\tlive\ta better\tlife\tbecause\tof\tit.\\\" Yes,\tI\tsaid,\tbut\tif\taging\twere\tso\tvaluable,\twhy\tdo\tpeople\talways\tsay,\t\\\"Oh,\tif\tI were\tyoung\tagain.\\\"\tYou\tnever\thear\tpeople\tsay,\t\\\"I\twish\tI\twere\tsixty-five.\\\" He\tsmiled.\t\\\"You\tknow\twhat\tthat\treflects?\tUnsatisfied\tlives.\tUnfulfilled\tlives. Lives\tthat\thaven't\tfound\tmeaning.\tBecause\tif\tyou've\tfound\tmeaning\tin\tyour\tlife, you\tdon't\twant\tto\tgo\tback.\tYou\twant\tto\tgo\tforward.\tYou\twant\tto\tsee\tmore,\tdo more.\tYou\tcan't\twait\tuntil\tsixty-five.\t\\\"Listen.\tYou\tshould\tknow\tsomething.\tAll younger\tpeople\tshould\tknow\tsomething.\tIf\tyou're\talways\tbattling\tagainst\tgetting older,\tyou're\talways\tgoing\tto\tbe\tunhappy,\tbecause\tit\twill\thappen\tanyhow. \\\"And\tMitch?\\\" He\tlowered\this\tvoice. \\\"The\tfact\tis,\tyou\tare\tgoing\tto\tdie\teventually.\\\"\tI\tnodded. \\\"It\twon't\tmatter\twhat\tyou\ttell\tyourself.\\\"\tI\tknow. \\\"But\thopefully,\\\"\the\tsaid,\t\\\"not\tfor\ta\tlong,\tlong\ttime.\\\"\tHe\tclosed\this\teyes\twith\ta peaceful\tlook,\tthen\tasked\tme\tto\tadjust\tthe\tpillows\tbehind\this\thead.\tHis\tbody needed\tconstant\tadjustment\tto\tstay\tcomfortable.\tIt\twas\tpropped\tin\tthe\tchair\twith white\tpillows,\tyellow\tfoam,\tand\tblue\ttowels.\tAt\ta\tquick\tglance,\tit\tseemed\tas\tif Morrie\twere\tbeing\tpacked\tfor\tshipping.","\\\"Thank\tyou,\\\"\the\twhispered\tas\tI\tmoved\tthe\tpillows.\tNo\tproblem,\tI\tsaid. \\\"Mitch.\tWhat\tare\tyou\tthinking?\\\" I\tpaused\tbefore\tanswering.\tOkay,\tI\tsaid,\tI'm\twondering\thow\tyou\tdon't\tenvy younger,\thealthy\tpeople. \\\"Oh,\tI\tguess\tI\tdo.\\\"\tHe\tclosed\this\teyes.\t\\\"I\tenvy\tthem\tbeing\table\tto\tgo\tto\tthe health\tclub,\tor\tgo\tfor\ta\tswim.\tOr\tdance.\tMostly\tfor\tdancing.\tBut\tenvy\tcomes\tto me,\tI\tfeel\tit,\tand\tthen\tI\tlet\tit\tgo.\tRemember\twhat\tI\tsaid\tabout\tdetachment?\tLet\tit go.\tTell\tyourself,\t`That's\tenvy,\tI'm\tgoing\tto\tseparate\tfrom\tit\tnow.'\tAnd\twalk away.\\\" He\tcoughed-a\tlong,\tscratchy\tcough-and\the\tpushed\ta\ttissue\tto\this\tmouth\tand\tspit weakly\tinto\tit.\tSitting\tthere,\tI\tfelt\tso\tmuch\tstronger\tthan\the,\tridiculously\tso,\tas\tif I\tcould\tlift\thim\tand\ttoss\thim\tover\tmy\tshoulder\tlike\ta\tsack\tof\tflour.\tI\twas embarrassed\tby\tthis\tsuperiority,\tbecause\tI\tdid\tnot\tfeel\tsuperior\tto\thim\tin\tany other\tway. How\tdo\tyou\tkeep\tfrom\tenvying\t.\t.\t. \\\"What?\\\" Me? He\tsmiled. \\\"Mitch,\tit\tis\timpossible\tfor\tthe\told\tnot\tto\tenvy\tthe\tyoung.\tBut\tthe\tissue\tis\tto accept\twho\tyou\tare\tand\trevel\tin\tthat.\tThis\tis\tyour\ttime\tto\tbe\tin\tyour\tthirties.