LifeTips Series 01 - 7 Factors Of UNsuccess

LifeTips Handbook Series #1 7 FACTORS of And How To Use Them To SucceedThe Answers To The Ultimate QuestionWhy Is It That Of PeopleAre Unsuccessful?by Remegio “Rey” Mellomida

7 Factors Of UNsuccess And How To Use Them To Succeed7 FACTORS ofunby Remegio “Rey” Mellomida 1www.fb.com/RemegioMellomida

“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.” ― Mark TwainFor me it was the day I was born, and the day I realized WHY Ihad to share these LifeTips and concepts…To give You the LIFETOOLS you need to THRIVE at life, notjust to survive!



7 Factors Of UNsuccess7 FactorsAOndf HUoNwsTuocUcseesTsh-emAnTdoHSouwcceTeodUse ThemTo Succeed (LifeTips Handbook Paperback Version)Remegio “Rey” Mellomida, El Dorado Hills CAcopyright © 2014, 2015, 2018 Remegio “Rey” Mellomida2nd EditionAll rights reserved. No part of this publication may bereproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in anyform or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying,recording, or otherwise, without the prior written permission orauthorization of the publisher.ISBN: 111-0-11111-000-1Published by Remegio “Rey” Mellomida, Mellomida Publishing,El Dorado Hills, CADesign and Layout by Remegio “Rey” MellomidaPrinted in the United States of Americaby Remegio “Rey” Mellomida 3www.fb.com/RemegioMellomida

7 Factors Of UNsuccess And How To Use Them To Succeedby Remegio “Rey” Mellomida 4www.fb.com/RemegioMellomida

7 Factors Of UNsuccess And How To Use Them To SucceedTable of Contents PageAcknowledgment 7Dedication 7My Purpose 9My Story 10My Law of Life 15NOTES to Readers 16My Big Question 17How I Discovered The \"7 Factors\" 19The FOUNDATION of LIFE 22The First 3 Factors 25The Next 3 Factors 28The 7th Factor 32The Damage Is Done! 36The Damage Is A Slow Process 39The Damage Can Be UNDONE! 41Believe And Have FAITH In YOUrself! 42HOW TO UNLEARN, GROW AND SUCCEED 44 - 81Developing The Right Mindset 45How To Use The 7 Factors of UNsuccess To Succeed 77Final Message... 82LifeTips Handbooks Series List 83 back coverAbout The Author: Remegio \"Rey\" Mellomidaby Remegio “Rey” Mellomida 5www.fb.com/RemegioMellomida

7 Factors Of UNsuccess And How To Use Them To Succeedby Remegio “Rey” Mellomida 6www.fb.com/RemegioMellomida

7 Factors Of UNsuccess And How To Use Them To SucceedAcknowledgmentTo my son and daughters, Nick, Shawna and ShaRey. Thankyou for your unconditional LOVE. You are my inspiration forthese LifeTips. You’ve helped to motivate me to keep learningand growing. You inspire me to be more, to do more and tohave more so I can give more, to you, to the community andhumanity. Thank You!DedicationI dedicate these LifeTips to all the children of the world. Thosewho struggle to connect with their true self. And those who donot have a mentor or guardian, especially ones that do not havea loving support at home, or worse, in an abusive environment.These LifeTips are for all ages. But more so for the youngergeneration who will someday soon become the future of ournations, the inheritance of the world we leave behind. Some dayin their future I hope they find their place in society to make adifference. To contribute and make this world a much betterplace for all to enjoy, to live healthy and happily.I also dedicate these LifeTips to the Parents and parents to be.They are about to mold the lives of the children in their care.They will play a huge role in determining the future of allchildren, which will ultimately determine the future of humanity.Lastly, I dedicate these to all the Educators and adults withtitles of authority. You have power and influence over our youngminds. You too can make a difference to the future of ourspecies.by Remegio “Rey” Mellomida 7www.fb.com/RemegioMellomida

7 Factors Of UNsuccess And How To Use Them To Succeedby Remegio “Rey” Mellomida 8www.fb.com/RemegioMellomida

7 Factors Of UNsuccess And How To Use Them To SucceedMy PurposeWith these LifeTools and LifeTips, my goal and purpose in life isto educate, motivate, inspire and empower others. I want tomentor and help people grow into the full potential every humanbeing has the capacity to become.I would like to introduce these LifeTips to the high schools andmiddle schools. I want to capture the children's minds beforethey drift to aimlessness. I would also like to take these to theJuvenile Halls and Detention Centers, where I can help redirectchildren's minds and focus to a more positive outlook at life.Eventually, I look forward to ultimately introducing theseLifeTips to people around the world.To make a dramatic change and a bigger impact, I feel we mustfirst begin with the grown ups, You and I! We need to set theexample for our children. We can do this by being who we wantthem to be.First, Stop demanding of our children what we are not!We have to begin within ourselves! When we are at our best,then and only then can we expect the most and the best of ourchildren. Let us treat each other with the utmost respect. Bepositive, optimistic, helpful, kind, loving and caring. Be good toone another, especially to our children. This will be a great andhealthy start at home, in our community, in our country and forhumanity.by Remegio “Rey” Mellomida 9www.fb.com/RemegioMellomida

7 Factors Of UNsuccess And How To Use Them To SucceedMy StoryI grew up in the Philippines, a third world country. I know whatit's like to not have, to actually live in poverty.I have experienced hard work since I was very young. I can stillremember having to go up the mountains to harvest for ourmeal that day, and for the next few days. In our little plantationI would help dig for potatoes, pick bananas, harvest pineapples,climb coconut trees and other fruit trees. We had a vegetablegarden and we lived off our land. We had chickens, pigs, lambs,goats and I probably ate other animals I cannot think of ormention here.We eventually moved to the city of Tacloban for a bettereducation and opportunity. Poverty was and still a reality for themajority of Filipinos. I remember my siblings and I having towalk for what seems like miles to and from school in oursandals. And I remember walking a few blocks to manuallypump water into two pales, then carry them back home withoutspilling a lot of water.I had one pair of sandals for school and the rest of the time Iran around in my bare feet. Everywhere was unsanitary. Westayed with our aunt and her family in Tacloban. Their housewas raised high just like most homes. Below us were pollutedwater. The same water we walked barefoot in, fished in anddumped garbage in. The same water the community used asbathrooms.Looking back I don't know how children survived that kind of anenvironment. People still live that way today. Some live in aneven worse conditions.by Remegio “Rey” Mellomida 10www.fb.com/RemegioMellomida

7 Factors Of UNsuccess And How To Use Them To SucceedStill, I am truly grateful for experiencing poverty. It givesme immense appreciation for what I have, no matter howmuch or how little I may have at any given moment.When I first came to America I was eleven years old. It was aculture shock and a challenge. December at San FranciscoAirport was cold and I barely spoke English. In Junior High I hadto take ESL, English as a Second Language. Since then Icontinue to learn English.It took me years and almost my entire life to discover what I amabout to share with you. And I've come a very long way towhere I am today. Being born and raised into the Filipinoculture, I was not allowed to express myself. It is a dictatorshipculture and a totalitarian country. The same goes for the waywe parent our young. I was not allowed to think, only to obey.Somewhat similar when I was in the military. In the Navy andeven at UPS, I remember being told \"NO! You are not paid tothink, you are paid to do as you are told!\"It is difficult to have confidence and belief in yourself,when no one allows you to be yourself.Growing up I was very shy, timid, passive and hadvery little confidence. I was literally scared to talk topeople. I can recall my neighbors across the streetplaying outside. They would see me peek throughthe window curtains and would knock on my door. Iwould open the front door to a crack, just enough tosee them. Every time they asked if I wanted toplay, I would say no. That's how scared I was. Young ReyWhen they asked why I couldn't play, I told them I Timid & Shydidn't know! But actually, I was afraid. I had no self-esteem orself confidence. I felt lost having no self identity, no sense offocus or a true direction of life. I was confused.by Remegio “Rey” Mellomida 11www.fb.com/RemegioMellomida