\tI had\tmy\ttime\tto\tbe\tin\tmy\tthirties,\tand\tnow\tis\tmy\ttime\tto\tbe\tseventy-eight. \\\"You\thave\tto\tfind\twhat's\tgood\tand\ttrue\tand\tbeautiful\tin\tyour\tlife\tas\tit\tis\tnow. Looking\tback\tmakes\tyou\tcompetitive.\tAnd,\tage\tis\tnot\ta\tcompetitive\tissue.\\\"","He\texhaled\tand\tlowered\this\teyes,\tas\tif\tto\twatch\this\tbreath\tscatter\tinto\tthe\tair. \\\"The\ttruth\tis,\tpart\tof\tme\tis\tevery\tage.\tI'm\ta\tthree-year-old,\tI'm\ta\tfive-year-old, I'm\ta\tthirty-seven-year-old,\tI'm\ta\tfifty-year-old.\tI've\tbeen\tthrough\tall\tof\tthem, and\tI\tknow\twhat\tit's\tlike.\tI\tdelight\tin\tbeing\ta\tchild\twhen\tit's\tappropriate\tto\tbe\ta child.\tI\tdelight\tin\tbeing\ta\twise\told\tman\twhen\tit's\tappropriate\tto\tbe\ta\twise\told man.\tThink\tof\tall\tI\tcan\tbe!\tI\tam\tevery\tage,\tup\tto\tmy\town.\tDo\tyou\tunderstand?\\\" I\tnodded. \\\"How\tcan\tI\tbe\tenvious\tof\twhere\tyou\tare-when\tI've\tbeen\tthere\tmyself?\\\" \\\"Fate\tsuccumbs\tmany\ta\tspecies:\tone\talone\tjeopardises\titself.\\\" -W.\tH.\tAUDEN,\tMORRIE\t'S\tFAVORITE\t\\\"\tPOET The\tEighth\tTuesday\tWe\tTalk\tAbout\tMoney I\theld\tup\tthe\tnewspaper\tso\tthat\tMorrie\tcould\tsee\tit: I\tDON'T\tWANT\tMY\tTOMBSTONE\tTO\tREAD I\tNEVER\tOWNED\tA\tNETWORK.\\\" Morrie\tlaughed,\tthen\tshook\this\thead.\tThe\tmorning\tsun\twas\tcoming\tthrough\tthe window\tbehind\thim,\tfalling\ton\tthe\tpink\tflowers\tof\tthe\thibiscus\tplant\tthat\tsat\ton the\tsill.\tThe\tquote\twas\tfrom\tTed\tTurner,\tthe\tbillionaire\tmedia\tmogul,\tfounder\tof CNN,\twho\thad\tbeen\tlamenting\this\tinability\tto\tsnatch\tup\tthe\tCBS\tnetwork\tin\ta corporate\tmegadeal.\tI\thad\tbrought\tthe\tstory\tto\tMorrie\tthis\tmorning\tbecause\tI","wondered\tif\tTurner\tever\tfound\thimself\tin\tmy\told\tprofessor's\tposition,\this\tbreath disappearing,\this\tbody\tturning\tto\tstone,\this\tdays\tbeing\tcrossed\toff\tthe\tcalendar one\tby\tone-would\the\treally\tbe\tcrying\tover\towning\ta\tnetwork? \\\"It's\tall\tpart\tof\tthe\tsame\tproblem,\tMitch,\\\"\tMorrie\tsaid.\t\\\"We\tput\tour\tvalues\tin\tthe wrong\tthings.\tAnd\tit\tleads\tto\tvery\tdisillusioned\tlives.\tI\tthink\twe\tshould\ttalk about\tthat.\\\" Morrie\twas\tfocused.\tThere\twere\tgood\tdays\tand\tbad\tdays\tnow.\tHe\twas\thaving\ta good\tday.\tThe\tnight\tbefore,\the\thad\tbeen\tentertained\tby\ta\tlocal\ta\tcappella\tgroup that\thad\tcome\tto\tthe\thouse\tto\tperform,\tand\the\trelayed\tthe\tstory\texcitedly,\tas\tif the\tInk\tSpots\tthemselves\thad\tdropped\tby\tfor\ta\tvisit.