7 Factors Of UNsuccess And How To Use Them To SucceedI had all this energy within but I felt I could not do anythingabout it. I was not allowed to express and experience life. \"Iwas like a race horse being pulled back every time Iwanted to run.\" It's probably the reason why I joined the Navyright out of high school. I wanted to travel the world to go outand experience Life.I always had this battle inside of me. And I did not understand itthen. Every time I wanted to do something, the voices in myhead would talk me out of it. They would say things like \"Youcan't do that!\" \"You shouldn't do that!\" \"What will your parentssay?\", \"What will people think?\", \"That's not how you shouldbehave!\", \"You're going to get into trouble!\", \"Will you go toheaven or hell for this?\" and so on. What a mindset, and what amess!It seems everything I did growing up was never about me or forme. It was always for my parents. It was also for other peopleand/or for religion. Every Sunday I was forced to get up early toattend Sunday school and church; for my parents, my relatives,church members, everyone else, and of course for God. I wastold I would go to heaven and meet him some day, as long as Iwas good, obeyed and went to church. As a child I had nochoice but to do what I was told. How about you, did you have achoice? At a young age I could not tell my parents I did notwant to go to church. There were days when I didn't feel likegoing. I tried to tell them and I got smacked for it.Being good in school and getting good grades; for Flying Rey - Justmy parents. Doing well and being MVP in JuniorHigh sports; for my parents, even though they learning KaJuKenBonever saw me play. I was even great at Martial Martial ArtsArts; always trying to impress them. But theynever saw the true me and all my talents. Therewas no one at home to encourage me, but me.by Remegio “Rey” Mellomida 12www.fb.com/RemegioMellomida

7 Factors Of UNsuccess And How To Use Them To SucceedBeing well behaved around other people; for my parents andpeople around us. Being obedient and subservient; for myparents, my culture and for religion. I did all these for them.This is how I was raised. It's all I knew and so that's what I did.Despite the hard work and hard times, I love my parents. Theyhave done so much for me and my siblings. And I've learned agreat deal from them. To obey and to do as I was told was theleast I could do for all their sacrifices.When I came to the States I was already used to hard work,and I was very obedient. Since eleven years old, I had to get upvery early in the morning before school. At 4:00 a.m. I helpedmy parents clean five movie theaters, a drive-in theater and atwo-story office building. By the time I got to school I wasalready exhausted and often times sleepy. I even did this onweekends and holidays. Holidays were even busier so therewere more garbage to clean up. There were no days off.I remember one morning, my 9th grade first period Englishteacher, Mrs. Radesky became very concerned about me. Shewas and I'm certain she is still a wonderful lady. I sat in themiddle of the front row in her classroom. I was an eager studentalways ready to learn. And I also thought if I sat up front facingher it would help me stay awake during class. It did, butsometimes it didn't keep me from dozing off. One day sherequested a parent-teacher meeting so she could bring herconcerns to my parents. She thought I was on drugs orsomething. When she met my parents and discovered I had tohelp clean theaters early in the morning, she felt so sad for me.And when she found out my father's story, about having to workfive jobs just so he could support and send for his entire familyfrom the Philippines, she felt really bad for us. But she was alsoinspired by our hard work and dedication to the family. And soshe really helped me to learn English, and to stay awake inclass.by Remegio “Rey” Mellomida 13www.fb.com/RemegioMellomida

7 Factors Of UNsuccess And How To Use Them To SucceedBut I can still remember how bad I thought my life was then. InHigh School I contemplated suicide. Looking back, I know if Ihave had the tools in hand I wouldn't be here now. For megrowing up was not fun. It was very hard work and I just feltmiserable most of the time. I never showed it or expressed it sonobody ever knew. Thank goodness the voices in my headtalked me out of it. How ironic. The same voices that kept meboxed within myself saved my life, more than twice.However, through the years of self discovery and selfawareness, I have been able to reconnect with my inner youth.I have regained my true self, the toddler spirit and the youngheart within me. Once again I am on fire, fearless, persistent,committed, focused, happy, energetic and excited. All thegreatness within me are alive, like before the conditioning thataltered my young mind and spirit. I am totally aware of thebeauty, talent and power within myself. Nothing and no one canstop me now.I am a great man and an extraordinary human being, andso are you. Not because I say so, but because I AM SO,WE ARE SO. Every single one of Us!As you keep reading you will soon discover this for yourself.by Remegio “Rey” Mellomida 14www.fb.com/RemegioMellomida

7 Factors Of UNsuccess And How To Use Them To SucceedMy Law of LifeLet me begin by introducing you to my first and my favoriteconcept. I now live by one law, the Law of Humanity or the Lawof the Universe. This is what I call my \"Law of Life.\"\"I can do whatever I want, as long as I don't harmAnything or Anyone, especially Myself! And whenever Ican, I will HELP those in NEED because it is the HUMANthing to do!\"\"Anything\" is everything around us. This includes every animaland living creatures, plants, flowers, rocks, buildings, papersand all things on earth. Total RESPECT for all of Nature!\"Anyone\" is everyone! RESPECT every human being on earth!Most of all, have the ultimate RESPECT for oneself, Myself,Yourself - Ourselves! Everything starts with you.For me this one simple law has complete and utmost RESPECTfor ALL LIFE forms, and everything on EARTH. The second partto the Law of Life is to HELP others, including our environment.Imagine what the world would be like if people start to behavein this manner. What would you see? What can you visualize?How would the world look to you?This will be very important through your journey of selfdiscovery and self awareness. The “Law of Life” will ensurethat what you do each day, from this point on, does notintentionally or inadvertently interfere with or harmothers, even you and your surroundings.Start today and start NOW! Live by the “Law of Life!”by Remegio “Rey” Mellomida 15www.fb.com/RemegioMellomida

7 FactoNrosteOs tfo RUeNadseruccessNote 1: TheAanndswHeorws tTooLUifeseawThaeitms aTtoyoSuurccdeoeodr step. It waitspatiently for you to open your mind to it. Until then it cannotwalk into your life. I did not say accept, I merely say OPEN thedoor to your mind. To get the most out of life from here on, is tokeep your mind open so you may receive the wisdom of theUniverse.Note 2: Self Development isn't something you turn on andexpect your world to change overnight. It is a life-long journeyand a way of life. And keep in mind not everyone will develop atthe same rate. Some will succeed quicker than others, so besure not to compare yourself to anyone. Focus only on you, andas long as you maintain your course you too will have your shareof success, in due time.Note 3: Education is extremely important! But what is evenmore important are \"The Things\" you are learning. Do you everask yourself \"Am I learning?\" and \"Do the things I learn makeme a better person?\" You should always ask these.A lot of people probably know more about celebrities, fashions,trends, social media, sports, athletes, movies, video games,soap operas, TV shows or other stuff, rather than havingawareness of \"Self\" and their own human potential. \"If what you are learning is not making you better, then it is distracting you from becoming greater!\"Physically your body may be growing, but within, if you are notdeveloping then what are you becoming?Plant an apple seed in a pot. If the plant remains in the pot, itsroots will never grow beyond the size of the container. And it willremain a small plant, never becoming a full grown apple tree!Just as its roots will determine the size of the tree, your brain,your \"mindset\" will determine the size of your success!Take this journey with me and let us expand our minds together.by Remegio “Rey” Mellomida 16www.fb.com/RemegioMellomida

7 Factors Of UNsuccess And How To Use Them To SucceedMy Big QuestionHow and why did I come up with this title and these \"7 Factorsof UNsuccess?\" In the early 1900s, Napoleon Hill studiedthousands of Americans. Among them were hundreds of thewealthiest men and women in the United States. In 1928 hepublished his findings in his book \"The Law of Success.\" Hefound that 95% of people were UNsuccessful. UNsuccessbased on the individual's definition, not being where theywanted to be in life.Over the years I attended many seminars. I would hear peoplesay this same thing during their presentation. Finally in 2010 ata convention in Detroit, Michigan. The speaker asked thequestion \"Why is it that most people are UNsuccessful?\"After an hour and a half of his talk I was left still wondering. Henever answered the question. Are we supposed to figure it outfor ourselves? And so this became my big question!At home, at work, in business or at anything in life. When thingsare not going the way it is supposed to be, what do we do first?We always ask WHY? We want to know why things are not aswe expect them to be. So I asked \"Why are weunsuccessful?\" What are the reasons why we are not wherewe want to be in life? And I mean the root cause of it all.I've searched. I haven't seen any publication or articles toanswer this big question. There are many books, blogs andwebsites focusing on \"How to be Successful.\" But there's nowritings on the causes of UNsuccess. Not even on Mr. Hills \"Lawof Success.\" Why is this important? I believe, if we do notdiscover the root cause, we can never truly combat theproblem. When someone has a headache we give them anaspirin. We never address the root cause of the headache,therefore the headache returns.by Remegio “Rey” Mellomida 17www.fb.com/RemegioMellomida

7 Factors Of UNsuccess And How To Use Them To SucceedSo on my drive back to California from Detroit, I kept thinkingabout it more and more. I could not get it out of my head. A fewdays after I arrived home I sat down and really concentrated onit. The following weekend, for two days straight I sat in theliving room couch writing. I was inspired by that question.Words, images, ideas and concepts began to flow out of myhead. I could not stop writing. As a matter of fact I could notwrite fast enough. I ended up writing about 75% of theseLifeTips Series in those two days.Since then I've been working hard to solving this question. Mostimportantly, I wanted to develop ideas and concepts to escapethis thing called UNsuccess.This is the first of a series of LifeTips. These \"7 Factors OfUNsuccess\" answers the ultimate question \"Why is it that 95%of people are unsuccessful?\" But more than that, you can usethese \"7 Factors\" along with other LifeTips to help you tosucceed. My hope is for you to apply these concepts. To helpyou get to where you want or need to be, no matter where youwish to be from where you are presently.by Remegio “Rey” Mellomida 18www.fb.com/RemegioMellomida

7 Factors Of UNsuccess And How To Use Them To SucceedHow I Discovered The \"7 Factors\"Looking back at my experiences in the Navy and UPS, I realizedone common factor that helped me to become an excellenttechnician. Before I start working on a project, I always ask onequestion. \"What is the normal process when the system isworking properly?\" This is where I start my troubleshooting.By knowing and understanding the \"normal\" I can pinpoint the\"failure\", exactly where in the system when it happens. Then Ican resolve the issue and restore the unit to full functionality.As an Electrician for the Navy I was dedicated to my job, to themilitary and to my country. I had an attitude of \"I can fixanything\" and I did! By asking one simple question \"What is thenormal process when the system is working properly?\" I wasable to fix every machinery or equipment that broke. Onboardmy first ship, while at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. There was a 70-ton boom clamp that had been out of service for many years.Within three weeks I was able to restore it to normal operation.The top military leaders and crew members were very excited. Ihad the honor of operating the equipment for the first time. Noone had ever seen this clamp secure the 70-ton crane in anupright position in over four years, not even the Captain.Another time was in Guam during my two weeks Navy Reserve.As usual I volunteered to take on another challenge. Althoughmany technicians tried, a small boat the Navy SEALs used wasnot at its full functionality. For over a year it only had fiftypercent capacity. They had no control over one of the twoengines, which reduced mission capability. Within three days Iwas able to troubleshoot and repair the problem. Once again Irestored a system to full operation.The Commanding Officer and crew were very happy, especiallythe Dive Master in charge of the SEAL Team. So ecstatic andgrateful he invited me to his house. I had a home-cooked mealby Remegio “Rey” Mellomida 19www.fb.com/RemegioMellomida

7 Factors Of UNsuccess And How To Use Them To Succeedwith his team and his family. It was his way of showinggratitude for what I had done for him and his SEAL Unit. It wasalso a great way to celebrate after an extensive maneuveringtrials of the boat in the Pacific Ocean. I had a blast being withthe Navy SEALs during their practice run. These and manyaccomplishments saved the navy thousands of dollars. Itawarded me many commendations, including Sailor of theQuarter and Sailor of the Year. It also earned me high respectsand a great reputation with my shipmates.While in the Navy Reserve I worked for United Parcel Service(UPS). I had the same success there as a computer technician. Iwas able to resolve just about any issues computer users had.My team supported a hub and the outlying centers in the EastBay District. My ability to troubleshoot and repair made me TechII very quickly. It even earned me a promotion to Specialist andeventually as an IT Supervisor for the entire district.Using my years of Navy and UPS troubleshooting skills, I begana journey of discovery into the human causes of UNsuccess.With the same tactic and strategy, I asked myself the samequestion for our human system.What is the normal growth process of a human being?And where and when did it begin to break down?Understanding the \"normal\" human growth process allowed meto see clearly where the \"failures\" happen in the human system.Then I was able to find ways to help repair the damages.Concepts that can help you redirect your life-path to where youwant to be, and where you can be in life.These LifeTips to follow are based on my observations and mylife experiences, from my childhood to my travels around theworld. And from my encounters with people from all walks oflife, with different cultures, religions and belief systems.by Remegio “Rey” Mellomida 20www.fb.com/RemegioMellomida

7 Factors Of UNsuccess And How To Use Them To SucceedI believe my LifeTips can help adults, especially the parents andparents to be. To help them become better mothers and fathers.To be better role models and great examples to the children.Not only that, but I believe these handbooks can also help theyoung adults. These LifeTips can teach them how to becomebetter human beings. To be better members of society. Tocontribute to the betterment of humanity.I also believe these concepts will stay consistent throughouttime, and with any cultures.by Remegio “Rey” Mellomida 21www.fb.com/RemegioMellomida