\tMorrie's\tlove\tfor\tmusic\twas strong\teven\tbefore\the\tgot\tsick,\tbut\tnow\tit\twas\tso\tintense,\tit\tmoved\thim\tto\ttears. He\twould\tlisten\tto\topera\tsometimes\tat\tnight,\tclosing\this\teyes,\triding\talong\twith the\tmagnificent\tvoices\tas\tthey\tdipped\tand\tsoared. \\\"You\tshould\thave\theard\tthis\tgroup\tlast\tnight,\tMitch.\tSuch\ta\tsound!\\\" Morrie\thad\talways\tbeen\ttaken\twith\tsimple\tpleasures,\tsinging,\tlaughing,\tdancing. Now,\tmore\tthan\tever,\tmaterial\tthings\theld\tlittle\tor\tno\tsignificance.\tWhen\tpeople die,\tyou\talways\thear\tthe\texpression\t\\\"You\tcan't\ttake\tit\twith\tyou.\\\"\tMorrie\tseemed to\tknow\tthat\ta\tlong\ttime\tago. \\\"We've\tgot\ta\tform\tof\tbrainwashing\tgoing\ton\tin\tour\tcountry,\\\"\tMorrie\tsighed.\t\\\"Do you\tknow\thow\tthey\tbrainwash\tpeople?\tThey\trepeat\tsomething\tover\tand\tover. And\tthat's\twhat\twe\tdo\tin\tthis\tcountry.\tOwning\tthings\tis\tgood.\tMore\tmoney\tis good.\tMore\tproperty\tis\tgood.\tMore\tcommercialism\tis\tgood.\tMore\tis\tgood.\tMore is\tgood.\tWe\trepeat\tit-and\thave\tit\trepeated\tto\tus-over\tand\tover\tuntil\tnobody bothers\tto\teven\tthink\totherwise.\tThe\taverage\tperson\tis\tso\tfogged\tup\tby\tall\tthis, he\thas\tno\tperspective\ton\twhat's\treally\timportant\tanymore. \\\"Wherever\tI\twent\tin\tmy\tlife,\tI\tmet\tpeople\twanting\tto\tgobble\tup\tsomething\tnew. Gobble\tup\ta\tnew\tcar.\tGobble\tup\ta\tnew\tpiece\tof\tproperty.\tGobble\tup\tthe\tlatest toy.\tAnd\tthen\tthey\twanted\tto\ttell\tyou\tabout\tit.\t`Guess\twhat\tI\tgot?\tGuess\twhat\tI got?'","\\\"You\tknow\thow\tI\talways\tinterpreted\tthat?\tThese\twere\tpeople\tso\thungry\tfor\tlove that\tthey\twere\taccepting\tsubstitutes.\tThey\twere\tembracing\tmaterial\tthings\tand expecting\ta\tsort\tof\thug\tback.\tBut\tit\tnever\tworks.\tYou\tcan't\tsubstitute\tmaterial things\tfor\tlove\tor\tfor\tgentleness\tor\tfor\ttenderness\tor\tfor\ta\tsense\tof\tcomradeship. \\\"Money\tis\tnot\ta\tsubstitute\tfor\ttenderness,\tand\tpower\tis\tnot\ta\tsubstitute\tfor tenderness.\tI\tcan\ttell\tyou,\tas\tI'm\tsitting\there\tdying,\twhen\tyou\tmost\tneed\tit, neither\tmoney\tnor\tpower\twill\tgive\tyou\tthe\tfeeling\tyou're\tlooking\tfor,\tno\tmatter how\tmuch\tof\tthem\tyou\thave.\\\" I\tglanced\taround\tMorrie's\tstudy.\tIt\twas\tthe\tsame\ttoday\tas\tit\thad\tbeen\tthe\tfirst day\tI\tarrived.\tThe\tbooks\theld\ttheir\tsame\tplaces\ton\tthe\tshelves.\tThe\tpapers cluttered\tthe\tsame\told\tdesk.\tThe\toutside\trooms\thad\tnot\tbeen\timproved\tor upgraded.\tIn\tfact,\tMorrie\treally\thadn't\tbought\tanything\tnew-except\tmedical equipment-in\ta\tlong,\tlong\ttime,\tmaybe\tyears.\tThe\tday\the\tlearned\tthat\the\twas terminally\till\twas\tthe\tday\the\tlost\tinterest\tin\this\tpurchasing\tpower. So\tthe\tTV\twas\tthe\tsame\told\tmodel,\tthe\tcar\tthat\tCharlotte\tdrove\twas\tthe\tsame\told model,\tthe\tdishes\tand\tthe\tsilverware\tand\tthe\ttowels-all\tthe\tsame.\tAnd\tyet\tthe house\thad\tchanged\tso\tdrastically.\tIt\thad\tfilled\twith\tlove\tand\tteaching\tand communication.\tIt\thad\tfilled\twith\tfriendship\tand\tfamily\tand\thonesty\tand\ttears.\tIt had\tfilled\twith\tcolleagues\tand\tstudents\tand\tmeditation\tteachers\tand\ttherapists and\tnurses\tand\ta\tcappella\tgroups.\tIt\thad\tbecome,\tin\ta\tvery\treal\tway,\ta\twealthy home,\teven\tthough\tMorrie's\tbank\taccount\twas\trapidly\tdepleting. \\\"There's\ta\tbig\tconfusion\tin\tthis\tcountry\tover\twhat\twe\twant\tversus\twhat\twe need,\\\"\tMorrie\tsaid.\t\\\"You\tneed\tfood,\tyou\twant\ta\tchocolate\tsundae.\tYou\thave\tto be\thonest\twith\tyourself.\tYou\tdon't\tneed\tthe\tlatest\tsports\tcar,\tyou\tdon't\tneed\tthe biggest\thouse. \\\"The\ttruth\tis,\tyou\tdon't\tget\tsatisfaction\tfrom\tthose\tthings.\tYou\tknow\twhat\treally gives\tyou\tsatisfaction?\\\"\tWhat? \\\"Offering\tothers\twhat\tyou\thave\tto\tgive.\\\"","You\tsound\tlike\ta\tBoy\tScout. \\\"I\tdon't\tmean\tmoney,\tMitch.\tI\tmean\tyour\ttime.\tYour\tconcern.\tYour\tstorytelling. It's\tnot\tso\thard.\tThere's\ta\tsenior\tcenter\tthat\topened\tnear\there.\tDozens\tof\telderly people\tcome\tthere\tevery\tday.\tIf\tyou're\ta\tyoung\tman\tor\tyoung\twoman\tand\tyou have\ta\tskill,\tyou\tare\tasked\tto\tcome\tand\tteach\tit.\tSay\tyou\tknow\tcomputers.\tYou come\tthere\tand\tteach\tthem\tcomputers.\tYou\tare\tvery\twelcome\tthere.\tAnd\tthey are\tvery\tgrateful.\tThis\tis\thow\tyou\tstart\tto\tget\trespect,\tby\toffering\tsomething\tthat you\thave. \\\"There\tare\tplenty\tof\tplaces\tto\tdo\tthis.\tYou\tdon't\tneed\tto\thave\ta\tbig\ttalent.\tThere are\tlonely\tpeople\tin\thospitals\tand\tshelters\twho\tonly\twant\tsome\tcompanionship. You\tplay\tcards\twith\ta\tlonely\tolder\tman\tand\tyou\tfind\tnew\trespect\tfor\tyourself, because\tyou\tare\tneeded.\t\\\"Remember\twhat\tI\tsaid\tabout\tfinding\ta\tmeaningful life?\tI\twrote\tit\tdown,\tbut\tnow\tI\tcan\trecite\tit:\tDevote\tyourself\tto\tloving\tothers, devote\tyourself\tto\tyour\tcommunity\taround\tyou,\tand\tdevote\tyourself\tto\tcreating something\tthat\tgives\tyou\tpurpose\tand\tmeaning. \\\"You\tnotice,\\\"\the\tadded,\tgrinning,\t\\\"there's\tnothing\tin\tthere\tabout\ta\tsalary.\\\" I\tjotted\tsome\tof\tthe\tthings\tMorrie\twas\tsaying\ton\ta\tyellow\tpad.\tI\tdid\tthis\tmostly because\tI\tdidn't\twant\thim\tto\tsee\tmy\teyes,\tto\tknow\twhat\tI\twas\tthinking,\tthat\tI had\tbeen,\tfor\tmuch\tof\tmy\tlife\tsince\tgraduation,\tpursuing\tthese\tvery\tthings\the had\tbeen\trailing\tagainst-bigger\ttoys,\tnicer\thouse.