7 Factors Of UNsuccess And How To Use Them To SucceedThe FOUNDATION of LIFESo let's start at the very beginning. An infant isat the purest state any human will ever be in.Babies wait patiently for their life to begin. Buttheir future will be in the hands of their parentsand/or guardians. A \"blank canvas\" is theirbeginning stage of life, in all lives. Theirfoundation will be designed and started, but notby them as they do not know how to yet. Initiallytheir blank canvas will be painted by the brush A baby is astrokes of life of their parents. By the time they \"Blank Canvas\"begin to paint life onto their own canvas, it will already havebeen established. They will have to choose. Do they continuewith what has been painted by their parents, or start fresh withtheir own style of life painting? I believe most, if not all, willaccept what is already on their canvas. Most young people won'teven recognize this let alone know how to start fresh. So theycontinue on with what has already been started.Since birth, helpless beings with empty minds are dependent onthe grown-ups. Children trust and rely on their parents andother adults to create their FOUNDATION, their BeliefSystem. It will impact their every decisions into adulthood, andinto their future. It is our responsibility as adults to make surethey have a good start and a fair chance at life.Just like buildings and houses at the start of construction,babies also need to start with a solid foundation. Somethingstrong to withstand life's forces. Strong enough to build on andwill not crumble, even when it becomes challenging with thestorms of life. This is the most critical developmental stage forall children. It is their Foundation of Life! The core belief ofevery children. It has to be stable and sound, a system they canrely on and build upon.by Remegio “Rey” Mellomida 22www.fb.com/RemegioMellomida

7 Factors Of UNsuccess And How To Use Them To SucceedChildren's Foundation will be based on a few criticalfactors. Their belief system will be formed by the culture,ideals and/or religion they are born and raised into.Being born and raised in the Philippines I was Catholic bydefault. Then at eleven years of age living with relatives inCalifornia, I was converted to First Baptist, again not by mychoosing. What about you, when you were a child, did you tellyour parents what religion you wanted to practice? Childrenhave no choice in this and other important matters at a veryyoung age. We are all born into our family and inherit theirideals, beliefs and religion, or non-religion in some cases.I have traveled around the world and I've met people from allwalks of life. They are who they are because of where they live,and the culture and people that raised them.For example. Take a white male infant from anywhere in theworld. Have a communist family raise him in Russia; hebecomes a communist and will learn to speak Russian. Take thesame child and raise him in the Middle East. He will probablyworship Allah, and live by the Islamic ways and culture, andspeak their local language. Raise that same child in India and hewill most likely become a Hindu believer and worshiper, andlearn to speak Hindi. If he grows up in China his belief systemwill most likely be Confucianism, Taoism or Buddhism. And histongue will learn to speak Mandarin or Cantonese. If he is raiseda Christian in the United States he becomes one, or what everhis parents happen to practice. And if you take that same infantchild and raise him in the deep south of America with the KluKlux Klan (KKK), then he will be a strong believer in whitesupremacy.by Remegio “Rey” Mellomida 23www.fb.com/RemegioMellomida

7 Factors Of UNsuccess And How To Use Them To SucceedYou see, Children will become what ever the environment and people that mold them. They will not have a choice until they become of age of independent, if they can.by Remegio “Rey” Mellomida 24www.fb.com/RemegioMellomida

7 Factors Of UNsuccess And How To Use Them To SucceedThe First 3 FactorsAs babies begin to develop their senses, they grow curious.Even before they crawl, children will begin to put anything andeverything in their mouths. So the first word they will hear fromus is NO! I believe this is the number one word most often usedby parents.Babies then learn to crawl and begins to walk. Once they do,they really get into everything, and everywhere. As parents weare quick to their rescue and their safety, so another commonword they will hear often from us is DON'T! Don't go there,don't do that and don't go anywhere! I think this is the secondmost popular word used by adults when parenting.But Toddlers are defiant, so they still go and they still do. Wethen introduce the third factor, CAN'T! We tell them \"You can'tclimb!\" \"You can't stick your finger there!\" \"You can't do this andyou can't do that!\" \"You can't go there!\" \"You can't, you can't,you can't... and this goes on. I believe it is used less often at ayounger age, but it becomes more frequent as they get older.NO, DON'T and CAN'T are the first three words children will hearrepeatedly. These are the first three factors of UNsuccess.Having been a parent of two children, I was guilty of sayingthese words frequently and unnecessarily. My apologies toShawna and Nick for doing so. Observe and pay attention toparents. You too will recognize these words being usedperpetually. I was at Safeway grocery store waiting to checkout. Behind me was a mother with her toddler son. In the fiveminutes as I waited to pay for my groceries, I heard her say NOsix times, Don’t twice and Can’t once.In the beginning these are safety words. They are instinctivereactions to protect a child. A child who always seem to end upin danger to himself or herself.by Remegio “Rey” Mellomida 25www.fb.com/RemegioMellomida

7 Factors Of UNsuccess And How To Use Them To SucceedThe moment you take your eyes away from them, they are goneto somewhere and something else. Nothing can stop them noteven danger. We have to constantly monitor their every move.As toddlers go through their adventurous behavior, parents arealways on the look out for danger. Every time they get close towhat looks like trouble, we tell them NO! DON'T! Or CAN'T!The frequency and the many years we say NO, DON'T andCAN'T to our children, turns into habits for both childrenand parents.How do we form habits? Through repetition! I've heard peoplesay it takes 21 days. Others say it takes up to 66 days to createa habit. Either way, it's nothing in comparison to how often andhow long we say No, Don't and Can't to our children. Werepeatedly say these words beyond the number of days it takesto form habits. Not just in days, we are talking in many years,even into their adulthood.Before long, it becomes so easy to say these three words. Wesay them to just about anything and everything. When we areuncomfortable to what they are about to do or say, we tell themNo, Don't or Can't.It is so quick and automatic to tell kids \"NO\" when they ask forsomething. It is so simple to say to children \"DON'T touch that\"when they are about to touch an object. And it is so easy to tellthem \"you CAN'T do that\" when you don’t want them to, orwhen you think they are incapable of doing something, and soon.The sad thing is, we hear these three words from all around us,even from people close to us. Besides our parents we hear themfrom other family members, friends, teachers and otherauthority figures. We even hear them from strangers, and ofby Remegio “Rey” Mellomida 26www.fb.com/RemegioMellomida

7 Factors Of UNsuccess And How To Use Them To Succeedcourse we hear them from society and government as well. It iseverywhere and it is inescapable!How many times do you think we've heard people say to us No,Don't or Can't, since we began to crawl? When a child is undersomeone's roof and under someone's rule, he or she has nochoice but to follow their rules. In the process that child willhear one of these three words probably at least once a day, intheir first seventeen years. That is over 6,000 days. Rememberit only takes at most 66 days to form a habit.These words will be around forever. They will continue to followyou into your schools, your employment and your socialgatherings. Ultimately No, Don't and Can't will reach yoursubconscious mind. There they will reside and cause themost damage for the rest of your life. These words are inyour head right now whether you realize it or not. They aremaking decisions for you on a subliminal level. And the otherfactors to follow will join them. Together they will form apowerful force in your subconscious mind, to battle for controlover you, and they do win most often.by Remegio “Rey” Mellomida 27www.fb.com/RemegioMellomida