\tBecause\tI\tworked\tamong\trich and\tfamous\tathletes,\tI\tconvinced\tmyself\tthat\tmy\tneeds\twere\trealistic,\tmy\tgreed inconsequential\tcompared\tto\ttheirs. This\twas\ta\tsmokescreen.\tMorrie\tmade\tthat\tobvious.\t\\\"Mitch,\tif\tyou're\ttrying\tto show\toff\tfor\tpeople\tat\tthe\ttop,\tforget\tit.\tThey\twill\tlook\tdown\tat\tyou\tanyhow. And\tif\tyou're\ttrying\tto\tshow\toff\tfor\tpeople\tat\tthe\tbottom,\tforget\tit.\tThey\twill only\tenvy\tyou.\tStatus\twill\tget\tyou\tnowhere.\tOnly\tan\topen\theart\twill\tallow\tyou to\tfloat\tequally\tbetween\teveryone.\\\" He\tpaused,\tthen\tlooked\tat\tme.\t\\\"I'm\tdying,\tright?\\\"\tYes.","\\\"Why\tdo\tyou\tthink\tit's\tso\timportant\tfor\tme\tto\thear\tother\tpeople's\tproblems? Don't\tI\thave\tenough\tpain\tand\tsuffering\tof\tmy\town? \\\"Of\tcourse\tI\tdo.\tBut\tgiving\tto\tother\tpeople\tis\twhat\tmakes\tme\tfeel\talive.\tNot\tmy car\tor\tmy\thouse.\tNot\twhat\tI\tlook\tlike\tin\tthe\tmirror.\tWhen\tI\tgive\tmy\ttime,\twhen\tI can\tmake\tsomeone\tsmile\tafter\tthey\twere\tfeeling\tsad,\tit's\tas\tclose\tto\thealthy\tas\tI ever\tfeel. \\\"Do\tthe\tkinds\tof\tthings\tthat\tcome\tfrom\tthe\theart.\tWhen\tyou\tdo,\tyou\twon't\tbe dissatisfied,\tyou\twon't\tbe\tenvious,\tyou\twon't\tbe\tlonging\tfor\tsomebody\telse's things.\tOn\tthe\tcontrary,\tyou'll\tbe\toverwhelmed\twith\twhat\tcomes\tback.\\\" He\tcoughed\tand\treached\tfor\tthe\tsmall\tbell\tthat\tlay\ton\tthe\tchair.\tHe\thad\tto\tpoke\ta few\ttimes\tat\tit,\tand\tI\tfinally\tpicked\tit\tup\tand\tput\tit\tin\this\thand. \\\"Thank\tyou,\\\"\the\twhispered.\tHe\tshook\tit\tweakly,\ttrying\tto\tget\tConnie's\tattention. \\\"This\tTed\tTurner\tguy,\\\"\tMorrie\tsaid,\t\\\"he\tcouldn't\tthink\tof\tanything\telse\tfor\this tombstone?\\\" 'Each\tnight,\twhen\tI\tgo\tto\tsleep,\tI\tdie.\tAnd\tthe\tnext\tmorning,\twhen\tI\twake\tup,\tI am\treborn.\t\\\" --MAHATMA\tGANDHI The\tNinth\tTuesday\tWe\tTalk\tAbout\tHow\tLove\tGoes\tOn The\tleaves\thad\tbegun\tto\tchange\tcolor,\tturning\tthe\tride\tthrough\tWest\tNewton into\ta\tportrait\tof\tgold\tand\trust.\tBack\tin\tDetroit,\tthe\tlabor\twar\thad\tstagnated,\twith each\tside\taccusing\tthe\tother\tof\tfailing\tto\tcommunicate.\tThe\tstories\ton\tthe\tTV news\twere\tjust\tas\tdepressing.\tIn\trural\tKentucky,\tthree\tmen\tthrew\tpieces\tof\ta","tombstone\toff\ta\tbridge,\tsmashing\tthe\twindshield\tof\ta\tpassing\tcar,\tkilling\ta teenage\tgirl\twho\twas\ttraveling\twith\ther\tfamily\ton\ta\treligious\tpilgrimage.\tIn California,\tthe\tO.\tJ.\tSimpson\ttrial\twas\theading\ttoward\ta\tconclusion,\tand\tthe whole\tcountry\tseemed\tto\tbe\tobsessed.\tEven\tin\tairports,\tthere\twere\thanging\tTV sets\ttuned\tto\tCNN\tso\tthat\tyou\tcould\tget\tan\tO.J.\tupdate\tas\tyou\tmade\tyour\tway\tto a\tgate. I\thad\ttried\tcalling\tmy\tbrother\tin\tSpain\tseveral\ttimes.\tI\tleft\tmessages\tsaying\tthat\tI really\twanted\tto\ttalk\tto\thim,\tthat\tI\thad\tbeen\tdoing\ta\tlot\tof\tthinking\tabout\tus.\tA few\tweeks\tlater,\tI\tgot\tback\ta\tshort\tmessage\tsaying\teverything\twas\tokay,\tbut\the was\tsorry,\the\treally\tdidn't\tfeel\tlike\ttalking\tabout\tbeing\tsick. For\tmy\told\tprofessor,\tit\twas\tnot\tthe\ttalk\tof\tbeing\tsick\tbut\tthe\tbeing\tsick\titself that\twas\tsinking\thim.\tSince\tmy\tlast\tvisit,\ta\tnurse\thad\tinserted\ta\tcatheter\tinto\this penis,\twhich\tdrew\tthe\turine\tout\tthrough\ta\ttube\tand\tinto\ta\tbag\tthat\tsat\tat\tthe\tfoot of\this\tchair.\tHis\tlegs\tneeded\tconstant\ttending\t(he\tcould\tstill\tfeel\tpain,\teven though\the\tcould\tnot\tmove\tthem,\tanother\tone\tof\tALS's\tcruel\tlittle\tironies),\tand unless\this\tfeet\tdangled\tjust\tthe\tright\tnumber\tof\tinches\toff\tthe\tfoam\tpads,\tit\tfelt as\tif\tsomeone\twere\tpoking\thim\twith\ta\tfork.\tIn\tthe\tmiddle\tof\tconversations, Morrie\twould\thave\tto\task\tvisitors\tto\tlift\this\tfoot\tand\tmove\tit\tjust\tan\tinch,\tor\tto adjust\this\thead\tso\tthat\tit\tfit\tmore\teasily\tinto\tthe\tpalm\tof\tthe\tcolored\tpillows.\tCan you\timagine\tbeing\tunable\tto\tmove\tyour\town\thead? With\teach\tvisit,\tMorrie\tseemed\tto\tbe\tmelting\tinto\this\tchair,\this\tspine\ttaking\ton its\tshape.\tStill,\tevery\tmorning\the\tinsisted\ton\tbeing\tlifted\tfrom\this\tbed\tand wheeled\tto\this\tstudy,\tdeposited\tthere\tamong\this\tbooks\tand\tpapers\tand\tthe hibiscus\tplant\ton\tthe\twindowsill.\tIn\ttypical\tfashion,\the\tfound\tsomething philosophical\tin\tthis. \\\"I\tsum\tit\tup\tin\tmy\tnewest\taphorism,\\\"\the\tsaid.\tLet\tme\thear\tit. \\\"When\tyou're\tin\tbed,\tyou're\tdead.\\\" He\tsmiled.\tOnly\tMorrie\tcould\tsmile\tat\tsomething\tlike\tthat.","He\thad\tbeen\tgetting\tcalls\tfrom\tthe\t\\\"Nightline\\\"\tpeople\tand\tfrom\tTed\tKoppel himself. \\\"They\twant\tto\tcome\tand\tdo\tanother\tshow\twith\tme,\\\"\the\tsaid.\t\\\"But\tthey\tsay\tthey want\tto\twait.\\\" Until\twhat?\tYou're\ton\tyour\tlast\tbreath?\t\\\"Maybe.\tAnyhow,\tI'm\tnot\tso\tfar\taway.\\\" Don't\tsay\tthat. \\\"I'm\tsorry.\\\" That\tbugs\tme,\tthat\tthey\twant\tto\twait\tuntil\tyou\twither. \\\"It\tbugs\tyou\tbecause\tyou\tlook\tout\tfor\tme.\\\" He\tsmiled.\t\\\"Mitch,\tmaybe\tthey\tare\tusing\tme\tfor\ta\tlittle\tdrama.\tThat's\tokay. Maybe\tI'm\tusing\tthem,\ttoo.\tThey\thelp\tme\tget\tmy\tmessage\tto\tmillions\tof\tpeople. I\tcouldn't\tdo\tthat\twithout\tthem,\tright?\tSo\tit's\ta\tcompromise.