7 Factors Of UNsuccess And How To Use Them To SucceedThe Next Three FactorsAs you already know toddlers are defiant. They are socommitted and determined. They don't care what we say tothem. They will ignore us when we tell them No, Don't or Can't,and so they still go for it. Like a horse with blinders, they arenarrow-minded. They only see what they want in front of them,and that is what they will focus on. Nothing else matters at thatmoment. Not until something else distracts them. Maybesomething brighter, another sound, or a better look and feel,and whatever else that catches their attention.They are so persistent. They will stop at nothing until they getit, or until they get distracted. If toddlers weren't so easilydistracted, they would literally have everything they want. WhenNo, Don't or Can't aren't effective enough to control toddlers,we introduce three other controlling factors.We use FEAR when we do not want children to go into a room.We tell them \"there's a boogieman, a monster or somethingscary inside.\" We even use punishments as a way to instill fearin them. We might say something like \"you'll get a spanking ifyou open that door.\" And what do they do? They open the door.Of course they are going to open the door. They are childrenand they are highly curious with heightened senses. When wewant them to do or not do something we use fear to have it ourway. When we want them to behave in a certain manner, weagain use fear to influence their behavior.For me the biggest fear was \"you will go to hell if...\" What a wayto scare a child. We instill such a huge terror into our childrenfrom a very young age. We inject horror into them even beforethey can truly comprehend. We even continue to put fear intheir head when they’re all grown up.by Remegio “Rey” Mellomida 28www.fb.com/RemegioMellomida

7 Factors Of UNsuccess And How To Use Them To SucceedWe also use GUILT on our children as a means of control. Wesay things like \"you must not love me\" or \"you must love themmore than me\" or \"that's the least you could do for living undermy roof and eating my food!\" And if they want our attentionwhen we are busy, we may tell them \"Can't you see I'm busy,what do you want?\" These and many other guilt trips are laidon children's shoulders when they are just beginning to livetheir lives.And we use SHAME as another way to control. We say thingslike \"You are such a disappointment!\" or \"you are worthless\" or\"you are just not good enough.\" When they do something wrongwe may say something like \"What were you thinking? or \"Whycan't you do anything right?\" Sometimes parents may say\"Those are for special occasions\" as if they are not special.Often times it is how we say things to our children that makesthem feel so small and insignificant.I am certain you have many phrases we could add to the few Ijust mentioned. These and many others we say to our childrenare not motivating or encouraging. They are defeating anddamaging! And it gets compounded when other adultsparticipate in this process.These three factors have an even deeper and more damagingaffect than the first three. But when put together, these halfdozen makes a very powerful combination for control. Controlthat lingers even when we are adults and become independent.So we think we are independent.Independence is a mindset. Even when you live in a free societyyour mind is not so free. You are imprisoned by control and theconditioning from your up-brining. Even away from home andaway from the people that raised you, you are still under theirinfluence.by Remegio “Rey” Mellomida 29www.fb.com/RemegioMellomida

7 Factors Of UNsuccess And How To Use Them To SucceedI have traveled around the globe. No, Don't, Can't, Fear, Guiltand Shame are the voices in my head that travels with meeverywhere. They accompany me wherever I go. They are withme and will continue to stay with me. The voices use to winover me. But now that I am fully aware, I am in controland I can win over them!These voices of No, Don't, Can't, Fear, Guilt and Shame has alife of their own in your subconscious mind. You have aconversation and/or arguments with them on a day-to-daybasis. They are alive within all of us. They play a huge part inyour decisions and how you interact with people and even withthings around you.Again for the most part, as parents we use them to keepchildren from harm. We use these factors to get them to eat theright food, or anything else we want them to do or not do. Asparents we don't think much about it. Our focus and goal is tomake sure our children are safe and secure. We do what ever ittakes to keep them from harm. At a very young age they arevulnerable. As adults we have to step in to ensure their safety.The problem I see, is when we use Fear, Guilt and Shame withthe three most powerful words as substitutes for parenting. Weuse them for negative reinforcements. The lasting affects are sogreat. People don't really understand just how much damagethey cause.As parents we make sure they obey what we say, because weare the grown ups and we are in control!I've searched online and read many dictionaries. I wanted toknow the definition of \"Parenting.\" As I suspected, not once didI find the word \"control\" as part of its meaning. But somehowwhen we become parents, we want to control our children. Weby Remegio “Rey” Mellomida 30www.fb.com/RemegioMellomida

7 Factors Of UNsuccess And How To Use Them To Succeeddo this without realizing it. Parenting has nothing to do withcontrol!In my opinion Parenting is about understanding andprotecting our children's innocence and fragility, and toalso help them build their character, strengths andabilities. As parents our job is to feed their curiosity,enhance their confidence, ignite their passion, encouragetheir persistence, expand their imagination, increasetheir commitment, broaden their creativity, defend theirfearlessness, maintain their enthusiasm and positivity,and nurture all the greatness they already posses withinthemselves.These are all inherent in every children. These aren'ttaught, they are qualities we are all born with. Let us notrob them of their natural given greatness as we havebeen robbed of ours. As parents, let us do our best toensure these qualities remain in tact. These are the \"LifeTools\" they need to survive, thrive and succeed.That's what I think parenting should be all about. It shouldnever be about control! I expand on this in the LifeTips series on\"Parenting - The Ultimate Career\"Innocent children grow up not knowing any better. They relysolely on their parents, people they trust and love. Andchildren have no way to verify the accuracy and validityof what people are telling them. They just accept things, orthey ask. But when they ask questions, adults and parents maygive them the response \"because I said so!\" or \"just do what Itell you to do!\" I know. I did the same thing when I was raisingmy kids. But how is that considered parenting? It isn't!by Remegio “Rey” Mellomida 31www.fb.com/RemegioMellomida

7 Factors Of UNsuccess And How To Use Them To SucceedThe 7th FactorFrom my observation, children learn quickly to walk, talk and gopotty because of so much encouragement we give them. Whenthey take their first step we are so happy and so excited. Evenwhen they fall we are very encouraging to have them try again,and again, and again. We don't give up until they learn. Theytry to take a step and they fall. We tell them \"Good boy or goodgirl, let's do it again.\" We say this with so much enthusiasm andexcitement. We smile from ear to ear. We laugh and we havesuch a wonderful time.Wait, Wait! Let's backup a second. Did I say we were excitedwhen our children fell trying to walk? Do we actually say \"goodboy\" or \"good girl\" even when they fail in trying? And weencourage them to try again? Even through all their failures anddisappointments we never got angry or frustrated? We actuallyenjoyed this entire process? WOW!!! How profound and so true!Where did that person go?And as they begin to make a sound what do we do? WeEncourage them! We motivate them! We tell them \"Say mama\"or \"Say dada.\" We become so silly and goofy without realizing itand without a care. We are so excited to see them grow. We areproud as they develop right in front of our eyes. We areencouraging and supportive when we are teaching them to walk,talk and go potty.Let me ask you. When a child is trying to crawl, or learn to walk,talk and go potty, do we ever say to ourselves, \"this child willnever learn!\", \"so why keep trying?\" do we say it or even thinkit? NEVER!We all know children will eventually learn. It's just amatter of time! We just have to be extremely patient, andto never stop being supportive and encouraging. Weby Remegio “Rey” Mellomida 32www.fb.com/RemegioMellomida

7 Factors Of UNsuccess And How To Use Them To Succeedcontinue to encourage the heck out of them, which in turnmotivates them to keep trying, to want to please us. With ourencouragement, they persistently keep on until they eventuallysucceed and learn to walk, to talk, to go potty and so on.So my next question is, \"why do we stop encouraging ourchildren when they get older?\" Or worse, \"why do we discouragethem as they are growing up?\" We do without knowing it.We try so hard to control them. Which goes against their naturalhuman instincts. We say No when everything to them is a\"YES.\" We say Don't when they want to \"DO more.\" We tellthem Can't when all they think about is \"How CAN I.\" They aretoddlers. They are sponges and they are extremely inquisitive!Again my theory goes back to the habits WE helped to build inour children. For so many years when we repeatedly useNo, Don't, Can't, Fear, Guilt and Shame to discipline, theybecome habits, to our Children and to Us. These arealready in our heads to begin with. Our parents helped todevelop these habits in our minds when they wereparenting us. We in turn use them and pass them alongto our children. We try so hard to keep them safe, but we usethe six negative factors to do it. I know how frustrating it is totry and get kids to do something, to eat right, to behave, tolisten, to be careful, to not do this, to not do that, to do this, todo that and on and on. They do not listen and they do theopposite of what we tell them. They are defiant and reckless,and we in turn become frustrated and impatient.Through this frustration of not being in total control of ourchildren comes the 7th factor, Lack of Encouragement. Thesix factors are also the reasons we discourage our children.Seriously, how can you be positive and encouraging if youalways use No, Don't, Can't, Fear, Guilt and Shame tocommunicate to children. That is not positive. That isby Remegio “Rey” Mellomida 33www.fb.com/RemegioMellomida

7 Factors Of UNsuccess And How To Use Them To Succeeddiscouraging and very detrimental to their development! Thiscycle will continue on to every generation until someone breaksthe habits. We don't even see it and some never will. Hopefullythis has been an awakening for you. Maybe now you recognizethe importance to minimizing the \"7 Factors\" when raisingchildren.Another thing we do subconsciously I feel, is to raise ourchildren the way we were brought up. I know I did. Think aboutit. If you have ever been a parent, did you attend parentingschool? Did your parents go to school to learn how to raise you?Probably not. Even though it is the most important job in theworld, and in humanity. So where did we learn how to parentour children? Probably from our own upbringing. Some mayhave been picked up from the media, our friends, our neighborsor from the internet. Perhaps from a book. But for the mostpart, I think we parent solely by the way we were raised. Inmost cases our parents help us to raise our children.Why don't we go to school to learn how to parent? Is there evena curriculum to parenting? And if there is, how adequate willanother person's beliefs in parenting be effective in raising yourchildren?We go to school for just about everything. We even spendthousands of dollars to learn a career. Yet most in my opinionnever spend a dime on parenting, the most critical aspect of thehuman evolution.Look at all the advertisements in front of us and around us.Society do not put enough value into parenting. Themedia, funded by huge corporations place more emphasisand greater value into spending MONEY back into theeconomy. Right back into the big corporations!by Remegio “Rey” Mellomida 34www.fb.com/RemegioMellomida

7 Factors Of UNsuccess And How To Use Them To SucceedAnd it must be known that parenting is not done properly attimes. We hear people say \"I'm not going to raise my kids theway I was raised.\" Sadly though, most still do. When childrenbecome parents, they don't instantly become expert parents.They don't quickly develop their own concept of parenting. Theyuse the same methods of No, Don't, Can't, Fear, Guilt, Shameand Lack of Encouragement. That's all they know and that'swhat they use, the habits developed and passed on from theirparents. It is no one's fault. We all do what we do based onwhat we know. Usually from information we inherited frompeople we love and trust, or from authority figures with title andstatus.Now that you are aware you can make a difference. You canmake a change. All of us can, and should.by Remegio “Rey” Mellomida 35www.fb.com/RemegioMellomida

7 Factors Of UNsuccess And How To Use Them To SucceedThe Damage Is DoneWhat a precious moment seeing our children take their firststep, and witness them walk into their own independence.But I don't think we allow our children to be independentbeyond that. We hold them back when we are constantly tellingthem No, Don't and Can't. We suppress their greatness withinwhen we instill Fear, Guilt or Shame into them. And weminimize the encouragement we used to give them. Or we stopencouraging them all together. It's bad enough when we stopthe encouragement, it's even worse when we begin todiscourage our children. We crush their Soul and their Spirit!Our Children are in an uphill battle the minute they begin towalk. NO, DON'T and CAN'T are their first three enemies. I feelthese are the most damaging and the most dangerous words inthe entire vocabulary, in any language or culture. They aremostly used to control children, and they do eventually. Whenyou add FEAR, GUILT and SHAME to those three words, we havean even bigger problem. Then take away ENCOURAGEMENT ontop of that, now we have a disaster waiting to happen. How doyou expect children to grow up healthy and happy after all that?Plus all the other negativity they are exposed to every singleday.NO, DON'T, CAN'T, FEAR, GUILT, SHAME and LACK OFENCOURAGEMENT are the \"7 Factors of UNsuccess!\" Theyare the reasons \"why most people are UNsuccessful.\" AndI mean they are the ROOT causes of why and how people losttheir confidence, fearlessness, persistence, determination,passion, commitment and all other great qualities that helps aperson become their full potential. These are the reasons whypeople become quitters, why most don't have the drive tothrive.by Remegio “Rey” Mellomida 36www.fb.com/RemegioMellomida

7 Factors Of UNsuccess And How To Use Them To SucceedAs I write this manuscript, I am surprised. With so manyuniversities and schools around the world, and so many doctors,psychologist, behaviorist, psychiatrist, neurologist and manyother specialists, I wonder why no one has written a book onthe reasons why 95% of us feel unsuccessful. Especially since itwas discovered and published back in the 1900s by NapoleonHill. I've searched online and at the library. I did not find any.The \"7 Factors\" suppresses so much greatness in our children,in all of us. It's just a matter of time when our youths go fromone extreme to the other. Toddlers start out highly curious,immensely passionate, and extremely enthusiastic. They aretotally energetic with all the great feelings of life, because theyare LIFE. Next thing you know, they are timid, shy, lackconfidence, fearful, unsure, indecisive, and the list goes on andon. This change begins to take affect at a very very young age.I think as early as preschool. This transformation is gradual. Ithappens so subtle that we miss the whole event all together.These \"7 Factors\" I wholeheartedly feel are the detriment to ournormal growth process and development. When we repeatedlysay or do something to someone for so many years, it willbecome a part of his or her subconscious life, forever.The lasting effects are permanent. These goes deep into thecore of the child, in all of us. They create their Foundation andbecome the factors of every decision made or not made. Everytime you have to decide - big or small, No, Don't, Can't, Fear,Guilt, Shame and Lack of Encouragement will always be a hugepart of the process.Have you ever been in a car, in an office or at home listening toa song? And sometime during the day do you end up hummingor singing that same song? I think we've all done it. Imaginethat song playing every day, sometimes all day, from childhoodto adulthood. How do you think this would affect you? Here'sby Remegio “Rey” Mellomida 37www.fb.com/RemegioMellomida