\\\" He\tcoughed,\twhich\tturned\tinto\ta\tlong-drawn-out\tgargle,\tending\twith\tanother glob\tinto\ta\tcrushed\ttissue.\t\\\"Anyhow,\\\"\tMorrie\tsaid,\t\\\"I\ttold\tthem\tthey\tbetter\tnot wait\ttoo\tlong,\tbecause\tmy\tvoice\twon't\tbe\tthere.\tOnce\tthis\tthing\thits\tmy\tlungs, talking\tmay\tbecome\timpossible.\tI\tcan't\tspeak\tfor\ttoo\tlong\twithout\tneeding\ta\trest now.\tI\thave\talready\tcanceled\ta\tlot\tof\tthe\tpeople\twho\twant\tto\tsee\tme.\tMitch, there\tare\tso\tmany.\tBut\tI'm\ttoo\tfatigued.\tIf\tI\tcan't\tgive\tthem\tthe\tright\tattention,\tI can't\thelp\tthem.\\\"\tI\tlooked\tat\tthe\ttape\trecorder,\tfeeling\tguilty,\tas\tif\tI\twere\tstealing what\twas\tleft\tof\this\tprecious\tspeaking\ttime.\t\\\"Should\twe\tskip\tit?\\\"\tI\tasked.\t\\\"Will it\tmake\tyou\ttoo\ttired?\\\" Morrie\tshut\this\teyes\tand\tshook\this\thead.\tHe\tseemed\tto\tbe\twaiting\tfor\tsome silent\tpain\tto\tpass.\t\\\"No,\\\"\the\tfinally\tsaid.\t\\\"You\tand\tI\thave\tto\tgo\ton. \\\"This\tis\tour\tlast\tthesis\ttogether,\tyou\tknow.\\\"\tOur\tlast\tthesis.","\\\"We\twant\tto\tget\tit\tright.\\\" I\tthought\tabout\tour\tfirst\tthesis\ttogether,\tin\tcollege.\tIt\twas\tMorrie's\tidea,\tof course.\tHe\ttold\tme\tI\twas\tgood\tenough\tto\twrite\tan\thonors\tproject-something\tI had\tnever\tconsidered. Now\there\twe\twere,\tdoing\tthe\tsame\tthing\tonce\tmore.\tStarting\twith\tan\tidea. Dying\tman\ttalks\tto\tliving\tman,\ttells\thim\twhat\the\tshould\tknow.\tThis\ttime,\tI\twas in\tless\tof\ta\thurry\tto\tfinish. \\\"Someone\tasked\tme\tan\tinteresting\tquestion\tyesterday,\\\"\tMorrie\tsaid\tnow,\tlooking over\tmy\tshoulder\tat\tthe\twallhanging\tbehind\tme,\ta\tquilt\tof\thopeful\tmessages\tthat friends\thad\tstitched\tfor\thim\ton\this\tseventieth\tbirthday.\tEach\tpatch\ton\tthe\tquilt had\ta\tdifferent\tmessage:\tSTAY\tTHE\tCOURSE,\tTHE\tBEST\tIS\tYET\tTO\tBE, MORRIE-ALWAYS\tNO.\t1\tIN\tMENTAL\tHEALTH! What\twas\tthe\tquestion?\tI\tasked. \\\"If\tI\tworried\tabout\tbeing\tforgotten\tafter\tI\tdied?\\\"\tWell?\tDo\tyou? \\\"I\tdon't\tthink\tI\twill\tbe.\tI've\tgot\tso\tmany\tpeople\twho\thave\tbeen\tinvolved\twith\tme in\tclose,\tintimate\tways.\tAnd\tlove\tis\thow\tyou\tstay\talive,\teven\tafter\tyou\tare gone.\\\" Sounds\tlike\ta\tsong\tlyric-\\\"love\tis\thow\tyou\tstay\talive.\\\" Morrie\tchuckled.\t\\\"Maybe.\tBut,\tMitch,\tall\tthis\ttalk\tthat\twe're\tdoing?\tDo\tyou\tever hear\tmy\tvoice\tsometimes\twhen\tyou're\tback\thome?\tWhen\tyou're\tall\talone? Maybe\ton\tthe\tplane?\tMaybe\tin\tyour\tcar?\\\" Yes,\tI\tadmitted. \\\"Then\tyou\twill\tnot\tforget\tme\tafter\tI'm\tgone.\tThink\tof\tmy\tvoice\tand\tI'll\tbe\tthere.\\\""]
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