7 Factors Of UNsuccess And How To Use Them To Succeedwhat I think. Not only will you know the song really well, butyou will become the words and the story in the song. You willbegin to live that song subconsciously, sad or happy. The sameis true for the \"7 Factors.\" They are now a part of you.Subconsciously you are living the \"7 Factors\" daily. They are thevoices within that battles for control over you. And most of thetime they win, until now that you understand them.Often times decisions are made not out of reasons, facts orintelligence. Most decisions are made out of Fear, Guilt orShame, with the help of No, Don't or Can't in the subconscious.They are so great that you talk yourself out of many decisions,or you make poor choices. You may even become afraid orindecisive about any decision-making in your life, for the rest ofyour life. You can now change all that. UNsuccess!!” 38 Your Glass of Life And Who Is Filling Itby Remegio “Rey” Mellomidawww.fb.com/RemegioMellomida

7 Factors Of UNsuccess And How To Use Them To SucceedThe Damage Is A Slow ProcessThe reason the damage is not so apparent, is the same reasonwe don't realize we've gained weight over time. We don't noticeit until we see a before and after picture. Sometimes it takessomeone else to point it out before we see it. The weight isgained so gradually, let's say a half a pound a month. A half apound a month is not a big deal. So long as we exercise a littleto lose it every other month. Or we cut back on our food intakeonce in awhile.But in five years, if we keep gaining just half a pound amonth, it turns into thirty pounds. Thirty pounds is morevisible than half a pound, but not visible enough on aday-to-day basis. We look at ourselves in the mirror everymorning before going to work. We even look at ourselves in themirror throughout the day. Yet we cannot see the weight gain ofhalf a pound a month. It's not going to happen. That half apound a month is such a tiny gain each day. It is invisible in themirror. What usually happens is this. We wake up one morningand we all of a sudden realize we've gained thirty pounds. Thenwe get into diet programs. We want it off tomorrow morningwhen we wake up, which of course doesn't happen that quickly.Here is another example of this. We all know that grass grows.We have to mow our lawn every few days or at least once aweek. But try this. Sit in front of your yard every day and watchthe grass grow, if you can. You can't! The daily growth is so sosmall it is invisible to the human eyes. Not until a few days laterwhen it's time to mow again that the growth is apparent. That'swhen you recognize it, and not until then. This is true for ournails, our hair, our muscles, plants, flowers and many naturalgrowth that happen around us and within us. The change is sovery slow.by Remegio “Rey” Mellomida 39www.fb.com/RemegioMellomida

7 Factors Of UNsuccess And How To Use Them To SucceedHere is another example. An apple tree started out as a seed. Itturned into a small plant before becoming a big tree. Even if yousat in front of it every single day you will never see the tinygrowth. But it will be apparent when you are eventually pickingapples from it.The \"7 Factors\" has a similar affect on all children, in all of us.In the beginning toddlers will ignore you when you tell them No,Don't or Can't. They are defiant and will try and fight it. Itdoesn't affect them when you initially introduce Fear, Guilt orShame. They are still courageous and motivated even when youdo not give them Encouragement.But slowly over time, just like the weight gain, these sevenfactors will break their spirit down. Gradually they will depletetheir energy and passion, and little by little will tear into theirconfidence. Eventually that toddler child that used to get upwith energy and fire, excitement and enthusiasm, determinationand focus will become quiet and reserved, or timid and evenlazy.What's really sad is neither parent nor child understands why,until now. The child grows up no longer bubbly and happy-go-lucky, the way he or she used to be. The \"7 Factors\" hasaffected all of us, it will affect every children.For this to change, a dramatic shift in the mindset of everyonehas to happen. And it has to begin with the adults. We grownups will need to instill these mindsets into today's youths. Thisis our duty and our responsibility! It is the only way. The youngadults will eventually inherit this nation and this earth. And theywill pass it on to their children and down the line to everygeneration. We need to ensure that whatever our childrenpasses on, will have a positive lasting affect on humanity, and inthis HOME we call Earth!by Remegio “Rey” Mellomida 40www.fb.com/RemegioMellomida

7 Factors Of UNsuccess And How To Use Them To SucceedThe Damage Can Be UNDONEThe good news is, we can all learn to undo the damage. Wehave to go back the same way we got here, slowly andgradually. When I say go back, it doesn't mean we are going toregress. It just means we are going back to where we left off. Apoint in time in our childhood before the conditioning. Toreconnect with our true self at the toddler stage. A timewhen we were on fire, when we had passion and plentyof curiosity.Imagine having all the characteristics of a toddler. If you hadall the toddler qualities right now, you would beunstoppable!This process will not happen over night. It may take years and itwill take hard work. But it can be done if you are committed anddedicated!by Remegio “Rey” Mellomida 41www.fb.com/RemegioMellomida

7 Factors Of UNsuccess And How To Use Them To SucceedBelieve And Have FAITH In YOUrselfTo the right is a photo of my son Nick at four Fearless Nick - Heyears old, jumping into the pool before heknew how to swim. At one point in our did not even knowbeginnings we were fearless, imaginative, how to swim yetpersistent, focused, committed, determined,relentless, happy, energetic, confident andmany other great qualities. I believe you stillhave greatness locked within you. Just haveFAITH. Believe in yourself like I believe in YOU!With these LifeTips, together we will rediscover and reconnectwith your true and great human potential. The way you weremeant to be.I have faith in you. I believe you can unlearn the things youdon't want in your life. I have confidence that you can learnanything you want, as long as you truly want to. We are ahuman learning machine. We are designed to learn. Everythingyou know, you have learned since you crawled. I am certain youcan learn and regain your confidence. You can learn anythingelse you want if you choose to.Just like anything else, you get really good at something bydoing it over and over. Doing it repeatedly until it becomessecond nature. The key is to first learn the best way and theright way to doing something. Then you just do it repeatedlyuntil you become good at it. Just like your job, something youdidn't know the first day you started. It's like learning a videogame. You didn't know how to play it the first time you tried,but you learned. It's like learning a song. You play and rewinduntil you learn it, and so on.The hardest part is actually DOING. Deciding on something andstarting on it. In Physics we learned that it takes a lot of energyby Remegio “Rey” Mellomida 42www.fb.com/RemegioMellomida

7 Factors Of UNsuccess And How To Use Them To Succeedand effort to start moving an object. But once an object ismoving it is easier to keep it going. You are no different. JustSTART! Go Do It! Once you do, continue doing it consistently.Maintain the activities. That's what creates habits, andultimately will create your success.Let's get back to learning. Everything is learned and anythingcan be learned! In the series \"Your Greatest Skill\" you willdiscover \"your best talent and skill is your ability to learnanything.\" You have learned everything you know. You learnedto crawl, walk, talk, read, write, drive, sing, dance and on andon, it is endless. Literally everything that you know andeverything that you are, you have learned from the moment youlearned to crawl. Think about anything and everything that youknow. How did you come to know it when you were not bornwith it? You LEARNED it!So logically if everything is learned and anything can be learned,then there is nothing you cannot learn. No great person, and Imean no one was ever born knowledgeable. They learned whatthey know. As an infant you were a blank canvas. You were justan empty cup. But you keep filling your cup of knowledge bylearning as you grow. So you can most definitely learn anything.And if you can learn anything, you can become anything oranyone you want to be.This is why I believe in you! And that's why you should believein YOURSELF. Just HAVE FAITH in YOU and give yourself time tolearn. The rest will fall into place.by Remegio “Rey” Mellomida 43www.fb.com/RemegioMellomida

7 Factors Of UNsuccess And How To Use Them To SucceedHOW TO UNLEARN, GROW AND SUCCEEDUnfortunately the negativity in your head cannot be easilydiscarded. The time it takes to Unlearn and relearn will dependon your age, and how long you've allowed others, your parents,family members, friends, co-workers, religious leaders and otherauthority figures and role models to influence your thoughts.There isn't a quick fix, but if you are committed, dedicated andpersistent, you can undo and unlearn years of conditioning.From years of experience I found three basic steps to solvingproblems.- The first step is to be aware and to accept the problem. Foryou, this means to first recognize and accept you are notwhere you want to be in life, and that you want to changeyour life-path. It's just like driving a car. If you are lost youfirst have to realize it, and accept it. You then back-up, makeleft turns, right turns and even u-turns to get back on the rightpath to your destination. Life is no different.- The second step is to find out the cause. Did you miss a turnor did you make a wrong turn? It is difficult to correct a problemif you don't know the root cause of it. The \"7 Factors\" are themissed turns and wrong turns of life, the root causes to why youare not where you want to be in life!- The final third step is to correct, minimize or eliminate thecauses. This is the back-up, left turns, right turns or u-turns ofLife. Once you have control over the causes, problems willeventually disappear. The system will go back to normal, toyour full potential. In the human system, the best way tocorrect the causes is to Change Your Mindset! This will be ourmain focus.by Remegio “Rey” Mellomida 44www.fb.com/RemegioMellomida

7 Factors Of UNsuccess And How To Use Them To SucceedDeveloping The Right MindsetEverything starts in the mind! Fix the mind and you fix theperson. So let's focus on YOUR thoughts. The first step in solving a problem is Awareness; to first Know & Accept there is a problem. Napoleon Hill discovered a long time ago that 95% are unsuccessful. Whether that number is still true today or not, we are reminded that most are still not where they want to be. Just look around us and watch the news. Unemployment is still high, many have lost their jobs and their homes. Others have had their income reduced dramatically and lives have been turned upside down. You may personally know some of these people, and you may be one of them. Recognize you are not where we want to be, so you can alter your direction. My good friend Sunil Wadhwa introduced me to a list. I've been using it to gauge if people are where they want to be in life. Let's see how many of the five you have in common. 1. Most do not like their job. Do you? 2. Most do not have a plan B (another source of income). 3. Most are financially challenged. 4. Most do not have a secure future, and 5. Most do not have Residual Income or Retirement Income. Residual Income is money you receive whether you work or not. Passive income is vital if you lose your main source of income or if you plan to retire someday. Since 2009 the majority of people I talked to have said yes to at least two or three of the items on the list. So if you answered yes to at least two, you are not alone. But it isn't enough to just recognize you are not where you want to be inby Remegio “Rey” Mellomida 45www.fb.com/RemegioMellomida

7 Factors Of UNsuccess And How To Use Them To Succeed life. You have to also accept it, take ownership and responsibility for it. Then you must badly want something better. Otherwise things will remain as is. Step 2 in solving the problem is to identify the cause or causes to this problem. I have done this for you. I have shared with you the \"7 Factors\", the root causes of why you are somewhere other than where you should be in life. But I also believe that even when people know their problem and the cause of it, most will not change. That's because they fail to recognize a solution. It's hard to change if there's nothing to make it better. I've seen this when I talk to people. Most say \"it is what it is, and there's nothing I can do about it.\" And they remain where they are. So just as important, you must also know and accept there is a solution.Do This: Take a moment to asses your situation orcircumstance. It's like being on a drive and you discover thatyou are lost. Or you realize that somehow you are no longer onthe right path. Evaluate your current situation. Are you whereyou want to be in life? If not, accept and own it. You can nolonger ignore your situation as it will never get better on itsown. Keep in mind, you alone drive your own vessel. You havebeen doing so for most of your life. So it is very important foryou to take responsibility for where you are!Ask yourself \"What caused me to be where I am?\" Be honestwith yourself as you examine this. Has the \"7 Factors\" Imentioned caused you to NOT be your Best? Which in turncaused you to not have the best for yourself and your family?If it's a relationship issue, ask yourself \"what have I done orhaven't done to make it better?\" Don't think about the otherperson. Stay focused on you. You have no control over others,you only have control over your own thoughts and actions. Askby Remegio “Rey” Mellomida 46www.fb.com/RemegioMellomida

7 Factors Of UNsuccess And How To Use Them To Succeedyourself, \"what decisions and actions have I made, or haven'tmade that got me to where I am now?\" Or \"am I doing all I can?And can I do more?\"If it's a finance issue, again ask yourself \"what have I done orhaven't done to take control of my situation, my career and myspending?\" \"Have I allowed others to have control over myfinances?\" Or \"have I made poor decisions about my assets, myinvestments or my career?\" And \"can I do more to make more?\"Maybe your company has downsized or shut down because ofthe recent real estate crash. Maybe you've lost your job.Perhaps you don't make enough money or have had to take apay cut. There are many situations where you have no control,so...Do This: No matter how bad things seem, do NOT beat yourselfup. Even if it is your own fault. We will make bad decisions andwill make mistakes throughout our lives, no one is perfect.Things happen to us and around us whether we like it or not.The time will tick twenty-four hours in a day and we cannot stopit or reverse it. The sun will shine and the rain will fall when itdoes. Plants, trees, flowers and grass will grow. Nature willcontinue to go on and we are a part of the system. What I'msaying is \"things happen!\" That is Life! So do not be hard onyourself.But as I mentioned earlier, just as important is to also \"Knowand Accept there is a Solution!\" Whether you see it, realize it orknow it, there will always be a solution. But solutions are out offocus or invisible if you are only looking at your problems.If you stare at one thing you miss out on everything else.You need to learn to look away from problems. Focus instead onSolutions. Learn from toddlers. They will only and alwaysby Remegio “Rey” Mellomida 47www.fb.com/RemegioMellomida

7 Factors Of UNsuccess And How To Use Them To Succeedfocus on getting what they want, not what they don'thave.Do This: Here is your first Mindset exercise. STOP focusing onyour problem(s). Instead concentrate all your energy andresources into solutions to making your situation better,making your life better. You can do this by asking yourself\"How Can I... ?\" and fill in the blank. Then you have to payattention and be open-minded as solutions will begin to appear.We will revisit this later and I will elaborate more on it. From this point on we will concentrate on Step 3 to solving and correcting your UNsuccess. We will focus and work on \"Changing Your Mindset!\" Change begins from within. How do you change from within? This is done through the mind. Your brain is your Central Processing Unit. It controls everything about you. Once you have complete awareness and have total control of the inputs to your mind, you can control the output. You will then have the discipline over your thoughts, your actions and your results. Let's begin. Would you agree that water, sunlight and fertile soil will determine if a tree, plant, or flower will survive or not? Would you also agree that these three things will also dictate how healthy it will become when it grows? As a matter of fact, if you take any one away everything dies. Take water away and trees will eventually die. Take sunlight away and plants die. Take flowers out of their soil and it too will die. Water, sunlight and fertile soil are the basic necessities of life, even for humans. Without water we too will die. Without sunlight the earth would freeze us all to death. And without land to plant food we would all starve and perish.by Remegio “Rey” Mellomida 48www.fb.com/RemegioMellomida